March 10, 2023 • 39 mins
Bill Miller & Danny G. host a fun "The Benny's" Red Carpet Gala: Propapalooza, The Nominees Please, & infamous Ben Maller Show drops to back it all up! Your complete guide to the 95th Benny Awards!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:23):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the
air everywhere, back at it on the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g Radio. This is a special
edition of The Fifth Hour, unlike every other edition. Danny, Gee,
(00:45):
are you prepared? Are you ready for one of the
biggest events? Yeah, the Oscars on Sunday night. I can't well. No,
that isn't cuts a bad answer, That is a wrong answer. No.
The single ratest night in overnight sports talk radio is
just a couple of days away. And this is a
(01:07):
global exclusive, Danny. The content we are providing today, no
one else has it. ESPN doesn't have it, CBS doesn't
have it, NBC nobody has it. We are the only podcast.
Joe Rogan doesn't have it, Adam Carolla doesn't have it.
Nobody in the podcast game has the content we are
(01:29):
about to provide. We paid for the rights, Danny. We
own the naming rights. We are the show of record,
the only pregame show that matters. For the twenty twenty
three Benny's celebrating marginal overnight talk radio in the sports format.
(01:51):
And I'm so excited. This is amazing, Danny. How lucky
are we to be here? I know, I even have
a sponsor card here in my email inby It's brought
to you by Rhodo Router. Dude, Now, do you have
your your gift bag of good east? Do you have
your gift bag of goodies? We've got diapers in the bag.
I look at that. What else is it in there?
(02:12):
A bottle of whiskey? Look at that stick. Yeah, there's
some chap stick in there. That's pretty good. There's a
hair replacement product. Uh, there's a boner pills that's in
there as well. So there's a bottle of urine in here. Well,
Doc Mike made sure he wanted everyone to be welcomed
with open arms. There's a mandolin from Dick and Dayton.
Look at that, a mandolin, Dixter. That's a that's crazy.
(02:37):
This is an amazing goodie bag. What a great goodie craft.
This is a big one. Oh what is that? What
is that? What do you guys? Is that? I think
that is a I believe that's one of blind Scots canes.
I think that's one of his jes right there? Why
is that in there? I thought it was for stickball,
h cow cowboy. And Winter's got some old newspapers he's donating,
(02:59):
so that's exciting. In the goodie bag and what's hollering
James is giving us some old pill bottles from as
many medications that he takes. I'm a doctor. So this
is the pregame for the main event. We've got proper palooza,
the nominees please, and then whatever else we have time for.
(03:23):
Maybe we'll get the pop quiz maybe well, maybe we'll
get the scientific goal. Maybe we won't. But it just depends, right,
depends how much time we have. So we begin with
this though the fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Danny
g Radio. We are all dressed in the night. Danny,
you've got your formal outfit on right there. You're looking
at a solid People can't see you because it's a podcast,
but trust us and we are just a couple of
(03:46):
days away from I got to repeat this the greatest
night in overnight sports talk radio, the twenty twenty three
Benny Awards, celebrating the contributions of men, women and children,
well mostly men from around the globe who have helped
cultivate content. And really these are people that are influences, Danny.
(04:07):
The people that are nominated are influencers. It has been called,
and rightfully so, the single pinnacle event, the seminal event
of the show. And we all come together, we pat
each other on the ass, and we say how great
we are and all that. It is a tradition unlike
any other. As Jim Nance might say, a toe tapping
(04:30):
good time. It's like a trip to the hooting nanny, Danny.
It's like a trip to the hooting nanny. And so
this is the pregame show. Consider this the red carpet galla,
all the glits, all the glamor. You never know what
Felexus is gonna wear, for example, or our friend Mark,
the full name guy in Medford, Oregon. You just don't know.
(04:52):
But we will be mixing, and we will be mingling.
I've never seen Coop in a suit before. I know
he's but look at that. He's got a b all
in his pocket. Though even though he's warning the suit,
he's still got the ball with him. I wish I
could pull off those suits. So that's good to see.
Roberto's wearing a chef's hat for cooking with Roberto, so
he's got that on. Eddie's looking at some old hockey magazine.
(05:14):
I don't know why he's doing that. He's in a
walking boot like Kevin Durant. Though it's a bad job
by him. Shame on him. How about shut up? So anyway, listen,
get to the point. Please. We like gambling on this show.
We knew Benny versus the Penny during football season, so
I thought, why not a proper palooza. Danny and the
(05:36):
Mallard sports Book is open for business. I have put
together with help from consultant's connoisseurs of offshore sports books,
we have put together some prop bets for the twenty
twenty three Bennies. Are you prepared? I did cast my
vote a couple of days ago. Oh really, would you
like to share who you voted for? No? No, no,
(05:58):
that's well, that was gonna be my next point. Okay,
I have more than one Gmail address. Oh my next
vote could be bought. I'm just saying. And you can
send money. You can venmo the money. Is that what
you'd like? You prefer Venmo yes? Yes? Or zell or cash,
just straight cash. There's no paper trail. Great cash, that's right.
(06:21):
So these are prop bets we've come up with for
the twenty twenty three Bennis. Consider this your companion to
the Benny Awards. We have this prop bet will there
be a wardrobe malfunction at the Bennies? Will anyone have
a wardrobe malfunction? Yes? Is plus five thousand, so there's
a less than two percent chance. I think that's a
(06:42):
value play, Danny, because you know, we have we have
some people that are a little loose on the show
that that might win a Benny, right, and and so
be careful on that. And you know, we we could
put together like a Nickelodeon style obstacle cours. Somebody could
get covered in green slime and then they might take
(07:04):
their clothes off. So that's always a possibility. Does seeing
Flexus's toes count? Uh, it's fine because it's only seven toes.
It's like seven and a half toes, So that's perfect.
That that's you know, that's okay, missing two and a
half toes. Here's another profet. How likely is a pie
to be thrown into the face of a nominee yes
(07:25):
is plus two fifty. That's a seventy percent chance or
a thirty percent, But mainly because of furg Dog. Burg
Dog's a clown. I wouldn't put it past furg Dog
to throw a pie in his own face. That guy's
That guy's a knucklehead. Here's a here's another prope that's
pretty good. Which hard luck loser is most likely to
(07:49):
have a hissy fit? Brian bill Brian Billick, that's a
good one. Now, Marcel is a minus two eighty favorite,
ourselves a minus two any favorite. As you know, Danny,
you've been in this game for a long time. You
know how this works, and it's a very emotional event.
Motions run high. Yeah, people really put a lot into this.
(08:13):
It's a big deal. It's a big deal to win
a Benny. And if you get this close and you
don't win, man, is that a kick to the nuts? No.
And I saw a list of snubs on Bleacher Report yesterday.
I was mentioned in the article because I think this
is like doing taxes. Instead of thinking of the actual
year that these Benny Awards are four people, think of
(08:36):
what just happened right now prior to Covino and Rich
who was Coop's fill in guy, the microphone throttler. It
is a travesty, It is an injustice. It is one
of the great miscarriages of justice in the Western world.
Danny g that you were not included in that, and
you are correct, you are. I'm not gonna say that.
(08:57):
There are not a lot of notes that are taken
throughout the years, so people can go back and look
at some of the great moments. But it just seems
that if you've made more of an impact, it's a
little bit of a cheat code for next year's Manies.
If you've made an impact within the last like two
and a half months prior to the Bennies, yea a
competitive advantage. You have a leg up on everyone else.
