September 11, 2026 • 41 mins
Ben Maller talks about Sean McVay saying he was making no excuses for the Rams performance in Australia as they get humbled by the 49ers, Myles Garrett's debut in a Rams uniform, if there are any positive takeaways from this game for the Rams, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, paint me blue and call me a Smurf. It's
our number one of the Ben Maller Show. A reminder
that today is Friday. It's a big day, September 11th,
a very important day in American history to remember what
happened 25 years ago. I can't believe it's been 25
years since that horrific day. I've got some stories I
want to share with you about that. I've saved them
(00:21):
for the Fifth Hour Podcast, but also on the Fifth
Hour Podcast, a chance to catch up with the one
and only Ross Porter, baseball, Ross has one of the
more obscure baseball records that at this point is considered
by most people completely unbreakable. Yeah, he was a Dodger
broadcaster for many, many years, almost 30 years as a
(00:45):
Dodger broadcaster. He was handpicked by Vin Scully, has had
an amazing time. And I have a connection to Ross
because I ended up, my early days, one of my
first big jobs was co-hosting Dodger Talk and hosting that
show twice. post-game Dodger talk with Ross. So I have
some fond memories I want to share, and that'll be
on today's episode of the 5th Hour Podcast. But here
(01:05):
in hour number one, the big story of what happened
in Australia. Coach Sean McVay said that he was making
no excuses for the Rams dropping a deuce. In Aussie land,
as the Rams' performance was horrific in Australia, he also
said it was a good, humbling day for his team.
How do you interpret the words of Sean McVay? Also,
(01:28):
in addition to that, you describe edge rusher Miles Garrett's
debut in a Rams uniform. And you have something in common,
by the way, if you are listening right now and
did not play in the Cowboy game, or Cowboy game,
if you did not play in the Ram game against
the Niners, you have something in common with Miles Garrett.
I'll explain what that's all about. Also, any positives to
(01:51):
take away from the Rams getting smashed by the 49ers,
I will go Benny Brightside and give you a positive
on that performance. Also, we'll get to all that and
more right now. Here it is, our number one. Madame Ram,
what the hell was that? Welcome in the beginning of
(02:16):
another night of the Ben Maller Show as we cross
the time-space continuum in the air everywhere using audio frequency.
as we do not mince words. Coast to coast, border
to border, and beyond, on the vast and flashily powerful
(02:38):
microphones of FSR emanating live from... The roo, the kangaroo
hopping on the audio waves here. Guaranteed human from the
world-famous Fox Sports Radio studios where Alf the alien-o-piter, Ferg Dog,
(02:59):
Mal or Prop Guy, even Stevie Meatballs are all about
the Express. Hey, listen, if you work in logistics, and
I know a lot of you do, You know nothing
moves without you. Companies need skilled people now, and Express
Employment Professionals can help you find contract or full-time work
(03:19):
that fits at no cost to you. Visit ExpressPros.com, get support,
get options, and get to work. We'd like to alert
all the affiliates down the line. Coming up in hour two,
after the monologue, we will have... The return of a
full block, couple of blocks, of Benny versus the Penny.
(03:43):
That'll be coming up in hour two here, so you
want to hear that. The triumphant return of the iconic
Benny versus the Penny, years away from its home, and
it's come back to its home here. So hear that
in hour number two of the program. But we begin.
Let's see. Should I talk about baseball, basketball? No, no, no.
(04:04):
Play the hits, my man. Play the hits. Don't bury
the lead. So we head now to Australia. We go
to the future. That's right, the future. Now, I was
a little concerned. I was watching the Netflix broadcast, which
was just terrible. The actual broadcast was fine. I don't
know who does the hiring over there. Holy crap. What
(04:25):
are you doing? More on that later. I'm watching the game,
and they kept calling it, like, They didn't call Melbourne
what I thought it was. They called it by something else.
I was confused. Like, what were they doing? I didn't
really understand it. Anyway, I don't know if you watched
it or not. The NFL continuing their barnstorming movement here.
(04:48):
They love like their missionaries in the Church of Football
going out and spreading the gospel of pigskin to people
that really don't give a rat's ass about the product.
And yet they do it, and there they were, traveling
down hours and hours and hours and 8,000 miles away,
to have more football. So the Rams went down under,
(05:12):
and it's appropriate because their performance was about six feet under,
at least there on Netflix, as Brock Purdy. Brock, Brock, Brock.
Brock Purdy had not one, not two, but three touchdowns
to different 49er receivers. I'm told that's good. And the
Niners routed or rooted... The once-proud Los Angeles Rams, who
(05:36):
have their tails between their legs right now. 27-7 in
a game that was already played on Friday, even though
we watched it on Thursday. The first NFL regular season
game in Australia. Keep in mind, nobody in Australia asked
for the NFL. The NFL just said, hey, listen... We
can get some of those bloody Roos to give us
their money, so we'll try that. And that was that.
(05:58):
Purdy had a modest stat line, a modest stat line.
That's code for not all that great. 205 yards passing
against what was supposed to be one of the great
defenses in the NFL. Well, the Rams, defensively... Got a
(06:23):
lot of reps in because they couldn't get the Niners
off the field often on third down at the Millburn
Cricket Ground. They said there were 100,000 people there. 100,000 people.
The seventh largest regular season crowd in NFL history. 100,000
(06:44):
people watched that game. That's what they claim. And you know,
NFL math is a spinoff of Mallor math. It's a
version of math, but Not necessarily completely accurate. Now, if
you've heard the show over the years, you know we
have a mantra here. A rat-a-tat-tat to how we do
these things. And I have said long, long ago, and
(07:05):
I continue to maintain my position. I'm not the first.
I'm not the last. However, the better story is in
the losing locker room. And there's a lot of losers
in that Ram locker room. We hear from, let's start
with Sean McVay. McVay here, the head coach there. They
(07:26):
had all the answers there to the tests until they
changed the test at the last minute. Here is McVay
pointing out, well, blame me. I'm the guy. Blame me.
Here's McVay.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
First of all, congratulations to the 49ers. They outplayed us
in every facet. I didn't do nearly a good enough job.
This is a humbling day for us. This will define
us only if we allow it to. And today was
one of those days. And, you know, I always look
inside out. I didn't do a good enough job getting
us ready to go. There were some opportunities where maybe
the game could have flipped. But they deserve the win.
(07:59):
They were ready to go. And we'll look at it.
We'll see where we can improve and be better moving forward.
But this is a good, humbling day. This is what
can sometimes happen in sports. I love this locker room. And,
you know, the first thing that I'm going to look
at is myself. And I have to do a better
job for our group collectively. with our coaches, with our players.
And we'll look at this film and we'll get back
(08:21):
to work because clearly that's obviously what we've got to do.
And sometimes sports can humble you. And today was one
of those days I make no excuses. And, you know,
whether you want to say it's about travel, whatever, we
just weren't good enough in that window. I didn't coach
good enough. And we'll look at it and we'll move forward.
And that's where we're at right now. But it was
a great atmosphere. Give credit to the 49ers. They deserve it.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And we're all in one and we'll move forward. Okay,
so it was a version of, hey, it starts with me.
I didn't coach good enough. He tossed in the good
humbling day. Good humbling day. And you know, well, we'll
get into it. We'll just use that as a jumping
off point. So let us discuss the question. You just
heard Rams coach Sean McVay. He said, make no excuses.
(09:06):
Kind of made an excuse there at the end. for
the Rams' performance in Australia, and that this was a good,
humbling day for his football team. How do you interpret that?
So I've got my thoughts here. I've got armpits, eggalicious,
and Carl's Jr. And we will combine all of these
(09:28):
things together, and we are going to get our hands dirty.
Something the Rams didn't do, get their hands dirty. They
just didn't. Oh, my God. So Sean McVay serving up
what we call the potluck dinner of loser coaching cliches,
a version of it starts with me. We've got to execute.
(09:50):
Watch the tape. I love my guys. That whole thing.
My advice, rather than watch the tape, I would burn it.
I tell I tell it Australia has no extradition treaty.
We're leaving the tape there in Australia. And I called
the loss humbling. And Grandma checked, and Grandma called it
(10:12):
an old-fashioned butt-smacking is what Grandma called it because that's
what the Niners did. They were the more aggressive team.
