July 16, 2026 • 41 mins
Ben Maller talks about Argentina's comeback against England if it was a great comeback or a monumental English choke, sportsbooks celebrating France's upset loss in the World Cup to Spain, the long-term forecast on the MLS marketing push to convert World Cup fans, the start of Mallerpalooza 2026, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom, Shacha Laca. It's our name, berwe our one of
the fun It's the Ben Maler Show, a special podcast edition.
We're gonna set all kinds of records for downloads for
the summer. It's the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six. It
kicks off this hour and we'll get to that Mallard
(00:21):
monologue to begin it. And it's the hour of the
World Cup. Was this a great Argentina comeback you saw
the game on Fox? Or a monumental English choke job
in the game in Atlanta? Also, what stands out about
these sportsbooks openly celebrating France's upset loss to the Spaniards
in the World Cup? And what is your long term
(00:43):
forecast on the MLS marketing push to convert World Cup fans.
We'll get to all of that. Also, we have amazing
performances by Andrew in Bakersfield and can't close the deal, Neil,
the big setup on the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six
will be coming your way right now here. It is
(01:04):
our number one who you want to get away? Well? Yeah,
the World Cup of the Meltdown continues. Welcome in the
beginning of another edition. Of the Ben Malor Show. We
(01:24):
are in the air e of rewaere as we shoot
the breeze we do and take you for a ride
on the wild side, coast to coast, border to border
and beyond on the vast and pleasantly powerful microphones of
FSR emmnating lives from the Palooza. It's almost here. We
(01:51):
are minutes away from the beginning of the Malor Palooza
twenty twenty six, Garanteed from the world famous Fox Sports
Radio Studios. As we hang out here together and Jason
the Diamondman reminds us this hour made possible part by
(02:12):
our friends at ty Iraq. For over forty years, tyre
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(02:35):
buying should be. And I got a message from Overnight Joe.
Now Overnight Joe keeps the TV station going there in
New York, and he listens all night to us. He
hangs out here and he said man, I really would
love if you could begin the night and you could
tie my name overnight, Joe's name in with Home Depot.
(02:55):
So we've just done that. Your dreams have come true.
You better dream better things. Upgrade, Not that we don't
love Home Depot. Upgrade your FIFA World Cup twenty twenty
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(03:16):
Home Depot Official FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six Supporter,
Subject to availability. And but wait, there's more. You think
we're not done because og Art Puffin says Ben. I
know the World Cup's been going on for a month,
there's still some dummies out there that don't know where
to watch it. Well, there's only a couple of games
(03:37):
to go now, and I recommend you get on that.
Fox one. The excitement of the FIFA World Cup is
streaming live on Fox one, the official English streaming platform
to catch every unforgettable moment. Fox one bringing the action
straight to your screen so you never miss a goal.
Download Fox one and experience the FIFA World Cup live.
(04:01):
We'll do it live that's it, and that's all. That's
all you get, right there, a little live live action.
But wait, I think in ireer, I believe that Van
the one legged Bama Man said Ben, I know people
accuse you of being all about Bull, and Van said, no, no,
you're not all about Bull, You're about we bol. So
(04:22):
it's time to get your financial portfolio game ready with
wee bul Get, powerful investing tools and real time data
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balls risks. For more information, visit we bull dot com
slash disclosures. It's a big night. We're exciting to hear.
(04:47):
It's really cool. It's really cool. There's just a little
bit of excitement. Just I mentioned it on social media.
It's awesome. Everyone's fired up in the building. I mean,
I look at the the update desk there, it looks great.
Uh down the hall those ugly gray chairs that are horrific,
they look good. I mean Lorraina brought in pizza. Yeah
(05:07):
I did. We're excited. So it's not gonna be your
normal show. Normally we have the who Am I Game,
the Inster trivia, Mallard of the Third Degree, all that stuff.
The Mallard you know, I've just put my name on
everything because I'm a loser. But we're not gonna do
all that stuff. We're gonna have the Mallard Palooza. It's here.
I'll explain everything you need to know. We've got our
celebrity judge who's gonna join us and help us get
(05:29):
through the night. And it's just gonna be a lot
of fun and we're gonna celebrate you. And I only
think everyone that's signed up and we look forward to
that and they're still we'll explain there's some wild card
slots that are available, but our beginning, and we're gonna
have the Mallard monologues because it's mandated, and then we'll
get into the Malle Polusa. So I lead this hour
(05:49):
though before the Malapaluza kicks off the World Cup, believe
it or not, I watched, Yeah I did, it was
on Fox. You better watch you in Atlanta, and there
was one slot left in the finale. Now we knew
the Spaniards had won. They upset France and so there
was one slot left and if you didn't see it,
(06:11):
perhaps not. It was a one nothing lead for England
getting late, and then England realized, wait a minute, we're
artists here, we're choke artists. And sure enough Argentina rallied
from a one nothing deficit to defeat England two to
one in the World Cup semi final. They scored twice
(06:34):
in the closing minutes. Now, I don't really watch football
other than the World Cup. I don't recall this level
of choke. It feels like we've seen more choke jobs
in this World Cup. Now I am I exaggerating that?
Or is this actually a thing? Am I just imagining this?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Well?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Either way, the team from Argentina a couple of goals
there in the closing minutes, they get to these straight
World Cup final. Lionel Messi did it again. He didn't score,
but he assisted on both of Argentina's goals there, continuing
his domination situation at age thirty nine. And so the
(07:14):
defending champions from Argentina now on Americans. So I won
win away from becoming just the third nation to successfully
defend the World Cup title. And the better story, though,
is in the losing locker room and I don't care
whether it's England Zimbabwe. I love choke. I love people
(07:35):
that choke, and boy, I guess I should move to
England with legally blind Christopher and Terry in England and
those guys and just enjoy the epic choke because the
team from England. Wait, man, counting down, you're running me
a little bit of I was in here years ago
(07:55):
there was a team called the Chicago Cubs. That's a
baseball team, not good one. And the Cubs were a
few outs away from getting to the World Series and
I think it was three and we were counting it
down and then they choked because this guy named Steve
Bartman who wore a turtleneck and headphones interfered and the
Cubs collapsed and all that. Anyway, it's a similar vibe.
So Harry Kane, the captain of England, admitted after the game,
(08:19):
obviously not during the game, that they played way too conservative.
After they took the lease up one nothing, they were
just trying to hold on and they pointed out in
the World Cup that is not that's not enough. You
can't play that way. And then some guy I've never
heard of who's the manager we like to call coach
(08:40):
of the English team there he was getting killed by
the soccer media. They were killing this guy for his
strategical decisions, his tactical changes that he made. He of
course defended that and said he had no regrets, no regrets,
and acknowledged the team became too passive after that that goal.
(09:00):
So that's a good jumping off point. If you saw
the World Cup here, let's discuss the question. Was this
a great Argentina comeback or a monumental English choke job
in the World Cup game there in Atlanta. So my thoughts,
I've got neurosurgeon, chocolate, truffles and panhandling, and we will
(09:24):
combine all of these things together and we're gonna make
some bangers and mash. Baby, isn't that authentic English food? Right?
Bangers and mash? That's what you people in England love
and fish and chips, all right. So A, in order
to dissect this, we have dusted off the Mallard decoder
ring and it points directly at England with a capital E.
(09:49):
You don't have to be a die hard fan of
the beautiful game as you people call it to know
what happened. Okay, Harrycane and his squad played even I know,
and I'm an amateur watching this stuff so tight that
they had their spinter needed to be checked there. The
(10:10):
Bank of England actually contacted them and they were asking
for tips. They were so tight tight there with their play.
And they didn't just turtle. I mean that's the term,
right when you play a little scared you turtle up
and all that stuff. They became the turtle's emotional support animal.
That's how That's how bad it was. They're standing around,
(10:32):
I think they were waiting for an uber or a
lift or something like that, and they went down to
the day spall right there. I didn't know they had
that at the stadium in Atlanta, and they took a
cold plunge at the absolute worst time. You cannot take
a cold plunge there. So they not only pre choked,
they mid choked, and yes, they post choked. That's a
(10:54):
lot of choke. It's a lot of choke. Writing the
Vomit comic as they did the Vomit Comet, they took
a second lap on the Vomit Comet, which is impressive.
