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March 6, 2026 40 mins

Ben Maller talks about the upcoming return of Jayson Tatum to the Celtics and if this will lead to a 'Celtics are better without Tatum' conversation, Doc Rivers planning to retire as coach of the Bucks, Cal-State Bakersfield's basketball coach working as a pimp, Lame Jokes of the Week, and more!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Playball.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's our numb birth three, as we continue throwing audio
haymakers like the octagon back in hour one, it's a
time honor tradition. Here an hour three, it's pro bouncy ball.
Is this the beginning of the Celtics are better without?
Jason Tatum conversation as he prepares to return to return

(00:22):
to the lineup there in Boston. Also Doc Rivers planning
to retire as coach of the box. Who's dumb enough
to buy this? And how does this cow State Bakersfield
pimp story hit you?

Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's a wild one. We'll take a stroll through the
park and take.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
A bite out of all of that. Right now, it's
our number three, the Green Team Dream. Welcome in the
beginning of another.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Hour of the Ben Malor Show. We are in.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
The air evy ware as we are marshalled together and
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Speaker 1 (02:41):
So we go to pro bouncy Ball. That is our
lead story this hour.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
One of the bright stars is expected to shine again.
As we're doing this here early on Friday tonight. If
you didn't hear about it, maybe not. We've learned that
the Celtic superstar Jason Tatum is expect to make his
season debut against the mav Rex and that'll take place

(03:08):
at the Garden there tonight in Boston. Tatum's return will
be less than ten months after Snapcrackle Pop to the
Achilles Tendon. Now Boston, led by Jalen Brown, who is
a MVP candidate, not the favorite, but an MVP candidate,
has the Celtics in second place. I believe there is

(03:28):
still in second place there in the Eastern Conference standings.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
So there is some noise. There's some noise there.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
And we had a caller the other day from Maine
who brought this up and it's like, oh, come on,
it's ridiculous, and there's some things being tossed out in
the echo chamber that Jason Tatum's return is going to be.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
A body blow, body blow to the Celtics.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Here, their lineup and he's going to mess. I love
this with the quote teen chemistry close quote. It's gonna
be a problem here. So that is a good jumping
off point. Let us discuss the question.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
And we're just gonna We're gonna lean into this spare
with me.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Is this the beginning of the Celtics are better off
without Jason Tatum conversation he's returning the lineup?

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Is this the beginning of, Hey.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
The Celtics are just better off without Jason Tatum? Is
this the conversation? So I my take on this, I've
got political campaign, CTN and AMC theaters and we will
combine all of.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
These things together and we are going to have.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
An amazing, amazing plate of Teriokey chicken. All right. So
to tip off, though, you better believe I don't agree
with this, but you better.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Believe the Whisper campaign it's already out there.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
You know.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
We had the guy call up the other day, as
I said, and ranting about this topic. And now it's
bouncing all over the place. But it isn't Tatum, who
has not even laced it up in a real game,
hasn't put the sneakers on playing in the real.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Game as we're doing this, and already the.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Industrial complex of hot take artists is pounding the drum
like it's panic.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
At the disco night at the Garden like, this is
not a real problem. You know what this is for
the Celtics.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
It is a champagne problem. So you're telling me the
team's overachieved. It wasn't just Tatum they got rid of.
They got rid of a bunch of guys. Porzingis who's
always heard in average al Al Horford, he left and
Drew Holliday.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
They got a real bunch of guys. They got to
a bunch of guys.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
And so.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
It's this is a good thing. If Boston stumbles and
there will be some losses, there's only a Most teams
have about less than twenty games to go in this season,
and Boston's gonna lose a couple of games they shouldn't lose.
But the moment they stumble a little bit with Tatum
in there, the finger pointing is going to begin. Immediately,

(06:01):
point the finger at your Jason, point the finger. Welcome
to the NBA ecosystem. And I was trying to think,
does this happen anywhere else? Does this happen in the NFL?
When your star quar quarterback has hurt, your backup goes in,
you win a couple of games to peep, well, you
shouldn't change the quarterback Well, yeah, quarterback A is ten

