May 31, 2026 • 52 mins
Step right up for a wild ride through the audio funhouse as Ben Maller fires up another Sunday edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast! Fan favorite Robbie the Mariners Fan jumps back into the ring for a loaded Mail Bag packed with bizarre, hilarious, and thought-provoking listener questions from across the Maller Militia universe. The fellas bob and weave through debates about UAPs, San Antonio nuns, chicken nuggets on rollercoasters, talking dogs, baseball legend Sparky Anderson, the mysterious Blue Octopus, cone heads, classic video game nostalgia with Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, mini pigs, and much more. It’s the perfect blend of sports, pop culture, absurdity, and off-the-wall storytelling that has made the Fifth Hour a cult favorite.
All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT! Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
In the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's the clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me Ben
Maller on a Sunday mail bag kind of a day.
It is the thirty first day of May, the final
edition of the Fifth Hour podcast for the month of May.
We flip the calendar later on and we'll be back
tonight on the radio, and we'll be on right into
(00:51):
June and without further ado though. Let's welcome in now.
We we have to have Ohio al get us in
the mood and then we'll be good to go. So
Ohio now one of the stars of the great Newport,
Kentucky slash Cincinnati meet and greet. Get me in the mood. Ohio. Ow.
It's all right man. With that, we promoted this all weekend.
(01:26):
We're going heavyweight again. The first regular to reappear on
the mail Bag podcast. You know him, you love him?
Robbie the Murder Fan.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Hey, what's up Ben?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Hello Robbie. Any opening thoughts for Robbie, anything you want
to share with the class here.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Well, I was thinking back in the SINCEI meetup. It
is kind of funny that, as far as we know,
the first time Dick and Dayton ever left the Sovereign
sty of Ohio was to go to a Cincinnati meetup,
which happened to be in Newport, Kentucky. So that's kind
of ironic in a way.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And I am honored. Dixon has been around a long time.
I'm pretty confident the way he's reacted that was one
of the top five days in Dick and Dayton's life.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah. Yeah, it was Friday when the called it was it?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, it was Friday. Yeah I think so.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah. Yeah, he still talked about it, like, not as
creepy as the way hollering James talks about when he
met you, but it's the same effects, you know, one
of the great nights of their life.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, I'm flattered that that is the way that they
look at it. As you said, with with hollering James,
who I don't think has any idea what a podcast is,
so there's no chance, no, there's no chance of him
ever hearing this. Yeah, when James calls up, it's like, well,
you know that that was good. You remember when you
came over to my table and you got to come back?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, the only reason I went to his table, Robbie,
is because he couldn't leave the table. He was like
wedged in the table.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
So, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I had to go over to see him and listen.
I had fun. James a good guy and we love
James and all that. Anyway, all right with that, And
people have been emailing me saying, well, when's the next meeting, Robbie.
I did the Ohio one with you in Queen Rox
and Justin and then like two weeks later I was
in Boston and I had to do three in a
(03:16):
row with my Leprechaun. I need several months to recover, Yeah,
I am. I am not the most social individual. I
need some time to get my mojo back before I
go back and do another meet. But we will do
some towards the end of the summer. I don't think
anything's gonna happen in June, maybe July, late July and
August will do something, but nothing now.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So yeah, I can't imagine you. I can't imagine me
doing all those meet and greets because even when I
was looking forward to Cincinnati one, but even I kind
of had to, you know, hight myself up the day
of because it's just traveling there and then meeting all
these people you've never met before. It's it was anxiety
inducing it for me. Even at first, I imagine three
days in Boston that right after since he meet up,
(04:00):
you must have been exhausted.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Well no, well I want to it was not that,
But then I had the leperkn It was only supposed
to be two days. The WU Sox game got rained out, yeah, Saturday,
so it was gonna be Friday and Saturday, Okay, back
to back. No, because then he threw in on Sunday
because it was nice. The WU Socks, the Triple A
team of the Red Sox, invited us back out, so
I got to throw out the first pitch, which was great.
(04:23):
I had a lot of fun doing that. But then
I had to hang out with my buddy the Leprechaun,
and then there were some other fans of the show
that were there, which was cool. It was great to
meet them, and it was just awkward for me because
I was like, I figured, Okay, I get through Saturday.
We're good and and then I went and I had
to socialize more in New York because we drove down
to visit my brothers. So anyway, now I'm complaining. I feel
(04:43):
like I'm complaining, but a little bit. Let's get to
the mailbag. The first one up is Barry from Bluffed
in South Carolina. I guess that's right next to Charleston.
I don't think he's moved yet. He says, yo yo
yo ma Benny or yo yo ma Ben. It seems
like Mike the Leprechaun and Blind Scott have become more unhinged.
(05:05):
Uh you think, how do you see your radio relationship
with these two eventually ending? Will it be like real
talk or something else? There you go, And he also says,
ps is it me or does two percent chance sound
like Patrick Mahomes? Yeah, well that was the call on.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I like that nickname though. Two percent Chances? Yeah yeah, yeah,
that's not bad. So I think we're on. I wanted
to say we were on good terms with Blind Scott
and then he went whack a doodle on Fridays.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
He's sent me over two hundred and fifty DMS in
the last two days and I've never replied to you a
deal with him in my entire life.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well, I blocked him, and I think he still sends
me email, but I blocked him after I think it
was the seventy seventh death threat that he sent me.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Oh geez, well, I haven't gotten any knows that I've seen.
So the thing is he sent so many messages there
could be death threats in there that I just blazed over.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, what he'll do. And he realized
that I stopped opening his email, so he just put
what he really wanted to say in the headline on
the which I got to give him credit. Yeah that's
pretty smart. I mean, he knew, he knew that he
just has nothing, nothing going on. But I told the
story on the podcast. But when he we were outside
(06:27):
the bakery in Boston and he came walking down the
street and it was like it was like Willy Wonka
at the chocolate factory, that scene with the cobble street
and all that. Yeah, it was pretty wild. So yeah, Scott,
I would say that's going to end poorly, although I
hope not. I'm optimistic. I've known Scott a long time.
(06:48):
I knew him he still had a little vision, you know,
and it's been you know, followed him obviously, he's been
through a lot of bull crap in life and hopefully
being settled down for him and Mike the Leprechaun. He's
so over the top. I don't, I don't. I really
have no idea how these things are going to end.
Hopefully they'll be around for a long time and no
one's gonna do anything whack a doodle and all that.
(07:10):
So anyway, moving on from that, Rob the goat Man, right, Oh,
have you ever met the goat Man? Have you?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
No, that's gotta be on the I would be shocked
if within like the next two years, I haven't met him.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But where does he I don't even know where he lives.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
He lived in des Moines, like the outskirts des Moines,
so yeah, and I do have remnants of like distant
family that live in Iowa, so I could I might
go see him sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What does he work or it just like harasses you online?
Is that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
His job is a great mystery to everyone that knows him.
He won't tell us. He just says it's he can't
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So wouldn't that be funny if he's like the mayor
of the town or something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Yeah, that, or he's like a CIA agent or something.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd be surprised. I've had some
interesting people that have reached out to me. Says, you know,
I don't want to talk about what I do for
a living, but in they're like some high ranking.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah I could see that.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah rather uh anyway, Rob, he says, hey, Ben, goat man.
Here there have been there has hasn't been a good
time during sports radio talk to get your thoughts on
the age of disclosure with UAP, yeah and other phenomena.
I personally have seen many things in my life that
(08:37):
have blown my mind and changed the way I look
at life in the world, things from up in the
sky and things that have come out of the water.
I'd love to hear your opinion more in depth, as
well as you explain to your grossly obese mill back
that these things are real.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
We so we text a lot and we've gone back
and forth on this whole age disclosure, and my whole
view on it is that it's much more likely they
come from the sea than the sky. But either way,
don't hit me up until I see bodies. I need
HD photos the bodies and then I'll believe it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
So I haven't read all of the UAP stuff. I've
seen some of the headlines. We have some email that
we'll get to later on from people who ask questions
about some of that stuff. I think we talked about
it last time you were on the pod, Robbie Berner Fan.
I do think most of these come from the ocean.
I'm not naive to think that they might come from
outer space and then land in the ocean. Most of
(09:41):
the planet is ocean like. That's you know, we're a
very small percentage of land. It's mostly just water. So
if you're from the outside looking down, whatever kind of
goblin you are, you'd see mostly water and so that's,
you know, that's where you would hide out. And there's
a lot of the ocean that hasn't not most of it,
but a lot of it hasn't been explored, and some
(10:04):
of it can never be explored with technology we have
because it's so far down and the crevices at the
very bottom. I mean, you can't he can't even get
to it. So, uh, I did You'll get a kick
out of as robbish, so and and so maybe the
goat man I was. I was texting a buddy and
I was really into this, like this is like he's
doesn't even listen to my show The Coast to Coast George,
(10:26):
noriy Goblins. The whole thing. And his theory is that
the stuffed animals and the movies about aliens were actually
even though they were tossed out as you know fiction
and all that, it's actually those are the real aliens.
Like e T was a real alien. They you know,
it's based that it was actually based on a true story.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And then and then so who knows.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
You know, Yeah, isn't there something called like predictive programming
and something that like the government's in with the c I,
the government's in with Hollywood and they put these movies
out to kind of ease the transition for when the
aliens eventually are confirmed, where you're like, well, we've seen
these movies for all these decades, so you know what
I mean. It's yeah, yeah, that's shocking I.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Guess, well, wouldn't it be amazing if they like, by
the way, here you know, here we are, and it's
like that at the White House, President Trump and on
one side he's got et on the other side of
you know, every alien movie, you know whatever, you they're
all lined up. By the way, these are all documentaries,
even though they were presented as well, you know, in
movies that were just for whatever anyway, all right, but
(11:33):
it is fascinating, Yes, almost as fascinating as your abuse.
If my guy, Robbie the Marinder fan, every night you
knew not miss an opportunity, Marcus in San Antonio writes
in he says, dear big men and Robbie the Marinder Fan,
I know the mail bag is not meant to be
a sporty podcast, but you know what that means, Robbie.
(11:54):
But due to the playoff run the Spurs have been on,
I found myself watching more basketball in the last four
weeks than I have in the last four years. Now,
since you watch the games so most of us don't
have to, he says. I'm sure. Marcus says that you've
you've seen the San Antonio Nuns representing San Antonio last
(12:17):
couple of games at home. This has brought a lot
of attention to their nonprofit organization, which I consider a
good thing. My question is, does Ben Mahlor represent or
support any organizations your listeners could donate to. That's from
Marcus in San Antonio. So this is the part Robbie
where I go on my rant. You want to do
(12:41):
it for me, Robbie, go ahead, do it.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
You know I was. I don't want to steal the
words out of your mouth, but I definitely agree with them.
