July 16, 2026 • 40 mins
Ben Maller talks about Alvin Kamara's decision to rework his contract and stay with the Saints, Florida State coach Mike Norvell saying he's not concerned about being on the hot seat, Sophie Cunningham complaining she doesn't make enough to retire, and more Mallerpalooza!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
aUI, cauz aUI. It's our number three, Our number three.
The Saints go marching in. We got the Mallard Plus
at twenty twenty sixth the comedy the songs continue. But
here in our number three, how do we classify Alvin
Camara's decision to rework his contract and stay with the
(00:21):
Saints in the Bayou. We'll talk about that. Also in
college football, despite Florida State coach Mike Norvel saying he's
not concerned about his status with the Seminoles, what is
your verdict on that? And as well, we'll say it,
should we start a go fund me? Should we start
a go fundme for Sophie Cunningham and her fellow WNBA
(00:45):
player She complained she's not making enough to retire at
age twenty nine. What a sob story that is. We'll
talk about all that. The Malor Plus at twenty twenty
six continues, big name acts, You're only gonna get here.
It's the greatest night for entertainment. It's the Variety Show
and it's yours right now. The Malard Palooza and the
Ben Mallard monologues. Here in our number three, staying in
(01:13):
the Bayou, Well, come. In the beginning of another hour
of the Ben Mahlor Show. We are in the air
ev rewares we shoot the crap and boy do we
do that? And try not to bite our tongues. It's
a big night here coast to coast, border to border
(01:35):
and beyond on the mast and appetizingly powerful microphones of
fsre emminating from the ball the human cannon Ball of
the Mallard Palooza twenty twenty six. Guaranteed human from the
world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios were Mikey in Tucson.
(01:57):
Don't you know? Reminds us that this hour made possible
in part by our friends at tire Rack. Yes, tire Rack,
can you believe that it's unbelievable. For over forty years,
tire Rack has been helping customers like convincing m find
the right tires for how, what and where they drive,
ship fast and free back by free road hazard protection
(02:19):
with convenient installation options. Yeah, very important, like mobile tire
installation tire rack dot com. The way that tire buying
should be should be. But the wait, there's think we're done. No,
we're not done. But wait, there's more, said the man
(02:40):
with the microphone said wait, there's more.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
In fact, believe it or not, Believe it or not,
Home Depot. The good people over there at Home Depot
want you to know. And this Neil and fall rivers.
So let the people know, I said, I will kneel,
I'll let them know. Upgrade your FIFA World Cup twenty
twenty six. Set up, build it like Beckham from living
room to lawn with the Home Depot and take the
fast free delivery. Assist Home Depot Official FIFA World Cup
(03:04):
twenty twenty six supporters subject to availability. And that is excitement,
not as exciting, not as exciting as this because the man,
the myth, the legend. Jay Dot podcast Jade Dot in
Utah said, Ben, what about the TV thing? Well, jay Dot,
it's not just a TV thing. It's Fox one. The
(03:25):
excitement of the FIFA World Cup is now streaming live
on Fox one, the official English streaming platform. To catch
every unforgettable moment. Fox one brings the action straight to
your screen, so you never miss a goal or an
epic choke job by England. Download Fox one and experience
the FIFA World Cup live. The Malat Paluza will continue
(03:46):
in a few minutes. We've got big names, act big
names lined up here. So let's get to the mal
monologue our lead this hour from now Orleans, where the
Saints are finalizing a new contract with Alvin Kamara, and
that ends a lot of spec we've talked about him
over the last couple of months, whether or not he
would remain in nawlings or head out of town. If
you didn't see this, perhaps not Tomorrow's future becoming a
(04:08):
major talking point around NFL circles because the Saints went
out and signed his replacement, Travis A. Chan in free agencies,
so they have now reworked Tomorrow's contract, and people said
Moody's gonna get released or traded, and instead, based on
(04:30):
the reporting, he's going to stay on the shores of
the Mighty Mississippi River there in New Orleans. Kamara's agent
said the goal was to quote remain with the Saints
and retire a Saint well. Kamara has stated he has
no beef with management, even though there were people chatting
about that. So that is a good jumping off point.
(04:50):
Let us discuss the question, how do we classify Alvin
Kamara's decision to rework his contract and stay where he
has been his entire career with the Saints. So I've
got cats me out, jet puffed and houseplants, and we
will combine all of these things together. We're gonna make
(05:11):
a big pot of gumbo and have a side of
some jambalaya. Is what we're gonna have, all right. So,
first of all, the PR spin spin, spin, spin, spin, spin,
spin spin, This is a total manipulation. I believe this
is a loyalty plate in reality, based on sources not
(05:32):
close to the situation. Just using common sense. This was
the only door that wasn't locked for Alvin Kamara. This
was not a negotiation, It was not This was Kamara
reading the room. His agent absolutely put out feelers to
the upper crust of the NFL, the Super Bowl contenders
(05:54):
like the Rams and the Ravens and the Bills and
the Chiefs and the Broncos, his old coach Sean Payton.
And it turns out those teams either had their phone
on airplane mode or they just ghosted them. That's it, right,
And so it's the NFL's version of showing up at
that famous nightclub that catch me out there in New
Orleans and the bouncer says, app sorry, Chap, we're at
(06:16):
full capacity. You can't get in. Well I want to
get in, Well you can't get in. Why can't I
get it? We're at full capacity. No, you're not. This
place is about well, it doesn't matter. You're not on
the list. You can't get in. That's it. Following what
was an absolute boondoggle of a season in twenty twenty five, Kamara,
who will soon turn thirty one years old, has to
now swallow his medicine and do not kick yourself. When
(06:40):
that guy Kellen Moore who's the coach there and he
talks about a combo backfield and all that fluff. Camaraw
is officially the Margarita mule for the Saints there behind
Travis h Chan who got paid a fifty two million
dollar contract. So this is a reality check hand delivered
(07:00):
by the Saints that this he gets to stay in
the NFL and likely his final year or two with
the Saints, and then that's it. And clearly the league
has spoken the good teams are like, well we're good.
Now if you play well in limited duty for the Saints,
we can revisit this at the trade DeLine. Now, secondly,
that college football we go We used to have this
guy named boy. He was big Jed who fled. Who's
(07:23):
on hiatus from the show right now? And Jed's a
big seminole fan. Florida State's coach Mike Norvell dismissing concerns
about him being on the hot seat entering the upcoming
college football season, which will be here before you know it,
saying the outside speculation, he said has no effect on
his approach. Noveil gave the money quote he said, for words,
(07:46):
I don't fear failure. Close quote. He also went on
to say that he's focused on leading the Florida State
program the right way rather than worrying about job security.
Blah blah, blah blah. Novel emphasized that all the talk
is meaningless. No, it's not. I've made a career out
of this, and he said it's all meaningless unless it's
(08:07):
backed up. Unless it's backed up on the field, He said,
words don't matter. It's about the action. It's about the
action now. Question, Despite Florida State coach Mike Norvel saying
he's not concerned about his status, what is your verdict?
Is he on the hot seat entering twenty twenty six?
(08:30):
So to answer that question, does McDonald sell a lot
of fries? Yeah, I think we know the answer to that.
Novelle's seat is not just hot at this particular point,
It's not. It's it's like he hey, Botchi, grill back
at Benny Hannah, full sizzle. That's it, and the magic
bubble burst under him. A couple of years ago, a
(08:54):
premier college football Brian backing up Bobby bout days of
Florida State, and they have not just regressed in Tallahassee.
The Seminoles went sideways. They went upside down and right
into the Gulf of Mexico. Not good FSU last two
(09:15):
years seven and seventeen. My computer like brain tells me
that is a less than three hundred winning percentage over
the past two seasons, a rather shocking free fall when
you consider the fact that they had an undefeated acc
run I believe was twenty twenty three if I remember correctly,
a tremendous run there and the snub they playoff, controversy
(09:40):
and all that. So here we are a couple years
later and Norvelle is like, hey, I'm not worried. However,
it is interesting to note that Norvelle did not promise
that he's going to turn things around. He spoke in
general terms about accountability. The program, the Seminoles program has
been a white hot tire fire. And he's out there
(10:02):
selling bags of jet puffed marshmallows. You'll want to roast
some marshmallows. Well, no, I'd like you to win some games.
