Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, and a happy Saturday to you.
It is on like Donkey Kong, just hours from now.
It is the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mallor and
Danny g on location, on location, from a very secret
(00:49):
location in the bowels of a hotel in downtown Kansas City.
It is the Fifth Hour, and Danny, you are not
not here, but in spirit you are here. As today
it is green Light Go. We talked about a lot
yesterday on the podcast, and I've been trying to promote
the heck out of this. The Maelor Meet and Greet
(01:10):
at the Landing. I guess you could say I have
landed at the landing. Well not yet. I'll be there
later today at two o'clock local time here in Kansas City. Obviously,
what doesn't matter if it's three o'clock in the east.
But we're in Kansas City. So fired up, Danny, big Malar,
meet and greet today. A lot of schmooze time, good
schmoozing on the horizon today, So I'm excited about that
(01:32):
and really fired. I'm gonna have the Ben Maller chicken fingers.
Had a little barbecue last night. We'll have the chicken
fingers today and then probably just fall asleep right after
because I can get up ridiculously early for the Chiefs
game tomorrow against the Broncos. But I'm looking forward. It's
gonna be just a whirlwind weekend here, Danny Whirlwind.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's a good thing for you that Mahomes has very
flexible ankles and hips, because otherwise you would have been
walking right into a funeral.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah. No, I realized that. And if you could have
heard the amount of profanity on Monday night that I
was saying when Mahomes was getting helped off the field
against Tampa Bay, I'm like, oh, come on, you got
to be joking, right, I mean, here I am. You
know it's my one trip to Arrowhead. You know, I
know you're a Raiders fan Danny and this is enemy
territory and I get that and I respect that, But
(02:26):
for me, it's like, hey, I'm excited to go to
Kansas City experience. I've heard the tailgating is amazing at
Arrowhead and all that has to offer. And I wanted
to see Mahomes. This is the new dynasty in the NFL. Right,
you had Brady and the Patriots. Now you got Mahomes
and the Chiefs. I'm like, ah, here's my chance, here's
my shot. And I see him hobbling off the field
on Monday night, I'm like, if this f that, blah
(02:48):
blah blah blah. I mean, I'm going nuts. And then
it turns out he was fine.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, And we've seen people in the past with pictures
of Patrick with his shirt off and stuff like that,
and people have put that picture out there on social
media making fun of his quote unquote dad Bod. But
that was very much dad Bod power, because you ain't
flexible if you're DK Metcalf and you're all cut up,
like you had an allergic reaction to something.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, I know, I mean it was it was nuts
because I watching him was like, Wow, he's I'm gonna
watch Carson Wentz. I'm flying to Kansas City to watch
Carson Chiefs And I was like, I don't who wants that.
Nobody wants that. I saw him with the Rams last year.
You know, he's a backup, That's what he is. He's
a backup at this point. So anyway, he will be playing,
and as far as I know, everyone will be there.
(03:37):
I don't know. If you know my friend Tabo Swift,
you know we're friends unless we're not. Ah, you are
a sexy lady. I don't know if she'll be Who knows,
who cares. I'm gonna have a good time and I'm
looking forward to meeting everyone today again two o'clock till
four o'clock over at the Landing in Liberty. I'll be
(03:58):
heading over there. My friend Bob Fesco from ninety six
point five to the Fan will be there and exciting news.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Dan.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Unlike every other Malard meet and greet. To my knowledge,
I don't remember ever giving anything away, but I am
told from sources close to the situation that the promotions
department at ninety six point five the Fan here in
Kansas City has provided a handful of merch some t
(04:29):
shirts and way, wow, let's go. We will have some
merch from the station here in Kansas City. So I'm
excited about that and hopefully j T will make it.
JT the Wingman's said he'll be here. I've had RSVPs.