I would say to the mount Cherries that actually, don't
just use all that money for overhead is very low
and you don't really know what you're donating to the
stand up. I don't some of those MLB charities, like
(13:03):
when they auction off stuff for breast cancer, it's for awareness,
not the actual cancer research. And it's just kind of
you even you don't even know how much of that
so called awareness money's actually going to the awareness charities.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's a whole yeah, yeah, yeah, And my I was
raised of the mindset that charity should be seen but
not heard. I had to I have over the years.
We we used to do a contest on the show
where we'd say, hey, it's the Super Bowls a month
away or two weeks away. Let's come up with some
prop bets. And then there was a contest one of
(13:37):
the offshore books had and we actually won, and they donated,
you know, a couple hundred dollars or was like five
hundred dollars each time to to charity. And then we
got to pick the charity. And I've ranted about this
because I did spend a lot of time my mom.
I lost my mom to cancer. My dad had all
kinds of crap happened to him through his life, so
and cancer has affected my family a ton. So I
(13:59):
tried to find, as you were referencing, Robbie, uh, the
charities that actually give the highest percentage actual research, because
I'm pretty sure most of us are aware of cancer. Yes,
Lance Armstrong, that little weasel, Lance Armstrong, his charity. I
remember reading about that back in the dance. I remember it.
(14:21):
You know, he was he got tons of those. Remember
I don't if you you're younger much young to me, Robbie,
But they had those little wristband things.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I was six years old, I had one. I remember that.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I was all in the Yeah, yeah, I mean it
was you felt really good wearing those old yellow risks.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Until you found out he was the world's biggest douchebag.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Well, yeah, until you found out he was. It was
so Lance could have his you know, third private plane exactly.
And anyway, so yeah, I just say you should obviously
donate the charity. I was just raised not to really
promote that because and you can blame my parents for this.
They're not around, so they won't really really fight back.
But you know, if you give anonymously uh, guarantees that
(15:01):
your motives are not are purely altruistic and you're you're
not trying to do it just to get attention, you know. Yeah,
I don't know if I should say that. There's a guy,
uh that used to play for the Dodgers that has
some problems, right, and so the Dodgers keep him on
the payroll every.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Year, you know what. I saw an article about this guy.
I don't know if you want to say his name, but.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I know, yeah Andrew Tolls, yep, and uh, you
know he he was kind of a fringe major league
guy and he's had a lot of problems mental, mental
health wise, and I totally love that the Dodgers do this.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I would appreciate if they'd maybe skip a year without
sending out a press release to the media. Let everyone know,
you know, just you know, just me though, that's just me.
I I see it, and I just roll my eyes. Robbie,
I'm like, come on, now, you know, you know, it's
nice that you're doing this, but I feel like every
year you send out the same release or you give
the old Lincoln a nod to the beat writers. Let's
(16:00):
put that in the the article.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
It's like, come on, it does seem like this time
every year, when there's a slow news day it gets
sent out.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yes, oh yeah, it's a good good timing and they
always get everyone just like, that's wonderful, that's great, you know,
and it's very humble of you to do that. I'm like, well,
that's not really anyway. Alf the Alien Opiner. I met Alf,
Robbie the Great Alf. What a cool one.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I'm jealous that that was. Yeah. I want to meet
him some day. I don't know if I will. That's
very far away from Oregon the box, but yeah, that
must have been fun.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, great. I met him and his wife and and
it's great because Alf's just like me and you. We're
all a bunch of introverts. And so there we are
hanging out and Alf has not missed a show in years,
and even when I filled in, I used to do
fill in stuff and he'd always find out when and
he'd be there and it was really cool, cool meeting
(16:55):
him and whatnot. Anyway, Alf from the tattoo parlor says, Ben,
I need your help. I'm trying to talk Ferg Dog
off the ledge here. He's hell bent on getting a
full blown Ben Maler show tramp stamp, and I'm telling
him that he should get a face tattoo. What say you?
(17:17):
I'm good, you know, I'm good on the tattoo thing.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, I don't. I think the only person that hasn't
gone completely off the deep end that has a face
tattoo was probably posting alone. And even he's kind of
out there, so you know.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, well no, no, Rob Robbie. Alf says that that
that Ferg Dog is going to get a tramp stamp
of my face right on the lower back.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
That, well, yeah, that what is worth? Just put Ben
Mallard logo on the face or a tramp stamp of
your face on? Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Know, and you know when I was a kid, Robbie,
the goal was to have like a beautiful woman get
my name tattooed. Not I'm just saying anyway, all right,
I'm man. Oh this is also mouth. He sent this
story here. I want to get our thoughts on this.
A man who tried to pull off a stunt where
he ate chicken nuggets. This is in Ohio at Cedar Point,
(18:11):
that famous there. Yeah, yeah, you've been there. So this guy,
I guess he's a YouTuber and he ate McDonald's nuggets
on the roller coaster to go viral and at work.
He was able to eat seven of the ten nuggets
while on the coaster and then ended up getting banned
(18:32):
for life from six Flags. Yeah yeah, they interviewed him.
He said, I had no idea that eating a ten
piece chicken nugget on a road would be a national headline.
But here we are. That's a good line. Alan Ferrell
is his name. So I didn't I haven't seen the video.
(18:55):
There's a link. I guess I can click on it
and watch it. And so this is like, at what
point do you become a YouTuber? Anybody, I'm a YouTuber.
We're all YouTubers like, yeah, it's just back in the
old days when I was a kid, you know, Robbie,
it was like, hey, let's here's somebody trying to get attention.
But now it's YouTuber. You know, a YouTuber does so
(19:16):
and so and all that. Reggie from Detroit. By the way, Reggie,
you said that no women would call, and the very
last minute that young lady from Connecticut called up and
your face Reggie on Newbie Night anyway, Ben, He says,
would you want to hear what Moxie has to say?
(19:36):
And he sent me a story here, Reggie of a
company out of China. They claim they have invented an
AI caller that can translate your pets barks with ninety
five percent accuracy. That's the story. This is out of
the Daily Mail in London. So take that for I
(19:58):
love the Daily Mail. I it's a lot of it's fiction. Yeah,
you know, yeah, yeah, so Reggie, the way I would
answer this, this is hilarious. So this is one of
to me and in my opinion, you can't sue me, Robbie.
From my opinion, right, no one can sue you for
your opinion, at least for now. So this sounds to
(20:20):
me like one of the great scamps, because how would
anyone I could say, your dog's just wipe your ass?
Who's gonna say no? You know, I mean, there's no
way to confirm or not that whatever. You could literally
say anything that your dog, what your dog meant?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
And yeah, how's anyone gonna push back on it? What
a hustle? This is next level? And of course everyone
that I love Moxie, I hang out with Moxie more
than anybody because Moxie's like just lazy and laysing my
lap on it. However, like you know, it's like, yeah,
you want to hear what they have to say, but
there's no way to know. We don't know that any
(20:57):
studies have been done to try to decipher bar or
purrs from cats or whatever. So that's good, though, I
wonder how much they're charging for that. It's called petty
Chat pe Tti chat. They say it uses advanced AI
deliver ninety four point six percent real time translation accuracy.
(21:21):
You can trust my fat iss all right, thank you, Reggie.
I'm going to pass on that. Drew from Boston writes
in he says Boston adjacent. He says, have you ever
seen any mysterious silver spheres in the sky? And I
guess this is another one of those UFO stories. Here
new evidence of a secret invasion by these mysterious silver
(21:44):
thingma jigs in the sky. I did years ago, way
before drones. I was I don't want to say hiking.
I was more walking than hiking in the woods around
La and I did see some black speeds objects. It
was very odd and they were they were high in
(22:05):
the sky, but not that high in this guy and
they were kind of floating around and they didn't make
any noise. It was it wasn't drones because there were
no drones yet, and I don't know what those were.
That that's the weirdest thing that I've one. I don't
say the weirdest. I've seen some other weird stuff, but
that that's the one I remember right now. So yeah,
I guess with the previous conversation Robbie with the goat man,
(22:28):
you have not seen any anything that would lead me.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I mean one I thought I saw or but then
I found out like six months later that one of
our neighbors had gotten fined for flying drones around. So
I'm going to chalk that up to that. Though. My
dad he grew up and anchored Alaska and he's in
his sixties, so that was back with Alaska was like
still the last Frontier, you know what I mean. And
he claims he doesn't know what he saw, but he
(22:54):
to this days kind of still freaked out when he
tries to describe what he saw as a kid in
the woods when he was hiking when he shouldn't have been,
like late at night. And yeah, so there's that story.
I guess there you go.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Kwang from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam guaranteed human rights in
He wanted me to share a story that I teased
on the original recipe version of the radio show. And
he said, you mentioned you didn't have enough time to
wax loquacious on it. Could you do it here on
the podcast? So and could you please tell the story now,
(23:31):
along with a complete rundown of your nicknames? So he wants,
he wants all. That's a lot. That's a big request.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
From It's like a Costco order sized email right there.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, well it is a podcast. So the story
that I didn't have time to tell back when I
covered the Dodgers on a regular basis, and I went
to the games literally every day for about fifteen years
twenty years. I didn't miss a Dodger game at home anyway,
and I went to a lot of road game so
I was around. Of course, they ever won like they
are now they were when I was around the team
(24:06):
I got. I used to get to the ballpark like
two thirty three o'clock in the afternoon. I got there early. Wait,
the game started seven to thirty back then, so i'd
get there real early. And I went to Dodger Stadium
or like in normal and got into the media entrance
in the parking lot. You had to drive all the
way around the parking lot. They were playing the Angels,
(24:27):
and it was one of the early years of Interleague
Baseball and driving, and I get stuck. There's like this
one lane road you got to take in the afternoon.
They closed the other lane all the way around to
get to where you need to go to get into
the stadium. So I'm behind this car that is just
driving about as slow the speed limit. I don't I
(24:49):
don't even know what the speed limit is at Dodger Stadium.
Generally speaking, though, back in those days, there's no radar guns,
and the stadium's not really even open when you're allowed in,
so you can drive as fast as you want. And
this person was driving it must have been like twenty
miles an hour and I couldn't get around him. So
I'm getting pissed off, you know. I'm I'm like, this
(25:10):
is really annoying me. I'm wasting my time here. This
is the stadium's empty, there's no one there, and I'm trying.
I tried to get around the guy, and the guy
kind of leaned in a little bit and kind of
blocked me. And I'm getting I'm getting angrier, and I'm
getting worked up to the ladder and We're going along
and I finally got a spot I could get around
(25:31):
this guy. And I look over and I'm gonna give
him the bird. Robbie. I'm like, I'm pitching. And I
look over and it is, hand to God, Sparky Anderson,
the old manager of the He had done some he
was doing some broadcasting for the Angels, and Sparky I
couldn't believe it. I was like, I was like, I
(25:52):
was getting I had road rage at Sparky Anderson, who's
a baseball legend. I don't know if the people today
know who he is because he's been gone for a while.