They were the more physical team. They were the better
coach team. And all offseason, Sean McVay's Rams have been
treated like royalty, like the greatest invention since sliced bread.
(10:35):
In here talking about sliced bread, cue Jimbo Fisher. So
against a division rival, granted, you didn't feel like that
8,000 miles away against San Francisco, though, they were the Rams.
They were the moldy heel of the beanball bread. Nobody
wants that. Nobody wants that. They believe clearly on some level,
(10:56):
whether this was the only variable or not, it is
one of the variables that they believe the hype that
they could go out there and just roll out on
the field and that's it. And so they believed the
hype so completely, apparently, that they practically arrived expecting the
49ers to genuflect and take a knee. And the Lombardi
(11:17):
would be waiting at the baggage claim on carousel number four.
And instead, it turned out the Rams flew, what, 8,000
miles from L.A. to Australia to discover apparently they're not
quite as wonderful as they've been told by the mainstream
elites in the football media. Sean McVay, what I took
(11:39):
away from this is he's kind of subtly saying and
not saying it directly because these guys never say things directly.
Sean McVay is like, well, you know, the Rams got
caught navel-gazing and they were tongue-kissing the mirror. I don't
know how you tongue-kiss the mirror. They were smelling their
own armpits. And I wouldn't even say they were humbled.
(12:00):
I don't think the Rams were humbled. They were publicly
pantsed on another continent. That's how that was. And as
far as all the coaches say, well, you lose, you
learn from this. If teams actually learn from losing. The
Cleveland Browns and the New York Jets and the Arizona
Cardinals would be the gold standard in football because they've
(12:20):
had more life lessons from being losers than anyone else.
It's all bull crap. It's all bull crap. You know
it and I know it. And so, listen, I've got
buddies of mine that are Niner fans. Good for them. Hey,
they handed the San Francisco, handed the Rams a reality
check with insufficient funds stamped across it. And forget humble pie.
(12:43):
That wasn't humble pie. The 49ers hit them in the
face with the whole Pineapple King Bakery. Right in the face.
Right there. Boom. Now, page two. The much ballyhooed debut
of the greatest player in the NFL. That's what Mike
Tomlin called this guy. So the question, how would you
(13:06):
describe edge rusher Miles Garrett's debut in a Rams uniform?
So I watched, you know, I didn't get nothing else
going on. I didn't get no life during the week.
I'm watching this game, and I'm locked in there, you know,
(13:29):
and I didn't have much else going on. I'm just
doing my thing, me and my dog Moxie. And, you know,
watching the game, and I was like, maybe he missed
the game. Is it possible? I was thinking in my
head as I was watching the game, I was like, well,
Miles Garrett, maybe he stayed back with Aaron Donald and
they were playing like rock, paper, scissors. Or tic-tac-toe or
(13:51):
something like that? No, I don't think that happened. So seriously,
did anybody actually see him? Did you see Miles Garrett
on the field? You didn't either?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Because from where I was sitting, again, with my dog
Moxie on the sofa, Miles Garrett started his Rams career
like he was a personal trainer. It was a cardio game.
And not even a good cardio game. So the Rams
flew this man all the way around the world to
Australia and so he could become a tourist, but not
even a good tourist. His absolute biggest contribution to the
(14:25):
Rams roster in his first game as a Ram, Miles Garrett,
was simply helping the L.A. football team meet the minimum
requirement of having 11 warm bodies on defense. That's it.
Although it seemed like they were playing 10 on 11
because of his impact. We have an NFL insider. Everyone's
got an NFL insider. Our NFL insider... We had budget cuts,
(14:47):
but we have the Joker from Batman. And we asked
our NFL insider, the Joker, and checked the numbers here.
And so it was determined that Miles Garrett gave the
Rams zero, zip, zilch, and nada. That was his performance.
And forget affecting the quarterback. Miles Garrett, he couldn't even
(15:11):
affect the box score. It was eggalicious. Miles Garrett served
up farm-fresh, cage-free goose eggs on the international stage. Yeah,
that's right. You, you popped up in the box score
as much as Miles Garrett. I popped up in the
(15:31):
box score. He didn't show up. He didn't show up.
So that blockbuster trade with the Browns and you're expecting
the monster, the monster-mosh. But, boy, he reminded me of
Romeo Dobbs with the Patriots. At least Romeo Dobbs got
(15:51):
the ball. He dropped it. He didn't stop interception. But
Miles Garrett, nothing, nothing. And so they went out and
traded the Rams for a monster who decided to take
a nap. And that's that. So the Rams, they thought
they were getting Godzilla, and they received a gecko. In
shoulder pads. I don't think that was the Geico Gecko.
(16:14):
I don't know what that was. All right. Now, last word.
Putting a bow on this. Putting a bow on this. Now,
Matthew Stafford. Let's hear from Stafford. One of the big
storylines with the debate going into this game was the
travel and the 49ers got there early. They were hanging out.
They were getting involved in the local community there in Australia.
(16:35):
The Rams took the opposite. They went out, and they
talked to all the smartest people in the rooms, and
they said, oh, man, what are we doing? And all
the nerds and the geeks and the dorks all got together,
and they said, well, just leave it the last possible minute. Okay,
you're smart. You got a lot of those educational things,
so we'll do that. Why not? Okay, how'd that work out?
(16:55):
Here's Matthew Stafford asked about the travel and if that
factored in. Take a listen. I don't. You know, I
think when the ball is kicked off, we're ready to
go play. We just didn't do it at a high
enough clip today. All right, now I'm going to be
Benny Brightside here. I am going to be Benny effing Brightside.
(17:15):
I'm not just some negative gas bag. Benny effing Brightside.
All right, so any positives, any positives to take away
from the Rams getting smashed by the Niners? Yeah, so
the 49ers here treated the Rams... like a Carl's Jr.
(17:38):
Western bacon cheeseburger, charbroiled. But thank God, and I'm very
positive here, that the circadian rhythm survived. So all the
hubris about consulting the world's top sleep experts and chartering
the greatest plane ever made by man to fly to Australia.
And it turns out none of those doctors, not a
(18:01):
single one of those sleep experts, is... has any experience
playing in the nfl right they don't have any experience
in that uh and and they also have no experience
with getting your ass kicked internationally the rams lost the
football game but according to the scientists they absolutely dominated
bedtime so there's a net positive they were rested refreshed
(18:25):
and fully alert the rams for their own execution very
impressive It was a total zombie apocalypse, except these zombies
had excellent REM sleep scores. Way to go, boys. Hey,
might have lost the game. We kicked ass at sleep.
(18:48):
We kicked ass at no jet lag. No jet lag.
There you go. Glad they nailed the schedule. Would have
been really terrible. had the Rams gotten blown out while
they were tired rather than getting blown out while they
were fully awake. That would have really sucked. Another positive?
I think we ought to give it up to the
(19:09):
Rams defensive coordinator in the lineage of Don Shula, Chris Shula.
And nobody's talking about this. I don't understand what people
are talking about. Chris Shula and that Ram defense completely
neutralized 49ers viral wide receiver Dejon Love. I looked at
the box score. Dejon Love had no catches. He had
no yards. Squadouche. All right. Now, sure, it's true that
(19:33):
Dijon Love doesn't actually exist outside of social media and
some dumb women that send him money. But yet you
take the victories where you can find them.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
The Rams, they didn't beat the 49ers. Obviously, they didn't.
But they won the sleep number. performance challenge on getting
the most quality sleep. So, hey, upward and onward. Great.
Come on.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Way to go, boys. Way to go. Thank you for
wasting three hours of my time with that gutless performance.
I really do appreciate that. It is the Ben Maller Show.
If you would like to be part of this show,
you can join us right now. And remember, we have
next hour, Benny versus the Penny. So if you want
to get in as a caller this hour and then
(20:22):
the final two, we're not going to take any calls.
In hour number two, so hour one, three, and four
are all about you, mixed in with the other nonsense
that we have. 877-99-ON-FOX.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
877-996-6369.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
If you'd like to be part of the live program.
So take your calls, comments, the whole thing. And we'll
have later this hour the Who Am I game. That's
mildly exciting. That'll be coming up a little bit later.
The Bird's Eye View. The Bird's Eye View. And Oh Brother.
