May 15, 2026 • 24 mins
Big Ben recaps the NFL Schedule Release Day and what are the biggest takeaways that we take away from each team's schedule + Big Ben’s Lame Jokes of the Week!
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Well, you gotta save the date. That's what they say,
You have to save the date.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's all about that, well dum. In the beginning of
another night of the Ben Balor Show. We are in
the air everywhere, back in the saddle again as we
crank up the boombox, and we know that life has
a lot of surface noise, and much of it is
(00:34):
overnight talk radio coast to coast, border to border, in
beyond it. I love you on the vast and spectacularly
powerful microphones of FSR ammundating live the drive as we
going to overdrive guaranteed human. I am told by the
(00:55):
company that I work for, from the world famous Fox
Sports Radio. Student were legends like Jerry in Rhode Island,
Blind Scott and Andre.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And the CommonWell.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
We had a murderers row at these Mallard meet and
grease we did in the Boston area. They all showed
up and showed out, and so many others Danny DaVita.
But what a great night they all agree, every one
of them I talked to. They all agreed that this
hour is made possible a part by our friends.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
At ty Iraq.
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For for forty years, ty Iraq has been helping customers
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never met him, and Mallard prop guy met him to
the only one missing his ferg Dog. But I've met
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me that the tire Iraq is the way to go.
They helped you out find the right tires for how,
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Speaker 2 (02:03):
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(02:31):
of the great fun we had at the Maulard meet
and greets.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It actually turned out to be three in a row.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's only supposed to be two, which I thought was
way too much and would have been way too much,
and then we did.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
A third one on top of it.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
We're gonna tell some stories throughout the night and I'll
save a lot of it for the fifth Hour podcast.
It'll be up sometime later on Friday, probably a little
later than normal because of the schedule that is rather absurd.
But that said, our lead this out. Don't bury the lead,
my man, Art, We're not going to bury the lead.
So our lead this hour from the schedule, because there's
nothing better than when you have a talk show than
(03:04):
talking about a schedule. My god, it is something that
has happened while I have been behind the microphones at
the bully pulpit at Fox Sports Radio. This thing just
popped off out of thin air, and it's now a
yearly tradition, like the Swallows returning to Capistrano or Punk
Satani Phil will he see his shadow? It's the NFL's
(03:25):
schedule release day. Did you get swept up in the excitement?
Were you feeling a little tingly because of the schedule
being announced? Now? Well, the NFL one hundred and seventh
season we are told is going to be played and
not until the end of the year, but the league's
annual prime time kickoff A game was announced. The reigning
(03:48):
champions I know, nos Tredinas had his pants around his ankles.
He was all excited about this, and JJ and Ritten
and all them. But the champion Seahawks thanks to that
generous officiating.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Let's just give Seattle to a points they didn't get. Anyway,
these move on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'll move on, I promise, just like I've moved on
from the cheating A one one thousand and two, one
thousand holes. Anyway, the Seahawks will host the Patriots. I'm
sure Diana Rossini will be watching this game. And that's
at Lumen Field there in downtown Seattley Stadium I was
barred from years ago. That'll be on September night, that's
a Wednesday on NBC. It is a rematch I am
(04:25):
told of the rather blast Super Bowl we had back
in February in northern California. It's the third Super Bowl
rematch on kickoff weekend. MO boy, that's so exciting. Nineteen
seventy and that was Carolina, that was Minnesota. Minuite Carolina
einety seven, Minnesota in casey Carolina, and Denver in twenty sixteen.
(04:46):
For you nerds, congratulations then, but wait, there's more. On Thursday,
the traditional beginning of the NFL season is usually on Thursday,
but on September tenth, and this game, I guess on Netflix,
everyone with like Dick and Dayton, guys like that'll be bitching.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
They can't get the game.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But the Rams and Niners will meet in Melbourne at
the Cricket Ground. I have no idea what that is,
but that's a thing, and so they'll be there hanging
out there. Our buddies in Australia can fill us in
on that first ever regular season game in Australia. A
lot of buzz all around. Moh, this seems like a
really big deal NFL schedule dump and that is a
(05:27):
good jumping off points. So let us discuss the question
where are you at on the hooplaw around the NFL's
schedule release day which is now taking place.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
So my thoughts on this.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I've got the dead Sea scrolls, US Marines and Vegas
style residency and we will combine all of these things
together and let it soak into.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
The skin is what we're going to do, all right.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So a, this is the vacuum of the NFL off season,
the off season hunger games, if you will, where thirty
two teams enter and absolutely zero new information leaves. We
have officially reached the peak of the Dog and Pony Show.