(09:21):
Like there's people that did great stuff, wonderful stuff on
the show back in May of last year, June April,
and it gets lost in the haze the battlefield, the
fog not of war, Danny, because we're not doing war,
but it's the fog of radio of sports talk radio, right,
(09:44):
and people become prisoners of the moment, right, That's what
always happens here, prisoners of the moment, and so that
is also that's also part of So just back to
that away. As we continue are in debt, team coverage
and more recency bias on this. These are actual prop
(10:05):
bets from the Mallow Sports Book. As we try not
to jump the gun on this, we have I think
one or two more. We have who is most likely
to go woke at the acceptance speech for the winning
the award? Now, this is always a tough one because
we have a lot of hardcore, buttoned up guys. I
would say that Justin and Cincinnati and Jed who fled
(10:28):
obviously they are the long shots. But if Justin gets
all liquored up or smokes too many joints, I could
see that Jed who fled he's one injection away from
going full woke. But I gotta put Plastered Paul from
Rhode Island as the favorite if he were to win. Benny,
because we've already he's like Archie Bunker, which is an
(10:50):
outdated reference Danny, but let's just say he's aging, he's
an old fogy and he has no there's no mute button,
there's no filter. He's unfiltered. He's raw with his commentary.
I also feel like though Justin and Cincinnati, he is
an undercover w NBA fan. I know this about Justin.
(11:14):
He loves the w NBA. Doesn't talk about it a lot,
but he's a huge fan. So if and when he's
on the stage accepting his award, he might say that
the w NBA players deserve equal pay. Yeah. Well, the
other thing about Justin and I don't know, he's probably
not gonna like that. I'm giving this out into the
(11:37):
cosmos here on the podcast. But for years, our man
Justin and Cincinnati has been a huge Meghan Rapino fan
who women's soccer. He actually told me when he was
a kid he loved women's soccer and his entire life.
He's just continued that he really likes the rainbow haircuts.
(11:57):
He thinks that that really just pushed it over the top.
So as we understand it, he's a huge fan of
women's soccer. So that's a that's a great take in
women's basketball too. And people think of Justin as being
like a neanderthal and a caveman and all that stuff.
But no, no, he's a nuanced man that Justin and Cincinnati.
(12:18):
Very complex. Yeah, exactly, He's like a Rubric's cube. It's
not easy to solve. Not easy to solve. So last
prop bet, what will happen if Brian Finley does not win? Now?
Favorite is and he's up for filling of the Year Daddy,
and the I'm looking at the odds here from the
(12:41):
Offshore book, what will happen if Brian Finley doesn't win?
A crowbar attack is plus one fifty, So that's a
forty percent chance that there'll be a crowbar attack dropping
a piano on my head. That is a minus one
seventy five favorite, So that is a sixty three percent chance,
(13:03):
sixty three. So those are some of the odds on
on the Benny some of the props. Now, how about
the nominees. We should go point by point through the
nominees one more time so you can hear all of
the nominees if you have not voted yet, and I'm
tweeting out this podcast, and I will make sure below
(13:25):
the podcast link on my Twitter page and also the
Facebook page, I'll make sure to include a link so
you have another opportunity if you haven't voted yet, and
if you've already voted, as Danny pointed out, just get
another Gmail account. Boom, you can vote again. Now, is
there a way to write in somebody on the ballot? Oh? God, no, no,
come on the dopey, stupid Chiefs ball Award show. It's
(13:49):
wrong with you, Danny? How dare you? There is prestige,
There is absolutely prestige. There's a bit of a clout
that comes with this. You get a street credit in
the malle Militia, which is exciting and all that stuff.
But it's not like you win this and you all
of a sudden you're gonna become a captain of industry
or an aristocrat or anything like that. But there is
no write in ballot. What kind of radio show are
you guys doing? So the nominees. Here we go. Let's
(14:12):
get to the point. It is the nominees and why
they matter. Okay, why they matter? The nominees for the
twenty twenty three Bennies celebrating marginal overnight sports talk radio
in the year twenty twenty two. These are the ones
that stood out and just to be nominated, My god,
what an honor? What in honor. So few people in
(14:35):
the world ever get nominated for the Bennies. And you
think about all of the people that lived, all of
the people that have been part of society and humanity,
and never were they nominated for a Benny. It's just
absolutely studying when you think about all the big name
Babe Ruth never got nominated for a Benny. Lebron James
(14:57):
has not been nominated for a Benny. Tom Brady never
nominated for a Benny. It's craziness. Yeah, Abraham Lincoln never nominated,
George Washington never nominated for a Benny. Vladimir Putin not
nominated for a Benny. I can go on, Ben, congratulations
the nominees please for Rookie Caller of the Year. The
(15:21):
nominees are Andre in Massachusetts aka the Commonwealth, fer Dog
in southern California, Poppy in San Diego, Alameter Lou from
the Bay Area, and Andy the comic book guy in Pasadena.
So I did notice on this category, Danny handicapping the category.
(15:47):
It is very heavy towards California. Yeah, only one of
the candidates on one of the nominees is not from
the Golden State. Andrea and the Commonwealth is on an
island by himself, and he's a polarizing caller too, Danny
g because there's a lot of the guys who tweet
the show are upset with Andre. They don't like him,
(16:10):
they think he's a thief in the night. I don't
know why. It just rubs people the wrong way, I guess.
But you've got furg Dog. I would put furg Dog
as a favorite just because he's so active. I gotta
think Poppy in San Diego. Also because he's called a lot,
he's been part of the show. So I think those
(16:33):
also for worst caller of the year. Yes, yes, that's
the beauty of the show. You can be not only
the rookie of the year, but also the worst caller
on the show. You can wait. Awards says a lot
about your show. How dare you winner? Covino and Rich
doing their awards show? Is that next week? That? All right?
Best game show contestant, that's the Dan Patrick show that
(16:56):
steals your content. I've heard that, but I had no comment.
Best game show contestant, You've got Matt in Phoenix. Now,
this guy's a phoenion, this guy's a prodigy. This mad
in Phoenix. I learned this week on the show, Danny
that Matt, who's twenty five years old, he's been listening
to the show since he was thirteen years old, so
(17:20):
he's been pretty much grown up with you when you
were part of the show and with me, and now
he's fifty seven years old. Now, oh no, no, I've
only been doing radio for like five years, but he's
been he's been listening before I was even on Fox
Sports Radio and amazing run Mad in Phoenix. He was
from Illinois. He lives in Phoenix now going to school.
(17:41):
And this guy is up for Best Game Show Contestant.
Also the man that was part of a cheating scandal,
Justin in Cincinnati. And I gotta tell you, Danny, if
Justin ends up winning, that would be very deflating because
he was part of such a despicable thing on this
(18:05):
show with Eddie Garcia on the Overnight show, to the
idea that he would be rewarded, it would be the
equivalent of the cheating as assholes getting credited with winning
the World Series. But again, it's what have you done
for me lately with these awards? This is not really
(18:25):
the beginning of twenty twenty two that your listeners are
thinking about right now. Yeah, no, is that is accurate,
But that was six months. The suspension was six months.
It carried most of the year. We have Uncle Mo.
Uncle Mo is the sparky Anderson of the Overnight Show.
(18:46):
He sounds like he's in his sixties or seventies, but
he's only in his I believe twenties, and he's like
a trivia savant guy. It's insane the amount of random,
meaningless sports tribua that Uncle Mo has in that brain
(19:06):
of his. It really is. He's one of the nammies.
Who else do we have? We have Mitchell in Ohio
as a gag and Mason the Millennial, So those are
the other two that are there. Mitchell is one of
the funniest people that play these games, but doesn't even
realize that he's funny. Danny, you know what I mean,
(19:27):
Like he says stuff where he's not trying to be funny,
but everyone in the room cracks up and has a
belly laugh at the expense of our friend Mitchell in Ohio.
Those are the best kind of comedians. Yeah, it's it's
a windfall. When he's on the air, it's an absolute windfall.
(19:47):
And he doesn't even realize it. The next category, and
in that category I do have Justin and Uncle mos
Co favorites, but I'm pulling from Uncle Mo. I do
not have a say in this, but I am from
Uncle Mo. Best Instant AdviceLine Caller is the next category.
