July 14, 2026 • 41 mins
Ben Maller talks about the Christian Pulisic World Cup marketing flop, where all of these hydration breaks in soccer are headed, the mandatory FIFA ego-stroking with "dignitary shots" during the World Cup, Maller's Mountain of Money: RIP Sam Neill Edition, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here we go, Geronimo, Here we go Geronimo, and believe
it or not, the rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate
bonus Mallard monologue about the World Cup. Now, this Christian
polistic the star for Team USA turned out to be
a gigantic marketing flop. Where do you stand on this?
(00:23):
It's expected he will lose millions of dollars in endorsements
as Captain America did not live up to the hype. Also,
where are these hydration breaks in soccer headed as they
have debuted in recent years in the World Cup? And
is this mandatory FIFA ego stroking where they have mandatory
(00:43):
dignitary shots on the TV broadcast during the World Cup?
A big deal, a little deal or no deal. We'll
take a look at that and more. Right now, here
we go. It's our number three. It is not red
white and blue, It is red white and broke. What
(01:06):
welcome In the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Malor Show. We are in the air em reware, breaking
big wat rocks into small little rocks. As we do
it all night. We warm the bench, We absolutely warm
the bench. We try not to miss the mark. We
(01:27):
try not to miss the mark. Coast to coast, border
to border and beyond on the vast and muscularly powerful
microphones of FSR am monating live from the Derby the
audio home run derby Garanteed Human in the world famous
Fox Sports radio studios where magic happens, and Tom from
(01:54):
Fullerton reminds us this hour made possible in part by
our friends at tire Rack over forty years, so I've
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The way tire buying should be now out back John
and Joanna. They live out in the San Gabriel Valley
in La in Covina, and they both agree, and you
know couples do not normally agree on things, they both agree.
(02:37):
The top line in a commercial this year bend it
like Beckham, of course the spin on that is, build
it like Beckham. That's the spin So upgrade your FIFA
World Cup twenty twenty six set up, build it like Beckham.
See I said it for out back John and Joanna
from living room to lawn with the home Depot and
(02:59):
take the fast free delivery assists the Home Depot Official
FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six supporter, subject to availability
ferg Dog giving that the thumbs up, big thumbs up
on that. Stay com stay absolutely calm. It's okay. Now,
who's your Bill and Mark and Queens? They said, Ben,
can you give me a solid on that wee Bowl?
(03:20):
I said, yes I can. If Mark and Queens wants
a solid on the wee Bowl, we got you, all right,
We absolutely got you. And so here we go and
econ Roseville as well, rosewo Minnesota. We got your solid.
So it's time to get your financial portfolio game ready
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(03:42):
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So a little while ago, I had made a bold
decree that we were done with full World Cup monologus.
(04:03):
This upset my guy Femi in Minnesota. He loves the
top Uber. Each driver there loves hot World Cup talk.
And so this is a dedication to the hard work
that Femi does traveling around the Twin Cities delivering hogis
and sandwiches and all the other things that people eat
(04:23):
as he's out and about there driving around Minnesota. So
our lead this hour is from the World Cup. Now
I have a mantra, you know my mantra here that
I always start with a blank canvas. And much like
my hero Bob Ross, I used to watch when I
would ditch school, and I ditched a lot of school,
and Bob Ross was always on TV. So I'd watch
the game shows they used to be on the morning,
(04:44):
and then when the game shows ended, they put these
things called soap operas on and I didn't watch those.
So then I had to go over to PBS and
they had Bob Ross painting a masterpiece. And so that's
my goal to do the Bob Ross thing. And so anyway,
a player named Christian Polisic. You might not know who
that is, you've certainly seen him on TV. Polisic, there's
(05:05):
a World Cup fiasco which is still playing out here.
These sports business people have been buzzing the level of
debacle that this has become. So if you have not
been listening to the chatter, perhaps not. In the week
after the US men's national team did a belly whopper
(05:26):
in the World Cup, it turns out that Christian Polisic
has remained a constant presence on the boob tube. He
has remained a World Cup pitchman, a robust collection of
endorsement deals. Now, Polisics, his pitchman portfolio is very deep,
(05:48):
very very deep. It includes huge brands like Puma, degree deodorant,
Hershey's chocolate. It's got a car dealership that he a
car maker, that he does commercials for a bunch of
other things as well. And it turns out we are
told that that massive portfolio of endorsements is in stranger danger.
(06:09):
There is risk here he brings in. This is shocking
to me because I had never heard of this guy
before the World Cup. I'dn noyed who he was. And
this dude's clearing twenty million dollars a year in endorsements somebody,
I have no idea who he is. I came out
of nowhere and they give him all these great nicknames.
I'm like Wow, that seems cool. It seemed like they
just made him up, Like it's like some fictional story
(06:32):
like this create some American the great hope of American soccer,
and he's been playing overseas and it's an interesting story.
I get it. Twenty million those seems like a lot,
a lot of money. Hey, it's good jumping off point.
Let us discuss the question, how do you stand on
the Christian polistic World Cup marketing flop? And oh what
(06:54):
a flop it has been. I've got Churchill Downs, Asian
carp and Family Bowl, and we will combine all of
these things together and we are going to have a
picnic of uncrustables and Dino nuggets. That's what we're gonna have.
I gonna have a child's diet. Why not. Now, first
of all, we are not wasting a single ounce, a
(07:18):
single ounce of sympathy for Madison Avenue, because that's really
who took this in the shorts, is Madison Avenue. Here,
this Christian polisic story, the World Cup marketing boondoggle, let's
call it, what is boon Doggle is the biggest sports
marketing flop since when I was much younger, and there
(07:39):
were these guys named Dan and Dave. Now, if you're
of a certain age, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Early nineties Olympics. Dan and Dave Reboch spent a amazing
amount of money buying commercials and ads. They used to
have these things called magazines and newspapers people used to
read before the Internweb, and they bought all the ad space.
(08:02):
Oh my god, everything was about Dan and Dave. And
then they got to the Olympics and they fell into
a pit of vipers. A trapdoor open up, opened up,
and Dan and Day fell down. It was not good.
So the corporate suits, they really manufactured a mythical superhero
version of Polisic that it turns out never actually existed.
(08:27):
Is that a hot take? Is that an accurate take?
Is that a bad take? So what they did is
in the cartoon bubble above my head, the people that
make decisions on advertising, they went to Churchill Downs and
they thought they were betting on a thoroughbread and they
got a Clydesdale. They got a Clydesdale plastering ads featuring
(08:51):
slogans like Captain America. I always thought Captain America had
a shield and all that stuff. And the Lebron James
of American Sucker. Yeah, okay, turns out that you cannot
photoshop a superstar to perform like a superstar. He lacked
(09:12):
the marketable charisma. What they should have done is the
James Harden of American Sucker. Now that would have worked
really well, or the Kawhi Leonard of American Sucker. Because
he's always hurt, always hurt. So don't let the mouth.
I learned this is a good Don't let your mouth
write checks the body cannot cash. So the Komodo dragon
(09:35):
in the room, the Komodo dragon in the room is
that Polisic flat out sucked at a time you cannot suck. Right.
And while the United States men's national team crashed and
burned in a brutal four to one embarrassment where the
defense collapse, the goaltender looked like he was playing on
(09:57):
a Saturday morning at the local park, waiting for orange
slices and a sun kissed juice box. It was a
disaster against Belgium and all that. This guy Polistic went
goldless and vanished in the injury tent for the World Cup.
That's what he did. He was good at getting hurt
and not making an impact. And so Madison Avenue, they
(10:18):
had all that greed going right, they were blinded not
by the light. They were blinded by the idea that
they could create this amazing lumber jack type figure Jack
and the beanstock type figure and how did that work
out well? And losing millions of dollars on this deal
(10:38):
and a tone deaf hype machine that kept running long
after that the horse that they bet on lost the race,
and they've still been running these commercials because they bought them,
so they got to run them. That's it all right now. Secondly,
to the bus to the buzz, to the bus, to
the bus to the buzz. And I love this story
because it really pisses off the soccer hardos and I'm
(11:00):
getting some schodenfreude out of it. So the hydration breaks
in soccer, which became a thing at this World Cup,
a major talking point. And it's not new, right, they
added this a few years ago. We knew this was
going to happen, and it's happened in the past. It's
just like, why would you do it when you're in
a dome? Why would you do it when it's perfect?