But I have some jet puff marshmallows you want to row?
I want you. I'd like you to win some games.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
They cannot justify keeping him, they being the big shots
there in Tallahassee Novelle. If he has another dud, that's
rather obvious, right, he's already used up not one, but
two mulligans at this point, consecutive terrible seasons for Florida State.
And you look at this in a parallel to mention,
If Dion Sanders gets his act together at Colorado and
(10:34):
the Buffaloes have a big year, and Norvelle has another
Kamakazi mission for Florida State, he can't escape the duldrums.
The Boosters will dig into their petty cash at Florida
State and make a change. Three strikes in, you're ount
he's already used two of his strikes, and you turn
it around quickly, or the boosters will do the old
(10:55):
tomahawk chop and right on top of Norvelle's ahead. All
right now, final thought to the grumble from down Under
and Sophie Cuttingham, who angry Bill tells me is a
WNBA player. So Sophie Cuttingham recently complained about the ugly truth.
(11:18):
She outlined the ugly truth of the WNBA contracts. He
did a recent podcast interview for Friends and Family, and
Cuttingham discussed the difficulties of the WNBA contract. She said,
players must leverage their platform. I love that uh to
have future success when the ball stops bouncing. Bounce Syap bounce,
(11:41):
Seap bounce, schep bouncing. Now, keep in mind Cuttingham is
making roughly six hundred thousand dollars this season, and she
had previously made about two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
She complained that the salary increase to over half a
million dollars is still inadequate for her retirement plans. Additionally, income,
(12:04):
she said, is necessary for financial security. The question should
you and I start a go fund Me page for
Sophie Cuttingham and her fellow WNBA players. So this is
truly a heartbreaking. Sob story is what this is. She's
twenty nine, she's playing in a niche league and complaining
(12:29):
she cannot comfortably retire at age twenty nine. Really just
said it tugs at your heartstrings, does it not? I mean,
my god, I lit a candle for her. I did
mind you. These players just grumbled and snagged a massive
three hundred and eighty percent pay raise. I haven't gotten
a pay raise in years. I don't know about you.
(12:51):
Three hundred and eighty percent pay raise, bumping the minimum.
The minimum salary before was one hundred and twenty five thousand,
and so it's all the way up six hundred thousands.
That not the minimum, but six hundred thousand is the salary.
So this is hutzpa capital C hutzpa. And look, I'm
sure Caitlin Clark brought some flashy rating spikes and all
(13:15):
that cause she did to the WNBA. However, if you
look at the league from thirty thousand feet in, this
guy looking down, just keeping it real. We used to
have a caller named Real Talk back in day the
league's growth. It's kind of like house plants slow and
only when you remember to watter them. You know what
I'm saying like most games pull audiences that look very
(13:36):
mediocre for like a mid tier college sports league or
random cable TV reruns. And while the NBA pulls in
millions and millions more on a regular basis, the WNBA
celebrates cracking a single million viewers in a broadcast like
(13:57):
it's the moon landing. It's a big deal to them,
and outside outside of a few hyped matchobs, nobody is
really talking about the league, and it has zero. The
WNBA has zero a mainstream cultural impact compared to the
big boys, the NFL, NBA, even baseball. Hector World Cup
(14:20):
obviously right now in America, big deal, even though the
USA is out, so it's it's not going to be
appointment television anytime soon, if ever. And the reality is simple,
that WNBA the biggest rival. He goes, oh, sexism, It's
not sexism, it's just math. That's the problem. The math
is the problem. There's more women than men, so if
(14:42):
all the women watch the WNBA, you wouldn't need the dudes.
The women don't like it either. Right is the Bane
Mallor Show. If you'd like to be part of the program,
you can join us right now. Eight seven seven ninety
nine on Fox. Actually, you can't. Why do I give
out the number? Muscle memory? That's why I give out
the number. Malar USA. The acts are lined up. We
(15:02):
got to pick up the pace. I see some massive names,
massive names. Mallard Palooza twenty twenty six. We'll get real
time feedback on x at Ben Maller hashtag Mallard Palooza.
It continues, We'll get to it. We will do it next.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller.
Would mean a lot to have you join us on
our weekly auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's name
is the Fifth Hour. I'll tell you it's a spin
off of The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights
on FSR.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Why should you listen? Picture if you will? A world will.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
We chat with captains of industry in media, sports, and
more every week explore.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Some amazing facts about human nature and more.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Listen to the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller on the
iHeartRadio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
It is the Ben Mahler Show. The Malor Palooza twenty
twenty six continues. What a night, What a night it
has been, and it's got a lot of time to go,
a lot of acts. Great compliment from Vincent m He
wrote in he said, I want to work the graveyard again,
just to listen to your show live. This has been great.
(16:19):
There you go, he says, I want my Balderdash trophy back.
All right, very good, And if you want to comment,
give us real time feedback on what's going on. And
you can use hashtag Mallard Polloz if you know how
to spell that, or just at Ben Maller, Lorena FSR,
Tech Queen and Coop a Bronco fan back to it,
I said, just tuning in. It's the yearly events called
(16:40):
the Mallard Pluza twenty twenty six. We have judges, meet myself,
Ben Lorena and the Coop a Loop. We are the
judges along with our buddy Inca Terror and Inca. We're
gonna try to pick up the pace here. Incore, we've
been a little slow. We got a lot of acts.
I want to make sure everyone gets their opportunity. Okay,
so we're gona try to go quicker. I don't want
to deprive some and we, for some reason have a
(17:02):
lot of commercials. Apparently the show's popular, so I didn't
factor that into the timing. Bad job by me. But anyway,
all right, hold on inker tear Our next up act.
Our next act up is a gentleman, a young man
that I met in Worcester at the big Mallard Meet
and greet, did the we did there on a rainy
night in in Worcester and love him. He goes out
(17:23):
in Cape Cod. He's a fan favorite. He's got his
dog Willis. Let's give it up to a right, alright
and right and the CommonWell, hello, Andre.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
Ben, how are you? It's good, good, good to be with.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
You this seven.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Well, I'm excited, Andre. Do you need anything here? You
want to give us a tease on what you're doing?
You just want to get into it and surprise us.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
It's all.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
It's whatever you want.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
I do.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (17:49):
I do kind of want to a little preview here.
I just want to say that it was very impactful
for me, the Mallard Meet and great in Worcester, very
impactful for me. But in the succeeding days and weeks.
You know, there was some ramifications. You know. What I'm
trying to say is you know, it was good to
meet them out the Mallard Militia team, you know what
(18:11):
I mean. But I did get caught up my feelings
a little bit. I did get caught up my feelings
a little bit. You know, I was thinking about it.
So I had to put together, you know, a little
presentation here, a little song here, I.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Love I love it all right.
Speaker 6 (18:22):
I just I'm gonna do my best. I'm gonna do
my best. Ben. But but I'm ready to go. And
long story, not so long, Lorena. This one's for you.
Speaker 7 (18:32):
This one's for you, all right.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
The floor is yours. It's the Mallard Blues of twenty
twenty six. Our next act Andre from the Commonwealth.
Speaker 6 (18:43):
Okay, then here we go by the Man in full
of you. Ready run, I'm ready you ready drive? I'm
(19:05):
ready slick?
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Are you girl?
Speaker 6 (19:08):
I must send something strange in my mind situation. It
look cure it because we're running that time.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Shit.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Oh so.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Relationship, they seem from the start.
Speaker 8 (19:34):
It oh so.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
Love is not to give it from the heart. Check
it out. It's driving me out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
That's why it's.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Far called me to find kick get it out of
my head.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
It gits a love that girlage.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Whoa all right? Andre Andre, Andre Andre from the Commonwealth.