(06:21):
times better than quarterback B though, But I know in
basketball it's like a political campaign. You're always one bad
game away from a absolute smear campaign. Just mud slinging
and all that. Now for me and I don't have
a dog in the fight. The bigger issue with this story,

(06:43):
and it's been this way for the last fifteen years
or so, the issue I have with this is the
dreaded minutes restriction theater, which the Celtics will be taking
part in.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
The word is that Tatum.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
They're gonna roll him out with training wheel on no
back to backs, limit minutes. They're gonna limit the amount
of time he's on the court. He's going to be
treated like he's an artifact at a museum. They're gonna
put him behind glass. And this is one of my
big pet peeves with the modern zeitgeist in sports, and

(07:18):
basketball more than the other sports.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
It really gets.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Under my skin here. The minutes restriction in basketball is
voodoo science is what it is. You're either ready to
play and you can play, or you're not ready to play.
It's like are you pregnant or not pregnant? Either you're
pregnant and you could have a baby if the pregnancy

(07:45):
goes all the way through, or you're not pregnant.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
But either way, there's not a lot of gray area here.
So that's always been my point.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
So the crowd, and I've never had someone explain to me,
never had someone explain to me the logic behind the
minutes restriction.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
So let me get this straight.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
So if Tatum, let's say he comes out, plays twenty
five minutes, everything is sunshine, rainbows and lollipops. Everyone gets
a lolli. If Tatum plays twenty seven minutes, suddenly his
achilles goes kaboom and it'll look like lumpy cauliflower.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Is that what we're supposed to believe?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Is that how this works? Am I getting it right?
It's medical guess work dressed up as strategy and nobody
knows anything.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Is vodoo bugaloo.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Is what it is? All right? Now?

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Furthermore, a long standing punching bag on this show.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
We have not done many of these monologues about this
guy in a number of years, but we go to Milwaukee.
The word is that Glen Rivers, better known as a doc.
He's as much a doc as Doc Mike in Chicago.
So we're hearing now that Doc Rivers is planning to
retie as coach of the Milwaukee Bucks. Our former Fox

(09:04):
Sports radio morning host Stephen Smith, you know what he's
doing now.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
For some reason, he uses his middle initial because his
name is Stephen Smith.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Anyway, Doc, he said, Doc Rivers is going to retire
at the end of this season. He's been coaching for
almost twenty five years and that will be all. She
wrote for Glenn Rivers. So the question, the report that
Doc Rivers plans to retire as coach of the Milwaukee Bucks.
Who is dumb enough to buy this? Anyone want to

(09:36):
raise their hands? I'm looking, I'm looking to the I'm
looking to the right. I don't see any hands raised.
I'm looking. I think there might be one guy in
the middle of the back, and then I don't see
anyone of the left. So yeah, you would have to
have a brain made out of playdough, playdough to believe

(09:58):
this Doc is not tiring.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
What Doc Rivers is doing is evacuating the.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Building in Milwaukee before the roof comes crashing down and collapses.
It's the old CTN maneuver. What is this CTN, mover,
I'm not talking about the Christian Television Network. CTN is
controlling the narrative. You gotta control the narrative. You gotta
be out ahead of the narrative. If you say, hey,
I quit, I'm a quitter, which is what he's doing,

(10:28):
everyone looks down upon you.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh, you shouldn't quit. You shouldn't be a quitter.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
You shouldn't do that. Yeah, the mystery comes in if
you say, well, listen, I'm gonna retire, because then everyone's like, oh,
all sins are forgiven again.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
If you quit, you look like a failure. If you retire,
we're all good.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Milwaukee hired Doc Rivers like he was gonna be magical
duct tape or some kind of glue to fix the
oaken thing of a jig and the dow Hickey that
wasn't working. There were some concerns that Yannis was going
to be able or was planning to leave, even a

(11:09):
couple of years ago. And it's like, well, we got
to make sure, Yanna says, so let's hire Doc Rivers.
Don't worry. Doc Rivers is a people person. He's lovable.
Doc Rivers. He's got the Svengali effect. And he'll smooth
things over with Yannis. Yeah, how do you like them apples?
How'd that work out? So the team has been operating

