December 10, 2022 • 35 mins
Ben Maller and his 5th Hour homie Danny G. are having fun for your Saturday, talking the Light Show, Share With the Class, the Steak King, Pop Goes the Culture, Back Scratcher, and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, back
at it on a weekend, no days off, no days off.
Here The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g
Radio where I don't have my sound effectively deep in
(00:46):
the weeds of the podcast do Joe, don't worry. I'll
put one of your famous drops right here. Ben. Oh,
thank you. I love Tom Brady. I would cuddle with him,
that's how cool he is. I am. I did like that,
unless it was in bad taste, and then I didn't
like it. But I it's the magic of stitching the
podcast together and that's the beauty of it. But Danny,
(01:12):
here we are yet again. We've made it to another Saturday.
Now you're back. You're married. Is life changed in amazing ways? Now? No?
Except for if my wife he complains about anything. I
think to myself, Fuck, am I stuck with this forever?
(01:33):
You've got the lifetime agreement? Buddy. Uh, there's no getting
out alive. So you've got that. Welcome to my world.
But yeah, so anyway, in this podcast, we've got the
light Show, share with the class, the steak king unless
you're not, and we might try a new feature, Danny,
(01:55):
I hope you're wearing your seatbelt. Pop goes the culture
you're thinking about that, we've got back scratcher if we
have time. And so there's a lot too to get through.
But this actually relates to what you were just talking
about when you got back. You got married. You know,
everyone goes through that when you marry someone. You're like,
if you get married, you're like, oh, wait a minute.
If anything goes wrong, you're like, wait, whoa whoa, wait
(02:15):
a minute, what's going on here? Well, she also did
some really nice things this past week where I was like, Okay,
I'm good with this all the time. Okay, alright, so
there's a yeah, you got the good and the best,
the facts of life, right, you gotta take the good
with the bed. And then all right, so a bit
of a holiday ker fluffle that I need to break down.
(02:36):
I need your perspective on Danny, and you'll probably go
through this at some point here in the near near future.
So holiday season, the season of lights and joy and
and all that, and UM been through. We've all been
through a lot the last couple of years with the
COVID stuff and I so anyway, I moved. I live
(02:57):
in in the new I've lived in three places is
the last couple of years. But we're in the final
final Mallard mansion. Shouldn't move again. Something's gone terribly wrong
if I end up moving again. So it was. We
were debating last weekend to put on the Christmas lights
at the new house. Right, you've been to that house
and so uh my wife said, was a new house.
(03:19):
We need to get new lights. And I was like,
all right, whatever. Final. So we went and got some
new lights to hang, and she picked some stuff out
and I went to Walmart did the whole thing. There
were hundreds of people to find lights and the whole
so we loaded up and so we got back and
we're gonna put It was too late to put the
lights up the day we were planning on doing it,
(03:40):
because we we had do some other stuff and so
then the next day we didn't have a lot of
time because you have to shower after you left the Walmart. Well,
I like Walmart, My, my, Why you don't like well,
you know a Walmart. Figure, man, Just those fluorescent lights
alone in there make me feel creeped out? Yeah, I don't.
I don't give a crap, and I focus on the deal.
(04:00):
I'm all about the deal. And I'm a tight one,
which actually relates to this story, because I have a
tight one. So we we were supposed to put the
lights up, I think it was on Saturday. Didn't do that.
So then Sunday to work day for me, watching football
and all that. We a little window to put the
lights on. And my wife had to work and all
that too, and so we were in a bit of
a rush, and we were trying to find the timers
(04:23):
and all the other auxiliary stuff to hang, like extension chords,
stuff like that. It's a whole to do to put
these things up. I couldn't find them anywhere. You know,
We're still going through a bunch of stuff, got a
bunch of stuff in boxes still even after all this time.
So I made a decision, Danny that got me in
(04:43):
the doghouse a little bit. I decided we had spent
so much money in years passed on these timers and
extension chords and all that's like, you know, why don't
we just wait until we buy you know, why don't
we wait until we find I didn't want to read
buy the stuff? Okay, so good, you agree with me.
But my wife's like, you know, let's go by, come on,
let's just go buy a a timer. And we we
(05:06):
we looked all over. We couldn't find it. But I
just I hate buying rebuying stuff unless it's broken obviously
then you buy it or whatever. So a little bit
of a disagreement that uh am I the ball humbug
guy Danny. And also, is there a statute of limitations
on when if you don't put there was this debate
(05:27):
we had where if you don't put the lights up
by a certain day, you then can't put the lights up.
See I think you can put the lights up at
any point, but I was I was educated that that's
not technically true. Whoa who was gonna know exactly what
day you did it? Are some Christmas light inspector is
gonna come over and hang a grade on your front
(05:49):
window exactly. That. That's that's kind of my logic. My
thinking is, well, you know, most people don't pay attention
to other people's houses, and we're gonna have a bunch
of people over for her parties and whatnot for the
holidays and all that. So when I just put them up,
and yeah, they're paying that close of attention to your house,
they're probably the wet bandits that was. That was the
(06:13):
light show. There was no light show. Stay tuned, though.
We will have updates dandy going forward on this podcast.
We will have exclusive nobody else has this coverage. Will
the lights go up or will the lights stay down?
And uh and and the wife was so kind of
annoyed with me. She's like, we'll just return the lights
that we bought. I don't want to return the lights, right,
(06:34):
that's a drastic measure to return the lights, you know
what I'm saying. That's a drastic measure. So do you
think you're gonna find that timer today? Hi? I hope.
I I don't know, though. I it's we've got so
much stuff. It's I might have to cave in. I
might have given and up buying one, but I'm gonna
give it the old college tried, Danny, I'm gonna open
(06:56):
up as many boxes as I can, okay, and we'll
find it's a race against time because it has to
be done today. It's got to be done today. And
if not, that's it so ironic since it's a timer.
I know, I know, I know, I know. But every
year you add a few more things, right, So I'm like, well,
(07:17):
we got enough stuff. We don't need these timers and anyone.
But maybe I'm the Maybe I'm the douche. I don't know. Anyway,
it was speaking of passing things on and sharing information
and all that, Danny. There's a lot of things in
that realm that we can talk about, right. Yeah. Since
getting back from the Islands, I've been back to not
(07:40):
only the radio show with you and Covino and Rich,
but also to the classroom for the three times per
week that I go in there and open up the
campus at the middle school. I've talked about Sam, the
eighth grader, who has brought up certain things, certain topics
of conversation were at my debtsk I have to say
(08:01):
change the topic. Please, uh, Sam, don't talk about that
with the seventh graders. Please, are you saying that Sam
believes in going to the third rail, Ma Miam, the
third rail. If Sam was on the radio, he would
be a shock jock. Okay, he goes the extra mile. Yeah,
or he would at least be pushing the envelope a
(08:22):
little bit. So I'm sitting there reading my book. I
have a classroom filled with mostly seventh graders, and one
of the counselors at the middle school walks into my
class and comes up to my desk and says, congratulations,
how was it? Tell me about it? And so I
(08:43):
kind of, you know, give her the thirty second version
of the trip to Hawaii, and uh, I didn't get
to talk about David and his drinking or any of that.
