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May 15, 2026 42 mins

In hour 3, Ben wonder if this Phillies turnaround has anything to do with Don Mattingly's managerial magic, where are we at with Cal Raleigh's performance so far this season with the Mariners + a new edition of the Lame Jokes of the Week! 

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Holy Cow.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Number three, be happy Friday to you.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
It's the fifteenth day of May and we're talking some
baseball this hour. Also, the fifth Podcast is back. We'll
have new episodes today a little bit later than normal today,
but check that out at some point, and then on
Saturday another new episode and on Sunday the mail Bag
as we sell brate good times unless we don't, but
we'll have some fun with that Fifth Hour podcast. Mal

(00:27):
Ard travel log style and some other stories that have
never been told before, only available only available on the
Fifth Hour Podcast. Now for number three talking to baseball.
Is this Don Mattingly's turnaround in Philly? Is it legit
or just a mirage? Is this Don Mattingly turn around
a legit situation or just a mirage? Also, how would

(00:47):
you describe col Raley's performance or black thereof for the
Mariners this season? And NFL controversy is there are there
for the state of Florida snooping around the NFL's they're
actually moving forward with that. We'll talk about and more
right now here we go, Buckle up, buck Also lame

(01:07):
jokes of the week here an hour number three. It's
a small world. After it's a small, small World, and
here an hour number four The Ben Mallard Show. Happy Friday,
It's the fifteenth day of May. Fifth Hour podcast will
be up later today. A's a companion of the Overnight Show.

(01:27):
So I've been away all week, so I'll do some
extra podcast this weekend. Check that out the Fifth Hour Podcast.
Wherever you ut your podcast, but.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Here an hour number four.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You obviously found this podcast The Ben Maler Show, the
original recipe. Where are we at on the Jalen Hurts
career timeline with the Eagles? More chatter this week about
a separation. Also, give me the ACI Weather forecast for
the Steelers career of TJ Watt And how do you
process the hull blue over Jacksonville quarterback Trevor Lawrence's trip

(01:58):
to the Burmer Shop which became a this week All
that and more right now, having a wonderful weekend, don't
forget Fifth Hour Podcast, new episodes all weekend.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Before we get to that, it's our number.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Four, Changing gears. That's the theme. If you will, welcome
in the beginning of another.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Hour of the Ben Malor Show.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
We are in the air a rewhere as we break
big rocks into smaller rocks and we are the sporty
store that satisfies unless it doesn't. Hanging out coast to coast,
border to border and beyond on the vast and majestically

(02:49):
powerful microphones of FSR, am monating live from the house
as we play to a packed house game. Ron teed
human from the world famous Fox Sports Radio studios. As
we are side by side where JT the Wingman has

(03:12):
let us know. He said, you know, Ben, this hour
is made possible by tirerecks. You know what you JT
the wingman're You're an expert. That's why you get all
these meet and greets. And Ernesto in the Bay Area,
who showed up to both events, had a third one,
the surprise one, but Ernesto flew out to Massachusetts from
San Francisco or his area out there, and it was
great to see Ernesto and he showed up. And Johnny

(03:34):
Q as well also reminded me about Tyreck. For over
forty years, Tyrak has been helping customers from the right
tires for how, what and where they drive. Kathy and
Madison approves ship fast and freeback by free road hazard
protection with convenient installation options like mobile tire installation tire
our Act dot com the way that tire buying should

(03:58):
be see the keyboard that sho would be Now, Rebecca,
the long suffering ram Fan and Doc Dan remind us
that this hour also made possible in part by our
friends at you know that's yes, you are correct. Express
Pros unbelievable. I can't believe it. Facing production swings are

(04:21):
a tough skills gap workforce solutions from Express Employment Professionals
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help you hire smarter and faster. Visit expresspros dot com. Today.
We'll have Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week coming
up later this hour. Also the malor Riddle of the
Day that'll be coming up a little bit later in

(04:41):
the hour. But before we get to all that, our
lead this hour from baseball, and we'll start out at
Finway Pac where Kyle schwarberd did it again. It is
Major League leading eighteenth shore bomb. As the Red Sox
and Phillies were in a scoreless game, a two run

(05:03):
shot broke that too. That scoreless game up in the
eighth inning and the Phillies defeat the Red Sox three
to one. In front of a partial sellout at Finway.
Looked like there were a lot of empty seats there,
although I was just in Boston the other day to
go back after leaving New York and there were tons
of Philly fans like they were overwhelming the town there. Hey,

(05:24):
Philly has turned things around. That's the story, and we'll
start with that. So if you have not been following,
perhaps night the Phillies whacked a Canadian lad Rob Thompson
at nine and nineteen. They had a three to twenty
one winning percentage after twenty eight games. The Phillies Dave
Dombrowski said, that's it, that's all. I can't handle it anymore.