(11:21):
Southern California weather for example. Well you do it because
of commercials. You do it because of commercial So FIFA's
mandatory hydration breaks during this ongoing it's not over yet.
FIFA World Cup have opened the door to some new
advertising opportunities all right, and mainly to change to change
chi chain in game commercials. As you have seen, it's
(11:44):
a three minute break roughly give or take three minutes
halfway through the first half and then halfway through the
second half. And that's it. Now for my entire life,
this did not happen. This was not a thing. That's
what you Americans do. We're better than you. Screw you,
we know better. We don't do that. Well, now they've
(12:07):
done it, they've crossed the rubicon. So the question, as
the debate rages on, will this continue to be a
thing of a jig in soccer? So where are these
hydration breaks in soccer headed? I'll tell you where they're headed.
They're headed straight to a vault of gold. Bouyon is
(12:28):
where they're headed. You can scream all you want about
the tradition, and I've gotten several emails. I really do
enjoy the feedback I've gotten from the soccer crowd. As
I've pointed out the soccer people complain to me that
I don't talk about football right, and then when I
do talk about football they complain that you're talking about
(12:51):
futbol wrong. I want you to know one of my
great radio buddies is a play by play announcer in
the MLS and we worked with this guy for several years,
the great Dave Denholm. And go back many years with
Dave and he's been the voice of that team for
many years. So I have a soccer insider there in
your face. Anyway, back to the point, So complain all
(13:12):
you want about tradition, this, that and the other thing.
The people that have won this story, the people that
are the winners here are the accountants, the bean counters
right revenue beach tradition every single time, and twice on Sunday.
And it doesn't matter what the online backlash is, what
the people stopping their feed on the war path, it
doesn't matter. It's all background noise. It's all elevator music,
(13:35):
that's all it is. And look, these hydration breaks, the
way I will describe them, I have the perfect analogy
for the hydration breaks, right, this is great. They are
like Asian carp in the Mississippi River. You hear that
notorious invasive species that I gotta get to the part
(13:55):
of the Mississippi where the Asian carp is. I want
to be on a boat and I want to turn
the motor on when these things are flying out of
the air at ten feet up in the sky, out
of the water because they're startled by the motor on
the boat. That's what I want.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I read that some of these I actually read about
these guys a while back because I was fascinated with
some videos I saw online. So some not all of them,
but some of those Asian carp they don't actually have
a true stomach, which means they have to eat all
the time because they don't store food and don't really
process it, so they have to just eat it all
the time. And they arrived to try to help the ecosystem,
(14:34):
and they've actually destroyed a lot of it, and they're
never going away, which kind of reminds you of the
hydration breaks. Right soon, these things will be in every
soccer league. Everyone the MLS has already pretty much said,
we're going to do it. The door's open. We're studying this.
The one that people say will not happen. Is the
English Premier League, which is the Granddaddy of soccer, that
(14:56):
Dad'll never do it, And I say fine, I say
fully to you, is what I say. They're gonna do it. Eventually,
they'll bite on the forbidden fruit. They're gonna do it.
You think that the people that run the Premier League
there are going to turn down hundreds of millions of dollars.
(15:18):
They might do it for a year or two and
if everyone else is doing it, they'll be well, everyone
else is doing it, and in order to keep costs low,
which is also a lie, we are going to have
hydration breaks when it's thirty five degrees or whatever that
would be with the metric system over there anyway, So
that's gonna happen. Nobody passes up that kind of revenue.
(15:42):
You'd have to be diabolical to pass up that kind
of revenue. It's easy money. Fox, which is broadcasting this
World Cup, has supposedly made the two hundred and fifty
million dollars just from the hydration break ads alone. And
they're not medical timeouts. They're not really worried about players
health at all. They're like pop up ads on your phone.
(16:05):
Or your computer, and they're here forever, much like the
Asian carp. They're not going anywhere, So get ready for
it all right now. Final thought, I thought this was amusing,
and it involves television and the presentation of the World Cup,
which has been ongoing here for the last pretty much
last month or so. So social media up in arms as
(16:28):
it was revealed the governing body of the World Cup,
the people in charge of the production of the World
Cup and keeping on. This is a weird setup because
even though Fox is doing the games on TV, they
are a conduit that has to follow certain guidelines by FIFA.
And we are told that FIFA has mandated the people
(16:51):
that do the broadcast in this case Fox and the
other partners around the world, that they have like a
shell company from what I read, that does the actual
production of the broadcast, and they are mandated to air
what they call dignitary shots high profile, high profile attendees
during each half of the World Cup match. And they
(17:15):
call them v ips. They call them very very important people.
That's not VIP, that's vv IP, very very important people,
much more important than you and me. We're just the
great unwashed. These are very important people. On a pedestal
in society is what they are. So anyway, they must
(17:37):
include these camera shots during the broadcast. We're talking about
heads of state, people that run FIFA, celebrities, all that,
members of political groups, you name it, they're there now.
FIFA swears it would be misleading to say that it
(17:58):
was directing specific wink wink, nod, nod. However, it does appear,
based on some basic research that Gianni Infantino, the guy
that's that bald guy that looks like a villain in
every old Hollywood movie, that that guy has been broadcast
on every World Cup game he's attended since he took over.
(18:21):
So all right, question people are freaking out about this
is not rise. Is this mandatory? We'll call it FIFA
ego stroking with what they're calling the dignitary shots on
the TV broadcast during the World Cup. A big deal,
a little deal, or no deal. So my scorecard reads,
(18:46):
and my scorecard is the scorecard record, and that's all
that matters. My scorecard reads a monumental no deal, monumental
no deal. Okay, welcome to Mother Earth. Okay, this is
a big, family sized bowl of sop. Now what is
(19:07):
that stave for standard operating procedure. Okay, every single sports
league does this, every single one. Let me ask a question.
Have you ever watched a New England Patriot broadcast without
being treated to a live shot of ancient owner Robert
Kraft staring blankly out into the Abyss from his glass tower,
(19:32):
over the peons below him, the hoy POLOI can't do it.
Can you even watch an NBA Finals broadcast without the
camera cutting to the visiting martian man Adam Silver? Cannot
do it now. Years ago, I had a season television
executive when I was doing some TV work who told me.
He said, Ben, there's no such thing as reality TV.
(19:55):
There's no such thing as a surprise shot on a
sports broadcast. Everything has been planned out. Absolutely nothing, Absolutely
nothing on television happens organically. It just doesn't. And so
sorry to burst your bubble if your naive the naive
(20:17):
masses here, I just got to tell you the truth.
You know, it's all carefully curated. It's all an illusion.
It's all illusion. And even those spontaneous crowd shots. I
saw something the other day that kind of shocked me.
I guess I shouldn't be shocked considering how cynical, I am.
(20:38):
You know how there's been tons of shots of hot
chicks at the World Cup, like really beautiful women from
Brazil and other countries. Well, apparently they're not amateur fans
that just bought those tickets. Apparently these hot twenty something
chicks didn't just buy World Cup tickets to sit in
the front row and the whispers. Is it true that
(20:59):
these young ladies actually have agents and they have media
contracts designed to organically transform them into influencers. They'll go viral,
Like this woman's hot enough, we're gonna put her on TV,
and she's gonna shake when her mama gave her and
all of a sudden, she's gonna become a viral star
(21:20):
and she's gonna pick up tons of followers and all
that get them in the augorhythm, as the kids says,
So the whole thing is a lot of skullduggery, cleverly
disguised pretending to be like a reality show and all that.
And FIFA's just running the exact same, unoriginal playbook that
all the sports leagues here in America. Do I know,
(21:42):
it's shocking, I know, I know. Try to stay come,
try to stay composed.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
It is the.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Ben Mallor Show. If you would like to be part,
you can join us. We at Jordan Walker win the
home run derby in Philadelphia dramatic fashion, as there were
thousands of Philadelphia Philly fans who are ready to celebrate.