I told her she could find the extended remix on
the podcast here. So she's laughing about the podcast, which
she has listened too before. So shouts out to that
counselor and she leaves. Now, none of the kids realized
(09:07):
I was even gone, Ben, because they were off school
for a whole week because of Thanksgiving. Oh yes, right, yeah,
so they didn't even know. They were none the wiser
that I was gone. But Sam, he was listening to
this counselor talk to me after she leaves. He says,
what do you do in Hawaii? So I told him,
(09:28):
and he walks over and he looks at my ring
and very loudly so all the seventh graders could hear him,
he said, that's awesome, Mr g Now you're allowed to
have sex. Uh. And the seventh graders start clapping and applauding, Oh,
(09:48):
you gotta an ovation. Congratulation. Man, Uh, you're now allowed
to make whoopee congratulations. Yeah. So I'm like, man, this kid,
Oh my goodness, damn, change the topic. Please, Hey, Sam,
back up and punt here. You might want to punt
at this point here, it's about fourth down. You had
a long way to go here. You're not gonna make it. Sam, Again,
(10:11):
he reiterated that I'm now allowed to do this. That
sounds like a parent saying you can't fool around until
you get mary. That's where that sounds. Yeah. And if
you remember on a previous podcast, I changed his name
to protect the innocent and the guilty. He's the same
one who asked me to explain gay sex to the classroom. Yes, yeah,
(10:36):
in his repertoire. And I expect no less from this
eighth grader kids a firecracker. This kid huh yeah, man, wow,
that's my favorite part. That was the ovation the kid outstanding. Yeah,
if you're not embarrassed enough as an adult. Lots of
clapping because well, when you're around the age, when you
(10:57):
when you do end up doing the in the dirty,
the sideway shuffle, you do feel like you deserve a
standing ovation when you finally accomplish that. But I don't
know to actually get one, but fortune favors the bold Danny.
So wow, that's that's hilarious. Man. That is that is
too much. So the steak King has a right. I
(11:22):
didn't realize this, The steak King has arrived, Danny. I
posted some photos more of my cooking, cooking with Benny
and all that stuff, my recent cooking sojourn, and I
had no idea the number of members of the Mallard
Militia that are experts, professional chefs, Danny, that can critique
(11:46):
my cheese steak sandwich. Everyone an expert, right, I'm getting
tips here, they're pointers there. That doesn't look quite there's
not enough cheese. What it's the wrong kind of cheese
touching up my work here, And I'm like, listen to
everyone in a while, I'll post a photo what I'm doing.
(12:06):
And I happened to be watching the Pack twelve championship
game with USC in Utah. That was the last Friday,
a couple of fridays ago, and I cooked the cheese.
They got a buddy of mine over gambling, buddy of
mine over watching the game, and we had USC. We
lost the bet by a ton, but when the food
was good and so I made the cheese steak and
(12:26):
I got that tasted great. It came out pretty good.
But people are pointing out all that was wrong. It
didn't look right, this didn't look now. There were a
lot of people, to be fair, that we're kind and
we're nice and said that I needed to share the
recipe and all that so. But of course, as always,
you know, Danny, it's the people that are total assholes.
Those are the ones that you remember. It's not the
people that were nice and say how great it was
(12:48):
and how wonderful. No, you remember the other people. The
ones you're talking about are the very reason why I
examined a photo before I posted, because there's things in
the background that you're not paying attention to necessarily until
the first asshole points it out and then some other
a holes jump on his bandwagon. Ye, you need to
(13:10):
teach that skill to a guy named Edmund the Mermaid
Garcia over there, because Eddie, he has no filter. Eddie
has taken three of the worst photos I've ever taken
in my life and posted them immediately on Twitter. Stop
Eddie immediately on Twitter, and he doesn't even look at
(13:33):
them or doesn't like try to take another photo, a
better photo. Make people look as slim as possible. It's
all angles. And then if their skin looks too pale,
you go in there and you fix the color of
the picture and their skin. You can make somebody look
like a hundred thousand dollars instead of minus ten dollars exactly.
(13:55):
That's the And be polite. It's a polite courtesy to
do for those as of us that work in this
world where we were somewhat we're on the totem pole,
but the very bottom with the mushrooms when it comes
to celebrity. Come on. Uh So anyway, I mean people
were going back and forth on that. I got into
some hearty discussions. They were ripping the fries that they
(14:16):
made in the air fryer. But I think the air
frre is a way to go, Dany. I don't. I
don't know you guys use the air frre. But that's
a wonderful way to cook heat up food. Yeah, great,
it's I'm all about the air fryer. Yeah, we do
sweet potato fries in there. Yeah, we got a new
air fryer. We went next level at the Mallard Mansion, Danny,
because I you know, during the week, everyone's busy. My
(14:38):
wife's working, I'm working, and so it's it's it's just
throw some food in the air fryre. But you know,
I like my chicken fingers and my fries, but I
don't want them to cook together. So we got an
air fry This is like a boss air fryer. This
is the Boss. Two different compartments. One side. You can
put the fries, one side the chicken boom done done. Yeah.
(15:02):
Next level. Wow, it's officially a mansion. Yeah. Now you're impressed, right.
The ice machine and that what more does one need?
I wanted to take your ice machine home with me
after the Halloween bash. They're not the coolest thing, man.
Ice machine, game changer, game changer, and you don't need
it when you're young, but when you reach a certain
(15:22):
like middle age, you need an ice machine. It just
makes life better. Ben has an ice machine that is
unlike any other I've seen because it makes that sonic ice,
the ice everybody craves. Ben. Yeah, it's like restaurant quality ice.
And now we didn't buy it new. We we gotta
kind of re refurbished. But knew they're really expensive. But
(15:44):
you can get them for a somewhat reasonable price on eBay.
In different places you can get them for for a
lot less. So but I do recommend that if if
you're looking for an extra gift for the holidays, the
ice machine a a way to go. So I want
to try a new feature, Danny, this might be a
complete disaster. Normally when I tried new things, it's a
(16:05):
total quagmire. And hopefully this will not be the case.
But we're gonna a little bit of pop goes the culture.
This doesn't have the number one station anymore. Is its
week one? It was a hitam, but some of the
other I did a spelling be for a while. I
don't know if you were with me when they did that,
and we we learned that the average overnight sports talk
(16:28):
radio caller cannot spell cannot spell the number one. If
you spot on the oh, they can't spell the number one,
It's it's a bad situation. So we we tried that
for a few weeks, and I had these great visions
of how fun this would be the spelling be, and
we would throw some really exotic names out, like Mark, Grizzolonic,
(16:49):
things like that. And it turns out that many of
our callers and I listen, I love the people that
call the show. They go balls to the wall, they
support the show. They're fans of mine, fans of yours,
Danny and I thank them very much for that. But
we're all good at some things and all bad at
other things. And it's just it was an eye opening experience.
It was an eye opening experience that if you if
(17:12):
you said, hey, can you spell ban uh, and they wouldn't.
