April 17, 2026 • 29 mins
Ben Maller clocks back into the audio sweatshop, firing up the Fifth Hour remote studio to chronicle the great “Calling Dick” saga — a full-blown hostage negotiation to get the legendary Dick in Dayton a ride to the Maller Meet & Greet in Cincinnati. Will he make it, or is this another transportation cold case? Plus, Ben serves up a crispy Maller Monologue on the origin of the high five — from Dodger lore to playground betrayal (“too slow!”). It’s road trips, radio legends, and random history, all mashed together in classic, off-the-rails Fifth Hour fashion.
Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/grpodcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837
#BenMaller
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutboobs.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler,
As we are hanging out together here on a Friday.
It is the seventeenth day of April. We are in
the audio dojo. Was I at my post last night? No?
I was not. What happened, Well, I had a relative,
(00:55):
my brother in town, came in for a couple of
days from New York. I don't get to see him
very often. So I was like, I'll take the rare
and appropriate, rare and appropriate night off from the radio show.
And why not. So that's what has been going on,
And I said, I can still do the podcast. The
(01:16):
podcast takes like thirty minutes, that's nothing. I'll do the
podcast on this edition, the Friday special. We have the
Playground remix, not all heroes wear capes, and who knows
what else, but we begin with this. So it arrives
every year on this day. What is it? You think, Well,
(01:36):
it's just a random Friday. Is nothing special about the
seventeenth day of April. You want to bet on that
it is National High five Day, a holiday that feels
less invented than discovered. Today's the day we've all done
the high fight. Hey, give me a high five. Yeah.
And like so many things in American culture, there is folklore.
(02:03):
There is disputed ownership. The origin story is rather interesting.
You've got dueling pianos. Now. The most Hollywood version, hooray
for Hollywood. That's got the Razmataz. The most Hollywood version
belongs to that Dodgers. They just had Jackie Robinson Day,
(02:25):
and baseball provided the Dodgers provided Jackie Robinson a team
to play for back in the day. The Dodgers also
in the nineteen seventies, with Bell bottoms and all that.
Nineteen seventy seven, Dusty Baker hit a moonshot home run
at Chavez Ravine and Glenn Burke was at home plate,
(02:45):
lifted his hand in the air everywhere and there it
was what appeared to be a spontaneous moment punctuation. Dusty Baker,
who would go on to have a Hall of Fame career.
Unsure of the choreography, but certain of the mood, he
slapped the hand and flag was up off to the races.
(03:08):
In that instant, baseball took ownership, accidentally invented a new
form of public punctuation. A legend was born, and it
seems a little too perfect, a little too perfect, which
means it's probably not entirely true. There are competing claims
(03:28):
hovering around, all right, hovering around back before the interweb.
But note tanking was done by things called newspapers. It
was not an exact science. At the University of Louisville,
players by the name of Wiley Brown, like the name
Wiley Brown and Derek Smith. The legend is that these
(03:50):
guys deployed the high five. They said, we came up
with it during the seventy eight seventy nine season, and
that that's where it started. Meanwhile, at Michigan State University
Old Sparti, there was a another person say well what
about us, what about me? A person by the name
(04:11):
of Irvin Johnson, better known by his stage name Magic
Johnson insisted that he was the one that cooked that
spell up. He was the choreographer of that. So you
have three different groups taking ownership of this. Very similar
to how the wave has started. There's a debate who
(04:34):
started the wave. Did it start at an Oakland A's game,
Did it start at a University of Washington football game.
It started around the same time, but who exactly started
at first? Who knows? So all of these accounts they
share the amnesia of what happened prior. You see, if
(04:54):
you go on the Hot t Top time machine, long
before the High five became a thing, that was the
lofi or as they said, hey give me some skin,
you know, like that, And that was from before television,
and it just happened organically in jazz clubs, was improvised
(05:15):
in the black culture and jazz clubs. The legend goes
and street corners back one hundred years ago, nineteen twenties,
nineteen thirties, so give me some skin, slapping skin, and
that's how that went. And by the time that something
called the Jazz Singer went on the big screen in
nineteen twenty seven with a version of the Low five,
(05:39):
it had already been around. It was already established. That
all changed again in nineteen seventies the invention of the
high five, the elevation. The low five became the high five.
The high five is just the low five. You just
raised your hand up a little bit. You reoriented your hand,
and it's more visible. And it has become a big
(06:00):
part of American culture over the years, and still to
this day, fifty some years later or close to fifty
years later, it is still seen on television and movies.
It's a private ritual, public declaration at the same time.
And so when Dusty Baker and Glenn Burke connected at
(06:21):
Dodger Stadium, it wasn't the beginning so much as it
was it was a debut. The cameras were there, the
stakes were different, The moment had a narrative. Baseball always
wants those nice, clean storylines, and they seized it. The
baseball writers seized it. And it has become bigger and
(06:43):
bigger and bigger, and even to this day, it's a
thing that the truth, though, is less satisfying and much
more revealing. And I fell down this deep dive because
it is National High five Day, and that's why we're
talking about this, and it's a cultural hand me down
passed from as musicians the ballplayer. Of course, it is
possible that in the Roman Empire they did some low
(07:06):
fives and some high fives, but they just didn't write
it down. There might be a cave somewhere where Neanderthal said, hey,
let's do the high five. We'll put it in the stone. Sure,
why not? What the hell? That's the American way of invention,
though you take credit for it, even if somebody did
it before you. You just adapt it. You have better
lighting and things like that. Now at some point, and
(07:28):
no one can say exactly this is the main reason
I brought this up, and I apologize. I'm going along
the story I want to tell. I'll get to in
a minute. It's a humdinger of a story, but I
just want to finish this up. Put a bone it. So,
at some point along the way, the high five was commandeered.
