August 30, 2026 • 32 mins
The Sunday pod throws you a curveball—we’re putting the usual mailbag in mothballs for a week. Why? Because we’re still basking in the strange, slightly sticky afterglow of Saturday’s big Maller Meet & Greet in Las Vegas. Benny opens the case files from the Maller Bureau of Investigations, where an unofficially deputized P1 went above and beyond in the years-long hunt for our elusive White Whale. Captain Ahab had the ocean; we apparently have sports-radio archives and people with way too much free time. Then there’s dinner. A simple plan. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. Instead of arriving at the Temple of Cholesterol for some artery-clogging fellowship, Ben somehow ends up in a cul-de-sac involving a Honda and fertilizer. Honda. Fertilizer. Cul-de-sac. Perfect. Because apparently asking for dinner directions now requires a degree in urban planning and a hazmat endorsement. It’s the Fifth Hour—where even getting something to eat becomes a three-act disaster.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, 1,200 minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole bastion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Maller. Well,
you kind of already knew that. And here we are
yet again, another glorious day in the magic audio box,
otherwise known as the Fifth Hour Podcast. It is Sunday,
the 30th day of August, or as we like to say,
(00:49):
the morning after another legendary Maller meet and greet. So
I received a subliminal message from from my P1 who
no longer listens live. He sold out our friend Terry
in England, who has been on the mailbag podcast. And
Terry said, Ben, I know you want to spend the
(01:10):
entire hour on this podcast, breaking down what it was
like at the stakeout bar and grill for the big
Mallor meet and greet that took place on Saturday. However,
Terry reminded me through this subliminal message. He said, Ben,
I need you. I need you to stay calm. I
(01:32):
want you to hold off on giving a knee-jerk recap.
We need you to stay still and wait. Wait till
next week. So in honor of the wishes of Terry
in England, just to be totally transparent here, we are
going to wait. And then on Friday's podcast, we will
(01:56):
connect the dots. We will piece together the puzzle. And
these things are always puzzles. There were things that were
supposed to happen yesterday that didn't happen. There were things
that we didn't expect to happen that did happen. And
so we'll get to the bottom of all that. We'll
figure it out. I'm going to think about exactly what
(02:18):
happened and how I want to share that with you.
And so that'll take place. On the Friday podcast. On
this edition, we've got the white whale and GPS betrayal.
That's right. I know. That's too much pod. That's way
too much pod. Well, we're going to begin with this.
(02:43):
And I know it is a Debbie Downer. That's a
phrase that doesn't get used much anymore. The Debbie Downer phrase.
I'll be the killjoy. Yeah, whatever you want to say there.
Bleak Benny. Yeah, Bad News Benny. Sourdough Sam. All those things.
All those things. No mailbag today. Now, the reason we're
(03:05):
not doing a mailbag is because it's a travel weekend.
Viva Las Vegas. And pretty much anybody I wanted to
get on the mailbag who could get on the mailbag...
meaning they don't have their Obama phone and they have
a real phone, was either at the meet and greet
or not available. So no mailbag today. I know it's
a bummer. I know you're disappointed, right? And you're probably
(03:29):
slouching your shoulders right now and you've got pouty lips
and you're crossing your arms and all those things. It
will return, barring some kind of plot twist, it will
return on the next weekend of the pod. So A
week from today, which will be our first Sunday in September,
we will have the mailbag. So plan ahead. You can
(03:52):
email me at any point today, tomorrow, whenever for the mailbag,
and we'll use it on next week's edition. So if
you did send a message this past week, and I
know we got a few, actually one of them I'm
going to use, just kind of hold off on that
and send again, and we'll do the mailbag next week. Now,
I mentioned I didn't want to share one correspondence that
(04:14):
I received this week that was head and shoulders above
the rest. Either that or I just happened to accidentally
click it open. It is involving our search for El Dorado.
What does that mean? For many years, many, many years now,
we have been on a quest, an audio quest, to
(04:34):
find what I maintain is the greatest Jerry Jones drop
of all time. Now, Jerry has been on microphones and
in front of cameras since before I got into radio.
I was like in high school when Jerry Jones got
the Cowboys. So my entire career, I've always had the
crutch of Jerry Jones saying goofy things, doing goofy things. Yet,
(05:02):
as I have chronicled this.
Since back when I started in radio and the Cowboys
were actually winning Super Bowls, believe it or not, I
know it's shocking. The greatest single drop of all time
is Jerry talking about a mosquito, specifically circumcising a mosquito. Now,
Jerry has his own collection of drops that I believe
(05:25):
can rival the Beatles song catalog, which is considered the
creme de la creme Am I right on that? I'm
not a music guy. I don't have the music gene.
I remember reading a story about the Beatles song catalog
and how amazing that was. And a bunch of different
people had stakes in it. Michael Jackson at one point
(05:48):
owned part of the Beatles song catalog, if not all
of it. The holy grail, though, of a music library...
circumcising a mosquito that includes, let's go back and look
at some of the hits here. This is not a list.
This is not, it's not, it's a big board. Jerry
Jones music library of drops that includes platinum songs. Like
(06:09):
I want me some glory hole, which we play a lot.