And people have said the instant Advice line is like
(20:08):
an audition. It's like a tryout for the main main show,
a dummy run, if you will, which is perfect any
because our show has a lot of dummies, right, we
have a lot of dummies on the on the radio show.
So the nominees for Best Instant Advice Line Caller, we
have Whoopee Pie Blair's impersonator where he says it's too
much masturbation the problem here. That's a good one. That's
(20:32):
a solid one. We have. I know it's you, Roberto guy,
yeah with his creepy serial killer voice, Fudgie Como from
Boston who does the funny fudgie voice, Sean the Hood
guy who's been very prolific at the Instant AdviceLine, and
Angry Bill speaking of dummies, Well, he's just a nut
(20:55):
from Nutley, New Jersey. What about a nine year old girl? Yeah, yeah,
that's the guy. And in this category this is too
tough to call. I I would give an edge to
the Whoopie Pie impersonator, But Fudgie this is his this
is his wheelhouse here, Fudgie, this is his special special thing.
(21:17):
So I would say Whoopie Pie impersonator or Fudgie. And
I haven't seen the number, so I don't know who's
who's leading, and I don't I purposely did not look
at the numbers because I want to go into this
and to give my opinion as we go through this.
Oh I did at thirty Now I'm just kidding, all right.
Next up another very competitive category, Best Lame Joke Writer,
(21:42):
Best Lame Joke Writer. Ooh, this is competitive. Yeah, this
is a tough category. This is another difficult category because
there's so many people that are just wonderful at sending
jokes and they've improved the show. They've made the show
more enjoyable, they've upgraded the content. So I do think
(22:03):
everyone that sends jokes in, even the people that aren't
funny who send the jokes in. But the nominees for
Best Lame Joke Rider of the Year, we have Gordon
in Tacoma, Gordon's been with the show a long time
as a joke rider. Usually sends two jokes a week
in and they're both pretty good. Normally they both make
the air. Ozzy Momentum, who is a sporadic joke rider,
(22:27):
but when he jokes very funny. Surfer Todd, the comedian
he's been in studio. We love Surfer Todd and he's
a volume joke guy. He normally sends four or five
jokes a week to the show. Anthony and Anaheim, who
is sporadic. He's one of the nominees. Gary from Youngstown,
Ohio another prolific joke rider. Gary's sent a lot of
(22:50):
jokes over the last year, although not recently. He got
upset with me at the end of last year when
I missed some joke days and so he stopped sending
jokes in for now, but I'm sure he'll be back.
Georgie and Rochester, Minnesota. George normally sends just one joke
a week in and it typically does get on the air.
Kurt from Earth is another volume joke sender, very funny guy. Normally,
(23:16):
a lot of his stuff doesn't make the air because
it's offensive and it goes right to Cooper Loop and
then he ignores it. Justin in DC, Justin and Washington,
d C. I, for my money, dollar for dollar is
by far and away the very top of the line
(23:36):
when you whittle these things down, He's at the very
top of a prototypical joke rider. He is the quintessential
joke rider at this point. This guy Danny, he will
send in and I'm not exaggerating here, fifteen to twenty
jokes a week, fifteen to twenty jokes a week, and
they're all great. He loves the show. He listens every
(24:00):
night to the show and the podcast, and so he
writes jokes about people that call. He's he facilitates comedy.
Gold is what he does. Then we've got Mason and
Huntington Beach, another very funny man, and Chip in Maine.
Chip in Maine as well. Also Chip usually sends one
(24:21):
or two jokes in, just like Mason in Huntington Beach.
But those guys are very amusing, very funny, So we
thank all of them for sending jokes. This category, I'm
gonna give a lean towards Surfer Todd the comedian because
he's well known in this world, well known in this
(24:42):
world and to me, Justin and DC is neck and
neck with Surfer Todd and Gordon and Tacoma and Kurt
from Earth. It's a it's really a bottleneck in this division.
So there is that. And Danny, you have still been
part of the jokes. People do still jokes about you
from this podcast. You'll be happy to know. Nice. Yeah,
(25:04):
I hope they're racist jokes racist. Those are the ones
that don't get on the air anymore, but they are.
They're very offensive jokes. Roberto. It's funny bring up that
because Roberto asked for racist jokes, you wanted to read
them on the air, and we got a bunch of them,
but they were so racist we couldn't read them on
the air. Oh, those necros looking, I don't know what
(25:29):
you're talking about that. I have no idea. Next category
is the best Mallaris song, Best Mallor song. We have
Hey Brittany from mister PC That is song number one.
Number two is in the Name of Bean from Just
Josh and Jay Scoop and song number three nominee number
(25:54):
three from Ohio al comfortably ben of a tough category.
They're all chart toppers. Yeah, they're all really good. They're
all really good. I'm gonna give the gambling edge based
on name brand values. You know, a lot of winning election,
(26:14):
Danny is people being aware of who you are, right,
you have to have a high Q score. So I
want to go just Josh and Jay Scoop as the
favorite on that with their YouTube parody, their YouTube parody.
But you can't go wrong with mister pc Ohio. All
these guys are all all great. Next category of the
nominees for best crew fill in on the Bennies And
(26:37):
I'm looking page down here. As you said that, Danny,
I do not see you here. I see a bunch
of deadbeats, but I don't see you here. Well, you
got promoted though, you're a big time now, You're you're
you're a big deal. You're a mucket band. I know
my roots, and you gotta stay with your roots now.
You don't want to stay with us parasites on the overnight.
You've moved on. You're you're a big daytime guy, evening gay.
(26:59):
But I moved on at the very end of twenty
twenty two. That means all those other ten months I
put in all those long overnight hours filling in for Coop.
Anytime he had a hangnail. Yeah, so how about it,
Why don't you and Coop you can flip we'll do
like a reverso and like one day a month, you'll
do the Overnight show and Coop will do Covino and
(27:20):
rich Pool. Problem solved. There you go. They would love that.
Would Coop be there though for their pre show meeting?
Oh yeah. Let me tell you one thing Coop does
as long as it's like sixty seconds before the show,
he will be right there as long as it's it's
just sixty seconds before they And he doesn't need a
lot of meeting He's not a meeting guy. Dany I
don't even know. Coop does not believe in a lot
of meetings. He likes to let the show happen organically.
(27:43):
It's what he likes to do, you know. Anyway, we
have Brian no a long time fill in for me.
I will Iowa Sam, who fills in for Roberto. Yep,
we're all fans of Iowa Sam. Kevin Wyret, the new
guy is a saddle bad guy. We called him. We
call him Sparty. All I know is he did a
(28:05):
paper on you when he was in school. Yes, yes, uh,
we have Brian Finley. I don't know who that is.
Bernie Fratto. We love Bernie, Bernie from Vegas. Yeah, Moncy
Belanos and Brandon True. Brandon's the Padre Yankee fan who's
(28:28):
got the high pitched voice and it is a good
sport about it. Yeah. I like Brandon. Brandon's a good guy.
So this category eny meany money, mo. I think this
is pretty lopsided, Danny, because we got a lot of
a lot of guys on the on the audience that
vote for these things that might be thinking with some
(28:49):
other things. Uh, I knew you were a Finley fanatic. Well,
Brian is a sex symbol. I think he's got this
in the bag. I would be shocked. This would be
one of the great upsets of all time. This would
be Team USA beating If that's a good that's a
good point because there are so many thirsty Mallord militia members. Yeah,
(29:13):
if you hear any female's voice all over me, they
stand to attention immediately, as if they've never heard of
female talk before in their entire life. Oh yeah, and
a female that knows sports, Oh my god, that's daily
double Danny. Well, she kind of knows sports well, she's learning,
(29:33):
but no, I'm kidding. So congratulations to all those nominees.
We have wasted Caller of the Year. Got Joey and Nashville.