They wouldn't be able to smell Ben. It's just it's
very strict. So anyway, so the way this works, pop
goals the culture. These are actual pop culture stories that
took place this week that I might not have mentioned
on the radio show. Maybe you mentioned it on Covino
Enriched Danny. I don't know, but we'll we'll go over
(17:32):
these stories here and pop goes the culture. The first
story is a story that happened the other day, reports
that the White House made a trade with Russia for
Brittany Grinder. The they call her a w n B
A star. I don't know about that. I don't know how.
You know, there's not many people watching that w n
(17:54):
B A so I don't know about that one. But
the trade went down. It was a one for one trade. Now,
we're in the business of grading trades in sports radio,
so I would like to grade the trade as I
understand the trade, Danny. The Russian government traded w NBA
(18:15):
player Brittany Grinder, who spent several months in a Russian
gulag on drug charges. She was let go, traded in
a swap for an international arms dealer named Victor Bout.
I believe is the gentleman's name there. Uh that that
is the transaction that was made. And so on the
(18:39):
Mallard report card, I give the United States and F
and I give Russia an A plus for Vladimir Putin,
so he gets an A plus and the White House
with Joe Biden they get unfortunately, and F I have
to do it on the Mallard report card. This is
a terrible trade, Danny, on so many levels. It's not
(19:03):
an even trade. It's like trading an all star criminal
for you know, a toddler. What are you doing right?
What are we? What are we doing here? Well, I
think they thought Biden's administration thought they had to get
her out of there once she got to that work camp,
because there was a couple of weeks there where they
didn't even know where she was being moved to. And
(19:26):
you know the conditions of those work camps. Once you're there,
all bets are off. Well, this guy I was reading
about him. I guess I'm not up Eddie. Unfortunately I
could do Eddie, Danny. Excuse me, I'm not up there.
I'm here at I know, but exactly, but I am
not up Danny on my international arms dealers, Okay, I'm
(19:48):
not up on them. And so I was reading about
this guy we're paying you all this money for. I know,
I've clearly failed the listeners. So this guy that we
traded for traded to get Britney Grinder back. Uh. And
that's the biggest trade in w NBA history, by the way,
there's never been a bigger trade in w NBA history
about was being held at mary In Prison in Illinois,
(20:10):
that famous prison, the federal prisoner mary in Illinois. And
he had been arrested by the d A in Thailand.
There was a sting operation back in oh eight. He
was convicted of conspiring to kill Americans. Right to kill Americans.
He was since the twenty five years And we traded
(20:31):
this guy he wanted to kill Americans for Brittany Grinder.
What kind of deal is that? Now? Were there any
cash considerations or players to be named later? Now, there
were a couple of draft picks because Biden said FM picks,
We'll throw some picks in there, and he traded a
couple of other picks down the line, but picks FM
(20:52):
picks here. You go, alright, the trade trade done there.
So yeah, that's not that's not a good deal, I mean,
and then said I was reading a story. There's a
teacher I don't know you size is this American guy
who's in in Russia who had something similar to Brittney Grinder.
The guy's rotting in jail. The guy's rotting in jail.
(21:13):
Why don't we Why didn't we make it a two
for one, Well, he was supposed to be part of
the package. Man, I don't see him. I'm looking at
the I don't see it. Never been part of this conversation.
For months, America wanted to for that one that they wanted,
So we didn't even get the deal we wanted here, No,
I mean when and these are these are low level
(21:35):
people Britney Grinder and the teacher, and you couldn't make
that trade. I mean, what kind of negotiation is that?
Come on, now, you gotta hire a better GM gonna
make that trade happen. Shame on you, all right? Next
up on pop goals the culture. Well, here's an interesting
story from the New York New York, New York area.
(21:56):
There at least forty five people have claimed to have
had bigfoot encounters in New York County. Wow, Danny g
They claim they have spotted sasquatch. You got you gotta
be kidding me? Right? Come on? Well, even though they suck,
(22:19):
and they've sucked for years, the Nicks do have some
of the biggest celebrity fans. Yeah, come on, now, where
are you at on bigfoot? Some of the pictures I've
seen look legit. But how come they're all blurry. And
this is one thing Covino has said on the air before.
He's like, what if Bigfoot just as blurry? Yeah, that's
(22:46):
what it looks like though from all the photos. But
here's the thing I can't get over, Like, if Bigfoot
is real, wouldn't there be a body? Wouldn't Bigfoot die
in the forest and somebody would come along bigfoot body
and say, right here the remains a Bigfoot. Not if
Bigfoot can live to be twenty or something, and we
don't know even if, but even if Bigfoot lived to
(23:10):
be three years old, at some point, like these whales
out in the there's that that that turtle that turned
a hundred and ninety this week, at some point the
turtle is gonna die, right, at some point that the
turtle is gonna be. That's it the end. It will
be the remains of the turtle. Like Bigfoot, they seem
(23:31):
to all be by themselves, don't they. You never see
like families a Bigfoot. Where is the family? Are they
living in a cave somewhere? Where are the other bigfoots?
And what would a group of bigfoot be called? And
that's good, that's right? And where where the where the
baby bigfoots? And how can you have another bigfoot? If
there's only if they live by themselves and they don't
(23:53):
live with that male female, so what the hell? These
are all interesting questions that I would like if you
saw a group of a family of bigfoot, would you say,
oh my god, look at the big feet over there,
Teaquille O'Neal Bigfoot. I've seen very big feature George Morasson
(24:15):
back when I covered the NBA Bigfoot, Big big man
shacks real game US shoes into the studio back in
the day, remember, yeah, yeah, massive human being size of
a small boat. That turtle, Jonathan the turtle, by the way,
the oldest tortoise in the world, they claim, whoever they
are the Guinness Book of World Records. I love the
(24:38):
fact that that turtle is older than toilet paper. That
the older than a bicycle. It's crazy. Yeah, those things
are dinosaurs. Those in the the blue whales, right, isn't
that the one that lives the longest, the giant blue whales,
unless they get they get killed in in the Japan
(25:00):
or whatever, unless they get harpooned, Yeah, harpooned. But if
they live now, all right, pop goes to the culture.
Next up, we've got this Do you see this story?
I guess it's an actually an old video, but they've
made a documentary about It's been bouncing around the internet
this week. I hadn't seen it before. I just saw
this week this former c I agent. I'm gonna go
(25:22):
full George Nori in honor of George who was on
our podcast long ago. So a former CIA agent who
worked at Area fifty one, on his deathbed made a
bunch of confessions about what he saw at Area fifty one.
Do you see this one? No? Yeah, So this is
(25:43):
very interesting to me. And I used to listen to
Art Bell back in the day, and so I was
kind of into the whole alien this Area fifty one,
that whole deal. But this interview was actually done many
many years ago, but it just popped up again this week.
This seventies seven year old dude who used to work
at the CIA. He was an agent. He worked for
(26:05):
the CIA from nineteen fifty seven to nineteen sixty And
I guess he had actually done an interview on Coast
to Coast many years ago, and he did. He didn't
give too much information away, but on his deathbed he
did another interview for these documentary guys and went into
great detail about being on the base at Area fifty one.