(21:03):
We'll mix that in with some hot glove talk. which
is always popular. We'll get to all of that, and
we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeart Radio app. Fox Sports
Radio is taking over YouTube, and you can be a
part of it.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Just go to YouTube and search Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Hit that subscribe button and smash that notification bell and
catch all the videos from your favorite shows.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Two The Ben.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we continue on,
the red-eye flight, not yet at our cruising.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Altitude, so the Fastened seatbelt sign is still emanating atop
(22:09):
the cabin if you look up there, so please keep
your seatbelts fastened. And if you have any questions, you
can hit the call button there, and then we'll come
over and answer your questions. This is our Friday show,
and that means another edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast
and a rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate... Special treat
(22:31):
on the Fifth Hour Podcast, a man that spent 28
years working with Vin Scully on Dodger broadcast and one
of the great play-by-play guys ahead of his time, Ross Porter.
My old pal from my days when I was around
the Dodgers back before they bought every good player back
when they used to lose games regularly and not win
(22:54):
the World Series every year. Yeah, so I worked with
Ross for a couple years there back in the day,
and Ross is kind enough to join me. So he'll
be on the 5th Hour Podcast. That'll drop on Friday,
later today. So check out the 5th Hour Podcast if
you don't know who Ross is. He used to call
NFL games on network TV back in the day, called
UNLV Basketball with Jerry Tarkanian, and he's had quite the run.
(23:16):
in broadcasting so he'll be on the fifth hour podcast
you want to be part of this show 877-99 on
fox that's 877-996-6369 also also on x at ben maller
that's at ben maller if you'd like to be part
of the program overnight joe writes in he's keeping the
(23:36):
tv station on the air whec without him they'd be
off the air right now, and he's there in New
York doing his thing. And he says, I can't tell
you how happy I am that Benny versus the Penny
is returning. He called it Benny versus the Coin, which
is one of the names, Ben versus the Coin. But
it's Benny versus the Penny, returning to radio, shows how
long I've been listening to you do this bit. Yes,
(23:58):
I watched it on TV, but it's better to listen
to on the radio. It is appointment radio, one of
the best things about my return to full time. That's
from Joe. Well, I agree with all that, except the
part where it's better on radio. Financially, it is much
better on television. And we're all about the financials. They
(24:18):
pay a little bit better over there on TV. So, yes,
the bank account would say you're wrong, Joe. The bank
account would say on television much better than radio because
they pay a lot more. But we're here. We're happy
to be back on then do Benny versus the Penny show.
On the radio, so we're excited about that. The Nature
(24:41):
Boy says, I really didn't like all the hugging at
the end of the game, Rams and 49ers, both teams.
I want violence. It's hard to get that when everyone's rich.
They're all rich. They all hang out with each other
in the offseason and all that. The Preller Forever account
says the McVeigh audio belongs in the Mahler Cliché Hall
(25:03):
of Fame. It was pretty good. It did not reach
the Mark Gryzolonic level, which is the gold standard. As
you know, Preller Forever, everything is measured against former Major
League Baseball shortstop Mark Gryzolonic. who, while with the Dodgers briefly, oh, no,
it wasn't even Mark. That's not Mark Grzelanik. What am
I saying? Oh, my God. What a terrible slip that is.
(25:25):
Scott Podsednik. I apologize to Mark Grzelanik, former shortstop of
the Expos and Dodgers. Scott Podsednik is the guy, White
Sox World Series hero, and he briefly played with the Dodgers,
and he gave us the gold standard. where he went
about 40 seconds with nothing but cliché, stacked on top
of cliché, stacked on top of cliché, and it was
(25:49):
absolute audio gold. And it remains, all these years later,
it remains the gold standard. Scott Podsednik. I know Lorraine
is looking that up right now to make me sound good,
and we're going to play that in a second here,
and I'm just killing time. You know it takes me
about 20 minutes. I understand. Well, I'll just keep talking here.
How do you spell Podsednik? Well, this is not the
(26:10):
spelling bee, but I believe you would spell it P-O-D-S-E-D-N-I-K.
I believe that would be podcedic. I think that's how
you spell it. Well, they're all important. We've got to
win as many as we can. A lot of baseball
to be played. Anything can happen.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
We're going to come to the yard each and every day,
battle each night, and look up at the end.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
And see where we stand.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
We know our work is cut out for us.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
We've got a lot of work to do. Hopefully we
can all come together, realize what we have here, and try.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
To get something done. That is just perfection. That's perfection. Now,
the other one that I love that is this is
more generic. This is definitely more generic. And I love
it as well. It is John McLaren. Let's see if
we can look up John McLaren in the system there.
That was a brief manager of the Seattle Mariners baseball team.
(27:00):
And like every Mariner team, they sucked. And then he
went on a rant about trying to fire the team up,
and they're sick and tired of losing. And these guys
are sick and tired of losing. You know, he went
on this whole big rant, and it was the greatest.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
We're playing our ass off every day and got nothing
to show for it. I'm tired of fucking losing. I'm
trying to get my ass beat, and so are those guys.
We're going to change this fucking shit around and get
after it.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
And only we can do it.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The fans are pissed off, and I'm pissed off, and
the players are pissed off.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
And that's the way it is.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
There's no f * * *.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Ing easy way out of this.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Can't feel sorry for ourselves.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Got to f * * * ing buckle it up and.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Get after it.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Tired of f * * * ing losing this f * * *
ing every night and we bust our a * *.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
It's got to be a total team f * * *
ing effort to turn this thing around and that's it.
The great thing about the John McLaren is it's really old,
and it would work for any sport. He doesn't say baseball.
He didn't say the Mariners. That could have been Sean McVay. Like,
let's do a little cosplay here, Lorena. Let's go to
Sean McVay postgame. Here's what Sean McVay had to say
(28:02):
about the Rams' loss.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
We're playing our ass off every day and got nothing
to show for it. I'm tired of fucking losing. I'm
trying to get my ass beat, and so are those guys.
We're going to change this around and get after it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Right.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
And only we can do it.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Fans are pissed off and I'm pissed off and the.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Players are pissed off. Everyone. And that's the way it is.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
There's no easy way out of this.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Can't feel sorry for ourselves. Got to buckle it up
and get after it.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
It's right.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Tired of losing this every night and we bust our ass.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It's got to be a total team effort. Turn this
thing around and that's it. I realize this is probably
terrible radio. I just love these classic bites. I love them.
I think you're also teaching history. It's so good. It's
so good. And the other one is the torts. Why'd
(28:55):
you lose, Coach? Well, we sucked at a time you
cannot suck, which is also generic, and that can work
for anything, which is much better than Dave Roberts. I
really liked him in that spot, which makes me want
to puke in my mouth every time somebody sucks in
a big moment. I really liked him in that spot. Well,
that doesn't really work. You see that? We sucked. And
we sucked at a time that you can't suck. Oh,
(29:15):
there's torts. That's so good. That is so great. All right,
let's go to the phones. And we go now to,
I don't know, I thought this guy might be in Australia,
but I don't believe he is. Let's go to Ernesto
in the Bay Area. Hello, Ernesto.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
Big Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
What a fantastic game.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
It's a domination situation.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Throw another lamb on the barbie.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I was looking for it. I thought you might have
gone to the game in Australia. That's a pretty big trip, though,
to go down to Australia. It's pretty far.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
I went to Melbourne a couple years ago for Australian Open,
so I didn't want to go back right away.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
But I guess the Rams didn't want to go either. Well,
apparently not. They went at the very last minute there.
So it's a long flight to go and spend a
day there and then come back. It's not ideal. Yeah,
there you go. We didn't make a bet, but I
still have that hat you sent me, Ernesto. So I'll
pay off the bet. We didn't bet on this game, though.
So you should have called up and bet on this game.
(30:13):
You should have done it.
Speaker 7 (30:14):
You should wear it just out of shame for how
they played.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
I'm not too worried about it. I think they'll be
all right. But for one day, congratulations, Ernesto. And all
my 49er friends, you can pump your chest out and
do a victory lap and take a bow.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
The 49ers are back, baby.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
They are bad. I agree. Until about week six or
seven when these guys start getting hurt because of the
electrical substation. But as long as they can, you know,
for the first, like, month, they'll be fine. After that,
you know, who knows? Healthy, they're one of the top
teams in the NFL. Nobody stays healthy. As you know, Ernesto,
nobody stays healthy. That's the problem. You've got to have
some depth.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
We're going all the way this year, Ben.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
All right, buddy. Enjoy your night, Ernesto. Thank you, buddy.