When the Cowboys were in last place about a decade
ago or so, Jerry Jones gave the famous quote that
he was lower than a crippled cricket's ass, which is outstanding. Outstanding, right?
All these country slang terms that Jerry Jones uses. He
(06:30):
gave a dropout. He said, I'm looking up on my back,
when the Cowboys were not doing well, looking up on
my back, and all I see is ass. I want
a different perspective. That's what he said. Back in 2020,
there was some chatter about Dez Bryant playing and coming
back and all that. And Jerry Jones said, I've been
thinking about it in the shower. And all of those
(06:53):
are great, and there's a bunch of other drops that
Jerry's given us over the years. However, I maintain the
circumcising the mosquito quote is the white whale. It's been
pursued by many, but never caught again. We did have it.
We had the drop circumcising the mosquito, and somehow it vanished.
(07:16):
And we've never been able to catch it again. And yes,
those words actually did escape the mouth of the Dallas
Cowboys owner. We're not making that up. This is not
some kind of fever dream. It's not urban legend. And
it apparently happened a decade ago, almost exactly a decade ago,
September of 2016. during Jerry's appearance on the radio in Dallas.
(07:43):
He was doing sports radio there while discussing on his
weekly radio show. He does two shows a week. He
was discussing Tony Romo's roster status in September of 2016,
and he was yapping away and going on a lot.
Contemporary reports, if you go back into the Wayback Machine,
(08:05):
confirm that this happened. But where did the actual audio go?
Scrubbed from the interwebs, vanished. And so that's the part
of the story where we welcome in the mailbag. Now,
this is not an official mailbag. This is a one-off mailbag.
I just happened to see this and open it up.
(08:26):
Enter our P1 Quang, who claims to be listening faithfully
to us from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. That's what he says. Now,
Quang went above and beyond the call of duty, and
he has joined the unofficial MBI movement, as Alf and
Fergdog and Malapropguy know, the Malheur Bureau of Investigations. This
(08:49):
is not to be confused with the FBI. This is
the Malheur Bureau of Investigations. And our keystone cop, Detective Quang,
identified the exact date through his He found what radio
station it happened on. He found the exact subject matter
that we were looking for. And then, like any good
(09:10):
member of the Malheur Bureau of Investigations, he reached out
to the representation from that radio station. He contacted, found
the email for the boss of the radio station, and
requested the archived audio. Quang's just a listener. And he
got it. Stonewalled. Little Stonewall Jackson is what he got.
(09:36):
No mosquito for you. The station reached out to him.
Very nice email. Short email. And announced they would not
fulfill the request for said audio. Now, Quang later sent
us a message apologizing for coming up empty. And I
was trying to think, why would you apologize? Quang, you
(09:57):
have nothing to apologize for. You did more impressive investigative
work on the circumcised mosquito caper than Woodward and Bernstein.
This is investigative journalism. You're going to be eligible for
a Pulitzer Prize, even though you didn't actually win it.
If that podcast guy who spent months and months and
(10:18):
months talking about Kawhi Leonard won a Pulitzer Prize, why
can't Quang from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, win a Pulitzer
Prize for this work? So you did go above and
beyond the call of duty for the Malheur militia. And unfortunately...
We don't have any money to give you. We have
no budget, so sorry, we can't do that. Since you
(10:41):
went above and beyond the call of duty, therefore, by
the completely imaginary authority vested in me by the Malheur Militia,
I am proud to announce as your leader, the oligarch, Quang,
you have received an unofficial imaginary Malheur Militia puffy sticker.
That's right. Congratulations. Scratch and sniff. Yeah. Wear it with pride.
(11:09):
Wear it with pride. I actually had a guy message me.
This is one of the listeners a couple years ago.
I don't even know if I talked about this on
the podcast. Every once in a while, I'll mention puffy
stickers because when I was a kid in school, the
kids loved it, especially the girls. They loved those puffy stickers.
It was a big deal, the scratch and sniff things.
(11:31):
Although I don't think you, I don't remember Puffy Scratch
and Sniff. I think that might have been a creation
in my mind. Anyway, so somebody reached out and said,
why don't we make some Malheur Militia Puffy stickers? And
I was like, okay, you know, I'm in. And then
it went nowhere, as most of these things do, when
people reach out and say, I got t-shirts, I got hats,
I got coffee mugs, I got koozies, keychains. And so
(11:55):
I get all excited and I'm like, oh, this is
gonna be great. We're gonna have a Malheur store, Malheur merch,
and then Suddenly the emails stop coming back to me
and it just goes away. That would be cool to
have like a really nice, and you could do it now,
this cartoon Malheur Militia puffy sticker thing. That would be great. Anyway, Quang,
in my head, I'm giving you a Malheur Militia puffy sticker,
(12:17):
scratch and sniff. Wear it with pride. I'm sure it's
going to be a chick magnet. It's kind of like
going to a park with a puppy. Everyone runs over
to you and says, oh, let me see the puppy. Whee!
The puppy! Unfortunately, the Jerry Jones mosquito remains uncircumcised and
I believe is hanging out with Sasquatch and a lizard person.