Outstanding job, Andre. Let's go to the judge. Let's go
to the judge of scorecards. Akata. You want to start off.
Incota's a classically trained pianist. He's performed all over the world.
(20:25):
He's a friend of the show. We're so happy to
have him back as our judge. Incitara, go ahead, i'd
you score it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
So I'm conflicted. I was dancing around, but I didn't
I didn't understand half of what he said. But I'm
going to give him my favorite number five.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
All right, number five, all right, right in the middle.
I did think it was entertaining. I didn't think the
quality was very good. It was original, I guess, and
it was more about Lorraino than me. So I'm going
to dock him a couple points on that. So I
want to give him a six. I'll give him a six.
What about you, Lorraina, well bad by.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
You, guys.
Speaker 10 (20:57):
He was definitely seeing the Queen of Hearts rendition of
that song.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
So you know, O late and I love.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I thought it was so good.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
Of course you yes, and you know you had to
pick the song, figure out how you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Work sucking up to you. That's why suck up more.
Speaker 10 (21:12):
I'll give you a ten, baby, let's go all right,
a ten.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You gotta be oh, come on, come on, let's call
the FCC coop. That's a violation of integrity laws. Please
the late cool, go ahead, cool, please the lady Russian judge.
All the guys do on the show.
Speaker 11 (21:29):
Suck up you, come on more like Levanka.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Uh. I was ready to give it a four.
Speaker 11 (21:40):
And then and then we hit that bigger note there, like,
you know, the the higher note there at the end,
and I was I was impressed. Yeah, I thought it
was gonna be a little more like customized lyrics to
the the show. Sure, I'm gonna give it that's a
six as well.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
All right, Andre, thank you so much, good job, We
love you. Thanks for being part.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Of the show.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Andre, thanks so much. All right, buddy, there he goes
our friend Andrea, and glad he was able to take
part our next act. We go now to gentlemen, we
call the hostess with demoses in Lost Wages, Nevada. Several
years we've been able to go out to Vegas and
Slug has put this the big Mallard meet and greet together.
He's our next act up. He's a wild card act.
(22:24):
So coop your MIC's on. Let's welcome in. Let's see
here our buddy Slug from Vegas. Hello Slug, welcome.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
What's going on?
Speaker 8 (22:33):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Hear me?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I can hear loud and proud Slug? Do you need
anything from us?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
You're good.
Speaker 8 (22:40):
You know this is something that I've.
Speaker 10 (22:44):
An.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
Everybody knows that I do.
Speaker 8 (22:45):
It's a chalent I've been working on since about fourteen
fifteen that we're on about.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, all right, let's let's sit. Let's set you up
here and the floor is yours. Our next performer here
from Vegas, our buddy Slug.
Speaker 8 (23:03):
It's an instrument of sorts.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Here we go.
Speaker 11 (23:13):
Is it coming?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's a dead air His actor is dead air. Slug.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
H You couldn't hear that?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Could we could not hear that? We could not? I
don't know. It was a lot of day air.
Speaker 8 (23:31):
One more time, one more time?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Here you go, stop, you're gonna hurt yourself, Slug, stop.
Speaker 11 (23:54):
You're gonna when we when we had the dead air,
I really thought Slug was about to like crap himself
because it was like trying to.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
All right, Uh, let's get to the calm down, Coop
calm down or a slug calmed down? All right? Uh,
let's go to the judges' score cards. All right, So
where to begin? All right? Entertaining, there's a lot of
(24:28):
dead air.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
It was.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I'll say it was suspenseful. How about that? There was
suspense because we didn't know what was going on, right,
so there was some suspense. There Was it memorable?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
He just you know? Was it difficult? No, definitely not difficult. Hey,
you don't know, that's true. I did not know. I
did not know. Does it relate to a lot of
the audience? Probably? So I want to give Slug. I'll
give him a solid four, solid four inca tear quickly,
(24:56):
please ink a tear? How did you just score? Our
latest performer? Slug in Vegas, hailing into his bong. I
don't think I'm talking to you. I put the long
ride up, hold on inco typologize where that was? Inco tear?
Go ahead and good tar please I PO zero four
point two, Lorena.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh, that was good.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
I loved it and it really shocked me. I had
no idea what was very shocked. And also it felt
like it was really long. That was one of the
longer rips that I've heard. So I'm I'm gonna give
him a seven.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Well, we didn't hear the first one, so co.
Speaker 10 (25:33):
Real good, So you know what hit him?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Real good?
Speaker 12 (25:35):
Okay, Coop, please, I'm gonna give it a six. All right, six,
very good? Hold on a sect there. Our next act.
We go now to Vegas. We go back to Vegas.
One of our fan favorites.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We've seen him and his lovely wife, We've met them
several times over the years. An actual stand up comedian.
He's a surfer. This guy's living the life. He spends
part of his time in Mexico, the whole, part of
his time in Vegas, part of his time in Southern California.
A actual comedian, Our buddy's surfer Todd the comedian, Hello Surfer.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Todd, what's happened in Big Ben?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Good to hear from your mom man, your epic joke
writer on the lame jokes of the week. And I'm
gonna give you some time here you need anything. I
assume you're doing comedy, yes, or something else?
Speaker 8 (26:20):
Oh yeah, I just want to say welcome to the
Ben Mallar Comedy Club.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
All right, here we go. The floor is yours. Our
next act in the Malor Plus At twenty twenty six
from Viva Las Vegas surfer Todd the Comedian.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
Did you hear that a major Hollywood director was arrested
at Los Angeles International Airport? Authorities ask him what business
he had there? He said he was there to shoot
a pilot. Wow, feel free to laugh. You guys just
need to get in here, all right. I've been a
professional surfer for fifteen years, but surfing's in a very
(26:55):
high paying sport. When I ended my career, I checked
my retirement. Let's just say my four one was not okay.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Calibunga.
Speaker 8 (27:06):
Uh, I'm a surfer and right now my doctor has
me on a strict seaweed diet. When I seaweed, I
smoke it.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
You get along very well.
Speaker 8 (27:16):
My name is Todd Bonnett. People have been calling me
TV since I was a kid. I got a brother, Kevin.
He's KB. That's KB and TV together. We're kickback and
take bong hits.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
There you go. Family, It's a family.
Speaker 8 (27:29):
When Liza was at her highest weight, she said if
she died, she wanted to be cremated. Talk about smoking
a fatty. My uncle Victor just opened a new business.
It's a combination vape shop slash massage parlor. He calls
it vix vape or rub.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Joke.
Speaker 8 (27:52):
My family's from the sticks in Indiana. I recently checked
my family history. I couldn't find it on ancestry dot com.
I did find it on ancestry dot com.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Wow, that was a thing. I know.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
You know what they say? What do they call a
person who has sex with a sandwich? They're actually considered inbred.
To end with this one, when Catholic priests had sex,
did you know that altar boys were not their first choice?
Altar boys were actually second to nuns. Are gonna whoop? Whoop?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Thank you, sir for Todd the comedian. All right, professional comedian.
He's been on stage doing those jokes, and we love him.
He's one of the great characters on the show.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Most people may have missed the last.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
One, probably did not hear the last one. We want
to keep our jobs a deal, Yes we do. So
winning dout, throw it out. I thought the jokes were funny. Again,
very tough to do comedies, It's very difficult. I thought,
he's a very funny man. I I like him, so
that affects my scoring. I'm gonna gi him a six.
Uh you want to go next, Lorena, We'll change up
the order a little bit.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (29:07):
I said he had a great variety of jokes between
dad jokes. He brought back some Lizzo jokes.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Love that.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I was gonna give him a five, all.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Right, solid five koop loop. I just score our buddy
surfer Todd.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I thought, you know, there was.
Speaker 11 (29:20):
It's really hard to make me laugh during a comedy routine, honestly,
unless you.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Know you're one of the unless you're drunk at a
comedy club, is right right, or or you're you know,
Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 11 (29:30):
Sure, but there was a few of those I laughed at.