(06:17):
I always look at this as the peak of at
the NFL, and to their credit, I'm jealous that they're
able to pull this off. They successfully turn basic math
into a national holiday. We're talking a countdown clock to
the right live TV specials. It's like essentially a glorified
(06:38):
grocery list. I'm going to the store to buy some groceries. Okay,
let's get excited on Aisle seven. Wait a minute, is
that at I canna chunky soup on Aisle seven? But
dan over on the back aisle, you got some eggs.
Wait a minute, is that? Let us over there?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
In week nine?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh my god, there's a little lettuce. Do I see
tomato for week ten? Old goodie, we get a tomato.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Way to go.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, then there's a pineapple in week eleven. That's hard
to cut into. Yeah. Some hearto types are out there
treating the schedule like it's the dead sea scrolls.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's a calendar, that's it.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
People are acting like knowing week nine okay with Thursday
night game that suddenly changes the axis of the entire season,
the rotation of the earth. It's manufactured excitement, honest. It's
designed to fill the dead zone between the draft and
the mini camp stuff and then training camp eventure. But
the league is televising the equivalent of a coin toss
(07:40):
rehearsal and we're getting a two hour pregame nonsense and
all that. Half the analysis, of course, is pure noise,
which you could argue at all is and all we
do here in gas baggery is pure noise.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You know, the tough stench of November. Will they overcome
the beginning of the season in September? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And I always love it because having paid attention, I'm
just being somewhat grown up and watching this stuff. You
watch the NFL and you think you know, you don't know, right,
the injuries, the random variants. It will laugh right in
your face at your little strength of schedule debate by
(08:22):
not even by December, by mid November, because the quarterback
to the right gets hurt. Quarterback to the left, you know,
he has issues with some woman. He starts fallowing by
the matchups, though this is the thing. We've known them
for months since the end of the regular season. The
order is the only mystery in this in the NFL schedule,
(08:43):
and even that feels rigged for sweeps week.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Isn't you know? It's not news.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's a manifesto of nothing. But here I am partaking
in it because I'm a dope. And listen the Vikings
running out of time on their draft picks.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I found it much more electric.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Than the schedule to me. You know, back in the
day when the Vikings did that. We are all suckers
for a well timed hype video. And you want hype videos.
I mean, this is an all you can eat buffet.
Is every team a little hype videos here, there, and everywhere.
The league turned basic math, though, into some kind of
national event, and we're gonna it's gonna blow you away.
(09:25):
So every team will play seventeen games in eighteen weeks
between September ninth and January tenth, twenty twenty seven. That's
two hundred and seventy two total games played out over
one hundred and twenty three days, four months and a day.
The hardest thing about the schedule is trying to pacify
(09:46):
all of the television partners that have bankrolled what.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Is going on here?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right, This is NFL, The sugar daddy is the TV,
and so they got to please Fox, but they also
got to take care of NBC and CBA, and then
what about the Netflix and Amazon and ESPN.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They all want their share all right now meanwhile flipping
the page.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So the grumbling is something that is universal to this
particular event. And while I have paid limited attention to
the sports talk airwaves over the last couple hours, I
have just from people I'm associated with the complaints and whatnot.
Some of the feedback I get on the email, like,
for example, New England opens twenty twenty six with three
(10:29):
straight games against divisional winners.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
That's more than they faced all of last season.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
We knew that they played a soft, fluffy schedule last year,
the fluffer nutters schedule, and then comes a road trip
to Buffalo's shiny new outdoor palace. So that gives the
Patriots the hardest schedule weeks one through four since the
nineteen eighty six Randall Cuttingham Philadelphia Eagles. My god, ghastly, ghastly, Meanwhile,
(11:04):
Kansas City gets a quarterback gauntlet.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
People are freaking out about nets not until.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
The middle to late part of the year where they
have a stretch where they play Josh Allen, Matthew Stafford,
Joe Burrow, Drake May Brock Porty, Justin Herbert like consecutively,
which like.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, can good news play some good teams?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And the Jags from week four to week sixteen people
freaking out.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
They barely see beautiful Jacksonville, Holy Angry Bill. Seven road games,
two London games, one bye week and just three home dates.