(05:44):
And they were down and now they're back up. The
Phillies are twelve and four. That's a seven fifty winning
percentage since the managerial change to Donnie Baseball, the old
Dodger manager and Yankee legend.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
And they can get to five hundred. The Phillies.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
They play a Pirate team, which is not a bad
team this year. I always just expect the Pirates to suck.
They don't this season, however, that is in Pittsburgh. If
the Phillies continue to play well, can sweep that series.
They'll be over five hundred. So the Phillies are playing better.
The picture has cleared up a bit. They're right there
in the National League East thanks to the Terrible Mets

(06:21):
and the Marlins and the Nationals and all that. So
that is a good jumping off point. Let us discuss
the question. Is this Don Mattingly turnaround in Philly legit
or just a mirage. So I've got my pillow, pit
bull and Judge Judy. We will combine all of these

(06:47):
things together and we are going to make some delicious poutine,
a Canadian treat, the gift to the gods from our
friends in Canada. We love poutine and thanks to Nico
when we Vancouver last year had the full I know,
technically poutine is from Montreal, so I'm told from Quebec.
I've not been to Montreal. So I went to the

(07:10):
next best thing, Vancouver and enjoyed all the great poutine
spots that are making all right.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
So, first of all, to begin here, so.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Don Mattingly did not I do not believe Don Mattingly
has all of a sudden become fixed at Felix and
fixed the Phillies. He just stopped them from tripping over
their own shoelaces against a schedule of dollar menu opponents,
which is great, right, This is looking at it objectively.
And I did watch some of the Red Sox game

(07:37):
with the Phillies. This is a my pillow situation for
fats in Philadelphia. Donnie Baseball for the low information fan
looks like a miracle worker. And Phillies are playing seven
point fifty ball. Since Mattingly took over, they have not
lost a series. All right, so this is a modern

(07:59):
miracle of baseball. However, under the Malard microscope, if you
keep it real here, and we like to because we're
not part of the mainstream, we're on overnight maddingly, just
stumbled into the league's softest pillow for it. That's essentially
what the Phillies have benefited from, and to their credit,
they're taking advantage of it. They're claborating teams like the

(08:19):
Rockies and the A's and the Marlians and the Red Sox,
bottom feeding teams in baseball, to celebrate that. To sell.
If you're the Phillies and you're you're flexing right now,
we're back. You beat the Rockies, the A's, the Marlins
and the Red Sox mostly, that's who you've played here.
It's like saying, hey, I want to fight. You're trying

(08:39):
to impress a lady. I said I want to fight,
and the woman's like, oh, who do you find? Yeah,
if I was in the parking lot, Oh, you must
have fought some goon in the park. No, no, no, no no.
I got into a fight with the traffic cone and
I beat the traffic Well, who's gonna brag about that?
You played a bunch of traffic cones. That's what the Rockies,
A's Marlins and Red Sox are there, a bunch of
traffic cones. If beating tocans makes you a savior, if

(09:03):
God Madden is now the Messiah of the Phillies, then
Marcel in Brooklyn is a Michelin star chef for heating
up oodles of noodles in the microwave. So the Phillies
spent seventeen percent of the season as chronic underachievers, dead beats,

(09:23):
and now they've feasted on some hungry puppies, and and
you can get to October beating up the bad teams.
There are enough bad teams in baseball that you can
do that. The real story to me in Philly is
the shar bomb. Kyle Schwarber is not just on a heater.
He is on a federal watch list. At this point.
He thought, well, I think he had fifty six homers

(09:43):
last year and he signed a big contract. You're like, wow,
he's not going to do that again. Usually there's a regression.
So he's on pace now if my math is correct,
he's on pace for sixty seven home runs. And so
you get to that level. I mean, he's like and
he I love that he always comes back and just

(10:04):
shoves it up the you know what of the Red
Sox as he was beloved. He briefly played for the
Red Sox and they didn't want to bring him back.
They want to pay him worth the money. Well okay,
bad job by them. And and he's like aviation hazard
every time he plays against the Red Sox, so pretty
much anybody else this year with thirty three years old,
and he's still hitting at this point like a show
boat in his prime, just monster mashing Kyle Schwarb. Schwarber,

(10:29):
who's just like an old school throwback to when you
know these guys were.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Just that's it.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
That's one thing you do and that's it. You just
hit home runs and that's all he's doing. Not secondly
to Seattle, where the Mariners have done it, they have
said bye bye to cal Rally now, not bye bye
bye bye, just bye bye for now. Cal Raley, Oh
my old blake. Yeah, he's on the what he used

(10:55):
to call back in the old days of the disabled list,
but then the Wolkeser's got involved, so now it's the
injured list, which is much better than disabled. Now, every
time I see a disabled parking thing, I get very offended.
I say, oh my god, that is so offensive to me.
We must change disabled parking. Why do they have that anyway? Ah,
I guess major League Baseball they still have disabled parking
at stadiums, but they get rid of the stable list.

