CIA Fires Dog Too Cuddly to Find Explosives

By Andrew Magnotta

October 19, 2017

Lulu, the bomb-sniffing dog trainee who refused to sniff bombs, has been terminated from the CIA.

The intelligence agency made the announcement in a surprising series of Tweets Wednesday afternoon. It was clear: no matter how many treats or extra playtime Lulu was offered, she simply wasn't motivated to help detect explosive odors.

"Sometimes, even after testing, our pups make it clear being an explosive detection K9 isn’t for them," read the first of several Tweets from the CIA's official verified Twitter account.

The CIA insists Lulu was given all the resources dogs in its K9 unit are normally given.

The agency's "doggy psychologists" even attempted to find out what was wrong.

"Sometimes a pup is bored & needs extra playtime, sometimes they need a little break, or it’s a minor medical condition like a food allergy." 

After a few weeks, the pacifist pooch "was clearly no longer enjoying herself." The CIA had to make a difficult decision: Lulu was fired.

Fortunately, handlers are given the opportunity to find a home for dogs that fail out of K9 training, so Lulu's handler adopted her!

She now enjoys a more relaxing life at home, playing with children and "sniffing out squirrels in the backyard."

Good for Lulu for landing on her paws and becoming a dog of leisure!

Photo: Twitter / CIA

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