It was hijacked by the smallest trouble makers in society,
the kiddos, the playground remix which I fell victim too
(07:54):
many times, and then once I learned it, I did
it to a bunch of other of my classmates. Some
of you might be listening right now, now to this podcast.
So the playground remix is elegant in its cruelty. Up high,
you every done this? Up high? Hand raised down low,
and then the downloading and then yeah too slow? Yeah
(08:18):
up pie down low too slow. Schmucks. Yeah. It is
the high five turned inside out, a celebration that has
been weaponized on playgrounds from Seed to Shining Sea as
a prank, a tiny morality play with expectation and humiliation,
and millions and millions of blacktops across the US, the
(08:42):
swing sets in school cafeterias. If the origin of the
high five was actually just a rip off of the
low five, well, the kiddos took the high five of
the low five, and they combined it with the fake out,
and another legend was worn, another legend was born. Yeah,
(09:04):
put a bow on this, why don't we, because we've
got other things to get to. But National High five
day less a celebration of a single moment and more
of a tribute of the evolution of all of these things.
And so these origin stories are not always tidy, camera ready,
preferably endorsed by someone famous and all that. So, yeah,
(09:26):
we will credit the Dodgers if you want. Why not
what the hell, Dusty Baker. It makes for a better story.
And just understand that the palms meet midair, they carry
with them a history that goes way way wait wait,
wait at least one hundred years, if not much longer
than that. Well, now to the main event, main event.
(09:50):
So I spent a portion of this week doing something
that if you had told me when I started out
years ago dreaming of being in the magic radio box,
and when I started my journey in radio, and I
started at my college radio station KSBR, and then got
my first commercial radio job in San Diego at the
mighty six ninety, if you had told me that this
(10:13):
would be part of my profession, that I would end
up doing this at some point I would have these responsibilities.
I would have assumed that you were either joking or
you thought I instead become a social worker. And yeah,
I'm talking about coordinating transportation logistics for a man named Dick.
(10:34):
Not just any Dick. This is a special Dick, Dick
and Dayton. Yes, so we are now a week and
a day out from the great Cincinnati area malor meat
and Greek. Can you believe that a week from tomorrow
it's on? Like, don't get call April twenty fifth, Newport, Kentucky,
(10:56):
a scenic one mile putt from the Ohio River, the
Mighty Ohio River, and within the smell of broughtworst coming
from where the Reds play. Now I mention this because
geography suddenly becomes a very important part of this story.
I'll explain more in a minute. As the great Paul
(11:19):
Harvey would say, you know what the story is, but
you're about to hear. Yeah. So April twenty fifth is
a important date. We have circled it, we have underlined it,
we have put it in bold. And have we over
hyped this? Absolutely? Absolutely We've overhyped this. And I'm telling
(11:41):
you I feel a little anxiety because I can get
a lot of email from people like this is gonna
be one of the bigger things we do. If everyone
shows up that says they're going to be there, this
is gonna be pretty big. Like we've had some really
big Mallord meat and greets, We've had a lot of
mid sized ones. We've had some small ones like this
seems like a bigger deal. This seems like a bigger deal,
and so so I'm getting a little anxiety like this
(12:03):
is not my thing, this event, and you know, I'm
inviting you to come hang out with me and you
Mostly these are people that you know, I don't really
know you in real life, disembodied voices with fake avatars
and user names. You're my people of the overnight. We've
(12:25):
had tons of RSVPs every day, and you don't need
the RSVP. Just show up. You don't need to announce
your showing up, like big names Queen Roxanne flying in
from Denver, which is flattering, Robbie the Mariner fan the
heavyweight champion coming from the Pacific Northwest, just Josh of course,
(12:45):
local Joe the ghost Hunter, and others. Some really cool
names that I'm excited about meeting. Cardiacs. Stanley's gonna make
the pilgrimage. She's gonna drive down far out Dave, I
believe Chris, who thinks I hate him because he's just
a troll. He's going to be there. So there's some
(13:06):
really cool people that I'm looking forward to meeting that
I have not met. Some of you I have met
that I get to see again that's cool. And some
of these other names. A few of you sound like
you should be pitching minor league baseball somewhere, and a
couple of you seem like you should be really good
at fixing the gutter on your house or my house.
(13:27):
So it's quite the cast, the flotsam and jetsam and
the motley crew traveling circus without a tent, and then
back to Dick. It always goes back to Dick, the
star of the show, Dick and Dayton, who has been
a part of this show for more than two decades,
which blows my mind. The show has been on the
air that long. Dick and Dayton has been with the
(13:48):
show longer than any professional athletes have been alive. Just
about right. Dick, whose age exists in the polite fog
where we all agree just stop counting, somewhere in his
late seventies early eighties. At some point numbers become less
important and less informative and more decorative. So naturally we
(14:09):
asked Dick the most basic question, do you have a ride?
The main reason I'm going to do this is I
had promised Dick and Dayton I was going to do
it years ago, and I follow the code of the West.
When you say you're going to do something, you do it,
And so I'll do it, and I said, Dick, do
you have a ride? This was on the radio, you
might have heard it. And he said, no, I don't
(14:30):
have a ride. And this is where things began to unravel.
So we went down the list and it was not
a big board. It was a list. Sorry Terry in England.
We were assembling. It's like we were assembling this for
a jury, like, hey, Dave and Dayton, No, Dave can't
do it. What about this guy? Know that guy can't
do it? And so I was trying to remember all
(14:51):
the characters that Dick and Dayton has brought up over
the years, and it was like asking a group of
people if they'd help you move, and suddenly everyone has
a thing. And then this is important. I made what
I believe to be a ceremonial offer. I said, I
(15:14):
will pick you up now. This is the kind of
offer that you make, the way you say we should
get lunch sometime, we should go out and have a
nice lunch. Why not? All right? It is not meant
to be operationalized. It is not meant to be examined
(15:35):
under a microscope or a GPS app. Unfortunately, Dick and
Dayton is from the old Country, and I say the
Old Country of Ohio. Dick from Dayton does not understand.