This guy's got a cartoon. Who's that cartoon dog? Huckleberry Hound?
I think that was the name before My Time for
(29:53):
my Time too. I watched the replace, But Joey and
Nashville sounds like that guy. We've got Plastered Paul and
Rhode Island, the black irishman from Omaha, Nebraska Racist and
Jed who Fled And those are all the nominees for
Wasting Call of the Year. Jed who Fled and Plastered
(30:14):
Paul have to be the co favorites in this. Jed's
been completely hammered for years and plastered Paul breakout star
over the last year or so, a Drop of the Year,
Drop of the Year. The nominees are Marcel and Brooklyn's
Big Padaca Duke or whatever he said the coupe with
Wow Wow, and I'm on there. I've got several nominees.
(30:39):
I've got Booby Yeah. Also he blew me off at
a hotel near lax that's on there. And that's my
personal favorite. Oh that was taken out of context, and
I personally happened to me, but it's my favorite. He
blew me off at a hotel near La X. Yeah,
(31:00):
I love the Taliban is also on there, which is
again out of context. I was doing a news story
and I'm coming out of the closet from hollering James.
So that is a nominee. I got a great chance
to win. If I do not win, I will be annoyed. Yeah,
you have the Taliban on your side, you should win this. No,
(31:21):
I got a fifty percent chance. There are the only
other nominees other than me are Marcel Coop and hollering James.
And I'm coming out of the closet one from hollering
James is hilarious. It's absolutely hilarious, all right. Next up,
Female Caller of the Year. The nominees are Andrea, the
astrologer known as Virgo and Service or some people call
(31:41):
her the witch Lady. We love her spin cycle, Regina
Tammy in Montana and Rachel in Montabello. Are those are
the nominees for Female call of the Year and all. Yes,
you know I'm a I'm a woman, hear me raw? Right,
So this is tough because Tammy is beloved in the
(32:04):
Matta militia, but she doesn't call as much. She hasn't
really been calling that much. Spin Pycho Regina also loved,
but she doesn't call that much anymore. Nito's Rachel I
would say Andrew has got an edge because she's put
the work in. She's she's made the call, she stayed
on hold, she's she's done what has to be done
(32:25):
to get on the air. But again, it's not about
the past three months, it's about the prior year. So
we're any of them more active back then? Well, Spinsycho
Regina was pretty active at the beginning of twenty twenty two,
so she was there and we had the great bit
where Doc Mike and her gig. I don't want to
(32:47):
say they hooked up, but right, yeah, they got together
a little bit. I don't know what happened. They don't
kiss and tell. That was some good radio. It sounded
like Regina was scared for her life. But anyway, the
twenty twenty two beer Drinking Brian worst caller of the year,
the worst call year. It has been said Danny that
(33:09):
this is the most competitive category that we have and
all of these people super villains in the Mallard Militia.
You could have put about one hundred contestants in this category.
A lot of Dick Dastardly's in here right, a lot
of a lot of that, a lot of blockheads. We
love you, you're our blockheads, the Cobra commanders of the
(33:31):
Mallar Militia, the bad guys. We've got Poppy in San Diego,
O huge favorite, Andre in the Commonwealth from Massachusetts, hollering,
James Sir scratch Off from Arkansas, Paul in Rhode Island,
and Marcel in Brooklyn. What I have no idea which
(33:53):
direction this is going to go. A lot of people
rip Andre, so I would say he's getting a lot
of hate. Marcel gets a lot of hate also, So
do those guys end up winning or is it a
poppy win? Like why this could go any direction? Thin
line between love and hate with Marcel. Yeah, there's some
(34:15):
really funny things that Marcel says, and then there's things
we chastise him about and it's like hell fire and
damnation from him. Yeah, so you are, you're right on
that art last category we'll get out on this. The
twenty twenty two Genie and Medford memorial Caller of the
(34:36):
Year Genie. We miss you, Genie all time great and unfortunately,
once you left the show, Danny, a lot of those
Genie drops kind of went away because Roberto was not
around for when Gennie was in her heyday. So he
lives on through the Fifth Hour because her voice and
laugh is heard on just about every Fifth Hour podcast. Yeah,
(34:59):
Genie in Medford, if you did not have the good
fortune of being around on the show when Genie would
call up, Genie is an all time goat. There is
no way you can besmirch her name. One of my
favorite stories in radio the fact that she got arrested
for calling nine one one. She was just she was
just a lonely woman by herself. She wanted someone to
(35:21):
talk to, and so she called the radio station, called
the police station, rather got arrested, and the police felt
pity on her, and they said, why don't you just
find you listen to the radio, call a radio show.
They'll they'll her up all night. And she did, and
she happened to find our show and it was wonderful
and we're so grateful. Genie in Medford, who is memorialized
(35:44):
at a park in Los Angeles, right right near Dodger Stadium.
There is a Swan Boat Park in Los Angeles. And
some of the money that listeners sent in to help
pay for the cremation of Gene in Medford, her burial
and whatnot, some of the money that was left over
we were able to purchase a plaque on a bench
(36:09):
in this beautiful park with the skyline of La on
one side, and just a wonderful tribute to Genie and Medford,
which I don't think has been vandalized yet. I don't.
It's right near the playground at the park, at the
Swan Boat Boat Park if you're ever in La. I
visited it, Ben. It's beautiful, but there was a homeless
(36:30):
encampment right next to it. Yeah yeah, I went to
check it out once it was installed, and my wife
was so afraid of the environment that she stayed in
the car with the doors locked holding mace, that she
was so concerned about what was going on. Come on,
I know, come on you, yeah, I gotta live a
(36:53):
little bit, right, Danny, Come on? Got a murder anyway,
So Marcel and Brooklyn Jed who fled up for Call
of the Year. Whoopee Pie Blair who's won this award
in the past, Blind Scott from Boston. And you've got
Cowboy and Windsor and Dick in Dayton Boy, all good choices.
(37:15):
I've got Cowboy and Windsor and Dick and Dayton is
co favorites, a couple of long time blue bloods, been
around forever, They've not won this honor. So I've been
Afetime Achievement Award. Well, we had Dick and Dayton who
called up the other day. And Dick's really he's a
wonderful caller because he doesn't even realize what he's saying
(37:35):
when the calls he's made over the last couple of
years were Dick and Dayton's Like, I'd asked him about it.
What are the what are the Cleveland Indians have to do?
That was what they used to be called. What are
the Cleveland's that Indians have to do? He says, Well, Ben,
I think if they get some pitching, some offense and
some defense, they'll be all right. You know. It's just
just just great. Anyway, Congratulations to all the nominees and
(37:59):
good to all of you, and we'll see what happens
on Sunday night. It is must listen radio. If you
do not get to hear it live, you can always
go back and hear the podcast, but it's much better live.
And thank you all all the nominees that we're part
of this. And if you want to be part of
the show going forward, you just gotta be active. You
(38:21):
gotta be proactive. You gotta put the work in, you
gotta put the effort in, and you two can win
the most coveted honor in all of overnight sports talk radio,
a Benny. I heard that the Oscars are so threatened
by the Bennies that they sent a letter to our
boss Scott and asked that you move it by a week.
(38:42):
No cannot do it, No cannot do it. Screw them.
This is much more popular. We are much bigger than
the outdated and equated awards. Show that Hollywood is all right.
We'll get out on that. Anything you want to promote
Danny on this wonderful Friday. It is Friday morning right now.
That means you're done on the air. I'm not. I'll
be in there this afternoon at two pm with Covino
(39:05):
and Rich. It's not Friday the thirteenth. Is Friday, the tenth,
Today the tenth day of March. Have a wonderful rest
of your day. We got another big podcast on Saturday,
and then wait a minute, Danny another one on Sunday.
Unbelievable three again three will be in the can soon.
