April 19, 2026 • 42 mins
Ben Maller clocks back into the audio sweatshop and opens up the Fifth Hour mailroom for another wild edition of the Maller Mail Bag. Listener questions fly in from all directions — tongues, robot warriors, churros, Diet Coke, introvert life, and Ben’s alleged psychic powers as a distant cousin of Nostradamus (and drinking buddy of Nostradeanus). Nothing is off limits, everything is fair game, and the answers are equal parts wisdom and nonsense. It’s chaotic, it’s weird, it’s the Fifth Hour. Like, subscribe, follow, and tell a friend — word of mouth is the real MVP!
All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with me Ben Malor,
and a happy Sunday to you. It is the nineteenth
day of April. We are now in the week of
the Malor Meet and Greet, and we've got the mail
bag coming up here. Momentarily, I did want to mention
(00:49):
today is a very important holiday. National Garlic Day is today.
Some would say this is the most important holiday. I
wish I was in Gilroy to celebrate National Garlic Day properly.
A town that smells like garlic, that just gives the delicious,
(01:11):
wonderful odor. They're the garlic capital of the world in
Gilroy today, National Garlic Day. You know my love of
garlic if you've listened over the years, and that if
you go back in time, the early humans realized that
(01:32):
garlic is a not just an antibiotic, a super strong
natural antibiotic. It's nature's antibiotic. This goes back to the
thirteen hundreds. I fell down a rabbit hole a while back,
and you can go back in the archives of the
Fifth Hour podcast. I know Lucky Tony Will and I
ranted and raved about the amazing things that garlic can do.
(01:55):
If you want to walk like an Egyptian. The Egyptians
worshiped garlic as a god. As a god, they even
used it as early currency. But wait, there's more. Garlic
supposedly gave strength to Greek athletes and warriors and warded
(02:15):
off the evil eye and protected maidens as well. I
can go on and on and celebrate appropriately National Garlic Day,
which is a very important day. It is also National
hanging Out Day. Well, I thought that meant, hey, let's
go hang out. It's a Sunday, it's the nineteenth of April.
(02:37):
Let's go hang out and have a fine time with friends. No,
this is one of those environmentalist holidays where you're supposed
to help the environment. And instead of using a dryer,
which most normal civilized people do in America, you're supposed
to go hang your clothes up on a line, dry
(02:59):
your It says, well, you'll extend the life of your
clothes by line drawing them. Let me know how that goes.
It is also bicycle Day today, which I assumed was
just a harmless holiday. Again, you don't what happened to
you assume celebrating bicycle riding. Well, it turns out it's
(03:20):
a little more than that. It's a little more than that.
With the name bicycle Day, will just jump to the
conclusion you just go out and little two wheel ride
around town, that's it. However, it turns out that this
is not what you think it is. Bicycle Day is
(03:41):
a celebration of LSD. Well kind of. It commemorates the
discovery that LSD can evoke significant shifts of consciousness even
in very low doses. So in I guess you can't
just have people go out and do LSD. So in
(04:02):
order to celebrate that, they want you to go out
and get on your bike. And so this goes back
to the Originally the LSD thing was in like the
nineteen fifties when it was discovered, And there you go,
there's a bunch of other dopey days, but I thought,
we don't have time to do the whole thing. It
(04:23):
is time now for the mail bag. So can you
get me in the mood? Oh hi, oh ow, it's
this mail bag all right? Well, thank you, al. I
(04:46):
cannot wait to see what happens here this coming Saturday
in Cincinnati. It is going to be awesome. If you
have not heard by now, and I don't know how
you could have missed this. I have completely sold my
soul to promote this upcoming Mallard Meet and greet in Cincinnati.
It is on like donkey gong. It's coming up this Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.
(05:10):
We will all be together, you and I side by
side if you show up there April twenty fifth, two
till five pm. Malard Meet and Greet in the Greater
Cincinnati area at Strong's Brick Oven Pete Surrey at seven
oh eight Modernmaus Street, Newport, Kentucky, four to one oh seven.
What about a mile away from the where the Reds
(05:32):
play their games and the Ohio River and so looking
forward to checking out Cincinnati. I have never spent any
time there. I've been to the airport a few times,
changing flights. I've never actually gotten out of the airport.
So this will be fun to go around and see
what the locals are up to and meet you and
just enjoy the nice hospitality, the fine state of Kentucky
(05:54):
and the state of Ohio. So I look forward to
that and Ohio al is going to be a big
part of it. Now on to the mail so fast
clarify that before we get to the mail I did
plan on having a sidekick for the mail bag. I
reached out to multiple people who were unavailable. So at
(06:16):
the time we are recording this mail bag, and it
changes literally every week, right, you know, some weeks it's
at this time and then other weeks. It really just
depends on my schedule. I was trying to explain. I
told Terry in England last week, who was kind enough
to join us and stayed up like in the middle
of the night to be part of it. I said,
this is what I'm doing it are you available? He
(06:37):
said yeah. So I reached out to a couple people
and got blown off by all of them, which is fine.
People have lives, they have things. It was last minute,
so it's just me. I hope you'll put up with
me for the mail bag. Thank you In advance. On
that note, the first letter we have letters, lots and
lots and lots of letters. The first letter from our
(06:58):
buddy Reggie from Detroit, who almost never misses a mailbag.
And the reason he almost never misses a mailbag is
he emails pretty early in the week, which almost guarantees
that that will be on the radio or podcast. Reggie
writes and says, Ben, and guest, there is no guest.
Would you get a bodyguard robot? He then sent me
(07:21):
a link to a apparently viral video which I have
not seen, shows a humanoid robot named Edgar, who went
viral recently for chasing off a wild bore in Poland. Yeah. Yeah,
so a viral robot who was hurting wild bores into
(07:43):
a forest. Well, it turns out I did a little research,
your Reggie. It actually turns out that this is apparently
a social media star in Poland. Yeah, so it's not
exactly what it appears. Now. To answer a question, would
(08:05):
I get a robot bodyguard? Eh, I'm okay. I have
ways to protect myself. I think I'm fine Because the
chances of the robot actually protecting you, well, they might
be pretty good. The chances of the robot may be
having a bad day, or there's a glitch in the programming,
and all of a sudden you're like, well, wait a minute,
(08:25):
I didn't want that. What is that? And then the
thing like attacks you and all that. Yeah. What a
world though, man, what a world that seems like right
out of a movie, Right out of a movie. All right.
Next on the mail bag, look at this. We got
an actual letter in physical form, not an email. This
is not an email. This is an actual letter. This
(08:46):
doesn't happen very often. This letter comes from Caleb. About this,
Caleb says, He writes in I'm eleven years old. I
have listened to the show you two channel and podcasts.
Unlike Charlie in Wisconsin Boo packers, I love this. I
(09:09):
love this, Boo Charlie. Caleb's hand written, handwritten note continues,
Caleb brights. I have gotten in trouble for listening to
the show, he says. But he says, my parents have
given up on stopping me from listening. Ha ha ha ah.
(09:33):
That's great. Good job by Yes, Dedication and Caleb, we
actually have that in common because when I was your age,
I listened. I loved radio, I loved that and obviously
I didn't have YouTube because I'm kind of a lot
older than you. But I love radio and I would
stay up and listen to radio, and I called in
the radio shows as a kid. I've fond memories that
(09:56):
I am flattered, Caleb, that you have been a rebel
and you have shown the dedication, Caleb, the commitment to
listening to the Ben Mallor radio show and this podcast
where you were able to stay up, and you really use,
you know you did, Caleb, skullduggery. You use skullduggery to
(10:17):
convince your parents to allow you to continue to listen.
Good job by you. You should listen to your parents.
I think this is rather harmless and I am, as
you know, Caleb, a little biased because I host the show.
You know what I'm saying. Any email or not email
This actual letter here from Caleb. He says, I wanted
to get your opinion which two teams besides the Faker
(10:42):
Lakers are like that. That's a good line, that's right,
The Faker Lakers will blow the NBA playoffs. From Caleb,
I also sent a shout out there to Danny G.