And then he said, f you go walk in traffic. Kids,
get out of here. As Jordan Walker the Redbirds a
dramatic come from behind win there. He had the chains going,
(22:10):
he was ready to go there his styling and profile
and had the hat backwards, was chewing gum. His dad
was there the whole thing. Proud Papa, good mummenterre at
the home run derby. We will take your calls. Eight seven,
seven ninety nine on Fox. Also on ex at Ben Mahler.
That's at Ben Mahler if you'd like to be part
of the live program. Time now for the Mallar Riddle
(22:31):
of the Day, and also later this hour Mallard's a
mount of money. But here is the riddle of the day.
The San Francisco Giants. I am told that's a baseball team,
not a good one. The Giants recently celebrated Nickelodeon Day
with a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank that
went viral again. The Giants recently celebrated Nickelodeon Day with
(22:54):
a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank, which went viral.
That is the riddle of the day. The answer, We'll
get to it and we will do it next.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller.
Would mean a lot to have you join us on
our weekly auditory journey. You're asking what in God's name
is the Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a spin
off of The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights
on FSR. Why should you listen? Picture if you will
a world will. We chat with captains of industry in media, sports,
and more every week explore some amazing facts about human
(23:42):
nature and more. Listen to The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you
get your podcast.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
The pay That's all lostlitoff kids style stuff can that efflicated.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Stands to see them going to set them down, and
the man send theft pays all boss kettle saws.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Man.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I feel the same. It's like the hundenough staff. Stop
you trying to get that next smell, the next way anything,
because it's.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Just that fraid.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I don't say you got a prop though positive.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
The day in the nation's systee is nothing but coming
up the money, the misery, profit stamp duck sending these
kids the name of the game.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
But we called so.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Big it's big reckon Lapels only got it my phone
seven sock about six last morning. He does give me
GISs what the public does?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Bag the girl?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
What's the big?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
So she filled the drugs and one night off a
crack open door session lake get the suites off.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
A black coming so spec a new thought occurred that
first concern.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
He not slur, but I guess that snow was pure,
just like when a day that is great and cold,
son came up, when a broken soul and they all
hope came.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Man, it is the bell the Mallord show as we
roll on stuff because I Bill Miller a reminder coming
up a couple days away. Mallard paloojah all night you'll
get Mallard monologues and everything else of use acts and
that's what we got. Yeah, I know, pretty crazy, pretty
pretty crazy. So we'll have that coming up a couple
(25:08):
of days. In the meantime we're doing the live show.
We'll get the Mallard Riddle of the Day. We'll pull
the answer out on that coming up in a moment
and you can call in at eight seven, seven ninety
nine on Fox. I need a contestant or two for
Mallard's Mountain of Money that'll be coming up in a
little bit. We look forward to that. Mallard's a mountain money.
It's not that far away. So check that out on
(25:29):
X at Ben Mallard. That's at Ben Mallard and Salo
to Larina FSR Tech Queen high Down. We're talking and
Kooble Loop a Bronco fan. That's a Bronco fan. Your
comments can and we'll be used against you in the
court of the Mallard Militia, the kangaroo court. So please
(25:51):
act the court of the All right, back to what
we go and the Riddle of the day, the mall
Riddle of the Day. Here it is the San Francisco Giants.
That's a baseball team not a good one. Recently celebrated
Nickelodeon Day with a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank,
which went viral. That is the question, What is the answer? Femi,
(26:14):
the top uber eat driver in Minnesota, says a cameo
appearance by JJ McCarthy Milkman Mike in Colorado. Very talented musician,
Milkman Mike. Is he going to be in the mallar palooza?
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I don't know. A crabby patty ballgag guessed by Milkman Mike.
I didn't know they made those. Where do you buy yours?
Milkman Mike? King Rory going with a ferg dog throwing
out the first pitch, Good old ferg Dog on the mound,
Good old Curly Alf The Alien Opiner says they celebrated
by giving all of their Slumpbuster fans the crabs. Wow, okay,
(26:52):
San Francisco's tenderloin Oyster night from malarprop guy, Yeah, all right,
late night drug. He says they gave away chum buckets.
I see what you did there? Who else do we have?
Page down? Sir smokes a Lot says they were giving
out the Krabby Patty secret formula poutine blankety blank from
Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. What else we have? Krabby patties
(27:16):
from Donkey Sausage as well. Timmy in Busco, Indiana said
a Patrick star onesie for all fans, the fans that
show up there. Walker from New Hampshire said, also the
secret formula for the Krabby Patty. What else we have?
Barry Bonds, Gerbil from Johnny Q, foot long sandwiches from
Filler Up, Phil Sandy helmets from Mike the Leprechaun. That's
(27:41):
his answer. What else we have this? See page down?
All right, do you have an answer? Lorraine?
Speaker 5 (27:49):
Yeah, I think they celebrated with microwaved.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Steaks, just like weed Man hippie we learned last hour.
Microwave says, no, that's incorrect. The San Francisco Giants recently
celebrated Nickelodeon that day at the ballpark with a bunch
of SpongeBob SquarePants motions, including slime fries, which went viral.
And I believe from what I read these were I
(28:12):
didn't have them. If you were at the game, call
up listen to what they were. But I think they
were fries. Covered in neon green cheese. Yeah, yeah, a neon.
I think that's what they were. So I did that.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Sounds awesome though, I would totally try it just to
eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Say you did it? Did you you had it? And
we went to the Red Sox game. Didn't you have
the poutine?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
No, you didn't have I did not have the lobster poutine.
We didn't go to the stand that had that.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Why did you not do that?
Speaker 4 (28:35):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
We just went to the one that was right outside
where we're sitting. We didn't really go on an adventure.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Oh you got to go on an adventure.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Well you got to the leprech Yeah maybe not.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
That means we have to go back to Boston to
have the poutine. Well you can have it. I'm not
having it, the lobster poutine.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
I want to eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
We gotta go back. You only the other one time.
You gotta go back and have it again.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Do you remember when Heinees ketchup used to have like
purple and blue and green ketchups.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yes, yeah I do.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
That's what that reminds me of.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah. Well, you can die anything, right if you want
have food.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Die food coloring is good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, you know, well, this's great. That's why I think
it's all banned. Well, everything's banned in California. All right,
let's go to the phones, and we do have Maus
mounted Money coming up in a couple of minutes. I
need you contest. At eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox,
Lucky Tony is cashing a golden ticket, so he goes
to the top of the line. Hello, Lucky Tony.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Golts I go.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
There's a guy, David Vess.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
He wears knee pads to the baseball game. Hey Vessa,
I'll tell you one thing. You look like my dingle
linger ling.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Oh my dingle all right, all right, everybody, all right.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Thank you. There you go.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
That's a hostess treat, right, Ben.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yes, it's a spin off of the ding Dong the
dinga wing. Uh. That's exactly what that meant.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I know.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
The artistic ability of Lucky Tony one of the great
creative callers we have. How lucky are we to have
that man?
Speaker 5 (30:02):
Honestly, the musical talent is wild.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I'm impressed a lot of people, a lot of dudes
have moved on from porn because it's all free on
the internet now, like you know, only fans or whatever,
or not only fans, but like you know, it's just
free to women love to show their beautiful Lucky Tony, though,
still supports the adult industry, and I love that that
he's very involved in the old school adult entertainment business.
A two percent chance is in Alabama? Hello, two percent chance? Welcome.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Let me clear my throat here before I get started.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
All right, Uh, we hit that cough button right there.
You got a lot of Would you like a lozenge?
Would you like some garlic? What would you like?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I would like redemption.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
I would like to be sworn into the militia.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (30:47):
He failed real pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Last time you did it, it didn't go so well twice.
If you fail again, it's much like the DMV. You're
gonna have to wait a couple of months to take
the test again. All right, you understand that, call me launch?