The great Ernesto. All right, buddy. There he goes. Anthony
in Anaheim. Did I mention this? I don't think I did. Says,
please do not be a morning zoo show and give
me a birthday shout out. I will not do that, Anthony.
You sold out. You decided to become a married man,
(31:18):
a family man. You're probably a grandfather by now, Anthony.
I can't give you a shout out. You sold out.
You left us in the dust. I'm not going to
wish you a happy birthday, no matter how much you beg.
Happy birthday, you old man. We're not a morning show.
We don't do that kind of thing here. We don't
do that. If you want to buy a cameo, I'm
on cameo. You can go. I'll do a shout out
(31:40):
if you want or some nonsense like that. But outside
of that, no. I'm sorry. And by the way, Anthony's
such a big shot, this guy. He's too big to
show up to these meet and greets. We were in
Vegas last couple years. No Anthony and Anna. All right?
Doesn't show up. Doesn't make the effort. So I can't
wish you a happy birthday. You don't make the effort
for the show. It's a bad job by you. The
specialist writes and says basically the Rams decided to do
(32:02):
Australia on the cheap and paid for it. They wanted
to save a couple of million dollars for their glorious leader,
Stan Kroenke, who needs money to pay for a baseball
team in Anaheim. So there were no koalas for the players,
no kangaroos or dingoes, and no recovery after a 16-hour flight. Well,
(32:24):
that's the part you're wrong at. These guys, it's that hubris.
I deal with the same bullcrap with the Dodgers. You know,
the Dodgers are so spoiled, the players on the Dodgers,
they have their own plane just for the players. They
can't be around the support staff or the other part
of the traveling party for the Dodgers. They're that elitist
over there, those schmucks with the Dodgers, that they can't
(32:44):
be with the unwashed. The Rams... They actually talk to
these geniuses who never experienced athletic competition, and they're like, hey,
how should we handle this? All right, we'll just fly
in at the last possible minute. And that's not the
only variable. It's one of the variables. It's not the
(33:08):
only variable, but my goodness. All right. Let's say hello
to let's go to Andrea, who's in Berkeley. She's the
astrology insider. And she is up next from her compound
somewhere in Berkeley. What's going on? Look at you. Welcome back, Andrea. Yes,
(33:32):
I know.
Speaker 7 (33:33):
I've had a lot of dental work to be dealing with.
So definitely wanted to put in a call. I've been
enjoying your show. I just don't always have a chance
to call in. And this was good timing with the
new moon in Virgo. And the 49ers are born June 4th, 1990. 1944.
(33:56):
So they're Gemini with Virgo rising. And that was a
nice boost to have the new moon on their rising sign. And,
you know, Purdy, December 27, 1999. He was an ambitious Capricorn,
three touchdowns. So that was really a nice game to watch.
(34:17):
I really kind of enjoyed the theme of them playing
in Australia and all that.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
I had the opposite. I had the opposite feeling watching
that game. I did not enjoy that game very much.
I don't know why. There's something about that game that
I did not really get into. I don't know what
it was. The beaches look good, but we have nice
beaches here.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Yeah, it's a different vibe, but it's just nice to
have football back and happy new football season. It's just
nice to kind of usher it in in a different way.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
And it was just exciting to see.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
More importantly, how are you doing? You doing all right?
You getting better here? You got more work to do?
But you're doing okay right now?
Speaker 7 (35:05):
Yeah, thanks for asking, Ben. It's kind of a work
in progress. Yeah, I got more dental stuff. We got
the full moon coming up on the 26th. But I
also have a tooth extraction. And you tend to bleed
more on the full moon. So I'm not sure I'm
going to keep that date. So just a lot of
moving parts to get the optimum date for more gentle work. But,
(35:30):
you know, like Ram Dass said, for wanting it to
be perfect, it never gets done. So we're going to
see what we can do to get a good date.
So we got the full moon on the 26th. We
had the new moon in Virgo today. So that was nice.
It's Virgo season. My birthday is coming up on the 17th.
So just a lot of things kind of to look
(35:55):
forward to, and it was just nice to see football
season back, and I've been enjoying your show.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
It's good to hear your voice, Andrea. Good luck with everything.
Keep us posted. Check in every once in a while
until you're all the way back.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
All right, there she goes. Virgo in service. Andrea is
her name. She never hits the panic button. You can
say hello to her. Have a fine conversation. So the
bird's eye view, 100,000 people in attendance at the 49er
Ram game in Australia. And it was played on a
cricket ground and had some of the worst seats possible.
(36:33):
This was like a throwback to the old days when
they used to build those cookie cutter stadiums in America
back in the 70s and in the 80s and whatnot.
And they were just like round bowls. Of course, cricket
played on a bigger field, so it's a larger stadium
and Several videos went viral. One of somebody who had
a front row seat for the game there and couldn't
(36:55):
see anything. I mean, it might as well have been
watching it on TV somewhere. It was terrible. There was
another shot of somebody from the upper deck, and it
looked like even if you had binoculars, you might not
be able to see anything. You talk about bird's eye view.
That was a bird's eye view. It was like you
were sitting a mile away, a mile away from the action.
(37:18):
Why would you pay money to sit a mile away
from that? There's no point in doing it. It's completely
a waste of your time. And apparently your money if
you paid for it. Alright, it is the Ben Maller Show.
Time now for the Who Am I game. And this
being the opening weekend of the NFL. We play the
Who Am I game. My 250 rushing yards are still
(37:42):
the most in NFL history in a season opening game. Again,
My 250 rushing yards are still the most in NFL
history in a season opening game. Who am I? That
is the question, the answer. We'll get to it, and
(38:02):
we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we
roll through the overnight hours. Reminder, next hour, not only
do you get a Maller monologue, you also get Benny
versus the Penny returning for the full edition. We've had
a couple of picks. By the way, point out, I
want to let all the affiliates know, 2-0 against the
spread this year had the Niners and also had the team... Well, actually,
(38:38):
not 2-0. I lied. 1-0-1. So we haven't lost yet
is what I'm trying to say. There was a push
in the Patriot game with the Seahawks, so nobody won
that game. It hit the number. So we're 1-0-1. We'll
try to keep that perfect record going here next hour.
And a reminder that today is Friday, and that means
the fifth hour podcast returns, a special chat with longtime
(39:03):
Dodger broadcaster, the great Ross Porter, who is... Well, I
don't want to give it away, but Ross is getting
up there in age, and he sounds better. I've had
athletes on that are in their 20s and 30s that
sound terrible, and Ross is up there. God love him.
He's better than these young athletes. Well, you'll hear. Fifth
(39:24):
Hour Podcast today, so check that out wherever you get
your podcasts. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Time now
for the payoff on the Who Am I game. This
is where we pretend to be somebody else, as we
call it. The aforementioned Who Am I game. Who? So
my 250 rushing yards are still the most in NFL history.
(39:47):
In a season opening game, the NFL keeps records just
for opening weekend. And this is the record. Jay Ajayi,
there's a funny name, from Femi, the Uber Eats driver.
What else do we have? Page down. Alf the Alien
O'Piner says, Bumped Benny waiting to do the Thursday spot
there in Kansas City. Yes, I got bumped from my
(40:09):
normal time on Fesco in the morning because the Chiefs owner,
Clark Hunt, called in. and would only be available when
I was supposed to be on their morning show. So
I had to get bumped for that bad job by
the Chiefs owner. I'm upset with him. I'm sure he's
annoyed by that. Adrian Peterson guessed by Andy in Lionel Lakes, Minnesota.
(40:32):
Who else do we have? Reek in Minnesota says you're
either former Viking running back Alfred Anderson or Lorena's pet cockroach.
Either one. Chance, 2% chance, is going with Miss Cleo.
That's his answer. Chiefs legend Priest Holmes, guessed by Eloy
from Compton. Who else do we have? Truck Stop Fungus
(40:53):
says John Jacob Schmidt is the answer. I think there
might have been another name there, Truck Stop Fungus.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
His name is my name, too.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Yeah, yeah. What else do we have? Let's see. Page down.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice, the legend from Kev Atomic. Alexa
Bliss from Just Josh. Lorena, what say you? I'm just
going to go with Captain America. Captain America? No, a
guy that killed two people. O.J. Simpson back in 1973
for Buffalo. O.J. Simpson, 250 yards in the opener.