I'm I'm gonna give it a seven.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Wow, seven, inca terror you're grade on our buddy surfer,
Todd the comedian.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I missed Lizzo. It was good to have her back.
So I'm going I'm going six.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Okay, solid six, very good, good job by you. Surfer
Todd our next to act up. As we continue to
play the hits here, you gotta get a lot of
acts in here. Got some very talented people that want
to be part of this. Let's say hello to a.
What do we have? Super Market Steve from southern California
is next. Hello, our buddy's supermarket Steu.
Speaker 7 (30:06):
All right quick, then mississip the d u y check
for the back in Michigan when my dad was a
big drinker and he taught me how to do it,
here we go z y x v u t s
r q p oh man o k.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
J i h g f b d c b A.
Speaker 7 (30:21):
Would be the wow, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Wow, can you do it one more time?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Are you drunk right now?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (30:29):
Oh, I'll do slower z y x w v u
t s r q p oh m n o kJ
i h g f b.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
D c v A.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
All right. That is a that's like a stupid human trick,
is what that is? Being able to do that.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Let's go to the judges scorecards on super market Steve
doing the alphabet. He's at the store right now working
doing the alphabet backwards. Originality. Not everyone can do that
it is certainly unique. Le I don't hear that very often.
It was quick.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Professional. Was it entertaining? I guess it depends how you
look at it. I'm gonna go six again. I'm gonna
go six. Let's go to incotar inco terror. Let me
putch up the right line here, incotaror how'd you score it? Incotar?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I mean those letters led into each other like it
was so professional. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I'm going seven, seven, okay, very good, Lorena.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
I love that if you got pulled over, you could
do it so well. I feel like you could do
it intoxicated, you could do it sober, you could do
it upside down on your head.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That was so good and so fast and so swift.
Speaker 10 (31:35):
You could work on your articulation a little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
But I'm gonna give you a five, five all right,
solid five? And what about you, Kopoloup?
Speaker 11 (31:41):
I'm impressed. I would like to know that he is drunk,
and I want to hear it again drunk. But yeah,
I've never heard that before.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Those good.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I'm gonna give the a six, all right, So super MARKO.
Steve does the alphabet backwards. I can't do that I
can barely do it forwards. All right. That's our next
act on the Mallet Plus at twenty twenty six, and man,
I'm looking forward to talking to him. He's very active
on social media. This is the guy that made the
Banoit Benjamin documentary that's on YouTube about the nineteen eighties
nineties clipper Benoit Benjamin. His name is Sean Ge and
(32:13):
he is up next. Hello Sean, Welcome, Hello Ben, Hello Ben,
Good to have you here. You've got a song that
you were debating whether to do it live or to
send in a recorded version. I liked it. You're gonna
do it live. That's pretty cool. And so do you
need anything? You're good to go get your studio. You're
all set up, Yes, I'm all set up.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Without further ado, the Ballad of Benoit Benjamin.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Here we go. This is from our friend Sean Ge
in southern California on the Malapalooza twenty twenty six, his mother, child.
Speaker 8 (32:47):
And labor for one long week. He was a sleep
joyes STPs.
Speaker 6 (33:07):
No advent man.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
When he dissed the court people thinking of the care pubic.
Speaker 8 (33:23):
True, he does this space just does.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Stares into space.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Call it ben.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Jock, I'll retire to child.
Speaker 7 (33:52):
Over five hundred k according.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
To the.
Speaker 8 (34:05):
Just Forgot.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah, there is our buddy, Sean Gee from southern California.
I liked it. I don't know the rate has no
idea who Pannoyd Benjamin is. I'm sure, and I think
I think Coop might even be too young to know
who Pannoyd Benjamin is. But I'm old enough. And I
interviewed Benoit a few times back at the end of
his career, and I love the fact that you did
(34:35):
that for him. I thought it was good. Uh, the
quality was not the greatest unfortunately. Uh that's you know.
I don't know what happened there. You're in a studio,
but for some reason it overmodulated a little bit, which
is unfortunate. So there wasn't a lot of polish on it.
It was it was nice. I liked it. For me,
it was cool. I'm gonna give you a six and
(34:57):
a half. I'll I'll give you a six and a half.
What about you, Lorraina.
Speaker 10 (35:01):
You know, I do love live music, but this one
went right over my head. Like you said, it was
very pixelated, over modulated. Cadn't hear a lot of the lyrics,
I gotta give you a four.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Four wow, very rude? All right, coop a little go
ahead there, cool please.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I appreciate you know, custom lyrics.
Speaker 11 (35:17):
I always like that, but I did think that the
melody of the custom lyrics could have flowed a little
bit better.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Uh, I'm gonna go ahead and give it a six.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
All right, you guys are all jerks. Let's find out
six and a half half point that I do. That's
a big half point. In guit terror the classically trained
pianist from New York incotar, how did you score? Seanjee
a tribute to Benoit.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I mean, I can't sing and play at the same time.
That's a that's a hard skill. I liked his low notes.
I mean they kind of growled and they were sort
of appropriately placed given the words so at, which we
call song painting in classical music. I'm giving it a
five and a half.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
All right, five minute shangie. Thank you so much. Everyone
go when you have a Chanceti'll do it now because
we do the show. But Sean, I'm not gonna be
if you remember Benoit Benjamin, Sean tracked him down and
interviewed Benoit, and he did a whole thing on YouTube,
so you can check that out if you want the
Ballad of Benoit. I believe it's called the Ballad of Benoit.
All Right, So mallat Pallusa twenty twenty six. Up next,
straight ahead, Kathy in Madison. Oh my god, Kathy in
(36:22):
Madison is up next. We'll get to her and we
will do it.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Next.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It is the Ben Maler Show. The Mallard Palusa twenty
twenty six continues. You can hear this show live on
the stream on Fox Sports Radio channel, on the iHeartRadio app,
and the Ben Maler Show podcast, Fifth Hour Podcast, all
of it available mixture to have that iHeartRadio app on
your device, you can always hear the show wherever you are.
All right, right back to it. Our next act on
the Malla Palusa twenty twenty six, We now go to
(36:57):
our friend in Madison, Wisconsin, and that would be Kathy
in Madison. As she is ready to go. She's the
Hey mona woman and she is not able to do
this live. So we have Kathy who sent this in
a little earlier, and we now go to the legend
(37:17):
of malor Palooza gone by. Here's Kathy and Madison.
Speaker 9 (37:49):
Wold, what a voice, goddess. Stop port Cappy, come on solo,
(38:15):
she got skills?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Wow? Wow? Oh no, sure, come.
Speaker 8 (38:58):
All right?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
There she is Kathy in Madison, a fan favorite, and
I love that. Kathy took my advice and she had
sent some songs in after hey mon, if you didn't
really sing? And I liked that she returned to the vocals.
Very nice there, Kathy in Madison, Inka terror. Would you
like to score that? How'd you score it? Inca terra?
Speaker 7 (39:22):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I just I have no words. I'm speechless. But it
was amazing. She's outdone herself. And for that alone, I'm
giving her an eight and a half.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Wow, unbelievable. Alright, I will go next. It was entertaining,
it was unforgettable, and I thought, based on my scorecard,
I'm gonna give Kathy. I think she's great. I really
love her. I'm gonna give her two. What about you, Lorena?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
What?
Speaker 3 (40:01):
That was so good?
Speaker 10 (40:02):
That might have been the most seductive rendition of that
song I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
It knocked my socks off.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Kathy that was so good, you get an eight?
Speaker 1 (40:11):
I hate Oh my god. All right, Coopolo, please next up.
But it's Malapalooza twenty twenty six. This is Kathy and Madison.
Speaker 11 (40:19):
Despite what others may think, I think Kathy has improved
every year that she has done this sound show.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
You're talking about. I have no idea, and I think,
you know, I was.
Speaker 11 (40:30):
I was gonna give this like an eight like everybody else,
But I'm pretty sure there were some vocal effects on there,
and I think that's a little like, you know, technology,
So I'm going to give it a two.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Oh you agree with me, You agree with me.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
You should be impressed. She can use it. She was
very good, but it was a two. It's you know,
it's a two is better than zero.
aUI, cauz aUI. It's our number three, Our number three.
