Best of The Ben Maller Show

Big Ben talks about the NFL getting set to outlaw the 'Tush Push' made popular by the Eagles, the Cardinals welcoming new head coach Jonathan Gannon, Maller to the Third Degree, Lame Jokes of the Week, Coop's Scoop on Entertainment, and more!

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Episode Transcript

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(00:23):
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(01:29):
should be. So our lead this hour we go to
the NFL and this story. It's actually the Competition Committee
and it hasn't happened yet. We're getting ahead of everyone
on this one. The autopsy of the twenty twenty two
NFL season. Kansas City, you're champion, Philadelphia the runner up.

(01:52):
And there's a lot of noise. Can't hear it unless
you listen very closely. It's off in the distance, but
it's coming close, sir. And the noise about a major
alteration to the rule book. Something that you saw early
and often in the Super Bowl could be going away. Now.

(02:14):
If you haven't heard about this yet, you probably haven't.
I'm fascinated by this story, so let me give you
the insight. I'll give you the thumbnail recap on this.
So we are told that the NFL's Competition Committee is
expected to banish the tush push. No, tush ain't in

(02:35):
the NFL. You know, that play that the Eagles have
run this past season was insane. It is really the
superpower of Jalen Hurts and the Eagles offense as they
get in the short yardage situations and they basically just
push Jalen Hurts body like he's just dead. There's a

(02:56):
he's a mannequin. They push him across the yard game marker.
And Jalen Hurts had not one, not two, not three,
not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight,
not nine. How about ten rushing first downs in Super
Bowl fifty seven, a game the Eagles lost. Six of
those came on quarterback keepers. So on each one of

(03:20):
those plays, the Eagles used the push push as it's
being called. There where they lined up and you saw
you know what I'm talking about, you saw the game
or you heard the game whatever. They lined up with
the couple of players sometimes three players right behind Jalen Hurts,
and then they just pushed him. They pushed his tuck
us his but donka donk, and they moved him forward

(03:42):
after the ball was snapped. Now, Dean Blandino, who gets
paid to talk and the fox box that rocks the
rules analyst for Box Sports, been there a long time,
and he recently said that he expects the league to
quote address the tactic. He told the thirty third team website, quote,

(04:07):
I think the league is going to look at this,
and I'd be shocked. Dean Blandino said, if they don't
make a change. He compared the play to a rugby scrum,
he said, and said it's just not a skillful play.
That was a quote he said. In addition, Blandino that

(04:29):
this is just a tactic that is not esthetically pleasing.
It's not an esthetically pleasing play, and I think the
Competition Committee is going to take a look at it,
he said. And as we understand, the Competition Committee is
lining everything up. They will meet in two weeks at
the Scouting Combine, always a fun social event on the

(04:52):
NFL calendar. That's an Indianapolis. Make sure you have the
surf and turf at Saint Elmo's there and indeed that's
where all the NFL big shots hang out, the old
steakhouse there in downtown Indy. And then they'll get together
the Competition Committee again. I know you're excited about this
is well market on your calendar and your smartphone before
the NFL Owners meetings in the Valley of the Sun.

(05:13):
And I'm I'm guessing a swinky resort in Scottsdale in
late March. So the tush push is endangered. It is
going to be on the agenda now any rule changed
recommendation by the said committee we have been told would
be voted on by all the owners in Arizona. So

(05:34):
let us discuss the question. Are you gonna go thumbs
up or thumbs down on whether or not the NFL
should outlaw the Philadelphia Eagles tush push of Jalen Hurts.
So I am going should they get rid of this?
I'm going thumbs down, two thumbs down on this. I've

(05:58):
got Gestapo, Dark Web, and Book of Legends, and we
will combine all of these things together and we're gonna
make a cold cheese steak, which is what happened to
the Eagles. They served up cold cheese steak in the
second half of that game. So number WY, Now, we

(06:28):
don't have a dog in the fight on this one.
We are not Philadelphia fans. Nevertheless, I know stupid when
I see stupid, and this is dum dum dum dumb.
The NFL overreach on this. It is completely unnecessary and
what you end up seeing we see this all the
time in sports. It's not unique to the NFL. But

(06:50):
Nick Sirianni and his coaching staff with the Eagles cooked
up a brilliant offensive play that has been available to
every other team in the NFL. It's not like it's
only available in Philly. Now, this has been mostly unstoppable
during the twenty twenty two seasons. That creativity should be rewarded.