There you go, all right, we'll talk to you tomorrow.
(39:26):
Tomorrow is another day. Have a great rest of your
day today Later skater bo Felician
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:23):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the
air everywhere, back at it on the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g Radio. This is a special
edition of The Fifth Hour, unlike every other edition. Danny, Gee,
(00:45):
are you prepared? Are you ready for one of the
biggest events? Yeah, the Oscars on Sunday night. I can't well. No,
that isn't cuts a bad answer, That is a wrong answer. No.
The single ratest night in overnight sports talk radio is
just a couple of days away. And this is a
(01:07):
global exclusive, Danny. The content we are providing today, no
one else has it. ESPN doesn't have it, CBS doesn't
have it, NBC nobody has it. We are the only podcast.
Joe Rogan doesn't have it, Adam Carolla doesn't have it.
Nobody in the podcast game has the content we are
(01:29):
about to provide. We paid for the rights, Danny. We
own the naming rights. We are the show of record,
the only pregame show that matters. For the twenty twenty
three Benny's celebrating marginal overnight talk radio in the sports format.
(01:51):
And I'm so excited. This is amazing, Danny. How lucky
are we to be here? I know, I even have
a sponsor card here in my email inby It's brought
to you by Rhodo Router. Dude, Now, do you have
your your gift bag of good east? Do you have
your gift bag of goodies? We've got diapers in the bag.
I look at that. What else is it in there?
(02:12):
A bottle of whiskey? Look at that stick. Yeah, there's
some chap stick in there. That's pretty good. There's a
hair replacement product. Uh, there's a boner pills that's in
there as well. So there's a bottle of urine in here. Well,
Doc Mike made sure he wanted everyone to be welcomed
with open arms. There's a mandolin from Dick and Dayton.
Look at that, a mandolin, Dixter. That's a that's crazy.
(02:37):
This is an amazing goodie bag. What a great goodie craft.
This is a big one. Oh what is that? What
is that? What do you guys? Is that? I think
that is a I believe that's one of blind Scots canes.
I think that's one of his jes right there? Why
is that in there? I thought it was for stickball,
h cow cowboy. And Winter's got some old newspapers he's donating,
(02:59):
so that's exciting. In the goodie bag and what's hollering
James is giving us some old pill bottles from as
many medications that he takes. I'm a doctor. So this
is the pregame for the main event. We've got proper palooza,
the nominees please, and then whatever else we have time for.
(03:23):
Maybe we'll get the pop quiz maybe well, maybe we'll
get the scientific goal. Maybe we won't. But it just depends, right,
depends how much time we have. So we begin with
this though the fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Danny
g Radio. We are all dressed in the night. Danny,
you've got your formal outfit on right there. You're looking
at a solid People can't see you because it's a podcast,
but trust us and we are just a couple of
(03:46):
days away from I got to repeat this the greatest
night in overnight sports talk radio, the twenty twenty three
Benny Awards, celebrating the contributions of men, women and children,
well mostly men from around the globe who have helped
cultivate content. And really these are people that are influences, Danny.
(04:07):
The people that are nominated are influencers. It has been called,
and rightfully so, the single pinnacle event, the seminal event
of the show. And we all come together, we pat
each other on the ass, and we say how great
we are and all that. It is a tradition unlike
any other. As Jim Nance might say, a toe tapping
(04:30):
good time. It's like a trip to the hooting nanny, Danny.
It's like a trip to the hooting nanny. And so
this is the pregame show. Consider this the red carpet galla,
all the glits, all the glamor. You never know what
Felexus is gonna wear, for example, or our friend Mark,
the full name guy in Medford, Oregon. You just don't know.
(04:52):
But we will be mixing, and we will be mingling.
I've never seen Coop in a suit before. I know
he's but look at that. He's got a b all
in his pocket. Though even though he's warning the suit,
he's still got the ball with him. I wish I
could pull off those suits. So that's good to see.
Roberto's wearing a chef's hat for cooking with Roberto, so
he's got that on. Eddie's looking at some old hockey magazine.
(05:14):
I don't know why he's doing that. He's in a
walking boot like Kevin Durant. Though it's a bad job
by him. Shame on him. How about shut up? So anyway, listen,
get to the point. Please. We like gambling on this show.
We knew Benny versus the Penny during football season, so
I thought, why not a proper palooza. Danny and the
(05:36):
Mallard sports Book is open for business. I have put
together with help from consultant's connoisseurs of offshore sports books,
we have put together some prop bets for the twenty
twenty three Bennies. Are you prepared? I did cast my
vote a couple of days ago. Oh really, would you
like to share who you voted for? No? No, no,
(05:58):
that's well, that was gonna be my next point. Okay,
I have more than one Gmail address. Oh my next
vote could be bought. I'm just saying. And you can
send money. You can venmo the money. Is that what
you'd like? You prefer Venmo yes? Yes? Or zell or cash,
just straight cash. There's no paper trail. Great cash, that's right.
(06:21):
So these are prop bets we've come up with for
the twenty twenty three Bennis. Consider this your companion to
the Benny Awards. We have this prop bet will there
be a wardrobe malfunction at the Bennies? Will anyone have
a wardrobe malfunction? Yes? Is plus five thousand, so there's
a less than two percent chance. I think that's a
(06:42):
value play, Danny, because you know, we have we have
some people that are a little loose on the show
that that might win a Benny, right, and and so
be careful on that. And you know, we we could
put together like a Nickelodeon style obstacle cours. Somebody could
get covered in green slime and then they might take
(07:04):
their clothes off. So that's always a possibility. Does seeing
Flexus's toes count? Uh, it's fine because it's only seven toes.
It's like seven and a half toes, So that's perfect.
That that's you know, that's okay, missing two and a
half toes. Here's another profet. How likely is a pie
to be thrown into the face of a nominee yes
(07:25):
is plus two fifty. That's a seventy percent chance or
a thirty percent, But mainly because of furg Dog. Burg
Dog's a clown. I wouldn't put it past furg Dog
to throw a pie in his own face. That guy's
That guy's a knucklehead. Here's a here's another prope that's
pretty good. Which hard luck loser is most likely to
(07:49):
have a hissy fit? Brian bill Brian Billick, that's a
good one. Now, Marcel is a minus two eighty favorite,
ourselves a minus two any favorite. As you know, Danny,
you've been in this game for a long time. You
know how this works, and it's a very emotional event.
Motions run high. Yeah, people really put a lot into this.
(08:13):
It's a big deal. It's a big deal to win
a Benny. And if you get this close and you
don't win, man, is that a kick to the nuts? No.
And I saw a list of snubs on Bleacher Report yesterday.
I was mentioned in the article because I think this
is like doing taxes. Instead of thinking of the actual
year that these Benny Awards are four people, think of
(08:36):
what just happened right now prior to Covino and Rich
who was Coop's fill in guy, the microphone throttler. It
is a travesty, It is an injustice. It is one
of the great miscarriages of justice in the Western world.
Danny g that you were not included in that, and
you are correct, you are. I'm not gonna say that.
(08:57):
There are not a lot of notes that are taken
throughout the years, so people can go back and look
at some of the great moments. But it just seems
that if you've made more of an impact, it's a
little bit of a cheat code for next year's Manies.
If you've made an impact within the last like two
and a half months prior to the Bennies, yea a
competitive advantage. You have a leg up on everyone else.