(11:31):
in Milwaukee like a Golden Corral buffet where the staff
has gone home and all that is left is some
cold mashed potatoes. That's it. They're not even garlic mashed potatoes.
They're just cold mashed potatoes. And he's been essentially a
five hundred coach in Milwaukee. No playoff series wins, no bite, nothing,

(11:54):
and Yannis is planning to leave. Meanwhile, Yannis is scrolling
Zillow right now, looking at condos in.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Miami, and he's like, I mean, let me see what's.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Going on in New York. Maybe I get a place
on the upper east Side, get a place I want
a view of Central Park? Do Maybe I don't want
to damn more lower. I don't know. Maybe I live
in the village.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
So he's looking and so the Bucks have been dealing
with Doc Rivers not upgrading the team in terms of
their performance, and once the Greek Creek enters the transfer portal,
which is expected to be this summer, the Bucks will
go from.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Fear the Deer to road killed deer where.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Sir scratch Off is going to drive over to I
ninety four, pick that up and have that for dinner.
That's good eating, Sir scratch Offf's going to say that deer,
that's good eating. So he's got Doc Rivers channeling his
favorite cartoon as a kid, Looney Tunes, Porky Pig. That's
all folks, And then that's it, and so Doc will

(12:58):
then slide back.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
To the boob tube.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
He'll do some bad TV because they can't seem to
find anyone that knows what they're doing. The broadcast NBA
games over there, it's a hot mess. So he'll do TV,
pretend like nothing happened. And then he's just gonna sit
there and.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Wait for the next billionaire Oli gark who's dumb, du dumb, dumb.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Dumb and says, oh, I like the way Doc does
that TV, Let's hire him as our coach. He's a
championship coach. And again, the single most amazing championship in
my life. It is not the Toronto Raptors. Many people
say the Toronto Raptors because that team should never win
right there, Toronto. No, the team that is the most shocking,

(13:41):
the Doc Rivers coached Boston Celtics back in eight with
Paul Pierce. The fact that that team overcame Doc Rivers
to win a championship. What a testimonial to Ray Allen
and Paul Pierce and all those guys, Kevin Garnett and
all those guys in Boston.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
All right, last thing.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I didn't think this was going to be on my
radar when I went to bed last night. But we
go now to or actually not last night, yesterday d'ur
in the morning, we go to Bakersfield, California, home of
a legendary Mallard meet and greet hosted by the Ambassador
of Bakersfield. Rod had a great time there with Rod
and his wife, had a funder one fun little get together,
had a nice dinner, great restaurant there in Bakersfield. Then

(14:22):
went out and we burned up and we had That
was the game Air Force. Andrew showed up at got
kicked out by the second inning, and then snuck back
in and got kicked out again. Yeah, I was a
wild night, wild night, and Bakersfield threw out the first
pitch team went out of business.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Anyway, why are we going to Bakersfield College? Basket will
you see the story. This is a humdinger of a story,
a hum dinger for story.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
So Kevin Mays not Billy May's Hi, Billy May's here. No,
this is Kevin Mays. I just realized that Billy masling
doesn't work. He's been dead for a while. And I
don't think anyone who's under the ag toil like thirty
even knows who Billy Mays is. But whatever, So Kevin
Mays no relation a former assistant coach for cal State

(15:09):
Bakersfield the road Runners. That's right. For the first time ever,
we are doing a Mallard monologue on cal State Bakersfield basketball.
The Fox Sports Radio network has now reached a new low.
How low can you go? Well, this is a good
story and it has to be a good story for
us to talk about. So Kevin May's cow State Bakersfield

(15:30):
basketball was a trending topic. It went viral on social media.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
So if you didn't see this.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Maybe you're not on social media. Good for you. You're
a better person. It went viral because this guy had
a side hustle. Yeah, so what do you think this
guy was doing? What do you think do you think
he was selling crypto on the side and that was
illegal or something like that. Maybe he had a lollipop
business that he was doing. Was he selling illegal sports

(15:59):
merchant out of the back of his station wagon?