All right, So the question, give me your message to
the fans who are grumbling, and this is just a
small example.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
The Arizona Cardinals have the toughest schedule, or depending on
what metric you.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Look at and anyway, so give me your message.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
To the fan who is grumbling about having a difficult
part to the scale. So my first reaction is, booooo,
stop your rebelly aching.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Every team in the NFL, as we said, they play
seventeen games.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
You're not special to the dopes currently presiding as members
of the Church of Victimhood. We've all heard today's sermon,
why us okay tough enough?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Time to act more like the US Marines there and
just embrace the sock and you have a tough schedule.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Hoorah. That's what they say over the Marines.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
That's where grown teams are made, right, That's where you
don't run from the challenge.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You run towards it. And you can get a little
mud under your fingernails.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
And celebrate the fact that overcame a tough schedule because
a real NFL team is supposed to it's not. This
schedule is not supposed to smell like lavender. It's supposed
to smell like a like a trash shoot at the
end of the week without being cleaned.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
The struggle makes for a better story anyway.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
If you want easy, go play pickleball somewhere, knock yourself out,
play some pickup.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. At
least that's supposed to be the way. And it's like
the whole sport.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
They always bragged about that back in the day, and
the cliche about pressure making diamonds.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And of course in this case, I guess it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Exposes frauds and good teams should not be like, oh
my god, we've got the gauntlet Like, no, you treat
it like a toothpick and you sharpen your teeth on it,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
You quit your whining and get on with it. Meanwhile,
last word, so moving forward, Well, I am very cynical,
as you may know. Night by night here.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
The one thing that stands out there is one thing
that I have long said is the only meaningful takeaway
from all of this. So that is the question, what
is the biggest thing, or maybe even the only thing
that we take away from the annual right of passage
The NFL's schedule in this case for twenty twenty six.
(14:00):
But those of you in the back of the room
that have not been paying attention to the NFL schedule
is not so much a calendar.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It's kind of like flashing back to high school.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Think of it like the high school cafeteria map, where
the NFL tells us exactly which table the cool kids
are out, and then who gets shoved into the basement. Now,
I was always in the basement when I was in
high school. I don't know about you, so I never
got to sit with the cool kids. But this isn't
about fairness in this case. The NFL always like to say,
oh about fairness. It's not about fairness. It's a popularity
(14:30):
contest designed to separate the watchables from the unwatchables.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Okay, and if your team is.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Among the low five I'm talking Jets, Titans, Raiders, Cardinals
or Dolphins, congratulations because you have been handed a scarlet
letter and a dunce cap. Zero primetime games. And this
is inconceivable if you're of a certain age and you
recall the glory days of the Raiders and the Dolphin,
(15:00):
that we have now reached rock bottom after all these
years of product that was covered in feces. Finally, the
Raiders and Dolphins together zero primetime games. And the the
Jets have always sucked, The Titans have been pretty bad,
the Cardinals are the worst of the worst. But zero
primetime games. That is the NFL screaming on top of
(15:22):
the building that you are bad TV. You are so
bad that a test pattern would likely pull better ratings
than putting a raidered Dolphin game on television.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
That's how bad you are.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Meanwhile, the haves are living in luxury. They're in the
presidential suite. Teams like Green Bay, Kansas City, Buffalo, and
Seattle are the Darlings.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
They have six games apiece.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
However, the true king of the Nielsen Needle, not the
Space needle, the Nielsen Needle.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You know who the real glamour team is? You probably think, well,
the Dallas Colvin. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
The team the television is picked as the King of
the Hill. A number one most popular in the entire
National Football League, the La Rams.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You can ram it all day and you can ram
it all night.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
The Rams with Matthew Stafford and Puka Nakua seven primetime slots.
Sean mcvagy's team has secured a Vegas style residency on
the boob too that covers forty one percent of their season.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
And oh, by the way, it's a record, tied for
the record.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And there's always a chance the Rams will got an
extra primetime game late in the year, So we're possibly
half almost half, not quite, but almost half THEIRS games
will be in primetime. The message is loud and cleared.
The Rams are the most important team in the NFL.
This year, the Rams moved the needle yet again, another
win for the Rams the NFL. They didn't necessarily build
(16:51):
a schedule, They curated a VIP list and if you're
on it, congratulations, right and if you're not on there.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Well you're probably just a nobody. So it's just the
way it is, all right. It is the Ben Malord Show.