So when it was nut cutting time, it really became
nut cutting time. Because the neurosurgeon, Lionel Messi, I didn't
know he was a neurosurgeon, but he stepped up and
(11:16):
he handed out unsolicited well he vasectomies for the English team.
The squad there appeared to be completely castrated as they
co signed a Now they get to what meetingless they
played this third place game. You imagine if they did
that in American sports, the players wouldn't show up. If
(11:36):
they did that in America. Can you imagine, like you
lose in the conference finals and you have to go
play another tournament. It's one game, but still so they
have a third place match against France that'll take place,
and so just another pathetic, leather bound chapter, dusty book,
leather bound of we swear we're close of English soccer.
(12:02):
There so the agony continues since nineteen sixty six, which
I'm told is a long time ago, and they got
nobody to blame on this one other than the man
in the mirror. Now to a friend of mine called
the gambling market. We now go to the gambling market
where we go back to France's two nothing semi final
(12:24):
loss to Spain, which it turns out was a major
financial windfall for the sports books who are taking your
action on this World Cup. France had been one of
the most heavily favored and back teams in the twenty
twenty six FIFA World Cup, and several books I was
(12:45):
reading about this, several of the books reporting that France
entered the semi final as their biggest liability, meaning if
they had won, they would have been screwed the bookie,
and so that was their big liability there. And as
it turns out if obviously France didn't win the title
(13:06):
would have if they had, it would have been a
significant payout by the bookies to the public. So the
question what stands out about this reporting about these sports
books celebrating France's upset loss in the World Cup there
to Spain. So the sports books, I imagine in the
cartoon bubble in my head, they were popping champagne over
(13:30):
the loss by France there to Spain, and they probably
I would think, would go on one of the websites there
in order up for Imbope or as Poppy call them, imape, right,
Gillian Impope, give them a massive box of chocolate truffles
and just spectacular, as he said, they played sloppy France
(13:51):
played sloppy there and that match. What it did, though,
is it put a Neon highlighter, Neon marker highlighter there
on the And I've talked about this a lot during
football season. Is another example the eternal disconnect between public
sentiment and risk management of the sports book. Like France
rolled in. I remember that penitential of the World Cup here.
(14:14):
We talked more about it than I ever imagined. But
unbeaten high scoring, they were a public darling, and the
betting public did what they always do. A bunch of
you a bet with your hearts, and you piled on
this clamorous favorite. The media darling's getting a lot of
(14:34):
attention and Bape was getting all kinds of love. And
so France losing it really turned out to be a
stimulus package for the sports books entirely funded by you,
the public, so they should thank you as well. And
if you actually want to make money, and I used
to do a TV show called Benny Versus the Penny
for a couple of years, and we talked about this
occasionally when I had time when Looney wasn't talking. But
(14:57):
the point of that was, if you really want to
make money, have to go away from the glamour. You
don't want to be with the bedazzled. You want to
be with the ugly. That's what you want to be
generally speaking. Now it doesn't always work out in the end,
it will work out, but generally speaking, you want to
be on the side of the house. And there are
ways to find out. There are places you can go
(15:18):
to find out where the money is. And they win, right,
they win more than the public because the public can't
help themselves. They can't. So not the wise guys are
forth licking their chops here and they're ready to root
against another massive favorite in the World Cup finale, the
(15:40):
public favorite Argentina, as they will face Spain shortly here
for the World Cup title. Now the last word. With
all of this winding down, down, down, down, down down down,
the World Cup winding down, the soccer executives are now
focused on brainwashing you. This is the new effort, right
(16:04):
and we've seen huge ratings on Fox. The interest level
is rather large for this World Cup, and so they're
trying to turn that into long term fandom for you.
And I guess for me, not gonna work for me,
maybe for you. And so they don't want this just
(16:24):
to be a one time event, the World Cup, and
so the executives like, well, we want to bottle up
the excitement. So now entering the chat, Major League Soccer
better known by their gangster name MLS. As you might
have seen these commercials they have launched. Fanks World will
take it from here is the slogan they're using. Describe
(16:45):
as the largest coordinated marketing campaign in the history of
soccer in America. And they've got Lionel Messi, Diego Luna,
some celebrity types, Magic Johnson, Matthew McConaughey and others who
had those got actually own parts of MLS teams. And
the goal is to convert the casual, the great unwashed
(17:08):
who have been watching the World Cup into MLS die
hard supporters. In fact, they're even offering first match free
first match tickets. They're giving away free tickets, complementary Apple
TV access for people that have no idea where MLS
games are on TV, and other promotions trying to get
people in. So the question you make the call, what's
(17:32):
your long term forecast on the MLS marketing pushed convert
World Cup fans into MLS fans, So I will tell you.
The campaign is well done. I don't know the marketing
firm that's behind it, whoever it is on Madison Avenue.
They really did a good job. I thought the commercials
are smooth and they pop. They're good. The problem is
(17:54):
the elevator pitch. It is in football, American football would
be the Hail Mary play. The conversion rate is low.
As I know from doing the radio show. It is
much easier to keep the listeners that you have than
to get new people to listen. Just like in any business,
it's much easier to keep the customers happy that you
(18:14):
have rather than get new customers. One of the reasons
like if you call the cable company if you still
have cable, if you're a dinosaur and you bitch at
the cable company, they will often lower your price because
they know it's much easier to keep you and much
more difficult to bring somebody new in to replace you.
It's just basic business, one oh one. And so the
MLS big shots think they can convert seemingly millions of men,
(18:40):
women and children in America to new viewers into lifetime
fans of the MLS and all that, and I expect
just a temporary tick just a little spike, just a
little spike, and that's it. Now, maybe they can convince
some of the kids that's really what you get the kids,
because they'll you know, it's like the Happy Meal thing.
(19:01):
The greatest thing ever for any restaurant was McDonald's Happy Meal.
You know, guys like me, you know, I remember the
Happy Meal came out. Oh great, you know, it's free toy,
wonderful and even when you're an old fart, you still
go back. You're like, you romanticize that it's great. Uh.
But to me, that the whole marketing campaign, and am
(19:21):
I nitpicking properly? It seems like it's like weed man,
hippie panhandling. They're like begging you. They're like, come on,
come on, watch our sport. Come on, yeah, okay, uh.
And the World Cup appeals to casuals people like me.
I'm not diehard soccer person. Most Americans only watch soccer
(19:45):
when the flag is involved. They can wrap themselves in
their flag, in the US flag, or if your your
family's from somewhere else and you got you know, you
did the DNA test, you got he got a lot
of family from there, all right, that's the thing. And
they don't care about cheesy celebrity owners. I don't care
about that. And so the MLF, the MLS growth, I
feel like it's stopped the moment they signed that deal
(20:05):
with Apple TV. The most important thing is broadcasting. I always
said broadcasting, not narrowcasting, broadcast. And so even hard O's
soccer fans are like, why are we watching this? The
Premier League is so much better, and you all tell
me that every top American player is any good. The
first chance they get they bolt to Europe because they
(20:27):
can earn more money. The second they can get out
and they go. And so the MLS is fighting for relevance.
So it's like they're competing with pick a ball. That's
what they're competing with. It is The Ben Maler Show,
the malar Poalooza, The Mallord Palosa is next. If you
want to comment on x at Ben Maller, the Mallord
Palooza is straight ahead. We will get to that and
(20:48):
we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the Iheartrate.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Hey, it's Ben, host of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller would mean a lot to have you join us
on our weekly auditory journey. You're asking what in God's
name is the Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a
spin off of it Ben Mather Show, a cult hit
overnights on FSR. Why should you listen? Picture if you
will a world will? We chat with captains of industry
in media, sports and more every week explore some amazing
(21:23):
facts about human nature and more. Listen to the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast
or wherever you get your podcast. Its Ben Mallon and
the Two Night Lead.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
He loved the Cliffers and get this Day Lead.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Come on, Ben into your Dumo the Ram Ben mallor
Ben Mellon. You don't have to listen line to enjoy malot.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Militia.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
You want to know.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Oh when he open, he just cries down that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
He just wanted to know that you'll be podcast in
this show now at the to you what a talent
didn't make the podcast show audio rondev This is a
retired caller that is Anthony and Anaheim. He sold out
to have a family. How dare him? How dare him
(22:32):
choose and I believe I was told by I think
it was it was a justin insist and somebody told
me that he's got more kids now than Antonio Cramarti.