Speaker 4 (16:03):
No?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah. According to the local police, they the allegation is
that Kevin May's former assistant coach at cal State Bakersfield,
was moonlighting trying to make some extra money as a pimp. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Let me repeat that. A pimp, p I m p pimp?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
All right, question, So how does this cal State Bakersfield
coach working as a pimp? Story hit you? So I
saw this and I left it to the side. I
was like, okay, that that's not real, that's satire. He's
another one of these moments where I was like, Okay,

(16:47):
that's NBA sentel. They haven't done anything in a while,
so that's NBA sentel that I thought it was my
buddy Sports Talk Barry, who I had on the podcast.
I thought maybe the Sports Talk Barry. Is it butt
Crack Sports? Are they still around? No? No, it's not them.
Who could it be? And then I was like, wait
a minute, this is popping up in the mainstream here.

(17:10):
What is going on?

Speaker 1 (17:13):
And it's the real deal? Big West?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Now Cal State Bakers who plays in the Big West.
So Big West, big pimp. That is where we are now.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
So the story hit me.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I wanted to go to an AMC theater and get
a big bucket of popcorn. I want to get a
big bucket of popcorn extra butter. I'm pretty sure the
people over at Netflix are already bidding on the rights
to the docu series.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
I can think of the name like.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Baker's Field, Hustle, Secrets behind the Scoreboard, Coaching and crime
collide in the shadows.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
And according to the report, this guy Mays is.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
The allegation is he was operating a multi state pimp
ring for states California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington. So I'm
sorry to Idaho, New Mexico. You guys didn't get any
of his services. And that is more than a sidehot.
So that's like the entire Big West conference schedule multitasking.

(18:16):
Some some coaches like to run the zone defense. Other
coaches like to run Internet, not Internet like interstate commerce.
I guess it was probably on the Internet too, so
that is a new wrinkle. The transfer portal takes a
whole new meeting for this guy, and in his case,
nil stands for now. It's ladies apparently now it's much

(18:40):
different than name, image likeness.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
That is gonna be one hell of a docu series.
That is gonna be good.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
So this guy he got hired as a low level assistant.
They did a background check on him. That must have
been impressive. That's that's pretty good. All right.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
It is the Beann Mallards shoh as we roll on.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
If you'd like to be part, you can join us
right now on the phones eight seven seven line open
eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. Also on X
at Ben Mahlor that's at Ben Maller and we'll take
your comments, your calls and all that. If you want
to answer the Mallard Riddle of the day, and you
can still vote if you heard earlier on the verbal Lochtey,
I'm Lucky Tony and blind Scott, you can vote on

(19:23):
that on X and try to retreat that. Get that
out and get that going. We have many more votes.
You're in the day with the podcast crowd, but we'll
have the people overnight voting for right now and figure
out who the winner is of that spur of the
moment verbal Octagon time Now though, for the malor, a
riddle of the day, and we'll blame jokes later this hour.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
But here's the riddle of the day.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Jackson Dart recently said that Blank is way worse with
the New York Giants than in college at old Mess,
Old Mess again. Jackson Dart, that's a quarterback, said that
Blank is way worse with the Giants in the NFL
than in college. Dgit, Old Miss.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
That is the malord riddle of the day. The answer,
we'll get to it. We will do it next.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 6 (20:17):
Hey, it's Rob Parker and Kelvin Washington from The Odd
Couple on Fox Sports Radio.

Speaker 7 (20:22):
And in addition to hearing us live weeknights from seven
to ten pm Eastern on Fox Sports Radio, we are
excited to announce brand new YouTube channel for the show.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
That's right, You can now watch The Odd Couple live
on YouTube every day.