I said this yesterday, and I always repeat this caveat
people say hey, I'm going to be there, and then
(04:52):
like life gets in the way, right, life gets in
the way, they don't end up doing it. But I've
had people from Iowa, from Texas, all over parts of
Missouri and Kansas, which is right across the way here,
who have said their planning and coming out. So we'll
see who shows up. But either way, as always is
to be great. The people at the landing have been
so wonderful over the years. And this is two different
(05:14):
restaurants this family has owned in Kansas City, and they've
had the Mallard chicken fingers on the menu at both establishments,
and so it's it's pretty cool. So that's what's going
on today, and then you know, at some point, I
do think I have to sleep, Danny. I didn't sleep
on Thursday. I didn't sleep on Friday because I did
(05:37):
the overnight show. I did the podcast and then I
had to run to the airport to fly here. Not
that I'm complaining. It just sounds like I'm complaining. It
just sounds like, but I'm not really complaining. These are
good problems to have, right, There were much worse problems,
and we had a rough week, Danny, Right with some
friends of ours, you know, unfortunately lost their job or
(05:58):
whatnot this week, and so that that was always tough.
So it's a good problem to have. I'm not complaining.
It sounds like I'm going.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, there were a lot of November layoffs, unfortunately in
our business, and it posed the question I saw on Facebook.
Somebody asked because they work for one of the major
broadcast companies, and they said, would you rather be laid
off before Christmas or after Christmas.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I've actually thought about this because I got laid off
after Christmas. I got laid off on January twentieth of nine,
was when I met my maker in radio the last time.
The last time I met my maker, which is has
been fifteen years almost. But I've determined after a minutes
long mallor investigation, Danny, there is no good time to
(06:42):
get let go. No, no, there's no I mean, whether
it's before Christmas or after Christmas. If you love your
job and you think you're doing a good job and
you're helping the company out and you're earning your money,
there is no good time to be like, oh, and
I you know, it was a weird week because, as
you said, a lot of people in our industry lost
their job this week. And I sleep during the day
(07:04):
as you know, you know, you work the shift, and
so I wake up too, and I thought, you know,
did somebody in my family die or something like that.
It was my phone was just filled with with text
messages from from my friends in radio, like hey, did
you hear this guy lost their job? Or that you
know that woman over there he's gone, And so it was, uh,
is not what you want to wake up to. But
(07:25):
it's nobody died. As far as I know, nobody died.
They let's you know, work somewhere else, or we get
podcast jobs, which is normally what happens right when you
leave radio, you just move into the podcast space, and
that's kind of what you do. But we're doing both, right.
We got the podcast and the radio, so we've got
the best of both worlds right here. Yeah, So when
we get whacked. They'll say, but you're still going to
(07:45):
be on your podcast. Yeah, I say, all right, Well,
as long as you're paying the full amount, I will
be more than happy to the podcast. No, no questions asked,
no questions asked. So this past week, you know, we're
hanging out. We're excited about to meet and read. But
this past week hanging out. On Saturday, I had a
(08:07):
very full day, a very full day, a lot lot
going on. I had to do some things with the
wife in the morning. We're driving all over the place,
and then we were going to go play miniature golf.
On Saturday. I had not seen my cousin. She's been
sick for a while. She had some medical stuff, but
she's feeling better now. She was like, hey, you know,
she lives in one of the few cousins I have
(08:28):
in the area. Pretty Much everyone in my family, my
side of the family, has just relocated, either they've died
or they've relocated far away from California. So my cousin,
she said, she was feeling better. She's got two little
kids who even though we're cousins, the little kids call
me Uncle Benny, which is I get a kick out
(08:49):
I'm uncle Benny, even though I'm not not their uncle,
but when you're a little kid, everyone is older is
like an uncle. So we were going to go play
miniature golf and we had a very very rare and
inappropriate spat of rain. It wasn't really rain, it was
more like it was like a drizzle type situation. You know.
It wasn't much, but it was enough where of course
(09:11):
the people didn't want to go miniature golfing because that's
outside and God forbid you standing in a little moisture.