(11:16):
That's a different conversation. So cal Raley, he did snap
an zero for thirty eight slump earlier this week. He
led baseball in dingers in the last last season, last season,
and he has now done a one point eighty a
one eighty career arc. He is batting cal rally one

(11:38):
sixty one on Interstate one sixty one with seven home
runs and eighteen runs batted in. So the question for
the class. How would you describe cal Rawley's performance for
the Mariners this season? So I will use one word
and it comes from Pitbull the I will use it

(12:00):
this old song fireball. All right, cal Raley, the Magic
Carpet ride from twenty twenty five did not just crash.
It burst into a fireball somewhere over a puget sound like.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
This isn't a death spiral.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
This is a corkscrew into the mighty Pacific Ocean. The
Merri's offense has been inconsistent. At one point, it was
so bad this season that even the baseball gods had
filed a formal complaint about the middling Mariners. As for
cal Raley this season, and you look at the e
juxtaposed last season in this season, it's like the arc

(12:39):
went from Disney ride with a lot of like dancing,
laughing fish and mermaids to a disaster documentary and right now,
right now, and who knows what's gonna happen. Cal Raley
is on pace to hit under two hundred with twenty
five home runs and sixty five runs back at it,

(13:01):
and is having one of the worst offensive seasons you
can have considering the amount of money and all that
and the year that he had last year. And so
you wonder, is the swing the saw a wing by it?
You know, I'm an expert because I pitched for the WUSS. Now,
so is the swing broken beyond recognition? Is the confidence
completely shock by the time by the time cal Raley returns,

(13:25):
you always take the over them. When these guys go
on the inter list, it's only ten days, it's you know,
it'll be longer than that. So by the time he
gets back, he'll be pushing. We'll be pushing June. That'd
be late May, early June. This year becomes a pure
salvage and recovery mission. Now one thing is certain though,
watching this again, I'll use the word fireball. Dissent has

(13:47):
been anything but a party for the hard old Seattle Mariner.
Fair like, just horrific horrorball on every level. Right now,
final thought, We heading out of the court room rule
drama and we go to the Sunshine State where the
Attorney General for the Honorable State of Florida has not

(14:08):
just issued.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
A hollow threat, they followed.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Up on it. Oh woh, yes, interesting story. So the
Florida Attorney General's Office has issued a subpoena of the
National Football League. Hello, yes, let me repeat this for
those who in the back of the room not paying attention.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
The Florida Attorney General has done it.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
They've issued a subpoena of the NFL as they investigate
whether the league has committed a potential civil rights violation
related to the Ruoning Rule and the league's other employment
practice or practices I should say, policies, programs, all the
woke stuff the NFL has added over the years.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
So the Florida Attorney.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
General, I remember, we talked about this in March, and
here we are in mid May. So the Attorney General
threatened possible enforcement action against the league in March if
they did not suspend the twenty plus year old Rooney Rule.
And at the time I was like, wow, this is
just some political bull crap. They're not going to actually

(15:15):
follow through for this. You're just trying to get attention. Okay, Well,
well here we are. Surprise they're actually following through with it.
They send a subpoena along with a letter to the
NFL this week course made everything public. The subpoena commands
the rogerd l led NFL, the Wolkesers over there to
appear at the Attorney General's office in Tallahassee on June twelve.

(15:38):
We might have to said Jed. Maybe we'll send Jed
who fled as our reporter or weed man hippie. We'll
send them to the courthouse to ask goofy questions on
June and twelfth. Anyway, in the letter, it asked the
NFL to produce extensive documents, including all diversity reports, coaching
census data, or demographic surveys that reflect the race and

(15:59):
sex coaching staffs of the teams. This goes back to
twenty seventeen, so you can look and say, well, it's
twenty twenty six. That's a long time twenty seventeen to president.
Quote continues. All in all, the Rooney rule in the
NFL's related inclusive hiring policies in the NFL's representations about
these policies continue to raise significant concerns under Florida law.