The Saints go marching in. We got the Mallard Plus
at twenty twenty sixth the comedy the songs continue. But
here in our number three, how do we classify Alvin
Camara's decision to rework his contract and stay with the
(00:21):
Saints in the Bayou. We'll talk about that. Also in
college football, despite Florida State coach Mike Norvel saying he's
not concerned about his status with the Seminoles, what is
your verdict on that? And as well, we'll say it,
should we start a go fund me? Should we start
a go fundme for Sophie Cunningham and her fellow WNBA
(00:45):
player She complained she's not making enough to retire at
age twenty nine. What a sob story that is. We'll
talk about all that. The Malor Plus at twenty twenty
six continues, big name acts, You're only gonna get here.
It's the greatest night for entertainment. It's the Variety Show
and it's yours right now. The Malard Palooza and the
Ben Mallard monologues. Here in our number three, staying in
(01:13):
the Bayou, Well, come. In the beginning of another hour
of the Ben Mahlor Show. We are in the air
ev rewares we shoot the crap and boy do we
do that? And try not to bite our tongues. It's
a big night here coast to coast, border to border
(01:35):
and beyond on the mast and appetizingly powerful microphones of
fsre emminating from the ball the human cannon Ball of
the Mallard Palooza twenty twenty six. Guaranteed human from the
world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios were Mikey in Tucson.
(01:57):
Don't you know? Reminds us that this hour made possible
in part by our friends at tire Rack. Yes, tire Rack,
can you believe that it's unbelievable. For over forty years,
tire Rack has been helping customers like convincing m find
the right tires for how, what and where they drive,
ship fast and free back by free road hazard protection
(02:19):
with convenient installation options. Yeah, very important, like mobile tire
installation tire rack dot com. The way that tire buying
should be should be. But the wait, there's think we're done. No,
we're not done. But wait, there's more, said the man
(02:40):
with the microphone said wait, there's more.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
In fact, believe it or not, Believe it or not,
Home Depot. The good people over there at Home Depot
want you to know. And this Neil and fall rivers.
So let the people know, I said, I will kneel,
I'll let them know. Upgrade your FIFA World Cup twenty
twenty six. Set up, build it like Beckham from living
room to lawn with the Home Depot and take the
fast free delivery. Assist Home Depot Official FIFA World Cup
(03:04):
twenty twenty six supporters subject to availability. And that is excitement,
not as exciting, not as exciting as this because the man,
the myth, the legend. Jay Dot podcast Jade Dot in
Utah said, Ben, what about the TV thing? Well, jay Dot,
it's not just a TV thing. It's Fox one. The
(03:25):
excitement of the FIFA World Cup is now streaming live
on Fox one, the official English streaming platform. To catch
every unforgettable moment. Fox one brings the action straight to
your screen, so you never miss a goal or an
epic choke job by England. Download Fox one and experience
the FIFA World Cup live. The Malat Paluza will continue
(03:46):
in a few minutes. We've got big names, act big
names lined up here. So let's get to the mal
monologue our lead this hour from now Orleans, where the
Saints are finalizing a new contract with Alvin Kamara, and
that ends a lot of spec we've talked about him
over the last couple of months, whether or not he
would remain in nawlings or head out of town. If
you didn't see this, perhaps not Tomorrow's future becoming a
(04:08):
major talking point around NFL circles because the Saints went
out and signed his replacement, Travis A. Chan in free agencies,
so they have now reworked Tomorrow's contract, and people said
Moody's gonna get released or traded, and instead, based on
(04:30):
the reporting, he's going to stay on the shores of
the Mighty Mississippi River there in New Orleans. Kamara's agent
said the goal was to quote remain with the Saints
and retire a Saint well. Kamara has stated he has
no beef with management, even though there were people chatting
about that. So that is a good jumping off point.
(04:50):
Let us discuss the question, how do we classify Alvin
Kamara's decision to rework his contract and stay where he
has been his entire career with the Saints. So I've
got cats me out, jet puffed and houseplants, and we
will combine all of these things together. We're gonna make
(05:11):
a big pot of gumbo and have a side of
some jambalaya. Is what we're gonna have, all right. So,
first of all, the PR spin spin, spin, spin, spin, spin,
spin spin, This is a total manipulation. I believe this
is a loyalty plate in reality, based on sources not
(05:32):
close to the situation. Just using common sense. This was
the only door that wasn't locked for Alvin Kamara. This
was not a negotiation, It was not This was Kamara
reading the room. His agent absolutely put out feelers to
the upper crust of the NFL, the Super Bowl contenders
(05:54):
like the Rams and the Ravens and the Bills and
the Chiefs and the Broncos, his old coach Sean Payton.
And it turns out those teams either had their phone
on airplane mode or they just ghosted them. That's it, right,
And so it's the NFL's version of showing up at
that famous nightclub that catch me out there in New
Orleans and the bouncer says, app sorry, Chap, we're at
(06:16):
full capacity. You can't get in. Well I want to
get in, Well you can't get in. Why can't I
get it? We're at full capacity. No, you're not. This
place is about well, it doesn't matter. You're not on
the list. You can't get in. That's it. Following what
was an absolute boondoggle of a season in twenty twenty five, Kamara,
who will soon turn thirty one years old, has to
now swallow his medicine and do not kick yourself. When
(06:40):
that guy Kellen Moore who's the coach there and he
talks about a combo backfield and all that fluff. Camaraw
is officially the Margarita mule for the Saints there behind
Travis h Chan who got paid a fifty two million
dollar contract. So this is a reality check hand delivered
(07:00):
by the Saints that this he gets to stay in
the NFL and likely his final year or two with
the Saints, and then that's it. And clearly the league
has spoken the good teams are like, well we're good.
Now if you play well in limited duty for the Saints,
we can revisit this at the trade DeLine. Now, secondly,
that college football we go We used to have this
guy named boy. He was big Jed who fled. Who's
(07:23):
on hiatus from the show right now? And Jed's a
big seminole fan. Florida State's coach Mike Norvell dismissing concerns
about him being on the hot seat entering the upcoming
college football season, which will be here before you know it,
saying the outside speculation, he said has no effect on
his approach. Noveil gave the money quote he said, for words,
(07:46):
I don't fear failure. Close quote. He also went on
to say that he's focused on leading the Florida State
program the right way rather than worrying about job security.
Blah blah, blah blah. Novel emphasized that all the talk
is meaningless. No, it's not. I've made a career out
of this, and he said it's all meaningless unless it's
(08:07):
backed up. Unless it's backed up on the field, He said,
words don't matter. It's about the action. It's about the
action now. Question, Despite Florida State coach Mike Norvel saying
he's not concerned about his status, what is your verdict?
Is he on the hot seat entering twenty twenty six?
(08:30):
So to answer that question, does McDonald sell a lot
of fries? Yeah, I think we know the answer to that.
Novelle's seat is not just hot at this particular point,
It's not. It's it's like he hey, Botchi, grill back
at Benny Hannah, full sizzle. That's it, and the magic
bubble burst under him. A couple of years ago, a
(08:54):
premier college football Brian backing up Bobby bout days of
Florida State, and they have not just regressed in Tallahassee.
The Seminoles went sideways. They went upside down and right
into the Gulf of Mexico. Not good FSU last two
(09:15):
years seven and seventeen. My computer like brain tells me
that is a less than three hundred winning percentage over
the past two seasons, a rather shocking free fall when
you consider the fact that they had an undefeated acc
run I believe was twenty twenty three if I remember correctly,
a tremendous run there and the snub they playoff, controversy
(09:40):
and all that. So here we are a couple years
later and Norvelle is like, hey, I'm not worried. However,
it is interesting to note that Norvelle did not promise
that he's going to turn things around. He spoke in
general terms about accountability. The program, the Seminoles program has
been a white hot tire fire. And he's out there
(10:02):
selling bags of jet puffed marshmallows. You'll want to roast
some marshmallows. Well, no, I'd like you to win some games.