(07:15):
It shouldn't be punished the fact that they thought outside
the box, that they pushed the boundaries. It is not
an illegal play. It's about to become an illegal play,
but that was within the limits. And instead of celebrating
the genius, the Gestapo rules committee gets together and they're

(07:37):
they're already planning to stampede over the Eagles. Secret ingredient
put the Kabbah on this play, which is lame to
the membrane on this side of the microphone, and it
reminds me a Major League Baseball I was talking to
Roberto in our production meeting before the show, and the
shift was too effective in baseball. Now, there's a cheap

(07:59):
code in baseball you can bunt and if you do
that enough, they won't do the shift. But the shift
was too effective, So what did Major League Baseball do?
The players failed to use the cheat code to beat
the shift, and so rather than bunt or hit the
ball the other way. Too hard to do that apparently

(08:20):
at a professional level when you're a hitter, and so
major League Baseball this season, when the game start beginning,
has criminalized the shift, and now the NFL is about
to criminalize the touch push, which seldom felt. How good
was this play? Let me paint the picture now, I'm
glad you asked that question. How good was it? So?
Jalen Hurts attempted forty back forty quarterback sneaks this past season,

(08:46):
including the postseason forty times. He converted thirty six of them.
That's a ninety percent success rate, or a nine hundred
winning percentage, if you will. So, why is the NFL
planning on getting rid of They haven't done it yet.
Maybe they'll change their mind. We don't think they will.

(09:07):
We anticipate that the NFL will claim it's under the
guise of players safety. It's a dangerous play. We need
to protect our quarterbacks from bodily harm. Now the number
one fool proof excuse of our time, which you can
say to do anything in your life and no one

(09:28):
can question this. You know what it is. You know
you've heard a lot the last couple of years. You
say the following, and no one is allowed to question
anything you do here it is you're ready. I don't
know that you're ready for it. You know where I'm going.

(09:50):
Here's the excuse, out of an abundance of caution, period. Stop.
You can say anything you know. I I think I
have to leave this meeting right now out of an
abutans of caution. I think I'm gonna end the show
right now out of an opponents of cautution. It works
for all shapes and sizes. And the NFL will say

(10:11):
some version of out of an abundance of caution, and
they'll claim it's a boring play. It's not football, it's rugby,
and it's all horse feathers all right now, Page two.
So how should the NFL teams handle this push the
tush push quarterback play? Rather than ban it? My advice

(10:34):
is very simple. Go to the dark web and buy
a three D printer copy what the Eagles are. Don't
recreate it. If it can work for the Eagles, it
can work for the Raiders, Patriots, the Rams, the Seahawks,
the Vikings, the Cowboys. You can work for everybody. And

(10:57):
as they say in political jargon, if you can't beat them,
join them. And it was I believe Oscar Wilde, who
wrote originally that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
So it shows you how little imagination the NFL has.
Pushing a ball carrier to help move him forward has
been perfectly kosher in the NFL legal play since twenty

(11:23):
oh five. We're talking about almost twenty years that play
has been allowed in college football. It's been legal since
twenty thirteen, so it's allowed. And yet it took from
twenty oh five all the way till twenty twenty two,
almost a generation before the Philadelphia Eagles weaponized and turned

(11:46):
that into a missile. That particular play, all right, final point,
So what must be going through the mind of Jalen Hurts?
What do you think here? Because this is his superpower,
this is it, and the NFL is about to take
it away from him, So he's got to have mixed emotions.
You're lost in thought. On one hand, if I'm advising
Jalen Hurts, I got answer in my pants, and I'm like,

(12:10):
you gotta get that contract. You've got to be Sonic
the Hedgehog here and signed that extension lickety split before
the Eagles changed their mind and before next season. When
you no longer have your cape. That rugby style push
has been the secret sauce. It's the guardian angel for