(16:23):
According to the Attorney General. Keep in mind, Florida has
three teams that represent the NFL in Jacksonville, Tampa, and
then Miami. So the question, this is all my question,
and we can all practice law on the radio.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
Is there a there there for.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
The State of Florida snooping around the NFL's Rooney rules.
One thing to say you're gonna subpoena, they're actually doing it.
Now keep on in the NFL doesn't have subpoena laws
when they investigate stuff because they're not real. It's just
a food you know, it's a kangaroo court. So the
question is there a there there for the State of
Florida Attorney general snooping around the NFL's Rooney rule. All right,

(17:04):
so the league, I don't know how else it says
they got subpoenad saw penid. You don't subpoena people you trust.
You subpoena people you think are lying to your face.
Only in the NFL. This is how great the NFL is,
this monstrosity of an operation. Only in the NFL could
a policy advertise as quote inclusive trigger a civil rights

(17:28):
investigation for excluding people based on race.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
That's essentially what am.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
I reading this?

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Right?

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Am I right on this?

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Like the NFL is going.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Around pulling their chest out for the last twenty years.
The Rooney rule is great. You know we're gonna help
close a gap. And now I am granted it's twenty
three years later. But only in the NFL can this policy,
which they've bragged about for years about being inclusive, trigger
a civil rights investigation.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
It's so perfect.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
It's a chef's kiss for excluding people based on race. Now,
when a state attorney general orders you to show up
up to Tallahassee with seven years of race and sex
hiring data, that doesn't seem like an invitation.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
That's a come to Jesus meeting.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
With the clock on the wall, like, hey, all right,
so what do you do here? And if you keep
it real, it's not a request. It's more like a
colonoscopy with a really large flashlight and a search party.
And if your hiring rule needs a legal defense team,
which would appear the NFL has to. I know they
have lawyers on retention and all that, but the if

(18:32):
your rule needs a defense team, a hiring rule, maybe
it's not what you're saying it is.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
Now.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
You can call it inclusive hiring all you want, but
if the paperwork sorts people based by race and sex,
lawyers in court call that exhibit a your honor, And
so you can hide behind all the cool slows and
hashtags you want. The documents, the physical in this case

(19:06):
called digital evidence, so that the Attorney General wants that's it.
You know, I learned this as a kid watching Judge Judy.
This case would end with Judge Judy. It would end
in like five minutes. Okay, did you classify applicants by race? Yes?
Or no? Okay? Case closed court, cost to the league
and more and more, and that's it. So we'll see it.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
And this is something I'm missing here now. The way
out of this.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Always when you deal with political types is you just
cut a check, like the NFL before this event in June,
just donates some money to some politicians in Florida, and
all of a sudden, this will we'll just go away
and that'll be that. Otherwise they want to lock in
on this. You talk about this becoming an issue where

(19:55):
the NFL doesn't always about a thousand on these things,
and this goes little deeper, and then the next thing
you know, it ends up going all the way up
to the Supreme Court. And then you look at what
appears to be a clear violation. I think it's Title
seven of the Civil Rights legislation in America. So that's
a pretty wild story that is outstanding by the NFL.

(20:18):
That they have a rule that they've bragged about for years,
which according to the State of Florida. They're saying, well,
we don't think that's actually that's kosher. That's something a
little off on that. It is The Ben Mahlor Show.
In the meantime, if you'd like to be part eight
seven seven ninety nine on FUSS, we have a segment
of your calls. Also Lame Jokes of the Week coming
up a little bit later. Time Now for the Mallor

(20:40):
Riddle of the day, The Malor riddle today. So the
fine folks at Peta are very mad at forty nine
or tight end George Kittle for bragging about blank. Again,
you can answer this on X at Ben Mahler. The
people at Peta are very mad at forty nine ers
star tight end George Kittle for breaking about blank. That

(21:01):
is the malor Riddle of the day. The answer, We'll
get to it and we will do it next.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Malor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Hey, this is Jason McIntyre.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
Join me every weekday morning on my podcast Straight Fire
with Jason McIntyre. This isn't your typical sports pod pushing
the same tired narratives down your.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Throat every day.

Speaker 5 (21:31):
Straight Fire gives you honest opinions on all the biggest
sports headlines, accurate stats to help you win big at
the sportsbook, and all the best guests. Do yourself a
favor and listen to Straight Fire with Jason McIntyre on
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Malor Show.
As we are settling back in for the very grueling
one day work week.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
With the Fifth Hour Podcast.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
We'll be back up later today. It will be a
new episode the very popular Mallard Travelog with never before
told stories of the great sojourn to meet the Mallard
Militia the latest event and so check that out Fifth
Hour Podcast. Also we want to see photos. If you
have working eyeballs, or if you're blind and just want

(22:21):
to guess what you're looking at, then you can check
out the social media pages of the Ben Maler Show,
which you should be following anyway, not on x That's
what we use during the show At Ben Maller. But
on the Facebook page it is Ben Mahler's show a
bunch of photos and some other things on there. Also
on Instagram, Ben Maller on Fox. As we mentioned here

(22:45):
on x it's at Ben Mahler can sale to our
friend Lorena is still recovering from is a jet lag?