How about one month? You have to wait at least
one month if you do not pass? How about that? Okay, okay,
(31:09):
you feel like you're ready to do this here, you're prepared,
all right, So this goes well. You got to play
this for your kids. If it doesn't go well, we'll
just pretend it didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
This is a big moment here. You excited, Lorraine. We're
gonna swear in another member of the Mallard Militia.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
I am so ready.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
This weekend in honor of the late great Skeeter in Montana,
we have a thing he came up with. My man
Skeeter used to call up all the time. He's on
the other side listening across the pearlegates. You're sitting right
next to Jeanie and Medford and all the boys that
have moved on have checked out, used to listen to
the show. They all listen still all the best. Thank you, Skeeter.
(31:50):
I appreciate that very kind of you.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Before I go, can you just tell me just read
the last sentence of the thing real quick. That's the
only thing I get confused on.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Well, we got to do it from me the bye
laws of the malleor oath. You have to read it
from beginning to end. Don't worry about it, don't stress
out about you got this. It's in the back. It's
in the bag. Two percent chance do you understand that
I got it? It's one of the great nicknames. Two
percent Chance, here we go. I state your name, I Chance,
(32:21):
do solemnly swear, do solemnly swear that I will support
and defend.
Speaker 6 (32:28):
That I will support and defend the Ben Malor Show,
the Ben Noward Show, against all enemies, against all enemies,
foreign and domestic.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Foreign and domestic, And that I will obey, and that.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I will obey the orders, the orders to peacefully fight back,
to peacefully fight back against hostile attacks, against cost from
rival sports gas bags and blowhards from sports gas bags
and blowhards. So help me, God, So help me God. Congratulations,
(33:12):
supercent Chance, you are the newest member of the Malor Militia.
You have been sworn in. Helllllujah, helllllujah. Now listen. We
are a peaceful organization. We do not want to turn
to violence, but so many trash is my good name.
We do go to cyber warfare if we have to.
(33:33):
We fight back against cyber bullies that dares sully the name.
We've been in epic battles with William Shatner and who
is that porn star that got upset with me? Coop?
What was her name again? Then one saying Lisa and
the porn star we fought with her and many other
legends and domacn sue I'm gonna fight with a Blake Snell.
It's not the kind of fight I was hoping to
get into it the pornstow but nonetheless, Uh hell anyway, Well,
(33:57):
congratulations Chance. This is life a moment. Okay?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Do you understand I'm so grateful I'm rather than having children.
This is right up there with the best moments of
my life.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Well as it should be, as it should be? All right, Well,
thank you Chance, be well a great two percent. Chance.
Let's welcome our contestants. We have Tyler in Boston. Who's
gonna play mallards amount of money?
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Tyler? What's going on? Benny there? He is my man, Tyler.
You're gonna be one of our guys. Who would you
like to partner up with? Tyler? Unfortunately, I ain't gonna
go with Coop because I do enjoy trying to be Yes,
why are you so happy, Coop? Why would you be?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I like Tyler?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Uh huh okay, all right, I feel like there's other
other ulterior motives that you might have. Mike in Tucson. Hello,
Mikey in Tucson Barbecue. Mikey let's go a bet. I
remember when I got sworn into the Malard oath.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
I'll never forget that night.
Speaker 6 (34:56):
That's not in my life.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
It's a big moment in men's lives, it really does.
You're laughing. This is a big deal for these people.
You understand, this is a game change. Next night of
his life, Well, tonight's gonna be the worst not in
your life. You're gonna get your ass kicked. Hurry up.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
The Smaller's Mountain of Money, the Sam Neal edition. He
passed away on Monday at the age of seventy eight.
The categories are just out of reach, the Hunt for
Red October, Jurassic Park, and the twelve.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Tyler. Which category would you.
Speaker 6 (35:30):
Like for Red October?
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Okay, and Mike, what about you?
Speaker 5 (35:38):
I drafted Park?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
All right, all right, everyone, hold on there. We will
have Mallard's amount of money in his entirety. We'll get
to that, and we will do it next.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It is the Ben Malor Show and I Bill Miller reminder,
as we have the Mallar amount of Money coming up,
here in a moment. Don't forget about the iHeartRadio app.
If you ever find yourself not finding the show on
your local station or even sometimes on the satellite home
of the Ben Malor Show on Sirius XM. Sometimes we
get covered up, you can go to the iHeart Radio
(36:17):
app and here the show on the Fox Sports Radio
channel live all night every night. iHeartRadio app. Check that
out and hear the Ben Malor Show wherever you happen
to be at any point, streaming live and also home
of the Ben Malor Show podcast. And hopefully we'll have
all four hours up unlike yesterday, in a timely fashion.
And if that was not enough, we will have the
(36:39):
always popular fifth hour podcast. Check it out on the
iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Now, Malor's Mountain of Money? Do you have what it
takes to get to the top?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Probably not, Let's do it right to the game. Tyler
is in Boston and he is teamed up with Koop.
It's Malar's Mountain Money. This is what is this? A
Coop which edition? There with Sam Nils Sam beal addition,
alright he just passed recently. All right, here we go,
Cooper Loop. You're up first with Tyler, what's the category?
We have the hunt for Red October. All right, you're ready, Tyler,
(37:15):
what is this category? These athletes were born in October?
Forty five seconds on the clock. Let's begin Hall of Fame.
Quarterback for the Packers, War number four, the best wide
receiver of all time, Jerry Right, the longtime Boston Celtic.
He had to be wheeled off the court in a wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
Again.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yes, this guy is a slugger all star outfielder that
was on the Nationals, then the Padres.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
He's on the Mets now.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Yes, this guy is a quarterback out of Hawaii for
usc The commissioner mispronounced his name at the draft.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It could be any pass, all right.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
This guy is a long time Tampa Bay Ray They
just retired as number third baseman. Yes, this guy was
a center for the Lakers with.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Oh tough break for you, Oh tough all right, all right,
let's go, here we go. You ready to do his
mic and Tucson's completely hammered.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
These athletes you picked Jurassic Park. These athletes are practically
dinosaurs in their sport. Are you ready, Mike, Yes, all right?
Forty five seconds of the clock We're on our way
and go. He's a free agent. He just played for
the Lakers, famous for Cleveland and Miami. Yes, quarterback for
the Pittsburgh Steelers right now, known for his days Rogers. Yes. Uh,
(38:42):
pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. He announced he's going to
retire at the end of the in the year. Just yeah,
sad Saderville is your Claus all right. Pitcher for the
Toronto Blue Jays. He's got two different colored eyes. He
want a championship for the Nationals. Yes, tight end. He's
(39:04):
forty something, Yes, correct, tight end forty some first name
is like a high end automobile, a luxury car. He's bounced.
You got one hundred, you got one hundred? Hey, yeah,
you say you're back up?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Marseides Lewis, Carcedes Lewis, Mike, do you want just out
of reach or the twelve?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
All right? All right? These athletes all war number twelve Mike,
forty five seconds on the clock. We're on our way go.
The greatest quarterback of all time? Uh Ridge Dannon twelve? Yes,
all right, great answer, wonderful. MVP for the Orlando Magic Center.
He was on Dancing with the Stars, not Shack but
(39:50):
not fat. All right, shortstop for the New York Mets.
He's got a big contract. He stinks, No another one,
it stinks short stop. Oh yeah, the alcohol is kicking in,
all right. Quarterback center had a beard for the Lakers
in the eighties and the nineties. Smoked, smoked a lot
(40:11):
of cigarettes for the Lakers. European player, all right, angel picture,
all right, bloody, bloody debots Francisco Lindor. You didn't even
(40:31):
get Tom Brady. He didn't get Tom. How do you
not get to that's a felony. You committed a.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Felony until we call the one category win Tyler.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
That's how we do it. That's what we call Youku
putting a drunk on how dare you? How dare you?
All Right? I love you, Mike, but come on, man,
you killed me. I mean, geez chicks. The alcohol kicked in.
You notice that the first round he was fine. All
of a sudden the boots kicked in.
Speaker 5 (40:59):
Have another?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Oh my god, no,
Here we go, Geronimo, Here we go Geronimo, and believe
it or not, the rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate
bonus Mallard monologue about the World Cup. Now, this Christian
polistic the star for Team USA turned out to be
a gigantic marketing flop. Where do you stand on this?