(12:31):
Jalen Hurst. And I'm not gonna say he's gonna completely
blow chunks without it, but he's not nearly as dominant
without that particular play. He scored eighteen rushing touchdowns in
eighteen games this season, including the playbs eighteen of them.
It is interesting to note that ten of those rushing
touchdowns came from inside the two yard line, where the

(12:54):
tushy pushy was most effective. And so the NFL taking
that away, and based on a simpleton's view on that,
you would say that's fifty five percent of the domination
of Jalen Hurts, that he's immediately half the quarterback. He

(13:16):
had men in the blink of an eye, in the
snap of some fingers. Now it would also in addition
to that, you sign the contract. But this has to
make you very happy if you're Jalen Hurts. Right, this
is a gold star next to your name because very
few players, very few players or coaches have inspired a

(13:37):
rule to be named informally in their honor. And I
promise you if this rule does change, they will call
it the Jalen Hurts rule and he will then enter
his name among the book of Legends, much like Kenny Stabler.
And this was before our time unless you're old, but
Kenny Stabler, the Holy Roller player. One of the great

(13:59):
play is an NFL history and that was where the
ball kept rolling forward. They called the Holy Roller with
the great calls in broadcasting history by the late Bill King,
the voice of the Raiders Holy Toledo. But they changed
the rule after that. That happened, I believe in nineteen
seventy eight, nineteen seventy nine they changed the rule only
the ball carrier can advance a fumble. Because of the

(14:23):
Raiders and the Holy Roller. They have a rule named
after Lester Hayes, another Raider. Lester they called him. His
nickname was La Molester. Look it up. I'm not lying,
great defensive player. And in the early eighties they changed
the rule they called the Lester Hayes rule, banning Stickham
because he his hands were like it was like an

(14:43):
elmer's glue container, and he led the league in interceptions,
and so they banned that. Emmett Smith, who we just
talked to on the podcast. We had emmet on our
podcast over the weekend at the Super Bowl, and there's
an Emmett Smith rule. Did you know that? Yeah, players
are not allowed to remove their helmets on the field

(15:04):
because Emmett Smith loved to remove his helmet. I remember
doing sports radio back in those days, and it was like,
why does evert always take his helmet on? Why he's
playing to the cameras, people like goofing on him. Now
somewhat more recently, although it wasn't it was still a
long time ago. Ricky Williams run, Ricky Run. And you

(15:26):
remember the rule if you're old enough to remember when
Ricky Williams played in the NFL. It wasn't that great
an NFL players better a college player. But there's a
Ricky Williams rule. And they declared that Ricky had the
dreadlocks and occasionally people would just grab them to tackle them.
So the NFL decided they called the quasi the Ricky

(15:46):
Williams rule that any hair that extends below the helmet
line there is fair game to be tackled. So that's
also one of the informal rules that was named after
a player. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm
Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. What

(16:11):
a Bird Brain. Welcome in the beginning of another hour
of the Ben Maller Show. We are in the air
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(17:00):
or lead this hour coming from the Valley of the Sun.
And we have a new head coach in the NFL
that was announced the other day, but the grand introduction,
the pep Rally, took place on Thursday. That's former Eagles
defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon, no relation to Rich Jonathan Gannon

(17:22):
takes over the reins in Arizona and he was peppered,
peppered with questions about the cards including his quarterback. And
that is one of the things that stands out here. Enough.
You didn't hear this, and possibly not so, Jonathan Gannon.
He's waited his entire coaching careers. There's a big opportunity.

(17:45):
You're head coach in the NFL, and you know you're
gonna be asked about all these random topics about your team.
So the new coach of the Cards, he knows who
the offense is going to be built around, and he
wanted the world to know. And rather than me read
the quote, let's go to the audio tape. Here is

(18:05):
the new Cardinal coach. Listen very closely here as he
explains who the offense is all about. I have a
very specific vision of how I want to play on offense,
and the person that comes in here to run the
offense is going to understand that everything that we do
will be structured around the quarterback position to match his
skill set. And we have an elite one. Oh see

(18:29):
that last, that's the money quote right there. That's the
money quart and we have an elite one. And we
have an elite one. So let us discuss the question.
Jonathan Gannon saying Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray is an elite one.
Are you in or out on that? Yeah, we are.
We're out. We're outside. We're like Nelson from the Simpsons.