Speaker 6 (22:53):
Yeah, I don't know what it is at this point.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yes, FSRAG FSR tech queen and its sign into my
chat box. That's right.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
And I checked my message request the other day.

Speaker 6 (23:05):
Oops.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, not a Yeah, you don't want to do that. Yeah,
you especially I have other issues. You have certain issues.
You have to deal with this.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
But Brianna is in for coop.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Our friend bray Breed Denise twenty six, and she's the
only person I've ever met that likes the Saints and
the Sons. That is a very odd combination. I've never
met anyone who's into those teams. But you know, there
you go, the Saints, Yikes.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
We are We're back.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yeah, I gotta pay off the Mallory Riddle of the day.
The Mallory Riddle of the day here it is so
the people at Peta are very mad at forty nine
or tight end. George Kittle the Star there for bragging
about blank and that is the question. What is the answer?
Donkey sausage. Good to see Donkey's name out there says,

(23:55):
bragging that he knows the final jeopardy answer. Yeah, that
would be That would be had Michael from Parts Unknown
says for dating one of the pedo women who would
like to show up naked to events. Are they still
doing that? I thought that was years ago they stopped that.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
What else?

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Keith says for bragging about crop dusting his dog, Well,
that would not be right. Josh, the Bears fan in
Nebraska cheated, He got it right. Bad job by him.
Ostriche Ant from d c our Buddy the Great artist,
osriche Ant says for bragging about geese eating grass. Yes,

(24:36):
that would be the geese there, my god, all right,
the evil geese of the world. Is there a meaner
creature on average than the geese? Sawman says for bragging
about his Dalmatian fur coat he is making. That's from
the saw man in Mississippi. Eloy from Compton says bragging
about his cock fighting. That's right. Shout out to the

(24:59):
Dodger closer. Big story we talked about Earlier, Edwin Diez
tied into a cockfighting scandal in Puerto Rico, developing Hot
Dot Dot King Rory says for using plastic straws, yes, sorry.
There are certain things in life that you just have
to laugh at, Like when you go to the grocery store. Well,
here in California, you go shopping, and they got rid

(25:21):
of plastic bags because that's going to ruin the environment.
And they got rid of plastic straws because that's going
to ruin the environment. And literally almost every food you
buy in the store is wrapped in plastic. That's okay,
But the straws that's the problem. And the bags that's
the turtle's ben Yes, the turtles sure destroy the turtles.
I'm sure, yes, all right, what else do we have?

(25:42):
Let's see here. Alf says his cat recipes is the problem.
Kangaroo skin thong from Nick very graphic thanking for that
late night drug. Tessa says they are upset his beard
is made of real fur. Ye analog Al says beating
the jets is the answer. Johnnyk Youugh says his cooties
steamy meatballs good to see his name as well. Says

(26:04):
he's also going with cock fighting and who else page
dan Mark the Walker very funny, very funny slug in Vegas.
We're gonna have a vent in Vegas later this year,
sometime in August from a corner slug Bragg that he
beat up WWF legend Ted Doka as that that's the answer, right,

(26:26):
do you have an answer? Lorraine? Apparently eating eagles was
guessed by Ike and Roseville, Minnesota. That's not nice and hunting.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Wabbitts, watch out Wabbitt from JT.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
The Wingman. Peter was mad at him because he bought
a new dog instead of adopting. Oh okay, yeah, you
should not do that. That's they do not want that.
Remember when I was a kid, there was this guy
named Bob Barker nobody knows who is. He's dead now,
and he said, have all your your pet sprayed? And
newter at the That was always how he intertwer it
and I seek correct. The correct answer is also not
bragging about using rogaine on his hairless rat pack. That's

(26:57):
from Bill. The correct answer the people the Peter very
mad at forty nine or tight end George Kittle for
bragging about killing a spider.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
In his bathroom.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Oh my god, I am so of Oh my.

Speaker 6 (27:13):
God, is Peter like protecting spiders? Now, I didn't know
that was.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Oh it's not right.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
You shouldn't kill spiders.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
She shouldn't do that. This guy used to work with
who may or may not be called Tom Looney. He
claimed that Peter was just two people that had back
in the old days, back and then we used to
use this. He used this joke back in the old days,
he said, two people with a fax machine. Now it's
two people that just write up press releases and send
them out to like newspapers and TV stations or whatever.
That yeah, spider, I guess they'd be mad at all

(27:43):
of us. I've killed the spider. Have you killed the spider?
The rainer? I have, but I also want a pet spider.
Oh stop, Brie, have you killed a spider? Brie? Have
you killed the spider?