I will make sure Caleb that Danny G knows that
you are a fan of his work. Danny has moved
on from the podcast for now. So to answer the
(11:03):
question Caleb, the I don't know if I can give
you two teams. I'm gonna give you one, The New
York Knicks the Knickerbockers. I just don't have a good
feeling about the Knicks for two reasons. They have a
worst coach this year. They got rid of Tom Thibodeau,
who I'm a fan of, Caleb, and they have Mike Brown,
(11:24):
who's a very nice guy. When you ask him what
kind of coach? We ask people what kind of coaches
Mike Brown, they say, a very nice guy coach. Well,
that doesn't really work. I mean you should be a
nice person, but very nice guy coach doesn't usually work.
So I'm a little skeptical on that. And I don't
trust Karl Anthony Towns. Carl Anthony Towns will eat, drink
and be merry and will not show up when you
(11:44):
need him most. And I've lived that life. I also
don't trust the Calves because of James Harden. Playoff Harden
and he'll play well for a couple of games and
then just rip your heart out. So Caleb, thank you
do well in school, my man. Make sure you send
me some more letters there. I am flattered to have
you as one of the younger listeners. You could be
(12:05):
the youngest person listening, Caleb, you very well could be.
So thank you and thanks to your parents for allowing
you to listen and not get into much trouble. That
fires me up, Calebs, fire me up all right. Next
up on the mail bag out back, John and Joanna
and SOCl says, Hey, big Ben and special guest which
(12:26):
we unfortunately don't have. Did not have anything to ask
this week until I heard the podcast the last Friday
about Andy Van Slike's take on Barry Bonds. Now, I
don't like to use the word hate, but when it
comes to Barry, maybe him or those cheating A one
(12:47):
one thousand and two one thousand holes. Anyway, when my
dad and I would go to Dodger games twenty something
years ago, we would sit in the left field pavilion.
At one point we were chanting steamroids at him. He
turned around, smiled and flexed his right bicept. I know
(13:08):
you're disdain for Barry Bonds, John and Joanna right in
and the cheaters he says, is there another sports figure
that you or the special guest have contempt for? Again,
no special guests. You didn't know that, John when you
sent this email, So that's fine. Who do I have
contempt for? Who really drives me bonkers? No one reaches
(13:34):
the level of Barry Bonds and the a Ros. No
one's quite at that level. There are people that do
annoy me. For example, JJ Reddick just pompous, arrogant elitist.
This guy missed every big shot with the Lob City
(13:56):
Clippers as much as we rip Doc Rivers. Who's another
guy that I'm not fond of? JJ Reddick? The fact
that this guy has no business coaching an NBA team.
It's a joke because he did a podcast with Lebron
was a great choke artist. How many wide open three points?
The guy never missed J. J. Reddick in the first quarter,
of the second quarter, in the fourth quarter. Yeah, you
(14:17):
paid him a twenty million dollars. He couldn't make a
shot that mattered. So he's up there, and there's some
random football people. Thank you John, out back, John and
Joanna for your contribution to the mailbag. Paul writes in
from Thomasville, Georgia. He says, I heard some of the
(14:38):
recent podcast, the discussion of the master's merch Paul points
out he won tickets for a practice round. How about
that through the club's lottery and they have it every year.
The merchandise building is huge and the line to get
in can take hours. I got to the course early
and did not have to wait too long. There is
(14:59):
one or two small open air merchandise stands around the course,
and Paul says during COVID they did have a small
online site. I bought a golf shirt. Email continues. He says,
if you do get an invite, you should go. TV
does not do it justice. Every green and a very green,
(15:21):
rather very every very green. If the man could talk,
it's early and extremely hilly. He says, that's great. Now.
The only thing missing from this email, Paul, is you
did not say, like like what you talked about the
experience at the practice round, like I need more details
(15:44):
on that, like you won tickets, but I want to know.
I want to hear more about it. I'd like to
hear more about it. He also says, you see Pope
Leo spinning the basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters. I did
see a clip on my feed. I thought it might
be AI. I guess that would real. You see things
these days. They're like Pope's not spinning up basketball with
(16:06):
the Harlem Globe trials. What are you're talking about? I
guess that was legit. Patty from San Francisco rites in
and says, did you see Ben that the YouTuber who
risked his life to give diet coke to an isolated
tribe on an island is facing five years in prison.
(16:27):
I remember the story, Patty, we talked about it on
the podcast. I didn't realize he was bringing them diet
coke the North Sentinel Island, which is that just blows
me away that we still here in twenty twenty six.
There are islands and places in the world that have
not been touched by the modern society. There are people
(16:49):
running around like they did in the beginning of time.
It's fascinating to me that that happens. And as far
as getting he's not gonna get five years in jail.
What are you doing though? Seriously, like, yeah, come on,
and they certainly could have speared him and they wouldn't
have been charged with a crime because it's their land
(17:10):
and they can do what they want. I will be interested, Patty,
to see how much jail time the guy gets. I'm
assuming he'll get a little bit of jail time probation,
that kind of thing. Dax from Texas rights in. It's
a rather big state, Dax. You might want to say
what city next time, he says Ben. Subway will be
giving free food for a year if you can find
(17:31):
a meteorite. Are you looking? Yeah? Let me put it
this way, Dax. If Subway said you know what we're
gonna do, We are going to hook you up with
free raising canes for a year, I would spend all
night looking up to the heavens all night to try
to find a meteorite. Okay, all night, I would try
(17:51):
to find it. If that was the case, I'd be like,
all right, let's see what we can find it. Come on,
here we go. Yeah. So nah, you know, I eat
maybe once a year, usually because I have no other options.
I used to love Subway when they had the five
dollars foot longs. Do I like paying fifteen dollars for
a foot long? Hell? No? Next up? Gary in Pittsburgh
(18:13):
writes in He says Ben, I haven't listened to every
Huber Heights hour of the show this week. Bad job
by me. But you can take some solace that if
you have to make a dick pick up that you
can check out the brand new BUCkies that open on
April six. It's located in Hoober Heights, Exit seventy one
(18:34):
off I seventy. Looks like it's just north of Dayton.
I'm surprised no one has said any about it unless
I missed it. I will see you next Saturday. We'll
see if you can figure out who I am without
an introduction. Good thing I'm an early riser because it
looks like a six hour drive until then. Gary in Pittsburgh.
First of all, Gary, thank you guy. You had said
(18:56):
you were going to be there, and I'm happy that
I'm gonna be able to meet you. So are you
going to be wearing a Steelers jersey so I know
you're from Pittsburgh, a pirate's hat or do I just
have to guess? See, this is always the awkward part
at these meet and greets because it's weird. I'm an introvert.
(19:18):
A lot of the people that are big fans of
the show are also introverts. So it's that weird feeling
out process. The good news is there's always enough extroverts
that are there that kind of smooth things over, and
I attempt to be a fake extrovert at these things.
It's cosplay. I am. I'm fired up there, Gre I'm
looking forward to to meeting you, like I said, And
(19:40):
if I do, I don't think I'll have to pick
up Dick and Dayton. I don't know if you heard
the Friday podcast A, not all heroes wear capes. So
I think we're I think we're good on that. I
think we're good on that. So if I did, I
did see that they have the BUCkies, And if I
had had to go pick up Dick, I would have
taken him to BUCkies, whether he wanted to go or not,
and I would have gotten a barbecue brisket sandwich and
(20:03):
that would have been that, and that he just would
have had to put up with it. Major Mallor, this
is from Neil, he says Major Mallor Neil from Fall River, Mass,
asking permission to get in the Malor bus. Yeah, you're welcome,
he says. I'm excited for your Boston trip. And I
was wondering if you're gonna throw a lollipop off the mound,
or you're gonna cheat. There's no cheating. First of all,
(20:25):
you understand the rules. Okay, the rules k Neil from
Fall River are I've done this a few times. I've
not thrown out of first pitch, probably has been almost
ten years, close to ten years. And usually they'll tell you, listen,
you can't go on the mound because the game's gonna happen.
And if they say you can go on the mount,
(20:45):
I'll go on the mount. And you don't need to
besmirch my ability to throw. There's more than one way
to peel an orange, there's more than one way to
make a bed, and there's more than one way to
get a batter out. And you don't have to be
jealous that I have a high spin rate on my pitches.
Neil also says, hey, Ben, I am a car guy,
(21:09):
and my dad always said worst investment is a car.