(09:21):
Like there's people that did great stuff, wonderful stuff on
the show back in May of last year, June April,
and it gets lost in the haze the battlefield, the
fog not of war, Danny, because we're not doing war,
but it's the fog of radio of sports talk radio, right,
(09:44):
and people become prisoners of the moment, right, That's what
always happens here, prisoners of the moment, and so that
is also that's also part of So just back to
that away. As we continue are in debt, team coverage
and more recency bias on this. These are actual prop
(10:05):
bets from the Mallow Sports Book. As we try not
to jump the gun on this, we have I think
one or two more. We have who is most likely
to go woke at the acceptance speech for the winning
the award? Now, this is always a tough one because
we have a lot of hardcore, buttoned up guys. I
would say that Justin and Cincinnati and Jed who fled
(10:28):
obviously they are the long shots. But if Justin gets
all liquored up or smokes too many joints, I could
see that Jed who fled he's one injection away from
going full woke. But I gotta put Plastered Paul from
Rhode Island as the favorite if he were to win. Benny,
because we've already he's like Archie Bunker, which is an
(10:50):
outdated reference Danny, but let's just say he's aging, he's
an old fogy and he has no there's no mute button,
there's no filter. He's unfiltered. He's raw with his commentary.
I also feel like though Justin and Cincinnati, he is
an undercover w NBA fan. I know this about Justin.
(11:14):
He loves the w NBA. Doesn't talk about it a lot,
but he's a huge fan. So if and when he's
on the stage accepting his award, he might say that
the w NBA players deserve equal pay. Yeah. Well, the
other thing about Justin and I don't know, he's probably
not gonna like that. I'm giving this out into the
(11:37):
cosmos here on the podcast. But for years, our man
Justin and Cincinnati has been a huge Meghan Rapino fan
who women's soccer. He actually told me when he was
a kid he loved women's soccer and his entire life.
He's just continued that he really likes the rainbow haircuts.
(11:57):
He thinks that that really just pushed it over the top.
So as we understand it, he's a huge fan of
women's soccer. So that's a that's a great take in
women's basketball too. And people think of Justin as being
like a neanderthal and a caveman and all that stuff.
But no, no, he's a nuanced man that Justin and Cincinnati.
(12:18):
Very complex. Yeah, exactly, He's like a Rubric's cube. It's
not easy to solve. Not easy to solve. So last
prop bet, what will happen if Brian Finley does not win? Now?
Favorite is and he's up for filling of the Year Daddy,
and the I'm looking at the odds here from the
(12:41):
Offshore book, what will happen if Brian Finley doesn't win?
A crowbar attack is plus one fifty, So that's a
forty percent chance that there'll be a crowbar attack dropping
a piano on my head. That is a minus one
seventy five favorite, So that is a sixty three percent chance,
(13:03):
sixty three. So those are some of the odds on
on the Benny some of the props. Now, how about
the nominees. We should go point by point through the
nominees one more time so you can hear all of
the nominees if you have not voted yet, and I'm
tweeting out this podcast, and I will make sure below
(13:25):
the podcast link on my Twitter page and also the
Facebook page, I'll make sure to include a link so
you have another opportunity if you haven't voted yet, and
if you've already voted, as Danny pointed out, just get
another Gmail account. Boom, you can vote again. Now, is
there a way to write in somebody on the ballot? Oh? God, no, no,
come on the dopey, stupid Chiefs ball Award show. It's
(13:49):
wrong with you, Danny? How dare you? There is prestige,
There is absolutely prestige. There's a bit of a clout
that comes with this. You get a street credit in
the malle Militia, which is exciting and all that stuff.
But it's not like you win this and you all
of a sudden you're gonna become a captain of industry
or an aristocrat or anything like that. But there is
no write in ballot. What kind of radio show are
you guys doing? So the nominees. Here we go. Let's
(14:12):
get to the point. It is the nominees and why
they matter. Okay, why they matter? The nominees for the
twenty twenty three Bennies celebrating marginal overnight sports talk radio
in the year twenty twenty two. These are the ones
that stood out and just to be nominated, My god,
what an honor? What in honor. So few people in
(14:35):
the world ever get nominated for the Bennies. And you
think about all of the people that lived, all of
the people that have been part of society and humanity,
and never were they nominated for a Benny. It's just
absolutely studying when you think about all the big name
Babe Ruth never got nominated for a Benny. Lebron James
(14:57):
has not been nominated for a Benny. Tom Brady never
nominated for a Benny. It's craziness. Yeah, Abraham Lincoln never nominated,
George Washington never nominated for a Benny. Vladimir Putin not
nominated for a Benny. I can go on, Ben, congratulations
the nominees please for Rookie Caller of the Year. The
(15:21):
nominees are Andre in Massachusetts aka the Commonwealth, fer Dog
in southern California, Poppy in San Diego, Alameter Lou from
the Bay Area, and Andy the comic book guy in Pasadena.
So I did notice on this category, Danny handicapping the category.
(15:47):
It is very heavy towards California. Yeah, only one of
the candidates on one of the nominees is not from
the Golden State. Andrea and the Commonwealth is on an
island by himself, and he's a polarizing caller too, Danny
g because there's a lot of the guys who tweet
the show are upset with Andre. They don't like him,
(16:10):
they think he's a thief in the night. I don't
know why. It just rubs people the wrong way, I guess.
But you've got furg Dog. I would put furg Dog
as a favorite just because he's so active. I gotta
think Poppy in San Diego. Also because he's called a lot,
he's been part of the show. So I think those
(16:33):
also for worst caller of the year. Yes, yes, that's
the beauty of the show. You can be not only
the rookie of the year, but also the worst caller
on the show. You can wait. Awards says a lot
about your show. How dare you winner? Covino and Rich
doing their awards show? Is that next week? That? All right?
Best game show contestant, that's the Dan Patrick show that
(16:56):
steals your content. I've heard that, but I had no comment.
Best game show contestant, You've got Matt in Phoenix. Now,
this guy's a phoenion, this guy's a prodigy. This mad
in Phoenix. I learned this week on the show, Danny
that Matt, who's twenty five years old, he's been listening
to the show since he was thirteen years old, so
(17:20):
he's been pretty much grown up with you when you
were part of the show and with me, and now
he's fifty seven years old. Now, oh no, no, I've
only been doing radio for like five years, but he's
been he's been listening before I was even on Fox
Sports Radio and amazing run Mad in Phoenix. He was
from Illinois. He lives in Phoenix now going to school.
(17:41):
And this guy is up for Best Game Show Contestant.
Also the man that was part of a cheating scandal,
Justin in Cincinnati. And I gotta tell you, Danny, if
Justin ends up winning, that would be very deflating because
he was part of such a despicable thing on this
(18:05):
show with Eddie Garcia on the Overnight show, to the
idea that he would be rewarded, it would be the
equivalent of the cheating as assholes getting credited with winning
the World Series. But again, it's what have you done
for me lately with these awards? This is not really
(18:25):
the beginning of twenty twenty two that your listeners are
thinking about right now. Yeah, no, is that is accurate,
But that was six months. The suspension was six months.
It carried most of the year. We have Uncle Mo.
Uncle Mo is the sparky Anderson of the Overnight Show.
(18:46):
He sounds like he's in his sixties or seventies, but
he's only in his I believe twenties, and he's like
a trivia savant guy. It's insane the amount of random,
meaningless sports tribua that Uncle Mo has in that brain
(19:06):
of his. It really is. He's one of the nammies.
Who else do we have? We have Mitchell in Ohio
as a gag and Mason the Millennial, So those are
the other two that are there. Mitchell is one of
the funniest people that play these games, but doesn't even
realize that he's funny. Danny, you know what I mean,
(19:27):
Like he says stuff where he's not trying to be funny,
but everyone in the room cracks up and has a
belly laugh at the expense of our friend Mitchell in Ohio.
Those are the best kind of comedians. Yeah, it's it's
a windfall. When he's on the air, it's an absolute windfall.
(19:47):
And he doesn't even realize it. The next category, and
in that category I do have Justin and Uncle mos
Co favorites, but I'm pulling from Uncle Mo. I do
not have a say in this, but I am from
Uncle Mo. Best Instant AdviceLine Caller is the next category.