(18:52):
Ha ha, We're pointing and laughing. I've got French sweet
green and hiccups, and we will combine all of these
random things together and we are going to make a
sorry looking cactus, because that's what the Cardinals are, sorry
looking cactus out in the desert to lead off them.

(19:14):
Now we know how Jonathan Gannon got the gig. I
was a little confused because normally, when you go out
and ride the vomit comet in the Super Bowl and
your defensive unit blows a double digit lead, you are
not rewarded with a promotion. But that's what happened to
this guy. And we've determined, after a thorough review of

(19:36):
his opening news converence that this guy Gannon got the
job because he was throwing rose pedals at the little
feet of his quarterbacks, slobbering all over those little toes. Now,
to answer the question, outside of being blindfolded, drugged, and
a total Pollyanna Kyler, Murray obviously fails the elite status.

(20:00):
And anyone that says differently is known as Pinocchio. Okay,
you're pinocchio if you think otherwise. Elite quarterbacks are a
select group that are far superior in terms of ability
and qualities then the rest of the group. Right now
in the NFL, you've got Patrick Mahomes, who's on an
island by himself elite. You've got Joe Burrow who's also

(20:23):
out there, Josh Allen, and after that, Aaron Rodgers fell
off last year. You've got this mid tier which you
can twist around and flip some names around. And I
don't even know what Kyler Murray's in at mid tier.
I think he's in the third tier of quarterbacks. And
so hey, Kyler, you're not that guy. Pal, you're not

(20:43):
that guy. Excuse my French, but Kyler Murray is lacking
the genis aqua, if you will. And my evidence is
just watching the guy play his body at work. His
resume oozes with average fifty seven games in his NFL career,
he's under five hundred. He said, well, that's a team thing. Okay,

(21:04):
yards per pass, you know what average quarterback plays in
the NFL. Seven yards per pass? You know what Kyler
Murray's career yards per passes name Nick right seven, his
lifetime quarterback rating ninety two. That ain't good. He peaked

(21:24):
as a rookie and while he might not play in Jacksonville,
Kyler is a jag. He's just a guy. He's a
fun sized guy, but he's just a guy. And he's
not a leader. He brings toxic negativity to the locker
room from those that are there, that have whispered nonsense
out of the locker room behind the closed door doors.

(21:49):
He's got terrible body language. Doesn't make players around him better.
Elite players make players around them better. Patrick Mahomes, I
know Mahomes is out by himself on an island, but
Patrick Mahomes lost Tyreek Hill and he uplifted stiffs like
Juju Smith Schuster and Marquez Valdez Scantling and made them

(22:09):
more effectively. They were great, but they were better than
they had been and that helped Kansas City get to
the super Bowl and then eventually win the super Bowl.
And in fairness, when you're Kyler Murray's size, it's hard
to pick anyone up around you right as you gotta
make the players around your back. Now further so, I
got another sound bite here. This guy Jonathan Gannon, the

(22:32):
new coach of the Cardinals. He also gave a laundry
list of terms not only for Kyler but also the
entire Cardinal team. Let's go to the audio tape. Take
a listen here at this nonsense. But just as an
overall general philosophy of being adaptable, We're gonna maximize Kyler's

(22:53):
skill set. We're gonna be adaptable, We're gonna generate explosives,
We're gonna protect the football and be situationally smart. And
we know that when you hear me talk about explosives
and takeaways, we know those are winning stats. And that's
all three phases. Offense, defense, special teams. That's what we
will preach, and that's what we're gonna practice, and that's
what the players will be educated on and that's how

(23:16):
we're gonna play. And so okay, all right, So how
did you grade Jonathan Gannon's opening news carvage. That was
a big trunk, big piece of the pie. So on
my report card, I've got sweet green on there, and
I jotted down two words. I didn't give him an
A or a B or C or D or an F.