What other investment is worth nothing? After ten years? He says,
my question, what brand of cars? The Malomobile with two
hundred thousand miles, Yeah, that car is back in the shop. Actually,
the Malorimobile with close to two hundred thousand miles. It
(21:30):
is a Hyundai Sonata Hunday Sonata, which is pretty good car.
I got the Sonata because it's very roomy on the
inside and I like comfort, and I'm a big guy
and a tall guy, and there's a lot of leg
room and all that, so I do enjoy it a lot,
although it's in the shop. Again. Yeah, I will never
buy a new car ever. Now, if somebody who happens
(21:54):
to be a fan of the show happens to have
a dealership and wants to lease me a car, boy,
I'd be very happy about that. But as far as
buying the car new, no, I will only buy use
cars because, as you pointed out, and your dad properly
touch you, Neil, it's not great. The moment you pull
the car off the lot, the value of that thing
has taken a dramatic hit. So not worth a day
(22:16):
from Seattle writes in he says, Ben is your tongue out,
And then he says, there's a restaurant in China that
is using AI to recommend food after scanning customers tongues
and faces, and they're even using robots to cook up
the dishes. Are you in? So, first of all, Dave,
(22:37):
I have no plans to go to China. I know
there's a lot of our listeners in China want to
do a mall of meet and greet, very popular in
Beijing unless we're not. So that's the first thing. Secondly,
I like what I like. I don't need AI to
tell me what I like. I know what I like.
I can scan the menu and tell you what I like.
I don't need that to happen. So like, I'm sure
(23:00):
this will come to America at some point. Right, this
is going to come to America, and I'll be in
a position where I could do this if I wanted to.
I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay. Thanks for
the story, though, Dave, have you done it? Have you
gone to China? Dave? Have you gotten your face scanned
by AI? Have you gotten your tongue scanned? Shane from
Dallas rights and says, Hey, Ben, I think you missed
(23:21):
this one on the food segment. You do well. First
of all, we didn't do the food segment this week, Shane,
So that's number one. We didn't do the food segment.
And anyway, he says, Costco is introducing a new dessert
to its food Court lineup, adding a limited time Carmel
Churo Sunday to menus just in time for spring, Just
(23:46):
in time for spring. Now this does something. This does
sound like something I'd be into. I have not had
the mint Costco they added the mint thing. They got
rid of a different kind of vice. I forget which
kind they got rid of. They have mint now, So yeah,
Costco introducing this brand new dessert. The Caramel Churo Sunday,
(24:07):
is priced at two ninety nine and is available at
participating locations. It arrives. Oh, so I guess this is okay.
So this is what replaced the double Chocolate Mint Sunday.
So it appears I will not get the double Chocolate
Mint Sunday was phased out, so that was only around
for a couple months. That was launched in February. Had
(24:29):
the chocolate mint base and chocolate syrup. So this is
the new one. This looks really good. I'm looking at
a photo. I wonder if they have this in Vancouver,
Like my man Nico, you can go to that Vancouver,
the Vancouver Costco. You could get the poutine and then
have have this. Yeah, it's got brown sugar and cinnamon flavors.
(24:56):
It looks amazing, it looks absolutely wonderful. I'm gonna have
to make it effort. I gotta get that, because I
guess this is the new deal for Costco. They have
these things. They pop up for a little bit and
then just a couple months and then that's all. They're
rotating things, which is smart, Which is smart.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
J T.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
The Wingman writes in from Tennessee, and I butcher the
name of his town every single week. I butcher the
name of his town. Am I gonna do that again?
Am I gonna try? I'm not eve gonna try. JT.
I'm not feeling it today, so he says, looking very
forward to seeing you again this next week in the
Cincinnati area, and even more excited to meet Dick from Dayton.
(25:42):
As for my mail bag question, since you are a
self labeled introvert, what makes you enjoy the various meet
and greets you have done over the years. This will
be my fifth and I would say for an introvert,
you are one of the more genuine, gracious hosts I've
ever met. It motivates me to make the drives or
even fly to Vegas to do this, says sure. I
(26:06):
also love meeting the characters on the show, but watching
you interact with the characters is awesome. The highlight was
seeing you with hollering James. That was unforgettable. Then you
had Doc Mike and the wedding with spin Cycle Regina fantastic.
Don't forget about we had that was the event. We
had Eke from Roseville, Minnesota. We had, I mean there
(26:28):
was so many. Al was there as well from Minnesota.
We had who else? Uber each guy Femi Legends says,
looking forward to your answer here on the pod, see
you next week. That's from j T. Yeah. So there's
a couple of reasons. First of all, it's just it's important.
(26:49):
I feel like it's a big deal, Like it's a
very personal thing doing the doing the radio show, and
the fact that I've been able to pull this off
as many years as I have is a big test
stimonial to you guys, cause we're doing overnights here and
we have a pretty good following, and it's because of
you listening and downloading the podcast and listening to this
(27:10):
podcast and supporting what we do. And if I can
just go out and say thank you, that's like that's
a big deal. You've been able to keep me employed
other than six months and twenty six days. We won't
talk about that. That was a mistake by the company.
It's been a really cool experience to meet people, and
I love hearing the stories. I'm an introvert, but I
(27:30):
do like to hear the stories of how people found
the show, what's gone on, and what they do for
a living. I'm curious about that. Not that I necessarily
like engaging in social events on a normal basis, and
I do work myself up to do this, but it's cool.
It's really neat to hear people's stories and to see
(27:51):
what brought them there. And people listen for all kinds
of reasons, whether you work the third shift or a
lot of people have said they found the show because
they were sick, or they had a relative that was
sick and that was the reason they found the show
and they kept listening and things like that, and so
it interests me. It does interest me, and I do
(28:12):
like hanging out with the people. I do recall James,
which was just and he's still jt It's very awkward
when James calls up hollering. James treats me like some
kind of God, and it's very embarrassing, very embarrassing. I'm
looking forward to say thank you JT for driving over
there from near Knoxville. Severville, is that I say? Right? No,
(28:35):
all right, Severville anyway. Scott from Florida wrights and says Ben,
I admire your ethics as a journalist. How have you
managed to fight off the women working in sports in
order to keep your inside scoops above the belt for
thirty years? Well, fortunately, I'm not attractive, that's the first thing.
So I've got that going for me. And I don't
(28:56):
spend a lot of time in hot tubs with people
I don't know. That's usually how that goes. So those
two things, Scott. And although I don't think Mike Vrabel's
a handsome devil, you know, I don't. I don't think
he's a handsome devil, but there are different ways. I guess.
I read a book years ago that women often find
(29:16):
it's not the physical look. It's if you have power
or money that that makes you very good looking in
the eyes of some women. So Vrabel's got money and
he's got some power, so that would mean he's attractive.
I would assume, all right, Maddie from Parts Unknown rights
In says Ben, why do almost twenty percent of Americans
(29:39):
believe that they are basically psychic? He says, and then
he sent me a link to a story. Survey of
two thousand adults explored how they employ their intuition in
their daily lives, and nineteen percent, almost twenty percent, nineteen
percent of Americans one in five believe their psychic Yeah.
(30:03):
Another seventy one percent rely on their intuition at least sometimes.
Only eleven percent don't believe in it. Yeah, all right,
So Maddie, I don't know where you're from. You might
want to put your city if you want us to
give you a little more attention. So this is not
(30:24):
that outrageous, Like I am someone who goose around. I
mock that. I talk about being a distant relative of
Nostradamus and friend of Nostradinis who lives in Seattle, And
that's a little wink in a nod. And I do
know that the psychics. I've seen the documentaries The Amazing
Randy and some others about what a scam a lot
(30:46):
of that is. I get it. The thing that I
do is I telegraph things. If things are happening. I
telegraph the possible most likely outcomes, Like I had a
friend of mine who I was really good friends with,
and he met a girl, which is how all stories
(31:08):
go and take a dramatic turn, right, because that could
either be a positive a woman could be an amazing
thing for you, a great it's in your life, or
take you to the dark side. And there's really no
in between on that. And so I was good friends
with this guy and he found a woman. I met her,
and I just got a kind of a weird, weird
vibe out of it, and so I started telegraphing in
(31:30):
my head. I said, well, what's going to happen? And
I actually tried to talk the guy out of getting married.