But he's one of those guys too. And I said
this when I was a kid and he was managing
like the he managed the Reds, the big Red machine
of the seventies and they managed the Hikers. And Sparky's
one of those guys that looked really old when he
(26:14):
was like forty. Yeah, and so it's one of those
cool things. Well it's it's it's a double edged sword
because it's it's bad and it's good. It's bad that
you aged really old, and you look amazingly old at forty. However,
then it's like you stopped aging, you know, like the
rest of life, you're just the old guy. But you've
(26:35):
been the old guy for a long time and so
you don't really look like you've aged at all. So
that's my that's my Sparky Anderson story. I had a
road rage with Sparky Anderson, and I didn't actually give
him the bird because I saw I recognize it's hard
not to recognize him. I did a very distinctive look
to him. And there's some great Sparky Anderson quotes that
(26:56):
he gave over the years. I've always been fair with
the FN writers and all those things. As far as
the nicknames, I know, Robbie, you love the nicknames. I
have been called, among other things, the Spinmaster of misinformation,
the banning Broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs, Benny Bingo, Curmudgeon
of commentary, Chasm of sarcasm, the Tzar of Zany, the
dark Knight of weak night sports radio, the Mogul of mischief, Benny,
(27:17):
the Brazen King of zing, money ball Maller Benny, the Bopper,
Facetius Fox, Sultan of insulting, the Shaman of schodenfreude, sensitive sniffer,
jumping Jack of wisecrack, in Sight of overnight medicine, Man
Mallard Naybob of negativity, Sage of outrage, the Pinnacle of cynical,
(27:39):
Prince of preposterous, Professor of propaganda, Hazar of hyperbole, the
floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad Hatter
of sports chatter. And that's only part of my nicknames, Robby,
you know that there's more. But wait, there's more. I
have been called the Bear. There will be a quiz
on this. I have been called the bear in the balderdash,
(28:01):
Big gall bladder. BENI is the Menace, Benny beat Down,
Captain knee Jerk, Duke of the north Woods, General of Degenerates,
Tycoon of T's, Master of Disaster, the Hustler of Philipbuster,
night Light of night Life, Pummeler of Producers, Benny bright Side,
Manatee of Insanity, Marconi Maller, Moneyline, Mallard, Masshole, Malarrested Piece,
(28:25):
mass Whole, Mickey, Emissary of Embellishment, Weeknight, Windbag, Wizard of Wacky,
Slayer of Naysayer's Grand Goober of gab All, the Dark
of Dark, Tower of Babylon, Honest Adonis. It's almost done,
I promise. Senator of Sarcasm, Nocturnal Colonel, the Underdog of Monologue,
and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. So those
(28:48):
are my nicknames, and now I'm gonna take a nap.
Yeah that's uh.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
My top three. If I would be Pinnacles, Ccle, Nocturnal Colonel,
and the Slippery Oh jeez, now I'm.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, no, it's it's the Holy Pope of the Slippery.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Yeah, there we go. But we had a cat that
would always just only be up at night, so wea
one of his nicknames is Colonel after the Nocturnal Colonel
of your show.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
So oh nice, that's cool, like Beethoven of BS. I
think it's just just outstanding.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
That is a good one, pretty good.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Combining classic music and the bull crap that we do here.
Thank you Kwang Hunter from parts on No Rights, and
he says Ben the betting favorite has emerged to be
the cover be the cover boy of Madden NFL twenty seven,
and it is Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams is the favorite.
(29:51):
Would you support Caleb Hunter? What do I care?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I mean, what am I supposed to do? Isn't there
still the Matt who was on the who was on
cover last year was the Eagles guy? Uh? Yeah, yeah,
and they didn't do so well, right.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Sweet cover with the old the retro Eagles union. But no, yeah,
he just had an average year. I don't think he
got a catastrophic injury, So I guess that's a win
for him considering some of the years people have been
on the Matten cover.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
But yeah, no, I'm sure we'll talk about it when
they announce it. The Caleb Williams thing, and so fine,
I I'm not the biggest Caleb Williams fan. I'm sure
Robbie probably loves Caleb Williams.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
No, I don't, Oh, you don't, okay, I was a
Jade Daniels fan going into that draft.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
So can you give him your legs? He might need
your legs? Yeah, I know, not going so well there
for for your guy looking like RG three to two
point zero.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
There, he hasn't had any act well, no, he probably
has actually yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
All right. Uh, next one is from Kyle, and Kyle
did not this two in a row. They don't sign
there where they're from. Is it that hard? Is it hard,
Robbie to put the city you're from or even make
it up? How am I going to know?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
I just make it up for you pick.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
A different city every week for as far as so
much as I care. I care anyway, says uh benh
When will a school be called the blue octopus is
their mascot? And he's he sent me the store here,
says A single octopus collected nearly a mile deep near
the Galapagos Islands has been identified as a new species,
(31:36):
and I'm not going to even try to pronounce the
name of it. However, this is very small enough small
to fit in the palm of your hand. And it
is vivid blue. It's a blue octopus. And uh yeah,
I think we have enough teams called the Wildcats and
the Bulldogs, and I love Bulldogs. But we have enough teams.
Why not change it up. I think every team Robbie
(31:57):
should have a unique nickname.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah, Or if we can't get a team named octopus,
why not an mm A fighter have their nickname because
it seems like every other MMA fighter's nickname is pitbull
and that's gotten really cliched too. As the UFC fan,
every other dude's name is pitbull. So why would you like, uh,
you know, octopus or something.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Well, I just realized why you would, Yeah, octopus because
if you shorten that's all right. Uh. On that note,
(32:39):
Steve in Texas, that's a big state, Steve. Uh he
writes it, he says, Ben, Ben and Robbie. Uh does
this prove that Barry Bonds, Roger Clemons and Sammy Soshi
should be in all of fame? And I guess they
had the h what is this thing called the Steroid
Olympics or whatever they're calling.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, so they had these games where athletes could take
as many drugs and steroids as they want. And it
turns out that the people who organized it said they
were gonna get all kinds of world records and all
this stuff, and dozens of athletes head to head and
there were some athletes that I guess were not on stereois.
I didn't watch any of this. There were some athletes
not on sterogy, and I guess several of the events
(33:22):
were won by people that did not use steroids.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Yeah, I heard. I heard it was the giant to
baffle and like only one world record was broken and
they were predicting like all these records would fall and.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
A well, and anyway, I see. My point has always been,
I was if you had listened to me back in
those years. We used to have this guy Seth Everett,
who was like a big baseball you know, insider at MLB,
and he'd always call up and rant and rave and
they drive me nuts because I always ripped the steroid guys.
These guys weasels. Never I'm never getting all of him.
None of these guys are getting Hall of Fame. And
(33:55):
I have done a one eighty on that as I've
gotten older, because I've seen guys who I am nice
percent sure did steroids who are in the Hall of Fame.
And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm almost one hundred
percent sure that this guy did sterois. He's in the
Hall of Fame. And that guy did Sterois, he's in
the Hall of Fame. But we can't put Bonds in.
And Bonds was a dick. I spent a lot of
time that Giants played the Dodgers three times a year
(34:16):
when I was covering the Dodgers, and I spent a
lot of time waiting for Barry Bonds. And there were
times he would say, Hey, I'll be right back, and
I'd be waiting there for forty minutes, and he never
came back. He snuck out the back of the visiting
clubhouse at Dodgers name. So it's not like I'm a
Barry Bonds fan. He was a dick. He should be
in the Hall of Fame, and Clemens and Sosa and
Maguire and like all those guys should be in in
(34:37):
the Hall of Fame. And so it doesn't matter what
happened at the Peed Olympics and all that. It doesn't
really move the needle for me. So anyway, I haven't
heard too much. I guess the big steroid story this
year is Fernando to tease, Who's.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, I agree with part of what you said on
your monologue. He's hitting the balls hard, but it doesn't
really matter how hard you hit the ball if it's
straight to the ground. But I don't know who knows
what to believe with the analytics.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, like people, it's like a religion.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
The analytics.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Yeah, that's true, Like you can't go against the religion.
It's like that guy plays for the Giants. What he's
bounced around. When I'm thinking of the guy's name, he's
a like a three hundred hitter every year, slap hitter.
Oh Luise rise yeah, Rise yeah rise guy, so Luisa Rise.
Like people, people who are married to analytics and it's
the rich religion. They're like, oh my god, this is
like this guy sucks because of the analytics. And I'm like, Okay,
(35:36):
he doesn't hit the ball hard, he doesn't have great
exit velo, he's batting three hundred. You know there's a
place for a guy like that in the major leagues.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
No, yeah, you're right. If this was the seventies, he
would have generational waltz by now, like not saying he doesn't,
but like, what did he sign like a one year
five we know our contract with the Giants. That's he
would just if you put today's payment like today finances
in nineteen seventies baseball, he would have like a salary
quintuple that.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah, because yeah, for sure, I mean there was a
guy Rod Carew didn't have a lot of power. It's
kind of a slap of course he had like three
thousand hits or whatever, but still he is a great
power guy and he made a decent amount of money.
L L. Hudson from Utah Rights and says, Ben, do
you have you think this SNL skit was based on
(36:28):
a true story? And then he sent me a link
says new DNA analysis of mysterious conehead mummies fuels alien
origin theories. So this is kind of tied into what
we talked about earlier. Yeah, there was a famous skit
before you Were Alive, Robbie on Saturday Night Live. There
was this guy named dan Ackroyd and they played the
(36:50):
Coneheads and it's on YouTube. So I guess that kind
of goes back to what we were talking about, Like,
what if my buddy, one of my friends is convinced
that like all these alien movies, they're all based on
real aliens and they just connected it together and all that.
So if that were the case, if that was the
way you want to go, then yeah, they're real.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Cone Yeah, that's the one thing that would still be
erth show. I don't think people would freak out if
the president just came out, So, yeah, aliens are real.
The one thing that would still be earth shattering is
if it was like's if aliens date back to the
beginnings of time and that they're somehow involved in our
growth as a spec sas you know what I mean.
So that would yeah, that would if.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
There were the puppets and they're the puppet masters, that.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Kind of yeah, because that would kind of tear it
the fibers of a lot of religions and that would
cause a little bit of a headache. Would we have
to run?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Would we have to run and get toilet paper and
bottle of water? Again?
Speaker 3 (37:48):
What is of all things toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Always with the Yeah, So the way it is out
back John and Joanna in southern California, I gotta go
visit John. He's he's at the outback there and he's
got the I gotta get the Bloomin Onion. I'll go
in the Bloomin Onion hang out. We'll talk some ball,
he says. Hey, big Ben and Robbie the Marinder fan,
he says, or special guests. Sorry for the back to
(38:14):
back to back to back to back to back to back.