And so we decided to change it up and we
went to the place right next door to the fund Zone,
which was a bowling alley. I have not been bowling
in at least ten years, and it was on. It
(09:34):
was on Benny the bowler returned and I used to
love bowling back in the desk. Number one participation sport
in America, and I had not been in a bowling alley,
Danny you forever. And I walked into place was packed
people having a great time drinking beer and you know,
eating nachos and just wonderful, great energy in the bowling alley,
(09:56):
and it's like, this is the perfect sport. You sit
around most of the time. You eat, you drink, and
then every once in a while you go and your
fut's around with the ball and you and you roll
the ball down. But it was so embarrassing. So I
had my my my sister in law was there, my cousin,
and all the little kids that are in my circle, right,
all the little kids and talking like from age like
(10:19):
four or five to like nine tennish in that area.
There's a bunch of kids. Actually there's one a couple
of years older, like twelve or thirteen.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Orders.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
So we're all there and I come out, you know,
I'm mister sports guy. You know, I'm you know, a
sports radio guy, and I grab that bowling ball and
I go down there and right in the gutter. Uh
and uh So then I get, you know, the ball
comes back and I'm I go and right in the
gutter again, and the kids are mocking me. The kids
(10:50):
are like, oh yeah, what happened? You know, everyone's mocking me.
Uh and so. But eventually it was about halfway through
the round that I figured out I remembered just muscle memory, Danny,
it's muscle memory with this, like you I didn't bold
and so long it was a disaster at first. It
was so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I thought I was going to ask you at first,
because that's a really bad game to be cold with,
to have not practiced in a long time.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, it was embarrassing. And it was even more embarrassing when,
like the little kids now, they did cheat. They use
they had the bumpers, which I'm not gonna do. I'm
not gonna lie to you. At one point it was
so bad, they the people I was with, mocked me
and turned on the bumper. They turned on the little
bumpers so the ball wouldn't go in the gutter. I
am such a radio loser. Yeah. The kids were actually
(11:37):
doing better than I was, and they were like kind
of giving me the side eye. What's wrong with you?
You know, you're old, You're an old, old loser, and
uh you know, look at us, you know we're little kids,
and uh so it was so funny. I love I
love the little ones, little munchkins, because you know, I'm
sitting with the adults and you know they're boring, So
(11:59):
I go hang out with the kiddos. Right, and my
my niece, she says, you're not allowed to be over here. Uncle, Benny,
you're old, you know you gotta go hang up. So
she kicked me out, and I'm like, crap. So I
had to do the walk across to the other side.
And but it was it was a lot of fun.
(12:20):
I had a great time. And I plan on. I
guess I'm I'm really getting old now, Danny. I plan
on bowling semi regularly. That's that's the goal. It's not
that expensive. It's fun. And it's not that you get
any exercise, because you don't. There's no exercise. You just
take a couple of steps and fling the ball. But
it's it's great. And maybe I'll just like buy a
(12:42):
bowling shirt. That's like the next thing after you get
into bowling. You have to have like a bowling shirt
and buy your own bowling shoes and all that and
that how that works.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I think, Wow, I just pictured you as Uncle Buck
pretty much.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I'm head in that direction at this point in my life.
I am absolutely hitting that direction. So I I had
a great time. It's now my concern. I was saying
about this as I was I was coming into the
studio the other night. When I when I went in,
I was thinking about my weekend you know. And I
was trying to process what I wanted to share with
you the listener here on the podcast, and and I'm thinking, like,
(13:15):
is that just because I hadn't been bowling a long
time that I liked the bowling, you know what I mean?
Or is it do I did I genuinely like the bowling?
Or was it just a product of the fact that
I hadn't done it? So it was kind of different,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
One of those things, Now, are you better at ax
throwing or bowling?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
How dare you listen? That was? That was bull crap
video that you saw of the act throwing and the
real ones that were there that they did not try
to sabotage me. No, that by the end of that
night at the Mermaid, I was pretty good. I was
pretty good at throwing axes. And I'm like a Paul
Bunyan type axe thrower at this particular point, I am.