I just had a vibe this was not this is
not good. You're just you're going to end up in
a tough spot. And I told some people in my
world that I had I don't know if it's premonition
or whatever. I just had this vision of what I
thought was going to happen. I could have been completely wrong,
(31:53):
could have been completely wrong. And several people got very
upset with me who I consulted with and said, well,
you shouldn't bring that up. You know, you're you're you're
just speculating. It's not right, and hand to God, Maddie.
My prediction was, this woman is gonna drag him away
from where we live, gonna move him out to some
(32:14):
place in the boondocks, and he's going to stop even
replying to my text messages and we're not going to
be friends anymore. That all happened. Everything I said, everything
I said happened, and literally every one of those predictions.
It slowly she was I don't know if this was
(32:36):
her deal or what did she He was weaned away
and uh moved moved very far. And I've not seen
the guy in years, since before the pandemic. It's been
a while. Julio from Albuquerque writes and says, you ready
for a chat box chat box burger? He says, Dairy
Queen is expanding his use of AI at the drive
(32:57):
through chat bots, and this continues the chain or the
trend of fast food chains testing automation to speed up service. Okay, yeah,
that's great until they f up your order. And you
know a lot of people mumble, even I mumble from
(33:18):
time to time. So how are you going to be
able to understand what somebody who's completely baked at the
drive through at three in the morning wants to order
when they're mumbling good luck. Justin from Akron, I hope
you can Akron, Ohio. Justin, I hope you can make
it to the Cincinnati area malor meet and greet this
(33:39):
coming Saturday. Justin writes and says, Ben, are you a
Nutella guy? He says, Nutella has launched its first new
flavor after over sixty years. First new flavor introducing the
Nutella Peanut two shelves across the United States. First of all,
I I think I've only had Natela a couple times,
(34:03):
and I'm not going to be getting this product. If
somebody happens to give me the product, I might try
the product. I'm not against it, It's just not on
my must consume list or big board, as Terry would say.
Jack from Vegas Rights send on the mail bag a
lot of mail this week. Good job by you guys.
If you would like to send a message in for
a future edition of the mail bag and we will
have someone with me next week. I know it gets
(34:25):
kind of dull with me. Just here Real fifth Hour
at gmail dot com. Real fifth hour at gmail dot com,
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. All letters, no numbers.
You can send a message in or you can be
like our guy Caleb and write a snail mail message.
You can do that also, whatever works for you. What's next?
(34:45):
Do we have Jack from Vegas? He says, Hey, Ben,
have you ever been to Longhorn Steakhouse? It turns out
they will actually let you order parmer jon crusted glass
wrapped around your water, and it's not just limited to
your your food. Are you in? Yes, Jack? I get
there's two steakhouses that are that are chains. I think
(35:09):
Longhorn's one of them, right, and there's another one that
sounds very similar. And I'm not sure whether I've eaten
at Longhorn Steakhouse or something that sounds just like Longhorn Steakhouse.
But I have eaten at one of the big chain
steakhouse places and it was fine. I didn't hate it.
And my theory is that anything with parmesan in it
is not a bad thing. So a glass of water
(35:29):
with parmesan sounds wonderful, you know, Andy from Van Eyes
in the Valley here in so Cow writes and he says,
hey Ben, he says, we have dueling stories for you.
I found I know you love science. Andy says, I
found two stories that were perfect for your podcast. Hopefully
you can talk about them. Thank you, and I hope
(35:50):
to see you soon. All right, Well, I don't know
how you're gonna see me, Andy, unless you come to
Cincinnati or what you're in Iaron Van Eyes. We do
the show from Sherman Oaks, which is right down the street. Anyway,
the stories he sent me here for the podcast. He says,
more time spent on social media is linked to a
thinner cerebral cortex and young adolescents the developing brain. It
(36:15):
is not good. It is not good. That is story
number one. Story number two says a recent studies from
Andy and Van Eys. These are science stories he sent
to the show. He says, a recent study published in
the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that the
way people interact with attractive strangers on TikTok can impact
(36:36):
the trust and you know what when they're when they're
actually out dating, the satisfaction when they're out dating. Yeah,
well it's listen, this is not new. The thirst trap
is the what's the way to discribe back in the
day it was just straight porn. Now it's the thirst
(36:57):
trap is kind of like porn, except it's sposedly real people,
unless it's AI and the girls have a little clothing on,
unlike the porn when there's nothing going on there other
than just you your birthday suit. So it's like it's
always been the case. It's you watch too much porn.
It affects your relationship and all that. And so I
would think if you're just looking at nothing but the fake,
(37:18):
perfect lighting, perfect camera angles, thirst traps that the ladies
put up, it can be. It can't affect your perception
of reality because in reality, that's not what you're getting. Boys,
you know, you're getting the real thing and all the
warts and the moles and all that. That's part of
the deal. Mike from Jersey rites in and says who
(37:41):
would have imagined? Ben that Pepsi says after lowering snack prices,
they're getting more business now that more people are buying
Pepsi snacks because they lowered the prink. Yes, we need
the Golden Age mic of a reversal. I feel like
the last fifteen to twenty years it's just been up, up, up,
(38:01):
and way. How much can we price gouge these people?
Professional sports is the absolute worst. The worst of the
worst is in professional sports. It'd be great. And the
Atlanta Falcons did this a little bit by lowering the
price of concessions, and good for Arthur Blank and the Falcons.
Way to go. I'm sure Tommy in Atlanta, who I
believe is going to be at the Mala meet and
(38:21):
greet this Saturday. I'm sure Tommy appreciates if he goes
to a Falcons game he can get nachos and peanuts
and all that for a reasonable price. I'm sure he
appreciates that. So yeah, good job. It's not shocking. It's
I could have told you that you didn't need to
hire some firm. Okay, Dwayne from Harrisburg, PA writs and
(38:42):
he's been Can I go on a cruise and get
paid as well? And then he points out there's a woman,
a forty five year old woman from Caddedy, Forna. From
here in Cannedy, Forna. This woman from California won a
three hundred thousand dollars lawsuit after she was served more
than fourteen tequila shots on a cruise ship and had
(39:05):
a serve fall or severe surffall severe fall. All right,
so she got injured. That's what this is about. I
used to listen there was a show called Handle on
the Law with Bill Handle, who I met at KFI
back in the day. And this is the kind of
thing I learned from listening to that handle On Law
(39:26):
to the way to make real money at this you
have to be really seriously injured, like you have to
have things that negatively affect the quality of her life
in order to get paid, you know what I'm saying.
So I've never been on a cruise ship other than
the Queen Mary, which does not count because it doesn't
go anywhere. It's anchored to the LBC. So yeah, all right,
(39:52):
we're going to get out on this. I love this
story from mail in Kansas City. I hope you've had
the Ben Mallard chicken fingers there at the landing in Liberty, Missouri.
If you live in Kansas City. It's a must if
you're a fan of the show. Liberty, Missouri. We had
a Mallard meet and greet there a couple of years ago.
It was great. Check it out, all right, So Mel
(40:13):
writes in, and he points out that there's a guy
that runs a restaurant in China. By the way, how
many of these stories come from China? Did they just
make these up? Are these all legitimate stories? China must be?
What a wild place China must be with all the
crazy zany stories that come out of China that start
(40:34):
with a blank. From China anyway, this is a restaurant
owner in China has gone viral. Mel says he got
upset with influencers, and he told the people that came,
you know, the social media influenced in China to come
to view his restaurant. He told them to not say
(40:54):
good things about his establishment, do not leave a good review,
do not make a nice Why this guy claimed that
his life will be too hard. My life will be
too hard if customers come in because of your good reviews.
How great is that? That's a guy that says, I
(41:15):
like my job, I don't love my job. I don't
want to work too much. Please don't make me work
too much. Please please, please, please please. That's what that is.
It's freaking hilarious. All right, thank you all for your messages.
There are a few others that we didn't get to, but
this has gone way longer than it was supposed to.
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again.
If you want to be part of next week's mailbag again,
(41:36):
we will be recording a little earlier next week because
I am going to be in Cincinnati, so we'll do
the Friday one on Friday and then the other ones
will do a little We'll call him Evergreen. So if
you want to be part of the mail bag next week,
make sure to send your questions in earlier. Real fifth
Hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail
(41:57):
dot com. I cannot wait for the week ahead. I'll
be back on the radio tonight, same time, same bat station.