(00:23):
It's expected he will lose millions of dollars in endorsements
as Captain America did not live up to the hype. Also,
where are these hydration breaks in soccer headed as they
have debuted in recent years in the World Cup? And
is this mandatory FIFA ego stroking where they have mandatory
(00:43):
dignitary shots on the TV broadcast during the World Cup?
A big deal, a little deal or no deal. We'll
take a look at that and more. Right now, here
we go. It's our number three. It is not red
white and blue, It is red white and broke. What
(01:06):
welcome In the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Malor Show. We are in the air em reware, breaking
big wat rocks into small little rocks. As we do
it all night. We warm the bench, We absolutely warm
the bench. We try not to miss the mark. We
(01:27):
try not to miss the mark. Coast to coast, border
to border and beyond on the vast and muscularly powerful
microphones of FSR am monating live from the Derby the
audio home run derby Garanteed Human in the world famous
Fox Sports radio studios where magic happens, and Tom from
(01:54):
Fullerton reminds us this hour made possible in part by
our friends at tire Rack over forty years, so I've
told us a long time. For over forty years, tire
Rack has been helping people like no Stradinis find the
right tires for how, what and where they drive, ship
fast and free, backed by free road hazard protection with
(02:16):
convenient installation options like mobile tire installation tire rac dot com.
The way tire buying should be now out back John
and Joanna. They live out in the San Gabriel Valley
in La in Covina, and they both agree, and you
know couples do not normally agree on things, they both agree.
(02:37):
The top line in a commercial this year bend it
like Beckham, of course the spin on that is, build
it like Beckham. That's the spin So upgrade your FIFA
World Cup twenty twenty six set up, build it like Beckham.
See I said it for out back John and Joanna
from living room to lawn with the home Depot and
(02:59):
take the fast free delivery assists the Home Depot Official
FIFA World Cup twenty twenty six supporter, subject to availability
ferg Dog giving that the thumbs up, big thumbs up
on that. Stay com stay absolutely calm. It's okay. Now,
who's your Bill and Mark and Queens? They said, Ben,
can you give me a solid on that wee Bowl?
(03:20):
I said, yes I can. If Mark and Queens wants
a solid on the wee Bowl, we got you, all right,
We absolutely got you. And so here we go and
econ Roseville as well, rosewo Minnesota. We got your solid.
So it's time to get your financial portfolio game ready
with Wee Bowl. Get powerful investing tools and real time
data all in one platform. Get started by downloading the
(03:42):
Wee Bowl app today or visiting Wee Bowl dot com.
We Both Financial LLC member SIPC FINRA Investing of Ball's resk.
For more information, visit we Both dot com slash disclosures.
So a little while ago, I had made a bold
decree that we were done with full World Cup monologus.
(04:03):
This upset my guy Femi in Minnesota. He loves the
top Uber. Each driver there loves hot World Cup talk.
And so this is a dedication to the hard work
that Femi does traveling around the Twin Cities delivering hogis
and sandwiches and all the other things that people eat
(04:23):
as he's out and about there driving around Minnesota. So
our lead this hour is from the World Cup. Now
I have a mantra, you know my mantra here that
I always start with a blank canvas. And much like
my hero Bob Ross, I used to watch when I
would ditch school, and I ditched a lot of school,
and Bob Ross was always on TV. So I'd watch
the game shows they used to be on the morning,
(04:44):
and then when the game shows ended, they put these
things called soap operas on and I didn't watch those.
So then I had to go over to PBS and
they had Bob Ross painting a masterpiece. And so that's
my goal to do the Bob Ross thing. And so anyway,
a player named Christian Polisic. You might not know who
that is, you've certainly seen him on TV. Polisic, there's
(05:05):
a World Cup fiasco which is still playing out here.
These sports business people have been buzzing the level of
debacle that this has become. So if you have not
been listening to the chatter, perhaps not. In the week
after the US men's national team did a belly whopper
(05:26):
in the World Cup, it turns out that Christian Polisic
has remained a constant presence on the boob tube. He
has remained a World Cup pitchman, a robust collection of
endorsement deals. Now, Polisics, his pitchman portfolio is very deep,
(05:48):
very very deep. It includes huge brands like Puma, degree deodorant,
Hershey's chocolate. It's got a car dealership that he a
car maker, that he does commercials for a bunch of
other things as well. And it turns out we are
told that that massive portfolio of endorsements is in stranger danger.
(06:09):
There is risk here he brings in. This is shocking
to me because I had never heard of this guy
before the World Cup. I'dn noyed who he was. And
this dude's clearing twenty million dollars a year in endorsements somebody,
I have no idea who he is. I came out
of nowhere and they give him all these great nicknames.
I'm like Wow, that seems cool. It seemed like they
just made him up, Like it's like some fictional story
(06:32):
like this create some American the great hope of American soccer,
and he's been playing overseas and it's an interesting story.
I get it. Twenty million those seems like a lot,
a lot of money. Hey, it's good jumping off point.
Let us discuss the question, how do you stand on
the Christian polistic World Cup marketing flop? And oh what
(06:54):
a flop it has been. I've got Churchill Downs, Asian
carp and Family Bowl, and we will combine all of
these things together and we are going to have a
picnic of uncrustables and Dino nuggets. That's what we're gonna have.
I gonna have a child's diet. Why not. Now, first
of all, we are not wasting a single ounce, a
(07:18):
single ounce of sympathy for Madison Avenue, because that's really
who took this in the shorts, is Madison Avenue. Here,
this Christian polisic story, the World Cup marketing boondoggle, let's
call it, what is boon Doggle is the biggest sports
marketing flop since when I was much younger, and there
(07:39):
were these guys named Dan and Dave. Now, if you're
of a certain age, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Early nineties Olympics. Dan and Dave Reboch spent a amazing
amount of money buying commercials and ads. They used to
have these things called magazines and newspapers people used to
read before the Internweb, and they bought all the ad space.
(08:02):
Oh my god, everything was about Dan and Dave. And
then they got to the Olympics and they fell into
a pit of vipers. A trapdoor open up, opened up,
and Dan and Day fell down. It was not good.
So the corporate suits, they really manufactured a mythical superhero
version of Polisic that it turns out never actually existed.
(08:27):
Is that a hot take? Is that an accurate take?
Is that a bad take? So what they did is
in the cartoon bubble above my head, the people that
make decisions on advertising, they went to Churchill Downs and
they thought they were betting on a thoroughbread and they
got a Clydesdale. They got a Clydesdale plastering ads featuring
(08:51):
slogans like Captain America. I always thought Captain America had
a shield and all that stuff. And the Lebron James
of American Sucker. Yeah, okay, turns out that you cannot
photoshop a superstar to perform like a superstar. He lacked
(09:12):
the marketable charisma. What they should have done is the
James Harden of American Sucker. Now that would have worked
really well, or the Kawhi Leonard of American Sucker. Because
he's always hurt, always hurt. So don't let the mouth.
I learned this is a good Don't let your mouth
write checks the body cannot cash. So the Komodo dragon
(09:35):
in the room, the Komodo dragon in the room is
that Polisic flat out sucked at a time you cannot suck. Right.
And while the United States men's national team crashed and
burned in a brutal four to one embarrassment where the
defense collapse, the goaltender looked like he was playing on
(09:57):
a Saturday morning at the local park, waiting for orange
slices and a sun kissed juice box. It was a
disaster against Belgium and all that. This guy Polistic went
goldless and vanished in the injury tent for the World Cup.
That's what he did. He was good at getting hurt
and not making an impact. And so Madison Avenue, they
(10:18):
had all that greed going right, they were blinded not
by the light. They were blinded by the idea that
they could create this amazing lumber jack type figure Jack
and the beanstock type figure and how did that work
out well? And losing millions of dollars on this deal
(10:38):
and a tone deaf hype machine that kept running long
after that the horse that they bet on lost the race,
and they've still been running these commercials because they bought them,
so they got to run them. That's it all right now. Secondly,
to the bus to the buzz, to the bus, to
the bus to the buzz. And I love this story
because it really pisses off the soccer hardos and I'm
(11:00):
getting some schodenfreude out of it. So the hydration breaks
in soccer, which became a thing at this World Cup,
a major talking point. And it's not new, right, they
added this a few years ago. We knew this was
going to happen, and it's happened in the past. It's
just like, why would you do it when you're in
a dome? Why would you do it when it's perfect?