(12:41):
So I don't know what they're doing. They're playing some
card games. Meanwhile, to a story that has never before
been told on this podcast... A guy that we almost
had on, Ron Popeil. We had him booked. I was
in the pod studio recording, ready to go. We had
(13:01):
a time set up for Ron Popeil. And right before
the interview, I got a message from his publicist saying,
Ron has decided not to do the interview and apologize.
And that was it. We never got him on. But
Ron Popeil once promised us, every man, woman, and child,
the smooth talking certainty of an infomercial messiah saying the
(13:25):
words that were simple, one, two, three, four, five words
that have stood the test of time long after Ron
has left this mortal coil. Set it and forget it.
That was the promise by Ron Popeil, the late-night infomercial messiah.
And he just said it simply, set it and forget it.
(13:45):
And Ron was talking about rotisserie chickens. But humanity, lazy,
perpetually distracted, and desperate for shortcuts, decided to apply this
grand philosophy to everyday life, including basic navigation. Now, I
(14:06):
am so old. How old are you? I'm so old.
When I was a kid, we'd go on road trips.
to Arizona or Nevada or Northern California. And I remember
going with my mom to the auto club to get
the maps. Cause they would, as an auto club member,
they would give you maps. And so this was always
a big thing. And then we had the plan exactly
where we wanted to go. Had no idea what the
(14:29):
traffic was like, what the quality of the road was like.
We had these Thomas brother maps and that was it.
We did our thing. And so that, that was our navigation. Well,
navigation is, Now, you say, well, not so fast, my friends.
There is a precise soul-crushing moment when a man realizes
that modern satellite technology has not freed the mind. Merely,
(14:53):
it has automated the capacity to embarrassing self-sabotage. Now, for me,
that realization landed at 6.20 p.m. on a Friday, a
Not this past Friday because I was in Vegas, but
the previous Friday. It just happened. And I found myself
(15:15):
idling in a silent suburban cul-de-sac that smelled like lawn fertilizer.
Why would anyone put lawn fertilizer down at night? It
was six. The sun was still out. 620. There I
was smelling fertilizer in a cul-de-sac instead of a glorious
mountain of hot pastrami. Yeah. Yeah. So first a little backstory,
(15:42):
roughly once every quarter or once every month, I guess
every four months would be the, is it four months?
What's the, there's 12.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
They said, they said there'd be no math, but every
quarter of the year, And if you're using the liberal
arts calendar, I meet up with one of my radio
homeboys from back in the day who has been on
this podcast in the past, Lee Klein. Lee DeKlein. Who
the hell is Lee Klein? Now, Lee Klein is a
(16:15):
acquired taste, a certified broadcasting legend from a golden era
of gasbaggery. Now, we worked together. I've known Lee since
I went to Saddleback College, and I used to sneak
into Clipper Games at the L.A. Sports Arena. One of
the first people I befriended was Lee Klein. And Lee
(16:35):
had worked in Philadelphia radio. He lived in Jersey, grew
up in Jersey. We worked together at the old AM
1150 in L.A., Extra Sports 1150, L.A. Sports Radio and
all that. He was the Clipper post-game talk show host,
and I'd hang out with him after Clipper games there
(16:57):
as he did his talk show. He worked at the mighty,
powerful AM640 KFI, more stimulating talk radio, back when radio
hosts were allowed to scream into a microphone without much
of a delay button or the corporate sensitivity coach in
the control room. Move along now, move along. So he
(17:19):
has long since retired from the radio game and lives
a quiet life as the elder statesman of radio. And
I love seeing Lee. We talk about the same stories
we've talked about for 30 years. And it just is
just wonderful. It's just like eating your mama's cooking, you know,
(17:40):
going back home after you've moved out and you go back,
you get that home cooked meal. And you think, well,
that's pretty good. Well, it's just boxed mac and cheese
and frozen fish sticks. But it's what I remember. It's nostalgia. Now,
because Lee was celebrating another milestone birthday and his annual
trip around the sun had shown up, I decided to
(18:02):
treat him to a birthday supper. Now, Lee and I
live in different galaxies these days. I reside in the
sprawling madness of the northern flank of Southern California's North Woods,
while he dwells down in the South Bay, looking out
at the mighty blue Pacific Ocean. Now, naturally, when you
(18:26):
have a situation like this, you need a neutral zone
to touch down. a geopolitical Mason-Dixon line midway between the
South Bay and the Northwoods. There's some call it the L.A.
Orange County barrier. So you enter into the chat now
(18:48):
the quintessential Jewish deli nestled roughly midway from the Northwoods
to the destination. This establishment is the temple of cholesterol.
They serve matzo ball soup. And I don't want to
exaggerate this. It's the size of a bowling ball. They've
(19:09):
got pastrami fries that should require a signed medical waiver
from a doctor. And you got the corned beef, of course,
the classic Jewish deli corned beef. You've got the pastrami.