But I have some jet puff marshmallows you want to row?
I want you. I'd like you to win some games.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
They cannot justify keeping him, they being the big shots
there in Tallahassee Novelle. If he has another dud, that's
rather obvious, right, he's already used up not one, but
two mulligans at this point, consecutive terrible seasons for Florida State.
And you look at this in a parallel to mention,
If Dion Sanders gets his act together at Colorado and
(10:34):
the Buffaloes have a big year, and Norvelle has another
Kamakazi mission for Florida State, he can't escape the duldrums.
The Boosters will dig into their petty cash at Florida
State and make a change. Three strikes in, you're ount
he's already used two of his strikes, and you turn
it around quickly, or the boosters will do the old
(10:55):
tomahawk chop and right on top of Norvelle's ahead. All
right now, final thought to the grumble from down Under
and Sophie Cuttingham, who angry Bill tells me is a
WNBA player. So Sophie Cuttingham recently complained about the ugly truth.
(11:18):
She outlined the ugly truth of the WNBA contracts. He
did a recent podcast interview for Friends and Family, and
Cuttingham discussed the difficulties of the WNBA contract. She said,
players must leverage their platform. I love that uh to
have future success when the ball stops bouncing. Bounce Syap bounce,
(11:41):
Seap bounce, schep bouncing. Now, keep in mind Cuttingham is
making roughly six hundred thousand dollars this season, and she
had previously made about two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
She complained that the salary increase to over half a
million dollars is still inadequate for her retirement plans. Additionally, income,
(12:04):
she said, is necessary for financial security. The question should
you and I start a go fund Me page for
Sophie Cuttingham and her fellow WNBA players. So this is
truly a heartbreaking. Sob story is what this is. She's
twenty nine, she's playing in a niche league and complaining
(12:29):
she cannot comfortably retire at age twenty nine. Really just
said it tugs at your heartstrings, does it not? I mean,
my god, I lit a candle for her. I did
mind you. These players just grumbled and snagged a massive
three hundred and eighty percent pay raise. I haven't gotten
a pay raise in years. I don't know about you.
(12:51):
Three hundred and eighty percent pay raise, bumping the minimum.
The minimum salary before was one hundred and twenty five thousand,
and so it's all the way up six hundred thousands.
That not the minimum, but six hundred thousand is the salary.
So this is hutzpa capital C hutzpa. And look, I'm
sure Caitlin Clark brought some flashy rating spikes and all
(13:15):
that cause she did to the WNBA. However, if you
look at the league from thirty thousand feet in, this
guy looking down, just keeping it real. We used to
have a caller named Real Talk back in day the
league's growth. It's kind of like house plants slow and
only when you remember to watter them. You know what
I'm saying like most games pull audiences that look very
(13:36):
mediocre for like a mid tier college sports league or
random cable TV reruns. And while the NBA pulls in
millions and millions more on a regular basis, the WNBA
celebrates cracking a single million viewers in a broadcast like
(13:57):
it's the moon landing. It's a big deal to them,
and outside outside of a few hyped matchobs, nobody is
really talking about the league, and it has zero. The
WNBA has zero a mainstream cultural impact compared to the
big boys, the NFL, NBA, even baseball. Hector World Cup
(14:20):
obviously right now in America, big deal, even though the
USA is out, so it's it's not going to be
appointment television anytime soon, if ever. And the reality is simple,
that WNBA the biggest rival. He goes, oh, sexism, It's
not sexism, it's just math. That's the problem. The math
is the problem. There's more women than men, so if
(14:42):
all the women watch the WNBA, you wouldn't need the dudes.
The women don't like it either. Right is the Bane
Mallor Show. If you'd like to be part of the program,
you can join us right now. Eight seven seven ninety
nine on Fox. Actually, you can't. Why do I give
out the number? Muscle memory? That's why I give out
the number. Malar USA. The acts are lined up. We
(15:02):
got to pick up the pace. I see some massive names,
massive names. Mallard Palooza twenty twenty six. We'll get real
time feedback on x at Ben Maller hashtag Mallard Palooza.
It continues, We'll get to it. We will do it next.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller.
Would mean a lot to have you join us on
our weekly auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's name
is the Fifth Hour. I'll tell you it's a spin
off of The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights
on FSR.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Why should you listen? Picture if you will? A world will.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
We chat with captains of industry in media, sports, and
more every week explore.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Some amazing facts about human nature and more.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Listen to the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller on the
iHeartRadio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
It is the Ben Mahler Show. The Malor Palooza twenty
twenty six continues. What a night, What a night it
has been, and it's got a lot of time to go,
a lot of acts. Great compliment from Vincent m He
wrote in he said, I want to work the graveyard again,
just to listen to your show live. This has been great.
(16:19):
There you go, he says, I want my Balderdash trophy back.
All right, very good, And if you want to comment,
give us real time feedback on what's going on. And
you can use hashtag Mallard Polloz if you know how
to spell that, or just at Ben Maller, Lorena FSR,
Tech Queen and Coop a Bronco fan back to it,
I said, just tuning in. It's the yearly events called
(16:40):
the Mallard Pluza twenty twenty six. We have judges, meet myself,
Ben Lorena and the Coop a Loop. We are the
judges along with our buddy Inca Terror and Inca. We're
gonna try to pick up the pace here. Incore, we've
been a little slow. We got a lot of acts.
I want to make sure everyone gets their opportunity. Okay,
so we're gona try to go quicker. I don't want
to deprive some and we, for some reason have a
(17:02):
lot of commercials. Apparently the show's popular, so I didn't
factor that into the timing. Bad job by me. But anyway,
all right, hold on inker tear Our next up act.
Our next act up is a gentleman, a young man
that I met in Worcester at the big Mallard Meet
and greet, did the we did there on a rainy
night in in Worcester and love him. He goes out
(17:23):
in Cape Cod. He's a fan favorite. He's got his
dog Willis. Let's give it up to a right, alright
and right and the CommonWell, hello, Andre.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
Ben, how are you? It's good, good, good to be with.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
You this seven.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Well, I'm excited, Andre. Do you need anything here? You
want to give us a tease on what you're doing?
You just want to get into it and surprise us.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
It's all.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
It's whatever you want.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
I do.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (17:49):
I do kind of want to a little preview here.
I just want to say that it was very impactful
for me, the Mallard Meet and great in Worcester, very
impactful for me. But in the succeeding days and weeks.
You know, there was some ramifications. You know. What I'm
trying to say is you know, it was good to
meet them out the Mallard Militia team, you know what
(18:11):
I mean. But I did get caught up my feelings
a little bit. I did get caught up my feelings
a little bit. You know, I was thinking about it.
So I had to put together, you know, a little
presentation here, a little song here, I.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Love I love it all right.
Speaker 6 (18:22):
I just I'm gonna do my best. I'm gonna do
my best. Ben. But but I'm ready to go. And
long story, not so long, Lorena. This one's for you.
Speaker 7 (18:32):
This one's for you, all right.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
The floor is yours. It's the Mallard Blues of twenty
twenty six. Our next act Andre from the Commonwealth.
Speaker 6 (18:43):
Okay, then here we go by the Man in full
of you. Ready run, I'm ready you ready drive? I'm
(19:05):
ready slick?
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Are you girl?
Speaker 6 (19:08):
I must send something strange in my mind situation. It
look cure it because we're running that time.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Shit.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Oh so.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Relationship, they seem from the start.
Speaker 8 (19:34):
It oh so.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
Love is not to give it from the heart. Check
it out. It's driving me out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
That's why it's.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Far called me to find kick get it out of
my head.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
It gits a love that girlage.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Whoa all right? Andre Andre, Andre Andre from the Commonwealth.
Outstanding job, Andre. Let's go to the judge. Let's go
to the judge of scorecards. Akata. You want to start off.
Incota's a classically trained pianist. He's performed all over the world.