So he's been very productive at repopulating society. Our buddy
Anthony and his wife hates the show. That's also reason
it is the Ben Malor show. It's Malard Polus and I.
(22:52):
We're about to begin the festivities and it's very exciting.
You can be part of this on X at Ben
Mahler and when not taking any regular calls, I do
not believe, so don't worry about that. And you can
also say a little Lorrain a FSR tech queen, I do,
don't talk to me. And Koobloop a Bronco fan. That's
all Bronco fan. All right, back to it we go.
(23:15):
Some instant reaction, Femi says Ben, I know at least
one fan soccer won over, even if temporarily. Big Ben
Mallard could feel the pain in your voice when Team
USA lost. What MLS needs is NFL like Brandon IOC
and Antonio Brown drama. Well yeah, sure, absolutely, analog Ol says,
one more soccer game, a third place game only good
(23:38):
for wagering, then it is over. Chipping the Q says
eight plus on the monologue World Cup cannot be over
fast enough for me. Sorry, but anyone over the age
of eight who still plays soccer makes me roll my eyes,
says Chip and the cues. I think anyone older than
eight does so because they can't play any of the
sport well enough, all right, Late night drug tester says,
(23:59):
the only thing I know about Argentina is what my
granddad told me, that they're great at soccer and hiding
losers from World War Two. Yeah, I've heard that too.
A lot of the German Nazi guys went over to Argentina.
Suppose that's the legend that I read. Anyway, all right,
enough of that. Do we have anything like an open
(24:20):
Do we have an oar?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
The spotlights on you now, lady to shine?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
What I do is say, yeah, you know what I mean, like,
show us.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
What you got.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Theres me.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
This is Mallard Peloosa and now here's your host, Ben Mallie.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yes, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, night owls, insomniacs, truckers,
third shifters, cops and roberts. We are proud to have
you as fellow members of the Malard Militia. Step Ride Up,
Step Ride Up, Fun for all. Welcome to the biggest,
big top of them all on overnight Radio. That's right,
(25:03):
it's the Maler Palooza twenty twenty six. Think of it
like Benny's all you can eat buffet of nonsense, where
logic takes a coffee breaking out that I drink coffee
and entertainment. It's good walking the tightrope without a safety night.
Be very careful. Forget about the elephants. We're not allowed
to have those in studio all because Doc Mike sent
(25:23):
me up bloody GoAhead years ago. So no animals are
allowed in the studio. No lion tamers tonight right now
here we go. You are the main attraction. We celebrate
you all right from every corner of America and beyond,
hidden under the cover of darkness. And I say this
every year. Some of the most talented men, women and
(25:43):
even kids I have gathered here and it's one glorious
mission to entertain the masses. Many of them will fail.
The effort will be the same, though the effort will
be the same. We've got original song parodies lined up
We've got some recorded, some live acts, and some of
these things will get stuck in your head. There will
(26:04):
be moments that happen on the Malard Polus at twenty
twenty six that we'll be talking about years from now.
That's what kind of magic we have on the airways
of the Ben Malor Show here on Fox. We've got
spot on impersonations. Who remembers Ozzy Guy. Remember Ozzy Guy. Yeah,
if you're a longtime listener, you know Ozzy Guy. Amazing.
We'll have comedy that will be terrible, but we'll try
(26:26):
to laugh at it and you'll be scratching your head.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Now.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Some of it will be good. There'll be some good
jokes there. We'll have surprise celebrity appearances. It's think of
it like a kitchen sink show, if you will. If
it can fit through the radio, we're throwing it at
the you. We're throwing it at you pretty much everything.
There's really no editing process in terms of getting rid
of some people. We let anyone on. Every performer will
(26:52):
get up to two minutes. Now, we want this to
be shorter, but up to two minutes. No more than
two minutes. And he said, well, two minutes is not
that long. Trust me. Think of it like you know
how they say dog years. Dogs age more than people will.
The time on radio goes slower for most people if
you're not used to doing this. So two minutes might
(27:15):
not seem like a lot, it's very valuable. You're going
to reach a lot of people. We're on over six
hundred radio stations. We're on the Sirius XM Fox Sports
Radio channel, broadcasting live there. This show's carried on the
American Forces Network, so we reach our military heroes and
their families all around the globe. We've got a worldwide stage. Baby,
We're up for some We're on radio stations in Perth,
(27:38):
Australia and other random places. I don't even know how
that works. It just very odd. So now keeping law
and order, as I set up this masterpiece keeping law
and order in this traveling the audio fun we have
our esteem panel of judges. Now, of course that would
be yours truly. Hi, my name is Ben, the lovable
(28:00):
Radio Rascal Coop a loop right over there, and there
is and the Queen of the show, that's right, the
f SR Tech Queen La Reina. Why Hi, bed glind
to be here tonight and making his triumphant return. And
I don't see my computer's still dark, so I don't
know if he's on hold or not. But our friend and
classically trained pianist and genuine musician inca terror from New York.
(28:25):
So I think you're like equal parts Simon Cowell, P. T.
Barnum and that weird uncle that shows up at like
Thanksgiving and other festivities, and of course you you will
be part of So the way this normally works, we
will vote for the top three or four at its four,
the top whoever's in the top four. We will then
go to the vote of the people, so we will
have a winner. We will dictate the studio vote and
(28:48):
that will be one winner, and then we'll toss it
out to you and you'll be able to vote and
help decide who the people's choice is. Can I be
the Simon Cowell? Sure? Why are you rude? Are you
hold big stick?
Speaker 4 (29:00):
All?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Right? Well? Yes? And but yeah, you're the peanut gallery,
You're the upper balcony. You can throw raspberries and we
will get real time feedback. One of the fun things
about listening live and one of the reasons that we
have a bigger live audience. A lot of people listening
on the podcast is because you can give real time
feedback on x at ben Mallor. You can cheer, you
can boo the whole thing and grown. And there will
(29:23):
be acts that don't work and unfortunately they will be
gonged off the show. They will be gogged off the show.
So we we say like audience participation isn't encouraged, it's mandatory.
It's mandatory. So it takes an entire village to build
the first class cheeseball variety radio show. New stars will
(29:44):
be born, new stars will be born here in the
overnight Legends will likely stumble Internet Fame Mall or Militia
fame awaits and it's the biggest event of the summer
on the overnight sports radio dial. I'm gonna dominate. We're
gonna set records for downloads and really the most downloads
we're going to get till the NFL season kicks off
(30:05):
in September. So this is it and welcome and must
listen audio the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six officially in town.
That's welcome in our judges. Are you prepared Loraina to
judge Are you ready to do this? Oh my gosh,
I'm just I'm so ready. You're excited looking forward to
this all day? All right, Coop, you're prepared, Yes, you're
mentally prepared to do this, all right? And who will
(30:26):
be keeping You'll be keeping track, Coop of the scores,
will be jotting down the scores. Yes, yes, all right.
We have Inca Terror is joining us from New York.
He is back yet again. Hello Incad Terror, Welcome.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Oh it's great to be back. I've got my three
piece har money suit on, ready to go.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Oh fantasy. Well, I want to point out and I
do want to thank Dorko the comedian, clearly trying to
pay off the judge. He sent me this beautiful Malar
Palooza twenty twenty six cap that I am proudly wearing
right here, and I'm excited. Look what's you're looking at? Right?
And so I'm wearing this thanks to our friend Dorko
the median who sent this. It's great. And so I
(31:03):
think he's going to sell some of these, I believe. So,
if you're in this thing and you want to buy one,
I think Dorko is going to sell a few of them.
So he'll let you know when he calls in later on.
So the judging INCA, I just kind of give you
a brief. And I know I'm going long here, and
I know I shouldn't be going long, and I'm going
a long. But the way I'm going to judge because
people want to know, how do you judge? And I
(31:25):
talked about this on the Fifth Hour podcast over the weekend.