I'm just gonna use this one. Out Back, John, he says,
I heard you talking the other day about Mike Tyson's
punch Out game on the old school Nintendo. I cannot
tell you how many hours or days I spent playing
that game. I never got past Macho Man and only
got to him a few times because I could barely
(38:35):
beat Sandman. I believe the code to go straight to
Tyson was zero zero seven three seven three five nine
sixty three got the outback, John remembered it. Johanne's probably
rolling her eyes, this loser I'm married to. Anyway, I
punched that code in more times than Roger Goodell said.
There were people at the NFL Draft, but um bump,
(38:58):
I got smoked every time. So our question is, did
you ever beat Mike Tyson in the video game? As
I remember, out Back John, I also had the code.
I think everyone had the code when around my age,
and I did beat Mike Tyson. And the thing that
pissed me off I was alone. We didn't have cell
phone cameras in those days because it was the Stone age,
(39:19):
so I have no way of verifying. And it pissed
me off because every time there were people in the
house where I would, you know, you bring your mom in,
Hey mom, I you know, it's like proud mommy, your
my mom be so proud of you. You know, not
that you got straight a's, you made a good living
for yourself. No, no, you beat Mike Tyson. That's what matters.
And the one time that I did is I remember
(39:39):
I was alone at home, and I didn't get a
photo of the thing, So that sucked. Let's see here
junior super fan Caleb eleven years old. Eleven, he's in
the minor league system. He's in the pipeline, he said,
Dad Dominic sent this and he took a picture a
(40:00):
letter written by Caleb, so hello Caleb. He emailed to
bust my chops, Robbie. He wanted to bust my chops
and my terrible NBA predictions regarding the Knickerbockers and the
Cavaliers and He also this is great. I love this, Caleb.
You're firing me up here. He ripped me for ripping
(40:20):
Karl Anthony Towns. And he says he wants another mallor
meet and greet in Minnesota. I love Minnesota. I'd love
to come back. It's expensive to travel these places anyway.
He also he sent a joke about weed Man, which
is pretty good. I'll have to save that for Are
you allowed to listen to lame jokes? Anyway? Very funny.
(40:44):
He's glad you liked the show there, Caleb. He also drew,
I can't show you this, Robbie, because you know it's audio.
Caleb's eleven years old. He drew a cartoon of me
and I've got my glasses on my hat and I'm
talking into a microphone and this is let me tell
you something, Caleb. This should be hanging at the Louver.
(41:06):
You don't even know what the Louver is, probably because
you're eleven, But tell you ask your dad. I'll ask
your you know some your your relatives there. The Louve
is this very famous art museum in Perie, or the
Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, somewhere like that.
That's that's all. That's awesome. So thank you, Caleb. I'm
glad that you're eleven and already busting my chops. That
means a lot.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
The next generation will be all right, I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
We got to have the pipeline, Robbie, right, we got
to have the next wave of sports radio.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Just make sure you end up being a good not
a suspects, you know exactly?
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Well, yah, yeah, Pray prospect is a suspect until Yeah,
that's from Dusty Baker, Adam from Malibou. How about that,
bougie Maliboo, How you're doing it? Says Ben? Did you
ever eat at fud Ruckers? I was a huge fan.
I saw this story in the New York Post this
week and I was sad. And the story in the
(41:58):
Post this week said that fud Rutgers at one point
in the nineteen eighties they had five hundred locations and
now they're down to forty four. They're calling it a
blockbuster of the burger world, although there's only like one
blockbus Isn't is that still open in organ? Isn't There
wasn't there a blockbuster video an organ today close?
Speaker 3 (42:18):
There was one left and Bend I don't know if
it's still is open or not.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
So have you ever been there? Did you ever know?
Speaker 3 (42:24):
That's about two hours away? I think, Okay, there used
to be one in my town, but there wasn't every town.
So yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
You're like, you're not of the age where like blockbusters
don't really mean that much to you, right because you're younger.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
So, I mean, there was a time we're going to
get a movie for the weekend was a big deal.
So I guess the tail end of the glory days
of a rental stores.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
So yeah, it was always frustrating because you'd go to Blockbuster.
Everyone made this mad dash on Friday to get the
hot movie. You didn't get there early enough, you know,
it's just a complete waste of time. And then some
people would leave the boxes on the shelf because remember
the whole thing had they had the boxes and you
had to take it up to the front. Oh yeah,
Sometimes they'd be empty and you'd be like, what the hell,
(43:12):
what is up with that? La la la la? All right?
Next up is Tim from Parts Unknown. He says, Ben,
are you excited that Vladimir Putin is going to create immortality?
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Oh? I heard about this Okay, yeah, so you know this.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
So the headline on this story Putin investing and the
Russians are investing twenty six billion dollars in longevity, and
among the things here, twenty six billion dollars state funded
anti aging longevity program. I feel like this should be
a bipartisan issue. Robbie shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yeah, although I don't think he wants everyone to live forever,
just tim Ah, You're.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Probably not wrong. Among the items, the Kremlin is working
on three D bioprinting of organs and tissues, growing human
organs in genetically modified mini pigs, extreme cryotherapy, gene therapy
to slow down aging, and the goal of full human
(44:18):
organ replacement capability by twenty thirty. And Putin's daughter is
the one running this program for the Russians. So uh yeah,
it's it's one of those weird things, like I don't
even know it's that weird. I think we're designed to
only live a certain period of time and we want
(44:40):
to live forever. If everyone else is not able to
come with you on the ride, you know, it's a weird.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Well, even that one like influencer guy who claims he
wants to live forever when they asked him, do you
really think you can live forever? And I think his
last names like Johnson or something. He's like, well, I
I qualify living forever as like two hundre fifty years,
so that's not forever anyway. It's like there's a I
don't think no matter how like we would have to
become fully what cyborg to live forever because eventually the
(45:10):
skin's going to decay. I just I don't see any
I mean, yeah, though Putin has talked about it before
he got caught in that hot mic in China talking
to z GM peak about how he might need a
some of his prisoners to donate stuff to him.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So yeah, well, imagine what that's gonna look like, though
it was conceivable you could you could have you know,
a new heart growing in a little mini pig. Oh
your your left knee can be from a cow somewhere
or something like that. Imagine what that's gonna look like though,
after you know, one hundred and thirty years or forty
years and you got all these new parts in you end,
(45:46):
you know, just like you.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Like Richard Nixon's brains yarn Future Round maybe or something.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Hey, but Ted Williams could come back and save the
Red Sox.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Exactly, they need a hitter. So who knows?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Come on, Teddy, come back. Mark, and Florida writes in
he says, Ben, what good would the apocalypse detector do
to the common man? And then he sent me this story, Robbie.
There's a new website that is tracking all of the billionaires,
the robber barons of society. The website they're claiming the
(46:22):
goal is a apocalypse early warning system, and they claim
that the richest people in society will know when there's
going to be some kind of apocalyptic like nuclear war
or something like that, and that they'll all leave wherever
they are and then that'll be a sign for the
rest of society. Okay, there's going to be some kind
(46:45):
of cataclysmic event or something like that. But I agree
with this guy, Mark, even if you knew that, like,
what are you going to do? You don't have a
private plane.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Yeah, and even the rich people, like, if it's a
big enough nuclear cataclysmic event, then the whole nuclear winner
thing goes in a play. And there's a certain point
doesn't matter how rich you are, if you're screwed. If
you're screwed, like if just a big enough cataclysmic event.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
But yeah, exactly one from so Cal writes in on
the mailbag, Thank you one. He says, Ben, what's your
take on the Pope's Holy War with AI?
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, yeah, So I actually didn't see this. I just
reading he Samuel clip like a paragraph of it says
the backlash is growing the Catholic Church and the Pope
coming out against artificial intelligence. Yeah. I look at this
(47:43):
stuff like pretty much everything in moderation, even moderation, as
the line goes, in moderation. So it's it's not perfect,
and it's it's kind of like replay in sports. Do
you have to get everything perfect? Does everything have to
be right?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (48:01):
At what point does it not work for society? And
there's that point where you cross the rubicon and you're like, like,
what are we doing here? You know? So I it's
gonna be very interesting in the next few years to
see how this all. Yeah, and I feel bad. A
lot of people gonna lose their jobs, people that want,
(48:22):
you know, spent their lives, getting educating, getting trained at skills,
and they're gonna lose their job. And I understand things changed.
At one point people made their living with horses, and
then I'm now there's cars, and then uh, you know,
at one point, even in my lifetime, we had we
had typewriters, and computers were like these giant things. And
now everyone's got a computer in their phone. And so
(48:44):
I understand that part of it. It just and and
and also you've got a factor in a lot of
these stories about doom and gloom are not one hundred
percent accurate. For example, there was a story Ray Ray
or ray or Ray or whatever his name is he
sent where Dominoes had partnered with a robotics company to
(49:06):
streamline their pizza like an AI company. And this AI company,
which actually is in Seattle, is startup. They raised a
bunch of venture capital and they now have shut down
and they had domino So it's not always going to
be perfect. It's not all.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
And you also got to think of all the when
people are saying, oh, this this is going to replace
people they're talking to these companies because companies here like,
oh that's a good thing. But the people that are
talking like selling it are the people that own stakes
in these AI companies. They're trying to hype it up.
So who knows if the kind of the top end
predictions will even come true on that way.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
So well yeah, and also you got a factor in,
like a society's got to decide, you know, do you
want to hear like my business in broadcasting. Do you
want to have a human being on the other side
or do you not care if it's just a computer?
(50:06):
And you have to decide. I'm a little concerned because
we've already seen this. I think we might have talked
about this. I know I've talked about it on the podcast.
I don't know if you were here or not. Robbie,
where there's people that have made very curvaceous fake women
on AI and they they've made money on Instagram and
(50:27):
TikTok and things like that, and so there's obviously some
horn dogs that are just sending their money in for
you know, fake women. At least give it to real women,
you know, I mean, come on, boys, what are you doing?
So that stuff's a little scary that they don't really care,
although that's like adult content. So we'll get out. We've
(50:50):
been gone way long, but so much fun. Amazing yet again,
the man, the myth, the legend, Robbie the Mariner fan,
You're so good at this, Robbie, it's crazy. You want
to promote anything. You have a podcast you do, right,
you want to promote that?
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah, Sunday mornings right in early nine thirty am Eastern
United States of Australia. It's a live YouTube show, that's
about it.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
What time is it for your buddy in Australia.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Oh, it's it's like eleven pm at night, ten pm
a night.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
Okay, all right?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
So I think he gets a riend of it than
I do because I have to be up at like
I usually wake up at five am to kind of
make sure it go over my He does like half
the show of like his content, and I do have
to show my content, and so I want to be
prepared and everything. And yeah, it's Sunday mornings are rough,
but I'm not complaining.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
So does it? Do you just stay up all night?