(13:59):
And if that ever, you know, I don't know what's
gonna happen today, Dan, we're here in Kansas City for
the Mala meat greed. I don't think they have axe
throwing at the landing, and I don't know, maybe they do,
probably not but if there's any kind of nonsense here,
there will be anarchy, Danny, but not that kind of anarchy,
if you know what I mean. You know what I'm saying. Okay,
I'm just pointing that out.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, you better take everybody's cell phones away, like Derek Cheeter.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a little with your basket when
you come into the landing today, Like put your phone
right there and zip it. It'll be like a like
a Diddy party, right, No party, like a Diddy parties.
Lebron said, there.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
No campus, no campus, Yeah, Ben, this is obviously a
political podcast. Wrong, third Rail, my man. So you were
on the air when Trump gave his speech, right.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yes, yes, we were on the air. Now. I didn't
really bring it up, but we were on when he
announced that he was going to return to the White House.
He's coming back.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I was live on the radio with you the first
time Trump was elected. Do you remember that, and we
simulcasted his speech.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I vaguely remember that. I just remember from that time
the craziness of people freaking out that they never thought
he would win the first time, and it was kind
of similar. I felt like this time then, politics, my man,
Third Rail, my man.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
But yeah, well, you know, some people were scared that
there would be problems out there on these streets, and
I think all of us were like, hey, we can
be adults here. If your candidate didn't win, hopefully you
could act like an adult, not go out and burn
a bus and push a car over with some help
from friends, riot, loot and pollute. I'm not panicked, but
(15:47):
I was confused because the morning after, I'm scrolling through
the news on my phone and I'm reading different articles
about the numbers and how everything happened late.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
At night, and I smelled smoke outside. Jerk yourself away, what.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Is going on? So I open up my patio door.
It smelled like the mountain next to us was on fire. Well,
now you just can't leave crap. I go to the
Ventura County Star online, and sure enough, there is a
huge mountain fire. That's even what they're calling it, the
mountain fire. But turns out, I don't think this has
(16:23):
anything to do with what happened in politics. Huge fire though,
ben And in fact, early on this Saturday morning, I'm
inside a taco bell in my area that's open early
for breakfast. Last weekend, I'm at some nice hotel in
Seattle doing this podcast with you, right, yeah, yeah, not
(16:45):
so much this week. It's kind of our life in
radio one week or five Star in the next week.
We're PBJ.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah. You know, this reminds me when I was doing
local radio. They sent us to the World Series. We're
in Cleveland, me and the great Jeff Biggs. So I've
had on a podcast and we didn't make it to
the broadcast location. So this is so long ago, Dan,
you'll appreciate this. We broadcast from this like skid Row Hotel.
(17:10):
There were two payphones next to each other, and we
called up on we were each on a different payphone.
We called up and did our show from payphones in Cleveland.
And it was October, it was cold, it was fall,
you know that that old thing. And uh yeah, I mean, well,
that's the great thing about audio content, right, you have
to the show must go on. You have to do
(17:32):
the show. We have to do the show, and so
you have gone above and beyond the call of duty.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
These winds have been whipping around so crazy. Our power
has been off here and there, and internet definitely is
a problem. In fact, the Starbucks they've been closed two
days in a row with a handwritten sign that says
closed because of fires.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, real professional sign on their front door. So y,
so I'm broadcasting bright and early from this taco bell
about to get me a scrambled egg burrito here. Ben,
you know, the podcast goes on no matter what happens.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, the show must go on. The show must go on.