I said, here's how I'm gonna judge. And then the
way it works on a scale of one to ten,
we're all going to go one to ten. Yes, we
all agree on that, one to ten. Everyone yes in Kota. Yes,
all right, all right, So entertainment wow factor, do you
captivate the lister? That's entertainment quality? Do you actually have
(31:45):
any talent? Do you have any skill? Right, you're a
trained musician in Kotera, so you would know better than
me about that.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Absolutely. Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I'm a big originality guy. I love original stuff, you know,
and you can put your twist on it. I used
on the on the Fifth Hour podcast every week and
I talked about the song parodies. The most famous song
parody guy of all time who, for some reason I'm
blanking on his name, But what's the guy's name? He
(32:15):
did the Polish? Yeah, weird Al Yankevis, weird Al Yankovic.
And also delivery. Delivery is a big part of it
as well stage presence. So the way I'm gonna score,
and you guys can have your own criteria, nine ten
or above means a memorable performance, flawless, entertaining, we're hooting
(32:36):
and hollering, we're laughing, we loved it. Seven to eight
I'm pretty good, highly entertained. Might have been a few
things that could have been better. Five to six is
just competent average, Okay, you were good, not great, and
then anything below that not great. Three to four didn't
(32:56):
really prepare, Like hollering, James, I'm sure we'll be the guy.
And then ain't below that just I mean, you're getting goned,
you're getting gomed, all right, So we all agree on that. Yes,
that's my mantra. So any thoughts in kata before we
paused with the cause and then begin the festivities.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Here, I just wanted to say, like a sign of
from experience, that with these classical, prestigious competitions, often the
most memorable people are not the first place winner. So
there's a chance for anyone in this competition, and I'm
looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
It's a great point, and I should have said that
because one of the more famous acts is Hey Mona,
and she did not Kathy and Madison did not win,
but she's become a star over the years.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Win.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
She didn't win, but that song, we loved it. She
became a legend on the show, Kathy and Madison because
of Hey Mona. And it's moments like that was Kathy
sitting at her retirement home in Madison, Wisconsin and with
the you know, just playing a little ditty and become legendary.
(34:04):
All right, So that's it, everyone, I got. I got
a bunch of acts lined up in the leadoff spot here.
We're gonna have some big time names here. We're gonna
pause for the cause, and then we begin the first
couple acts against different night. We're not doing the who
am I? The instant trivia and all that. We're just
gonna have acts, mallow monologues and acts the rest of
the night. We're jam packed, cannot wait to get the
(34:26):
party started. The malor Palooza begins officially with our first act.
We'll get to that and we will.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Do it next be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It is the Ben Malor Show. You are locked in
on the Palooza twenty twenty six. They reminder the show
is broadcast everywhere. It's also podcast The Ben Maler Show
Podcast and the Fifth Hour Podcast. Make sure to subscribe.
You're a fan of the show, become a super fan.
Listen to those podcasts. Support the show. We thank you,
we thank you, We thank you, we thank you, we
(35:01):
thank you. Let's get into it right now. It is
time for the first act of the twenty twenty six
Malard Palooza. And in the leadoff chair as we have
inkoate or celebrity judge right there, and our first act
we go to Bakersfield, California, and we say hello to
Andrew in Bakersfield. Hello Andrew, you're our first act. Do
(35:25):
you need anything for me? Andrew?
Speaker 5 (35:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
But how's it going?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I don't care about that. We don't have time. You
need any sound effects? I can hear you. Are you
ready to go? You've got up to two minutes. We'd
liked less than that. Are you prepared?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
All right? The floor is yours. Our first act of
the Malapalooz at twenty twenty six Andrew from Bakersfield, California.
Speaker 6 (35:51):
First of all, to England, good job, I'm sorry you
didn't continue through. And congratulations to Argentina.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Are you doing, Andrew well?
Speaker 5 (36:01):
When I was.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
Well, I was having difficulty with my Christian faith and evolutions.
So I'm going to quote a British Christian rapper. He said,
it takes more faith to believe in evolution because it's
a theory whose evidence has been disproven. Okay, now here's
the song. It's about Jesus. I saw him marking.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Down the road.
Speaker 5 (36:29):
He warsandle I saw the dust from his feet. It
was so real.
Speaker 6 (36:46):
Yeah, full game.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
My debt is that for game Lord?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Alright, alright, alright, you know we love God. That was
more dedication to Jesus or to the devil rather. All right,
let's go to the judges' scorecards here. Well, first of all,
Andrew wasted. He wasted about forty seconds talking about the
World Cup and whatever else he had there. He is
(37:18):
first up, though it's always difficult to go first on
the scale that we gave one to ten for the
malor palooza. I don't want to take too long because
we can't get other people on here. Was it original?
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
The skill level was terrible. Was it entertaining if you
enjoy shottenfreude? Was the delivery good? Absolutely not. I am
gonna start how many fair? I'm not gonna be a jerk.
I like Andrew a lot. I'm gonna give him a
minus seven. I'm gonna give him a minus seven ink
of terror? What do you think?
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I felt a little sorry for Jesus. I like Jesus too,
and it was a bit pitchy, pitchy, but you know,
he was the first step, So I give him a
three three?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
All right, lorrain, and how'd you score it? He honestly
had stronger vocals than I was expecting. Like, I was
impressed with his vocal I thought that was pretty good. Yeah,
you need to get you need to get in and
go in faster. So I'm gonna I'm gonna give him
a I'm gonna give hm a two. Okay, so you're
minus two, coop.
Speaker 7 (38:23):
I'm by the way I put the zero when you
say a negative score, Oh, I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
We said you do what you want. I do what
I want.
Speaker 7 (38:31):
Anyway, all right, all right, So I was ready to
give a zero. I was so ready I already had
it in my head. And then he started singing, and
I was like, Wow, that's better than I thought it
was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Uh, so I'm gonna give it a three as well.
Oh my god, you people are too nice. All right,
hold on a second, our next, Stac. Let's see if
we have enough time now, Ben at the Comedian, we
have about a ninety seconds. Are you good? Real quick
to do ninety seconds or last? No, it's about two minutes. Okay,
all right, I'll put you on holding. Must give them
the time needed. All right. Well see I don't know now,
(39:03):
I don't know who can do it in less time? Uh, Neil,
how's Uh can't close the deal? Neil? How much time
you need? Can't close the deal? Neil?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I just need about sixty seconds?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
All right? Your floor is yours. Can't close the deal, Neil,
I'm a daredevil. Uh can't close the deal? Neil and
Corbin two of my favorite people. Hung out with them
in Cincinnati back in the day. And the floor is yours, Neil.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
This this is the preposition song. I memorize this in
sixth grade, and I still haven't memorized the same deltitude
of Yankee doodle. Here goes with on four after ad
buy in against instead up near between two well from
under down below through over up according to a broad
across beyond about before behind with him without among around
the midst of or not with standing into.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, all right, can't close the deal, Neal, thank you, Neil,
ink and Tarror. You want to go first, Ink and tear,
Let me make sure you're punched up there, InKo, Terra
pumped it.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
It was educational, it was in tune, it was prepared.
I'm giving it.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
An eight and eight.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
What do you like me? I didn't give it an eight.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
We don't.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
We don't have a lot of time. I thought, you know, listen,
it was much better than Andrew. He got kind of
right to it. It was competent performance. It was enjoyable,
not exceptional. I'm gonna give it a five, Loraina. It
was upbeat and didn't make me question my gong. So
I'm gonna give him a five. A five, all right,
So five and five and then eight from ink tear
(40:28):
my god it Coop, go ahead, Coop. I'm not really
sure what that was I couldn't understand either. I could
not understand that. I did not understand anything. It sounded good,
the beat was good, though, I like I think.
Speaker 7 (40:40):
I think Ka Ta took a little bit too big
of a hit from the from the blunt before.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
If that's an eight, we're screwed. I'm gonna give it
a four. A four, all right, So Coop was actually
lower than I was. All right, we are off to
a great start. Andrew and Bakersfield and Anka Terror are
judge there and then can't close the deal. O'Neil our
first two acts and the big this is gonna even better,
(41:10):
Benett the comedian, other big names lined up. Wait for it.