Well, paint me blue and call me a Smurf. It's
our number one of the Ben Maller Show. A reminder
that today is Friday. It's a big day, September 11th,
a very important day in American history to remember what
happened 25 years ago. I can't believe it's been 25
years since that horrific day. I've got some stories I
want to share with you about that. I've saved them
(00:21):
for the Fifth Hour Podcast, but also on the Fifth
Hour Podcast, a chance to catch up with the one
and only Ross Porter, baseball, Ross has one of the
more obscure baseball records that at this point is considered
by most people completely unbreakable. Yeah, he was a Dodger
broadcaster for many, many years, almost 30 years as a
(00:45):
Dodger broadcaster. He was handpicked by Vin Scully, has had
an amazing time. And I have a connection to Ross
because I ended up, my early days, one of my
first big jobs was co-hosting Dodger Talk and hosting that
show twice. post-game Dodger talk with Ross. So I have
some fond memories I want to share, and that'll be
on today's episode of the 5th Hour Podcast. But here
(01:05):
in hour number one, the big story of what happened
in Australia. Coach Sean McVay said that he was making
no excuses for the Rams dropping a deuce. In Aussie land,
as the Rams' performance was horrific in Australia, he also
said it was a good, humbling day for his team.
How do you interpret the words of Sean McVay? Also,
(01:28):
in addition to that, you describe edge rusher Miles Garrett's
debut in a Rams uniform. And you have something in common,
by the way, if you are listening right now and
did not play in the Cowboy game, or Cowboy game,
if you did not play in the Ram game against
the Niners, you have something in common with Miles Garrett.
I'll explain what that's all about. Also, any positives to
(01:51):
take away from the Rams getting smashed by the 49ers,
I will go Benny Brightside and give you a positive
on that performance. Also, we'll get to all that and
more right now. Here it is, our number one. Madame Ram,
what the hell was that? Welcome in the beginning of
(02:16):
another night of the Ben Maller Show as we cross
the time-space continuum in the air everywhere using audio frequency.
as we do not mince words. Coast to coast, border
to border, and beyond, on the vast and flashily powerful
(02:38):
microphones of FSR emanating live from... The roo, the kangaroo
hopping on the audio waves here. Guaranteed human from the
world-famous Fox Sports Radio studios where Alf the alien-o-piter, Ferg Dog,
(02:59):
Mal or Prop Guy, even Stevie Meatballs are all about
the Express. Hey, listen, if you work in logistics, and
I know a lot of you do, You know nothing
moves without you. Companies need skilled people now, and Express
Employment Professionals can help you find contract or full-time work
(03:19):
that fits at no cost to you. Visit ExpressPros.com, get support,
get options, and get to work. We'd like to alert
all the affiliates down the line. Coming up in hour two,
after the monologue, we will have... The return of a
full block, couple of blocks, of Benny versus the Penny.
(03:43):
That'll be coming up in hour two here, so you
want to hear that. The triumphant return of the iconic
Benny versus the Penny, years away from its home, and
it's come back to its home here. So hear that
in hour number two of the program. But we begin.
Let's see. Should I talk about baseball, basketball? No, no, no.
(04:04):
Play the hits, my man. Play the hits. Don't bury
the lead. So we head now to Australia. We go
to the future. That's right, the future. Now, I was
a little concerned. I was watching the Netflix broadcast, which
was just terrible. The actual broadcast was fine. I don't
know who does the hiring over there. Holy crap. What
(04:25):
are you doing? More on that later. I'm watching the game,
and they kept calling it, like, They didn't call Melbourne
what I thought it was. They called it by something else.
I was confused. Like, what were they doing? I didn't
really understand it. Anyway, I don't know if you watched
it or not. The NFL continuing their barnstorming movement here.
(04:48):
They love like their missionaries in the Church of Football
going out and spreading the gospel of pigskin to people
that really don't give a rat's ass about the product.
And yet they do it, and there they were, traveling
down hours and hours and hours and 8,000 miles away,
to have more football. So the Rams went down under,
(05:12):
and it's appropriate because their performance was about six feet under,
at least there on Netflix, as Brock Purdy. Brock, Brock, Brock.
Brock Purdy had not one, not two, but three touchdowns
to different 49er receivers. I'm told that's good. And the
Niners routed or rooted... The once-proud Los Angeles Rams, who
(05:36):
have their tails between their legs right now. 27-7 in
a game that was already played on Friday, even though
we watched it on Thursday. The first NFL regular season
game in Australia. Keep in mind, nobody in Australia asked
for the NFL. The NFL just said, hey, listen... We
can get some of those bloody Roos to give us
their money, so we'll try that. And that was that.
(05:58):
Purdy had a modest stat line, a modest stat line.
That's code for not all that great. 205 yards passing
against what was supposed to be one of the great
defenses in the NFL. Well, the Rams, defensively... Got a
(06:23):
lot of reps in because they couldn't get the Niners
off the field often on third down at the Millburn
Cricket Ground. They said there were 100,000 people there. 100,000 people.
The seventh largest regular season crowd in NFL history. 100,000
(06:44):
people watched that game. That's what they claim. And you know,
NFL math is a spinoff of Mallor math. It's a
version of math, but Not necessarily completely accurate. Now, if
you've heard the show over the years, you know we
have a mantra here. A rat-a-tat-tat to how we do
these things. And I have said long, long ago, and
(07:05):
I continue to maintain my position. I'm not the first.
I'm not the last. However, the better story is in
the losing locker room. And there's a lot of losers
in that Ram locker room. We hear from, let's start
with Sean McVay. McVay here, the head coach there. They
(07:26):
had all the answers there to the tests until they
changed the test at the last minute. Here is McVay
pointing out, well, blame me. I'm the guy. Blame me.
Here's McVay.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
First of all, congratulations to the 49ers. They outplayed us
in every facet. I didn't do nearly a good enough job.
This is a humbling day for us. This will define
us only if we allow it to. And today was
one of those days. And, you know, I always look
inside out. I didn't do a good enough job getting
us ready to go. There were some opportunities where maybe
the game could have flipped. But they deserve the win.
(07:59):
They were ready to go. And we'll look at it.
We'll see where we can improve and be better moving forward.
But this is a good, humbling day. This is what
can sometimes happen in sports. I love this locker room. And,
you know, the first thing that I'm going to look
at is myself. And I have to do a better
job for our group collectively. with our coaches, with our players.
And we'll look at this film and we'll get back
(08:21):
to work because clearly that's obviously what we've got to do.
And sometimes sports can humble you. And today was one
of those days I make no excuses. And, you know,
whether you want to say it's about travel, whatever, we
just weren't good enough in that window. I didn't coach
good enough. And we'll look at it and we'll move forward.
And that's where we're at right now. But it was
a great atmosphere. Give credit to the 49ers. They deserve it.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And we're all in one and we'll move forward. Okay,
so it was a version of, hey, it starts with me.
I didn't coach good enough. He tossed in the good
humbling day. Good humbling day. And you know, well, we'll
get into it. We'll just use that as a jumping
off point. So let us discuss the question. You just
heard Rams coach Sean McVay. He said, make no excuses.
(09:06):
Kind of made an excuse there at the end. for
the Rams' performance in Australia, and that this was a good,
humbling day for his football team. How do you interpret that?
So I've got my thoughts here. I've got armpits, eggalicious,
and Carl's Jr. And we will combine all of these
(09:28):
things together, and we are going to get our hands dirty.
Something the Rams didn't do, get their hands dirty. They
just didn't. Oh, my God. So Sean McVay serving up
what we call the potluck dinner of loser coaching cliches,
a version of it starts with me. We've got to execute.
(09:50):
Watch the tape. I love my guys. That whole thing.
My advice, rather than watch the tape, I would burn it.
I tell I tell it Australia has no extradition treaty.
We're leaving the tape there in Australia. And I called
the loss humbling. And Grandma checked, and Grandma called it
(10:12):
an old-fashioned butt-smacking is what Grandma called it because that's
what the Niners did. They were the more aggressive team.
They were the more physical team. They were the better
coach team. And all offseason, Sean McVay's Rams have been
treated like royalty, like the greatest invention since sliced bread.