(26:27):
Said there were living aliens there. There were a bunch
of artifacts from alien accidents that they had, like pretty
much everything. And this guy goes back. He's pretty convincing,
old dude, but who knows, maybe he was he was
making it up, but he gave all these revelations. The
videos on YouTube you can find. Let me see if
(26:48):
I can find the name of it. It's deathbed confession
by former CI agent on UFOs. You can probably type
that in uh. But he said, this goes back to
when President Dwight Eisenhower was in control. He was working
with the CIA. He got sent to the Area fifty
(27:08):
one because Eisenhower was preparing to attack Area fifty one
because they wouldn't tell him what was going on, So
he sent this guy from the CIA. And this guy
went in there and got all the goods and saw
that we're live extraterrestrials there. That's wild. Yeah, I kind
of go back to my That goes back to one
(27:29):
of my crazy theories data that the the iPhone here
like stuff. I think it's like alien technology. I think
a lot of the modern advantace, Like do you think
how think of where the world was in like a
hundred years ago as opposed to two hundred years ago,
and like the amount of progress that has been made
(27:50):
in the last hundred years. I think good technology was
taken from one of their spacecrafts. Yeah, I think they
reverse engineered. Whether it's raw as well or something we
don't even know about. I think they this is not
something we had. Like everything's gotten so crazy good. Yeah,
(28:12):
over the last you know, maybe I'm nuts, I don't know,
but that's my no. I needed to pay a bill
really bad the other day and I only had the
password info locked into my laptop. But I'm on the road,
don't have WiFi for my laptop, And I thought to myself,
I said, wait a second, I'll just take the hot
(28:32):
spot off of my cell phone and log onto the
internet through my laptop on the freeway. Crazy, what I know, right,
What the hell? So I'm on the four oh five
freeway paying a bill through my laptop through WiFi that's
through my cell phone. It's it's it's insane, Like, um,
(28:56):
you know the fact that I can broadcast the show
from my home studio and it can broadcast all over
the world. It's it's it's nuts, absolutely nuts, the technology
that we have today. And you think about they, you know,
the science community will say when they went to the Moon,
the U S went to the Moon for the first
(29:17):
time and planted the flag and all that, and there
were a bunch of asment I think there's has been
twenty seven I think that have gone to outer space
like the Moon. I don't know, there's a there's a bunch,
but anyway, Uh, they said that we have that same
level of technology right now on our on our phones
are smartphones. That they had to go to the the Moon.
(29:38):
It's crazy. All right, let's do one more. Pop goes
the culture see this bouncing around. You probably did see
this one. Bill Burr did a comedy bit back in
predicting that Kanye West would be a Nazi. Yes, that's nuts.
How did that? How did how did that happen? It's
(30:00):
kind of like how there's all the famous episodes of
The Simpsons and they nailed so many predictions that they made.
That is true. Yeah, that show has been on for
thirty years? Is it something like that? And I guess
if you make that many episodes and you goof around
about the past and the future a lot. You're gonna
(30:21):
nail some stuff eventually. Yeah, still cool though, No, it is,
it is. It is cool. Didn't they predict Trump would
be president? Or yeah? Yeah? Then congratulations anyway, So that
that is that. So what do you think the earlier
thoughts early review? Pop goes the culture, Yes, keep it
(30:42):
like it thombs up. Okay, it comes up. We'll keep
that in our rotation. Goes to culture because the culture
goes pop song. Ohio could be working on that right now,
Mr PC or one of these other dudes that are
very talented might be able to do it. Ohio. Look
up the white rap group from the eighties and nine
and these third Base, and they had a song called
(31:03):
Pop Goes the Weasel. There you go, pop goes the
Weasel goes the weasel because the weasel goes pop. That's good.
I like that. I could steal that alright, real quick, backscratcher,
let's get out on this, backscratcher. We begged people to
review the podcast for some reason. The Apple podcast pages
(31:24):
where management likes to go check and see how the
show is doing. What reviews we have who likes it,
who hates it? How many stars we have and all
that they take bottles of lotion into the bathroom and
read reviews. Yeah, so, lets we're a small, little weekend podcast.
(31:45):
I mean, we we have a good reach on this thing.
We're not an everyday podca so we're competing with some
other big podcasts in that world. So we'd love for
you to help us out. We're the little engine that could.
Were the great underdog story, Danny g the Fifth Hour podcast.
Even though we're part of the massive I Heart family,
were a very small part of the family, right, Danny.
I mean there's big people at this this coming up
(32:06):
Ryan Seacrest, you think Steve Harvey legendary, Your got Clay Travis.
We're at the very very bottom part of that. We're
trying to conduct it into the radio Hall of Fame.
Ellen Kay the Great Ellen Kay. I worked around Ellen
years ago at Kiss FM when she was with Rick
D's in the morning. She's got her own morning show
and Elly been doing that for a long time, and
(32:28):
so it's very cool. Anyway you can help us out
Apple podcast page this week that we have any reviews, Yes,
we did, Danny. We have one review from James in Arkansas.
But this is like the most left handed compliment review
we've gotten in some time. Headline the fifth Hour, he says,
I felt sorry for you Ben begging for a review.
(32:52):
So here's your five stars for December. Boom. That's it.
That's it. That's all you want, is it? Jas in Arkansas? No, James,
come on, James, come on, you gotta be more like
some of these other dude. We've had some very nice reviews,
some people that have taken time and said what they
like and what they some what they don't like, what
(33:12):
they want to hear more of. Come on, come on,
you can do better, James, you can do better. We
we've gotten rid of that one guy that used to
write reviews every other week. He changed his name. That
guy's not around anymore. But it's very simple. You put
in the description, Danny, how people can write reviews. Right's
very simple. It's not that hard at all. Just click
on the description of this very podcast. It'll say to
(33:34):
subscribe review rate. You click on that page down a
little bit, you'll see our big overall score, which if
Ben doesn't talk about politics, it's usually right around a
four point nine out of a pot. There was only
there was only one person that got me to talk
a lot of policies. I don't forge I forget his name,
but I don't think he's on the show anymore. So
there was Bunny, because when you two were blabbing about
(33:57):
politics during COVID, that went down to like a four
point seven, and we've been able to kick it back
up to a four point nine. I forget that person's name,
I don't know, but west of the four or five
or so, I don't know. I don't know his name.
I have no idea what he's not west of the
format anymore. Kudos to him for helping to start this
wonderful podcast. But we gotta keep it at a four
(34:17):
point nine, which means please give us a nice review
in there. Um you create a user name, then they'll
let you rank it and review it. Like Ben said,
management likes it. I don't like begging. I don't like
asking for anything. I've known you for a long time.
I've ever asked you for anything. No, Ben and I
(34:37):
we stand on our own two feet. But if you
would like to help out the podcast, it's appreciated, for sure,
it is. It would be a good Mitsva good mits
before you. Have a great rest of your Saturday. I've
got a big old mail bag, a ton of ton
of mail Danny this week on the mail bag, so
we'll get to that. Have a great rest of your day.