Speaker 7 (20:37):
All you gotta do search Odd Couple FSR on YouTube
again YouTube, Just search Odd Couple FSR, check us out
on YouTube and subscribe.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Were Women the work of the Great Jay Schools dominating

(21:33):
his new pursuit wear at him.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
I gotta say anything unless he.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Gives him the green light.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
There, but Jay Scoop weeping over mountains at this point.
Sad for him.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
It is I Bill Miller, you are locking on the
Bend Mather Show. I know you're on pins and needles
for the payoff on the Mallard Riddle of the Day.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
We'll get to that in a moment.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
You can call in eighty seven seven ninety nine on
five eight seven, seven nine nine six six three sixty nine,
also on x at Bend Malor follow the show, follow
the Ben Malors Show account.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Otherwise we will not be reading your comments on the er.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
It's easy to.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Cook the follow button there, and you can even.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Turn on notifications because occasionally on the weekends we drop
a Malor staple ask band the social media edition. You
only find out about that if you have the notifications.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
On, otherwise you might miss it.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
So and I don't send that many messages out anyway,
so check that out.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
The rain is here as well.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
FSR Tech, Queen My Bell No Talking and Koubloop the
Bronco Fan and moh Bronco Fan that's a Bronco fan.
Your comments can and will be used against you. Back
to us all back to where we go here and
the payoff on the riddle of today. We have lame
jokes of the week coming up a little bit later

(22:52):
in the hour, but first the riddle of the day.
The quarterback Jackson Dart said that Blank is way worse
with the Giants than in college at Old miss That's
what we said, So.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
That's the questions complaining.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
He said, this is actually better when I was in
college in the Southeastern Conference at Mississippi than in the NFL.
So what is the answer? We go to the Hoy
paloi here the great Unwashed on X and again that's
at Ben Mahllor. That's at Ben Maller. If you want
to send an answer into these bits, Scrooge said, the

(23:33):
drugs is the answer. Courtesy Flusher claims the jails are better,
and Mississippi the grits and the hushpuppies. Those grits don't
look very good, but the Late Night directs us to
the hushpuppies. Outstanding Eke in Roseville, Minnesota said the parking spots.

(23:55):
Keith Oho texto says that Jackson Dark claimed, the hookers
and low are better in the college world. What else
we have a male strippers? Who would want to see
any of those guys? These guys strip. That's from Fergdok.
That's quite the motley crew that you put together. The
number of pimps from FEMI the top Uber, each delivery

(24:20):
driver there in the Greater Minneapolis said Twin Cities Area.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Twin Cities Area King Rory.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
The Homeless Camps Donkey Sausage went with hookers, the aroma
of the locker room, the aroma of the locker room
from Alf the Alien opiner, players cafeteria from Steve the
misplaced Sandy Agen.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Who else we have?

Speaker 2 (24:42):
The attendance from Johnny Q, the massive rats from Trucker Joe.
You gotta have a fall guy, Gunner said the pimps.
That's Gunner from the Walmart in northern Minnesota, just below
the Canadian border.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
JT.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
The Wingman says, games of co ed Twister, Chili from
Philler Up Phil that's his answer. Ryan in San Diego says,
the stink of New York is the answer.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Who else you have?

Speaker 2 (25:10):
That's the page down the Valet parking way worse, that's
from Mike the Leprechaun. That's his answer. Who else you have?

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Page down up Lorraina, do you have an answer?

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Jackson Dart, that's a quarterback, said recently that Blank is
way worse with.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
The giants in the NFL than in college at Ole,
miss The cafeteria food.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
The cafeteria food. That would be a fine answer. No, no, no, no.
Jackson Dart said that the travel is worse.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
The travel is worse. He said, yeah, what's up with
that man?

Speaker 4 (25:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
He said that one of the big things about being
in college name image and lightness. That he had a
deal with a private jet company in Oxford, Mississippi, and
so that means he had access as a college football
player to a fleet of seven private jets, seven of them,

(26:11):
and so he would travel around on private jets. But
now he's in the NFL. So when he travels he well,
the team obviously travels charter, but when he's traveling around
on his own, he does not have the access to that.
And he was recently spotted flying economy. Oh my god,
can we do a wellness check? Dart was spotted flying economy.

(26:33):
My god, I can't believe it.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Shocker, How did he survive. How did Jackson?