The corned beef is so thick that you need jaw
rehinging surgery following that first bite. And the bakery... Ooh
(19:34):
la la, the bakery here. It features cream puffs, black
and white cookies. Every deli has to have black and
white cookies or they're not a real deli. And again,
I don't want to make this too dramatic, but I
counted the amount of cookies because we were waiting for
a table. and they have roughly 468 distinct varieties of
(19:55):
butter laden pastries. They've got the cookies with the sprinkles,
the whole thing. I love the cream puff. I love
the cream puff. I like to bake my own cookies.
The cream puffs I don't make. Amazing. And all of
this designed to make your cardiologist weep and just pound
(20:17):
the table and knock the avocado toast off the plate
and that whole thing. So it is my designated schmoozing
sanctuary whenever I need to swap lies with old airwave veterans.
who remember when podcasting was a speech impediment. What do
you do, a podcast? What are you, a loser? You're
a podcaster. Now I not only have the radio show,
(20:39):
I do the podcast. So we had agreed to an
early bird dinner. Now I consider early bird anything before
8 o'clock. Now this happened to be at 6.30 on
a Friday. Yeah, this was specifically arranged to accommodate My
friend Lee, he wanted to meet and drive with the
(21:00):
sun up and all that stuff. And I was like,
all right, you know, fine. You know, you want to
do it? You know, his night vision is not the
greatest and all that. Kind of like my patience for
some certain things in society, technology, certain things about technology
and all that. So I was like, all right. So
the plan, easy peasy, lemon squeezy. The execution, capital D, disaster.
(21:26):
I fell straight into autopilot mode. Has this ever happened
to you? Have you ever had this happen? It doesn't
really happen very much to me. So I climbed into
the Mallarmobile. I fired up the old GPS, typed in
the name of the deli, and I hit go. Well,
here's the kicker. So I know the restaurant. I go
(21:48):
here quite a bit. In fact, I've been to the
restaurant probably three times the last month. because there's family
that lives in that area, I could drive there blindfolded
while holding an ice water in my lap. I know
the turns, the landmarks, the exact pothole near the freeway
off-ramp that I get off of. Yet, out of pure
(22:11):
unadulterated habit, I deferred to that glowing rectangle mountain mounted, right?
It wasn't on my dashboard. It was kind of in
the middle console. I put my phone in the middle
console there. And It just was right there, and that
was it. And I put the pedal to the metal.
I merged into the gridlock, soul-crushing Southern California traffic. That
(22:35):
is a Friday evening at rush hour. And I blindly
followed the digital voice of a woman with a British accent.
And I held on, and that was it. And I
think this... woman on the traffic Google Maps thing has
(22:56):
a personal grudge against me. Now, to my credit, I
made fantastic time. I killed it. I don't know how
I made it so quickly, at least at the time
I didn't know how quickly or how I was going
to make it so quickly. So I crawled through the
traffic jam with the stoic patience of a man who
knows a warm plate of smoked meats is waits for
(23:20):
him at the finish line. I knew if I just
get to the restaurant, I've got big pastrami fries. I
got the matzo ball soup. I'm ready to go. So
I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving,
I'm driving. And I ended up arriving about 10 minutes early.
And I'm patting myself on the back, right? I'm like,
this is great. This is great. Now, Lee Klein, the
(23:42):
OG Prince of Darkness, had already reached out to me.
He got there before I did. So I was like,
all right, well, I'm here early, too. This is great.
Party on, my man. So I text him from the
parking situation. I thought I was about to turn into
the parking situation. I text him. I said, hey, I'm
pulling up. Grab us a table. I'll be in in
like five minutes. So I follow the GPS. It said
(24:05):
you'll be arriving soon. Your destination's coming up on the right.
So then I went down and I made the turn,
the final turn. Actually, I think it was a left turn.
I said right, but I think it was left turn.
It doesn't matter. So this was the moment of truth,
the moment where I should have pulled into the bustling
parking lot, smelling of rye bread and pickles, and not
(24:27):
that I like the smell of pickles. And that turned
out to be a false alarm. Instead, I ended up
at the cul-de-sac of shame. I found myself in a
quiet suburban neighborhood, a standard residential neighborhood, and There was
no pastrami for miles, no latkes, no bagels with lox
(24:47):
and cream cheese, not a single black and white cookie
within a five-mile radius, just a sunburned street, the smell
of fertilizer. And the gardeners had clearly been there. There
was a parked Honda Civic and a guy that looked
like he may be named Gary, but I'm not sure.
I didn't talk to him. And he was out in
(25:08):
front watering his hydrangeas. And he had a visor on.
which was okay. The sun was still up. It wasn't
that bright at that time. So I had experienced an
unforced error of the technical nature, a total glitch in
the autopilot, or more accurately, a massive brain fart on
(25:29):
my part. Brain fart on my part. I had typed
in the right name to the deli, but apparently blindly
selected an alternative location. which I'm not sure how this happened,
because I didn't end up at a deli. And I
didn't end up at any location that remotely had the
(25:51):
name of said deli. And I was on the opposite
side of town. So I sat there in the cul-de-sac
at the curb. The engine was idling. I was staring
at my phone in absolute disbelief. I was convinced that
I had punched in the correct address. And I don't
(26:13):
know what happened. Everything seemed fine. It was kind of
the same way I usually go. And I was like,
all right, well, I got to go to the place.