Apparently the token gesture he was legit. He wanted this
to happen. So I looked at a map from where
(15:56):
I am staying in the Greater Cincinnati area, not that
far from the airport to Dayton. The hotel I'm staying
at to Dayton is about ninety minutes. Ninety minutes, which
is a number that sounds reasonable until you realize it
is one direction, not the band one direction. So now
(16:19):
we're talking about three hours round trip just to retrieve Dick,
followed by another three hour return trip because I got
to drop them off. So if my math is correct
using Malormath, that's six hours of driving, which is longer
than the amount of time it takes to fly one
(16:39):
way from Los Angeles to Cincinnati. Okay, so that's that's
where six hours of driving, which is the amount of
time that I would prefer not to spend in the
car on a day where we have tentative plans to
attend a baseball game. Now, if it's raining, I'm not going. However,
the Reds are playing again that night against the Tigers,
(17:03):
playing against the Tigers, and it's that's the plan. So
Robbie the marin a fan, He's going to be there,
I believe, just Josh is in Queen Roxanne, hopefully some others.
We're all going. And there's something very appealing about sitting
in a ballpark with people you normally only interact with
on the radio. It feels almost human, like real life.
(17:29):
And so I'm doing the math on this, and it's
not complicated math. It's malormth, the kind of malar math
that makes you question your life choices. So six hours
of driving, I would miss the game, possibly fall asleep
at the wheel somewhere in rural Ohio between Cincinnati and Dayton,
which I imagine would be a very peaceful but inconvenient situation.
(17:51):
And then but wait, there's more, like a plot twist
in a movie you didn't realize was possible. It happened
a woman named Lisa. I don't know who Lisa is.
Do you know? You know Lisa? Okay, So she lives
in the Dayton area, and I got a message on
(18:15):
the interweb. She and her husband Rob reached out on Facebook,
which is a sentence that normally signals stranger danger. However,
in this case, it signaled salvation. Turns out that Lisa
and Rob have a relative who happens to live at
the same retirement community where Dick in Dayton resides. And
(18:41):
this sweet woman and her husband offered to drive Dick
and just like that, it's what I believe is called
a good mitzvah, an act of kindness. Turns out that
not all heroes wear capes. I was thrilled. I was
only thrilled. This was like a big stress on me.
(19:03):
I was like, well, I'm only in Cincinnati for a
couple of days. I want to get the vibe of
the city and see what it's all about. I love
looking at places I've not been through and experiencing that.
And this woman solved my problem. Logistics had been conquered.
I could see the finish line. So I made the
call to Dick. I wrung him up. He answered her.
(19:24):
I said, good news, Dick and Dayton. I said, we
got your ride, and I told the whole story. I said, listen,
I don't really know this woman. She seems like a
very nice woman. I talked to her on Facebook. I've
got her information, so you's nothing to really worry about.
She knows somebody at the facility. It should be all good.
And she's willing to pick you up, take you down
(19:44):
to Cincinnati. It's gonna be a lot of fun. And
Dick and Dayton said something that, in hindsight, I should
have anticipated instead of saying, Oh, that's great, Ben, I
look forward to seeing you. Thank you so much. I'm
so excited for Lisa. He said, Ben, you're my friend.
(20:05):
I want you to pick me up. We're pals. I
want to spend time in the car with you. Of
course he did. So this is where things took a
turn to the wild side and it turned into a
nineteen ninety sitcom. I did something I raally do. So
I'm having this conversation with Dick and Dayton off the air.
(20:28):
We had a real conversation, two people speaking directly about life,
radio all that stuff. We didn't have the buffer of
a microphone or the safety net of I gotta go, Dick,
I got commercials, none of that. And let me tell you,
Dick and Dayton is a delightfully sweet man. He could
not have been happier. Very rarely in my life do
(20:49):
I talk to someone who takes just great joy of
talking to me. It makes you feel much more important
than you are, Like, this felt like a big thing.
It happened to be his birthday. It was a really
big deal for him that I called him up. And
he starts rolling off all these radio shows that he's
called in. Have you called Sean Hannity? Yes? I have
(21:09):
called Shanna? What about rushlingbou No? I tried calling Russia
a couple of times. Couldn't get on that kind of thing.
And so then he starts asking me. Dick and Dayton
starts asking me about people from the show. It's like
they're long lost relatives. It's a family reunion. We're going
to this pizza place April twenty fifth. Let's give you
(21:29):
the details in a second. If you keep listening. Anyway,
for Dick and Dayton, this is like a family reunion.
And he says, is Coop bah loop or Coop dot Loop?
He didn't say Coop dual loop. He said Coop a
loopa or something like that. Is he going to be there?
I forget exactly it was a mispronunciation. He asked, now.
(21:50):
Dick sounded genuinely disappointed when I said, no, Coop's not going.
Then he said, is that girl? That girl, what's her name? Larina.
Will she be there? I said, no, Dick, Lorena is
not going. She's unfortunately not going to go. Well tell her,
I say hello, Okay, I'll tell her. You say hello,
my personal favorite. And I'm not making this up. This
sounds like something I'm making up for the podcast. I
(22:11):
promise you, Hand to God, I am not making this up.
Dick and Dayton asked, did Eddie Garcia retire? I said retire?
So then I had to explain to the dixter that
Eddie had not retired, that he had been decommissioned or
(22:33):
as we say, whacked. Now keep in mind, at the
time we had this conversation myself and Dick and Dayton,
Dick has regularly called the show pretty much every week.
He calls once or twice a week every week since
this event happened. So I went back in my notes.
It was a very traumatic day for obviously for much
more traumatic for Eddie than me. But it was very disheartening,
(22:55):
and it was you know, it was a tough, tough situation.