We are back.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
We have some stories to tell, some people to thank
for the great event that we had over the weekend
in Boston.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Took some extra time off. I'll explain why. For those
of you that are not.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Real p ones, fake p ones that don't listen to
the Fifth Hour podcast. I laid everything out I thought
on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But I always love when I do something like this
and I leave information out on.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
The podcast because it exposes those that are fraudulent. They'd
only listen to the radio show and don't listen to
the podcast because you know everything.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
You know all the details I don't like. I don't
heighte it. I just save it for that, just for
the real p one.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Plus, I want you to download my fledgling podcast, The
Fifth Hour.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
But I'll explain to all of that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We'll take your calls eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
That's eight seven seven nine nine six six three six'.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Nine if you'd like to be part of the, program
to some calls, here some random, calls who's going to,
call and you never know who's going to call. In
we've got the big status of returning to the. Box
this is now a. Thing returning to the. Box what
is that all? About we'll get to it and we
(18:13):
will do it.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
Meler show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm pacific
On Fox Sports radio and The iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
App, hey this Is jason.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
McIntyre join me every weekday morning on my, Podcast Straight
fire With jason. McIntyre this isn't your typical sports pod pushing.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
The same tired narratives down your throat every.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Day Straight fire gives you honest opinions on all the
biggest sports, headlines accurate stats to help.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
You win big at the, sportsbook and all the best.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Guests do yourself a favor and listen To Straight fire
With jason McIntyre on The iHeartRadio, App Apple, podcasts or
wherever you get your.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Podcasts Knock, Knock who's?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
There blame, Weed blame we. Too It's Big man's lame
joke of the. Week all right, now the MAN i
Am matt WHO i had a great. TIME i gotta
hang out With. Matt he's been a big fan of the,
show And matt's been.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Listening says she was a. KIDDY i hung out with
him And.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Wooster it was, awesome And matt offered to fly Weed
man in and we made.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It was great to see a weed man.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Hippie i'm so happy that you took the offer and
you flew up The boston.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Man was it.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Great we had a wonderful. TIME i hope you had
a good. Time he didn't smoke any weed while you were.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
There or drink, anything, though very. Odd so come, on the,
guy the nice, guy to show me. Candy please send
me more.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Candy you never remember his. Name, no that's not all,
Right oh my, god we all, right here we.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Go oh my, GOD i have a spot genious. Joke
you can send him more candy because he.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Has, yeah That's, Lisa lisa with the First joe right. There, Lisa,
yes but you.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
TOO i want you to. Know you were both talked.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
About people with the meat and greet In boston were,
like where's weed man?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
HIPPIE i, said, no, no, No, lisa no weed man. Hippie not.
Here but let's get to the.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Jokes these are actual jokes by actual, listeners unlike, Well
lisa is a. Listener she called in with Weed. Men
So noah In, austin what's that made me? Laugh, okay,
yes we'll try.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
To make you. Laugh noah In, Austin. Texas?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Right, sinceys why is Weed man immune to the? Hantavirus?
Why because he's been living around rats for? Years all,
right what what happens when Weed man gets really really?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Stoned what he blanks? Out he blanks? Out is what
you that's from eat In, Roseville? Minnesota all?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Right did you hear that Weed man And hppy got
a job working as a scientist for a pet food.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Company? Wow?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Cool? Really, yeah it was really good, news Except georgia And,
Uvalde texas reminds us that unfortunately the dog ate your.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Homework so it's it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Thing if you would like to send, jokes It's Ben
Malor show at gmail dot com if you want to
send jokes in and Weed man will laugh at pretty much.
Everything at this, point what did Weed Man hippie do
when his cardboard box house got?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Flooded?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Oh, no what DID i?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Do you move to higher? Ground Weed? Man what you?
Did It's.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Darryl darryl and The ozark sent that one. In, well
big news, here. SURPRISING i don't know if you heard about.
This Weed man has Replaced Kirk signetti as the pace car.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Driver for The indy five. Hundred eh wow really.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah apparently the move the move was way made to
get more woke people to tune. In Weed man, Said google.
Me i'm a high, achiever very high. Achiever Some Tom
tom And indiana sent that one in to here That
Mike rabel also reached out to Weed man. Hippy. Yeah,
(22:18):
Yeah now that Weed man has an, Apartment rabel wants
to sublet his old cardboard.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Box SO i don't if you're allow that or.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Not Joe joe And Virginia beach sent that one. In,
well if Weed Man hippie drank, beer what would his
first choice? Be?
Speaker 1 (22:35):
What, well he'd be living The miller high life is
what he was.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Doing That's.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Darryl what was your what was your favorite? Beer Weed?
Man when you drank beer back.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
In the, day you remember?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Something, wow you're dating, yourself Weed man is what you?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Am?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah all? Right why did? NO i don't even ad
made it in? Years why didn't Weed man fly To.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Boston, Why, well apparently the airline tickets were too, high
is what they.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Were that's, Uh Michael leperkun was a.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Joke there's a theme of these. Jokes who is Weed
man's favorite football? Player well it's A dante High, tower of.
Course that's a mie From Parts. Unknown why why did
why did Blind scott have twelve drinks at The Mighty
squirrel tap?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Room?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Why because it was, Free that's.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Why that's.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
True after after twelve, drinks how did Blind scott feel.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Blind? Drunk is how he? Felt Weed. Man That's mike,
again did a great, Job Michael lepperkun.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Hosting Is why why Did marcel And brooklyn get upset
his socks get upset doing his socks in the? Laundry
why because every thing was a mismatch and he was
very bothered by.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
That That's. Mike there you.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Go Lucky tony wrote in, uh what Is delante west
Favorite godfather? Quote why take the? Canole take the? Canole
that is his? Favorite joe take your weak man And
lisa love you.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Both be safe. Kids there they.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Go
Well, you gotta save the date. That's what they say,
You have to save the date.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's all about that, well dum. In the beginning of
another night of the Ben Balor Show. We are in
the air everywhere, back in the saddle again as we
crank up the boombox, and we know that life has
a lot of surface noise, and much of it is
(00:34):
overnight talk radio coast to coast, border to border, in
beyond it. I love you on the vast and spectacularly
powerful microphones of FSR ammundating live the drive as we
going to overdrive guaranteed human. I am told by the
(00:55):
company that I work for, from the world famous Fox
Sports Radio. Student were legends like Jerry in Rhode Island,
Blind Scott and Andre.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And the CommonWell.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
We had a murderers row at these Mallard meet and
grease we did in the Boston area. They all showed
up and showed out, and so many others Danny DaVita.