I can't wait. Oh my god,
Boom, Shacha Laca. It's our name, berwe our one of
the fun It's the Ben Maler Show, a special podcast edition.
We're gonna set all kinds of records for downloads for
the summer. It's the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six. It
kicks off this hour and we'll get to that Mallard
(00:21):
monologue to begin it. And it's the hour of the
World Cup. Was this a great Argentina comeback you saw
the game on Fox? Or a monumental English choke job
in the game in Atlanta? Also, what stands out about
these sportsbooks openly celebrating France's upset loss to the Spaniards
in the World Cup? And what is your long term
(00:43):
forecast on the MLS marketing push to convert World Cup fans.
We'll get to all of that. Also, we have amazing
performances by Andrew in Bakersfield and can't close the deal, Neil,
the big setup on the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six
will be coming your way right now here. It is
(01:04):
our number one who you want to get away? Well? Yeah,
the World Cup of the Meltdown continues. Welcome in the
beginning of another edition. Of the Ben Malor Show. We
(01:24):
are in the air e of rewaere as we shoot
the breeze we do and take you for a ride
on the wild side, coast to coast, border to border
and beyond on the vast and pleasantly powerful microphones of
FSR emmnating lives from the Palooza. It's almost here. We
(01:51):
are minutes away from the beginning of the Malor Palooza
twenty twenty six, Garanteed from the world famous Fox Sports
Radio Studios. As we hang out here together and Jason
the Diamondman reminds us this hour made possible part by
(02:12):
our friends at ty Iraq. For over forty years, tyre
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(02:35):
buying should be. And I got a message from Overnight Joe.
Now Overnight Joe keeps the TV station going there in
New York, and he listens all night to us. He
hangs out here and he said man, I really would
love if you could begin the night and you could
tie my name overnight, Joe's name in with Home Depot.
(02:55):
So we've just done that. Your dreams have come true.
You better dream better things. Upgrade, Not that we don't
love Home Depot. Upgrade your FIFA World Cup twenty twenty
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(03:16):
Home Depot Official FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six Supporter,
Subject to availability. And but wait, there's more. You think
we're not done because og Art Puffin says Ben. I
know the World Cup's been going on for a month,
there's still some dummies out there that don't know where
to watch it. Well, there's only a couple of games
(03:37):
to go now, and I recommend you get on that.
Fox one. The excitement of the FIFA World Cup is
streaming live on Fox one, the official English streaming platform
to catch every unforgettable moment. Fox one bringing the action
straight to your screen so you never miss a goal.
Download Fox one and experience the FIFA World Cup live.
(04:01):
We'll do it live that's it, and that's all. That's
all you get, right there, a little live live action.
But wait, I think in ireer, I believe that Van
the one legged Bama Man said Ben, I know people
accuse you of being all about Bull, and Van said, no, no,
you're not all about Bull, You're about we bol. So
(04:22):
it's time to get your financial portfolio game ready with
wee bul Get, powerful investing tools and real time data
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slash disclosures. It's a big night. We're exciting to hear.
(04:47):
It's really cool. It's really cool. There's just a little
bit of excitement. Just I mentioned it on social media.
It's awesome. Everyone's fired up in the building. I mean,
I look at the the update desk there, it looks great.
Uh down the hall those ugly gray chairs that are horrific,
they look good. I mean Lorraina brought in pizza. Yeah
(05:07):
I did. We're excited. So it's not gonna be your
normal show. Normally we have the who Am I Game,
the Inster trivia, Mallard of the Third Degree, all that stuff.
The Mallard you know, I've just put my name on
everything because I'm a loser. But we're not gonna do
all that stuff. We're gonna have the Mallard Palooza. It's here.
I'll explain everything you need to know. We've got our
celebrity judge who's gonna join us and help us get
(05:29):
through the night. And it's just gonna be a lot
of fun and we're gonna celebrate you. And I only
think everyone that's signed up and we look forward to
that and they're still we'll explain there's some wild card
slots that are available, but our beginning, and we're gonna
have the Mallard monologues because it's mandated, and then we'll
get into the Malle Polusa. So I lead this hour
(05:49):
though before the Malapaluza kicks off the World Cup, believe
it or not, I watched, Yeah I did, it was
on Fox. You better watch you in Atlanta, and there
was one slot left in the finale. Now we knew
the Spaniards had won. They upset France and so there
was one slot left and if you didn't see it,
(06:11):
perhaps not. It was a one nothing lead for England
getting late, and then England realized, wait a minute, we're
artists here, we're choke artists. And sure enough Argentina rallied
from a one nothing deficit to defeat England two to
one in the World Cup semi final. They scored twice
(06:34):
in the closing minutes. Now, I don't really watch football
other than the World Cup. I don't recall this level
of choke. It feels like we've seen more choke jobs
in this World Cup. Now I am I exaggerating that?
Or is this actually a thing? Am I just imagining this?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Well?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Either way, the team from Argentina a couple of goals
there in the closing minutes, they get to these straight
World Cup final. Lionel Messi did it again. He didn't score,
but he assisted on both of Argentina's goals there, continuing
his domination situation at age thirty nine. And so the
(07:14):
defending champions from Argentina now on Americans. So I won
win away from becoming just the third nation to successfully
defend the World Cup title. And the better story, though,
is in the losing locker room and I don't care
whether it's England Zimbabwe. I love choke. I love people
(07:35):
that choke, and boy, I guess I should move to
England with legally blind Christopher and Terry in England and
those guys and just enjoy the epic choke because the
team from England. Wait, man, counting down, you're running me
a little bit of I was in here years ago
(07:55):
there was a team called the Chicago Cubs. That's a
baseball team, not good one. And the Cubs were a
few outs away from getting to the World Series and
I think it was three and we were counting it
down and then they choked because this guy named Steve
Bartman who wore a turtleneck and headphones interfered and the
Cubs collapsed and all that. Anyway, it's a similar vibe.
So Harry Kane, the captain of England, admitted after the game,
(08:19):
obviously not during the game, that they played way too conservative.
After they took the lease up one nothing, they were
just trying to hold on and they pointed out in
the World Cup that is not that's not enough. You
can't play that way. And then some guy I've never
heard of who's the manager we like to call coach
(08:40):
of the English team there he was getting killed by
the soccer media. They were killing this guy for his
strategical decisions, his tactical changes that he made. He of
course defended that and said he had no regrets, no regrets,
and acknowledged the team became too passive after that that goal.
(09:00):
So that's a good jumping off point. If you saw
the World Cup here, let's discuss the question. Was this
a great Argentina comeback or a monumental English choke job
in the World Cup game there in Atlanta. So my thoughts,
I've got neurosurgeon, chocolate, truffles and panhandling, and we will
(09:24):
combine all of these things together and we're gonna make
some bangers and mash. Baby, isn't that authentic English food? Right?
Bangers and mash? That's what you people in England love
and fish and chips, all right. So A, in order
to dissect this, we have dusted off the Mallard decoder
ring and it points directly at England with a capital E.
(09:49):
You don't have to be a die hard fan of
the beautiful game as you people call it to know
what happened. Okay, Harrycane and his squad played even I know,
and I'm an amateur watching this stuff so tight that
they had their spinter needed to be checked there. The
(10:10):
Bank of England actually contacted them and they were asking
for tips. They were so tight tight there with their play.
And they didn't just turtle. I mean that's the term,
right when you play a little scared you turtle up
and all that stuff. They became the turtle's emotional support animal.
That's how That's how bad it was. They're standing around,
(10:32):
I think they were waiting for an uber or a
lift or something like that, and they went down to
the day spall right there. I didn't know they had
that at the stadium in Atlanta, and they took a
cold plunge at the absolute worst time. You cannot take
a cold plunge there. So they not only pre choked,
they mid choked, and yes, they post choked. That's a
(10:54):
lot of choke. It's a lot of choke. Writing the
Vomit comic as they did the Vomit Comet, they took
a second lap on the Vomit Comet, which is impressive.