So I went back and I looked at my notes.
It has been it has been seventeen months since Eddie
was excommunicated from the show. Five hundred and nineteen days.
Who's counting since Eddie was given the boot, And yet
in Dick's world, Dick and Dayton, this is still a
(23:17):
developing story, developing hot dot dot dot, and it would
appear in Dayton, Ohio. Time moves a little differently, a
little different. I want to go there just because it'll
move slowly. Yeah, honestly, time moves differently for me too. Unfortunately,
it moves the other direction. Eventually, after what I would
describe as a gentle hostage negotiation, like convincing a cat.
(23:42):
I'm allergic to cats, but I have friends that have cats,
and I've seen them from a distance. It's like trying
to get a cat to take medicine. You have to
reach an agreement. You have to colm the cat, put
the medicine in something else. Now, Dick and Dayton eventually
did accept the ride from Lisa and Rob and I
don't know what Lisa said. I'd like to talk to Lisa,
(24:03):
because I just told Dick. I said, listen, I'm gonna
give you Lisa's phone number. I want you to call
her up and just make sure you're okay with it.
If not, I'll give you a ride. And so again,
not all heroes wear capes. So whatever Lisa said to
Dick and Dayton convinced him this was okay and we're
good to go. So thank you so much for that.
(24:27):
And there will be no six hour odyssey, no missing
the baseball game, no existential crisis on Interstate's you know,
seventy five or whatever it is. Order has been restored.
So I would like to thank not only Lisa, but Rob.
I want to make sure I mentioned Rob's name again.
By the way, she told me that the reason she
(24:47):
listens is not just because she's a long suffering Jets fan,
but Rob convinced his wife to listen to the show,
which I imagine required some kind of PowerPoint presentation like
what are you listening to this? What is? I don't understand.
She may have had to sign a waiver. It might
have been written in the marriage contract. I don't know. Lisa,
(25:08):
based on her avatar, is a long suffering Jets fan
living there in the Dayton, Ohio area, or close to it,
and has already endured more than most people should in
a lifetime. So volunteering to drive fine kind gentleman Dick
from Dayton feels consistent with a pattern of heroic endurance
(25:29):
that you would be willing to do that, And now
we wait a week from tomorrow, a week It's crazy.
All the planning, the calls, the minor inconveniences that somehow
become major plot points, will culminate in a room full
of people who have for years existed primarily as voices
(25:54):
in the night, led by Dick and Dayton and ohio
Al who are supposed to form perform together. And I
did go over the rundown with Dick. I said, well, Dick,
I want you to do some songs. Okay, that would
be great. And then I said, well you know who
ohio Al is. Oh, yeah, I know who ohio I said, well,
Al's going to be there, and he's a very talented musician.
He's a big part of what we do here on
(26:15):
the Fifth Hour podcast. And he said, oh that's great.
I said, would you do some music? Yes, I'll do
some music. It's going to be a real hooton Nanny,
A real hooton Nanny. Now, will we understand when Dick
starts singing? Probably not, but it's going to be fun.
We'll have a great time. And I want I want
this place to rock when I want a standing ovation
for Dick and Dick because it's really for him. It's
(26:37):
not for me, it's for him. He's such a guy.
The fact that he loves radio now he calls a
lot of political radio, love sports radio. I just think
it's the coolest thing in the world. We don't have
too many people like that anymore. He's like the last
of them will He gets that, truly gets what we do,
and I get into the I got into the business
because I love radio and it was my passion. Obviously,
if I was younger, I would have gotten into this
(26:58):
podcasting or something like that. But the magic of radio
was just so cool to me, and Dick and Dayton
is the living embodiment of that. So I hope this
goes well. I don't know how many people are gonna
show it. Maybe there'll just be a few people. Who knows,
whoever's there. I want this to be just a wonderful
memory for Dick and Dayton. He just had a big
birthday this week, so I want to make sure that continues.
(27:21):
I suspect something will go wrong. By the way, something
always goes wrong. There will somebody will forget something, a
chair will be in the wrong place. Someone's gonna get lost,
you know, Dick and Dayton will ask if someone retired
who clearly has not retired, like Eddie Garcia. That's all
(27:42):
part of it. It's all part of it. In the end,
this is what the whole thing is. It's a collection
of small, slightly absurd moments that, when you line them
up just right, almost resemble something meaningful. And I have
so many great memories, even though I'm an introvert, I
have so many great memories meeting people and hearing some
of your stories about what you've been through and the
(28:05):
stuff that's happened. And I love the origin stories about
how you started listening to the show and how you
know you didn't really like it, or maybe you did
like it and then you stop liking it, then you
came back to it and all that stuff, and so
it's it's great. So it's it's gonna be a lot
of fun. And I am flattered that many of you
are traveling from far away to do it. And again,
the date on that is a week from tomorrow, so
(28:28):
April twenty fifth, two to five pm. A twenty twenty
six Malor Meet and Greet the Cincinnati area, which will
take place in Newport, Kentucky at Strong's Brick Oven petez Aia.
That'll be from again two pm to five April twenty fifth,
and the Reds play a little after that. And I'm
(28:48):
not sure how this is gonna work logistically. The reason
I'm not sure how this is gonna work is because
a bunch of us want to go to the Reds
game and it's very last minute. I'm not sure we
can get tickets together. We're going to see if we
can at least in the same general area. So the
address at strong Sprint up in Pizzeria seven o' eight
Manmath Street, seven o eight Manna Street in Newport, Kentucky,
(29:14):
four to one, seven to one. So that's it. So again,
thank you so much to the the couple Lisa and Rob.
Not all heroes wear capes, as Dick and Dayton does
have a ride. And I want to thank Angelina and
some others that reached out that said if it didn't
work out, they would be willing to help and pick
(29:34):
up the dixter. So thank you all for your your kindness.