Enjoy that we'll be hanging out talking NFL Draft week,
the baseball weekend, whatever else is going on, whatever pops
that we have decided is worthy of conversation tonight. You
(42:18):
can send that in on the radios. Listen. Just listen
eleven PM in the West tonight. It's two am to
six am on Monday morning in the East, and we'll
talk to you then. Aloha, Bye bye. Population
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with me Ben Malor,
and a happy Sunday to you. It is the nineteenth
day of April. We are now in the week of
the Malor Meet and Greet, and we've got the mail
bag coming up here. Momentarily, I did want to mention
(00:49):
today is a very important holiday. National Garlic Day is today.
Some would say this is the most important holiday. I
wish I was in Gilroy to celebrate National Garlic Day properly.
A town that smells like garlic, that just gives the delicious,
(01:11):
wonderful odor. They're the garlic capital of the world in
Gilroy today, National Garlic Day. You know my love of
garlic if you've listened over the years, and that if
you go back in time, the early humans realized that
(01:32):
garlic is a not just an antibiotic, a super strong
natural antibiotic. It's nature's antibiotic. This goes back to the
thirteen hundreds. I fell down a rabbit hole a while back,
and you can go back in the archives of the
Fifth Hour podcast. I know Lucky Tony Will and I
ranted and raved about the amazing things that garlic can do.
(01:55):
If you want to walk like an Egyptian. The Egyptians
worshiped garlic as a god. As a god, they even
used it as early currency. But wait, there's more. Garlic
supposedly gave strength to Greek athletes and warriors and warded
(02:15):
off the evil eye and protected maidens as well. I
can go on and on and celebrate appropriately National Garlic Day,
which is a very important day. It is also National
hanging Out Day. Well, I thought that meant, hey, let's
go hang out. It's a Sunday, it's the nineteenth of April.
(02:37):
Let's go hang out and have a fine time with friends. No,
this is one of those environmentalist holidays where you're supposed
to help the environment. And instead of using a dryer,
which most normal civilized people do in America, you're supposed
to go hang your clothes up on a line, dry
(02:59):
your It says, well, you'll extend the life of your
clothes by line drawing them. Let me know how that goes.
It is also bicycle Day today, which I assumed was
just a harmless holiday. Again, you don't what happened to
you assume celebrating bicycle riding. Well, it turns out it's
(03:20):
a little more than that. It's a little more than that.
With the name bicycle Day, will just jump to the
conclusion you just go out and little two wheel ride
around town, that's it. However, it turns out that this
is not what you think it is. Bicycle Day is
(03:41):
a celebration of LSD. Well kind of. It commemorates the
discovery that LSD can evoke significant shifts of consciousness even
in very low doses. So in I guess you can't
just have people go out and do LSD. So in
(04:02):
order to celebrate that, they want you to go out
and get on your bike. And so this goes back
to the Originally the LSD thing was in like the
nineteen fifties when it was discovered, And there you go,
there's a bunch of other dopey days, but I thought,
we don't have time to do the whole thing. It
(04:23):
is time now for the mail bag. So can you
get me in the mood? Oh hi, oh ow, it's
this mail bag all right? Well, thank you, al. I
(04:46):
cannot wait to see what happens here this coming Saturday
in Cincinnati. It is going to be awesome. If you
have not heard by now, and I don't know how
you could have missed this. I have completely sold my
soul to promote this upcoming Mallard Meet and greet in Cincinnati.
It is on like donkey gong. It's coming up this Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.
(05:10):
We will all be together, you and I side by
side if you show up there April twenty fifth, two
till five pm. Malard Meet and Greet in the Greater
Cincinnati area at Strong's Brick Oven Pete Surrey at seven
oh eight Modernmaus Street, Newport, Kentucky, four to one oh seven.
What about a mile away from the where the Reds
(05:32):
play their games and the Ohio River and so looking
forward to checking out Cincinnati. I have never spent any
time there. I've been to the airport a few times,
changing flights. I've never actually gotten out of the airport.
So this will be fun to go around and see
what the locals are up to and meet you and
just enjoy the nice hospitality, the fine state of Kentucky
(05:54):
and the state of Ohio. So I look forward to
that and Ohio al is going to be a big
part of it. Now on to the mail so fast
clarify that before we get to the mail I did
plan on having a sidekick for the mail bag. I
reached out to multiple people who were unavailable. So at
(06:16):
the time we are recording this mail bag, and it
changes literally every week, right, you know, some weeks it's
at this time and then other weeks. It really just
depends on my schedule. I was trying to explain. I
told Terry in England last week, who was kind enough
to join us and stayed up like in the middle
of the night to be part of it. I said,
this is what I'm doing it are you available? He
(06:37):
said yeah. So I reached out to a couple people
and got blown off by all of them, which is fine.
People have lives, they have things. It was last minute,
so it's just me. I hope you'll put up with
me for the mail bag. Thank you In advance. On
that note, the first letter we have letters, lots and
lots and lots of letters. The first letter from our
(06:58):
buddy Reggie from Detroit, who almost never misses a mailbag.
And the reason he almost never misses a mailbag is
he emails pretty early in the week, which almost guarantees
that that will be on the radio or podcast. Reggie
writes and says, Ben, and guest, there is no guest.
Would you get a bodyguard robot? He then sent me
(07:21):
a link to a apparently viral video which I have
not seen, shows a humanoid robot named Edgar, who went
viral recently for chasing off a wild bore in Poland. Yeah. Yeah,
so a viral robot who was hurting wild bores into
(07:43):
a forest. Well, it turns out I did a little research,
your Reggie. It actually turns out that this is apparently
a social media star in Poland. Yeah, so it's not
exactly what it appears. Now. To answer a question, would
(08:05):
I get a robot bodyguard? Eh, I'm okay. I have
ways to protect myself. I think I'm fine Because the
chances of the robot actually protecting you, well, they might
be pretty good. The chances of the robot may be
having a bad day, or there's a glitch in the programming,
and all of a sudden you're like, well, wait a minute,
(08:25):
I didn't want that. What is that? And then the
thing like attacks you and all that. Yeah. What a
world though, man, what a world that seems like right
out of a movie, Right out of a movie. All right.
Next on the mail bag, look at this. We got
an actual letter in physical form, not an email. This
is not an email. This is an actual letter. This
(08:46):
doesn't happen very often. This letter comes from Caleb. About this,
Caleb says, He writes in I'm eleven years old. I
have listened to the show you two channel and podcasts.
Unlike Charlie in Wisconsin Boo packers, I love this. I
(09:09):
love this, Boo Charlie. Caleb's hand written, handwritten note continues,
Caleb brights. I have gotten in trouble for listening to
the show, he says. But he says, my parents have
given up on stopping me from listening. Ha ha ha ah.
(09:33):
That's great. Good job by Yes, Dedication and Caleb, we
actually have that in common because when I was your age,
I listened. I loved radio, I loved that and obviously
I didn't have YouTube because I'm kind of a lot
older than you. But I love radio and I would
stay up and listen to radio, and I called in
the radio shows as a kid. I've fond memories that
(09:56):
I am flattered, Caleb, that you have been a rebel
and you have shown the dedication, Caleb, the commitment to
listening to the Ben Mallor radio show and this podcast
where you were able to stay up, and you really use,
you know you did, Caleb, skullduggery. You use skullduggery to
(10:17):
convince your parents to allow you to continue to listen.
Good job by you. You should listen to your parents.
I think this is rather harmless and I am, as
you know, Caleb, a little biased because I host the show.
You know what I'm saying. Any email or not email
This actual letter here from Caleb. He says, I wanted
to get your opinion which two teams besides the Faker
(10:42):
Lakers are like that. That's a good line, that's right,
The Faker Lakers will blow the NBA playoffs. From Caleb,
I also sent a shout out there to Danny G.
I will make sure Caleb that Danny G knows that
you are a fan of his work. Danny has moved
on from the podcast for now. So to answer the
(11:03):
question Caleb, the I don't know if I can give
you two teams. I'm gonna give you one, The New
York Knicks the Knickerbockers. I just don't have a good
feeling about the Knicks for two reasons. They have a
worst coach this year. They got rid of Tom Thibodeau,
who I'm a fan of, Caleb, and they have Mike Brown,
(11:24):
who's a very nice guy. When you ask him what
kind of coach? We ask people what kind of coaches
Mike Brown, they say, a very nice guy coach. Well,
that doesn't really work. I mean you should be a
nice person, but very nice guy coach doesn't usually work.