Speaker 6 (27:52):
Oh my god, I've killed millions.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Right, you're you're you're a multi murderist whatever, you're a
serial killer.

Speaker 6 (28:01):
But I actually did last week. I actually threw a
spider in a cup and I took it outside. I
had like, I had a moment of like.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Gots so sweet.

Speaker 6 (28:09):
I don't know why I didn't want to kill it.
I had like a moment I felt kind of bad.
I gave him a name.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
I called him Chuck, and that spider laughs at you
and came back.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
No, no, no, no, are you sleeping? That's what spider did.

Speaker 6 (28:19):
Now he's on sixth Street and so beach. It's fine.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
That's that spider crawled all the way back.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
And said no, just like crows, they remember your face
and they're like coming to defind you, is what they're coming.
This is ridiculous. All right. Anyway, there you go. We
got lame jokes coming up a little bit later this hour.
Let's go to the phones and we'll say hello to
eeny meany miney mo. Let's say hello to who do

(28:44):
we have here? Let's go to Jed who fled? Jed
who fled is somewhere in the Redneck Riviera. Hello, Jed
who fled? Welcome?

Speaker 7 (28:55):
Who can that be?

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Lady?

Speaker 3 (29:00):
I lived there?

Speaker 7 (29:00):
To actually the host show we he'd be back. We
did not know when, like twenty fourteen. I thought here
was vacation West turn and then dude, oh, you get
arrested on the outside of the car fighting. There's a
good chance you probably think your selfing was car fighting
on the inside. If you.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, it was twenty.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
It was twenty on nine. By the way, it was
not twenty twenty fourteen, twenty or nine. It's the same
I do.

Speaker 7 (29:25):
Hey, I can make mistakes, but guess what I said.
But I actually do the practice because I just get
different memory. I don't know why I started twenty fourteen. Hey, dude,
that's what time warp. Guess what Hey did?

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Why was it?

Speaker 7 (29:34):
Why was the chicken pressed with the rooster? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:37):
Really really big?

Speaker 7 (29:42):
That was? That was all right?

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Look, if you see approved, you sounded like you sounded
like Anthony. At the end of that. You sounded like
Anthony Louisiana Highway.

Speaker 7 (29:53):
There's no way that wasn't think I said, hey, listen,
if you state you shouldn't kill us spotter, there's no
there's no way, Lina, no way I am because you
need to chuck that stuck out of the window. And
but you put it in a cuff, and he says
his weakness. If you're talking like you've named it, you
know what spiders have names, talking and creatively thinking spiders
in the movies. And they will reattack, they'll retreat, regroup

(30:14):
and readvance and they'll they'll be they'll make them. You
eat them because we supposed to eat spiders. Of course,
we're our lives. I don't know if that's real thing
or not.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Oh yeah, they said you eat is it eight spiders?
Say year? No, I think it's a lifetime. And there
are spiders.

Speaker 7 (30:32):
Like Fred your house.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
But yet but yet, you know, like they're they allow
the FDA in America allows certain bug parts to be
in your food. So we're eating spiders when we're you know,
you're munching on the cheetos or whatever little spider parts
in there, whatever the food is. You know, no.

Speaker 7 (30:49):
Good, I really, I do, really know.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Think about it, Jeed, how did how did you survive
Jet Jed?

Speaker 1 (30:54):
How did you survive when I was away? Everything? Okay?
Well you more?

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Glenn back? What were you doing right?

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (30:59):
And now Brian, now that's how I'm usually lessons with
another work in all week.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
And guess what he was.

Speaker 7 (31:07):
One time he was like, I'm going to my favorite
caller and I was just I was stepped out of
my carck gou, I got loose, I did a couple
of jumping Jackie bore up and I was like, oh, like,
oh you, bud, you're gonna go Brian Shott and were
like at me and it was totally Marcel, and I
was just crushed.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
I thought it was definitely gonna.

Speaker 7 (31:22):
Be a favorite caller. But and that was that was
that was really.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
That was really I've been a spot tocount of this.