(23:38):
I just wrote down salad bowl is what I wrote
down as in words salad it is, guy, what a
hard Oh what a harder? Right? You forget the rugolo
or the bean sprouts or the shredded cabbage. No, no, no no, no, no, no,
you've got that word salad you mix together in that bowl.
Cliches over here, words over here, catchphrases over there, and

(24:03):
some of them are pleasing to the ear, to the
low information fan. It just came across as empty gibberish
to me. And what are you supposed to say? I
know that's the counter argument. You know, these things are
all kind of lame anyway. But he's using all these
big words adaptable, maximized skill set, explosives, winning stats, explosives,

(24:23):
and takeaways. Right that raised a red flag? To me?
It did, right? That raised the red flag. It doesn't
sound promising. This guy sounds like he's in over his head.
Robotic is a word that I had as well, and
he's not a great public speaker. Maybe he'll grow into it. Maybe,
maybe that'll work out for him, Probably won't. He's certainly

(24:44):
behind the apall Arizona. Even if this guy was the
second coming of Bill Parcels or Lombardi, it would be difficult.
I'll tell you why. There are three things in that
business that takes zero ability. That's number one giving effort,
number two mental toughness, and number three being responsible and

(25:07):
knowing what you're supposed to do. The quarterback of that
team is lacking in almost every one of those areas.
And now he is an epic gamer. Prep nah preparing
for an opponent not so much. I don't need to.
And Kyler has also been injury ravage. That was the
concern that he could not handle the NFL, as body

(25:31):
would not be able to take it. And guess what,
his body has not been able to take it. He's
had hamstring, wrist, ankles, shoulder, knee problems during the course
of his career. And Murray was in the building. This
is what made it awkward. So Gannon's up there on
the dais and Kyler Murray is in the crowd watching.

(25:54):
He's like lurking, like a snake out in the grass
and his new figure head coach. And you've got to
make sure if you're Kyler Murray, you're the puppet master.
You've got to make sure the puppet is working properly.
And Kyler better fantasy quarterback he has been than a
real life quarterback. All right, party shot, So I want
to turn away from Kyler Murray. The Cardinals are projected

(26:18):
to be one of the five worst teams in the NFL.
Some have them as the second worst team in the
entire league, and they're still in the demo phase. They're
not done with the demo now, speaking of that, is
it true that if Arizona really really, really, really really
really wants to trade DeAndre Hopkins, they will not have

(26:42):
to worry about that no trade clause anymore? Well, from
what we read, the clause is null and void. It's
over why Because DeAndre Hopkins is a steroid cheat and
since he was suspended for peeds, there was a clause
in the contract that said if you get busted, sorry
the trade. The trade situation is wide open. The no

(27:06):
trade clause goes away. Who goofed? I've got to know.
I think we know who goofed? So how do you
interpret the DeAndre Hopkins no trade clause vanishing? So I
have an unpopular opinion here. Even though technically the no
trade clause has gone away from what we've been reading here,

(27:27):
I say it's still there. It's a foe no trade clause.
And I'll tell you why, because Hopkins is still the
one who's at the captain's chair and he's the one
driving the yacht around. And what I mean by that is,
if the Cardinals trade Hopkins to a team he doesn't

(27:47):
want to play for a city he doesn't want to
live in, then what will Hopkins do? He will provide
a cacophony of issues. There'll be a hiccup there, a
hiccup here, a hiccup everywhere. Are Therefore, we still expect
Hopkins to be able to rubber stamp which team he

(28:07):
ends up traded to. Now we still have the Patriots
as the favorite. There have been some wise guys that
are saying, what about Kansas City? What about the Chiefs?
They need to upgrade their receivers? Why not Kansas City?
Who cares about their draft picks? They don't need draft
picks because they're in the golden era with Patty Mahomes.
We're gonna find out over the next couple of months,

(28:28):
that is for sure. Be sure to catch live editions
of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
eleven pm Pacific. Hi, this is Jay Glazer, and you
may know me for the world of football or fighting,
or even shows like HBO's Ballers. Well you don't know
is for my entire life. I have lived in something
I refer to as the gray depression anxiety. So now

(28:49):
I'm coming out with a new podcast, Unbreakable, a mental
health podcast with Jay Glazer where each week, well we
talk about mental health. I hope to describe it, give
it words. Listen to him with Jay Glazer on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Here we go quick, quick, we get their days. We