(11:21):
Southern California weather for example. Well you do it because
of commercials. You do it because of commercial So FIFA's
mandatory hydration breaks during this ongoing it's not over yet.
FIFA World Cup have opened the door to some new
advertising opportunities all right, and mainly to change to change
chi chain in game commercials. As you have seen, it's
(11:44):
a three minute break roughly give or take three minutes
halfway through the first half and then halfway through the
second half. And that's it. Now for my entire life,
this did not happen. This was not a thing. That's
what you Americans do. We're better than you. Screw you,
we know better. We don't do that. Well, now they've
(12:07):
done it, they've crossed the rubicon. So the question, as
the debate rages on, will this continue to be a
thing of a jig in soccer? So where are these
hydration breaks in soccer headed? I'll tell you where they're headed.
They're headed straight to a vault of gold. Bouyon is
(12:28):
where they're headed. You can scream all you want about
the tradition, and I've gotten several emails. I really do
enjoy the feedback I've gotten from the soccer crowd. As
I've pointed out the soccer people complain to me that
I don't talk about football right, and then when I
do talk about football they complain that you're talking about
(12:51):
futbol wrong. I want you to know one of my
great radio buddies is a play by play announcer in
the MLS and we worked with this guy for several years,
the great Dave Denholm. And go back many years with
Dave and he's been the voice of that team for
many years. So I have a soccer insider there in
your face. Anyway, back to the point, So complain all
(13:12):
you want about tradition, this, that and the other thing.
The people that have won this story, the people that
are the winners here are the accountants, the bean counters
right revenue beach tradition every single time, and twice on Sunday.
And it doesn't matter what the online backlash is, what
the people stopping their feed on the war path, it
doesn't matter. It's all background noise. It's all elevator music,
(13:35):
that's all it is. And look, these hydration breaks, the
way I will describe them, I have the perfect analogy
for the hydration breaks, right, this is great. They are
like Asian carp in the Mississippi River. You hear that
notorious invasive species that I gotta get to the part
(13:55):
of the Mississippi where the Asian carp is. I want
to be on a boat and I want to turn
the motor on when these things are flying out of
the air at ten feet up in the sky, out
of the water because they're startled by the motor on
the boat. That's what I want.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I read that some of these I actually read about
these guys a while back because I was fascinated with
some videos I saw online. So some not all of them,
but some of those Asian carp they don't actually have
a true stomach, which means they have to eat all
the time because they don't store food and don't really
process it, so they have to just eat it all
the time. And they arrived to try to help the ecosystem,
(14:34):
and they've actually destroyed a lot of it, and they're
never going away, which kind of reminds you of the
hydration breaks. Right soon, these things will be in every
soccer league. Everyone the MLS has already pretty much said,
we're going to do it. The door's open. We're studying this.
The one that people say will not happen. Is the
English Premier League, which is the Granddaddy of soccer, that
(14:56):
Dad'll never do it, And I say fine, I say
fully to you, is what I say. They're gonna do it. Eventually,
they'll bite on the forbidden fruit. They're gonna do it.
You think that the people that run the Premier League
there are going to turn down hundreds of millions of dollars.
(15:18):
They might do it for a year or two and
if everyone else is doing it, they'll be well, everyone
else is doing it, and in order to keep costs low,
which is also a lie, we are going to have
hydration breaks when it's thirty five degrees or whatever that
would be with the metric system over there anyway, So
that's gonna happen. Nobody passes up that kind of revenue.
(15:42):
You'd have to be diabolical to pass up that kind
of revenue. It's easy money. Fox, which is broadcasting this
World Cup, has supposedly made the two hundred and fifty
million dollars just from the hydration break ads alone. And
they're not medical timeouts. They're not really worried about players
health at all. They're like pop up ads on your phone.
(16:05):
Or your computer, and they're here forever, much like the
Asian carp. They're not going anywhere, So get ready for
it all right now. Final thought, I thought this was amusing,
and it involves television and the presentation of the World Cup,
which has been ongoing here for the last pretty much
last month or so. So social media up in arms as
(16:28):
it was revealed the governing body of the World Cup,
the people in charge of the production of the World
Cup and keeping on. This is a weird setup because
even though Fox is doing the games on TV, they
are a conduit that has to follow certain guidelines by FIFA.
And we are told that FIFA has mandated the people
(16:51):
that do the broadcast in this case Fox and the
other partners around the world, that they have like a
shell company from what I read, that does the actual
production of the broadcast, and they are mandated to air
what they call dignitary shots high profile, high profile attendees
during each half of the World Cup match. And they
(17:15):
call them v ips. They call them very very important people.
That's not VIP, that's vv IP, very very important people,
much more important than you and me. We're just the
great unwashed. These are very important people. On a pedestal
in society is what they are. So anyway, they must
(17:37):
include these camera shots during the broadcast. We're talking about
heads of state, people that run FIFA, celebrities, all that,
members of political groups, you name it, they're there now.
FIFA swears it would be misleading to say that it
(17:58):
was directing specific wink wink, nod, nod. However, it does appear,
based on some basic research that Gianni Infantino, the guy
that's that bald guy that looks like a villain in
every old Hollywood movie, that that guy has been broadcast
on every World Cup game he's attended since he took over.
(18:21):
So all right, question people are freaking out about this
is not rise. Is this mandatory? We'll call it FIFA
ego stroking with what they're calling the dignitary shots on
the TV broadcast during the World Cup. A big deal,
a little deal, or no deal. So my scorecard reads,
(18:46):
and my scorecard is the scorecard record, and that's all
that matters. My scorecard reads a monumental no deal, monumental
no deal. Okay, welcome to Mother Earth. Okay, this is
a big, family sized bowl of sop. Now what is
(19:07):
that stave for standard operating procedure. Okay, every single sports
league does this, every single one. Let me ask a question.
Have you ever watched a New England Patriot broadcast without
being treated to a live shot of ancient owner Robert
Kraft staring blankly out into the Abyss from his glass tower,
(19:32):
over the peons below him, the hoy POLOI can't do it.
Can you even watch an NBA Finals broadcast without the
camera cutting to the visiting martian man Adam Silver? Cannot
do it now. Years ago, I had a season television
executive when I was doing some TV work who told me.
He said, Ben, there's no such thing as reality TV.
(19:55):
There's no such thing as a surprise shot on a
sports broadcast. Everything has been planned out. Absolutely nothing, Absolutely
nothing on television happens organically. It just doesn't. And so
sorry to burst your bubble if your naive the naive
(20:17):
masses here, I just got to tell you the truth.
You know, it's all carefully curated. It's all an illusion.
It's all illusion. And even those spontaneous crowd shots. I
saw something the other day that kind of shocked me.
I guess I shouldn't be shocked considering how cynical, I am.
(20:38):
You know how there's been tons of shots of hot
chicks at the World Cup, like really beautiful women from
Brazil and other countries. Well, apparently they're not amateur fans
that just bought those tickets. Apparently these hot twenty something
chicks didn't just buy World Cup tickets to sit in
the front row and the whispers. Is it true that
(20:59):
these young ladies actually have agents and they have media
contracts designed to organically transform them into influencers. They'll go viral,
Like this woman's hot enough, we're gonna put her on TV,
and she's gonna shake when her mama gave her and
all of a sudden, she's gonna become a viral star
(21:20):
and she's gonna pick up tons of followers and all
that get them in the augorhythm, as the kids says,
So the whole thing is a lot of skullduggery, cleverly
disguised pretending to be like a reality show and all that.
And FIFA's just running the exact same, unoriginal playbook that
all the sports leagues here in America. Do I know,
(21:42):
it's shocking, I know, I know. Try to stay come,
try to stay composed.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
It is the.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Ben Mallor Show. If you would like to be part,
you can join us. We at Jordan Walker win the
home run derby in Philadelphia dramatic fashion, as there were
thousands of Philadelphia Philly fans who are ready to celebrate.