So I'm a little skeptical on that. And I don't
trust Karl Anthony Towns. Carl Anthony Towns will eat, drink
and be merry and will not show up when you
(11:44):
need him most. And I've lived that life. I also
don't trust the Calves because of James Harden. Playoff Harden
and he'll play well for a couple of games and
then just rip your heart out. So Caleb, thank you
do well in school, my man. Make sure you send
me some more letters there. I am flattered to have
you as one of the younger listeners. You could be
(12:05):
the youngest person listening, Caleb, you very well could be.
So thank you and thanks to your parents for allowing
you to listen and not get into much trouble. That
fires me up, Calebs, fire me up all right. Next
up on the mail bag out back, John and Joanna
and SOCl says, Hey, big Ben and special guest which
(12:26):
we unfortunately don't have. Did not have anything to ask
this week until I heard the podcast the last Friday
about Andy Van Slike's take on Barry Bonds. Now, I
don't like to use the word hate, but when it
comes to Barry, maybe him or those cheating A one
(12:47):
one thousand and two one thousand holes. Anyway, when my
dad and I would go to Dodger games twenty something
years ago, we would sit in the left field pavilion.
At one point we were chanting steamroids at him. He
turned around, smiled and flexed his right bicept. I know
(13:08):
you're disdain for Barry Bonds, John and Joanna right in
and the cheaters he says, is there another sports figure
that you or the special guest have contempt for? Again,
no special guests. You didn't know that, John when you
sent this email, So that's fine. Who do I have
contempt for? Who really drives me bonkers? No one reaches
(13:34):
the level of Barry Bonds and the a Ros. No
one's quite at that level. There are people that do
annoy me. For example, JJ Reddick just pompous, arrogant elitist.
This guy missed every big shot with the Lob City
(13:56):
Clippers as much as we rip Doc Rivers. Who's another
guy that I'm not fond of? JJ Reddick? The fact
that this guy has no business coaching an NBA team.
It's a joke because he did a podcast with Lebron
was a great choke artist. How many wide open three points?
The guy never missed J. J. Reddick in the first quarter,
of the second quarter, in the fourth quarter. Yeah, you
(14:17):
paid him a twenty million dollars. He couldn't make a
shot that mattered. So he's up there, and there's some
random football people. Thank you John, out back, John and
Joanna for your contribution to the mailbag. Paul writes in
from Thomasville, Georgia. He says, I heard some of the
(14:38):
recent podcast, the discussion of the master's merch Paul points
out he won tickets for a practice round. How about
that through the club's lottery and they have it every year.
The merchandise building is huge and the line to get
in can take hours. I got to the course early
and did not have to wait too long. There is
(14:59):
one or two small open air merchandise stands around the course,
and Paul says during COVID they did have a small
online site. I bought a golf shirt. Email continues. He says,
if you do get an invite, you should go. TV
does not do it justice. Every green and a very green,
(15:21):
rather very every very green. If the man could talk,
it's early and extremely hilly. He says, that's great. Now.
The only thing missing from this email, Paul, is you
did not say, like like what you talked about the
experience at the practice round, like I need more details
(15:44):
on that, like you won tickets, but I want to know.
I want to hear more about it. I'd like to
hear more about it. He also says, you see Pope
Leo spinning the basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters. I did
see a clip on my feed. I thought it might
be AI. I guess that would real. You see things
these days. They're like Pope's not spinning up basketball with
(16:06):
the Harlem Globe trials. What are you're talking about? I
guess that was legit. Patty from San Francisco rites in
and says, did you see Ben that the YouTuber who
risked his life to give diet coke to an isolated
tribe on an island is facing five years in prison.
(16:27):
I remember the story, Patty, we talked about it on
the podcast. I didn't realize he was bringing them diet
coke the North Sentinel Island, which is that just blows
me away that we still here in twenty twenty six.
There are islands and places in the world that have
not been touched by the modern society. There are people
(16:49):
running around like they did in the beginning of time.
It's fascinating to me that that happens. And as far
as getting he's not gonna get five years in jail.
What are you doing though? Seriously, like, yeah, come on,
and they certainly could have speared him and they wouldn't
have been charged with a crime because it's their land
(17:10):
and they can do what they want. I will be interested, Patty,
to see how much jail time the guy gets. I'm
assuming he'll get a little bit of jail time probation,
that kind of thing. Dax from Texas rights in. It's
a rather big state, Dax. You might want to say
what city next time, he says Ben. Subway will be
giving free food for a year if you can find
(17:31):
a meteorite. Are you looking? Yeah? Let me put it
this way, Dax. If Subway said you know what we're
gonna do, We are going to hook you up with
free raising canes for a year, I would spend all
night looking up to the heavens all night to try
to find a meteorite. Okay, all night, I would try
(17:51):
to find it. If that was the case, I'd be like,
all right, let's see what we can find it. Come on,
here we go. Yeah. So nah, you know, I eat
maybe once a year, usually because I have no other options.
I used to love Subway when they had the five
dollars foot longs. Do I like paying fifteen dollars for
a foot long? Hell? No? Next up? Gary in Pittsburgh
(18:13):
writes in He says Ben, I haven't listened to every
Huber Heights hour of the show this week. Bad job
by me. But you can take some solace that if
you have to make a dick pick up that you
can check out the brand new BUCkies that open on
April six. It's located in Hoober Heights, Exit seventy one
(18:34):
off I seventy. Looks like it's just north of Dayton.
I'm surprised no one has said any about it unless
I missed it. I will see you next Saturday. We'll
see if you can figure out who I am without
an introduction. Good thing I'm an early riser because it
looks like a six hour drive until then. Gary in Pittsburgh.
First of all, Gary, thank you guy. You had said
(18:56):
you were going to be there, and I'm happy that
I'm gonna be able to meet you. So are you
going to be wearing a Steelers jersey so I know
you're from Pittsburgh, a pirate's hat or do I just
have to guess? See, this is always the awkward part
at these meet and greets because it's weird. I'm an introvert.
(19:18):
A lot of the people that are big fans of
the show are also introverts. So it's that weird feeling
out process. The good news is there's always enough extroverts
that are there that kind of smooth things over, and
I attempt to be a fake extrovert at these things.
It's cosplay. I am. I'm fired up there, Gre I'm
looking forward to to meeting you, like I said, And
(19:40):
if I do, I don't think I'll have to pick
up Dick and Dayton. I don't know if you heard
the Friday podcast A, not all heroes wear capes. So
I think we're I think we're good on that. I
think we're good on that. So if I did, I
did see that they have the BUCkies, And if I
had had to go pick up Dick, I would have
taken him to BUCkies, whether he wanted to go or not,
and I would have gotten a barbecue brisket sandwich and
(20:03):
that would have been that, and that he just would
have had to put up with it. Major Mallor, this
is from Neil, he says Major Mallor Neil from Fall River, Mass,
asking permission to get in the Malor bus. Yeah, you're welcome,
he says. I'm excited for your Boston trip. And I
was wondering if you're gonna throw a lollipop off the mound,
or you're gonna cheat. There's no cheating. First of all,
(20:25):
you understand the rules. Okay, the rules k Neil from
Fall River are I've done this a few times. I've
not thrown out of first pitch, probably has been almost
ten years, close to ten years. And usually they'll tell you, listen,
you can't go on the mound because the game's gonna happen.
And if they say you can go on the mount,
(20:45):
I'll go on the mount. And you don't need to
besmirch my ability to throw. There's more than one way
to peel an orange, there's more than one way to
make a bed, and there's more than one way to
get a batter out. And you don't have to be
jealous that I have a high spin rate on my pitches.
Neil also says, hey, Ben, I am a car guy,
(21:09):
and my dad always said worst investment is a car.
What other investment is worth nothing? After ten years? He says,
my question, what brand of cars? The Malomobile with two
hundred thousand miles, Yeah, that car is back in the shop. Actually,
the Malorimobile with close to two hundred thousand miles. It
(21:30):
is a Hyundai Sonata Hunday Sonata, which is pretty good car.