But what a great night they all agree, every one
of them I talked to. They all agreed that this
hour is made possible a part by our friends.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
At ty Iraq.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
For for forty years, ty Iraq has been helping customers
like alf I met him as well. Alf the Iliono
Pier is a real person unless he's not. Ferd Dog
never met him, and Mallard prop guy met him to
the only one missing his ferg Dog. But I've met
them all and now everyone else, and they all tell
me that the tire Iraq is the way to go.
They helped you out find the right tires for how,
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what and where. They drive ship fast and freeback by
free road hazard protection with convenient installation options like mobile
tire installation tire act dot com the way tire buying.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Should be all right. And then it was also I
think I'm trying to remember who exactly it was.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It told me they said, Hey, Wee Bowl, it's time
to get your financial portfolio game ready.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
With Wee Bowl, get.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Powerful investing tools in real time data, all in one platform.
Get started by downloading the Wee Bowl app today or
visiting we bowl dot com we Bowl Financial LLC remember
sip C finrah Investing involves risks. For moreformation, visit we
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(02:31):
of the great fun we had at the Maulard meet
and greets.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It actually turned out to be three in a row.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's only supposed to be two, which I thought was
way too much and would have been way too much,
and then we did.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
A third one on top of it.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
We're gonna tell some stories throughout the night and I'll
save a lot of it for the fifth Hour podcast.
It'll be up sometime later on Friday, probably a little
later than normal because of the schedule that is rather absurd.
But that said, our lead this out. Don't bury the lead,
my man, Art, We're not going to bury the lead.
So our lead this hour from the schedule, because there's
nothing better than when you have a talk show than
(03:04):
talking about a schedule. My god, it is something that
has happened while I have been behind the microphones at
the bully pulpit at Fox Sports Radio. This thing just
popped off out of thin air, and it's now a
yearly tradition, like the Swallows returning to Capistrano or Punk
Satani Phil will he see his shadow? It's the NFL's
(03:25):
schedule release day. Did you get swept up in the excitement?
Were you feeling a little tingly because of the schedule
being announced? Now? Well, the NFL one hundred and seventh
season we are told is going to be played and
not until the end of the year, but the league's
annual prime time kickoff A game was announced. The reigning
(03:48):
champions I know, nos Tredinas had his pants around his ankles.
He was all excited about this, and JJ and Ritten
and all them. But the champion Seahawks thanks to that
generous officiating.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Let's just give Seattle to a points they didn't get. Anyway,
these move on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'll move on, I promise, just like I've moved on
from the cheating A one one thousand and two, one
thousand holes. Anyway, the Seahawks will host the Patriots. I'm
sure Diana Rossini will be watching this game. And that's
at Lumen Field there in downtown Seattley Stadium I was
barred from years ago. That'll be on September night, that's
a Wednesday on NBC. It is a rematch I am
(04:25):
told of the rather blast Super Bowl we had back
in February in northern California. It's the third Super Bowl
rematch on kickoff weekend. MO boy, that's so exciting. Nineteen
seventy and that was Carolina, that was Minnesota. Minuite Carolina
einety seven, Minnesota in casey Carolina, and Denver in twenty sixteen.
(04:46):
For you nerds, congratulations then, but wait, there's more. On Thursday,
the traditional beginning of the NFL season is usually on Thursday,
but on September tenth, and this game, I guess on Netflix,
everyone with like Dick and Dayton, guys like that'll be bitching.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
They can't get the game.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But the Rams and Niners will meet in Melbourne at
the Cricket Ground. I have no idea what that is,
but that's a thing, and so they'll be there hanging
out there. Our buddies in Australia can fill us in
on that first ever regular season game in Australia. A
lot of buzz all around. Moh, this seems like a
really big deal NFL schedule dump and that is a
(05:27):
good jumping off points. So let us discuss the question
where are you at on the hooplaw around the NFL's
schedule release day which is now taking place.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
So my thoughts on this.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I've got the dead Sea scrolls, US Marines and Vegas
style residency and we will combine all of these things
together and let it soak into.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
The skin is what we're going to do, all right.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So a, this is the vacuum of the NFL off season,
the off season hunger games, if you will, where thirty
two teams enter and absolutely zero new information leaves. We
have officially reached the peak of the Dog and Pony Show.