I know you're a socialite there in Oregon, Robbie. Do
you just.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
I try to get a little bit of sleep, but
it's it's hard.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I got you all right on that note, I will
be back tonight and no days off, no scheduled days
off this week from the radio show, so I will
be there every single night bloviating this week and we'll
catch you then have a great rest of your Sunday.
And it was wonderful Robbie, thank you so much, and
(52:12):
we'll talk to you as Dick and Date would say
bye bye. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Felation.
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
In the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's the clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me Ben
Maller on a Sunday mail bag kind of a day.
It is the thirty first day of May, the final
edition of the Fifth Hour podcast for the month of May.
We flip the calendar later on and we'll be back
tonight on the radio, and we'll be on right into
(00:51):
June and without further ado though. Let's welcome in now.
We we have to have Ohio al get us in
the mood and then we'll be good to go. So
Ohio now one of the stars of the great Newport,
Kentucky slash Cincinnati meet and greet. Get me in the mood. Ohio. Ow.
It's all right man. With that, we promoted this all weekend.
(01:26):
We're going heavyweight again. The first regular to reappear on
the mail Bag podcast. You know him, you love him?
Robbie the Murder Fan.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Hey, what's up Ben?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Hello Robbie. Any opening thoughts for Robbie, anything you want
to share with the class here.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Well, I was thinking back in the SINCEI meetup. It
is kind of funny that, as far as we know,
the first time Dick and Dayton ever left the Sovereign
sty of Ohio was to go to a Cincinnati meetup,
which happened to be in Newport, Kentucky. So that's kind
of ironic in a way.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And I am honored. Dixon has been around a long time.
I'm pretty confident the way he's reacted that was one
of the top five days in Dick and Dayton's life.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah. Yeah, it was Friday when the called it was it?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, it was Friday. Yeah I think so.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah. Yeah, he still talked about it, like, not as
creepy as the way hollering James talks about when he
met you, but it's the same effects, you know, one
of the great nights of their life.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, I'm flattered that that is the way that they
look at it. As you said, with with hollering James,
who I don't think has any idea what a podcast is,
so there's no chance, no, there's no chance of him
ever hearing this. Yeah, when James calls up, it's like, well,
you know that that was good. You remember when you
came over to my table and you got to come back?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
You know that.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, the only reason I went to his table, Robbie,
is because he couldn't leave the table. He was like
wedged in the table.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
So, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I had to go over to see him and listen.
I had fun. James a good guy and we love
James and all that. Anyway, all right with that, And
people have been emailing me saying, well, when's the next meeting, Robbie.
I did the Ohio one with you in Queen Rox
and Justin and then like two weeks later I was
in Boston and I had to do three in a
(03:16):
row with my Leprechaun. I need several months to recover, Yeah,
I am. I am not the most social individual. I
need some time to get my mojo back before I
go back and do another meet. But we will do
some towards the end of the summer. I don't think
anything's gonna happen in June, maybe July, late July and
August will do something, but nothing now.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So yeah, I can't imagine you. I can't imagine me
doing all those meet and greets because even when I
was looking forward to Cincinnati one, but even I kind
of had to, you know, hight myself up the day
of because it's just traveling there and then meeting all
these people you've never met before. It's it was anxiety
inducing it for me. Even at first, I imagine three
days in Boston that right after since he meet up,
(04:00):
you must have been exhausted.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Well no, well I want to it was not that,
But then I had the leperkn It was only supposed
to be two days. The WU Sox game got rained out, yeah, Saturday,
so it was gonna be Friday and Saturday, Okay, back
to back. No, because then he threw in on Sunday
because it was nice. The WU Socks, the Triple A
team of the Red Sox, invited us back out, so
I got to throw out the first pitch, which was great.
(04:23):
I had a lot of fun doing that. But then
I had to hang out with my buddy the Leprechaun,
and then there were some other fans of the show
that were there, which was cool. It was great to
meet them, and it was just awkward for me because
I was like, I figured, Okay, I get through Saturday.
We're good and and then I went and I had
to socialize more in New York because we drove down
to visit my brothers. So anyway, now I'm complaining. I feel
(04:43):
like I'm complaining, but a little bit. Let's get to
the mailbag. The first one up is Barry from Bluffed
in South Carolina. I guess that's right next to Charleston.
I don't think he's moved yet. He says, yo yo
yo ma Benny or yo yo ma Ben. It seems
like Mike the Leprechaun and Blind Scott have become more unhinged.
(05:05):
Uh you think, how do you see your radio relationship
with these two eventually ending? Will it be like real
talk or something else? There you go, And he also says,
ps is it me or does two percent chance sound
like Patrick Mahomes? Yeah, well that was the call on.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I like that nickname though. Two percent Chances? Yeah yeah, yeah,
that's not bad. So I think we're on. I wanted
to say we were on good terms with Blind Scott
and then he went whack a doodle on Fridays.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
He's sent me over two hundred and fifty DMS in
the last two days and I've never replied to you a
deal with him in my entire life.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well, I blocked him, and I think he still sends
me email, but I blocked him after I think it
was the seventy seventh death threat that he sent me.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Oh geez, well, I haven't gotten any knows that I've seen.
So the thing is he sent so many messages there
could be death threats in there that I just blazed over.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, what he'll do. And he realized
that I stopped opening his email, so he just put
what he really wanted to say in the headline on
the which I got to give him credit. Yeah that's
pretty smart. I mean, he knew, he knew that he
just has nothing, nothing going on. But I told the
story on the podcast. But when he we were outside
(06:27):
the bakery in Boston and he came walking down the
street and it was like it was like Willy Wonka
at the chocolate factory, that scene with the cobble street
and all that. Yeah, it was pretty wild. So yeah, Scott,
I would say that's going to end poorly, although I
hope not. I'm optimistic. I've known Scott a long time.
(06:48):
I knew him he still had a little vision, you know,
and it's been you know, followed him obviously, he's been
through a lot of bull crap in life and hopefully
being settled down for him and Mike the Leprechaun. He's
so over the top. I don't, I don't. I really
have no idea how these things are going to end.
Hopefully they'll be around for a long time and no
one's gonna do anything whack a doodle and all that.
(07:10):
So anyway, moving on from that, Rob the goat Man, right, Oh,
have you ever met the goat Man? Have you?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
No, that's gotta be on the I would be shocked
if within like the next two years, I haven't met him.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But where does he I don't even know where he lives.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
He lived in des Moines, like the outskirts des Moines,
so yeah, and I do have remnants of like distant
family that live in Iowa, so I could I might
go see him sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What does he work or it just like harasses you online?
Is that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
His job is a great mystery to everyone that knows him.
He won't tell us. He just says it's he can't
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So wouldn't that be funny if he's like the mayor
of the town or something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Yeah, that, or he's like a CIA agent or something.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd be surprised. I've had some
interesting people that have reached out to me. Says, you know,
I don't want to talk about what I do for
a living, but in they're like some high ranking.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah I could see that.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah rather uh anyway, Rob, he says, hey, Ben, goat man.
Here there have been there has hasn't been a good
time during sports radio talk to get your thoughts on
the age of disclosure with UAP, yeah and other phenomena.
I personally have seen many things in my life that
(08:37):
have blown my mind and changed the way I look
at life in the world, things from up in the
sky and things that have come out of the water.
I'd love to hear your opinion more in depth, as
well as you explain to your grossly obese mill back
that these things are real.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
We so we text a lot and we've gone back
and forth on this whole age disclosure, and my whole
view on it is that it's much more likely they
come from the sea than the sky. But either way,
don't hit me up until I see bodies. I need
HD photos the bodies and then I'll believe it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
So I haven't read all of the UAP stuff. I've
seen some of the headlines. We have some email that
we'll get to later on from people who ask questions
about some of that stuff. I think we talked about
it last time you were on the pod, Robbie Berner Fan.
I do think most of these come from the ocean.
I'm not naive to think that they might come from
outer space and then land in the ocean. Most of
(09:41):
the planet is ocean like. That's you know, we're a
very small percentage of land. It's mostly just water. So
if you're from the outside looking down, whatever kind of
goblin you are, you'd see mostly water and so that's,
you know, that's where you would hide out. And there's
a lot of the ocean that hasn't not most of it,
but a lot of it hasn't been explored, and some
(10:04):
of it can never be explored with technology we have
because it's so far down and the crevices at the
very bottom. I mean, you can't he can't even get
to it. So, uh, I did You'll get a kick
out of as robbish, so and and so maybe the
goat man I was. I was texting a buddy and
I was really into this, like this is like he's
doesn't even listen to my show The Coast to Coast George,
(10:26):
noriy Goblins. The whole thing. And his theory is that
the stuffed animals and the movies about aliens were actually
even though they were tossed out as you know fiction
and all that, it's actually those are the real aliens.
Like e T was a real alien. They you know,
it's based that it was actually based on a true story.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And then and then so who knows.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
You know, Yeah, isn't there something called like predictive programming
and something that like the government's in with the c I,
the government's in with Hollywood and they put these movies
out to kind of ease the transition for when the
aliens eventually are confirmed, where you're like, well, we've seen
these movies for all these decades, so you know what
I mean. It's yeah, yeah, that's shocking I.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Guess, well, wouldn't it be amazing if they like, by
the way, here you know, here we are, and it's
like that at the White House, President Trump and on
one side he's got et on the other side of
you know, every alien movie, you know whatever, you they're
all lined up. By the way, these are all documentaries,
even though they were presented as well, you know, in
movies that were just for whatever anyway, all right, but
(11:33):
it is fascinating, Yes, almost as fascinating as your abuse.
If my guy, Robbie the Marinder fan, every night you
knew not miss an opportunity, Marcus in San Antonio writes
in he says, dear big men and Robbie the Marinder Fan,
I know the mail bag is not meant to be
a sporty podcast, but you know what that means, Robbie.
(11:54):
But due to the playoff run the Spurs have been on,
I found myself watching more basketball in the last four
weeks than I have in the last four years. Now,
since you watch the games so most of us don't
have to, he says. I'm sure. Marcus says that you've
you've seen the San Antonio Nuns representing San Antonio last
(12:17):
couple of games at home. This has brought a lot
of attention to their nonprofit organization, which I consider a
good thing. My question is, does Ben Mahlor represent or
support any organizations your listeners could donate to. That's from
Marcus in San Antonio. So this is the part Robbie
where I go on my rant. You want to do
(12:41):
it for me, Robbie, go ahead, do it.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
You know I was. I don't want to steal the
words out of your mouth, but I definitely agree with them.
I would say to the mount Cherries that actually, don't
just use all that money for overhead is very low
and you don't really know what you're donating to the
stand up. I don't some of those MLB charities, like
(13:03):
when they auction off stuff for breast cancer, it's for awareness,
not the actual cancer research. And it's just kind of
you even you don't even know how much of that
so called awareness money's actually going to the awareness charities.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's a whole yeah, yeah, yeah, And my I was
raised of the mindset that charity should be seen but
not heard. I had to I have over the years.
