Billie Eilish On Why She Felt Like Her 'Body Was Gaslighting' Her For Years
By Katrina Nattress
January 5, 2023
Billie Eilish has never shied away about her struggles with body image, and in a new interview with Vogue she opened up about how a hip injury she sustained at age 13 turned into hypermobility — a condition that causes joint issues — and resulted in resentment against her body.
“Going through my teenage years of hating myself and all that stupid s**t,” the singer explained, “a lot of it came from my anger toward my body, and how mad I was at how much pain it’s caused me, and how much I’ve lost because of things that happened to it.”
“I felt like my body was gaslighting me for years. I had to go through a process of being like, my body is actually me. And it’s not out to get me,” she admitted. “I got injured right after we made ‘Ocean Eyes’, so, music kind of replaced dancing.”
During an interview in 2019, Eilish confessed that she believes the injury resulted in years of suffering from depression. “It sent me down a hole,” she said at the time. “I went through a whole self-harming phase – we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
Though she's happier now, in 2021 Eilish confessed that she's still not satisfied with her body. "I'm very confident in who I am, and I'm very happy with my life ... I'm obviously not happy with my body," she said, "but who is?"