(29:10):
get to a third degree. This is one big gets grilled.
I blame the dinghy Kulo. Justin Fields admitted in a
recent interview that the wind in Chicago is difficult to
adjust to and that he hopes that the team gets
a dome, whether that the renovations to Soldier Field or
a new stadium. Ben, do you think football weather will

(29:31):
soon be a thing of the past. No, I think
the Bears should trade Justin Fields, right. I don't want
to hear that. If I'm the Bears my quarterback doesn't
like playing in cold weather? What the hell is that?
Come on? Bad weather? That's it used to be a
source of pride. That's a bad answer by him. Next
Wednesday was the first day that Calvin Ridley was eligible
to apply for reinstatement, and he did just that. Ben

(29:52):
Do you think Ridley will be playing at the start
of next season, Well, as long as he hasn't been
any parlays recently. Yes, I mean I have heard from
people that work in that business that the NFL is
using him as an example. The NFL's freaking out. They're
gonna get called the Congress because everyone's gambling and there's
gambling problems, and they're gonna use him as an example
how they keep guys in line, so that that could

(30:13):
work against Ridley. But I said, let him back next.
With Aaron Rodgers constantly being linked to the Jets, Tiki
Barber stud on his radio show that he thinks Rogers
is too sensitive to survive the New York media. Bennet's
he right. Well, the way I would answer this, as
long as Rogers wins, he'll be fine. The media in
New York will be eating out of the palm of
his hand if he loses. And he's irritable, cantankerous, cranky,

(30:38):
and he's got a very low boiling point, so it
will be a disaster. But you know, crotchity Rogers, if
you win, it doesn't matter. How do we do cool
you fail this edition, that is a win for me,
he told me in my headphones. I won. You know what, Coop,
You're a Dinghy. You're a Dinghy's what you are? Coop,
You're at Dinghy's rushed. Dinghy was not rushed at all, Dinghy,

(30:58):
spell it loser, Dinghy. Fox Sports Radio has the best
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the
iHeartRadio app. Search f SR to listen live. Knock Knock,
Who's there? Blame week? Blame Week two. It's Big Ban's

(31:19):
lame joke of the week. These are actual jokes by
actual listeners. We don't do shoutouts, so we can't say
hello to og Daddy, who's listening to us live as
he enjoys the show driving around in the Philippines. So
I wish we could say hellodiog Daddy. We can't do it.
Weed man is there. These are actual jokes sent in
by actual listeners. Did you hear that Lizzo did a
jumping jack? Yeah? Now, you didn't hear that journal journalists

(31:43):
are dubbing it the shot heard round the World is
what they're doubing From Justin in DC. Why has Lizzo
been banned from attending Major League Baseball games? Why? Ben? Well,
it turns out apparently she likes to lick the batter.
And it's not quite it's surfer Todd the comedian sent

(32:05):
that one in Why does Lizzo like starring in movies?
Why does she like starring in movies? Well, because she
said she's made for the big screen. Our friend Alex
who sent that one in what do you call Lizzo
orbiting mercury? What you say mercury is in retrochade is

(32:29):
what you would say in the queues. It's a great
tribute to Andrea, the sports sorceress there in the Bay Area.
Did you know that Lizzo has a crush on someone
in the Mallar Militia? Does she? Yeah, she's a big
fan of Stevie Meatballs. She's a Justin in DC. Did

(32:50):
you find your teeth weed Man? No, all right, no
teeth for weed Man. The rats took his teeth. Did
you hear that Lizzo got a new tattoo. No, I
did not hear that. Yes, it's it's a good year
along her rib cage, the good Year blind, the four
Good Year. That's George could be who set that one in?

(33:13):
See page down here. I don't have as much time,
so I want to skip over some of these jokes.
We had a lot of good Lizzo jokes, but we
can't read them all. I got one man, Oh yeah,
it's cool. How does Clipper Darryl avoid getting knocked out
at crypto dot com? He wears Lakers gear to the games?
The security stalks. I got it from double a Mexican.