And then he said, f you go walk in traffic. Kids,
get out of here. As Jordan Walker the Redbirds a
dramatic come from behind win there. He had the chains going,
(22:10):
he was ready to go there his styling and profile
and had the hat backwards, was chewing gum. His dad
was there the whole thing. Proud Papa, good mummenterre at
the home run derby. We will take your calls. Eight seven,
seven ninety nine on Fox. Also on ex at Ben Mahler.
That's at Ben Mahler if you'd like to be part
of the live program. Time now for the Mallar Riddle
(22:31):
of the Day, and also later this hour Mallard's a
mount of money. But here is the riddle of the day.
The San Francisco Giants. I am told that's a baseball team,
not a good one. The Giants recently celebrated Nickelodeon Day
with a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank that
went viral again. The Giants recently celebrated Nickelodeon Day with
(22:54):
a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank, which went viral.
That is the riddle of the day. The answer, We'll
get to it and we will do it next.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller.
Would mean a lot to have you join us on
our weekly auditory journey. You're asking what in God's name
is the Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a spin
off of The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights
on FSR. Why should you listen? Picture if you will
a world will. We chat with captains of industry in media, sports,
and more every week explore some amazing facts about human
(23:42):
nature and more. Listen to The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you
get your podcast.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
The pay That's all lostlitoff kids style stuff can that efflicated.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Stands to see them going to set them down, and
the man send theft pays all boss kettle saws.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Man.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I feel the same. It's like the hundenough staff. Stop
you trying to get that next smell, the next way anything,
because it's.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Just that fraid.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I don't say you got a prop though positive.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
The day in the nation's systee is nothing but coming
up the money, the misery, profit stamp duck sending these
kids the name of the game.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
But we called so.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Big it's big reckon Lapels only got it my phone
seven sock about six last morning. He does give me
GISs what the public does?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Bag the girl?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
What's the big?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
So she filled the drugs and one night off a
crack open door session lake get the suites off.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
A black coming so spec a new thought occurred that
first concern.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
He not slur, but I guess that snow was pure,
just like when a day that is great and cold,
son came up, when a broken soul and they all
hope came.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Man, it is the bell the Mallord show as we
roll on stuff because I Bill Miller a reminder coming
up a couple days away. Mallard paloojah all night you'll
get Mallard monologues and everything else of use acts and
that's what we got. Yeah, I know, pretty crazy, pretty
pretty crazy. So we'll have that coming up a couple
(25:08):
of days. In the meantime we're doing the live show.
We'll get the Mallard Riddle of the Day. We'll pull
the answer out on that coming up in a moment
and you can call in at eight seven, seven ninety
nine on Fox. I need a contestant or two for
Mallard's Mountain of Money that'll be coming up in a
little bit. We look forward to that. Mallard's a mountain money.
It's not that far away. So check that out on
(25:29):
X at Ben Mallard. That's at Ben Mallard and Salo
to Larina FSR Tech Queen high Down. We're talking and
Kooble Loop a Bronco fan. That's a Bronco fan. Your
comments can and we'll be used against you in the
court of the Mallard Militia, the kangaroo court. So please
(25:51):
act the court of the All right, back to what
we go and the Riddle of the day, the mall
Riddle of the Day. Here it is the San Francisco Giants.
That's a baseball team not a good one. Recently celebrated
Nickelodeon Day with a bunch of SpongeBob SquarePants promotions, including blank,
which went viral. That is the question, What is the answer? Femi,
(26:14):
the top uber eat driver in Minnesota, says a cameo
appearance by JJ McCarthy Milkman Mike in Colorado. Very talented musician,
Milkman Mike. Is he going to be in the mallar palooza?
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I don't know. A crabby patty ballgag guessed by Milkman Mike.
I didn't know they made those. Where do you buy yours?
Milkman Mike? King Rory going with a ferg dog throwing
out the first pitch, Good old ferg Dog on the mound,
Good old Curly Alf The Alien Opiner says they celebrated
by giving all of their Slumpbuster fans the crabs. Wow, okay,
(26:52):
San Francisco's tenderloin Oyster night from malarprop guy, Yeah, all right,
late night drug. He says they gave away chum buckets.
I see what you did there? Who else do we have?
Page down? Sir smokes a Lot says they were giving
out the Krabby Patty secret formula poutine blankety blank from
Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. What else we have? Krabby patties
(27:16):
from Donkey Sausage as well. Timmy in Busco, Indiana said
a Patrick star onesie for all fans, the fans that
show up there. Walker from New Hampshire said, also the
secret formula for the Krabby Patty. What else we have?
Barry Bonds, Gerbil from Johnny Q, foot long sandwiches from
Filler Up, Phil Sandy helmets from Mike the Leprechaun. That's
(27:41):
his answer. What else we have this? See page down?
All right, do you have an answer? Lorraine?
Speaker 5 (27:49):
Yeah, I think they celebrated with microwaved.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Steaks, just like weed Man hippie we learned last hour.
Microwave says, no, that's incorrect. The San Francisco Giants recently
celebrated Nickelodeon that day at the ballpark with a bunch
of SpongeBob SquarePants motions, including slime fries, which went viral.
And I believe from what I read these were I
(28:12):
didn't have them. If you were at the game, call
up listen to what they were. But I think they
were fries. Covered in neon green cheese. Yeah, yeah, a neon.
I think that's what they were. So I did that.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Sounds awesome though, I would totally try it just to
eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Say you did it? Did you you had it? And
we went to the Red Sox game. Didn't you have
the poutine?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
No, you didn't have I did not have the lobster poutine.
We didn't go to the stand that had that.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Why did you not do that?
Speaker 4 (28:35):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
We just went to the one that was right outside
where we're sitting. We didn't really go on an adventure.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Oh you got to go on an adventure.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Well you got to the leprech Yeah maybe not.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
That means we have to go back to Boston to
have the poutine. Well you can have it. I'm not
having it, the lobster poutine.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
I want to eat it.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
We gotta go back. You only the other one time.
You gotta go back and have it again.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Do you remember when Heinees ketchup used to have like
purple and blue and green ketchups.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yes, yeah I do.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
That's what that reminds me of.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah. Well, you can die anything, right if you want
have food.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Die food coloring is good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, you know, well, this's great. That's why I think
it's all banned. Well, everything's banned in California. All right,
let's go to the phones, and we do have Maus
mounted Money coming up in a couple of minutes. I
need you contest. At eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox,
Lucky Tony is cashing a golden ticket, so he goes
to the top of the line. Hello, Lucky Tony.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Golts I go.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
There's a guy, David Vess.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
He wears knee pads to the baseball game. Hey Vessa,
I'll tell you one thing. You look like my dingle
linger ling.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Oh my dingle all right, all right, everybody, all right.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Thank you. There you go.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
That's a hostess treat, right, Ben.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Yes, it's a spin off of the ding Dong the
dinga wing. Uh. That's exactly what that meant.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I know.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
The artistic ability of Lucky Tony one of the great
creative callers we have. How lucky are we to have
that man?
Speaker 5 (30:02):
Honestly, the musical talent is wild.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I'm impressed a lot of people, a lot of dudes
have moved on from porn because it's all free on
the internet now, like you know, only fans or whatever,
or not only fans, but like you know, it's just
free to women love to show their beautiful Lucky Tony, though,
still supports the adult industry, and I love that that
he's very involved in the old school adult entertainment business.
A two percent chance is in Alabama? Hello, two percent chance? Welcome.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Let me clear my throat here before I get started.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
All right, Uh, we hit that cough button right there.
You got a lot of Would you like a lozenge?
Would you like some garlic? What would you like?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I would like redemption.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
I would like to be sworn into the militia.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (30:47):
He failed real pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Last time you did it, it didn't go so well twice.
If you fail again, it's much like the DMV. You're
gonna have to wait a couple of months to take
the test again. All right, you understand that, call me launch?