Speaker 2 (26:40):
He should write a book, I Survived Flying Economy, an
amazing tale, A tale of survival. Honestly, I feel like
a survivor every time I get off an economy flight,
which is all I've ever flown my whole life. So yeah, yeah,
well I also fly only the economy. I've only sat
in class a couple of times. One was because the

(27:02):
people I was working with paid for it, and the
other time I got upgraded because the flight. You know
how they offer those deals, hey that we need people
to take the vow. Take the next flight.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
We'll give you five hundred dollars in first class.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yeah. Actually, when I was going to Hawaii to get married,
we we got that deal. So we got vouchers for
oh exactly, we got a couple hundred bucks and first
class on the next flight. Okay, I'll take you.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah. But other than that, no, anyway, let's get to
the calls and let's see her any Meani miny mode.
Let's go to E Dog, who's back.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
He's on Long Island in New York. Hello, e Dog, Welcome.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
I hate what's going on.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
I'm talking. I'm doing a.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
Show, all right, just show up my uh chance, I
got a warrior.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Lame jokes are later this hour though they're not right now.

Speaker 4 (28:05):
I know, but I'm not going to be on so
I'm going to tell you right now. Here's the joke.
They would there was a there was a fight on
the one line railroad. Okay to conductor punched the ticket.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Anyway, that's what's going on. What's going on with what's
going on with Melissa?

Speaker 4 (28:27):
Everything?

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Okay, everything Melissa, everything around.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
She's sick a little bit. She called me up today
and send them naked. I said, send me a picture.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Well, that's great when she's sick to ask her for
a picture like that.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, classy, it's a good distraction.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
What's that?

Speaker 1 (28:44):
It's a good distraction.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yeah sure, But uh I still like I'm still dating
Irene a little bit. I mean are and uh Kay
is on the prow. I'm gonna go with her. Christmas
is good, Elizabeth is good? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Did you have a good pure?

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Did you have some fun this week? Or no it's
some uh some good pastries and all that, or.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
No not really? No they got as I gotta ask
you a question. Why how does Lance the bus driver.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
Is doing.

Speaker 4 (29:18):
Well?

Speaker 2 (29:18):
I'm not his dad or his mom. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
He hasn't he hasn't called him.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
The Shore's cheaper.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
No, why would that name come That's a random name
to come up. Why would you bring that name up?

Speaker 4 (29:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Lance is in San Francisco, like you know, you remember?

Speaker 5 (29:37):
Does he does?

Speaker 4 (29:38):
He sing the song the wheels on the bus go around,
then round, around, then round. Anyway, how do you're on
the air.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
You're on the air. I'm the only one allowed to
sing those those songs. You can't sing well you you're
stealing my material? Eat dog? Why are you doing that?

Speaker 4 (29:57):
Because you're the best, look.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
You know, and the best means as good as all
the rest.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
By the way, I have an uncle. That's good.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Yeah. Anyway, how about how about you want to sing
some other songs?

Speaker 1 (30:11):
You want to do some some nursery.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
Rhymes, Ruba Jamaica. Ooh, I want to take your from you.

Speaker 8 (30:18):
You know.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
That's not his.

Speaker 4 (30:25):
You gotta do the macarena all the time?

Speaker 2 (30:31):
This is These are not no no, no, no, no no,
you're just making these up here.

Speaker 9 (30:35):
These twinkle twinkle little star probably, but I used to
date this so siddy, right, Yeah, I'm sure she was
a color underwear, that's what kind?

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Brown?

Speaker 4 (30:49):
No lapers? What lewards?

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Leopard?

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Okay, all right, good for all right.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
In Antonio, man see, you don't have anything that when
you bring up the Spurs, e dog, you have nothing
to say, right, you don't know, you.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Don't want to talk about the Spurs. You don't care
about the Spurs.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
I can't talk about the Knicks though, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
The Knicks are fine. They have a good record.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
They'll be in the playoffs and they'll have a high seed,
and then they'll lose in the second round and then
we'll be that.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Now you're not gonna malluse this, then I'm gonna tell
you this anyway. Okay, whenever I talk about the Knicks,
so where Nick's outfits they lose.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Well, you should stop doing that. Though someone somebody, somebody
wants to somebody wants to talk to you.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Do you want to talk to him?

Speaker 4 (31:39):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (31:40):
All right? All right, hold on put it Steve in Manhattan,
Steven Manhattan, will go Manhattan, long eye Steve Salo to
eat dog, Steven Manhattan.