And with that, Danny, I present to you one of
the great quotes of our time. Marie Antoinette must be proud,
the famous quote she supposedly said when she heard that
the commoners had no bread, she said, famously, let them
(18:30):
eat cake. And I feel like that's what the listeners
of the Overnight Show have said to me. Let them
eat cake on the Ben Malor Show. So we ate
very well.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Now.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
We have had a problem getting our mail. It has
been well documented. I don't know where the mail goes
when you send it to Fox Sports Radio. We have
a mail room, but oftentimes we never actually get the
mail in the mail room. I don't know. It must
be like a second hidden mail room. So people have
been saying, hey, we sent you some stuff and then
we never got it, and we were kind of annoyed
by that, and we're like, oh, what is that all about?
(19:03):
And all of a sudden, I think it was Monday
or Tuesday. This week we got the mother load of
mail and we did eat a lot of cake, and
not just cake, all kinds of desserts. Some of it
was hand delivered. My right hand was getting a workout.
I want to thank Darren. We call him Donut Darren
(19:25):
on the show, a big fan, lives in the OC
and he works out at the Port of la And
even though he's a Giants fan, I like the guy.
Seems like a nice guy, and he stopped by. He
knows from listening to this podcast on the radio show
that I've been dying to get my hands on an
apple fritter donut. I've tried for about a month. Every
(19:50):
time I've gone to the donut shop, they're out of
apple fritters. It's been very upsetting to me. And so
Donut Darren's like, Hey, I know a place it's open
twenty four hours. I'll go buy a dozen donuts and
I'll drive him and deliver them. And that's exactly what
Darren did. He'd stop by and it was great to
you know. He told some stories about his life and
(20:12):
he's growing up. He's probably around our age, Danny, give
her take. And he would go to games at Candlestick
Park than in the frozen Tundra where the Giants played
for so many years and the forty nine ers s.
We're telling stories about that. And he hung out with us,
and so I got my apple fritter. I had a
bare claw. Just just wonderful, just great. Love the donuts,
(20:34):
in fact, that donut shop, which I thought he worked for,
but he does, and he works. He works at the
Port of La is so good. I'm probably gonna go
back there. It's in Huntington Beach and I'll probably go
back at some point. Then I really want to thank
as well Michael from Providence, who's a super fan of
the show, super p one of the show better known
(20:55):
though as The Dawn of Little Debbie and every four
months or so. I'm not sure exactly what Michael does.
I assume he works as a distributor for Little Debbie,
but I don't know, maybe not, Maybe he's just he
knows people, but he hooks us up with whatever the
seasonal treats are from Little Debbie. For example, he sent
(21:17):
a box which was about the size of the state
of Rhode Island where he's from. Well, you know, he said,
it's a small box, but if it's the size of
the road, it's pretty big, right compared to us. So
he sent and it was filled with all the Halloween
Little Debbie treats with the pumpkins on them and all
that stuff. And he also sent a couple of cool
(21:38):
T shirts. His son is on the offensive line at
the high school there in his town in Rhode Island,
and so he sent me a high school T shirt.
Was was kind of cool, and you know, I looked it up.
I was always curious with these high schools because every
high school, if you've been around as a high school
for like forty or more years, chances are somebody went
(21:59):
to that high school that ended up doing something of note,
whether they are a politician or entertainer or athlete, musician.
Chances are, over two generations at least one or two
people made it. You know, you go to places like
town's in Rhode Island where they've been around forever and
(22:20):
ever compared to the West Coast. So this high school
in Rhode Island turns out to be the one that
our friend, Michael's son is playing football at is the
same high school that produced Joe Missoula, the head coach
of the Celtics, and Rocco bal Delhi, the Minneso Twins managers.
(22:40):
So that was kind of cool, like, wow, there's been
some interesting cats, some other NFL people, baseball people went
to this high school, this random high school in Rhode Islands,
a small town in Rhode Island, and very cool. He
also sent me a T shirt from there's this ren restaurant.