So I typed in the right address or the right
name of the restaurant, the deli. And I, you know,
the old refresh thing. And I updated the route. And boy,
(26:34):
the news, your time to destination, your time of arrival
will be 30 minutes away. Holy bat crap, Batman. This
was certified, grade A, top tier, FML to infinity and beyond.
It was an FML mall. So my expected destination, classic
(26:55):
Jewish deli, I planned on being there at 620. The
actual destination was, I think, a guy named Gary with
a lot of fertilizer and a suburban cul-de-sac at 620.
The distance penalty, 30 minutes of more traffic. And now
came the hardest part of this entire ordeal, the call
of shame. Not the walk of shame, the call of shame.
(27:17):
So I had to phone my buddy Lee back, who
was currently sitting alone at a table for two inside
a jam-packed deli. And he was just sitting there at
the table at the restaurant, probably fending off the waitstaff
holding menus and saying, would you like anything, sir? And
I had to inform him that The person he was
(27:40):
meeting who said, get a table. I'll be there in
five minutes. Well, now I was a half an hour away.
So that meant you're going to be sitting there for
35 minutes. Yeah, because I didn't know how to operate
the satellite-based navigation system correctly, apparently, or it malfunctioned. So
I braced myself. Now, Lee's a bit of a surly guy.
(28:03):
Curmudgeon would be the word that you could use to
describe my friend Lee. And I was fully anticipating Lee Klein.
reading me the Riot Act, delivering a classic old-school radio
tirade about my incompetence. Instead, Lee was a good sport.
He laughed. He told me not to worry. He had
no idea what FML meant. And he had to order
(28:27):
an appetizer. He had to have an appetizer, so that
cost me some more money. All of this, frankly, made
it so much worse. Because I was expecting a rant.
Indifference is not what I had on my bingo card.
And I feel like indifference is far more embarrassing than anger.
So have I ever had something like this happen? You know,
(28:48):
there's odd things that happen. Otherwise, I guess I'd have
nothing to talk about on this podcast. It just seems
like these things are happening more and more. And we
live in an era where we have delegated our basic
human instincts to to algorithms programmed by 23-year-old wokesters in
(29:08):
Cupertino who have never had to look at a paper
Thomas guide in their lives, right? Never had to do it.
And you think about the Native Americans, the Indians, and
the early settlers and how they would determine where they
were based on the location of the sun. And the
moon and the stars. And here we are, if one
(29:30):
thing goes wrong with the GPS, oh boy. So back
in the day, if you wanted to go somewhere, you
pulled out the giant, as we mentioned, unfolding. paper map
that covered the entire windshield. You wrestled with it like
a shark in a net. You traced your finger along
the 101 freeway. You made a mental note of the exits.
(29:52):
You remembered where you were going. If you missed a turn,
it was your fault. You owned it. If you got lost,
you went to a gas station. And you ask the
person at the gas station. Now, you punch in three
letters into a glass screen, shut off your prefrontal cortex,
and follow a computerized voice off the edge of a
(30:15):
metaphorical cliff. So we are so accustomed to outsourcing our
brainpower that if GPS told us to drive directly into
the Pacific Ocean, because it was actually a shortcut to
get to Kauai, I'm pretty sure that half of Southern
California would be bobbing in the surf in Santa Monica
(30:40):
with their windshield wipers on. In fact, there are stories
like this where people drive into pools and things like that. Now,
if the satellites all stop working and suddenly we don't
have GPS technology that works... Holy crap. What are people
going to do? Could you imagine? You've never lived that life.
At least I would kind of know what to do
(31:00):
because I had the Thomas Guide thing and all that
back in the day. Now, most people younger than me
forget about it. The lesson here is as old as carpentry.
You measure twice, you cut once. Or in the context
of modern lazy adulthood, you type in the proper address,
you double-check that, do the discount double-check, And make sure
(31:24):
you're routing or routing yourself to the proper place. And
you're not going to a cul-de-sac with fertilizer and the
whole thing. So I obviously eventually made it to the deli.
The pastrami was hot. The matzo ball soup was comforting.
And the Prince of Darkness, my friend Lee, did not
(31:46):
let me pay for the mistake with anything more than
my remaining pride. But the next time I head out
for a meal, which usually happens once every month or so,
I am leaving the phone in the glove box, opening
the window, and navigating strictly by the scent of mustard
(32:10):
and cured beef. And I believe, and I think you'll agree,
that is the only logical way forward. On that note,
have a wonderful rest of your Sunday here, one of
the final Sundays before the NFL is back. So enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
(32:30):
And so that's what we have. That's what we have
to look forward to today is this podcast. And then
tonight we have the Ben Maller Show returning all week.
Fresh content, fresh content all week. Cannot wait. to give
you the rundown on the Maller meet and greet, some stories.
I'm sure we'll tell some stories tonight and all that. Anyway,
(32:53):
as Dick and Dayton would say, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Bye, Felicia.