We we used to do a contest on the show
where we'd say, hey, it's the Super Bowls a month
away or two weeks away. Let's come up with some
prop bets. And then there was a contest one of
(13:37):
the offshore books had and we actually won, and they donated,
you know, a couple hundred dollars or was like five
hundred dollars each time to to charity. And then we
got to pick the charity. And I've ranted about this
because I did spend a lot of time my mom.
I lost my mom to cancer. My dad had all
kinds of crap happened to him through his life, so
and cancer has affected my family a ton. So I
(13:59):
tried to find, as you were referencing, Robbie, uh, the
charities that actually give the highest percentage actual research, because
I'm pretty sure most of us are aware of cancer. Yes,
Lance Armstrong, that little weasel, Lance Armstrong, his charity. I
remember reading about that back in the dance. I remember it.
(14:21):
You know, he was he got tons of those. Remember
I don't if you you're younger much young to me, Robbie,
But they had those little wristband things.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I was six years old, I had one. I remember that.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I was all in the Yeah, yeah, I mean it
was you felt really good wearing those old yellow risks.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Until you found out he was the world's biggest douchebag.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Well, yeah, until you found out he was. It was
so Lance could have his you know, third private plane exactly.
And anyway, so yeah, I just say you should obviously
donate the charity. I was just raised not to really
promote that because and you can blame my parents for this.
They're not around, so they won't really really fight back.
But you know, if you give anonymously uh, guarantees that
(15:01):
your motives are not are purely altruistic and you're you're
not trying to do it just to get attention, you know. Yeah,
I don't know if I should say that. There's a guy,
uh that used to play for the Dodgers that has
some problems, right, and so the Dodgers keep him on
the payroll every.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Year, you know what. I saw an article about this guy.
I don't know if you want to say his name, but.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I know, yeah Andrew Tolls, yep, and uh, you
know he he was kind of a fringe major league
guy and he's had a lot of problems mental, mental
health wise, and I totally love that the Dodgers do this.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I would appreciate if they'd maybe skip a year without
sending out a press release to the media. Let everyone know,
you know, just you know, just me though, that's just me.
I I see it, and I just roll my eyes. Robbie,
I'm like, come on, now, you know, you know, it's
nice that you're doing this, but I feel like every
year you send out the same release or you give
the old Lincoln a nod to the beat writers. Let's
(16:00):
put that in the the article.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
It's like, come on, it does seem like this time
every year, when there's a slow news day it gets
sent out.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yes, oh yeah, it's a good good timing and they
always get everyone just like, that's wonderful, that's great, you know,
and it's very humble of you to do that. I'm like, well,
that's not really anyway. Alf the Alien Opiner. I met Alf,
Robbie the Great Alf. What a cool one.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I'm jealous that that was. Yeah. I want to meet
him some day. I don't know if I will. That's
very far away from Oregon the box, but yeah, that
must have been fun.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, great. I met him and his wife and and
it's great because Alf's just like me and you. We're
all a bunch of introverts. And so there we are
hanging out and Alf has not missed a show in years,
and even when I filled in, I used to do
fill in stuff and he'd always find out when and
he'd be there and it was really cool, cool meeting
(16:55):
him and whatnot. Anyway, Alf from the tattoo parlor says, Ben,
I need your help. I'm trying to talk Ferg Dog
off the ledge here. He's hell bent on getting a
full blown Ben Maler show tramp stamp, and I'm telling
him that he should get a face tattoo. What say you?
(17:17):
I'm good, you know, I'm good on the tattoo thing.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, I don't. I think the only person that hasn't
gone completely off the deep end that has a face
tattoo was probably posting alone. And even he's kind of
out there, so you know.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, well no, no, Rob Robbie. Alf says that that
that Ferg Dog is going to get a tramp stamp
of my face right on the lower back.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
That, well, yeah, that what is worth? Just put Ben
Mallard logo on the face or a tramp stamp of
your face on? Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Know, and you know when I was a kid, Robbie,
the goal was to have like a beautiful woman get
my name tattooed. Not I'm just saying anyway, all right,
I'm man. Oh this is also mouth. He sent this
story here. I want to get our thoughts on this.
A man who tried to pull off a stunt where
he ate chicken nuggets. This is in Ohio at Cedar Point,
(18:11):
that famous there. Yeah, yeah, you've been there. So this guy,
I guess he's a YouTuber and he ate McDonald's nuggets
on the roller coaster to go viral and at work.
He was able to eat seven of the ten nuggets
while on the coaster and then ended up getting banned
(18:32):
for life from six Flags. Yeah yeah, they interviewed him.
He said, I had no idea that eating a ten
piece chicken nugget on a road would be a national headline.
But here we are. That's a good line. Alan Ferrell
is his name. So I didn't I haven't seen the video.
(18:55):
There's a link. I guess I can click on it
and watch it. And so this is like, at what
point do you become a YouTuber? Anybody, I'm a YouTuber.
We're all YouTubers like, yeah, it's just back in the
old days when I was a kid, you know, Robbie,
it was like, hey, let's here's somebody trying to get attention.
But now it's YouTuber. You know, a YouTuber does so
(19:16):
and so and all that. Reggie from Detroit. By the way, Reggie,
you said that no women would call, and the very
last minute that young lady from Connecticut called up and
your face Reggie on Newbie Night anyway, Ben, He says,
would you want to hear what Moxie has to say?
(19:36):
And he sent me a story here, Reggie of a
company out of China. They claim they have invented an
AI caller that can translate your pets barks with ninety
five percent accuracy. That's the story. This is out of
the Daily Mail in London. So take that for I
(19:58):
love the Daily Mail. I it's a lot of it's fiction. Yeah,
you know, yeah, yeah, so Reggie, the way I would
answer this, this is hilarious. So this is one of
to me and in my opinion, you can't sue me, Robbie.
From my opinion, right, no one can sue you for
your opinion, at least for now. So this sounds to
(20:20):
me like one of the great scamps, because how would
anyone I could say, your dog's just wipe your ass?
Who's gonna say no? You know, I mean, there's no
way to confirm or not that whatever. You could literally
say anything that your dog, what your dog meant?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
And yeah, how's anyone gonna push back on it? What
a hustle? This is next level? And of course everyone
that I love Moxie, I hang out with Moxie more
than anybody because Moxie's like just lazy and laysing my
lap on it. However, like you know, it's like, yeah,
you want to hear what they have to say, but
there's no way to know. We don't know that any
(20:57):
studies have been done to try to decipher bar or
purrs from cats or whatever. So that's good, though, I
wonder how much they're charging for that. It's called petty
Chat pe Tti chat. They say it uses advanced AI
deliver ninety four point six percent real time translation accuracy.
(21:21):
You can trust my fat iss all right, thank you, Reggie.
I'm going to pass on that. Drew from Boston writes
in he says Boston adjacent. He says, have you ever
seen any mysterious silver spheres in the sky? And I
guess this is another one of those UFO stories. Here
new evidence of a secret invasion by these mysterious silver
(21:44):
thingma jigs in the sky. I did years ago, way
before drones. I was I don't want to say hiking.
I was more walking than hiking in the woods around
La and I did see some black speeds objects. It
was very odd and they were they were high in
(22:05):
the sky, but not that high in this guy and
they were kind of floating around and they didn't make
any noise. It was it wasn't drones because there were
no drones yet, and I don't know what those were.
That that's the weirdest thing that I've one. I don't
say the weirdest. I've seen some other weird stuff, but
that that's the one I remember right now. So yeah,
I guess with the previous conversation Robbie with the goat man,
(22:28):
you have not seen any anything that would lead me.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I mean one I thought I saw or but then
I found out like six months later that one of
our neighbors had gotten fined for flying drones around. So
I'm going to chalk that up to that. Though. My
dad he grew up and anchored Alaska and he's in
his sixties, so that was back with Alaska was like
still the last Frontier, you know what I mean. And
he claims he doesn't know what he saw, but he
(22:54):
to this days kind of still freaked out when he
tries to describe what he saw as a kid in
the woods when he was hiking when he shouldn't have been,
like late at night. And yeah, so there's that story.
I guess there you go.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Kwang from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam guaranteed human rights in
He wanted me to share a story that I teased
on the original recipe version of the radio show. And
he said, you mentioned you didn't have enough time to
wax loquacious on it. Could you do it here on
the podcast? So and could you please tell the story now,
(23:31):
along with a complete rundown of your nicknames? So he wants,
he wants all. That's a lot. That's a big request.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
From It's like a Costco order sized email right there.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, yeah, well it is a podcast. So the story
that I didn't have time to tell back when I
covered the Dodgers on a regular basis, and I went
to the games literally every day for about fifteen years
twenty years. I didn't miss a Dodger game at home anyway,
and I went to a lot of road game so
I was around. Of course, they ever won like they
are now they were when I was around the team
(24:06):
I got. I used to get to the ballpark like
two thirty three o'clock in the afternoon. I got there early. Wait,
the game started seven to thirty back then, so i'd
get there real early. And I went to Dodger Stadium
or like in normal and got into the media entrance
in the parking lot. You had to drive all the
way around the parking lot. They were playing the Angels,
(24:27):
and it was one of the early years of Interleague
Baseball and driving, and I get stuck. There's like this
one lane road you got to take in the afternoon.
They closed the other lane all the way around to
get to where you need to go to get into
the stadium. So I'm behind this car that is just
driving about as slow the speed limit. I don't I
(24:49):
don't even know what the speed limit is at Dodger Stadium.
Generally speaking, though, back in those days, there's no radar guns,
and the stadium's not really even open when you're allowed in,
so you can drive as fast as you want. And
this person was driving it must have been like twenty
miles an hour and I couldn't get around him. So
I'm getting pissed off, you know. I'm I'm like, this
(25:10):
is really annoying me. I'm wasting my time here. This
is the stadium's empty, there's no one there, and I'm trying.
I tried to get around the guy, and the guy
kind of leaned in a little bit and kind of
blocked me. And I'm getting I'm getting angrier, and I'm
getting worked up to the ladder and We're going along
and I finally got a spot I could get around
(25:31):
this guy. And I look over and I'm gonna give
him the bird. Robbie. I'm like, I'm pitching. And I
look over and it is, hand to God, Sparky Anderson,
the old manager of the He had done some he
was doing some broadcasting for the Angels, and Sparky I
couldn't believe it. I was like, I was like, I
(25:52):
was getting I had road rage at Sparky Anderson, who's
a baseball legend. I don't know if the people today
know who he is because he's been gone for a while.