So when it was nut cutting time, it really became
nut cutting time. Because the neurosurgeon, Lionel Messi, I didn't
know he was a neurosurgeon, but he stepped up and
(11:16):
he handed out unsolicited well he vasectomies for the English team.
The squad there appeared to be completely castrated as they
co signed a Now they get to what meetingless they
played this third place game. You imagine if they did
that in American sports, the players wouldn't show up. If
(11:36):
they did that in America. Can you imagine, like you
lose in the conference finals and you have to go
play another tournament. It's one game, but still so they
have a third place match against France that'll take place,
and so just another pathetic, leather bound chapter, dusty book,
leather bound of we swear we're close of English soccer.
(12:02):
There so the agony continues since nineteen sixty six, which
I'm told is a long time ago, and they got
nobody to blame on this one other than the man
in the mirror. Now to a friend of mine called
the gambling market. We now go to the gambling market
where we go back to France's two nothing semi final
(12:24):
loss to Spain, which it turns out was a major
financial windfall for the sports books who are taking your
action on this World Cup. France had been one of
the most heavily favored and back teams in the twenty
twenty six FIFA World Cup, and several books I was
(12:45):
reading about this, several of the books reporting that France
entered the semi final as their biggest liability, meaning if
they had won, they would have been screwed the bookie,
and so that was their big liability there. And as
it turns out if obviously France didn't win the title
(13:06):
would have if they had, it would have been a
significant payout by the bookies to the public. So the
question what stands out about this reporting about these sports
books celebrating France's upset loss in the World Cup there
to Spain. So the sports books, I imagine in the
cartoon bubble in my head, they were popping champagne over
(13:30):
the loss by France there to Spain, and they probably
I would think, would go on one of the websites there
in order up for Imbope or as Poppy call them, imape, right,
Gillian Impope, give them a massive box of chocolate truffles
and just spectacular, as he said, they played sloppy France
(13:51):
played sloppy there and that match. What it did, though,
is it put a Neon highlighter, Neon marker highlighter there
on the And I've talked about this a lot during
football season. Is another example the eternal disconnect between public
sentiment and risk management of the sports book. Like France
rolled in. I remember that penitential of the World Cup here.
(14:14):
We talked more about it than I ever imagined. But
unbeaten high scoring, they were a public darling, and the
betting public did what they always do. A bunch of
you a bet with your hearts, and you piled on
this clamorous favorite. The media darling's getting a lot of
(14:34):
attention and Bape was getting all kinds of love. And
so France losing it really turned out to be a
stimulus package for the sports books entirely funded by you,
the public, so they should thank you as well. And
if you actually want to make money, and I used
to do a TV show called Benny Versus the Penny
for a couple of years, and we talked about this
occasionally when I had time when Looney wasn't talking. But
(14:57):
the point of that was, if you really want to
make money, have to go away from the glamour. You
don't want to be with the bedazzled. You want to
be with the ugly. That's what you want to be
generally speaking. Now it doesn't always work out in the end,
it will work out, but generally speaking, you want to
be on the side of the house. And there are
ways to find out. There are places you can go
(15:18):
to find out where the money is. And they win, right,
they win more than the public because the public can't
help themselves. They can't. So not the wise guys are
forth licking their chops here and they're ready to root
against another massive favorite in the World Cup finale, the
(15:40):
public favorite Argentina, as they will face Spain shortly here
for the World Cup title. Now the last word. With
all of this winding down, down, down, down, down down down,
the World Cup winding down, the soccer executives are now
focused on brainwashing you. This is the new effort, right
(16:04):
and we've seen huge ratings on Fox. The interest level
is rather large for this World Cup, and so they're
trying to turn that into long term fandom for you.
And I guess for me, not gonna work for me,
maybe for you. And so they don't want this just
(16:24):
to be a one time event, the World Cup, and
so the executives like, well, we want to bottle up
the excitement. So now entering the chat, Major League Soccer
better known by their gangster name MLS. As you might
have seen these commercials they have launched. Fanks World will
take it from here is the slogan they're using. Describe
(16:45):
as the largest coordinated marketing campaign in the history of
soccer in America. And they've got Lionel Messi, Diego Luna,
some celebrity types, Magic Johnson, Matthew McConaughey and others who
had those got actually own parts of MLS teams. And
the goal is to convert the casual, the great unwashed
(17:08):
who have been watching the World Cup into MLS die
hard supporters. In fact, they're even offering first match free
first match tickets. They're giving away free tickets, complementary Apple
TV access for people that have no idea where MLS
games are on TV, and other promotions trying to get
people in. So the question you make the call, what's
(17:32):
your long term forecast on the MLS marketing pushed convert
World Cup fans into MLS fans, So I will tell you.
The campaign is well done. I don't know the marketing
firm that's behind it, whoever it is on Madison Avenue.
They really did a good job. I thought the commercials
are smooth and they pop. They're good. The problem is
(17:54):
the elevator pitch. It is in football, American football would
be the Hail Mary play. The conversion rate is low.
As I know from doing the radio show. It is
much easier to keep the listeners that you have than
to get new people to listen. Just like in any business,
it's much easier to keep the customers happy that you
(18:14):
have rather than get new customers. One of the reasons
like if you call the cable company if you still
have cable, if you're a dinosaur and you bitch at
the cable company, they will often lower your price because
they know it's much easier to keep you and much
more difficult to bring somebody new in to replace you.
It's just basic business, one oh one. And so the
MLS big shots think they can convert seemingly millions of men,
(18:40):
women and children in America to new viewers into lifetime
fans of the MLS and all that, and I expect
just a temporary tick just a little spike, just a
little spike, and that's it. Now, maybe they can convince
some of the kids that's really what you get the kids,
because they'll you know, it's like the Happy Meal thing.
(19:01):
The greatest thing ever for any restaurant was McDonald's Happy Meal.
You know, guys like me, you know, I remember the
Happy Meal came out. Oh great, you know, it's free toy,
wonderful and even when you're an old fart, you still
go back. You're like, you romanticize that it's great. Uh.
But to me, that the whole marketing campaign, and am
(19:21):
I nitpicking properly? It seems like it's like weed man,
hippie panhandling. They're like begging you. They're like, come on,
come on, watch our sport. Come on, yeah, okay, uh.
And the World Cup appeals to casuals people like me.
I'm not diehard soccer person. Most Americans only watch soccer
(19:45):
when the flag is involved. They can wrap themselves in
their flag, in the US flag, or if your your
family's from somewhere else and you got you know, you
did the DNA test, you got he got a lot
of family from there, all right, that's the thing. And
they don't care about cheesy celebrity owners. I don't care
about that. And so the MLF, the MLS growth, I
feel like it's stopped the moment they signed that deal
(20:05):
with Apple TV. The most important thing is broadcasting. I always
said broadcasting, not narrowcasting, broadcast. And so even hard O's
soccer fans are like, why are we watching this? The
Premier League is so much better, and you all tell
me that every top American player is any good. The
first chance they get they bolt to Europe because they
(20:27):
can earn more money. The second they can get out
and they go. And so the MLS is fighting for relevance.
So it's like they're competing with pick a ball. That's
what they're competing with. It is The Ben Maler Show,
the malar Poalooza, The Mallord Palosa is next. If you
want to comment on x at Ben Maller, the Mallord
Palooza is straight ahead. We will get to that and
(20:48):
we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the Iheartrate.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Hey, it's Ben, host of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller would mean a lot to have you join us
on our weekly auditory journey. You're asking what in God's
name is the Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a
spin off of it Ben Mather Show, a cult hit
overnights on FSR. Why should you listen? Picture if you
will a world will? We chat with captains of industry
in media, sports and more every week explore some amazing
(21:23):
facts about human nature and more. Listen to the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast
or wherever you get your podcast. Its Ben Mallon and
the Two Night Lead.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
He loved the Cliffers and get this Day Lead.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Come on, Ben into your Dumo the Ram Ben mallor
Ben Mellon. You don't have to listen line to enjoy malot.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Militia.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
You want to know.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Oh when he open, he just cries down that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
He just wanted to know that you'll be podcast in
this show now at the to you what a talent
didn't make the podcast show audio rondev This is a
retired caller that is Anthony and Anaheim. He sold out
to have a family. How dare him? How dare him
(22:32):
choose and I believe I was told by I think
it was it was a justin insist and somebody told
me that he's got more kids now than Antonio Cramarti.