I do appreciate it. And you're you're a good mench
You're you're a good good mench there. Anyway, have a
great rest of your Friday and we will chat with
you on the Saturday Extravaganza and then we'll have the
mail bag on Sunday. Yeah, how about that. I see
(29:55):
you later. Bye bye, Heloha. Got a murder. I gotta go.
Kutboobs.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler,
As we are hanging out together here on a Friday.
It is the seventeenth day of April. We are in
the audio dojo. Was I at my post last night? No?
I was not. What happened, Well, I had a relative,
(00:55):
my brother in town, came in for a couple of
days from New York. I don't get to see him
very often. So I was like, I'll take the rare
and appropriate, rare and appropriate night off from the radio show.
And why not. So that's what has been going on,
And I said, I can still do the podcast. The
(01:16):
podcast takes like thirty minutes, that's nothing. I'll do the
podcast on this edition, the Friday special. We have the
Playground remix, not all heroes wear capes, and who knows
what else, but we begin with this. So it arrives
every year on this day. What is it? You think, Well,
(01:36):
it's just a random Friday. Is nothing special about the
seventeenth day of April. You want to bet on that
it is National High five Day, a holiday that feels
less invented than discovered. Today's the day we've all done
the high fight. Hey, give me a high five. Yeah.
And like so many things in American culture, there is folklore.
(02:03):
There is disputed ownership. The origin story is rather interesting.
You've got dueling pianos. Now. The most Hollywood version, hooray
for Hollywood. That's got the Razmataz. The most Hollywood version
belongs to that Dodgers. They just had Jackie Robinson Day,
(02:25):
and baseball provided the Dodgers provided Jackie Robinson a team
to play for back in the day. The Dodgers also
in the nineteen seventies, with Bell bottoms and all that.
Nineteen seventy seven, Dusty Baker hit a moonshot home run
at Chavez Ravine and Glenn Burke was at home plate,
(02:45):
lifted his hand in the air everywhere and there it
was what appeared to be a spontaneous moment punctuation. Dusty Baker,
who would go on to have a Hall of Fame career.
Unsure of the choreography, but certain of the mood, he
slapped the hand and flag was up off to the races.
(03:08):
In that instant, baseball took ownership, accidentally invented a new
form of public punctuation. A legend was born, and it
seems a little too perfect, a little too perfect, which
means it's probably not entirely true. There are competing claims
(03:28):
hovering around, all right, hovering around back before the interweb.
But note tanking was done by things called newspapers. It
was not an exact science. At the University of Louisville,
players by the name of Wiley Brown, like the name
Wiley Brown and Derek Smith. The legend is that these
(03:50):
guys deployed the high five. They said, we came up
with it during the seventy eight seventy nine season, and
that that's where it started. Meanwhile, at Michigan State University
Old Sparti, there was a another person say well what
about us, what about me? A person by the name
(04:11):
of Irvin Johnson, better known by his stage name Magic
Johnson insisted that he was the one that cooked that
spell up. He was the choreographer of that. So you
have three different groups taking ownership of this. Very similar
to how the wave has started. There's a debate who
(04:34):
started the wave. Did it start at an Oakland A's game,
Did it start at a University of Washington football game.
It started around the same time, but who exactly started
at first? Who knows? So all of these accounts they
share the amnesia of what happened prior. You see, if
(04:54):
you go on the Hot t Top time machine, long
before the High five became a thing, that was the
lofi or as they said, hey give me some skin,
you know, like that, And that was from before television,
and it just happened organically in jazz clubs, was improvised
(05:15):
in the black culture and jazz clubs. The legend goes
and street corners back one hundred years ago, nineteen twenties,
nineteen thirties, so give me some skin, slapping skin, and
that's how that went. And by the time that something
called the Jazz Singer went on the big screen in
nineteen twenty seven with a version of the Low five,
(05:39):
it had already been around. It was already established. That
all changed again in nineteen seventies the invention of the
high five, the elevation. The low five became the high five.
The high five is just the low five. You just
raised your hand up a little bit. You reoriented your hand,
and it's more visible. And it has become a big
(06:00):
part of American culture over the years, and still to
this day, fifty some years later or close to fifty
years later, it is still seen on television and movies.
It's a private ritual, public declaration at the same time.
And so when Dusty Baker and Glenn Burke connected at
(06:21):
Dodger Stadium, it wasn't the beginning so much as it
was it was a debut. The cameras were there, the
stakes were different, The moment had a narrative. Baseball always
wants those nice, clean storylines, and they seized it. The
baseball writers seized it. And it has become bigger and
(06:43):
bigger and bigger, and even to this day, it's a
thing that the truth, though, is less satisfying and much
more revealing. And I fell down this deep dive because
it is National High five Day, and that's why we're
talking about this, and it's a cultural hand me down
passed from as musicians the ballplayer. Of course, it is
possible that in the Roman Empire they did some low
(07:06):
fives and some high fives, but they just didn't write
it down. There might be a cave somewhere where Neanderthal said, hey,
let's do the high five. We'll put it in the stone. Sure,
why not? What the hell? That's the American way of invention,
though you take credit for it, even if somebody did
it before you. You just adapt it. You have better
lighting and things like that. Now at some point, and
(07:28):
no one can say exactly this is the main reason
I brought this up, and I apologize. I'm going along
the story I want to tell. I'll get to in
a minute. It's a humdinger of a story, but I
just want to finish this up. Put a bone it. So,
at some point along the way, the high five was commandeered.
It was hijacked by the smallest trouble makers in society,
the kiddos, the playground remix which I fell victim too
(07:54):
many times, and then once I learned it, I did
it to a bunch of other of my classmates. Some
of you might be listening right now, now to this podcast.