We'll talk to you next time. Later, skater, we got
(35:00):
our hands on a lot of balls.
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, back
at it on a weekend, no days off, no days off.
Here The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g
Radio where I don't have my sound effectively deep in
(00:46):
the weeds of the podcast do Joe, don't worry. I'll
put one of your famous drops right here. Ben. Oh,
thank you. I love Tom Brady. I would cuddle with him,
that's how cool he is. I am. I did like that,
unless it was in bad taste, and then I didn't
like it. But I it's the magic of stitching the
podcast together and that's the beauty of it. But Danny,
(01:12):
here we are yet again. We've made it to another Saturday.
Now you're back. You're married. Is life changed in amazing ways? Now? No?
Except for if my wife he complains about anything. I
think to myself, Fuck, am I stuck with this forever?
(01:33):
You've got the lifetime agreement? Buddy. Uh, there's no getting
out alive. So you've got that. Welcome to my world.
But yeah, so anyway, in this podcast, we've got the
light Show, share with the class, the steak king unless
you're not, and we might try a new feature, Danny,
(01:55):
I hope you're wearing your seatbelt. Pop goes the culture
you're thinking about that, we've got back scratcher if we
have time. And so there's a lot too to get through.
But this actually relates to what you were just talking
about when you got back. You got married. You know,
everyone goes through that when you marry someone. You're like,
if you get married, you're like, oh, wait a minute.
If anything goes wrong, you're like, wait, whoa whoa, wait
(02:15):
a minute, what's going on here? Well, she also did
some really nice things this past week where I was like, Okay,
I'm good with this all the time. Okay, alright, so
there's a yeah, you got the good and the best,
the facts of life, right, you gotta take the good
with the bed. And then all right, so a bit
of a holiday ker fluffle that I need to break down.
(02:36):
I need your perspective on Danny, and you'll probably go
through this at some point here in the near near future.
So holiday season, the season of lights and joy and
and all that, and UM been through. We've all been
through a lot the last couple of years with the
COVID stuff and I so anyway, I moved. I live
(02:57):
in in the new I've lived in three places is
the last couple of years. But we're in the final
final Mallard mansion. Shouldn't move again. Something's gone terribly wrong
if I end up moving again. So it was. We
were debating last weekend to put on the Christmas lights
at the new house. Right, you've been to that house
and so uh my wife said, was a new house.
(03:19):
We need to get new lights. And I was like,
all right, whatever. Final. So we went and got some
new lights to hang, and she picked some stuff out
and I went to Walmart did the whole thing. There
were hundreds of people to find lights and the whole
so we loaded up and so we got back and
we're gonna put It was too late to put the
lights up the day we were planning on doing it,
(03:40):
because we we had do some other stuff and so
then the next day we didn't have a lot of
time because you have to shower after you left the Walmart. Well,
I like Walmart, My, my, Why you don't like well,
you know a Walmart. Figure, man, Just those fluorescent lights
alone in there make me feel creeped out? Yeah, I don't.
I don't give a crap, and I focus on the deal.
(04:00):
I'm all about the deal. And I'm a tight one,
which actually relates to this story, because I have a
tight one. So we we were supposed to put the
lights up, I think it was on Saturday. Didn't do that.
So then Sunday to work day for me, watching football
and all that. We a little window to put the
lights on. And my wife had to work and all
that too, and so we were in a bit of
a rush, and we were trying to find the timers
(04:23):
and all the other auxiliary stuff to hang, like extension chords,
stuff like that. It's a whole to do to put
these things up. I couldn't find them anywhere. You know,
We're still going through a bunch of stuff, got a
bunch of stuff in boxes still even after all this time.
So I made a decision, Danny that got me in
(04:43):
the doghouse a little bit. I decided we had spent
so much money in years passed on these timers and
extension chords and all that's like, you know, why don't
we just wait until we buy you know, why don't
we wait until we find I didn't want to read
buy the stuff? Okay, so good, you agree with me.
But my wife's like, you know, let's go by, come on,
let's just go buy a a timer. And we we
(05:06):
we looked all over. We couldn't find it. But I
just I hate buying rebuying stuff unless it's broken obviously
then you buy it or whatever. So a little bit
of a disagreement that uh am I the ball humbug
guy Danny. And also, is there a statute of limitations
on when if you don't put there was this debate
(05:27):
we had where if you don't put the lights up
by a certain day, you then can't put the lights up.
See I think you can put the lights up at
any point, but I was I was educated that that's
not technically true. Whoa who was gonna know exactly what
day you did it? Are some Christmas light inspector is
gonna come over and hang a grade on your front
(05:49):
window exactly. That. That's that's kind of my logic. My
thinking is, well, you know, most people don't pay attention
to other people's houses, and we're gonna have a bunch
of people over for her parties and whatnot for the
holidays and all that. So when I just put them up,
and yeah, they're paying that close of attention to your house,
they're probably the wet bandits that was. That was the
(06:13):
light show. There was no light show. Stay tuned, though.
We will have updates dandy going forward on this podcast.
We will have exclusive nobody else has this coverage. Will
the lights go up or will the lights stay down?
And uh and and the wife was so kind of
annoyed with me. She's like, we'll just return the lights
that we bought. I don't want to return the lights, right,
(06:34):
that's a drastic measure to return the lights, you know
what I'm saying. That's a drastic measure. So do you
think you're gonna find that timer today? Hi? I hope.
I I don't know, though. I it's we've got so
much stuff. It's I might have to cave in. I
might have given and up buying one, but I'm gonna
give it the old college tried, Danny, I'm gonna open
(06:56):
up as many boxes as I can, okay, and we'll
find it's a race against time because it has to
be done today. It's got to be done today. And
if not, that's it so ironic since it's a timer.
I know, I know, I know, I know. But every
year you add a few more things, right, So I'm like, well,
(07:17):
we got enough stuff. We don't need these timers and anyone.
But maybe I'm the Maybe I'm the douche. I don't know. Anyway,
it was speaking of passing things on and sharing information
and all that, Danny. There's a lot of things in
that realm that we can talk about, right. Yeah. Since
getting back from the Islands, I've been back to not
(07:40):
only the radio show with you and Covino and Rich,
but also to the classroom for the three times per
week that I go in there and open up the
campus at the middle school. I've talked about Sam, the
eighth grader, who has brought up certain things, certain topics
of conversation were at my debtsk I have to say
(08:01):
change the topic. Please, uh, Sam, don't talk about that
with the seventh graders. Please, are you saying that Sam
believes in going to the third rail, Ma Miam, the
third rail. If Sam was on the radio, he would
be a shock jock. Okay, he goes the extra mile. Yeah,
or he would at least be pushing the envelope a
(08:22):
little bit. So I'm sitting there reading my book. I
have a classroom filled with mostly seventh graders, and one
of the counselors at the middle school walks into my
class and comes up to my desk and says, congratulations,
how was it? Tell me about it? And so I
(08:43):
kind of, you know, give her the thirty second version
of the trip to Hawaii, and uh, I didn't get
to talk about David and his drinking or any of that.