(06:17):
I always look at this as the peak of at
the NFL, and to their credit, I'm jealous that they're
able to pull this off. They successfully turn basic math
into a national holiday. We're talking a countdown clock to
the right live TV specials. It's like essentially a glorified
(06:38):
grocery list. I'm going to the store to buy some groceries. Okay,
let's get excited on Aisle seven. Wait a minute, is
that at I canna chunky soup on Aisle seven? But
dan over on the back aisle, you got some eggs.
Wait a minute, is that? Let us over there?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
In week nine?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh my god, there's a little lettuce. Do I see
tomato for week ten? Old goodie, we get a tomato.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Way to go.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, then there's a pineapple in week eleven. That's hard
to cut into. Yeah. Some hearto types are out there
treating the schedule like it's the dead sea scrolls.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's a calendar, that's it.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
People are acting like knowing week nine okay with Thursday
night game that suddenly changes the axis of the entire season,
the rotation of the earth. It's manufactured excitement, honest. It's
designed to fill the dead zone between the draft and
the mini camp stuff and then training camp eventure. But
the league is televising the equivalent of a coin toss
(07:40):
rehearsal and we're getting a two hour pregame nonsense and
all that. Half the analysis, of course, is pure noise,
which you could argue at all is and all we
do here in gas baggery is pure noise.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You know, the tough stench of November. Will they overcome
the beginning of the season in September? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And I always love it because having paid attention, I'm
just being somewhat grown up and watching this stuff. You
watch the NFL and you think you know, you don't know, right,
the injuries, the random variants. It will laugh right in
your face at your little strength of schedule debate by
(08:22):
not even by December, by mid November, because the quarterback
to the right gets hurt. Quarterback to the left, you know,
he has issues with some woman. He starts fallowing by
the matchups, though this is the thing. We've known them
for months since the end of the regular season. The
order is the only mystery in this in the NFL schedule,
(08:43):
and even that feels rigged for sweeps week.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Isn't you know? It's not news.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's a manifesto of nothing. But here I am partaking
in it because I'm a dope. And listen the Vikings
running out of time on their draft picks.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I found it much more electric.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Than the schedule to me. You know, back in the
day when the Vikings did that. We are all suckers
for a well timed hype video. And you want hype videos.
I mean, this is an all you can eat buffet.
Is every team a little hype videos here, there, and everywhere.
The league turned basic math, though, into some kind of
national event, and we're gonna it's gonna blow you away.
(09:25):
So every team will play seventeen games in eighteen weeks
between September ninth and January tenth, twenty twenty seven. That's
two hundred and seventy two total games played out over
one hundred and twenty three days, four months and a day.
The hardest thing about the schedule is trying to pacify
(09:46):
all of the television partners that have bankrolled what.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Is going on here?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right, This is NFL, The sugar daddy is the TV,
and so they got to please Fox, but they also
got to take care of NBC and CBA, and then
what about the Netflix and Amazon and ESPN.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They all want their share all right now meanwhile flipping
the page.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
So the grumbling is something that is universal to this
particular event. And while I have paid limited attention to
the sports talk airwaves over the last couple hours, I
have just from people I'm associated with the complaints and whatnot.
Some of the feedback I get on the email, like,
for example, New England opens twenty twenty six with three
(10:29):
straight games against divisional winners.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
That's more than they faced all of last season.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
We knew that they played a soft, fluffy schedule last year,
the fluffer nutters schedule, and then comes a road trip
to Buffalo's shiny new outdoor palace. So that gives the
Patriots the hardest schedule weeks one through four since the
nineteen eighty six Randall Cuttingham Philadelphia Eagles. My god, ghastly, ghastly, Meanwhile,
(11:04):
Kansas City gets a quarterback gauntlet.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
People are freaking out about nets not until.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
The middle to late part of the year where they
have a stretch where they play Josh Allen, Matthew Stafford,
Joe Burrow, Drake May Brock Porty, Justin Herbert like consecutively,
which like.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, can good news play some good teams?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And the Jags from week four to week sixteen people
freaking out.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
They barely see beautiful Jacksonville, Holy Angry Bill. Seven road games,
two London games, one bye week and just three home dates.