(33:37):
That's not funny, Double a Mexican. You should be embarrassed,
goal with your your head down in shame. How do
you fill four hours of talk radio? How you play
Lizzo's food picks? It'll never end, Justine? Why would Lizzo
make a good NFL analyst? Why? Well, she's she really

(34:00):
gets into the meat and potatoes of football. That's Justin
and DC. Let's get some weed man jokes going. Did
you hear that weed Man upgraded his teeth? Yeah? Yeah,
angry Bill mailed him his infected tooth. Weed Man so excited.

(34:20):
That's Justin and DC. This is not nice. What what
does weed man call a shower? What does he call
a shower? A spit shine? He? That's Alex the cynical.

(34:40):
Is it true, weed man? Your last shower was in
the eighties? Is that true? All right? What is the
difference between Vladimir I love, I can't believe you. Well,
I know him a little bit. What is the he's
a little crazy these days. What is the difference between
Vladimir Putin and weed Man? What? Well, Putin is ruthless

(35:02):
and wheat Man is toothless. So that's me. That's the difference.
That's Ekean, Roseville, Minnesota. Did you hear that Lisa complained
to weed Man if I knew you were poor, she said,
I would have you know, never married you? Right, she
said that you hear what weed Man said? What did
you say? Well? Weed Man said, he warned Lisa. He
told her you you are everything I have. I told you,

(35:24):
I warned you You're everything I have Jay, Jay and
Mutton Man. I know Jay, and I guess actually from Manhattan.
That's at that end, weed Man, your old snopping grounds
A weed man is really hurting for money? Oh? Is he? Yeah, no, no, no,
don't do that. Uh. In fact, he is no, no,

(35:47):
he's so poor. He's so poor he has to play
dungeons or dragons. He can't play ball. That's is like
a nineteen eighties joke. I think that's an old joke. Uh.
That was from Steve in Minnesota. Hey, hey, weed Man?
What's red and bad for your teeth? What a brick?

(36:11):
That's uh Bill Billy Mike sent that one in. What
is the one thing that weed Man doesn't suck at?
What he will never suck seed? Ever? That's Surfer Todd
the comedians right over weed Man said, what what does

(36:35):
what do Eagle fans and weed Man have in common?
What are they have in common? They're a bunch of
pole greasing losers. Wow, that's the best. That's not nice,
Tony's great. Any any other jokes over there? Coop? Anything
else negative? All right? Why was Doc Mike? We'll move

(36:58):
on from weed Man. Why was Doc Mike disap pointed
with the Super Bowl? Why was he disappointed they were
not serving his drink of choice from the Wienermobile? He
was very upset by that. That's Chip from the Queues
who sent that one in? What do you call listening
to Andrew of the Sports Sorceress for two days in
a row? What do you call that? You call it

(37:19):
ear drum in retrograde is what you call? These guys
are vicious? Man? What kind what kind of dog has
a problem with with humping people's legs? What kind of dog?
For dog? And that's true, that's Chris who sent that

(37:42):
one in Jet who fled is so arrogant. He's so arrogant.
He's always acting all high and mighty high and might
have justin in DC. And I think we'll leave it there.
There it is big Man's lane chokes in the week
think all you got, guys, great job with the lame
jokes every week. You guys out to yourself. Thanks weed Man.

(38:07):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. I
think we should have the Coop Scoop on entertainment right now.
Hooray for Holly, Ray for Holly. Would so let's get
over to Google loop. What are you gonna be watching
this weekend? There's no there's no NBA. They got the
All Star gameber who cares about that? So what else?
Is going on this weekend, Google Loop, well ben over

(38:28):
in theaters. This weekend we have the premiere of Aunt
Man in the Wasp Quantum Mania. I know you're super
stoked about that. I can't wait. I'm lining up right
now after the show, I'll be waiting in line. Yeah,
I don't believe you, and I won't either, because I'm
just man, I just I don't know, is it yeah?