So the playground remix is elegant in its cruelty. Up high,
you every done this? Up high? Hand raised down low,
and then the downloading and then yeah too slow? Yeah
(08:18):
up pie down low too slow. Schmucks. Yeah. It is
the high five turned inside out, a celebration that has
been weaponized on playgrounds from Seed to Shining Sea as
a prank, a tiny morality play with expectation and humiliation,
and millions and millions of blacktops across the US, the
(08:42):
swing sets in school cafeterias. If the origin of the
high five was actually just a rip off of the
low five, well, the kiddos took the high five of
the low five, and they combined it with the fake out,
and another legend was worn, another legend was born. Yeah,
(09:04):
put a bow on this, why don't we, because we've
got other things to get to. But National High five
day less a celebration of a single moment and more
of a tribute of the evolution of all of these things.
And so these origin stories are not always tidy, camera ready,
preferably endorsed by someone famous and all that. So, yeah,
(09:26):
we will credit the Dodgers if you want. Why not
what the hell, Dusty Baker. It makes for a better story.
And just understand that the palms meet midair, they carry
with them a history that goes way way wait wait,
wait at least one hundred years, if not much longer
than that. Well, now to the main event, main event.
(09:50):
So I spent a portion of this week doing something
that if you had told me when I started out
years ago dreaming of being in the magic radio box,
and when I started my journey in radio, and I
started at my college radio station KSBR, and then got
my first commercial radio job in San Diego at the
mighty six ninety, if you had told me that this
(10:13):
would be part of my profession, that I would end
up doing this at some point I would have these responsibilities.
I would have assumed that you were either joking or
you thought I instead become a social worker. And yeah,
I'm talking about coordinating transportation logistics for a man named Dick.
(10:34):
Not just any Dick. This is a special Dick, Dick
and Dayton. Yes, so we are now a week and
a day out from the great Cincinnati area malor meat
and Greek. Can you believe that a week from tomorrow
it's on? Like, don't get call April twenty fifth, Newport, Kentucky,
(10:56):
a scenic one mile putt from the Ohio River, the
Mighty Ohio River, and within the smell of broughtworst coming
from where the Reds play. Now I mention this because
geography suddenly becomes a very important part of this story.
I'll explain more in a minute. As the great Paul
(11:19):
Harvey would say, you know what the story is, but
you're about to hear. Yeah. So April twenty fifth is
a important date. We have circled it, we have underlined it,
we have put it in bold. And have we over
hyped this? Absolutely? Absolutely We've overhyped this. And I'm telling
(11:41):
you I feel a little anxiety because I can get
a lot of email from people like this is gonna
be one of the bigger things we do. If everyone
shows up that says they're going to be there, this
is gonna be pretty big. Like we've had some really
big Mallord meat and greets, We've had a lot of
mid sized ones. We've had some small ones like this
seems like a bigger deal. This seems like a bigger deal,
and so so I'm getting a little anxiety like this
(12:03):
is not my thing, this event, and you know, I'm
inviting you to come hang out with me and you
Mostly these are people that you know, I don't really
know you in real life, disembodied voices with fake avatars
and user names. You're my people of the overnight. We've
(12:25):
had tons of RSVPs every day, and you don't need
the RSVP. Just show up. You don't need to announce
your showing up, like big names Queen Roxanne flying in
from Denver, which is flattering, Robbie the Mariner fan the
heavyweight champion coming from the Pacific Northwest, just Josh of course,
(12:45):
local Joe the ghost Hunter, and others. Some really cool
names that I'm excited about meeting. Cardiacs. Stanley's gonna make
the pilgrimage. She's gonna drive down far out Dave, I
believe Chris, who thinks I hate him because he's just
a troll. He's going to be there. So there's some
(13:06):
really cool people that I'm looking forward to meeting that
I have not met. Some of you I have met
that I get to see again that's cool. And some
of these other names. A few of you sound like
you should be pitching minor league baseball somewhere, and a
couple of you seem like you should be really good
at fixing the gutter on your house or my house.
(13:27):
So it's quite the cast, the flotsam and jetsam and
the motley crew traveling circus without a tent, and then
back to Dick. It always goes back to Dick, the
star of the show, Dick and Dayton, who has been
a part of this show for more than two decades,
which blows my mind. The show has been on the
air that long. Dick and Dayton has been with the
(13:48):
show longer than any professional athletes have been alive. Just
about right. Dick, whose age exists in the polite fog
where we all agree just stop counting, somewhere in his
late seventies early eighties. At some point numbers become less
important and less informative and more decorative. So naturally we
(14:09):
asked Dick the most basic question, do you have a ride?
The main reason I'm going to do this is I
had promised Dick and Dayton I was going to do
it years ago, and I follow the code of the West.
When you say you're going to do something, you do it,
And so I'll do it, and I said, Dick, do
you have a ride? This was on the radio, you
might have heard it. And he said, no, I don't
(14:30):
have a ride. And this is where things began to unravel.
So we went down the list and it was not
a big board. It was a list. Sorry Terry in England.
We were assembling. It's like we were assembling this for
a jury, like, hey, Dave and Dayton, No, Dave can't
do it. What about this guy? Know that guy can't
do it? And so I was trying to remember all
(14:51):
the characters that Dick and Dayton has brought up over
the years, and it was like asking a group of
people if they'd help you move, and suddenly everyone has
a thing. And then this is important. I made what
I believe to be a ceremonial offer. I said, I
(15:14):
will pick you up now. This is the kind of
offer that you make, the way you say we should
get lunch sometime, we should go out and have a
nice lunch. Why not? All right? It is not meant
to be operationalized. It is not meant to be examined
(15:35):
under a microscope or a GPS app. Unfortunately, Dick and
Dayton is from the old Country, and I say the
Old Country of Ohio. Dick from Dayton does not understand.