I told her she could find the extended remix on
the podcast here. So she's laughing about the podcast, which
she has listened too before. So shouts out to that
counselor and she leaves. Now, none of the kids realized
(09:07):
I was even gone, Ben, because they were off school
for a whole week because of Thanksgiving. Oh yes, right, yeah,
so they didn't even know. They were none the wiser
that I was gone. But Sam, he was listening to
this counselor talk to me after she leaves. He says,
what do you do in Hawaii? So I told him,
(09:28):
and he walks over and he looks at my ring
and very loudly so all the seventh graders could hear him,
he said, that's awesome, Mr g Now you're allowed to
have sex. Uh. And the seventh graders start clapping and applauding, Oh,
(09:48):
you gotta an ovation. Congratulation. Man, Uh, you're now allowed
to make whoopee congratulations. Yeah. So I'm like, man, this kid,
Oh my goodness, damn, change the topic. Please, Hey, Sam,
back up and punt here. You might want to punt
at this point here, it's about fourth down. You had
a long way to go here. You're not gonna make it. Sam, Again,
(10:11):
he reiterated that I'm now allowed to do this. That
sounds like a parent saying you can't fool around until
you get mary. That's where that sounds. Yeah. And if
you remember on a previous podcast, I changed his name
to protect the innocent and the guilty. He's the same
one who asked me to explain gay sex to the classroom. Yes, yeah,
(10:36):
in his repertoire. And I expect no less from this
eighth grader kids a firecracker. This kid huh yeah, man, wow,
that's my favorite part. That was the ovation the kid outstanding. Yeah,
if you're not embarrassed enough as an adult. Lots of
clapping because well, when you're around the age, when you
(10:57):
when you do end up doing the in the dirty,
the sideway shuffle, you do feel like you deserve a
standing ovation when you finally accomplish that. But I don't
know to actually get one, but fortune favors the bold Danny.
So wow, that's that's hilarious. Man. That is that is
too much. So the steak King has a right. I
(11:22):
didn't realize this, The steak King has arrived, Danny. I
posted some photos more of my cooking, cooking with Benny
and all that stuff, my recent cooking sojourn, and I
had no idea the number of members of the Mallard
Militia that are experts, professional chefs, Danny, that can critique
(11:46):
my cheese steak sandwich. Everyone an expert, right, I'm getting
tips here, they're pointers there. That doesn't look quite there's
not enough cheese. What it's the wrong kind of cheese
touching up my work here, And I'm like, listen to
everyone in a while, I'll post a photo what I'm doing.
(12:06):
And I happened to be watching the Pack twelve championship
game with USC in Utah. That was the last Friday,
a couple of fridays ago, and I cooked the cheese.
They got a buddy of mine over gambling, buddy of
mine over watching the game, and we had USC. We
lost the bet by a ton, but when the food
was good and so I made the cheese steak and
(12:26):
I got that tasted great. It came out pretty good.
But people are pointing out all that was wrong. It
didn't look right, this didn't look now. There were a
lot of people, to be fair, that we're kind and
we're nice and said that I needed to share the
recipe and all that so. But of course, as always,
you know, Danny, it's the people that are total assholes.
Those are the ones that you remember. It's not the
people that were nice and say how great it was
(12:48):
and how wonderful. No, you remember the other people. The
ones you're talking about are the very reason why I
examined a photo before I posted, because there's things in
the background that you're not paying attention to necessarily until
the first asshole points it out and then some other
a holes jump on his bandwagon. Ye, you need to
(13:10):
teach that skill to a guy named Edmund the Mermaid
Garcia over there, because Eddie, he has no filter. Eddie
has taken three of the worst photos I've ever taken
in my life and posted them immediately on Twitter. Stop
Eddie immediately on Twitter, and he doesn't even look at
(13:33):
them or doesn't like try to take another photo, a
better photo. Make people look as slim as possible. It's
all angles. And then if their skin looks too pale,
you go in there and you fix the color of
the picture and their skin. You can make somebody look
like a hundred thousand dollars instead of minus ten dollars exactly.
(13:55):
That's the And be polite. It's a polite courtesy to
do for those as of us that work in this
world where we were somewhat we're on the totem pole,
but the very bottom with the mushrooms when it comes
to celebrity. Come on. Uh So anyway, I mean people
were going back and forth on that. I got into
some hearty discussions. They were ripping the fries that they
(14:16):
made in the air fryer. But I think the air
frre is a way to go, Dany. I don't. I
don't know you guys use the air frre. But that's
a wonderful way to cook heat up food. Yeah, great,
it's I'm all about the air fryer. Yeah, we do
sweet potato fries in there. Yeah, we got a new
air fryer. We went next level at the Mallard Mansion, Danny,
because I you know, during the week, everyone's busy. My
(14:38):
wife's working, I'm working, and so it's it's it's just
throw some food in the air fryre. But you know,
I like my chicken fingers and my fries, but I
don't want them to cook together. So we got an
air fry This is like a boss air fryer. This
is the Boss. Two different compartments. One side. You can
put the fries, one side the chicken boom done done. Yeah.
(15:02):
Next level. Wow, it's officially a mansion. Yeah. Now you're impressed, right.
The ice machine and that what more does one need?
I wanted to take your ice machine home with me
after the Halloween bash. They're not the coolest thing, man.
Ice machine, game changer, game changer, and you don't need
it when you're young, but when you reach a certain
(15:22):
like middle age, you need an ice machine. It just
makes life better. Ben has an ice machine that is
unlike any other I've seen because it makes that sonic ice,
the ice everybody craves. Ben. Yeah, it's like restaurant quality ice.
And now we didn't buy it new. We we gotta
kind of re refurbished. But knew they're really expensive. But
(15:44):
you can get them for a somewhat reasonable price on eBay.
In different places you can get them for for a
lot less. So but I do recommend that if if
you're looking for an extra gift for the holidays, the
ice machine a a way to go. So I want
to try a new feature, Danny, this might be a
complete disaster. Normally when I tried new things, it's a
(16:05):
total quagmire. And hopefully this will not be the case.
But we're gonna a little bit of pop goes the culture.
This doesn't have the number one station anymore. Is its
week one? It was a hitam, but some of the
other I did a spelling be for a while. I
don't know if you were with me when they did that,
and we we learned that the average overnight sports talk
(16:28):
radio caller cannot spell cannot spell the number one. If
you spot on the oh, they can't spell the number one,
It's it's a bad situation. So we we tried that
for a few weeks, and I had these great visions
of how fun this would be the spelling be, and
we would throw some really exotic names out, like Mark, Grizzolonic,
(16:49):
things like that. And it turns out that many of
our callers and I listen, I love the people that
call the show. They go balls to the wall, they
support the show. They're fans of mine, fans of yours,
Danny and I thank them very much for that. But
we're all good at some things and all bad at
other things. And it's just it was an eye opening experience.
It was an eye opening experience that if you if
(17:12):
you said, hey, can you spell ban uh, and they wouldn't.