So he's been very productive at repopulating society. Our buddy
Anthony and his wife hates the show. That's also reason
it is the Ben Malor show. It's Malard Polus and I.
(22:52):
We're about to begin the festivities and it's very exciting.
You can be part of this on X at Ben
Mahler and when not taking any regular calls, I do
not believe, so don't worry about that. And you can
also say a little Lorrain a FSR tech queen, I do,
don't talk to me. And Koobloop a Bronco fan. That's
all Bronco fan. All right, back to it we go.
(23:15):
Some instant reaction, Femi says Ben, I know at least
one fan soccer won over, even if temporarily. Big Ben
Mallard could feel the pain in your voice when Team
USA lost. What MLS needs is NFL like Brandon IOC
and Antonio Brown drama. Well yeah, sure, absolutely, analog Ol says,
one more soccer game, a third place game only good
(23:38):
for wagering, then it is over. Chipping the Q says
eight plus on the monologue World Cup cannot be over
fast enough for me. Sorry, but anyone over the age
of eight who still plays soccer makes me roll my eyes,
says Chip and the cues. I think anyone older than
eight does so because they can't play any of the
sport well enough, all right, Late night drug tester says,
(23:59):
the only thing I know about Argentina is what my
granddad told me, that they're great at soccer and hiding
losers from World War Two. Yeah, I've heard that too.
A lot of the German Nazi guys went over to Argentina.
Suppose that's the legend that I read. Anyway, all right,
enough of that. Do we have anything like an open
(24:20):
Do we have an oar?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
The spotlights on you now, lady to shine?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
What I do is say, yeah, you know what I mean, like,
show us.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
What you got.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Theres me.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
This is Mallard Peloosa and now here's your host, Ben Mallie.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yes, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, night owls, insomniacs, truckers,
third shifters, cops and roberts. We are proud to have
you as fellow members of the Malard Militia. Step Ride Up,
Step Ride Up, Fun for all. Welcome to the biggest,
big top of them all on overnight Radio. That's right,
(25:03):
it's the Maler Palooza twenty twenty six. Think of it
like Benny's all you can eat buffet of nonsense, where
logic takes a coffee breaking out that I drink coffee
and entertainment. It's good walking the tightrope without a safety night.
Be very careful. Forget about the elephants. We're not allowed
to have those in studio all because Doc Mike sent
(25:23):
me up bloody GoAhead years ago. So no animals are
allowed in the studio. No lion tamers tonight right now
here we go. You are the main attraction. We celebrate
you all right from every corner of America and beyond,
hidden under the cover of darkness. And I say this
every year. Some of the most talented men, women and
(25:43):
even kids I have gathered here and it's one glorious
mission to entertain the masses. Many of them will fail.
The effort will be the same, though the effort will
be the same. We've got original song parodies lined up
We've got some recorded, some live acts, and some of
these things will get stuck in your head. There will
(26:04):
be moments that happen on the Malard Polus at twenty
twenty six that we'll be talking about years from now.
That's what kind of magic we have on the airways
of the Ben Malor Show here on Fox. We've got
spot on impersonations. Who remembers Ozzy Guy. Remember Ozzy Guy. Yeah,
if you're a longtime listener, you know Ozzy Guy. Amazing.
We'll have comedy that will be terrible, but we'll try
(26:26):
to laugh at it and you'll be scratching your head.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Now.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Some of it will be good. There'll be some good
jokes there. We'll have surprise celebrity appearances. It's think of
it like a kitchen sink show, if you will. If
it can fit through the radio, we're throwing it at
the you. We're throwing it at you pretty much everything.
There's really no editing process in terms of getting rid
of some people. We let anyone on. Every performer will
(26:52):
get up to two minutes. Now, we want this to
be shorter, but up to two minutes. No more than
two minutes. And he said, well, two minutes is not
that long. Trust me. Think of it like you know
how they say dog years. Dogs age more than people will.
The time on radio goes slower for most people if
you're not used to doing this. So two minutes might
(27:15):
not seem like a lot, it's very valuable. You're going
to reach a lot of people. We're on over six
hundred radio stations. We're on the Sirius XM Fox Sports
Radio channel, broadcasting live there. This show's carried on the
American Forces Network, so we reach our military heroes and
their families all around the globe. We've got a worldwide stage. Baby,
We're up for some We're on radio stations in Perth,
(27:38):
Australia and other random places. I don't even know how
that works. It just very odd. So now keeping law
and order, as I set up this masterpiece keeping law
and order in this traveling the audio fun we have
our esteem panel of judges. Now, of course that would
be yours truly. Hi, my name is Ben, the lovable
(28:00):
Radio Rascal Coop a loop right over there, and there
is and the Queen of the show, that's right, the
f SR Tech Queen La Reina. Why Hi, bed glind
to be here tonight and making his triumphant return. And
I don't see my computer's still dark, so I don't
know if he's on hold or not. But our friend and
classically trained pianist and genuine musician inca terror from New York.
(28:25):
So I think you're like equal parts Simon Cowell, P. T.
Barnum and that weird uncle that shows up at like
Thanksgiving and other festivities, and of course you you will
be part of So the way this normally works, we
will vote for the top three or four at its four,
the top whoever's in the top four. We will then
go to the vote of the people, so we will
have a winner. We will dictate the studio vote and
(28:48):
that will be one winner, and then we'll toss it
out to you and you'll be able to vote and
help decide who the people's choice is. Can I be
the Simon Cowell? Sure? Why are you rude? Are you
hold big stick?
Speaker 4 (29:00):
All?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Right? Well? Yes? And but yeah, you're the peanut gallery,
You're the upper balcony. You can throw raspberries and we
will get real time feedback. One of the fun things
about listening live and one of the reasons that we
have a bigger live audience. A lot of people listening
on the podcast is because you can give real time
feedback on x at ben Mallor. You can cheer, you
can boo the whole thing and grown. And there will
(29:23):
be acts that don't work and unfortunately they will be
gonged off the show. They will be gogged off the show.
So we we say like audience participation isn't encouraged, it's mandatory.
It's mandatory. So it takes an entire village to build
the first class cheeseball variety radio show. New stars will
(29:44):
be born, new stars will be born here in the
overnight Legends will likely stumble Internet Fame Mall or Militia
fame awaits and it's the biggest event of the summer
on the overnight sports radio dial. I'm gonna dominate. We're
gonna set records for downloads and really the most downloads
we're going to get till the NFL season kicks off
(30:05):
in September. So this is it and welcome and must
listen audio the Malor Palooza twenty twenty six officially in town.
That's welcome in our judges. Are you prepared Loraina to
judge Are you ready to do this? Oh my gosh,
I'm just I'm so ready. You're excited looking forward to
this all day? All right, Coop, you're prepared, Yes, you're
mentally prepared to do this, all right? And who will
(30:26):
be keeping You'll be keeping track, Coop of the scores,
will be jotting down the scores. Yes, yes, all right.
We have Inca Terror is joining us from New York.
He is back yet again. Hello Incad Terror, Welcome.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Oh it's great to be back. I've got my three
piece har money suit on, ready to go.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Oh fantasy. Well, I want to point out and I
do want to thank Dorko the comedian, clearly trying to
pay off the judge. He sent me this beautiful Malar
Palooza twenty twenty six cap that I am proudly wearing
right here, and I'm excited. Look what's you're looking at? Right?
And so I'm wearing this thanks to our friend Dorko
the median who sent this. It's great. And so I
(31:03):
think he's going to sell some of these, I believe. So,
if you're in this thing and you want to buy one,
I think Dorko is going to sell a few of them.
So he'll let you know when he calls in later on.
So the judging INCA, I just kind of give you
a brief. And I know I'm going long here, and
I know I shouldn't be going long, and I'm going
a long. But the way I'm going to judge because
people want to know, how do you judge? And I
(31:25):
talked about this on the Fifth Hour podcast over the weekend.