All right, So the question, give me your message to
the fans who are grumbling, and this is just a
small example.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
The Arizona Cardinals have the toughest schedule, or depending on
what metric you.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Look at and anyway, so give me your message.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
To the fan who is grumbling about having a difficult
part to the scale. So my first reaction is, booooo,
stop your rebelly aching.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Every team in the NFL, as we said, they play
seventeen games.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
You're not special to the dopes currently presiding as members
of the Church of Victimhood. We've all heard today's sermon,
why us okay tough enough?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Time to act more like the US Marines there and
just embrace the sock and you have a tough schedule.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Hoorah. That's what they say over the Marines.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
That's where grown teams are made, right, That's where you
don't run from the challenge.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You run towards it. And you can get a little
mud under your fingernails.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
And celebrate the fact that overcame a tough schedule because
a real NFL team is supposed to it's not. This
schedule is not supposed to smell like lavender. It's supposed
to smell like a like a trash shoot at the
end of the week without being cleaned.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
The struggle makes for a better story anyway.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
If you want easy, go play pickleball somewhere, knock yourself out,
play some pickup.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. At
least that's supposed to be the way. And it's like
the whole sport.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
They always bragged about that back in the day, and
the cliche about pressure making diamonds.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And of course in this case, I guess it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Exposes frauds and good teams should not be like, oh
my god, we've got the gauntlet Like, no, you treat
it like a toothpick and you sharpen your teeth on it,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
You quit your whining and get on with it. Meanwhile,
last word, so moving forward, Well, I am very cynical,
as you may know. Night by night here.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
The one thing that stands out there is one thing
that I have long said is the only meaningful takeaway
from all of this. So that is the question, what
is the biggest thing, or maybe even the only thing
that we take away from the annual right of passage
The NFL's schedule in this case for twenty twenty six.
(14:00):
But those of you in the back of the room
that have not been paying attention to the NFL schedule
is not so much a calendar.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It's kind of like flashing back to high school.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Think of it like the high school cafeteria map, where
the NFL tells us exactly which table the cool kids
are out, and then who gets shoved into the basement. Now,
I was always in the basement when I was in
high school. I don't know about you, so I never
got to sit with the cool kids. But this isn't
about fairness in this case. The NFL always like to say,
oh about fairness. It's not about fairness. It's a popularity
(14:30):
contest designed to separate the watchables from the unwatchables.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Okay, and if your team is.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Among the low five I'm talking Jets, Titans, Raiders, Cardinals
or Dolphins, congratulations because you have been handed a scarlet
letter and a dunce cap. Zero primetime games. And this
is inconceivable if you're of a certain age and you
recall the glory days of the Raiders and the Dolphin,
(15:00):
that we have now reached rock bottom after all these
years of product that was covered in feces. Finally, the
Raiders and Dolphins together zero primetime games. And the the
Jets have always sucked, The Titans have been pretty bad,
the Cardinals are the worst of the worst. But zero
primetime games. That is the NFL screaming on top of
(15:22):
the building that you are bad TV. You are so
bad that a test pattern would likely pull better ratings
than putting a raidered Dolphin game on television.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
That's how bad you are.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Meanwhile, the haves are living in luxury. They're in the
presidential suite. Teams like Green Bay, Kansas City, Buffalo, and
Seattle are the Darlings.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
They have six games apiece.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
However, the true king of the Nielsen Needle, not the
Space needle, the Nielsen Needle.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You know who the real glamour team is? You probably think, well,
the Dallas Colvin. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
The team the television is picked as the King of
the Hill. A number one most popular in the entire
National Football League, the La Rams.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You can ram it all day and you can ram
it all night.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
The Rams with Matthew Stafford and Puka Nakua seven primetime slots.
Sean mcvagy's team has secured a Vegas style residency on
the boob too that covers forty one percent of their season.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
And oh, by the way, it's a record, tied for
the record.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And there's always a chance the Rams will got an
extra primetime game late in the year, So we're possibly
half almost half, not quite, but almost half THEIRS games
will be in primetime. The message is loud and cleared.
The Rams are the most important team in the NFL.
This year, the Rams moved the needle yet again, another
win for the Rams the NFL. They didn't necessarily build
(16:51):
a schedule, They curated a VIP list and if you're
on it, congratulations, right and if you're not on there.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Well you're probably just a nobody. So it's just the
way it is, all right. It is the Ben Malord Show.