But he's one of those guys too. And I said
this when I was a kid and he was managing
like the he managed the Reds, the big Red machine
of the seventies and they managed the Hikers. And Sparky's
one of those guys that looked really old when he
(26:14):
was like forty. Yeah, and so it's one of those
cool things. Well it's it's it's a double edged sword
because it's it's bad and it's good. It's bad that
you aged really old, and you look amazingly old at forty. However,
then it's like you stopped aging, you know, like the
rest of life, you're just the old guy. But you've
(26:35):
been the old guy for a long time and so
you don't really look like you've aged at all. So
that's my that's my Sparky Anderson story. I had a
road rage with Sparky Anderson, and I didn't actually give
him the bird because I saw I recognize it's hard
not to recognize him. I did a very distinctive look
to him. And there's some great Sparky Anderson quotes that
(26:56):
he gave over the years. I've always been fair with
the FN writers and all those things. As far as
the nicknames, I know, Robbie, you love the nicknames. I
have been called, among other things, the Spinmaster of misinformation,
the banning Broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs, Benny Bingo, Curmudgeon
of commentary, Chasm of sarcasm, the Tzar of Zany, the
dark Knight of weak night sports radio, the Mogul of mischief, Benny,
(27:17):
the Brazen King of zing, money ball Maller Benny, the Bopper,
Facetius Fox, Sultan of insulting, the Shaman of schodenfreude, sensitive sniffer,
jumping Jack of wisecrack, in Sight of overnight medicine, Man
Mallard Naybob of negativity, Sage of outrage, the Pinnacle of cynical,
(27:39):
Prince of preposterous, Professor of propaganda, Hazar of hyperbole, the
floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad Hatter
of sports chatter. And that's only part of my nicknames, Robby,
you know that there's more. But wait, there's more. I
have been called the Bear. There will be a quiz
on this. I have been called the bear in the balderdash,
(28:01):
Big gall bladder. BENI is the Menace, Benny beat Down,
Captain knee Jerk, Duke of the north Woods, General of Degenerates,
Tycoon of T's, Master of Disaster, the Hustler of Philipbuster,
night Light of night Life, Pummeler of Producers, Benny bright Side,
Manatee of Insanity, Marconi Maller, Moneyline, Mallard, Masshole, Malarrested Piece,
(28:25):
mass Whole, Mickey, Emissary of Embellishment, Weeknight, Windbag, Wizard of Wacky,
Slayer of Naysayer's Grand Goober of gab All, the Dark
of Dark, Tower of Babylon, Honest Adonis. It's almost done,
I promise. Senator of Sarcasm, Nocturnal Colonel, the Underdog of Monologue,
and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. So those
(28:48):
are my nicknames, and now I'm gonna take a nap.
Yeah that's uh.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
My top three. If I would be Pinnacles, Ccle, Nocturnal Colonel,
and the Slippery Oh jeez, now I'm.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, no, it's it's the Holy Pope of the Slippery.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Yeah, there we go. But we had a cat that
would always just only be up at night, so wea
one of his nicknames is Colonel after the Nocturnal Colonel
of your show.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
So oh nice, that's cool, like Beethoven of BS. I
think it's just just outstanding.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
That is a good one, pretty good.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Combining classic music and the bull crap that we do here.
Thank you Kwang Hunter from parts on No Rights, and
he says Ben the betting favorite has emerged to be
the cover be the cover boy of Madden NFL twenty seven,
and it is Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams is the favorite.
(29:51):
Would you support Caleb Hunter? What do I care?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I mean, what am I supposed to do? Isn't there
still the Matt who was on the who was on
cover last year was the Eagles guy? Uh? Yeah, yeah,
and they didn't do so well, right.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Sweet cover with the old the retro Eagles union. But no, yeah,
he just had an average year. I don't think he
got a catastrophic injury, So I guess that's a win
for him considering some of the years people have been
on the Matten cover.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
But yeah, no, I'm sure we'll talk about it when
they announce it. The Caleb Williams thing, and so fine,
I I'm not the biggest Caleb Williams fan. I'm sure
Robbie probably loves Caleb Williams.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
No, I don't, Oh, you don't, okay, I was a
Jade Daniels fan going into that draft.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
So can you give him your legs? He might need
your legs? Yeah, I know, not going so well there
for for your guy looking like RG three to two
point zero.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
There, he hasn't had any act well, no, he probably
has actually yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
All right. Uh, next one is from Kyle, and Kyle
did not this two in a row. They don't sign
there where they're from. Is it that hard? Is it hard,
Robbie to put the city you're from or even make
it up? How am I going to know?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
I just make it up for you pick.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
A different city every week for as far as so
much as I care. I care anyway, says uh benh
When will a school be called the blue octopus is
their mascot? And he's he sent me the store here,
says A single octopus collected nearly a mile deep near
the Galapagos Islands has been identified as a new species,
(31:36):
and I'm not going to even try to pronounce the
name of it. However, this is very small enough small
to fit in the palm of your hand. And it
is vivid blue. It's a blue octopus. And uh yeah,
I think we have enough teams called the Wildcats and
the Bulldogs, and I love Bulldogs. But we have enough teams.
Why not change it up. I think every team Robbie
(31:57):
should have a unique nickname.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah, Or if we can't get a team named octopus,
why not an mm A fighter have their nickname because
it seems like every other MMA fighter's nickname is pitbull
and that's gotten really cliched too. As the UFC fan,
every other dude's name is pitbull. So why would you like, uh,
you know, octopus or something.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Well, I just realized why you would, Yeah, octopus because
if you shorten that's all right. Uh. On that note,
(32:39):
Steve in Texas, that's a big state, Steve. Uh he
writes it, he says, Ben, Ben and Robbie. Uh does
this prove that Barry Bonds, Roger Clemons and Sammy Soshi
should be in all of fame? And I guess they
had the h what is this thing called the Steroid
Olympics or whatever they're calling.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, so they had these games where athletes could take
as many drugs and steroids as they want. And it
turns out that the people who organized it said they
were gonna get all kinds of world records and all
this stuff, and dozens of athletes head to head and
there were some athletes that I guess were not on stereois.
I didn't watch any of this. There were some athletes
not on sterogy, and I guess several of the events
(33:22):
were won by people that did not use steroids.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Yeah, I heard. I heard it was the giant to
baffle and like only one world record was broken and
they were predicting like all these records would fall and.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
A well, and anyway, I see. My point has always been,
I was if you had listened to me back in
those years. We used to have this guy Seth Everett,
who was like a big baseball you know, insider at MLB,
and he'd always call up and rant and rave and
they drive me nuts because I always ripped the steroid guys.
These guys weasels. Never I'm never getting all of him.
None of these guys are getting Hall of Fame. And
(33:55):
I have done a one eighty on that as I've
gotten older, because I've seen guys who I am nice
percent sure did steroids who are in the Hall of Fame.
And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm almost one hundred
percent sure that this guy did sterois. He's in the
Hall of Fame. And that guy did Sterois, he's in
the Hall of Fame. But we can't put Bonds in.
And Bonds was a dick. I spent a lot of
time that Giants played the Dodgers three times a year
(34:16):
when I was covering the Dodgers, and I spent a
lot of time waiting for Barry Bonds. And there were
times he would say, Hey, I'll be right back, and
I'd be waiting there for forty minutes, and he never
came back. He snuck out the back of the visiting
clubhouse at Dodgers name. So it's not like I'm a
Barry Bonds fan. He was a dick. He should be
in the Hall of Fame, and Clemens and Sosa and
Maguire and like all those guys should be in in
(34:37):
the Hall of Fame. And so it doesn't matter what
happened at the Peed Olympics and all that. It doesn't
really move the needle for me. So anyway, I haven't
heard too much. I guess the big steroid story this
year is Fernando to tease, Who's.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, I agree with part of what you said on
your monologue. He's hitting the balls hard, but it doesn't
really matter how hard you hit the ball if it's
straight to the ground. But I don't know who knows
what to believe with the analytics.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, like people, it's like a religion.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
The analytics.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Yeah, that's true, Like you can't go against the religion.
It's like that guy plays for the Giants. What he's
bounced around. When I'm thinking of the guy's name, he's
a like a three hundred hitter every year, slap hitter.
Oh Luise rise yeah, Rise yeah rise guy, so Luisa Rise.
Like people, people who are married to analytics and it's
the rich religion. They're like, oh my god, this is
like this guy sucks because of the analytics. And I'm like, Okay,
(35:36):
he doesn't hit the ball hard, he doesn't have great
exit velo, he's batting three hundred. You know there's a
place for a guy like that in the major leagues.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
No, yeah, you're right. If this was the seventies, he
would have generational waltz by now, like not saying he doesn't,
but like, what did he sign like a one year
five we know our contract with the Giants. That's he
would just if you put today's payment like today finances
in nineteen seventies baseball, he would have like a salary
quintuple that.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah, because yeah, for sure, I mean there was a
guy Rod Carew didn't have a lot of power. It's
kind of a slap of course he had like three
thousand hits or whatever, but still he is a great
power guy and he made a decent amount of money.
L L. Hudson from Utah Rights and says, Ben, do
you have you think this SNL skit was based on
(36:28):
a true story? And then he sent me a link
says new DNA analysis of mysterious conehead mummies fuels alien
origin theories. So this is kind of tied into what
we talked about earlier. Yeah, there was a famous skit
before you Were Alive, Robbie on Saturday Night Live. There
was this guy named dan Ackroyd and they played the
(36:50):
Coneheads and it's on YouTube. So I guess that kind
of goes back to what we were talking about, Like,
what if my buddy, one of my friends is convinced
that like all these alien movies, they're all based on
real aliens and they just connected it together and all that.
So if that were the case, if that was the
way you want to go, then yeah, they're real.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Cone Yeah, that's the one thing that would still be
erth show. I don't think people would freak out if
the president just came out, So, yeah, aliens are real.
The one thing that would still be earth shattering is
if it was like's if aliens date back to the
beginnings of time and that they're somehow involved in our
growth as a spec sas you know what I mean.
So that would yeah, that would if.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
There were the puppets and they're the puppet masters, that.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Kind of yeah, because that would kind of tear it
the fibers of a lot of religions and that would
cause a little bit of a headache. Would we have
to run?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Would we have to run and get toilet paper and
bottle of water? Again?
Speaker 3 (37:48):
What is of all things toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Always with the Yeah, So the way it is out
back John and Joanna in southern California, I gotta go
visit John. He's he's at the outback there and he's
got the I gotta get the Bloomin Onion. I'll go
in the Bloomin Onion hang out. We'll talk some ball,
he says. Hey, big Ben and Robbie the Marinder fan,
he says, or special guests. Sorry for the back to
(38:14):
back to back to back to back to back to back.
I'm just gonna use this one. Out Back, John, he says,
I heard you talking the other day about Mike Tyson's
punch Out game on the old school Nintendo. I cannot
tell you how many hours or days I spent playing
that game. I never got past Macho Man and only
got to him a few times because I could barely
(38:35):
beat Sandman. I believe the code to go straight to
Tyson was zero zero seven three seven three five nine
sixty three got the outback, John remembered it. Johanne's probably
rolling her eyes, this loser I'm married to. Anyway, I
punched that code in more times than Roger Goodell said.