(10:35):
In here talking about sliced bread, cue Jimbo Fisher. So
against a division rival, granted, you didn't feel like that
8,000 miles away against San Francisco, though, they were the Rams.
They were the moldy heel of the beanball bread. Nobody
wants that. Nobody wants that. They believe clearly on some level,
(10:56):
whether this was the only variable or not, it is
one of the variables that they believe the hype that
they could go out there and just roll out on
the field and that's it. And so they believed the
hype so completely, apparently, that they practically arrived expecting the
49ers to genuflect and take a knee. And the Lombardi
(11:17):
would be waiting at the baggage claim on carousel number four.
And instead, it turned out the Rams flew, what, 8,000
miles from L.A. to Australia to discover apparently they're not
quite as wonderful as they've been told by the mainstream
elites in the football media. Sean McVay, what I took
(11:39):
away from this is he's kind of subtly saying and
not saying it directly because these guys never say things directly.
Sean McVay is like, well, you know, the Rams got
caught navel-gazing and they were tongue-kissing the mirror. I don't
know how you tongue-kiss the mirror. They were smelling their
own armpits. And I wouldn't even say they were humbled.
(12:00):
I don't think the Rams were humbled. They were publicly
pantsed on another continent. That's how that was. And as
far as all the coaches say, well, you lose, you
learn from this. If teams actually learn from losing. The
Cleveland Browns and the New York Jets and the Arizona
Cardinals would be the gold standard in football because they've
(12:20):
had more life lessons from being losers than anyone else.
It's all bull crap. It's all bull crap. You know
it and I know it. And so, listen, I've got
buddies of mine that are Niner fans. Good for them. Hey,
they handed the San Francisco, handed the Rams a reality
check with insufficient funds stamped across it. And forget humble pie.
(12:43):
That wasn't humble pie. The 49ers hit them in the
face with the whole Pineapple King Bakery. Right in the face.
Right there. Boom. Now, page two. The much ballyhooed debut
of the greatest player in the NFL. That's what Mike
Tomlin called this guy. So the question, how would you
(13:06):
describe edge rusher Miles Garrett's debut in a Rams uniform?
So I watched, you know, I didn't get nothing else
going on. I didn't get no life during the week.
I'm watching this game, and I'm locked in there, you know,
(13:29):
and I didn't have much else going on. I'm just
doing my thing, me and my dog Moxie. And, you know,
watching the game, and I was like, maybe he missed
the game. Is it possible? I was thinking in my
head as I was watching the game, I was like, well,
Miles Garrett, maybe he stayed back with Aaron Donald and
they were playing like rock, paper, scissors. Or tic-tac-toe or
(13:51):
something like that? No, I don't think that happened. So seriously,
did anybody actually see him? Did you see Miles Garrett
on the field? You didn't either?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Because from where I was sitting, again, with my dog
Moxie on the sofa, Miles Garrett started his Rams career
like he was a personal trainer. It was a cardio game.
And not even a good cardio game. So the Rams
flew this man all the way around the world to
Australia and so he could become a tourist, but not
even a good tourist. His absolute biggest contribution to the
(14:25):
Rams roster in his first game as a Ram, Miles Garrett,
was simply helping the L.A. football team meet the minimum
requirement of having 11 warm bodies on defense. That's it.
Although it seemed like they were playing 10 on 11
because of his impact. We have an NFL insider. Everyone's
got an NFL insider. Our NFL insider... We had budget cuts,
(14:47):
but we have the Joker from Batman. And we asked
our NFL insider, the Joker, and checked the numbers here.
And so it was determined that Miles Garrett gave the
Rams zero, zip, zilch, and nada. That was his performance.
And forget affecting the quarterback. Miles Garrett, he couldn't even
(15:11):
affect the box score. It was eggalicious. Miles Garrett served
up farm-fresh, cage-free goose eggs on the international stage. Yeah,
that's right. You, you popped up in the box score
as much as Miles Garrett. I popped up in the
(15:31):
box score. He didn't show up. He didn't show up.
So that blockbuster trade with the Browns and you're expecting
the monster, the monster-mosh. But, boy, he reminded me of
Romeo Dobbs with the Patriots. At least Romeo Dobbs got
(15:51):
the ball. He dropped it. He didn't stop interception. But
Miles Garrett, nothing, nothing. And so they went out and
traded the Rams for a monster who decided to take
a nap. And that's that. So the Rams, they thought
they were getting Godzilla, and they received a gecko. In
shoulder pads. I don't think that was the Geico Gecko.
(16:14):
I don't know what that was. All right. Now, last word.
Putting a bow on this. Putting a bow on this. Now,
Matthew Stafford. Let's hear from Stafford. One of the big
storylines with the debate going into this game was the
travel and the 49ers got there early. They were hanging out.
They were getting involved in the local community there in Australia.
(16:35):
The Rams took the opposite. They went out, and they
talked to all the smartest people in the rooms, and
they said, oh, man, what are we doing? And all
the nerds and the geeks and the dorks all got together,
and they said, well, just leave it the last possible minute. Okay,
you're smart. You got a lot of those educational things,
so we'll do that. Why not? Okay, how'd that work out?
(16:55):
Here's Matthew Stafford asked about the travel and if that
factored in. Take a listen. I don't. You know, I
think when the ball is kicked off, we're ready to
go play. We just didn't do it at a high
enough clip today. All right, now I'm going to be
Benny Brightside here. I am going to be Benny effing Brightside.
(17:15):
I'm not just some negative gas bag. Benny effing Brightside.
All right, so any positives, any positives to take away
from the Rams getting smashed by the Niners? Yeah, so
the 49ers here treated the Rams... like a Carl's Jr.
(17:38):
Western bacon cheeseburger, charbroiled. But thank God, and I'm very
positive here, that the circadian rhythm survived. So all the
hubris about consulting the world's top sleep experts and chartering
the greatest plane ever made by man to fly to Australia.
And it turns out none of those doctors, not a
(18:01):
single one of those sleep experts, is... has any experience
playing in the nfl right they don't have any experience
in that uh and and they also have no experience
with getting your ass kicked internationally the rams lost the
football game but according to the scientists they absolutely dominated
bedtime so there's a net positive they were rested refreshed
(18:25):
and fully alert the rams for their own execution very
impressive It was a total zombie apocalypse, except these zombies
had excellent REM sleep scores. Way to go, boys. Hey,
might have lost the game. We kicked ass at sleep.
(18:48):
We kicked ass at no jet lag. No jet lag.
There you go. Glad they nailed the schedule. Would have
been really terrible. had the Rams gotten blown out while
they were tired rather than getting blown out while they
were fully awake. That would have really sucked. Another positive?
I think we ought to give it up to the
(19:09):
Rams defensive coordinator in the lineage of Don Shula, Chris Shula.
And nobody's talking about this. I don't understand what people
are talking about. Chris Shula and that Ram defense completely
neutralized 49ers viral wide receiver Dejon Love. I looked at
the box score. Dejon Love had no catches. He had
no yards. Squadouche. All right. Now, sure, it's true that
(19:33):
Dijon Love doesn't actually exist outside of social media and
some dumb women that send him money. But yet you
take the victories where you can find them.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
The Rams, they didn't beat the 49ers. Obviously, they didn't.
But they won the sleep number. performance challenge on getting
the most quality sleep. So, hey, upward and onward. Great.
Come on.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Way to go, boys. Way to go. Thank you for
wasting three hours of my time with that gutless performance.
I really do appreciate that. It is the Ben Maller Show.
If you would like to be part of this show,
you can join us right now. And remember, we have
next hour, Benny versus the Penny. So if you want
to get in as a caller this hour and then
(20:22):
the final two, we're not going to take any calls.
In hour number two, so hour one, three, and four
are all about you, mixed in with the other nonsense
that we have. 877-99-ON-FOX.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
877-996-6369.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
If you'd like to be part of the live program.
So take your calls, comments, the whole thing. And we'll
have later this hour the Who Am I game. That's
mildly exciting. That'll be coming up a little bit later.
The Bird's Eye View. The Bird's Eye View. And Oh Brother.