(23:01):
I don't even know what I don't know what kind
of business it was, but it was named Benny's. Maybe
it was a restaurant and it was it was named Benny's,
and somebody had sent I think it was Alf had
sent the logo. He sent a photo months ago, and
Michael's like, Hey, I think I can get you a
shirt that has the logo from this place called Benny's
on it, which is no longer in business. And I said, boy,
(23:23):
that would be pretty cool. I'd add that to my
shirt collection. Now have a lot of shirts I wear
when I'm getting ready for the show, kind of during
the day, my lounge around the house shirts. And so
he tracked this thing down and he sent it to me.
So I added a couple of a couple of T shirts.
But wait, there's more. Wait there's more, Danny, Because I
would like to think, and I wish I knew who
to think. Some cops from New York, upstate New York
(23:47):
sent a box. Now this box was the size of
like Lake Erie. But it was not to me. It
was not to me, Danny, it was to Lorraina. So
it's the one that had duct tape on it. I
think that, Yeah, I think that's the one you saw.
There were a couple of boxes, but I think that's
the way tip right, massive right. I'm not gonna lie, Danny.
(24:09):
That was a big cock. Dare you the uh she
opens about and and they they they guess they're police officers.
I guess one of them is no longer a police officer,
and he he works in the snack industry, the snack
food industry. So this box was filled with chips and cookies,
and I mean they were all kinds of things in there,
(24:31):
and Loraina shared with everybody, so we all got a
bunch of chips and cookies and snacks and uh whatnot.
And so I want to thank them. I I don't
know your names. I don't remember, so I can't you
didn't send it to me, so I can't give you
the old fifth hour shout out that we don't can't
do anyway because it's not a morning podcast or not
Joe Rogan, we can't do shout outs like those those
(24:54):
people do. But so thank you, and I uh, I'm
still waiting. By the way, I remember during COVID we
were yapping away and I had a couple of couple
of police officers that were like, I'm going to send
you a hat from my station and then because they
wanted me to wear it on the YouTube videos. But
I never I don't think I ever got those hats.
Maybe they were lost in the mail or something. Maybe
(25:15):
that's it. But it was great. So we had a
lot of fun this week. Good food. We had Manuel
from Guardina came by and he had delicious sandwiches. So
we had sandwiches, we had donuts, we had cookies, we
had chips. I mean, we had a little bit of everything,
and it was awesome.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Manuel dude is a famous AM five seventy caller.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Oh yeah, he's a Jim Rome guy and he goes
way back and he mean, we're dating ourselves. But he
listened to me when I was starting out as a
young whipper snapper, when I was doing the old original
Ben and Dave Show in the late nineties. So that's
almost thirty years that he's been listening. And yeah, he
came by. He also is a long shortman, and he
(25:57):
brought his buddy with him, who is also and works
at the works at the Port of LA. I have
a feeling we do. We do very well at the
Port of LA. We should just do a remote like
at one in the morning from the Port of Los Angeles.
We would kill it in terms of listenership because those guys,
I mean the apparently nothing else on and they listen
(26:19):
to us as they're moving commerce from from Asia. All right,
we'll get out on that, Danny. Today is a big
day for me. Two till four, Malard, Meet and greet.
If you're here in Kansas City or within reasonable driving distance,
I'm looking forward to meeting you. Come on down say hello.
We'll be there for a couple hours at least, and
(26:41):
don't forget T shirts from our local affiliate here in
Kansas City. Ninety six point five to the fan, and
I'll be there. My friend Bob Fesco, the big morning
radio guy here, he'll be there as well, so really
excited to see. Hopefully you can come out and hang
out with us and we can catch up and whatnot.
And Danny, godspeed with your WiFi, and hopefully everything will
(27:06):
come back to normal soon enough. But thank you for
going above and beyond the call of duty and making
a run to the border for some taco bell.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Yes, and I'm sure pretty soon I'll be making a
run to the bathroom on this fine Saturday.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Absolutely, just make sure you flush and use the proper
amount of toilet paper on that. We'll talk to you
next time later. Skater by Flat