And people have said the instant Advice line is like
(20:08):
an audition. It's like a tryout for the main main show,
a dummy run, if you will, which is perfect any
because our show has a lot of dummies, right, we
have a lot of dummies on the on the radio show.
So the nominees for Best Instant Advice Line Caller, we
have Whoopee Pie Blair's impersonator where he says it's too
much masturbation the problem here. That's a good one. That's
(20:32):
a solid one. We have. I know it's you, Roberto guy,
yeah with his creepy serial killer voice, Fudgie Como from
Boston who does the funny fudgie voice, Sean the Hood
guy who's been very prolific at the Instant AdviceLine, and
Angry Bill speaking of dummies, Well, he's just a nut
(20:55):
from Nutley, New Jersey. What about a nine year old girl? Yeah, yeah,
that's the guy. And in this category this is too
tough to call. I I would give an edge to
the Whoopie Pie impersonator, But Fudgie this is his this
is his wheelhouse here, Fudgie, this is his special special thing.
(21:17):
So I would say Whoopie Pie impersonator or Fudgie. And
I haven't seen the number, so I don't know who's
who's leading, and I don't I purposely did not look
at the numbers because I want to go into this
and to give my opinion as we go through this.
Oh I did at thirty Now I'm just kidding, all right.
Next up another very competitive category, Best Lame Joke Writer,
(21:42):
Best Lame Joke Writer. Ooh, this is competitive. Yeah, this
is a tough category. This is another difficult category because
there's so many people that are just wonderful at sending
jokes and they've improved the show. They've made the show
more enjoyable, they've upgraded the content. So I do think
(22:03):
everyone that sends jokes in, even the people that aren't
funny who send the jokes in. But the nominees for
Best Lame Joke Rider of the Year, we have Gordon
in Tacoma, Gordon's been with the show a long time
as a joke rider. Usually sends two jokes a week
in and they're both pretty good. Normally they both make
the air. Ozzy Momentum, who is a sporadic joke rider,
(22:27):
but when he jokes very funny. Surfer Todd, the comedian
he's been in studio. We love Surfer Todd and he's
a volume joke guy. He normally sends four or five
jokes a week to the show. Anthony and Anaheim, who
is sporadic. He's one of the nominees. Gary from Youngstown,
Ohio another prolific joke rider. Gary's sent a lot of
(22:50):
jokes over the last year, although not recently. He got
upset with me at the end of last year when
I missed some joke days and so he stopped sending
jokes in for now, but I'm sure he'll be back.
Georgie and Rochester, Minnesota. George normally sends just one joke
a week in and it typically does get on the air.
Kurt from Earth is another volume joke sender, very funny guy. Normally,
(23:16):
a lot of his stuff doesn't make the air because
it's offensive and it goes right to Cooper Loop and
then he ignores it. Justin in DC, Justin and Washington,
d C. I, for my money, dollar for dollar is
by far and away the very top of the line
(23:36):
when you whittle these things down, He's at the very
top of a prototypical joke rider. He is the quintessential
joke rider at this point. This guy Danny, he will
send in and I'm not exaggerating here, fifteen to twenty
jokes a week, fifteen to twenty jokes a week, and
they're all great. He loves the show. He listens every
(24:00):
night to the show and the podcast, and so he
writes jokes about people that call. He's he facilitates comedy.
Gold is what he does. Then we've got Mason and
Huntington Beach, another very funny man, and Chip in Maine.
Chip in Maine as well. Also Chip usually sends one
(24:21):
or two jokes in, just like Mason in Huntington Beach.
But those guys are very amusing, very funny, So we
thank all of them for sending jokes. This category, I'm
gonna give a lean towards Surfer Todd the comedian because
he's well known in this world, well known in this
(24:42):
world and to me, Justin and DC is neck and
neck with Surfer Todd and Gordon and Tacoma and Kurt
from Earth. It's a it's really a bottleneck in this division.
So there is that. And Danny, you have still been
part of the jokes. People do still jokes about you
from this podcast. You'll be happy to know. Nice. Yeah,
(25:04):
I hope they're racist jokes racist. Those are the ones
that don't get on the air anymore, but they are.
They're very offensive jokes. Roberto. It's funny bring up that
because Roberto asked for racist jokes, you wanted to read
them on the air, and we got a bunch of them,
but they were so racist we couldn't read them on
the air. Oh, those necros looking, I don't know what
(25:29):
you're talking about that. I have no idea. Next category
is the best Mallaris song, Best Mallor song. We have
Hey Brittany from mister PC That is song number one.
Number two is in the Name of Bean from Just
Josh and Jay Scoop and song number three nominee number
(25:54):
three from Ohio al comfortably ben of a tough category.
They're all chart toppers. Yeah, they're all really good. They're
all really good. I'm gonna give the gambling edge based
on name brand values. You know, a lot of winning election,
(26:14):
Danny is people being aware of who you are, right,
you have to have a high Q score. So I
want to go just Josh and Jay Scoop as the
favorite on that with their YouTube parody, their YouTube parody.
But you can't go wrong with mister pc Ohio. All
these guys are all all great. Next category of the
nominees for best crew fill in on the Bennies And
(26:37):
I'm looking page down here. As you said that, Danny,
I do not see you here. I see a bunch
of deadbeats, but I don't see you here. Well, you
got promoted though, you're a big time now, You're you're
you're a big deal. You're a mucket band. I know
my roots, and you gotta stay with your roots now.
You don't want to stay with us parasites on the overnight.
You've moved on. You're you're a big daytime guy, evening gay.
(26:59):
But I moved on at the very end of twenty
twenty two. That means all those other ten months I
put in all those long overnight hours filling in for Coop.
Anytime he had a hangnail. Yeah, so how about it,
Why don't you and Coop you can flip we'll do
like a reverso and like one day a month, you'll
do the Overnight show and Coop will do Covino and
(27:20):
rich Pool. Problem solved. There you go. They would love that.
Would Coop be there though for their pre show meeting?
Oh yeah. Let me tell you one thing Coop does
as long as it's like sixty seconds before the show,
he will be right there as long as it's it's
just sixty seconds before they And he doesn't need a
lot of meeting He's not a meeting guy. Dany I
don't even know. Coop does not believe in a lot
of meetings. He likes to let the show happen organically.
(27:43):
It's what he likes to do, you know. Anyway, we
have Brian no a long time fill in for me.
I will Iowa Sam, who fills in for Roberto. Yep,
we're all fans of Iowa Sam. Kevin Wyret, the new
guy is a saddle bad guy. We called him. We
call him Sparty. All I know is he did a
(28:05):
paper on you when he was in school. Yes, yes, uh,
we have Brian Finley. I don't know who that is.
Bernie Fratto. We love Bernie, Bernie from Vegas. Yeah, Moncy
Belanos and Brandon True. Brandon's the Padre Yankee fan who's
(28:28):
got the high pitched voice and it is a good
sport about it. Yeah. I like Brandon. Brandon's a good guy.
So this category eny meany money, mo. I think this
is pretty lopsided, Danny, because we got a lot of
a lot of guys on the on the audience that
vote for these things that might be thinking with some
(28:49):
other things. Uh, I knew you were a Finley fanatic. Well,
Brian is a sex symbol. I think he's got this
in the bag. I would be shocked. This would be
one of the great upsets of all time. This would
be Team USA beating If that's a good that's a
good point because there are so many thirsty Mallord militia members. Yeah,
(29:13):
if you hear any female's voice all over me, they
stand to attention immediately, as if they've never heard of
female talk before in their entire life. Oh yeah, and
a female that knows sports, Oh my god, that's daily
double Danny. Well, she kind of knows sports well, she's learning,
(29:33):
but no, I'm kidding. So congratulations to all those nominees.
We have wasted Caller of the Year. Got Joey and Nashville.
This guy's got a cartoon. Who's that cartoon dog? Huckleberry Hound?