(21:03):
We'll mix that in with some hot glove talk. which
is always popular. We'll get to all of that, and
we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeart Radio app. Fox Sports
Radio is taking over YouTube, and you can be a
part of it.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Just go to YouTube and search Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Hit that subscribe button and smash that notification bell and
catch all the videos from your favorite shows.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Two The Ben.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we continue on,
the red-eye flight, not yet at our cruising.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Altitude, so the Fastened seatbelt sign is still emanating atop
(22:09):
the cabin if you look up there, so please keep
your seatbelts fastened. And if you have any questions, you
can hit the call button there, and then we'll come
over and answer your questions. This is our Friday show,
and that means another edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast
and a rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate... Special treat
(22:31):
on the Fifth Hour Podcast, a man that spent 28
years working with Vin Scully on Dodger broadcast and one
of the great play-by-play guys ahead of his time, Ross Porter.
My old pal from my days when I was around
the Dodgers back before they bought every good player back
when they used to lose games regularly and not win
(22:54):
the World Series every year. Yeah, so I worked with
Ross for a couple years there back in the day,
and Ross is kind enough to join me. So he'll
be on the 5th Hour Podcast. That'll drop on Friday,
later today. So check out the 5th Hour Podcast if
you don't know who Ross is. He used to call
NFL games on network TV back in the day, called
UNLV Basketball with Jerry Tarkanian, and he's had quite the run.
(23:16):
in broadcasting so he'll be on the fifth hour podcast
you want to be part of this show 877-99 on
fox that's 877-996-6369 also also on x at ben maller
that's at ben maller if you'd like to be part
of the program overnight joe writes in he's keeping the
(23:36):
tv station on the air whec without him they'd be
off the air right now, and he's there in New
York doing his thing. And he says, I can't tell
you how happy I am that Benny versus the Penny
is returning. He called it Benny versus the Coin, which
is one of the names, Ben versus the Coin. But
it's Benny versus the Penny, returning to radio, shows how
long I've been listening to you do this bit. Yes,
(23:58):
I watched it on TV, but it's better to listen
to on the radio. It is appointment radio, one of
the best things about my return to full time. That's
from Joe. Well, I agree with all that, except the
part where it's better on radio. Financially, it is much
better on television. And we're all about the financials. They
(24:18):
pay a little bit better over there on TV. So, yes,
the bank account would say you're wrong, Joe. The bank
account would say on television much better than radio because
they pay a lot more. But we're here. We're happy
to be back on then do Benny versus the Penny show.
On the radio, so we're excited about that. The Nature
(24:41):
Boy says, I really didn't like all the hugging at
the end of the game, Rams and 49ers, both teams.
I want violence. It's hard to get that when everyone's rich.
They're all rich. They all hang out with each other
in the offseason and all that. The Preller Forever account
says the McVeigh audio belongs in the Mahler Cliché Hall
(25:03):
of Fame. It was pretty good. It did not reach
the Mark Gryzolonic level, which is the gold standard. As
you know, Preller Forever, everything is measured against former Major
League Baseball shortstop Mark Gryzolonic. who, while with the Dodgers briefly, oh, no,
it wasn't even Mark. That's not Mark Grzelanik. What am
I saying? Oh, my God. What a terrible slip that is.
(25:25):
Scott Podsednik. I apologize to Mark Grzelanik, former shortstop of
the Expos and Dodgers. Scott Podsednik is the guy, White
Sox World Series hero, and he briefly played with the Dodgers,
and he gave us the gold standard. where he went
about 40 seconds with nothing but cliché, stacked on top
of cliché, stacked on top of cliché, and it was
(25:49):
absolute audio gold. And it remains, all these years later,
it remains the gold standard. Scott Podsednik. I know Lorraine
is looking that up right now to make me sound good,
and we're going to play that in a second here,
and I'm just killing time. You know it takes me
about 20 minutes. I understand. Well, I'll just keep talking here.
How do you spell Podsednik? Well, this is not the
(26:10):
spelling bee, but I believe you would spell it P-O-D-S-E-D-N-I-K.
I believe that would be podcedic. I think that's how
you spell it. Well, they're all important. We've got to
win as many as we can. A lot of baseball
to be played. Anything can happen.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
We're going to come to the yard each and every day,
battle each night, and look up at the end.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
And see where we stand.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
We know our work is cut out for us.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
We've got a lot of work to do. Hopefully we
can all come together, realize what we have here, and try.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
To get something done. That is just perfection. That's perfection. Now,
the other one that I love that is this is
more generic. This is definitely more generic. And I love
it as well. It is John McLaren. Let's see if
we can look up John McLaren in the system there.
That was a brief manager of the Seattle Mariners baseball team.
(27:00):
And like every Mariner team, they sucked. And then he
went on a rant about trying to fire the team up,
and they're sick and tired of losing. And these guys
are sick and tired of losing. You know, he went
on this whole big rant, and it was the greatest.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
We're playing our ass off every day and got nothing
to show for it. I'm tired of fucking losing. I'm
trying to get my ass beat, and so are those guys.
We're going to change this fucking shit around and get
after it.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
And only we can do it.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The fans are pissed off, and I'm pissed off, and
the players are pissed off.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
And that's the way it is.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
There's no f * * *.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Ing easy way out of this.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Can't feel sorry for ourselves.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Got to f * * * ing buckle it up and.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Get after it.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Tired of f * * * ing losing this f * * *
ing every night and we bust our a * *.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
It's got to be a total team f * * *
ing effort to turn this thing around and that's it.
The great thing about the John McLaren is it's really old,
and it would work for any sport. He doesn't say baseball.
He didn't say the Mariners. That could have been Sean McVay. Like,
let's do a little cosplay here, Lorena. Let's go to
Sean McVay postgame. Here's what Sean McVay had to say
(28:02):
about the Rams' loss.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
We're playing our ass off every day and got nothing
to show for it. I'm tired of fucking losing. I'm
trying to get my ass beat, and so are those guys.
We're going to change this around and get after it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Right.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
And only we can do it.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Fans are pissed off and I'm pissed off and the.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Players are pissed off. Everyone. And that's the way it is.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
There's no easy way out of this.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Can't feel sorry for ourselves. Got to buckle it up
and get after it.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
It's right.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Tired of losing this every night and we bust our ass.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It's got to be a total team effort. Turn this
thing around and that's it. I realize this is probably
terrible radio. I just love these classic bites. I love them.
I think you're also teaching history. It's so good. It's
so good. And the other one is the torts. Why'd
(28:55):
you lose, Coach? Well, we sucked at a time you
cannot suck, which is also generic, and that can work
for anything, which is much better than Dave Roberts. I
really liked him in that spot, which makes me want
to puke in my mouth every time somebody sucks in
a big moment. I really liked him in that spot. Well,
that doesn't really work. You see that? We sucked. And
we sucked at a time that you can't suck. Oh,
(29:15):
there's torts. That's so good. That is so great. All right,
let's go to the phones. And we go now to,
I don't know, I thought this guy might be in Australia,
but I don't believe he is. Let's go to Ernesto
in the Bay Area. Hello, Ernesto.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
Big Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
What a fantastic game.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
It's a domination situation.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Throw another lamb on the barbie.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I was looking for it. I thought you might have
gone to the game in Australia. That's a pretty big trip, though,
to go down to Australia. It's pretty far.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
I went to Melbourne a couple years ago for Australian Open,
so I didn't want to go back right away.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
But I guess the Rams didn't want to go either. Well,
apparently not. They went at the very last minute there.
So it's a long flight to go and spend a
day there and then come back. It's not ideal. Yeah,
there you go. We didn't make a bet, but I
still have that hat you sent me, Ernesto. So I'll
pay off the bet. We didn't bet on this game, though.
So you should have called up and bet on this game.
(30:13):
You should have done it.
Speaker 7 (30:14):
You should wear it just out of shame for how
they played.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
I'm not too worried about it. I think they'll be
all right. But for one day, congratulations, Ernesto. And all
my 49er friends, you can pump your chest out and
do a victory lap and take a bow.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
The 49ers are back, baby.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
They are bad. I agree. Until about week six or
seven when these guys start getting hurt because of the
electrical substation. But as long as they can, you know,
for the first, like, month, they'll be fine. After that,
you know, who knows? Healthy, they're one of the top
teams in the NFL. Nobody stays healthy. As you know, Ernesto,
nobody stays healthy. That's the problem. You've got to have
some depth.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
We're going all the way this year, Ben.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
All right, buddy. Enjoy your night, Ernesto. Thank you, buddy.
