Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sol fastion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio and it's just me on
the Sunday podcast. Who the worst day of the year
for the body clock is today? Today, the eighth day
(00:53):
of March. As we changed the clock at two in
the morning light Savings time we sprung forward, which I
assume you know by now, And I'm not gonna do
my normal rant. For years on this podcast I have
done a rant and rave about how ridiculous this is
(01:18):
and how stupid the flipping of the clocks. I don't
care which time you pick, just pick a time. But
daylight Saving Time has started and observed every March eighth.
I guess not every March eighth, but this year it's
obviously March eighth, which is today, and yah, move the
(01:41):
clock forward one hour. We and then later on you
revert back to standard time. Dumb the dumb, dumb, dumb.
And I'm a little disappointed that Benjamin Franklin came up
with the idea of resetting clocks to save money on electricity.
(02:02):
He said, well, I'll save some money, why not. I
was back like the seventeen hundreds, and then there was
some other English guy that came up with the plan,
was the first true proponent of daylight savings time, but
it was not until nineteen eighteen. All the way in
nineteen is this came up originally in the seventeen hundreds,
and then in nineteen eighteen they said, oh yeah, let's
(02:25):
do the daylight savings thing. Yeah that works, why not?
And it was during World War One, and then in
World War Two there was some more futsing around with
the clock. But I just I hate it. I can't
stand it, despise it, and it's just going to be
the next couple of days. It's terrible. And a couple
(02:45):
of years ago there was a push to change this
and just set one time. And it's days like this
that I wish I lived in Arizona or one of
the other states that does not futs around with the clock.
But I'm not going to go on on that. We
have the mail bag to get to. So let's strike
up the band. Ohio, al get me in the mood, Ohio. Aw,
(03:07):
it's this mail bag all right. These are actual letters
by actual listeners. We have not had to beg for
messages in a long time. You guys have been great.
(03:28):
We've got new names, which I love. The podcast is growing,
and as it is a dawn of a new day,
as we were doing this year, early on on a Sunday,
we begin with a staple of the mail bag. Someone
that I don't believe has ever called the radio show,
(03:49):
Reggie from Detroit. Reggie says, Hey, Ben and Danny, I
wanted to get your thoughts been on that guy that
called this week. I think his name was Tom. He says,
I think you're referring to Tom who The guy claims
to be from Texas, and Reggie says, is he a
legit caller or a plant? Why would someone call your
(04:10):
show multiple times? Who hates the show? Reggie in Detroit.
First of all, Reggie, thank you for sending the message.
I appreciate that and listening on a regular basis. So
I have not spent much time investigating this guy, Tom.
I do have boots on the ground, the investigative wing,
the MiB AS. I like to call it the Malard
(04:33):
Investigative Bureau. There have been some people that have gone
around and messed around on the internet, found some information out.
This guy's been very open about posting nasty stuff online
and all that. I don't know much about him. I've
just read some things. Reggie. It sounds like he's a
failed radio guy and he just didn't make it because
(04:57):
he was not very good at radio. And he's upset
because people are on the radio and so and he's
a troll and all that. And I get it. You know,
radio is hard, it's not for everyone. It's the hardest
medium to do, especially doing a solo show. And then
the guy apparently was an abject failure at radio. So
I get it. I am. I'm not upset. I mean
(05:17):
it's great, it's been a good bit for the show
that he doesn't seem to like it. I don't know
if it's stick. It might be shtick, who knows. And
it's good, you know, you do the show, and you
hope people like it. It doesn't really matter whether they
like it or not. I get paid the same money
whether you love the show, you hate the show, as
long as you listen. And there's a tournament goes back
(05:39):
to the nineteen eighties called the Stern Effect for Howard
Stern before he went woke and now wants everyone to
like him, when he was just doing outrageous bits, just
crazy bits on the radio back in his heyday, before
he lost his fastball Howard Stern. And they did research
the radio stations determine at the people who really hated
(06:00):
Howard Stern, they couldn't stand him, they thought he was
a pig and all that, and he, you know, may terrible.