(20:25):
He's a friend of the show. We're so happy to
have him back as our judge. Incitara, go ahead, i'd
you score it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
So I'm conflicted. I was dancing around, but I didn't
I didn't understand half of what he said. But I'm
going to give him my favorite number five.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
All right, number five, all right, right in the middle.
I did think it was entertaining. I didn't think the
quality was very good. It was original, I guess, and
it was more about Lorraino than me. So I'm going
to dock him a couple points on that. So I
want to give him a six. I'll give him a six.
What about you, Lorraina, well bad by.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
You, guys.
Speaker 10 (20:57):
He was definitely seeing the Queen of Hearts rendition of
that song.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
So you know, O late and I love.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I thought it was so good.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
Of course you yes, and you know you had to
pick the song, figure out how you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Work sucking up to you. That's why suck up more.
Speaker 10 (21:12):
I'll give you a ten, baby, let's go all right,
a ten.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You gotta be oh, come on, come on, let's call
the FCC coop. That's a violation of integrity laws. Please
the late cool, go ahead, cool, please the lady Russian judge.
All the guys do on the show.
Speaker 11 (21:29):
Suck up you, come on more like Levanka.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Uh. I was ready to give it a four.
Speaker 11 (21:40):
And then and then we hit that bigger note there, like,
you know, the the higher note there at the end,
and I was I was impressed. Yeah, I thought it
was gonna be a little more like customized lyrics to
the the show. Sure, I'm gonna give it that's a
six as well.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
All right, Andre, thank you so much, good job, We
love you. Thanks for being part.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Of the show.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Andre, thanks so much. All right, buddy, there he goes
our friend Andrea, and glad he was able to take
part our next act. We go now to gentlemen, we
call the hostess with demoses in Lost Wages, Nevada. Several
years we've been able to go out to Vegas and
Slug has put this the big Mallard meet and greet together.
He's our next act up. He's a wild card act.
(22:24):
So coop your MIC's on. Let's welcome in. Let's see
here our buddy Slug from Vegas. Hello Slug, welcome.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
What's going on?
Speaker 8 (22:33):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Hear me?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I can hear loud and proud Slug? Do you need
anything from us?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
You're good.
Speaker 8 (22:40):
You know this is something that I've.
Speaker 10 (22:44):
An.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
Everybody knows that I do.
Speaker 8 (22:45):
It's a chalent I've been working on since about fourteen
fifteen that we're on about.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, all right, let's let's sit. Let's set you up
here and the floor is yours. Our next performer here
from Vegas, our buddy Slug.
Speaker 8 (23:03):
It's an instrument of sorts.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Here we go.
Speaker 11 (23:13):
Is it coming?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's a dead air His actor is dead air. Slug.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
H You couldn't hear that?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Could we could not hear that? We could not? I
don't know. It was a lot of day air.
Speaker 8 (23:31):
One more time, one more time?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Here you go, stop, you're gonna hurt yourself, Slug, stop.
Speaker 11 (23:54):
You're gonna when we when we had the dead air,
I really thought Slug was about to like crap himself
because it was like trying to.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
All right, Uh, let's get to the calm down, Coop
calm down or a slug calmed down? All right? Uh,
let's go to the judges' score cards. All right, So
where to begin? All right? Entertaining, there's a lot of
(24:28):
dead air.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
It was.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I'll say it was suspenseful. How about that? There was
suspense because we didn't know what was going on, right,
so there was some suspense. There Was it memorable?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
He just you know? Was it difficult? No, definitely not difficult. Hey,
you don't know, that's true. I did not know. I
did not know. Does it relate to a lot of
the audience? Probably? So I want to give Slug. I'll
give him a solid four, solid four inca tear quickly,
(24:56):
please ink a tear? How did you just score? Our
latest performer? Slug in Vegas, hailing into his bong. I
don't think I'm talking to you. I put the long
ride up, hold on inco typologize where that was? Inco tear?
Go ahead and good tar please I PO zero four
point two, Lorena.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh, that was good.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
I loved it and it really shocked me. I had
no idea what was very shocked. And also it felt
like it was really long. That was one of the
longer rips that I've heard. So I'm I'm gonna give
him a seven.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Well, we didn't hear the first one, so co.
Speaker 10 (25:33):
Real good, So you know what hit him?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Real good?
Speaker 12 (25:35):
Okay, Coop, please, I'm gonna give it a six. All right, six,
very good? Hold on a sect there. Our next act.
We go now to Vegas. We go back to Vegas.
One of our fan favorites.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We've seen him and his lovely wife, We've met them
several times over the years. An actual stand up comedian.
He's a surfer. This guy's living the life. He spends
part of his time in Mexico, the whole, part of
his time in Vegas, part of his time in Southern California.
A actual comedian, Our buddy's surfer Todd the comedian, Hello Surfer.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Todd, what's happened in Big Ben?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Good to hear from your mom man, your epic joke
writer on the lame jokes of the week. And I'm
gonna give you some time here you need anything. I
assume you're doing comedy, yes, or something else?
Speaker 8 (26:20):
Oh yeah, I just want to say welcome to the
Ben Mallar Comedy Club.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
All right, here we go. The floor is yours. Our
next act in the Malor Plus At twenty twenty six
from Viva Las Vegas surfer Todd the Comedian.
Speaker 8 (26:33):
Did you hear that a major Hollywood director was arrested
at Los Angeles International Airport? Authorities ask him what business
he had there? He said he was there to shoot
a pilot. Wow, feel free to laugh. You guys just
need to get in here, all right. I've been a
professional surfer for fifteen years, but surfing's in a very
(26:55):
high paying sport. When I ended my career, I checked
my retirement. Let's just say my four one was not okay.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Calibunga.
Speaker 8 (27:06):
Uh, I'm a surfer and right now my doctor has
me on a strict seaweed diet. When I seaweed, I
smoke it.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
You get along very well.
Speaker 8 (27:16):
My name is Todd Bonnett. People have been calling me
TV since I was a kid. I got a brother, Kevin.
He's KB. That's KB and TV together. We're kickback and
take bong hits.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
There you go. Family, It's a family.
Speaker 8 (27:29):
When Liza was at her highest weight, she said if
she died, she wanted to be cremated. Talk about smoking
a fatty. My uncle Victor just opened a new business.
It's a combination vape shop slash massage parlor. He calls
it vix vape or rub.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Joke.
Speaker 8 (27:52):
My family's from the sticks in Indiana. I recently checked
my family history. I couldn't find it on ancestry dot com.
I did find it on ancestry dot com.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Wow, that was a thing. I know.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
You know what they say? What do they call a
person who has sex with a sandwich? They're actually considered inbred.
To end with this one, when Catholic priests had sex,
did you know that altar boys were not their first choice?
Altar boys were actually second to nuns. Are gonna whoop? Whoop?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Thank you, sir for Todd the comedian. All right, professional comedian.
He's been on stage doing those jokes, and we love him.
He's one of the great characters on the show.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Most people may have missed the last.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
One, probably did not hear the last one. We want
to keep our jobs a deal, Yes we do. So
winning dout, throw it out. I thought the jokes were funny. Again,
very tough to do comedies, It's very difficult. I thought,
he's a very funny man. I I like him, so
that affects my scoring. I'm gonna gi him a six.
Uh you want to go next, Lorena, We'll change up
the order a little bit.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (29:07):
I said he had a great variety of jokes between
dad jokes. He brought back some Lizzo jokes.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Love that.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I was gonna give him a five, all.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Right, solid five koop loop. I just score our buddy
surfer Todd.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I thought, you know, there was.
Speaker 11 (29:20):
It's really hard to make me laugh during a comedy routine, honestly,
unless you.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Know you're one of the unless you're drunk at a
comedy club, is right right, or or you're you know,
Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 11 (29:30):
Sure, but there was a few of those I laughed at.
I'm I'm gonna give it a seven.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Wow, seven, inca terror you're grade on our buddy surfer,
Todd the comedian.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I missed Lizzo. It was good to have her back.