The great Ernesto. All right, buddy. There he goes. Anthony
in Anaheim. Did I mention this? I don't think I did. Says,
please do not be a morning zoo show and give
me a birthday shout out. I will not do that, Anthony.
You sold out. You decided to become a married man,
(31:18):
a family man. You're probably a grandfather by now, Anthony.
I can't give you a shout out. You sold out.
You left us in the dust. I'm not going to
wish you a happy birthday, no matter how much you beg.
Happy birthday, you old man. We're not a morning show.
We don't do that kind of thing here. We don't
do that. If you want to buy a cameo, I'm
on cameo. You can go. I'll do a shout out
(31:40):
if you want or some nonsense like that. But outside
of that, no. I'm sorry. And by the way, Anthony's
such a big shot, this guy. He's too big to
show up to these meet and greets. We were in
Vegas last couple years. No Anthony and Anna. All right?
Doesn't show up. Doesn't make the effort. So I can't
wish you a happy birthday. You don't make the effort
for the show. It's a bad job by you. The
specialist writes and says basically the Rams decided to do
(32:02):
Australia on the cheap and paid for it. They wanted
to save a couple of million dollars for their glorious leader,
Stan Kroenke, who needs money to pay for a baseball
team in Anaheim. So there were no koalas for the players,
no kangaroos or dingoes, and no recovery after a 16-hour flight. Well,
(32:24):
that's the part you're wrong at. These guys, it's that hubris.
I deal with the same bullcrap with the Dodgers. You know,
the Dodgers are so spoiled, the players on the Dodgers,
they have their own plane just for the players. They
can't be around the support staff or the other part
of the traveling party for the Dodgers. They're that elitist
over there, those schmucks with the Dodgers, that they can't
(32:44):
be with the unwashed. The Rams... They actually talk to
these geniuses who never experienced athletic competition, and they're like, hey,
how should we handle this? All right, we'll just fly
in at the last possible minute. And that's not the
only variable. It's one of the variables. It's not the
(33:08):
only variable, but my goodness. All right. Let's say hello
to let's go to Andrea, who's in Berkeley. She's the
astrology insider. And she is up next from her compound
somewhere in Berkeley. What's going on? Look at you. Welcome back, Andrea. Yes,
(33:32):
I know.
Speaker 7 (33:33):
I've had a lot of dental work to be dealing with.
So definitely wanted to put in a call. I've been
enjoying your show. I just don't always have a chance
to call in. And this was good timing with the
new moon in Virgo. And the 49ers are born June 4th, 1990. 1944.
(33:56):
So they're Gemini with Virgo rising. And that was a
nice boost to have the new moon on their rising sign. And,
you know, Purdy, December 27, 1999. He was an ambitious Capricorn,
three touchdowns. So that was really a nice game to watch.
(34:17):
I really kind of enjoyed the theme of them playing
in Australia and all that.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
I had the opposite. I had the opposite feeling watching
that game. I did not enjoy that game very much.
I don't know why. There's something about that game that
I did not really get into. I don't know what
it was. The beaches look good, but we have nice
beaches here.
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Yeah, it's a different vibe, but it's just nice to
have football back and happy new football season. It's just
nice to kind of usher it in in a different way.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
And it was just exciting to see.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
More importantly, how are you doing? You doing all right?
You getting better here? You got more work to do?
But you're doing okay right now?
Speaker 7 (35:05):
Yeah, thanks for asking, Ben. It's kind of a work
in progress. Yeah, I got more dental stuff. We got
the full moon coming up on the 26th. But I
also have a tooth extraction. And you tend to bleed
more on the full moon. So I'm not sure I'm
going to keep that date. So just a lot of
moving parts to get the optimum date for more gentle work. But,
(35:30):
you know, like Ram Dass said, for wanting it to
be perfect, it never gets done. So we're going to
see what we can do to get a good date.
So we got the full moon on the 26th. We
had the new moon in Virgo today. So that was nice.
It's Virgo season. My birthday is coming up on the 17th.
So just a lot of things kind of to look
(35:55):
forward to, and it was just nice to see football
season back, and I've been enjoying your show.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
It's good to hear your voice, Andrea. Good luck with everything.
Keep us posted. Check in every once in a while
until you're all the way back.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
All right, there she goes. Virgo in service. Andrea is
her name. She never hits the panic button. You can
say hello to her. Have a fine conversation. So the
bird's eye view, 100,000 people in attendance at the 49er
Ram game in Australia. And it was played on a
cricket ground and had some of the worst seats possible.
(36:33):
This was like a throwback to the old days when
they used to build those cookie cutter stadiums in America
back in the 70s and in the 80s and whatnot.
And they were just like round bowls. Of course, cricket
played on a bigger field, so it's a larger stadium
and Several videos went viral. One of somebody who had
a front row seat for the game there and couldn't
(36:55):
see anything. I mean, it might as well have been
watching it on TV somewhere. It was terrible. There was
another shot of somebody from the upper deck, and it
looked like even if you had binoculars, you might not
be able to see anything. You talk about bird's eye view.
That was a bird's eye view. It was like you
were sitting a mile away, a mile away from the action.
(37:18):
Why would you pay money to sit a mile away
from that? There's no point in doing it. It's completely
a waste of your time. And apparently your money if
you paid for it. Alright, it is the Ben Maller Show.
Time now for the Who Am I game. And this
being the opening weekend of the NFL. We play the
Who Am I game. My 250 rushing yards are still
(37:42):
the most in NFL history in a season opening game. Again,
My 250 rushing yards are still the most in NFL
history in a season opening game. Who am I? That
is the question, the answer. We'll get to it, and
(38:02):
we will do it next.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we
roll through the overnight hours. Reminder, next hour, not only
do you get a Maller monologue, you also get Benny
versus the Penny returning for the full edition. We've had
a couple of picks. By the way, point out, I
want to let all the affiliates know, 2-0 against the
spread this year had the Niners and also had the team... Well, actually,
(38:38):
not 2-0. I lied. 1-0-1. So we haven't lost yet
is what I'm trying to say. There was a push
in the Patriot game with the Seahawks, so nobody won
that game. It hit the number. So we're 1-0-1. We'll
try to keep that perfect record going here next hour.
And a reminder that today is Friday, and that means
the fifth hour podcast returns, a special chat with longtime
(39:03):
Dodger broadcaster, the great Ross Porter, who is... Well, I
don't want to give it away, but Ross is getting
up there in age, and he sounds better. I've had
athletes on that are in their 20s and 30s that
sound terrible, and Ross is up there. God love him.
He's better than these young athletes. Well, you'll hear. Fifth
(39:24):
Hour Podcast today, so check that out wherever you get
your podcasts. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Time now
for the payoff on the Who Am I game. This
is where we pretend to be somebody else, as we
call it. The aforementioned Who Am I game. Who? So
my 250 rushing yards are still the most in NFL history.
(39:47):
In a season opening game, the NFL keeps records just
for opening weekend. And this is the record. Jay Ajayi,
there's a funny name, from Femi, the Uber Eats driver.
What else do we have? Page down. Alf the Alien
O'Piner says, Bumped Benny waiting to do the Thursday spot
there in Kansas City. Yes, I got bumped from my
(40:09):
normal time on Fesco in the morning because the Chiefs owner,
Clark Hunt, called in. and would only be available when
I was supposed to be on their morning show. So
I had to get bumped for that bad job by
the Chiefs owner. I'm upset with him. I'm sure he's
annoyed by that. Adrian Peterson guessed by Andy in Lionel Lakes, Minnesota.
(40:32):
Who else do we have? Reek in Minnesota says you're
either former Viking running back Alfred Anderson or Lorena's pet cockroach.
Either one. Chance, 2% chance, is going with Miss Cleo.
That's his answer. Chiefs legend Priest Holmes, guessed by Eloy
from Compton. Who else do we have? Truck Stop Fungus
(40:53):
says John Jacob Schmidt is the answer. I think there
might have been another name there, Truck Stop Fungus.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
His name is my name, too.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Yeah, yeah. What else do we have? Let's see. Page down.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice, the legend from Kev Atomic. Alexa
Bliss from Just Josh. Lorena, what say you? I'm just
going to go with Captain America. Captain America? No, a
guy that killed two people. O.J. Simpson back in 1973
for Buffalo. O.J. Simpson, 250 yards in the opener.
Host
Ben Maller
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