I got the Sonata because it's very roomy on the
inside and I like comfort, and I'm a big guy
and a tall guy, and there's a lot of leg
room and all that, so I do enjoy it a lot,
although it's in the shop. Again. Yeah, I will never
buy a new car ever. Now, if somebody who happens
(21:54):
to be a fan of the show happens to have
a dealership and wants to lease me a car, boy,
I'd be very happy about that. But as far as
buying the car new, no, I will only buy use
cars because, as you pointed out, and your dad properly
touch you, Neil, it's not great. The moment you pull
the car off the lot, the value of that thing
has taken a dramatic hit. So not worth a day
(22:16):
from Seattle writes in he says, Ben is your tongue out,
And then he says, there's a restaurant in China that
is using AI to recommend food after scanning customers tongues
and faces, and they're even using robots to cook up
the dishes. Are you in? So, first of all, Dave,
(22:37):
I have no plans to go to China. I know
there's a lot of our listeners in China want to
do a mall of meet and greet, very popular in
Beijing unless we're not. So that's the first thing. Secondly,
I like what I like. I don't need AI to
tell me what I like. I know what I like.
I can scan the menu and tell you what I like.
I don't need that to happen. So like, I'm sure
(23:00):
this will come to America at some point. Right, this
is going to come to America, and I'll be in
a position where I could do this if I wanted to.
I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay. Thanks for
the story, though, Dave, have you done it? Have you
gone to China? Dave? Have you gotten your face scanned
by AI? Have you gotten your tongue scanned? Shane from
Dallas rights and says, Hey, Ben, I think you missed
(23:21):
this one on the food segment. You do well. First
of all, we didn't do the food segment this week, Shane,
So that's number one. We didn't do the food segment.
And anyway, he says, Costco is introducing a new dessert
to its food Court lineup, adding a limited time Carmel
Churo Sunday to menus just in time for spring, Just
(23:46):
in time for spring. Now this does something. This does
sound like something I'd be into. I have not had
the mint Costco they added the mint thing. They got
rid of a different kind of vice. I forget which
kind they got rid of. They have mint now, So yeah,
Costco introducing this brand new dessert. The Caramel Churo Sunday,
(24:07):
is priced at two ninety nine and is available at
participating locations. It arrives. Oh, so I guess this is okay.
So this is what replaced the double Chocolate Mint Sunday.
So it appears I will not get the double Chocolate
Mint Sunday was phased out, so that was only around
for a couple months. That was launched in February. Had
(24:29):
the chocolate mint base and chocolate syrup. So this is
the new one. This looks really good. I'm looking at
a photo. I wonder if they have this in Vancouver,
Like my man Nico, you can go to that Vancouver,
the Vancouver Costco. You could get the poutine and then
have have this. Yeah, it's got brown sugar and cinnamon flavors.
(24:56):
It looks amazing, it looks absolutely wonderful. I'm gonna have
to make it effort. I gotta get that, because I
guess this is the new deal for Costco. They have
these things. They pop up for a little bit and
then just a couple months and then that's all. They're
rotating things, which is smart, Which is smart.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
J T.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
The Wingman writes in from Tennessee, and I butcher the
name of his town every single week. I butcher the
name of his town. Am I gonna do that again?
Am I gonna try? I'm not eve gonna try. JT.
I'm not feeling it today, so he says, looking very
forward to seeing you again this next week in the
Cincinnati area, and even more excited to meet Dick from Dayton.
(25:42):
As for my mail bag question, since you are a
self labeled introvert, what makes you enjoy the various meet
and greets you have done over the years. This will
be my fifth and I would say for an introvert,
you are one of the more genuine, gracious hosts I've
ever met. It motivates me to make the drives or
even fly to Vegas to do this, says sure. I
(26:06):
also love meeting the characters on the show, but watching
you interact with the characters is awesome. The highlight was
seeing you with hollering James. That was unforgettable. Then you
had Doc Mike and the wedding with spin Cycle Regina fantastic.
Don't forget about we had that was the event. We
had Eke from Roseville, Minnesota. We had, I mean there
(26:28):
was so many. Al was there as well from Minnesota.
We had who else? Uber each guy Femi Legends says,
looking forward to your answer here on the pod, see
you next week. That's from j T. Yeah. So there's
a couple of reasons. First of all, it's just it's important.
(26:49):
I feel like it's a big deal, Like it's a
very personal thing doing the doing the radio show, and
the fact that I've been able to pull this off
as many years as I have is a big test
stimonial to you guys, cause we're doing overnights here and
we have a pretty good following, and it's because of
you listening and downloading the podcast and listening to this
(27:10):
podcast and supporting what we do. And if I can
just go out and say thank you, that's like that's
a big deal. You've been able to keep me employed
other than six months and twenty six days. We won't
talk about that. That was a mistake by the company.
It's been a really cool experience to meet people, and
I love hearing the stories. I'm an introvert, but I
(27:30):
do like to hear the stories of how people found
the show, what's gone on, and what they do for
a living. I'm curious about that. Not that I necessarily
like engaging in social events on a normal basis, and
I do work myself up to do this, but it's cool.
It's really neat to hear people's stories and to see
(27:51):
what brought them there. And people listen for all kinds
of reasons, whether you work the third shift or a
lot of people have said they found the show because
they were sick, or they had a relative that was
sick and that was the reason they found the show
and they kept listening and things like that, and so
it interests me. It does interest me, and I do
(28:12):
like hanging out with the people. I do recall James,
which was just and he's still jt It's very awkward
when James calls up hollering. James treats me like some
kind of God, and it's very embarrassing, very embarrassing. I'm
looking forward to say thank you JT for driving over
there from near Knoxville. Severville, is that I say? Right? No,
(28:35):
all right, Severville anyway. Scott from Florida wrights and says Ben,
I admire your ethics as a journalist. How have you
managed to fight off the women working in sports in
order to keep your inside scoops above the belt for
thirty years? Well, fortunately, I'm not attractive, that's the first thing.
So I've got that going for me. And I don't
(28:56):
spend a lot of time in hot tubs with people
I don't know. That's usually how that goes. So those
two things, Scott. And although I don't think Mike Vrabel's
a handsome devil, you know, I don't. I don't think
he's a handsome devil, but there are different ways. I guess.
I read a book years ago that women often find
(29:16):
it's not the physical look. It's if you have power
or money that that makes you very good looking in
the eyes of some women. So Vrabel's got money and
he's got some power, so that would mean he's attractive.
I would assume, all right, Maddie from Parts Unknown rights
In says Ben, why do almost twenty percent of Americans
(29:39):
believe that they are basically psychic? He says, and then
he sent me a link to a story. Survey of
two thousand adults explored how they employ their intuition in
their daily lives, and nineteen percent, almost twenty percent, nineteen
percent of Americans one in five believe their psychic Yeah.
(30:03):
Another seventy one percent rely on their intuition at least sometimes.
Only eleven percent don't believe in it. Yeah, all right,
So Maddie, I don't know where you're from. You might
want to put your city if you want us to
give you a little more attention. So this is not
(30:24):
that outrageous, Like I am someone who goose around. I
mock that. I talk about being a distant relative of
Nostradamus and friend of Nostradinis who lives in Seattle, And
that's a little wink in a nod. And I do
know that the psychics. I've seen the documentaries The Amazing
Randy and some others about what a scam a lot
(30:46):
of that is. I get it. The thing that I
do is I telegraph things. If things are happening. I
telegraph the possible most likely outcomes, Like I had a
friend of mine who I was really good friends with,
and he met a girl, which is how all stories
(31:08):
go and take a dramatic turn, right, because that could
either be a positive a woman could be an amazing
thing for you, a great it's in your life, or
take you to the dark side. And there's really no
in between on that. And so I was good friends
with this guy and he found a woman. I met her,
and I just got a kind of a weird, weird
vibe out of it, and so I started telegraphing in
(31:30):
my head. I said, well, what's going to happen? And
I actually tried to talk the guy out of getting married.
I just had a vibe this was not this is
not good. You're just you're going to end up in
a tough spot. And I told some people in my
world that I had I don't know if it's premonition
or whatever. I just had this vision of what I
thought was going to happen. I could have been completely wrong,
(31:53):
could have been completely wrong. And several people got very
upset with me who I consulted with and said, well,
you shouldn't bring that up. You know, you're you're you're
just speculating. It's not right, and hand to God, Maddie.