I think that was the name before My Time for
(29:53):
my Time too. I watched the replace, But Joey and
Nashville sounds like that guy. We've got Plastered Paul and
Rhode Island, the black irishman from Omaha, Nebraska Racist and
Jed who Fled And those are all the nominees for
Wasting Call of the Year. Jed who Fled and Plastered
(30:14):
Paul have to be the co favorites in this. Jed's
been completely hammered for years and plastered Paul breakout star
over the last year or so, a Drop of the Year,
Drop of the Year. The nominees are Marcel and Brooklyn's
Big Padaca Duke or whatever he said the coupe with
Wow Wow, and I'm on there. I've got several nominees.
(30:39):
I've got Booby Yeah. Also he blew me off at
a hotel near lax that's on there. And that's my
personal favorite. Oh that was taken out of context, and
I personally happened to me, but it's my favorite. He
blew me off at a hotel near La X. Yeah,
(31:00):
I love the Taliban is also on there, which is
again out of context. I was doing a news story
and I'm coming out of the closet from hollering James.
So that is a nominee. I got a great chance
to win. If I do not win, I will be annoyed. Yeah,
you have the Taliban on your side, you should win this. No,
(31:21):
I got a fifty percent chance. There are the only
other nominees other than me are Marcel Coop and hollering James.
And I'm coming out of the closet one from hollering
James is hilarious. It's absolutely hilarious, all right. Next up,
Female Caller of the Year. The nominees are Andrea, the
astrologer known as Virgo and Service or some people call
(31:41):
her the witch Lady. We love her spin cycle, Regina
Tammy in Montana and Rachel in Montabello. Are those are
the nominees for Female call of the Year and all. Yes,
you know I'm a I'm a woman, hear me raw? Right,
So this is tough because Tammy is beloved in the
(32:04):
Matta militia, but she doesn't call as much. She hasn't
really been calling that much. Spin Pycho Regina also loved,
but she doesn't call that much anymore. Nito's Rachel I
would say Andrew has got an edge because she's put
the work in. She's she's made the call, she stayed
on hold, she's she's done what has to be done
(32:25):
to get on the air. But again, it's not about
the past three months, it's about the prior year. So
we're any of them more active back then? Well, Spinsycho
Regina was pretty active at the beginning of twenty twenty two,
so she was there and we had the great bit
where Doc Mike and her gig. I don't want to
(32:47):
say they hooked up, but right, yeah, they got together
a little bit. I don't know what happened. They don't
kiss and tell. That was some good radio. It sounded
like Regina was scared for her life. But anyway, the
twenty twenty two beer Drinking Brian worst caller of the year,
the worst call year. It has been said Danny that
(33:09):
this is the most competitive category that we have and
all of these people super villains in the Mallard Militia.
You could have put about one hundred contestants in this category.
A lot of Dick Dastardly's in here right, a lot
of a lot of that, a lot of blockheads. We
love you, you're our blockheads, the Cobra commanders of the
(33:31):
Mallar Militia, the bad guys. We've got Poppy in San Diego,
O huge favorite, Andre in the Commonwealth from Massachusetts, hollering,
James Sir scratch Off from Arkansas, Paul in Rhode Island,
and Marcel in Brooklyn. What I have no idea which
(33:53):
direction this is going to go. A lot of people
rip Andre, so I would say he's getting a lot
of hate. Marcel gets a lot of hate also, So
do those guys end up winning or is it a
poppy win? Like why this could go any direction? Thin
line between love and hate with Marcel. Yeah, there's some
(34:15):
really funny things that Marcel says, and then there's things
we chastise him about and it's like hell fire and
damnation from him. Yeah, so you are, you're right on
that art last category we'll get out on this. The
twenty twenty two Genie and Medford memorial Caller of the
(34:36):
Year Genie. We miss you, Genie all time great and unfortunately,
once you left the show, Danny, a lot of those
Genie drops kind of went away because Roberto was not
around for when Gennie was in her heyday. So he
lives on through the Fifth Hour because her voice and
laugh is heard on just about every Fifth Hour podcast. Yeah,
(34:59):
Genie in Medford, if you did not have the good
fortune of being around on the show when Genie would
call up, Genie is an all time goat. There is
no way you can besmirch her name. One of my
favorite stories in radio the fact that she got arrested
for calling nine one one. She was just she was
just a lonely woman by herself. She wanted someone to
(35:21):
talk to, and so she called the radio station, called
the police station, rather got arrested, and the police felt
pity on her, and they said, why don't you just
find you listen to the radio, call a radio show.
They'll they'll her up all night. And she did, and
she happened to find our show and it was wonderful
and we're so grateful. Genie in Medford, who is memorialized
(35:44):
at a park in Los Angeles, right right near Dodger Stadium.
There is a Swan Boat Park in Los Angeles. And
some of the money that listeners sent in to help
pay for the cremation of Gene in Medford, her burial
and whatnot, some of the money that was left over
we were able to purchase a plaque on a bench
(36:09):
in this beautiful park with the skyline of La on
one side, and just a wonderful tribute to Genie and Medford,
which I don't think has been vandalized yet. I don't.
It's right near the playground at the park, at the
Swan Boat Boat Park if you're ever in La. I
visited it, Ben. It's beautiful, but there was a homeless
(36:30):
encampment right next to it. Yeah yeah, I went to
check it out once it was installed, and my wife
was so afraid of the environment that she stayed in
the car with the doors locked holding mace, that she
was so concerned about what was going on. Come on,
I know, come on you, yeah, I gotta live a
(36:53):
little bit, right, Danny, Come on? Got a murder anyway,
So Marcel and Brooklyn Jed who fled up for Call
of the Year. Whoopee Pie Blair who's won this award
in the past, Blind Scott from Boston. And you've got
Cowboy and Windsor and Dick in Dayton Boy, all good choices.
(37:15):
I've got Cowboy and Windsor and Dick and Dayton is
co favorites, a couple of long time blue bloods, been
around forever, They've not won this honor. So I've been
Afetime Achievement Award. Well, we had Dick and Dayton who
called up the other day. And Dick's really he's a
wonderful caller because he doesn't even realize what he's saying
(37:35):
when the calls he's made over the last couple of
years were Dick and Dayton's Like, I'd asked him about it.
What are the what are the Cleveland Indians have to do?
That was what they used to be called. What are
the Cleveland's that Indians have to do? He says, Well, Ben,
I think if they get some pitching, some offense and
some defense, they'll be all right. You know. It's just
just just great. Anyway, Congratulations to all the nominees and
(37:59):
good to all of you, and we'll see what happens
on Sunday night. It is must listen radio. If you
do not get to hear it live, you can always
go back and hear the podcast, but it's much better live.
And thank you all all the nominees that we're part
of this. And if you want to be part of
the show going forward, you just gotta be active. You
(38:21):
gotta be proactive. You gotta put the work in, you
gotta put the effort in, and you two can win
the most coveted honor in all of overnight sports talk radio,
a Benny. I heard that the Oscars are so threatened
by the Bennies that they sent a letter to our
boss Scott and asked that you move it by a week.
(38:42):
No cannot do it, No cannot do it. Screw them.
This is much more popular. We are much bigger than
the outdated and equated awards. Show that Hollywood is all right.
We'll get out on that. Anything you want to promote
Danny on this wonderful Friday. It is Friday morning right now.
That means you're done on the air. I'm not. I'll
be in there this afternoon at two pm with Covino
(39:05):
and Rich. It's not Friday the thirteenth. Is Friday, the tenth,
Today the tenth day of March. Have a wonderful rest
of your day. We got another big podcast on Saturday,
and then wait a minute, Danny another one on Sunday.
Unbelievable three again three will be in the can soon.
There you go, all right, we'll talk to you tomorrow.
(39:26):
Tomorrow is another day. Have a great rest of your
day today Later skater bo Felician
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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