Speaker 7 (31:29):
Then, yeah, what kind of what kind of food is it?
Sign out food? What kind of boat ship? But perchy, Yeah,
I really got ad budget pretty hard on the drugs.
So I don't know if I need I don't know
if I need.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
All Right, all right, I'm glad you called in, Genlem,
so it's so happy. We're very happy that you called it.
I never hang up on you. But you think it's
not you. It's it's really you, but not you know,
not you you, it's more you you, you know what
it is. Let's keep going here. Phones has been amazing
and can only get better. Let's say hello to any
meany miny moe. Let's go to We'll say aloha. We

(32:03):
go now to Hawaii with This guy is such a
ladies man that women were reaching out to me to
try to meet him. Dorko the comedian in Hawaii Aloha,
Dorko Hi.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
Hi tonight. I'm Dorko the hippidy Hopper. I'm the number
one stunner. I drive a four runner. I play me
some golf and I drink till I Ralph. I get
golf ball from a pond and dye my hair blond.
That's all I know. Oh my god, I love this show.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Well, as we say. When people look at you, they say,
ooh la la, there he is Dorko the comedian. Vavoom,
they say, the said, most amazing you. I'm still shocked.
Of all the people that call the show, you're the
only one recently, and this happened years ago, but the
only one recently that a female reached out to me
said I need to get in contact with Darko the comedian,

(32:57):
And you're such a big stud Dorko, you said, I
want nothing to.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
New with that woman at all.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Leave her alone. I want to know listen, I did
want nothing to do with her.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Yes, I only had lies for Lorena.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yes, okay, well you can. Are you looking at it
right now?

Speaker 4 (33:18):
Better not be No, No, I'm not, I'm not I'm
not anything.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
You want to take a call Dorco Okay, sure, all right,
let's put him, lock him in there, breathe, Let's go.
Blind Scott wants to say low hello, Blind Scott saylo
to dork over comedian Blind Scott. All right, Blind Scott's
probably gone. Let's see who wants to say hello to?

Speaker 4 (33:39):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
I don't want to put you on with that person.
That's not good. I guess nobody wants to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
What about the hollering guy?

Speaker 1 (33:47):
And I think he's sleeping? He was online, he fell
asleep though.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
He couldn't where Scott from anyway.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
He's from a different planet, far away, far far away.
How's business? Everything good? Any gigs coming up? Any any
comedy gigs you got coming up here?

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Well, I'm working on I'm working on material for the Benapaluza.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
It's actually the Mallard Palooza, not the Bena plu ben
MALAPALUZI eventually get it. Right now, are you starting to
do stadium? Because we were in Boston and Shane Gillis
was performing at the Garden there and in a big event.
It was so big that alf the Alien O Piner
went to that over the mallor meet and greet that
first night. That's how big that was.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
I'm gna I know are you.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Doing any stadium gigs?

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Well, we have we have not not stadium anymore. They're
crushing it down. They're going to build a new Ilaha stadium.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
That was the joke. You should have done it. You
should have said, I'm performing at a Loha stadium. It's
a construction zone right now. That would have been the joke. Right.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Yeah, we have the Blaze Yel. We had the Blaize
Yell owned by CBS.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
I think I have no idea what that is. But
the basketball arena looks nice. Where the Hawaii team plays,
it looks nice.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
But yeah, that's Dan Sheriff and we just won the
championship for volleyball the man volleyball O.

Speaker 7 (35:08):
Is that right?

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Are you making that up?

Speaker 4 (35:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, no, you're not making that now? All right, thank you, Dorc.
I'm gonna go go there to Dork of the Comman
all right. Yes, Actually, by his standards, I would say
that that's not bad, not bad. Uh No, Okay. We
have big bands, lame jokes all the week, big bends,
lame jokes of the week. These are actual job. I
was all concerned. I've been away for a few days,

(35:31):
but you guys came through with a bunch of jokes,
so we'll have a full big band's lame du bre.
Make sure weed Man calls in. If he's not there,
let me know. I'll reach out to him always there. Okay,
look at that, all right, well, big bangs, lame jokes
of the week.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
We'll get to that and we will do it next.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. It
is I Bill Miller. Do not adjust your audio device.
Yes long National Lightmere has.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Ended a reminder that the Ben Malor Show is always
readily available, never covered up. On the iconic iHeart Radio app.
You can hear the live stream. Now you should listen
on your local radio station. Support local radio, make local
radio matter again. But for some reason, if we get
covered up by something on the iHeartRadio Fox Sports Radio

(36:22):
iHeart channel, you will hear the entirety of the Ben
Maler Show. Listen on Fox Sports Radio channel all night,
every night, the Ben Malor Show. You can also get
the Ben Malor Show podcast, the Fifth Hour Podcast new episodes.
Braeze part of that. Now, she's so excited and that'll
be coming up today and then again on Saturday and Sunday,
three episodes, unique standalone original audio content all weekend long

(36:46):
your companion when you do the Honey New List on
Saturday morning and Sunday and all that.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
So check out the iHeartRadio app. We can get all
that content.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Knock knock, who's there?