So I'm going I'm going six.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Okay, solid six, very good, good job by you. Surfer
Todd our next to act up. As we continue to
play the hits here, you gotta get a lot of
acts in here. Got some very talented people that want
to be part of this. Let's say hello to a.
What do we have? Super Market Steve from southern California
is next. Hello, our buddy's supermarket Steu.
Speaker 7 (30:06):
All right quick, then mississip the d u y check
for the back in Michigan when my dad was a
big drinker and he taught me how to do it,
here we go z y x v u t s
r q p oh man o k.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
J i h g f b d c b A.
Speaker 7 (30:21):
Would be the wow, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Wow, can you do it one more time?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Are you drunk right now?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (30:29):
Oh, I'll do slower z y x w v u
t s r q p oh m n o kJ
i h g f b.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
D c v A.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
All right. That is a that's like a stupid human trick,
is what that is? Being able to do that.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Let's go to the judges scorecards on super market Steve
doing the alphabet. He's at the store right now working
doing the alphabet backwards. Originality. Not everyone can do that
it is certainly unique. Le I don't hear that very often.
It was quick.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Professional. Was it entertaining? I guess it depends how you
look at it. I'm gonna go six again. I'm gonna
go six. Let's go to incotar inco terror. Let me
putch up the right line here, incotaror how'd you score it? Incotar?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I mean those letters led into each other like it
was so professional. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I'm going seven, seven, okay, very good, Lorena.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
I love that if you got pulled over, you could
do it so well. I feel like you could do
it intoxicated, you could do it sober, you could do
it upside down on your head.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That was so good and so fast and so swift.
Speaker 10 (31:35):
You could work on your articulation a little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
But I'm gonna give you a five, five all right,
solid five? And what about you, Kopoloup?
Speaker 11 (31:41):
I'm impressed. I would like to know that he is drunk,
and I want to hear it again drunk. But yeah,
I've never heard that before.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Those good.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I'm gonna give the a six, all right, So super MARKO.
Steve does the alphabet backwards. I can't do that I
can barely do it forwards. All right. That's our next
act on the Mallet Plus at twenty twenty six, and man,
I'm looking forward to talking to him. He's very active
on social media. This is the guy that made the
Banoit Benjamin documentary that's on YouTube about the nineteen eighties
nineties clipper Benoit Benjamin. His name is Sean Ge and
(32:13):
he is up next. Hello Sean, Welcome, Hello Ben, Hello Ben,
Good to have you here. You've got a song that
you were debating whether to do it live or to
send in a recorded version. I liked it. You're gonna
do it live. That's pretty cool. And so do you
need anything? You're good to go get your studio. You're
all set up, Yes, I'm all set up.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Without further ado, the Ballad of Benoit Benjamin.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Here we go. This is from our friend Sean Ge
in southern California on the Malapalooza twenty twenty six, his mother, child.
Speaker 8 (32:47):
And labor for one long week. He was a sleep
joyes STPs.
Speaker 6 (33:07):
No advent man.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
When he dissed the court people thinking of the care pubic.
Speaker 8 (33:23):
True, he does this space just does.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Stares into space.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Call it ben.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Jock, I'll retire to child.
Speaker 7 (33:52):
Over five hundred k according.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
To the.
Speaker 8 (34:05):
Just Forgot.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah, there is our buddy, Sean Gee from southern California.
I liked it. I don't know the rate has no
idea who Pannoyd Benjamin is. I'm sure, and I think
I think Coop might even be too young to know
who Pannoyd Benjamin is. But I'm old enough. And I
interviewed Benoit a few times back at the end of
his career, and I love the fact that you did
(34:35):
that for him. I thought it was good. Uh, the
quality was not the greatest unfortunately. Uh that's you know.
I don't know what happened there. You're in a studio,
but for some reason it overmodulated a little bit, which
is unfortunate. So there wasn't a lot of polish on it.
It was it was nice. I liked it. For me,
it was cool. I'm gonna give you a six and
(34:57):
a half. I'll I'll give you a six and a half.
What about you, Lorraina.
Speaker 10 (35:01):
You know, I do love live music, but this one
went right over my head. Like you said, it was
very pixelated, over modulated. Cadn't hear a lot of the lyrics,
I gotta give you a four.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Four wow, very rude? All right, coop a little go
ahead there, cool please.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I appreciate you know, custom lyrics.
Speaker 11 (35:17):
I always like that, but I did think that the
melody of the custom lyrics could have flowed a little
bit better.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Uh, I'm gonna go ahead and give it a six.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
All right, you guys are all jerks. Let's find out
six and a half half point that I do. That's
a big half point. In guit terror the classically trained
pianist from New York incotar, how did you score? Seanjee
a tribute to Benoit.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I mean, I can't sing and play at the same time.
That's a that's a hard skill. I liked his low notes.
I mean they kind of growled and they were sort
of appropriately placed given the words so at, which we
call song painting in classical music. I'm giving it a
five and a half.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
All right, five minute shangie. Thank you so much. Everyone
go when you have a Chanceti'll do it now because
we do the show. But Sean, I'm not gonna be
if you remember Benoit Benjamin, Sean tracked him down and
interviewed Benoit, and he did a whole thing on YouTube,
so you can check that out if you want the
Ballad of Benoit. I believe it's called the Ballad of Benoit.
All Right, So mallat Pallusa twenty twenty six. Up next,
straight ahead, Kathy in Madison. Oh my god, Kathy in
(36:22):
Madison is up next. We'll get to her and we
will do it.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Next.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It is the Ben Maler Show. The Mallard Palusa twenty
twenty six continues. You can hear this show live on
the stream on Fox Sports Radio channel, on the iHeartRadio app,
and the Ben Maler Show podcast, Fifth Hour Podcast, all
of it available mixture to have that iHeartRadio app on
your device, you can always hear the show wherever you are.
All right, right back to it. Our next act on
the Malla Palusa twenty twenty six, We now go to
(36:57):
our friend in Madison, Wisconsin, and that would be Kathy
in Madison. As she is ready to go. She's the
Hey mona woman and she is not able to do
this live. So we have Kathy who sent this in
a little earlier, and we now go to the legend
(37:17):
of malor Palooza gone by. Here's Kathy and Madison.
Speaker 9 (37:49):
Wold, what a voice, goddess. Stop port Cappy, come on solo,
(38:15):
she got skills?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Wow? Wow? Oh no, sure, come.
Speaker 8 (38:58):
All right?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
There she is Kathy in Madison, a fan favorite, and
I love that. Kathy took my advice and she had
sent some songs in after hey mon, if you didn't
really sing? And I liked that she returned to the vocals.
Very nice there, Kathy in Madison, Inka terror. Would you
like to score that? How'd you score it? Inca terra?
Speaker 7 (39:22):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I just I have no words. I'm speechless. But it
was amazing. She's outdone herself. And for that alone, I'm
giving her an eight and a half.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Wow, unbelievable. Alright, I will go next. It was entertaining,
it was unforgettable, and I thought, based on my scorecard,
I'm gonna give Kathy. I think she's great. I really
love her. I'm gonna give her two. What about you, Lorena?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
What?
Speaker 3 (40:01):
That was so good?
Speaker 10 (40:02):
That might have been the most seductive rendition of that
song I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
It knocked my socks off.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Kathy that was so good, you get an eight?
Speaker 1 (40:11):
I hate Oh my god. All right, Coopolo, please next up.
But it's Malapalooza twenty twenty six. This is Kathy and Madison.
Speaker 11 (40:19):
Despite what others may think, I think Kathy has improved
every year that she has done this sound show.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
You're talking about. I have no idea, and I think,
you know, I was.
Speaker 11 (40:30):
I was gonna give this like an eight like everybody else,
But I'm pretty sure there were some vocal effects on there,
and I think that's a little like, you know, technology,
So I'm going to give it a two.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Oh you agree with me, You agree with me.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
You should be impressed. She can use it. She was
very good, but it was a two. It's you know,
it's a two is better than zero.
Host
Ben Maller
Popular Podcasts
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.