Apparently the token gesture he was legit. He wanted this
to happen. So I looked at a map from where
(15:56):
I am staying in the Greater Cincinnati area, not that
far from the airport to Dayton. The hotel I'm staying
at to Dayton is about ninety minutes. Ninety minutes, which
is a number that sounds reasonable until you realize it
is one direction, not the band one direction. So now
(16:19):
we're talking about three hours round trip just to retrieve Dick,
followed by another three hour return trip because I got
to drop them off. So if my math is correct
using Malormath, that's six hours of driving, which is longer
than the amount of time it takes to fly one
(16:39):
way from Los Angeles to Cincinnati. Okay, so that's that's
where six hours of driving, which is the amount of
time that I would prefer not to spend in the
car on a day where we have tentative plans to
attend a baseball game. Now, if it's raining, I'm not going. However,
the Reds are playing again that night against the Tigers,
(17:03):
playing against the Tigers, and it's that's the plan. So
Robbie the marin a fan, He's going to be there,
I believe, just Josh is in Queen Roxanne, hopefully some others.
We're all going. And there's something very appealing about sitting
in a ballpark with people you normally only interact with
on the radio. It feels almost human, like real life.
(17:29):
And so I'm doing the math on this, and it's
not complicated math. It's malormth, the kind of malar math
that makes you question your life choices. So six hours
of driving, I would miss the game, possibly fall asleep
at the wheel somewhere in rural Ohio between Cincinnati and Dayton,
which I imagine would be a very peaceful but inconvenient situation.
(17:51):
And then but wait, there's more, like a plot twist
in a movie you didn't realize was possible. It happened
a woman named Lisa. I don't know who Lisa is.
Do you know? You know Lisa? Okay, So she lives
in the Dayton area, and I got a message on
(18:15):
the interweb. She and her husband Rob reached out on Facebook,
which is a sentence that normally signals stranger danger. However,
in this case, it signaled salvation. Turns out that Lisa
and Rob have a relative who happens to live at
the same retirement community where Dick in Dayton resides. And
(18:41):
this sweet woman and her husband offered to drive Dick
and just like that, it's what I believe is called
a good mitzvah, an act of kindness. Turns out that
not all heroes wear capes. I was thrilled. I was
only thrilled. This was like a big stress on me.
(19:03):
I was like, well, I'm only in Cincinnati for a
couple of days. I want to get the vibe of
the city and see what it's all about. I love
looking at places I've not been through and experiencing that.
And this woman solved my problem. Logistics had been conquered.
I could see the finish line. So I made the
call to Dick. I wrung him up. He answered her.
(19:24):
I said, good news, Dick and Dayton. I said, we
got your ride, and I told the whole story. I said, listen,
I don't really know this woman. She seems like a
very nice woman. I talked to her on Facebook. I've
got her information, so you's nothing to really worry about.
She knows somebody at the facility. It should be all good.
And she's willing to pick you up, take you down
(19:44):
to Cincinnati. It's gonna be a lot of fun. And
Dick and Dayton said something that, in hindsight, I should
have anticipated instead of saying, Oh, that's great, Ben, I
look forward to seeing you. Thank you so much. I'm
so excited for Lisa. He said, Ben, you're my friend.
(20:05):
I want you to pick me up. We're pals. I
want to spend time in the car with you. Of
course he did. So this is where things took a
turn to the wild side and it turned into a
nineteen ninety sitcom. I did something I raally do. So
I'm having this conversation with Dick and Dayton off the air.
(20:28):
We had a real conversation, two people speaking directly about life,
radio all that stuff. We didn't have the buffer of
a microphone or the safety net of I gotta go, Dick,
I got commercials, none of that. And let me tell you,
Dick and Dayton is a delightfully sweet man. He could
not have been happier. Very rarely in my life do
(20:49):
I talk to someone who takes just great joy of
talking to me. It makes you feel much more important
than you are, Like, this felt like a big thing.
It happened to be his birthday. It was a really
big deal for him that I called him up. And
he starts rolling off all these radio shows that he's
called in. Have you called Sean Hannity? Yes? I have
(21:09):
called Shanna? What about rushlingbou No? I tried calling Russia
a couple of times. Couldn't get on that kind of thing.
And so then he starts asking me. Dick and Dayton
starts asking me about people from the show. It's like
they're long lost relatives. It's a family reunion. We're going
to this pizza place April twenty fifth. Let's give you
(21:29):
the details in a second. If you keep listening. Anyway,
for Dick and Dayton, this is like a family reunion.
And he says, is Coop bah loop or Coop dot Loop?
He didn't say Coop dual loop. He said Coop a
loopa or something like that. Is he going to be there?
I forget exactly it was a mispronunciation. He asked, now.
(21:50):
Dick sounded genuinely disappointed when I said, no, Coop's not going.
Then he said, is that girl? That girl, what's her name? Larina.
Will she be there? I said, no, Dick, Lorena is
not going. She's unfortunately not going to go. Well tell her,
I say hello, Okay, I'll tell her. You say hello,
my personal favorite. And I'm not making this up. This
sounds like something I'm making up for the podcast. I
(22:11):
promise you, Hand to God, I am not making this up.
Dick and Dayton asked, did Eddie Garcia retire? I said retire?
So then I had to explain to the dixter that
Eddie had not retired, that he had been decommissioned or
(22:33):
as we say, whacked. Now keep in mind, at the
time we had this conversation myself and Dick and Dayton,
Dick has regularly called the show pretty much every week.
He calls once or twice a week every week since
this event happened. So I went back in my notes.
It was a very traumatic day for obviously for much
more traumatic for Eddie than me. But it was very disheartening,
(22:55):
and it was you know, it was a tough, tough situation.
So I went back and I looked at my notes.
It has been it has been seventeen months since Eddie
was excommunicated from the show. Five hundred and nineteen days.