They wouldn't be able to smell Ben. It's just it's
very strict. So anyway, so the way this works, pop
goals the culture. These are actual pop culture stories that
took place this week that I might not have mentioned
on the radio show. Maybe you mentioned it on Covino
Enriched Danny. I don't know, but we'll we'll go over
(17:32):
these stories here and pop goes the culture. The first
story is a story that happened the other day, reports
that the White House made a trade with Russia for
Brittany Grinder. The they call her a w n B
A star. I don't know about that. I don't know how.
You know, there's not many people watching that w n
(17:54):
B A so I don't know about that one. But
the trade went down. It was a one for one trade. Now,
we're in the business of grading trades in sports radio,
so I would like to grade the trade as I
understand the trade, Danny. The Russian government traded w NBA
(18:15):
player Brittany Grinder, who spent several months in a Russian
gulag on drug charges. She was let go, traded in
a swap for an international arms dealer named Victor Bout.
I believe is the gentleman's name there. Uh that that
is the transaction that was made. And so on the
(18:39):
Mallard report card, I give the United States and F
and I give Russia an A plus for Vladimir Putin,
so he gets an A plus and the White House
with Joe Biden they get unfortunately, and F I have
to do it on the Mallard report card. This is
a terrible trade, Danny, on so many levels. It's not
(19:03):
an even trade. It's like trading an all star criminal
for you know, a toddler. What are you doing right?
What are we? What are we doing here? Well, I
think they thought Biden's administration thought they had to get
her out of there once she got to that work camp,
because there was a couple of weeks there where they
didn't even know where she was being moved to. And
(19:26):
you know the conditions of those work camps. Once you're there,
all bets are off. Well, this guy I was reading
about him. I guess I'm not up Eddie. Unfortunately I
could do Eddie, Danny. Excuse me, I'm not up there.
I'm here at I know, but exactly, but I am
not up Danny on my international arms dealers, Okay, I'm
(19:48):
not up on them. And so I was reading about
this guy we're paying you all this money for. I know,
I've clearly failed the listeners. So this guy that we
traded for traded to get Britney Grinder back. Uh. And
that's the biggest trade in w NBA history, by the way,
there's never been a bigger trade in w NBA history
about was being held at mary In Prison in Illinois,
(20:10):
that famous prison, the federal prisoner mary in Illinois. And
he had been arrested by the d A in Thailand.
There was a sting operation back in oh eight. He
was convicted of conspiring to kill Americans. Right to kill Americans.
He was since the twenty five years And we traded
(20:31):
this guy he wanted to kill Americans for Brittany Grinder.
What kind of deal is that? Now? Were there any
cash considerations or players to be named later? Now, there
were a couple of draft picks because Biden said FM picks,
We'll throw some picks in there, and he traded a
couple of other picks down the line, but picks FM
(20:52):
picks here. You go, alright, the trade trade done there.
So yeah, that's not that's not a good deal, I mean,
and then said I was reading a story. There's a
teacher I don't know you size is this American guy
who's in in Russia who had something similar to Brittney Grinder.
The guy's rotting in jail. The guy's rotting in jail.
(21:13):
Why don't we Why didn't we make it a two
for one, Well, he was supposed to be part of
the package. Man, I don't see him. I'm looking at
the I don't see it. Never been part of this conversation.
For months, America wanted to for that one that they wanted,
So we didn't even get the deal we wanted here, No,
I mean when and these are these are low level
(21:35):
people Britney Grinder and the teacher, and you couldn't make
that trade. I mean, what kind of negotiation is that?
Come on, now, you gotta hire a better GM gonna
make that trade happen. Shame on you, all right? Next
up on pop goals the culture. Well, here's an interesting
story from the New York New York, New York area.
(21:56):
There at least forty five people have claimed to have
had bigfoot encounters in New York County. Wow, Danny g
They claim they have spotted sasquatch. You got you gotta
be kidding me? Right? Come on? Well, even though they suck,
(22:19):
and they've sucked for years, the Nicks do have some
of the biggest celebrity fans. Yeah, come on, now, where
are you at on bigfoot? Some of the pictures I've
seen look legit. But how come they're all blurry. And
this is one thing Covino has said on the air before.
He's like, what if Bigfoot just as blurry? Yeah, that's
(22:46):
what it looks like though from all the photos. But
here's the thing I can't get over, Like, if Bigfoot
is real, wouldn't there be a body? Wouldn't Bigfoot die
in the forest and somebody would come along bigfoot body
and say, right here the remains a Bigfoot. Not if
Bigfoot can live to be twenty or something, and we
don't know even if, but even if Bigfoot lived to
(23:10):
be three years old, at some point, like these whales
out in the there's that that that turtle that turned
a hundred and ninety this week, at some point the
turtle is gonna die, right, at some point that the
turtle is gonna be. That's it the end. It will
be the remains of the turtle. Like Bigfoot, they seem
(23:31):
to all be by themselves, don't they. You never see
like families a Bigfoot. Where is the family? Are they
living in a cave somewhere? Where are the other bigfoots?
And what would a group of bigfoot be called? And
that's good, that's right? And where where the where the
baby bigfoots? And how can you have another bigfoot? If
there's only if they live by themselves and they don't
(23:53):
live with that male female, so what the hell? These
are all interesting questions that I would like if you
saw a group of a family of bigfoot, would you say,
oh my god, look at the big feet over there,
Teaquille O'Neal Bigfoot. I've seen very big feature George Morasson
(24:15):
back when I covered the NBA Bigfoot, Big big man
shacks real game US shoes into the studio back in
the day, remember, yeah, yeah, massive human being size of
a small boat. That turtle, Jonathan the turtle, by the way,
the oldest tortoise in the world, they claim, whoever they
are the Guinness Book of World Records. I love the
(24:38):
fact that that turtle is older than toilet paper. That
the older than a bicycle. It's crazy. Yeah, those things
are dinosaurs. Those in the the blue whales, right, isn't
that the one that lives the longest, the giant blue whales,
unless they get they get killed in in the Japan
(25:00):
or whatever, unless they get harpooned, Yeah, harpooned. But if
they live now, all right, pop goes to the culture.
Next up, we've got this Do you see this story?
I guess it's an actually an old video, but they've
made a documentary about It's been bouncing around the internet
this week. I hadn't seen it before. I just saw
this week this former c I agent. I'm gonna go
(25:22):
full George Nori in honor of George who was on
our podcast long ago. So a former CIA agent who
worked at Area fifty one, on his deathbed made a
bunch of confessions about what he saw at Area fifty one.
Do you see this one? No? Yeah, So this is
(25:43):
very interesting to me. And I used to listen to
Art Bell back in the day, and so I was
kind of into the whole alien this Area fifty one,
that whole deal. But this interview was actually done many
many years ago, but it just popped up again this week.
This seventies seven year old dude who used to work
at the CIA. He was an agent. He worked for
(26:05):
the CIA from nineteen fifty seven to nineteen sixty And
I guess he had actually done an interview on Coast
to Coast many years ago, and he did. He didn't
give too much information away, but on his deathbed he
did another interview for these documentary guys and went into
great detail about being on the base at Area fifty one.