They listen longer than those who absolutely loved him, and
they why is that why? And as well, we want
to make sure that the people that hated him, they
didn't want to miss an opportunity to be outraged, to
be angry. People love to be angry, right of all
(06:23):
the things to get angry about an overnight radio show, right,
And it's like if you don't I've always said this,
but if you don't like your restaurant, I don't I
don't go. You know, I don't like your restaurant. I'm
not gonna hear anymore. You just don't. You don't go.
I don't like. I'm not wired that way. I know
you don't. It's not an airport. You don't have to
(06:44):
announce your departure. You just that's it. So but thank
you for I guess being concerned. Rich You were just
asking why this guy would Tom that's the name he's using,
would would call it? You'd have to ask him. Uh,
Danny in Nashville, Now you send me a question. Danny's
he's hanging out in Miami these days. But I wanted
(07:05):
to say Mazeltov to Danny in Nashville. I'm very proud.
I feel like I should be the godfather because Danny
had his first child. His son arrived recently. He sent
this email a while back. I somehow it fell through something.
I apologize to Danny and your lady there, But congratulations
(07:26):
to both of you. That is awesome, And I'm excited
that you're going to be able to listen live because
you're going to have a little You have a little guy,
and you'll be able to stay up late because kids
have problems sleeping and all that stuff, and so I'm
just very happy for you, very happy for you. And
Danny did have a good line. He says, Hey, his
(07:48):
kid can now snore along with hollering gips. I did
not get the name of his child, so email me again, Danny,
let me know the name of your son. Or maybe
I missed it. I did see some really cool photos
and I saw you right there. You look a little
different than when you were hiding in the bushes outside
these studios there in Sherman Oaks. You're all grown up
(08:10):
now and your dad. That's pretty cool. Mike from Wisconsin
writes in on the mail bag. He says, Hey, Ben,
I've heard you talk about Logan Paul on your radio show.
Are you concerned about a lawsuit? Mike says that Logan
Paul said this week he's going to sue people that
call him a scammer. And yeah, Logan Paul apparently said
(08:32):
he's looking forward to dealing with people who have called
him a scammer through legal action. He says, as they're false.
Narratives are out there about him online. So to answer
your question, Mike, the percentage of concern that I have
for being sued by Logan paul is zero. I'm not
(08:56):
a social media influencer this time of the only one
Benny versus the Pennies on So I'm not a social
media influencer. I also have been educated by an army
of lawyers over the years, working at all these big
radio companies, mostly Fox Sports Radio, but I've worked at
other companies and what we do, and I think you
realize this if you listen. It is an opinion based show.
(09:18):
Oh my god, it's an opinion based show. I often
say things like this is my opinion or as we
understand it, and a pure opinion. You're in this country.
I don't know about other countries. I don't worry about that.
But in this country, a personal viewpoint that does not
(09:41):
assert or imply any kind of factual claim is protected speech,
very important protected speech. It cannot be the basis of
a defamition lawsuit. Now, you could sue for defamition, however
you would not win, the case would be thrown out
and you'd get buppkus. However, an opinion that implies some
(10:06):
undisclosed facts, or if it's phrased in a way that
a reasonable person would take as a factual accusation that
can be defamation. You can look at my webinar if
you want on that. Defamation, from what I understand, requires
a false statement of fact that harms the reputation. Opinions
(10:33):
do not qualify. You are entitled to your own opinion
and editorials, commentary, obvious hyperbole, which we love. We love hyperbole.
They get even more protection. So I got even more protection.
And oh, by the way, hurt feelings and unfair criticism
(10:54):
do not meet the legal standard for defamation. So yeah,
you learn that right away. I've had people I've worked
with that have been sued for things that they said
on the radio, and you learn how to avoid that happening.
It's not that difficult. It's once you learn the little
(11:16):
things you can say, it's not that hard. But good
luck to Logan Paul. I'm sure that'll go very well
and he'll make a lot of money and be very,
very wealthy, as he needs the money. Hose from Dallas
writes in, and I'm pretty sure this is the first
time we've gotten an emailer who wanted to ask about
(11:36):
F one racing. Jose says, Ben. I know you're not
a big racing guy, but yeah, he says, did you
take in the big F one story this week? What's
your opinion on that? Apparently he sent me a link
here to a story from some website I've never seen.