Speaker 8 (31:50):
Oh Steve, Hey, what's up?

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Dog? Good? I gotta I got a good joke for
you real quick. Not a joke. But I want to
tell you something. I have a I have a friend
in the in Manhattan, you know, Yeah, And you got
to try to get what favorite football team he watches?

Speaker 8 (32:10):
Is he originally from Long Island?

Speaker 4 (32:11):
He's probably a Jet fan. Wrong, Lions? Now what do
you want to talk to me there?

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Steve?

Speaker 8 (32:21):
I think the gallant I think he was was telling
a little bit of a fid there. But the Lions,
that's the team that's never won a Super Bowl. It's interesting,
isn't it.

Speaker 4 (32:32):
Yeah, they had a good running back and man, Marry
Sanders though he was pretty good.

Speaker 8 (32:37):
Who was his the guy before him?

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Who was pretty good?

Speaker 4 (32:42):
From where?

Speaker 8 (32:44):
Who was the running back before Barry Sanders?

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Who was pretty good?

Speaker 8 (32:47):
He had but he only had a five year, six
year career.

Speaker 4 (32:50):
I don't know. Tell me, Billy, Billy Simms.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
From this is not going the way I was hoping
it was going to go.

Speaker 8 (33:00):
Well, what do you want to say the guy? He
don't sounds like he just woke up. Man.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Okay, dog.

Speaker 8 (33:08):
Doing jumping jacks?

Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah? Can you do some jumping jack? Can you do
some jumping jacks? Sure?

Speaker 4 (33:15):
I'm not getting pistol. We tell you that one we
should do the saves from misbehaving.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Wow, okay, all right, all in hold and I'm moving
on and thank you. I might go back to Steven Manhattan.
We'll see. It depends on my mood. I don't know
if I'll do it. He might hang up and he's
got nothing else to do, so he'll probably stay right there.
All right, straight ahead, He's gonna get even better.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Big Bens Lame.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Jokes of the week, all the best singers, all the
best one liners from the week.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners to the show.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
They will be sending them in. How freaking exciting is
this going to be Big Bens lame Jokes the week?
You will be absolutely flabbergasted, and you might even be
a little sick to your stomach.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
We'll get to that and we will.

Speaker 8 (34:07):
Do it.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
Next.

Speaker 5 (34:10):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Maler Show
with the Lame Jokes of the Week coming up.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Momentarily, I got this message from Doc Dan and he's like, hey,
you know what's going on. You're getting covered up by
this thing and I was like, oh, man, but he
has the iHeartRadio app, so he can always hear the
show Sam with Eileen in San Francisco. Sometimes get covered
up because of postgame Golden State Warrior programming, And you

(34:42):
can always find this show whatever town you're in, out
in the boondocks, if you have reception, can get on
the app, the iHeartRadio app. You can hear the Ben
Maler Show on the Fox Sports Radio channel. It is
streaming every night all night on that Fox Sports Radio channel.
And you can hear the Ben Maler Show podcast, the

(35:02):
Fifth Hour Podcast. My buddy Robbie, old broadcaster for the
Twins and the Pirates back in the day, and he'll
be joining me on the Fifth Hour podcast.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
So check that out.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
iHeartRadio App, Ben Mallor Show Podcast, Fifth Hour Podcast.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Back to it, Knock Knock, Who's there?

Speaker 5 (35:23):
Blame Weed?

Speaker 4 (35:23):
Blame week too.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
It's Big Ben's lame Joke of the week. Lame jokes,
lame jokes of the week.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. Afraid the music
down a little bit?

Speaker 1 (35:34):
There we go, all right now, Weed man, I had
to wake you up.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
Weed Man.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
I'm gonna contact hr.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I'm gonna contact hr weed Man?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
What is up with that? Weed Man? How dare you?

Speaker 8 (35:45):
No?

Speaker 4 (35:45):
You didn't wear me up? And I was just calling.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
No, you, I know when someone's sleeping in the answer
the phone.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Just admit it.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
It's okay.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
You were sleeping.