(26:27):
Said there were living aliens there. There were a bunch
of artifacts from alien accidents that they had, like pretty
much everything. And this guy goes back. He's pretty convincing,
old dude, but who knows, maybe he was he was
making it up, but he gave all these revelations. The
videos on YouTube you can find. Let me see if
(26:48):
I can find the name of it. It's deathbed confession
by former CI agent on UFOs. You can probably type
that in uh. But he said, this goes back to
when President Dwight Eisenhower was in control. He was working
with the CIA. He got sent to the Area fifty
(27:08):
one because Eisenhower was preparing to attack Area fifty one
because they wouldn't tell him what was going on, So
he sent this guy from the CIA. And this guy
went in there and got all the goods and saw
that we're live extraterrestrials there. That's wild. Yeah, I kind
of go back to my That goes back to one
(27:29):
of my crazy theories data that the the iPhone here
like stuff. I think it's like alien technology. I think
a lot of the modern advantace, Like do you think
how think of where the world was in like a
hundred years ago as opposed to two hundred years ago,
and like the amount of progress that has been made
(27:50):
in the last hundred years. I think good technology was
taken from one of their spacecrafts. Yeah, I think they
reverse engineered. Whether it's raw as well or something we
don't even know about. I think they this is not
something we had. Like everything's gotten so crazy good. Yeah,
(28:12):
over the last you know, maybe I'm nuts, I don't know,
but that's my no. I needed to pay a bill
really bad the other day and I only had the
password info locked into my laptop. But I'm on the road,
don't have WiFi for my laptop, And I thought to myself,
I said, wait a second, I'll just take the hot
(28:32):
spot off of my cell phone and log onto the
internet through my laptop on the freeway. Crazy, what I know, right,
What the hell? So I'm on the four oh five
freeway paying a bill through my laptop through WiFi that's
through my cell phone. It's it's it's insane, Like, um,
(28:56):
you know the fact that I can broadcast the show
from my home studio and it can broadcast all over
the world. It's it's it's nuts, absolutely nuts, the technology
that we have today. And you think about they, you know,
the science community will say when they went to the Moon,
the U S went to the Moon for the first
(29:17):
time and planted the flag and all that, and there
were a bunch of asment I think there's has been
twenty seven I think that have gone to outer space
like the Moon. I don't know, there's a there's a bunch,
but anyway, Uh, they said that we have that same
level of technology right now on our on our phones
are smartphones. That they had to go to the the Moon.
(29:38):
It's crazy. All right, let's do one more. Pop goes
the culture see this bouncing around. You probably did see
this one. Bill Burr did a comedy bit back in
predicting that Kanye West would be a Nazi. Yes, that's nuts.
How did that? How did how did that happen? It's
(30:00):
kind of like how there's all the famous episodes of
The Simpsons and they nailed so many predictions that they made.
That is true. Yeah, that show has been on for
thirty years? Is it something like that? And I guess
if you make that many episodes and you goof around
about the past and the future a lot. You're gonna
(30:21):
nail some stuff eventually. Yeah, still cool though, No, it is,
it is. It is cool. Didn't they predict Trump would
be president? Or yeah? Yeah? Then congratulations anyway, So that
that is that. So what do you think the earlier
thoughts early review? Pop goes the culture, Yes, keep it
(30:42):
like it thombs up. Okay, it comes up. We'll keep
that in our rotation. Goes to culture because the culture
goes pop song. Ohio could be working on that right now,
Mr PC or one of these other dudes that are
very talented might be able to do it. Ohio. Look
up the white rap group from the eighties and nine
and these third Base, and they had a song called
(31:03):
Pop Goes the Weasel. There you go, pop goes the
Weasel goes the weasel because the weasel goes pop. That's good.
I like that. I could steal that alright, real quick, backscratcher,
let's get out on this, backscratcher. We begged people to
review the podcast for some reason. The Apple podcast pages
(31:24):
where management likes to go check and see how the
show is doing. What reviews we have who likes it,
who hates it? How many stars we have and all
that they take bottles of lotion into the bathroom and
read reviews. Yeah, so, lets we're a small, little weekend podcast.
(31:45):
I mean, we we have a good reach on this thing.
We're not an everyday podca so we're competing with some
other big podcasts in that world. So we'd love for
you to help us out. We're the little engine that could.
Were the great underdog story, Danny g the Fifth Hour podcast.
Even though we're part of the massive I Heart family,
were a very small part of the family, right, Danny.
I mean there's big people at this this coming up
(32:06):
Ryan Seacrest, you think Steve Harvey legendary, Your got Clay Travis.
We're at the very very bottom part of that. We're
trying to conduct it into the radio Hall of Fame.
Ellen Kay the Great Ellen Kay. I worked around Ellen
years ago at Kiss FM when she was with Rick
D's in the morning. She's got her own morning show
and Elly been doing that for a long time, and
(32:28):
so it's very cool. Anyway you can help us out
Apple podcast page this week that we have any reviews, Yes,
we did, Danny. We have one review from James in Arkansas.
But this is like the most left handed compliment review
we've gotten in some time. Headline the fifth Hour, he says,
I felt sorry for you Ben begging for a review.
(32:52):
So here's your five stars for December. Boom. That's it.
That's it. That's all you want, is it? Jas in Arkansas? No, James,
come on, James, come on, you gotta be more like
some of these other dude. We've had some very nice reviews,
some people that have taken time and said what they
like and what they some what they don't like, what
(33:12):
they want to hear more of. Come on, come on,
you can do better, James, you can do better. We
we've gotten rid of that one guy that used to
write reviews every other week. He changed his name. That
guy's not around anymore. But it's very simple. You put
in the description, Danny, how people can write reviews. Right's
very simple. It's not that hard at all. Just click
on the description of this very podcast. It'll say to
(33:34):
subscribe review rate. You click on that page down a
little bit, you'll see our big overall score, which if
Ben doesn't talk about politics, it's usually right around a
four point nine out of a pot. There was only
there was only one person that got me to talk
a lot of policies. I don't forge I forget his name,
but I don't think he's on the show anymore. So
there was Bunny, because when you two were blabbing about
(33:57):
politics during COVID, that went down to like a four
point seven, and we've been able to kick it back
up to a four point nine. I forget that person's name,
I don't know, but west of the four or five
or so, I don't know. I don't know his name.
I have no idea what he's not west of the
format anymore. Kudos to him for helping to start this
wonderful podcast. But we gotta keep it at a four
(34:17):
point nine, which means please give us a nice review
in there. Um you create a user name, then they'll
let you rank it and review it. Like Ben said,
management likes it. I don't like begging. I don't like
asking for anything. I've known you for a long time.
I've ever asked you for anything. No, Ben and I
(34:37):
we stand on our own two feet. But if you
would like to help out the podcast, it's appreciated, for sure,
it is. It would be a good Mitsva good mits
before you. Have a great rest of your Saturday. I've
got a big old mail bag, a ton of ton
of mail Danny this week on the mail bag, so
we'll get to that. Have a great rest of your day.
We'll talk to you next time. Later, skater, we got
(35:00):
our hands on a lot of balls.
Host
Ben Maller
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