There were people at the NFL Draft, but um bump,
(38:58):
I got smoked every time. So our question is, did
you ever beat Mike Tyson in the video game? As
I remember, out Back John, I also had the code.
I think everyone had the code when around my age,
and I did beat Mike Tyson. And the thing that
pissed me off I was alone. We didn't have cell
phone cameras in those days because it was the Stone age,
(39:19):
so I have no way of verifying. And it pissed
me off because every time there were people in the
house where I would, you know, you bring your mom in,
Hey mom, I you know, it's like proud mommy, your
my mom be so proud of you. You know, not
that you got straight a's, you made a good living
for yourself. No, no, you beat Mike Tyson. That's what matters.
And the one time that I did is I remember
(39:39):
I was alone at home, and I didn't get a
photo of the thing, So that sucked. Let's see here
junior super fan Caleb eleven years old. Eleven, he's in
the minor league system. He's in the pipeline, he said,
Dad Dominic sent this and he took a picture a
(40:00):
letter written by Caleb, so hello Caleb. He emailed to
bust my chops, Robbie. He wanted to bust my chops
and my terrible NBA predictions regarding the Knickerbockers and the
Cavaliers and He also this is great. I love this, Caleb.
You're firing me up here. He ripped me for ripping
(40:20):
Karl Anthony Towns. And he says he wants another mallor
meet and greet in Minnesota. I love Minnesota. I'd love
to come back. It's expensive to travel these places anyway.
He also he sent a joke about weed Man, which
is pretty good. I'll have to save that for Are
you allowed to listen to lame jokes? Anyway? Very funny.
(40:44):
He's glad you liked the show there, Caleb. He also drew,
I can't show you this, Robbie, because you know it's audio.
Caleb's eleven years old. He drew a cartoon of me
and I've got my glasses on my hat and I'm
talking into a microphone and this is let me tell
you something, Caleb. This should be hanging at the Louver.
(41:06):
You don't even know what the Louver is, probably because
you're eleven, But tell you ask your dad. I'll ask
your you know some your your relatives there. The Louve
is this very famous art museum in Perie, or the
Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, somewhere like that.
That's that's all. That's awesome. So thank you, Caleb. I'm
glad that you're eleven and already busting my chops. That
means a lot.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
The next generation will be all right, I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
We got to have the pipeline, Robbie, right, we got
to have the next wave of sports radio.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Just make sure you end up being a good not
a suspects, you know exactly?
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Well, yah, yeah, Pray prospect is a suspect until Yeah,
that's from Dusty Baker, Adam from Malibou. How about that,
bougie Maliboo, How you're doing it? Says Ben? Did you
ever eat at fud Ruckers? I was a huge fan.
I saw this story in the New York Post this
week and I was sad. And the story in the
(41:58):
Post this week said that fud Rutgers at one point
in the nineteen eighties they had five hundred locations and
now they're down to forty four. They're calling it a
blockbuster of the burger world, although there's only like one
blockbus Isn't is that still open in organ? Isn't There
wasn't there a blockbuster video an organ today close?
Speaker 3 (42:18):
There was one left and Bend I don't know if
it's still is open or not.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
So have you ever been there? Did you ever know?
Speaker 3 (42:24):
That's about two hours away? I think, Okay, there used
to be one in my town, but there wasn't every town.
So yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
You're like, you're not of the age where like blockbusters
don't really mean that much to you, right because you're younger.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
So, I mean, there was a time we're going to
get a movie for the weekend was a big deal.
So I guess the tail end of the glory days
of a rental stores.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
So yeah, it was always frustrating because you'd go to Blockbuster.
Everyone made this mad dash on Friday to get the
hot movie. You didn't get there early enough, you know,
it's just a complete waste of time. And then some
people would leave the boxes on the shelf because remember
the whole thing had they had the boxes and you
had to take it up to the front. Oh yeah,
Sometimes they'd be empty and you'd be like, what the hell,
(43:12):
what is up with that? La la la la? All right?
Next up is Tim from Parts Unknown. He says, Ben,
are you excited that Vladimir Putin is going to create immortality?
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Oh? I heard about this Okay, yeah, so you know this.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
So the headline on this story Putin investing and the
Russians are investing twenty six billion dollars in longevity, and
among the things here, twenty six billion dollars state funded
anti aging longevity program. I feel like this should be
a bipartisan issue. Robbie shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yeah, although I don't think he wants everyone to live forever,
just tim Ah, You're.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Probably not wrong. Among the items, the Kremlin is working
on three D bioprinting of organs and tissues, growing human
organs in genetically modified mini pigs, extreme cryotherapy, gene therapy
to slow down aging, and the goal of full human
(44:18):
organ replacement capability by twenty thirty. And Putin's daughter is
the one running this program for the Russians. So uh yeah,
it's it's one of those weird things, like I don't
even know it's that weird. I think we're designed to
only live a certain period of time and we want
(44:40):
to live forever. If everyone else is not able to
come with you on the ride, you know, it's a weird.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Well, even that one like influencer guy who claims he
wants to live forever when they asked him, do you
really think you can live forever? And I think his
last names like Johnson or something. He's like, well, I
I qualify living forever as like two hundre fifty years,
so that's not forever anyway. It's like there's a I
don't think no matter how like we would have to
become fully what cyborg to live forever because eventually the
(45:10):
skin's going to decay. I just I don't see any
I mean, yeah, though Putin has talked about it before
he got caught in that hot mic in China talking
to z GM peak about how he might need a
some of his prisoners to donate stuff to him.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So yeah, well, imagine what that's gonna look like, though
it was conceivable you could you could have you know,
a new heart growing in a little mini pig. Oh
your your left knee can be from a cow somewhere
or something like that. Imagine what that's gonna look like though,
after you know, one hundred and thirty years or forty
years and you got all these new parts in you end,
(45:46):
you know, just like you.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Like Richard Nixon's brains yarn Future Round maybe or something.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Hey, but Ted Williams could come back and save the
Red Sox.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Exactly, they need a hitter. So who knows?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Come on, Teddy, come back. Mark, and Florida writes in
he says, Ben, what good would the apocalypse detector do
to the common man? And then he sent me this story, Robbie.
There's a new website that is tracking all of the billionaires,
the robber barons of society. The website they're claiming the
(46:22):
goal is a apocalypse early warning system, and they claim
that the richest people in society will know when there's
going to be some kind of apocalyptic like nuclear war
or something like that, and that they'll all leave wherever
they are and then that'll be a sign for the
rest of society. Okay, there's going to be some kind
(46:45):
of cataclysmic event or something like that. But I agree
with this guy, Mark, even if you knew that, like,
what are you going to do? You don't have a
private plane.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Yeah, and even the rich people, like, if it's a
big enough nuclear cataclysmic event, then the whole nuclear winner
thing goes in a play. And there's a certain point
doesn't matter how rich you are, if you're screwed. If
you're screwed, like if just a big enough cataclysmic event.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
But yeah, exactly one from so Cal writes in on
the mailbag, Thank you one. He says, Ben, what's your
take on the Pope's Holy War with AI?
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, yeah, So I actually didn't see this. I just
reading he Samuel clip like a paragraph of it says
the backlash is growing the Catholic Church and the Pope
coming out against artificial intelligence. Yeah. I look at this
(47:43):
stuff like pretty much everything in moderation, even moderation, as
the line goes, in moderation. So it's it's not perfect,
and it's it's kind of like replay in sports. Do
you have to get everything perfect? Does everything have to
be right?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (48:01):
At what point does it not work for society? And
there's that point where you cross the rubicon and you're like, like,
what are we doing here? You know? So I it's
gonna be very interesting in the next few years to
see how this all. Yeah, and I feel bad. A
lot of people gonna lose their jobs, people that want,
(48:22):
you know, spent their lives, getting educating, getting trained at skills,
and they're gonna lose their job. And I understand things changed.
At one point people made their living with horses, and
then I'm now there's cars, and then uh, you know,
at one point, even in my lifetime, we had we
had typewriters, and computers were like these giant things. And
now everyone's got a computer in their phone. And so
(48:44):
I understand that part of it. It just and and
and also you've got a factor in a lot of
these stories about doom and gloom are not one hundred
percent accurate. For example, there was a story Ray Ray
or ray or Ray or whatever his name is he
sent where Dominoes had partnered with a robotics company to
(49:06):
streamline their pizza like an AI company. And this AI company,
which actually is in Seattle, is startup. They raised a
bunch of venture capital and they now have shut down
and they had domino So it's not always going to
be perfect. It's not all.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
And you also got to think of all the when
people are saying, oh, this this is going to replace
people they're talking to these companies because companies here like,
oh that's a good thing. But the people that are
talking like selling it are the people that own stakes
in these AI companies. They're trying to hype it up.
So who knows if the kind of the top end
predictions will even come true on that way.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
So well yeah, and also you got a factor in,
like a society's got to decide, you know, do you
want to hear like my business in broadcasting. Do you
want to have a human being on the other side
or do you not care if it's just a computer?
(50:06):
And you have to decide. I'm a little concerned because
we've already seen this. I think we might have talked
about this. I know I've talked about it on the podcast.
I don't know if you were here or not. Robbie,
where there's people that have made very curvaceous fake women
on AI and they they've made money on Instagram and
(50:27):
TikTok and things like that, and so there's obviously some
horn dogs that are just sending their money in for
you know, fake women. At least give it to real women,
you know, I mean, come on, boys, what are you doing?
So that stuff's a little scary that they don't really care,
although that's like adult content. So we'll get out. We've
(50:50):
been gone way long, but so much fun. Amazing yet again,
the man, the myth, the legend, Robbie the Mariner fan,
You're so good at this, Robbie, it's crazy. You want
to promote anything. You have a podcast you do, right,
you want to promote that?
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah, Sunday mornings right in early nine thirty am Eastern
United States of Australia. It's a live YouTube show, that's
about it.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
What time is it for your buddy in Australia.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Oh, it's it's like eleven pm at night, ten pm
a night.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
Okay, all right?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
So I think he gets a riend of it than
I do because I have to be up at like
I usually wake up at five am to kind of
make sure it go over my He does like half
the show of like his content, and I do have
to show my content, and so I want to be
prepared and everything. And yeah, it's Sunday mornings are rough,
but I'm not complaining.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
So does it? Do you just stay up all night?
I know you're a socialite there in Oregon, Robbie. Do
you just.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
I try to get a little bit of sleep, but
it's it's hard.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I got you all right on that note, I will
be back tonight and no days off, no scheduled days
off this week from the radio show, so I will
be there every single night bloviating this week and we'll
catch you then have a great rest of your Sunday.
And it was wonderful Robbie, thank you so much, and
(52:12):
we'll talk to you as Dick and Date would say
bye bye. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Felation.
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