Who's counting since Eddie was given the boot, And yet
in Dick's world, Dick and Dayton, this is still a
(23:17):
developing story, developing hot dot dot dot, and it would
appear in Dayton, Ohio. Time moves a little differently, a
little different. I want to go there just because it'll
move slowly. Yeah, honestly, time moves differently for me too. Unfortunately,
it moves the other direction. Eventually, after what I would
describe as a gentle hostage negotiation, like convincing a cat.
(23:42):
I'm allergic to cats, but I have friends that have cats,
and I've seen them from a distance. It's like trying
to get a cat to take medicine. You have to
reach an agreement. You have to colm the cat, put
the medicine in something else. Now, Dick and Dayton eventually
did accept the ride from Lisa and Rob and I
don't know what Lisa said. I'd like to talk to Lisa,
(24:03):
because I just told Dick. I said, listen, I'm gonna
give you Lisa's phone number. I want you to call
her up and just make sure you're okay with it.
If not, I'll give you a ride. And so again,
not all heroes wear capes. So whatever Lisa said to
Dick and Dayton convinced him this was okay and we're
good to go. So thank you so much for that.
(24:27):
And there will be no six hour odyssey, no missing
the baseball game, no existential crisis on Interstate's you know,
seventy five or whatever it is. Order has been restored.
So I would like to thank not only Lisa, but Rob.
I want to make sure I mentioned Rob's name again.
By the way, she told me that the reason she
(24:47):
listens is not just because she's a long suffering Jets fan,
but Rob convinced his wife to listen to the show,
which I imagine required some kind of PowerPoint presentation like
what are you listening to this? What is? I don't understand.
She may have had to sign a waiver. It might
have been written in the marriage contract. I don't know. Lisa,
(25:08):
based on her avatar, is a long suffering Jets fan
living there in the Dayton, Ohio area, or close to it,
and has already endured more than most people should in
a lifetime. So volunteering to drive fine kind gentleman Dick
from Dayton feels consistent with a pattern of heroic endurance
(25:29):
that you would be willing to do that, And now
we wait a week from tomorrow, a week It's crazy.
All the planning, the calls, the minor inconveniences that somehow
become major plot points, will culminate in a room full
of people who have for years existed primarily as voices
(25:54):
in the night, led by Dick and Dayton and ohio
Al who are supposed to form perform together. And I
did go over the rundown with Dick. I said, well, Dick,
I want you to do some songs. Okay, that would
be great. And then I said, well you know who
ohio Al is. Oh, yeah, I know who ohio I said, well,
Al's going to be there, and he's a very talented musician.
He's a big part of what we do here on
(26:15):
the Fifth Hour podcast. And he said, oh that's great.
I said, would you do some music? Yes, I'll do
some music. It's going to be a real hooton Nanny,
A real hooton Nanny. Now, will we understand when Dick
starts singing? Probably not, but it's going to be fun.
We'll have a great time. And I want I want
this place to rock when I want a standing ovation
for Dick and Dick because it's really for him. It's
(26:37):
not for me, it's for him. He's such a guy.
The fact that he loves radio now he calls a
lot of political radio, love sports radio. I just think
it's the coolest thing in the world. We don't have
too many people like that anymore. He's like the last
of them will He gets that, truly gets what we do,
and I get into the I got into the business
because I love radio and it was my passion. Obviously,
if I was younger, I would have gotten into this
(26:58):
podcasting or something like that. But the magic of radio
was just so cool to me, and Dick and Dayton
is the living embodiment of that. So I hope this
goes well. I don't know how many people are gonna
show it. Maybe there'll just be a few people. Who knows,
whoever's there. I want this to be just a wonderful
memory for Dick and Dayton. He just had a big
birthday this week, so I want to make sure that continues.
(27:21):
I suspect something will go wrong. By the way, something
always goes wrong. There will somebody will forget something, a
chair will be in the wrong place. Someone's gonna get lost,
you know, Dick and Dayton will ask if someone retired
who clearly has not retired, like Eddie Garcia. That's all
(27:42):
part of it. It's all part of it. In the end,
this is what the whole thing is. It's a collection
of small, slightly absurd moments that, when you line them
up just right, almost resemble something meaningful. And I have
so many great memories, even though I'm an introvert, I
have so many great memories meeting people and hearing some
of your stories about what you've been through and the
(28:05):
stuff that's happened. And I love the origin stories about
how you started listening to the show and how you
know you didn't really like it, or maybe you did
like it and then you stop liking it, then you
came back to it and all that stuff, and so
it's it's great. So it's it's gonna be a lot
of fun. And I am flattered that many of you
are traveling from far away to do it. And again,
the date on that is a week from tomorrow, so
(28:28):
April twenty fifth, two to five pm. A twenty twenty
six Malor Meet and Greet the Cincinnati area, which will
take place in Newport, Kentucky at Strong's Brick Oven petez Aia.
That'll be from again two pm to five April twenty fifth,
and the Reds play a little after that. And I'm
(28:48):
not sure how this is gonna work logistically. The reason
I'm not sure how this is gonna work is because
a bunch of us want to go to the Reds
game and it's very last minute. I'm not sure we
can get tickets together. We're going to see if we
can at least in the same general area. So the
address at strong Sprint up in Pizzeria seven o' eight
Manmath Street, seven o eight Manna Street in Newport, Kentucky,
(29:14):
four to one, seven to one. So that's it. So again,
thank you so much to the the couple Lisa and Rob.
Not all heroes wear capes, as Dick and Dayton does
have a ride. And I want to thank Angelina and
some others that reached out that said if it didn't
work out, they would be willing to help and pick
(29:34):
up the dixter. So thank you all for your your kindness.
I do appreciate it. And you're you're a good mench
You're you're a good good mench there. Anyway, have a
great rest of your Friday and we will chat with
you on the Saturday Extravaganza and then we'll have the
mail bag on Sunday. Yeah, how about that. I see
(29:55):
you later. Bye bye, Heloha. Got a murder. I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.