If you thought four hours a day, 1,200 minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole bastion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Maller. Well,
you kind of already knew that. And here we are
yet again, another glorious day in the magic audio box,
otherwise known as the Fifth Hour Podcast. It is Sunday,
the 30th day of August, or as we like to say,
(00:49):
the morning after another legendary Maller meet and greet. So
I received a subliminal message from from my P1 who
no longer listens live. He sold out our friend Terry
in England, who has been on the mailbag podcast. And
Terry said, Ben, I know you want to spend the
(01:10):
entire hour on this podcast, breaking down what it was
like at the stakeout bar and grill for the big
Mallor meet and greet that took place on Saturday. However,
Terry reminded me through this subliminal message. He said, Ben,
I need you. I need you to stay calm. I
(01:32):
want you to hold off on giving a knee-jerk recap.
We need you to stay still and wait. Wait till
next week. So in honor of the wishes of Terry
in England, just to be totally transparent here, we are
going to wait. And then on Friday's podcast, we will
(01:56):
connect the dots. We will piece together the puzzle. And
these things are always puzzles. There were things that were
supposed to happen yesterday that didn't happen. There were things
that we didn't expect to happen that did happen. And
so we'll get to the bottom of all that. We'll
figure it out. I'm going to think about exactly what
(02:18):
happened and how I want to share that with you.
And so that'll take place. On the Friday podcast. On
this edition, we've got the white whale and GPS betrayal.
That's right. I know. That's too much pod. That's way
too much pod. Well, we're going to begin with this.
(02:43):
And I know it is a Debbie Downer. That's a
phrase that doesn't get used much anymore. The Debbie Downer phrase.
I'll be the killjoy. Yeah, whatever you want to say there.
Bleak Benny. Yeah, Bad News Benny. Sourdough Sam. All those things.
All those things. No mailbag today. Now, the reason we're
(03:05):
not doing a mailbag is because it's a travel weekend.
Viva Las Vegas. And pretty much anybody I wanted to
get on the mailbag who could get on the mailbag...
meaning they don't have their Obama phone and they have
a real phone, was either at the meet and greet
or not available. So no mailbag today. I know it's
a bummer. I know you're disappointed, right? And you're probably
(03:29):
slouching your shoulders right now and you've got pouty lips
and you're crossing your arms and all those things. It
will return, barring some kind of plot twist, it will
return on the next weekend of the pod. So A
week from today, which will be our first Sunday in September,
we will have the mailbag. So plan ahead. You can
(03:52):
email me at any point today, tomorrow, whenever for the mailbag,
and we'll use it on next week's edition. So if
you did send a message this past week, and I
know we got a few, actually one of them I'm
going to use, just kind of hold off on that
and send again, and we'll do the mailbag next week. Now,
I mentioned I didn't want to share one correspondence that
(04:14):
I received this week that was head and shoulders above
the rest. Either that or I just happened to accidentally
click it open. It is involving our search for El Dorado.
What does that mean? For many years, many, many years now,
we have been on a quest, an audio quest, to
(04:34):
find what I maintain is the greatest Jerry Jones drop
of all time. Now, Jerry has been on microphones and
in front of cameras since before I got into radio.
I was like in high school when Jerry Jones got
the Cowboys. So my entire career, I've always had the
crutch of Jerry Jones saying goofy things, doing goofy things. Yet,
(05:02):
as I have chronicled this.
Since back when I started in radio and the Cowboys
were actually winning Super Bowls, believe it or not, I
know it's shocking. The greatest single drop of all time
is Jerry talking about a mosquito, specifically circumcising a mosquito. Now,
Jerry has his own collection of drops that I believe
(05:25):
can rival the Beatles song catalog, which is considered the
creme de la creme Am I right on that? I'm
not a music guy. I don't have the music gene.
I remember reading a story about the Beatles song catalog
and how amazing that was. And a bunch of different
people had stakes in it. Michael Jackson at one point
(05:48):
owned part of the Beatles song catalog, if not all
of it. The holy grail, though, of a music library...
circumcising a mosquito that includes, let's go back and look
at some of the hits here. This is not a list.
This is not, it's not, it's a big board. Jerry
Jones music library of drops that includes platinum songs. Like
(06:09):
I want me some glory hole, which we play a lot.
When the Cowboys were in last place about a decade
ago or so, Jerry Jones gave the famous quote that
he was lower than a crippled cricket's ass, which is outstanding. Outstanding, right?
All these country slang terms that Jerry Jones uses. He
(06:30):
gave a dropout. He said, I'm looking up on my back,
when the Cowboys were not doing well, looking up on
my back, and all I see is ass. I want
a different perspective. That's what he said. Back in 2020,
there was some chatter about Dez Bryant playing and coming
back and all that. And Jerry Jones said, I've been
thinking about it in the shower. And all of those
(06:53):
are great, and there's a bunch of other drops that
Jerry's given us over the years. However, I maintain the
circumcising the mosquito quote is the white whale. It's been
pursued by many, but never caught again. We did have it.
We had the drop circumcising the mosquito, and somehow it vanished.