(38:49):
Is it ever gonna get? Eddie's not here so we
can bash the Marvel movies without him getting all upset
about going to watch that today already seen. You're probably right,
I just man, it's just like it's too many at
this point. It's just too many for rell, for real,
for real, you can't can't keep up. It's too much.
When I was eating, when I was fat, you know,

(39:11):
you too much even you gotta eat a little bit.
There's no self control. I watched the first Iron Man.
I never watched any other Marvel movies. You don't need. Yeah,
I watched more than that, but yeah, still, I mean
I watched and don't matter like I watched. I'm no,
it's not Marvel, but I watched like Harry Potter, the
original Harry. I don't watch any other movies. Yeah, I didn't. Okay,
watch the first Harry Potter. I didn't. Harry Potter is great,

(39:33):
and it's like, you don't need to make seven movies. Okay,
you don't need to do And I watched like Star
Wars the first three. I'm out. That's it. The original
first Yeah, the original three? Back in the older all
about it? Anyway, we'll batch Marvel all the time, but
the Star Wars and Harry Potter and stop its wag.

(40:00):
That's good job, good job, you've never you've never watched
Star Wars. Turn your mic off. I've only seen the
new ones. I've never seen the original. Oh my, that's
even worse than Roberto. That's a good job by Mons.
He's a Clipper fan. If he's only seen the original,
that's a solid job by you. Yes, anyway, moving on

(40:21):
to television this weekend. Um, Normally I wouldn't mention this
in a coop scoop and entertainment because it's on network TV.
But netword, I know it's awful. Boomer, yeah exactly, But
I do want to mention this because no, because there
was about I don't know the five thousand commercials for

(40:43):
this during the Super Bowl on Fox, the new show
Animal Control with Joel McHale. Uh. Now, I just I'm
throwing this out here, doing Croop scoop because if any
of you listen listeners watch that, you know, let me
let me know how it is. I'm curious because I
was watching the Super Bowl and I saw the the
you know, the different previews and the commercials, and I'm like,
guaranteed that gets canceled after like two seasons. But then again,

(41:08):
it's Joel McHale, so that's probably just par for the course.
Did you did you see? And this is off topic,
I apologize, but did you see the two be commercial?
Remember during the rabbit whole one? Yeah, people were freaking out.
They were like, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's funny. All right.
Moving on to later in the week, actually actually today today, Uh,

(41:32):
a couple of new things from Apple TV plus, which
is one of my favorite and one of the you know,
top growing streaming networks. First, we have these streaming networks
you have right now, Coop, how many do I pay
for or how many do I have access to? Oh,
I'm gonna tell people Netflix about that, Coop. I pay
for Netflix, so I'm not worried about that. I know. Yes,

(41:52):
I say you have four streaming services? Are you? Are
you talking about what I pay for? What? I pay
for two? But you have access to two other ones? No,
I have a lot more than that. I pay for Netflix,
I pay for Disney Plus, I pay for HBO Max,
and I pay for Showtime. Wow. You pay for four? Yeah?

(42:14):
Oh and Apple TV Plus so I guess that's yeah,
how many other ones? And then I use my mom's
Hulu and Amazon Prime seven? Yeah? Yeah much? Why do
you have time to watch all that? Well, you know
I have to. I have to. I have to prep

(42:35):
for this segment. I understand exactly. Oh, I mean if
if we should all be writing off our our TV
bills and in this industry, yes, how do I jump
on that? The irs and see what they say? Anyway? Um? So,
on Apple TV Plus today is a new series. It's

(42:58):
called Hello Tomorrow, and it's kind of like a retro
future drama y and this one stars Billy crudup crudup
Um and Hank Azaria And basically they are part of
a group of traveling salesman that pitch time shares on
the moon. Yeah. So uh yeah, it should be interesting

(43:21):
I saw I watched. I got a great business idea.
How about we sell we name a grain of sand
after you? If you send me nineteen ninety nine, we
will name your own grain of sand on the mighty
Pacific Ocean. Uh and and we can do it. Why not. Yeah,
that's a great idea. Thank you. Um. Also available today
on Apple TV Plus is a new movie and this

(43:43):
is also playing in select theaters right now. It is
called Sharper and basically it follows a group of carn
artists that target New York billionaires. Julianne Moore and John
Lithgow star in this one, and it's getting pretty good
reviews from people. And that was gonna be about Darren Sharburn. No,
but that'd be that'd be an interesting watch. That's how

(44:07):
that's a true crime documentary. And then also uh, last week,
Tonight returns for their new season on HBO Sunday night
at eleven PM. And that is Coop Scoop on Entertainment