(11:56):
Aston Martin's F one car was unable to finish the
race at the Australian Grand Prix, said the driver Fernando Alonso,
risked major health problems and he had to go only
fifty eight laps and because of he felt like he
(12:21):
was being electrocuted as he was driving his F one car.
But I'm not an F one guy open wheel racing.
I did watch the Brad Pitt F one movie with
a giant bucket of popcorn. I did watch that. I
did watch that. My goodness. Was it like an electric
(12:41):
chair instead of a driver's seat. Maybe they go down
to San Quentin or something like that, So can we
get the driving? Can we get the electric chair? We'll
put that in there. That seems very odd. I wonder
how that could happen. I'm not a car guy. I
like my car, but I'm not a car guy, not
really a shoe guy. I don't know what kind of
guy I am. I guess I'm a dog guy. As
I did that rant the other day, and then what else?
(13:05):
A'm a I'm a not a foodie. I just like
what I like and that's it. Uh, what else do
we have here? Let's see? Uh? Dave from Indiana writs
and says, hey, Ben and Danny. I try to catch
the podcast at least every other weekend when I'm up
(13:26):
early doing doing things around the house. He says, I
wanted to thank you for the the lou Holtz monologue
this week. It was it was like, I think you
meant touching. I don't know what word. I don't know
what that is. Ah, well, you don't have to. There's
(13:47):
no need to thank me. I've never liked doing eulogies.
I have not enjoyed doing eulogies. I don't know anyone
that does. However, whether this is a pot or negative
depends how you look at I guess it's a negative
that there's a positive that it grew out of it.
(14:08):
There have been so many people that were a big
part of my life, whether they're pop culture callers to
the show, and I've I feel like I've got a
little better at the eulogy thing. The biggest monologue that
we did last year was the Hulk Hogan monologue. I'm
still getting emails about the Kobe Bryant thing when he died,
(14:33):
and that was before the pandemic years ago. I don't
enjoy it. I really would just stay away from anything
that was death and all that. Next up is legally
Blind Christopher, who is answering the question that I posed
on the air. I said, your complain about the weather
in London. You whine about that? What is going on
(14:56):
with you, legally blind Christopher? And he writes, since is,
dear mister Maller, I live in London for two reasons,
and then he gives the reasons. Six thousand miles from
his ex. Well, that's pretty good free mass transit for
me instead of having to walk eight miles a day
(15:19):
in Charlotte, North Carolina to get what I need. That
sounds like a nightmare. And he says, plus I have
work and a new family here in London. Look at you, Christopher, Hey,
look at that. All that happened in the last couple
of years. That's pretty well. So six thousand miles Does
(15:40):
that mean your ex now lives on the West coast
of the United States? Am I correct on that? Let
me know in your next email, fill me in on that,
all right. Next up, we have Gary in Pittsburgh, writes
In on the mail bag. He says, Ben, I was
listening to your buddy Steve Zabin on his Wednesday podcast
and he and his guest were talking about Arby's buying
(16:03):
Buffalo Wild Wings back in twenty eighteen for two point
nine billion dollars and Gary says I was absolutely for it.
And Zabe and his guests both remarked that they said,
where did Arby's get two point nine billion? And he says,
Gary says, that's an under the radar event that has
(16:25):
been kept very hush hush. I guess bad roast beef
makes a killing unlesslie are experts at as Danny G
says money laundry. But I want your thoughts. Well, Danny's
unfortunately not here. I will try to remind him next
time he's on the mail bag, hopefully next week. I
will let him know about that. But my goodness, he says, ps,
(16:52):
if you make it to Ohio, I will be there
with the Orum's cinnamon rolls. Well, that would be amazing. Gary,
that's a re to go right there. And we are
I say, we, not me, but we mentioned last week
on the Mailbag, there has been a listener that has
stepped up. I don't know if they want me to
(17:13):
give their name or not, but a fan of the
show who's in Cincinnati, in the Cincinnati area who is
boots on the ground and he's he's got some ideas
on some venues that could host the mallor meet and greet.