I said, here's how I'm gonna judge. And then the
way it works on a scale of one to ten,
we're all going to go one to ten. Yes, we
all agree on that, one to ten. Everyone yes in Kota. Yes,
all right, all right, So entertainment wow factor, do you
captivate the lister? That's entertainment quality? Do you actually have
(31:45):
any talent? Do you have any skill? Right, you're a
trained musician in Kotera, so you would know better than
me about that.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Absolutely. Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I'm a big originality guy. I love original stuff, you know,
and you can put your twist on it. I used
on the on the Fifth Hour podcast every week and
I talked about the song parodies. The most famous song
parody guy of all time who, for some reason I'm
blanking on his name, But what's the guy's name? He
(32:15):
did the Polish? Yeah, weird Al Yankevis, weird Al Yankovic.
And also delivery. Delivery is a big part of it
as well stage presence. So the way I'm gonna score,
and you guys can have your own criteria, nine ten
or above means a memorable performance, flawless, entertaining, we're hooting
(32:36):
and hollering, we're laughing, we loved it. Seven to eight
I'm pretty good, highly entertained. Might have been a few
things that could have been better. Five to six is
just competent average, Okay, you were good, not great, and
then anything below that not great. Three to four didn't
(32:56):
really prepare, Like hollering, James, I'm sure we'll be the guy.
And then ain't below that just I mean, you're getting goned,
you're getting gomed, all right, So we all agree on that. Yes,
that's my mantra. So any thoughts in kata before we
paused with the cause and then begin the festivities.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Here, I just wanted to say, like a sign of
from experience, that with these classical, prestigious competitions, often the
most memorable people are not the first place winner. So
there's a chance for anyone in this competition, and I'm
looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
It's a great point, and I should have said that
because one of the more famous acts is Hey Mona,
and she did not Kathy and Madison did not win,
but she's become a star over the years.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Win.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
She didn't win, but that song, we loved it. She
became a legend on the show, Kathy and Madison because
of Hey Mona. And it's moments like that was Kathy
sitting at her retirement home in Madison, Wisconsin and with
the you know, just playing a little ditty and become legendary.
(34:04):
All right, So that's it, everyone, I got. I got
a bunch of acts lined up in the leadoff spot here.
We're gonna have some big time names here. We're gonna
pause for the cause, and then we begin the first
couple acts against different night. We're not doing the who
am I? The instant trivia and all that. We're just
gonna have acts, mallow monologues and acts the rest of
the night. We're jam packed, cannot wait to get the
(34:26):
party started. The malor Palooza begins officially with our first act.
We'll get to that and we will.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Do it next be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It is the Ben Malor Show. You are locked in
on the Palooza twenty twenty six. They reminder the show
is broadcast everywhere. It's also podcast The Ben Maler Show
Podcast and the Fifth Hour Podcast. Make sure to subscribe.
You're a fan of the show, become a super fan.
Listen to those podcasts. Support the show. We thank you,
we thank you, We thank you, we thank you, we
(35:01):
thank you. Let's get into it right now. It is
time for the first act of the twenty twenty six
Malard Palooza. And in the leadoff chair as we have
inkoate or celebrity judge right there, and our first act
we go to Bakersfield, California, and we say hello to
Andrew in Bakersfield. Hello Andrew, you're our first act. Do
(35:25):
you need anything for me? Andrew?
Speaker 5 (35:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
But how's it going?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I don't care about that. We don't have time. You
need any sound effects? I can hear you. Are you
ready to go? You've got up to two minutes. We'd
liked less than that. Are you prepared?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
All right? The floor is yours. Our first act of
the Malapalooz at twenty twenty six Andrew from Bakersfield, California.
Speaker 6 (35:51):
First of all, to England, good job, I'm sorry you
didn't continue through. And congratulations to Argentina.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Are you doing, Andrew well?
Speaker 5 (36:01):
When I was.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
Well, I was having difficulty with my Christian faith and evolutions.
So I'm going to quote a British Christian rapper. He said,
it takes more faith to believe in evolution because it's
a theory whose evidence has been disproven. Okay, now here's
the song. It's about Jesus. I saw him marking.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Down the road.
Speaker 5 (36:29):
He warsandle I saw the dust from his feet. It
was so real.
Speaker 6 (36:46):
Yeah, full game.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
My debt is that for game Lord?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Alright, alright, alright, you know we love God. That was
more dedication to Jesus or to the devil rather. All right,
let's go to the judges' scorecards here. Well, first of all,
Andrew wasted. He wasted about forty seconds talking about the
World Cup and whatever else he had there. He is
(37:18):
first up, though it's always difficult to go first on
the scale that we gave one to ten for the
malor palooza. I don't want to take too long because
we can't get other people on here. Was it original?
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
The skill level was terrible. Was it entertaining if you
enjoy shottenfreude? Was the delivery good? Absolutely not. I am
gonna start how many fair? I'm not gonna be a jerk.
I like Andrew a lot. I'm gonna give him a
minus seven. I'm gonna give him a minus seven ink
of terror? What do you think?
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I felt a little sorry for Jesus. I like Jesus too,
and it was a bit pitchy, pitchy, but you know,
he was the first step, So I give him a
three three?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
All right, lorrain, and how'd you score it? He honestly
had stronger vocals than I was expecting. Like, I was
impressed with his vocal I thought that was pretty good. Yeah,
you need to get you need to get in and
go in faster. So I'm gonna I'm gonna give him
a I'm gonna give hm a two. Okay, so you're
minus two, coop.
Speaker 7 (38:23):
I'm by the way I put the zero when you
say a negative score, Oh, I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
We said you do what you want. I do what
I want.
Speaker 7 (38:31):
Anyway, all right, all right, So I was ready to
give a zero. I was so ready I already had
it in my head. And then he started singing, and
I was like, Wow, that's better than I thought it
was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Uh, so I'm gonna give it a three as well.
Oh my god, you people are too nice. All right,
hold on a second, our next, Stac. Let's see if
we have enough time now, Ben at the Comedian, we
have about a ninety seconds. Are you good? Real quick
to do ninety seconds or last? No, it's about two minutes. Okay,
all right, I'll put you on holding. Must give them
the time needed. All right. Well see I don't know now,
(39:03):
I don't know who can do it in less time? Uh, Neil,
how's Uh can't close the deal? Neil? How much time
you need? Can't close the deal? Neil?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I just need about sixty seconds?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
All right? Your floor is yours. Can't close the deal, Neil,
I'm a daredevil. Uh can't close the deal? Neil and
Corbin two of my favorite people. Hung out with them
in Cincinnati back in the day. And the floor is yours, Neil.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
This this is the preposition song. I memorize this in
sixth grade, and I still haven't memorized the same deltitude
of Yankee doodle. Here goes with on four after ad
buy in against instead up near between two well from
under down below through over up according to a broad
across beyond about before behind with him without among around
the midst of or not with standing into.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, all right, can't close the deal, Neal, thank you, Neil,
ink and Tarror. You want to go first, Ink and tear,
Let me make sure you're punched up there, InKo, Terra
pumped it.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
It was educational, it was in tune, it was prepared.
I'm giving it.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
An eight and eight.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
What do you like me? I didn't give it an eight.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
We don't.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
We don't have a lot of time. I thought, you know, listen,
it was much better than Andrew. He got kind of
right to it. It was competent performance. It was enjoyable,
not exceptional. I'm gonna give it a five, Loraina. It
was upbeat and didn't make me question my gong. So
I'm gonna give him a five. A five, all right,
So five and five and then eight from ink tear
(40:28):
my god it Coop, go ahead, Coop. I'm not really
sure what that was I couldn't understand either. I could
not understand that. I did not understand anything. It sounded good,
the beat was good, though, I like I think.
Speaker 7 (40:40):
I think Ka Ta took a little bit too big
of a hit from the from the blunt before.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
If that's an eight, we're screwed. I'm gonna give it
a four. A four, all right, So Coop was actually
lower than I was. All right, we are off to
a great start. Andrew and Bakersfield and Anka Terror are
judge there and then can't close the deal. O'Neil our
first two acts and the big this is gonna even better,
(41:10):
Benett the comedian, other big names lined up. Wait for it.
I can't wait. Oh my god,
Host
Ben Maller
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