My prediction was, this woman is gonna drag him away
from where we live, gonna move him out to some
(32:14):
place in the boondocks, and he's going to stop even
replying to my text messages and we're not going to
be friends anymore. That all happened. Everything I said, everything
I said happened, and literally every one of those predictions.
It slowly she was I don't know if this was
(32:36):
her deal or what did she He was weaned away
and uh moved moved very far. And I've not seen
the guy in years, since before the pandemic. It's been
a while. Julio from Albuquerque writes and says, you ready
for a chat box chat box burger? He says, Dairy
Queen is expanding his use of AI at the drive
(32:57):
through chat bots, and this continues the chain or the
trend of fast food chains testing automation to speed up service. Okay, yeah,
that's great until they f up your order. And you
know a lot of people mumble, even I mumble from
(33:18):
time to time. So how are you going to be
able to understand what somebody who's completely baked at the
drive through at three in the morning wants to order
when they're mumbling good luck. Justin from Akron, I hope
you can Akron, Ohio. Justin, I hope you can make
it to the Cincinnati area malor meet and greet this
(33:39):
coming Saturday. Justin writes and says, Ben, are you a
Nutella guy? He says, Nutella has launched its first new
flavor after over sixty years. First new flavor introducing the
Nutella Peanut two shelves across the United States. First of all,
I I think I've only had Natela a couple times,
(34:03):
and I'm not going to be getting this product. If
somebody happens to give me the product, I might try
the product. I'm not against it, It's just not on
my must consume list or big board, as Terry would say.
Jack from Vegas Rights send on the mail bag a
lot of mail this week. Good job by you guys.
If you would like to send a message in for
a future edition of the mail bag and we will
have someone with me next week. I know it gets
(34:25):
kind of dull with me. Just here Real fifth Hour
at gmail dot com. Real fifth hour at gmail dot com,
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. All letters, no numbers.
You can send a message in or you can be
like our guy Caleb and write a snail mail message.
You can do that also, whatever works for you. What's next?
(34:45):
Do we have Jack from Vegas? He says, Hey, Ben,
have you ever been to Longhorn Steakhouse? It turns out
they will actually let you order parmer jon crusted glass
wrapped around your water, and it's not just limited to
your your food. Are you in? Yes, Jack? I get
there's two steakhouses that are that are chains. I think
(35:09):
Longhorn's one of them, right, and there's another one that
sounds very similar. And I'm not sure whether I've eaten
at Longhorn Steakhouse or something that sounds just like Longhorn Steakhouse.
But I have eaten at one of the big chain
steakhouse places and it was fine. I didn't hate it.
And my theory is that anything with parmesan in it
is not a bad thing. So a glass of water
(35:29):
with parmesan sounds wonderful, you know, Andy from Van Eyes
in the Valley here in so Cow writes and he says,
hey Ben, he says, we have dueling stories for you.
I found I know you love science. Andy says, I
found two stories that were perfect for your podcast. Hopefully
you can talk about them. Thank you, and I hope
(35:50):
to see you soon. All right, Well, I don't know
how you're gonna see me, Andy, unless you come to
Cincinnati or what you're in Iaron Van Eyes. We do
the show from Sherman Oaks, which is right down the street. Anyway,
the stories he sent me here for the podcast. He says,
more time spent on social media is linked to a
thinner cerebral cortex and young adolescents the developing brain. It
(36:15):
is not good. It is not good. That is story
number one. Story number two says a recent studies from
Andy and Van Eys. These are science stories he sent
to the show. He says, a recent study published in
the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that the
way people interact with attractive strangers on TikTok can impact
(36:36):
the trust and you know what when they're when they're
actually out dating, the satisfaction when they're out dating. Yeah,
well it's listen, this is not new. The thirst trap
is the what's the way to discribe back in the
day it was just straight porn. Now it's the thirst
(36:57):
trap is kind of like porn, except it's sposedly real people,
unless it's AI and the girls have a little clothing on,
unlike the porn when there's nothing going on there other
than just you your birthday suit. So it's like it's
always been the case. It's you watch too much porn.
It affects your relationship and all that. And so I
would think if you're just looking at nothing but the fake,
(37:18):
perfect lighting, perfect camera angles, thirst traps that the ladies
put up, it can be. It can't affect your perception
of reality because in reality, that's not what you're getting. Boys,
you know, you're getting the real thing and all the
warts and the moles and all that. That's part of
the deal. Mike from Jersey rites in and says who
(37:41):
would have imagined? Ben that Pepsi says after lowering snack prices,
they're getting more business now that more people are buying
Pepsi snacks because they lowered the prink. Yes, we need
the Golden Age mic of a reversal. I feel like
the last fifteen to twenty years it's just been up, up, up,
(38:01):
and way. How much can we price gouge these people?
Professional sports is the absolute worst. The worst of the
worst is in professional sports. It'd be great. And the
Atlanta Falcons did this a little bit by lowering the
price of concessions, and good for Arthur Blank and the Falcons.
Way to go. I'm sure Tommy in Atlanta, who I
believe is going to be at the Mala meet and
(38:21):
greet this Saturday. I'm sure Tommy appreciates if he goes
to a Falcons game he can get nachos and peanuts
and all that for a reasonable price. I'm sure he
appreciates that. So yeah, good job. It's not shocking. It's
I could have told you that you didn't need to
hire some firm. Okay, Dwayne from Harrisburg, PA writs and
(38:42):
he's been Can I go on a cruise and get
paid as well? And then he points out there's a woman,
a forty five year old woman from Caddedy, Forna. From
here in Cannedy, Forna. This woman from California won a
three hundred thousand dollars lawsuit after she was served more
than fourteen tequila shots on a cruise ship and had
(39:05):
a serve fall or severe surffall severe fall. All right,
so she got injured. That's what this is about. I
used to listen there was a show called Handle on
the Law with Bill Handle, who I met at KFI
back in the day. And this is the kind of
thing I learned from listening to that handle On Law
(39:26):
to the way to make real money at this you
have to be really seriously injured, like you have to
have things that negatively affect the quality of her life
in order to get paid, you know what I'm saying.
So I've never been on a cruise ship other than
the Queen Mary, which does not count because it doesn't
go anywhere. It's anchored to the LBC. So yeah, all right,
(39:52):
we're going to get out on this. I love this
story from mail in Kansas City. I hope you've had
the Ben Mallard chicken fingers there at the landing in Liberty, Missouri.
If you live in Kansas City. It's a must if
you're a fan of the show. Liberty, Missouri. We had
a Mallard meet and greet there a couple of years ago.
It was great. Check it out, all right, So Mel
(40:13):
writes in, and he points out that there's a guy
that runs a restaurant in China. By the way, how
many of these stories come from China? Did they just
make these up? Are these all legitimate stories? China must be?
What a wild place China must be with all the
crazy zany stories that come out of China that start
(40:34):
with a blank. From China anyway, this is a restaurant
owner in China has gone viral. Mel says he got
upset with influencers, and he told the people that came,
you know, the social media influenced in China to come
to view his restaurant. He told them to not say
(40:54):
good things about his establishment, do not leave a good review,
do not make a nice Why this guy claimed that
his life will be too hard. My life will be
too hard if customers come in because of your good reviews.
How great is that? That's a guy that says, I
(41:15):
like my job, I don't love my job. I don't
want to work too much. Please don't make me work
too much. Please please, please, please please. That's what that is.
It's freaking hilarious. All right, thank you all for your messages.
There are a few others that we didn't get to, but
this has gone way longer than it was supposed to.
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again.
If you want to be part of next week's mailbag again,
(41:36):
we will be recording a little earlier next week because
I am going to be in Cincinnati, so we'll do
the Friday one on Friday and then the other ones
will do a little We'll call him Evergreen. So if
you want to be part of the mail bag next week,
make sure to send your questions in earlier. Real fifth
Hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail
(41:57):
dot com. I cannot wait for the week ahead. I'll
be back on the radio tonight, same time, same bat station.
Enjoy that we'll be hanging out talking NFL Draft week,
the baseball weekend, whatever else is going on, whatever pops
that we have decided is worthy of conversation tonight. You
(42:18):
can send that in on the radios. Listen. Just listen
eleven PM in the West tonight. It's two am to
six am on Monday morning in the East, and we'll
talk to you then. Aloha, Bye bye. Population
Host
Ben Maller
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