So we're hoping that that all works out and we
can make it happen. And that's typically how this goes,
unless somebody just sets up the whole thing, like Mike
(17:34):
the Leprechaun and our friend Mike and New Hampshire are
planning on doing for the big Boston Worcester meet and greet.
Outside of that, normally it's like, hey, I need somebody
who's actually there because you live in the city and
it's kind of obviously I don't know what's good and bad.
I could go find a restaurant or a sports bar
to go to. It very well could be on the
(17:55):
wrong side of the tracks and no one's gonna go.
And so I want to go to a place that's
class and people want to go to and it's safe
and all that, and so that's where we are on that.
What else do we have to see? Page down here?
Felix from Fresno. I don't think we've had an email
from Felix before. He says, Ben, I know you and
(18:16):
Danny don't like traveling very much by planes. Will this
change your opinion on United Airlines? And then he sent
me a sort I saw this the other day, actually, Felix,
But the United Airlines is changing. They changed their code
of conduct and now passengers who fail to use headphones
(18:38):
while listening to audio or video content, those infractions can
get them on the no fly list for United Airlines. Yeah,
how about that. I don't like all the rules. You
shouldn't have to put a rule in this. I feel
like this is one of those things, Felix, that should
(18:58):
be common sense, like the fact that society is at
a place where you have to put a rule in
to just be polite. It's a communal space. You're stuck
in a tube thirty thousand feet in the sky, and
if anything goes wrong, it's turnout. The last the parties
(19:22):
over and the amount of people that get on planes
that don't shout, and you're probably sending this Philixes of
the rant I did about the the airlines and all,
but but the amount of people that show up that
don't have simple decency the quorum, It's like, what do
(19:42):
you live? Are you raised by like Neanderthal? Like? What
are you doing? I feel the same way when I
go to the beach during the summer whi's getting summertimes
not not too long from now, and the people that
are out there and they've got their boom boxes and
they're just blasting the music. But it's not your private
(20:03):
beach bozo, Like, dude, what are you doing? So I
don't like that. They have to put a rule in. However,
if you're watching video or audio stuff and you're just
having it blasting, it's affecting other people. So yeah, and
that is a big pet peeve. It gets people's blood boiling,
(20:26):
as it should. It's a very territorial thing. Barry, the
hostess with the most is my guy. Barry put together
What a great meet and greet we had in Charleston,
South Carolina a little while back. I was down there
to visit my niece, who loves Charleston so much that
she has stayed that's her home. She lives in Charleston,
(20:49):
South Carolina, and I know Barry is still trying to
get out of there, and for some reason he's still there.
But you know, hey, I know he's trying to get out.
I know he's trying to get out. He says, Ben,
now that you can make now that you know you
can make money from TikTok, when can we expect to
see your TikTok account it's from Barry. Yeah, so this
(21:10):
is one of those things. The guy that filled in
for Coop one night has worked behind the scenes, Brandon
at Fox Sports Radio, and I really talked to him,
kind of an introvert like me, and so we don't
really talk. When you put two introverts in the room,
not much happens. There's not a lot going on. So
(21:30):
he's like, yeah, I make some money. And I was
asking them some stuff on the air. I asked him
some stuff off the air. And I've always been like,
I'm too old for TikTok that I'm not No, I'm
not doing that. I'm starting to change my opinion. I am.
I'm not gonna lie. I started looking around like, oh,
maybe I could do something with this and a couple
(21:52):
monologues a day and they don't even have to be.
They don't have to be mini, they don't have to
be MODELOG. You can just be he said, one minute.
I do four hours of opinion based radio. Do you
understand how easy that would be, how little work would
be required to do a one minute rant about whatever?
(22:15):
So I am looking into it now. On that note,
Barry Tony, who lives, he says, in the greater Philadelphia area,
but not South Philly. Whatever that means, he says, Ben,
I believe your matrix theory is picking up steam. I
wanted to see if you saw this. This is a
story from a CEO of Twitch, and I did not
(22:41):
see this, Tony, but I thank you for sending it
my way. It does back up my worldview. And the
headline headline says a top Twitch executive encouraging streamers to
buy view bots because good content is not enough. Oh spaghettio.