How about one month? You have to wait at least
one month if you do not pass? How about that? Okay, okay,
(31:09):
you feel like you're ready to do this here, you're prepared,
all right, So this goes well. You got to play
this for your kids. If it doesn't go well, we'll
just pretend it didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
This is a big moment here. You excited, Lorraine. We're
gonna swear in another member of the Mallard Militia.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
I am so ready.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
This weekend in honor of the late great Skeeter in Montana,
we have a thing he came up with. My man
Skeeter used to call up all the time. He's on
the other side listening across the pearlegates. You're sitting right
next to Jeanie and Medford and all the boys that
have moved on have checked out, used to listen to
the show. They all listen still all the best. Thank you, Skeeter.
(31:50):
I appreciate that very kind of you.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Before I go, can you just tell me just read
the last sentence of the thing real quick. That's the
only thing I get confused on.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Well, we got to do it from me the bye
laws of the malleor oath. You have to read it
from beginning to end. Don't worry about it, don't stress
out about you got this. It's in the back. It's
in the bag. Two percent chance do you understand that
I got it? It's one of the great nicknames. Two
percent Chance, here we go. I state your name, I Chance,
(32:21):
do solemnly swear, do solemnly swear that I will support
and defend.
Speaker 6 (32:28):
That I will support and defend the Ben Malor Show,
the Ben Noward Show, against all enemies, against all enemies,
foreign and domestic.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Foreign and domestic, And that I will obey, and that.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I will obey the orders, the orders to peacefully fight back,
to peacefully fight back against hostile attacks, against cost from
rival sports gas bags and blowhards from sports gas bags
and blowhards. So help me, God, So help me God. Congratulations,
(33:12):
supercent Chance, you are the newest member of the Malor Militia.
You have been sworn in. Helllllujah, helllllujah. Now listen. We
are a peaceful organization. We do not want to turn
to violence, but so many trash is my good name.
We do go to cyber warfare if we have to.
(33:33):
We fight back against cyber bullies that dares sully the name.
We've been in epic battles with William Shatner and who
is that porn star that got upset with me? Coop?
What was her name again? Then one saying Lisa and
the porn star we fought with her and many other
legends and domacn sue I'm gonna fight with a Blake Snell.
It's not the kind of fight I was hoping to
get into it the pornstow but nonetheless, Uh hell anyway, Well,
(33:57):
congratulations Chance. This is life a moment. Okay?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Do you understand I'm so grateful I'm rather than having children.
This is right up there with the best moments of
my life.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Well as it should be, as it should be? All right, Well,
thank you Chance, be well a great two percent. Chance.
Let's welcome our contestants. We have Tyler in Boston. Who's
gonna play mallards amount of money?
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Tyler? What's going on? Benny there? He is my man, Tyler.
You're gonna be one of our guys. Who would you
like to partner up with? Tyler? Unfortunately, I ain't gonna
go with Coop because I do enjoy trying to be Yes,
why are you so happy, Coop? Why would you be?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I like Tyler?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Uh huh okay, all right, I feel like there's other
other ulterior motives that you might have. Mike in Tucson. Hello,
Mikey in Tucson Barbecue. Mikey let's go a bet. I
remember when I got sworn into the Malard oath.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
I'll never forget that night.
Speaker 6 (34:56):
That's not in my life.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
It's a big moment in men's lives, it really does.
You're laughing. This is a big deal for these people.
You understand, this is a game change. Next night of
his life, Well, tonight's gonna be the worst not in
your life. You're gonna get your ass kicked. Hurry up.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
The Smaller's Mountain of Money, the Sam Neal edition. He
passed away on Monday at the age of seventy eight.
The categories are just out of reach, the Hunt for
Red October, Jurassic Park, and the twelve.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Tyler. Which category would you.
Speaker 6 (35:30):
Like for Red October?
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Okay, and Mike, what about you?
Speaker 5 (35:38):
I drafted Park?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
All right, all right, everyone, hold on there. We will
have Mallard's amount of money in his entirety. We'll get
to that, and we will do it next.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It is the Ben Malor Show and I Bill Miller reminder,
as we have the Mallar amount of Money coming up,
here in a moment. Don't forget about the iHeartRadio app.
If you ever find yourself not finding the show on
your local station or even sometimes on the satellite home
of the Ben Malor Show on Sirius XM. Sometimes we
get covered up, you can go to the iHeart Radio
(36:17):
app and here the show on the Fox Sports Radio
channel live all night every night. iHeartRadio app. Check that
out and hear the Ben Malor Show wherever you happen
to be at any point, streaming live and also home
of the Ben Malor Show podcast. And hopefully we'll have
all four hours up unlike yesterday, in a timely fashion.
And if that was not enough, we will have the
(36:39):
always popular fifth hour podcast. Check it out on the
iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Now, Malor's Mountain of Money? Do you have what it
takes to get to the top?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Probably not, Let's do it right to the game. Tyler
is in Boston and he is teamed up with Koop.
It's Malar's Mountain Money. This is what is this? A
Coop which edition? There with Sam Nils Sam beal addition,
alright he just passed recently. All right, here we go,
Cooper Loop. You're up first with Tyler, what's the category?
We have the hunt for Red October. All right, you're ready, Tyler,
(37:15):
what is this category? These athletes were born in October?
Forty five seconds on the clock. Let's begin Hall of Fame.
Quarterback for the Packers, War number four, the best wide
receiver of all time, Jerry Right, the longtime Boston Celtic.
He had to be wheeled off the court in a wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
Again.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yes, this guy is a slugger all star outfielder that
was on the Nationals, then the Padres.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
He's on the Mets now.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Yes, this guy is a quarterback out of Hawaii for
usc The commissioner mispronounced his name at the draft.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It could be any pass, all right.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
This guy is a long time Tampa Bay Ray They
just retired as number third baseman. Yes, this guy was
a center for the Lakers with.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Oh tough break for you, Oh tough all right, all right,
let's go, here we go. You ready to do his
mic and Tucson's completely hammered.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
These athletes you picked Jurassic Park. These athletes are practically
dinosaurs in their sport. Are you ready, Mike, Yes, all right?
Forty five seconds of the clock We're on our way
and go. He's a free agent. He just played for
the Lakers, famous for Cleveland and Miami. Yes, quarterback for
the Pittsburgh Steelers right now, known for his days Rogers. Yes. Uh,
(38:42):
pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. He announced he's going to
retire at the end of the in the year. Just yeah,
sad Saderville is your Claus all right. Pitcher for the
Toronto Blue Jays. He's got two different colored eyes. He
want a championship for the Nationals. Yes, tight end. He's
(39:04):
forty something, Yes, correct, tight end forty some first name
is like a high end automobile, a luxury car. He's bounced.
You got one hundred, you got one hundred? Hey, yeah,
you say you're back up?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Marseides Lewis, Carcedes Lewis, Mike, do you want just out
of reach or the twelve?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
All right? All right? These athletes all war number twelve Mike,
forty five seconds on the clock. We're on our way go.
The greatest quarterback of all time? Uh Ridge Dannon twelve? Yes,
all right, great answer, wonderful. MVP for the Orlando Magic Center.
He was on Dancing with the Stars, not Shack but
(39:50):
not fat. All right, shortstop for the New York Mets.
He's got a big contract. He stinks, No another one,
it stinks short stop. Oh yeah, the alcohol is kicking in,
all right. Quarterback center had a beard for the Lakers
in the eighties and the nineties. Smoked, smoked a lot
(40:11):
of cigarettes for the Lakers. European player, all right, angel picture,
all right, bloody, bloody debots Francisco Lindor. You didn't even
(40:31):
get Tom Brady. He didn't get Tom. How do you
not get to that's a felony. You committed a.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Felony until we call the one category win Tyler.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
That's how we do it. That's what we call Youku
putting a drunk on how dare you? How dare you?
All Right? I love you, Mike, but come on, man,
you killed me. I mean, geez chicks. The alcohol kicked in.
You notice that the first round he was fine. All
of a sudden the boots kicked in.
Speaker 5 (40:59):
Have another?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Oh my god, no,
Host
Ben Maller
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