Speaker 8 (35:56):
It happened.

Speaker 6 (35:58):
He's just calling, right, Okay, Yeah, I just worked with
the guy, just worked at the clock and it was
four point thirty and I was just waiting a couple
of minutes more.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Okay, all right, all right, so you were not listening.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
You admit you were not listing.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
Yeah, oh no, I wasn't.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
Look.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Okay, here we go, weed Man.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
SpongeBob square Pants sent this one in he says, why
did weed Man get fired from the landscaping company? Why
because when asked to pull the weeds, he smoked them instead.

Speaker 6 (36:40):
Let's spoke them.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
I wonder if SpongeBob smokes seaweed h I will have
to ask him next time he calls.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Who is weed Man's least favorite coach crew a job coach?

Speaker 2 (36:54):
That's Eric in Kansas, who also said, Hey Ben, what
does weed man do for spring cleaning?

Speaker 1 (37:03):
What he empties the ashtrays?

Speaker 6 (37:06):
He's where the area is at?

Speaker 8 (37:08):
Were young?

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Do you still have your latest ring for mister irrigation
weed Man?

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Dude, great, you haven't lost it yet? Okay, good? What
can what can weed Man remember the next time life
gets hard? What at least I'm not blind? Scott?

Speaker 1 (37:28):
That's Noah.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Set thee in. I know, Genie. Why is weed Man
so good at opera? Why you love the high notes?
You love him weed Man? Mike the Lfritan. Why did
weed Man stop dropping acid? Why the die hard broke

(37:52):
three of his toes? I said Terry in St. Paul.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Kathy and Madison sent this one, and she's a big
fan weed Man.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Kathy and Madison big fan of Hey, did you know
or do you know rather why Miami police kept throwing
weed Man in jail?

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Why they wanted to hear him laugh in person? Says Kathy.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Well, a lot of people know this, but apparently weed
Man is going to Ireland for Saint Patty's he Why
is weed Man going to Ireland for St Patty?

Speaker 7 (38:32):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (38:33):
Wow? Why?

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Well, because the grass is always greener over there. That's
from Mike the Lepica.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
What is the what is the difference between a slow
cooker and weed Man. What one's a crock pot and
the others a crackpot. That's from this next one's from
Lucky Tony. He said, what happened when weed Man fell
asleep during his doctor visit? What apparently you woke up

(39:07):
with a thermometer in your mouth and a for some reason,
there was a breath mint in your took us. I
don't know why.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
That's our Lucky Tony.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Do you hear that weed Man is worried about losing
an hour of beauty sleep this week? You know it's
daylight savings time? Yeah, yeah, Sun Sunday and yeah, two
in the morning turns an hour ahead unless you're in
like Arizona or Indiana.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, yeah, the phone will do it.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
You got the Obama phone, right, you're good on that.
You're good on that.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yeah, but what do you You're worried though about losing
an hour beauty sleep? Do you hear about that?

Speaker 4 (39:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, apparently you know you said you thought that you're
you're gonna try not to get ahead of your of yourself.
That's Tom in Indiana.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
Your time?

Speaker 2 (39:56):
What do you call? These are some other jokes Surfer Todd,
the comedian in multi time lame joke right of the year.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
What do you call a narcoleptic terrorist? What a sleeper cell?

Speaker 4 (40:09):
What?

Speaker 1 (40:10):
What's Hollering james favorite type of study? What sleep study?
Eric in Kansas?

Speaker 8 (40:17):
What?

Speaker 1 (40:18):
What game will blind Scott never be able to play?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
What I spy?

Speaker 1 (40:24):
That's Noah in Awesome?

Speaker 2 (40:28):
How does Hollering James know his viagra is at least
working five days a week? The pizza guy tells him
that's a lucky Tony.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Uh, that's the guy I went in there you go,
all right? What's what's Marcelle's favorite football position?

Speaker 2 (40:43):
What blocker? That's Mike the Leprechaun.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
And there you go.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Big Ben's lame jokes in the week. Fag you eat men,
Go back to bed, Go you were sleeping. It's okay,
go back to bed.
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Host

Ben Maller

Ben Maller

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