(23:11):
All right. So, in a post on a different social
media platform, the Twitch executive explained that bots are going
undetected and Twitch benefits from this. Hello, That's exactly what
I've been saying, because more viewers look better when it
comes to advertisers, exactly. And this is my point. This
(23:32):
has been the rant I feel like, I'm going crazy here.
I'm one of the few people that is pointing this out. Now.
I learned this years ago. It's all fogayzy, it is,
and it is either people want to ignore it, they
don't want to bring it up. It's I keep going
(23:52):
back to the Wolf of Wall Street, right, I go
back to the Wolf of Wall Street, and they're going
on and on and on and all that stuff, and
nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up or down,
sideways or fucking circles, least of all stockbrokers. And then
(24:15):
he goes in that whole rants all food gazy. You
know what a fugazy is for Gaysey is fake fu
gazy fo ghazi. It's wazy, it's woozy, it's very dusty.
Doesn't exist, it never landed. It is no matter. Blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That's Internet
view counts. I'm telling you, it's been this way for years.
(24:38):
All right, back to the story, So thank you Tony
for sending this. By the way, if I didn't thank
you already. The executive from Twitch says that he claimed
that viewbots, which you can buy, is important for anyone
looking to grow, even if the growth is done by
those nefarious methods, And the quote continues, I would never
(25:01):
explicitly say you should bought your views on Twitch, other
than in the title of the article. But you know
what that means. Kids. But the reality is, if your
view botting and everyone else is, if you're not viewbodding, rather,
if you're not viewbodying everyone else is, you're at a disadvantage.
(25:25):
There you go close quote and he's not wrong. And
again I go back to the stories. I'm going bonkers here,
the people on TikTok who had all these down loads,
and dumb people who work at websites that aren't social
media based, like these old newspapers which are just websites.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Now, this person had two million views on their song
and okay, and then they try to sell tickets and
friends and family buy tickets.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
That's it, friends and family buy tickets. Next up we
have Enie Meenie Miny Mo Scott from Florida Wright since says, hey,
Ben and Danny, what's a sign in the wild that
someone is a costco member? For me, it's the the
Puma tube SOX. I don't own anything else. Puma, But
damn if I don't have fifty pairs of those white
(26:18):
tube socks in the closet. And I see other Puma
sack guys all around town. Almost all of them are
Costco shoppers. Well I'm jealous, Scott. I don't have a
lot of Costco clothing. By the way, how's the day
shift going? Have you gone to the day shift? Have
(26:40):
you have you done that? I think you're I think
I'm right you're going to or were you going to
the night shift? I'm confused. Maybe you were going back
to the night shift. I don't know. It's early. There
was a freaking time change. I have no idea anyway.
What is he's asking? What is the sign someone's a
Costco member? Well, you really would know until you went
(27:00):
to their house and found the seven gallon tub of mayonnaise,
the twenty five gallon container of pretzels, the five pound
thing of M and M's. You got to go into
the storage the pantry at the house, and then you'll say, oh,
that's Costco. That's Costco. Clearly, Tom from La thank you, Scott.
(27:25):
I hope things are going well for you. Tom from
La right sences McDonald's launching Crocs keychain toys in the
new basketball Happy Meal. Ben, are you going to go
back to Mickey? The's no, I'm not interested. I don't
wear Crocs. I don't have a problem with Crocs. Some
people have a very strong reaction to Crocs. I'm not
(27:47):
that person. So enjoy. If that's your thing, I'm good
on that. Now, if that's worth some money, we can
revisit this and say, well, maybe I should go back
and get some of those. So the promotion begins is today.