We are back.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
We have some stories to tell, some people to thank
for the great event that we had over the weekend
in Boston.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Took some extra time off. I'll explain why. For those
of you that are not.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Real p ones, fake p ones that don't listen to
the Fifth Hour podcast. I laid everything out I thought
on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But I always love when I do something like this
and I leave information out on.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
The podcast because it exposes those that are fraudulent. They'd
only listen to the radio show and don't listen to
the podcast because you know everything.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
You know all the details I don't like. I don't
heighte it. I just save it for that, just for
the real p one.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Plus, I want you to download my fledgling podcast, The
Fifth Hour.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
But I'll explain to all of that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We'll take your calls eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
That's eight seven seven nine nine six six three six'.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Nine if you'd like to be part of the, program
to some calls, here some random, calls who's going to,
call and you never know who's going to call. In
we've got the big status of returning to the. Box
this is now a. Thing returning to the. Box what
is that all? About we'll get to it and we
(18:13):
will do it.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
Meler show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm pacific
On Fox Sports radio and The iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
App, hey this Is jason.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
McIntyre join me every weekday morning on my, Podcast Straight
fire With jason. McIntyre this isn't your typical sports pod pushing.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
The same tired narratives down your throat every.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Day Straight fire gives you honest opinions on all the
biggest sports, headlines accurate stats to help.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
You win big at the, sportsbook and all the best.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Guests do yourself a favor and listen To Straight fire
With jason McIntyre on The iHeartRadio, App Apple, podcasts or
wherever you get your.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Podcasts Knock, Knock who's?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
There blame, Weed blame we. Too It's Big man's lame
joke of the. Week all right, now the MAN i
Am matt WHO i had a great. TIME i gotta
hang out With. Matt he's been a big fan of the,
show And matt's been.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Listening says she was a. KIDDY i hung out with
him And.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Wooster it was, awesome And matt offered to fly Weed
man in and we made.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It was great to see a weed man.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Hippie i'm so happy that you took the offer and
you flew up The boston.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Man was it.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Great we had a wonderful. TIME i hope you had
a good. Time he didn't smoke any weed while you were.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
There or drink, anything, though very. Odd so come, on the,
guy the nice, guy to show me. Candy please send
me more.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Candy you never remember his. Name, no that's not all,
Right oh my, god we all, right here we.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Go oh my, GOD i have a spot genious. Joke
you can send him more candy because he.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Has, yeah That's, Lisa lisa with the First joe right. There, Lisa,
yes but you.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
TOO i want you to. Know you were both talked.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
About people with the meat and greet In boston were,
like where's weed man?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
HIPPIE i, said, no, no, No, lisa no weed man. Hippie not.
Here but let's get to the.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Jokes these are actual jokes by actual, listeners unlike, Well
lisa is a. Listener she called in with Weed. Men
So noah In, austin what's that made me? Laugh, okay,
yes we'll try.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
To make you. Laugh noah In, Austin. Texas?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Right, sinceys why is Weed man immune to the? Hantavirus?
Why because he's been living around rats for? Years all,
right what what happens when Weed man gets really really?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Stoned what he blanks? Out he blanks? Out is what
you that's from eat In, Roseville? Minnesota all?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Right did you hear that Weed man And hppy got
a job working as a scientist for a pet food.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Company? Wow?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Cool? Really, yeah it was really good, news Except georgia And,
Uvalde texas reminds us that unfortunately the dog ate your.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Homework so it's it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Thing if you would like to send, jokes It's Ben
Malor show at gmail dot com if you want to
send jokes in and Weed man will laugh at pretty much.
Everything at this, point what did Weed Man hippie do
when his cardboard box house got?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Flooded?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Oh, no what DID i?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Do you move to higher? Ground Weed? Man what you?
Did It's.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Darryl darryl and The ozark sent that one. In, well
big news, here. SURPRISING i don't know if you heard about.
This Weed man has Replaced Kirk signetti as the pace car.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Driver for The indy five. Hundred eh wow really.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah apparently the move the move was way made to
get more woke people to tune. In Weed man, Said google.
Me i'm a high, achiever very high. Achiever Some Tom
tom And indiana sent that one in to here That
Mike rabel also reached out to Weed man. Hippy. Yeah,
(22:18):
Yeah now that Weed man has an, Apartment rabel wants
to sublet his old cardboard.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Box SO i don't if you're allow that or.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Not Joe joe And Virginia beach sent that one. In,
well if Weed Man hippie drank, beer what would his
first choice? Be?
Speaker 1 (22:35):
What, well he'd be living The miller high life is
what he was.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Doing That's.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Darryl what was your what was your favorite? Beer Weed?
Man when you drank beer back.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
In the, day you remember?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Something, wow you're dating, yourself Weed man is what you?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Am?
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah all? Right why did? NO i don't even ad
made it in? Years why didn't Weed man fly To.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Boston, Why, well apparently the airline tickets were too, high
is what they.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Were that's, Uh Michael leperkun was a.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Joke there's a theme of these. Jokes who is Weed
man's favorite football? Player well it's A dante High, tower of.
Course that's a mie From Parts. Unknown why why did
why did Blind scott have twelve drinks at The Mighty
squirrel tap?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Room?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Why because it was, Free that's.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Why that's.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
True after after twelve, drinks how did Blind scott feel.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Blind? Drunk is how he? Felt Weed. Man That's mike,
again did a great, Job Michael lepperkun.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Hosting Is why why Did marcel And brooklyn get upset
his socks get upset doing his socks in the? Laundry
why because every thing was a mismatch and he was
very bothered by.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
That That's. Mike there you.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Go Lucky tony wrote in, uh what Is delante west
Favorite godfather? Quote why take the? Canole take the? Canole
that is his? Favorite joe take your weak man And
lisa love you.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Both be safe. Kids there they.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Go
Host
Ben Maller
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