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Blame week, Blame week.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
It's Big Man's lame joke of the week.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
All right, now, the man, I'm Matt.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
I had a great time.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
I gotta hang out with Matt.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
He's been a big fan of the show, and.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Matt's been listening, Say Susan Kitty. I hung out with
him in Wooster. It was awesome and Matt offered to
fly weed Man in and we man. It was great
to see a weed man, hippie. I'm so happy that
you took the offer and you flew up the Boston Man.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Was it great. We had a wonderful time. I hope
you had a good time.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
You didn't smoke any weed while you were there or
drink anything, though, very odd.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
So come on, the guy is the last guy to
shod me candy? Please send me more candy.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
You never remember his name?

Speaker 1 (37:43):
No, that's all right? Oh my god, we all right
here we go.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
Oh my god, I have a genious show.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
You can send him more.

Speaker 6 (37:52):
Candy because he has.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
Yeah, that's Lisa, Lisa with the first show right there, Lisa, Yes,
but you too. I want you to know you were
both talked about. People at the meet and greet in
Boston were like, where's weed man hippie?

Speaker 2 (38:09):
I said, no, no, no, Lisa, no.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Weed man hippie. Not here. But let's get to the jokes.
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. Unlike well, Lisa
is a listener. She called in with weed men. So
Noah in Austin. What's that made me? Left? Okay, yes,
we'll try to make you laugh. Noah in Austin, Texas. Right, Sinces.
Why is weed man immune to the hantavirus? Why because

(38:33):
he's been living around rats for years? All right, what
happens when weed men gets really really stoned? What he
blanks out? He blanks out is what he.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's from heat in Roseville, Minnesota.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
All right, did you hear that weed man hippie got
a job working as a scientist for a pet food company.

Speaker 7 (39:00):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Cool?

Speaker 7 (39:01):
Really, yeah, it was.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Really good news.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Except Georgie and you've aalde Texas reminds us that unfortunately
the dog ate your homework, so it's it's unfortunate thing.
If you would like to send jokes, it's Ben Malor
Show at gmail dot com if you want to send
jokes in and weed Man will laugh at pretty much everything.
At this point, what did weed Man hit Be do

(39:24):
when his cardboard box house got flooded?

Speaker 7 (39:28):
Oh no, what did I do?

Speaker 1 (39:30):
You move to higher ground? Weed Man? You did? It's Darryl.
Darryl and the Ozark sent that one in. Well, big
news here, surprising. I don't know if you heard about this.
Weed Man has replaced Kirk Signetti as the pace car
driver for the Indy five hundred. Eh wow, really yeah,

(39:52):
apparently the move the move was way made to get
more woke people to tune in. Weed Man said, Google me,
I'm a a high achiever, very high achiever. Tom Tom
and Indiana sent that one in too. Here that Mike
Rabel also reached out to weed Man. Hippie what yeah, yeah.

(40:14):
Now that weed Man has an apartment, Rabel wants to
sublet his old cardboard box so I don't know if you're.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Going to allow that or not.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
Joe, Joe and Virginia Beach sent that one in. Well,
if weed Man, hippie drank beer, what would his first
choice be?

Speaker 5 (40:31):
What?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Well, he'd be living the Miller high.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Life is what he was doing.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
That'st Darryl. What was your what was your favorite beer?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Weed Man? When you drank beer.

Speaker 7 (40:44):
Back in the day, you remember something?

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Wow, you're dating yourself, weed Man, is what I am?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Right? Yeah, all right?

Speaker 2 (40:53):
Why did no?

Speaker 1 (40:55):
I only admit it in years? Why didn't weed Man
fly to Boston? Why? Well, apparently the airline tickets were
too high, is what they were. That's uh. Mike the
Leperchun was a joke, was a theme of these jokes.
Who is weed Man's favorite football player? Well, it's a
Dante high Tower, of course. That's a mikee from Parts Unknown.

(41:21):
Why why did why did blind Scott have twelve drinks
at the Mighty Squirrel tap Room?

Speaker 3 (41:27):
Why?

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Because it was free?

Speaker 1 (41:30):
That's why. That's true. After after twelve drinks, How did
blind Scott feel blind drunk?

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Is how he felt?

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Weed Man. That's Mike again. He did a great job,
Mike the Lepergaun hosting us. Why why did Marcel and
Brooklyn get upset? His socks get upset doing his socks
in the laundry. Why because everything was a mismatch and
he was very bothered by that. That's Mike. There you go,

(42:01):
Lucky Tony wrote in what is Delante West's favorite Godfather quote?

Speaker 2 (42:07):
What take the canole? Take the canole?

Speaker 1 (42:12):
That is his favorite show.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Take a weed, man and Lisa love you both. Be
safe kids.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
There they go.
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Host

Ben Maller

Ben Maller

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