(07:16):
And we've never been able to catch it again. And yes,
those words actually did escape the mouth of the Dallas
Cowboys owner. We're not making that up. This is not
some kind of fever dream. It's not urban legend. And
it apparently happened a decade ago, almost exactly a decade ago,
September of 2016. during Jerry's appearance on the radio in Dallas.
(07:43):
He was doing sports radio there while discussing on his
weekly radio show. He does two shows a week. He
was discussing Tony Romo's roster status in September of 2016,
and he was yapping away and going on a lot.
Contemporary reports, if you go back into the Wayback Machine,
(08:05):
confirm that this happened. But where did the actual audio go?
Scrubbed from the interwebs, vanished. And so that's the part
of the story where we welcome in the mailbag. Now,
this is not an official mailbag. This is a one-off mailbag.
I just happened to see this and open it up.
(08:26):
Enter our P1 Quang, who claims to be listening faithfully
to us from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. That's what he says. Now,
Quang went above and beyond the call of duty, and
he has joined the unofficial MBI movement, as Alf and
Fergdog and Malapropguy know, the Malheur Bureau of Investigations. This
(08:49):
is not to be confused with the FBI. This is
the Malheur Bureau of Investigations. And our keystone cop, Detective Quang,
identified the exact date through his He found what radio
station it happened on. He found the exact subject matter
that we were looking for. And then, like any good
(09:10):
member of the Malheur Bureau of Investigations, he reached out
to the representation from that radio station. He contacted, found
the email for the boss of the radio station, and
requested the archived audio. Quang's just a listener. And he
got it. Stonewalled. Little Stonewall Jackson is what he got.
(09:36):
No mosquito for you. The station reached out to him.
Very nice email. Short email. And announced they would not
fulfill the request for said audio. Now, Quang later sent
us a message apologizing for coming up empty. And I
was trying to think, why would you apologize? Quang, you
(09:57):
have nothing to apologize for. You did more impressive investigative
work on the circumcised mosquito caper than Woodward and Bernstein.
This is investigative journalism. You're going to be eligible for
a Pulitzer Prize, even though you didn't actually win it.
If that podcast guy who spent months and months and
(10:18):
months talking about Kawhi Leonard won a Pulitzer Prize, why
can't Quang from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, win a Pulitzer
Prize for this work? So you did go above and
beyond the call of duty for the Malheur militia. And unfortunately...
We don't have any money to give you. We have
no budget, so sorry, we can't do that. Since you
(10:41):
went above and beyond the call of duty, therefore, by
the completely imaginary authority vested in me by the Malheur Militia,
I am proud to announce as your leader, the oligarch, Quang,
you have received an unofficial imaginary Malheur Militia puffy sticker.
That's right. Congratulations. Scratch and sniff. Yeah. Wear it with pride.
(11:09):
Wear it with pride. I actually had a guy message me.
This is one of the listeners a couple years ago.
I don't even know if I talked about this on
the podcast. Every once in a while, I'll mention puffy
stickers because when I was a kid in school, the
kids loved it, especially the girls. They loved those puffy stickers.
It was a big deal, the scratch and sniff things.
(11:31):
Although I don't think you, I don't remember Puffy Scratch
and Sniff. I think that might have been a creation
in my mind. Anyway, so somebody reached out and said,
why don't we make some Malheur Militia Puffy stickers? And
I was like, okay, you know, I'm in. And then
it went nowhere, as most of these things do, when
people reach out and say, I got t-shirts, I got hats,
I got coffee mugs, I got koozies, keychains. And so
(11:55):
I get all excited and I'm like, oh, this is
gonna be great. We're gonna have a Malheur store, Malheur merch,
and then Suddenly the emails stop coming back to me
and it just goes away. That would be cool to
have like a really nice, and you could do it now,
this cartoon Malheur Militia puffy sticker thing. That would be great. Anyway, Quang,
in my head, I'm giving you a Malheur Militia puffy sticker,
(12:17):
scratch and sniff. Wear it with pride. I'm sure it's
going to be a chick magnet. It's kind of like
going to a park with a puppy. Everyone runs over
to you and says, oh, let me see the puppy. Whee!
The puppy! Unfortunately, the Jerry Jones mosquito remains uncircumcised and
I believe is hanging out with Sasquatch and a lizard person.
(12:41):
So I don't know what they're doing. They're playing some
card games. Meanwhile, to a story that has never before
been told on this podcast... A guy that we almost
had on, Ron Popeil. We had him booked. I was
in the pod studio recording, ready to go. We had
(13:01):
a time set up for Ron Popeil. And right before
the interview, I got a message from his publicist saying,
Ron has decided not to do the interview and apologize.
And that was it. We never got him on. But
Ron Popeil once promised us, every man, woman, and child,
the smooth talking certainty of an infomercial messiah saying the
(13:25):
words that were simple, one, two, three, four, five words
that have stood the test of time long after Ron
has left this mortal coil. Set it and forget it.
That was the promise by Ron Popeil, the late-night infomercial messiah.
And he just said it simply, set it and forget it.
(13:45):
And Ron was talking about rotisserie chickens. But humanity, lazy,
perpetually distracted, and desperate for shortcuts, decided to apply this
grand philosophy to everyday life, including basic navigation. Now, I
(14:06):
am so old. How old are you? I'm so old.