(28:08):
The eighth begins March tenth. It includes so a couple
of days away, includes miniature crop keychain toys inspired by
the footwear brand Signature Clogs, a collab bringing basketball theme
collectibles to restaurants along the annual high school showcase, which
(28:28):
I guess is coming up in Phoenix, Arizona. So there
is that. Yeah, I mean they look kind of cool,
and that looks to me like something that will go
for a fair amount of money for people that collect
random crap. Tom Shane in de Moine writes in he says, hey,
(28:50):
Ben and Danny, Oh, no, Shane's in Dallas. I got
shaneon to Mooyne on them. Sorry, I got my Shanes
mixed up Shannon Dallas. It's early, I'm telling you, that's
my default excuse. It's early. So a man had to
be rescued by firefighters. He got trapped into a phone booth,
(29:12):
or as they call it in London, a phone box,
while trying to order a kebab, and then Shane in Dallas,
not the Moe. Shane in Dallas, says Ben, how could
this happen? Well, Shane, I wasn't there. I'm looking at
a photo of this and it's in Manchester in the UK,
and these are these classic. When I think of London,
(29:34):
I think the first thing I think of was the
double decker bus. The second thing I think of is
the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, and then
somewhere a little lower after Big Band and some other
things after that. I then, at some point I get
to the red phone booth. You would think, though, just
again common sense not being very common, that you would
(29:57):
look inside. There's windows on this thing. You say, okay,
there's no phone in there, Because this story says this
guy got in there and he realized there was no
working phone, and then the door shut behind him and locked,
and there was no way for him to get out,
so his friends were there and they called firefighters to
(30:17):
get him out. You'd think, whynton just use his friend's phone,
But who knows. Rick from San Diego rights into the mailbag.
He says, Hey, Ben, can you let your friend in
Vegas know that he better not take a whiz with
his glasses on? Yeah, I don't know. Rick sent me
a story about meta glasses. Does our friend in Vegas
(30:40):
use meta glasses or does he use some other kind
of glasses? Are there other kind of glasses? I'm gonna
assume he knows. I'm gonna assume our buddy in Vegas knows.
But yeah, this story is that the metaglasses, the people
behind them have warned users that when they go to
take a nice dump, that everything they're doing is being
(31:03):
reviewed by humans. That these meta ray Man smart glasses.
They've sent out this mass warning that whether you're dropping
a deuce, you're wiping your toukis, you're making whoopie, or
you're maybe by yourself adjusting the joystick, it's all going
(31:24):
to be on on camera. So yeah, I don't have
to worry about that. I do wear glasses I inherited
from my dearly departed parents, the bad vision. A sasquatch
Willie that sounds like a real name. He says, he's
in the Greater Seattle area. He writes in he says, Ben,
(31:49):
how come this was not a bigger story? I know
you like UFL stories. A declassified UFO going back thirty
five years, A giant glowing spear over a military base
has been confirmed, and yet nobody seems to care. Yeah, well,
welcome to the modern times, the zeitgeist of the times.
(32:13):
Sasquat twilly. He sent me a bunch of UFO stories
as UFO hotspot uncovered or around underwater canyons off US coasts. Okay, well,
that one goes into my long standing theory. I say,
long for the last couple of years that I have
(32:34):
believed what we're experiencing is some other life form that
shares the planet with us. And they say here in
this story, right off the West coast, three regions of
the West Coast, La Joya, and San Diego. Then there's
a canyon in central California and also Monterey Canyon that
showed unusually high concentrations of UFO sightings compared with the
(32:59):
population based expectation so the theory is there's some stuff
going on at the very bottom of the ocean. And
then Willie also sent me a story that NASA scrubbed
the moon landing mission for twenty twenty seven and he
says there's claims there's an ancient city on the surface
(33:21):
of the Moon and that's why they're not going to
go because humanity is not ready for that. Okay, that
would be great, that would be amazing, and there are
people that would know. I'm pretty sure they've sent things
all over the moon. We also talked to I think
(33:42):
it was the last week about Mars, the Mars things
not happening elon Musk going to Mars. They were going
to go to the Moon. So anyway, we'll get out
on that. I'm gonna go try to go back to
sleep and have a wonderful rest of your Sunday. This
freaking daylight savings time change thing, beach and these loser
(34:09):
politicians they don't have the balls to change it, do something.
This is something that is a bipartisan issue. Anyway, I
can go on here, I get out of here, have
a great study. I'll be back on the radio tonight.
All things being equal, will be ranting and raving behind
the powerful microphones of Fox Sports Radio, and we'll talk
(34:30):
to you. Then got a murder. I gotta go.