When I was a kid, we'd go on road trips.
to Arizona or Nevada or Northern California. And I remember
going with my mom to the auto club to get
the maps. Cause they would, as an auto club member,
they would give you maps. And so this was always
a big thing. And then we had the plan exactly
where we wanted to go. Had no idea what the
(14:29):
traffic was like, what the quality of the road was like.
We had these Thomas brother maps and that was it.
We did our thing. And so that, that was our navigation. Well,
navigation is, Now, you say, well, not so fast, my friends.
There is a precise soul-crushing moment when a man realizes
that modern satellite technology has not freed the mind. Merely,
(14:53):
it has automated the capacity to embarrassing self-sabotage. Now, for me,
that realization landed at 6.20 p.m. on a Friday, a
Not this past Friday because I was in Vegas, but
the previous Friday. It just happened. And I found myself
(15:15):
idling in a silent suburban cul-de-sac that smelled like lawn fertilizer.
Why would anyone put lawn fertilizer down at night? It
was six. The sun was still out. 620. There I
was smelling fertilizer in a cul-de-sac instead of a glorious
mountain of hot pastrami. Yeah. Yeah. So first a little backstory,
(15:42):
roughly once every quarter or once every month, I guess
every four months would be the, is it four months?
What's the, there's 12.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
They said, they said there'd be no math, but every
quarter of the year, And if you're using the liberal
arts calendar, I meet up with one of my radio
homeboys from back in the day who has been on
this podcast in the past, Lee Klein. Lee DeKlein. Who
the hell is Lee Klein? Now, Lee Klein is a
(16:15):
acquired taste, a certified broadcasting legend from a golden era
of gasbaggery. Now, we worked together. I've known Lee since
I went to Saddleback College, and I used to sneak
into Clipper Games at the L.A. Sports Arena. One of
the first people I befriended was Lee Klein. And Lee
(16:35):
had worked in Philadelphia radio. He lived in Jersey, grew
up in Jersey. We worked together at the old AM
1150 in L.A., Extra Sports 1150, L.A. Sports Radio and
all that. He was the Clipper post-game talk show host,
and I'd hang out with him after Clipper games there
(16:57):
as he did his talk show. He worked at the mighty,
powerful AM640 KFI, more stimulating talk radio, back when radio
hosts were allowed to scream into a microphone without much
of a delay button or the corporate sensitivity coach in
the control room. Move along now, move along. So he
(17:19):
has long since retired from the radio game and lives
a quiet life as the elder statesman of radio. And
I love seeing Lee. We talk about the same stories
we've talked about for 30 years. And it just is
just wonderful. It's just like eating your mama's cooking, you know,
(17:40):
going back home after you've moved out and you go back,
you get that home cooked meal. And you think, well,
that's pretty good. Well, it's just boxed mac and cheese
and frozen fish sticks. But it's what I remember. It's nostalgia. Now,
because Lee was celebrating another milestone birthday and his annual
trip around the sun had shown up, I decided to
(18:02):
treat him to a birthday supper. Now, Lee and I
live in different galaxies these days. I reside in the
sprawling madness of the northern flank of Southern California's North Woods,
while he dwells down in the South Bay, looking out
at the mighty blue Pacific Ocean. Now, naturally, when you
(18:26):
have a situation like this, you need a neutral zone
to touch down. a geopolitical Mason-Dixon line midway between the
South Bay and the Northwoods. There's some call it the L.A.
Orange County barrier. So you enter into the chat now
(18:48):
the quintessential Jewish deli nestled roughly midway from the Northwoods
to the destination. This establishment is the temple of cholesterol.
They serve matzo ball soup. And I don't want to
exaggerate this. It's the size of a bowling ball. They've
(19:09):
got pastrami fries that should require a signed medical waiver
from a doctor. And you got the corned beef, of course,
the classic Jewish deli corned beef. You've got the pastrami.
The corned beef is so thick that you need jaw
rehinging surgery following that first bite. And the bakery... Ooh
(19:34):
la la, the bakery here. It features cream puffs, black
and white cookies. Every deli has to have black and
white cookies or they're not a real deli. And again,
I don't want to make this too dramatic, but I
counted the amount of cookies because we were waiting for
a table. and they have roughly 468 distinct varieties of
(19:55):
butter laden pastries. They've got the cookies with the sprinkles,
the whole thing. I love the cream puff. I love
the cream puff. I like to bake my own cookies.
The cream puffs I don't make. Amazing. And all of
this designed to make your cardiologist weep and just pound
(20:17):
the table and knock the avocado toast off the plate
and that whole thing. So it is my designated schmoozing
sanctuary whenever I need to swap lies with old airwave veterans.
who remember when podcasting was a speech impediment. What do
you do, a podcast? What are you, a loser? You're
a podcaster. Now I not only have the radio show,
(20:39):
I do the podcast. So we had agreed to an
early bird dinner. Now I consider early bird anything before
8 o'clock. Now this happened to be at 6.30 on
a Friday. Yeah, this was specifically arranged to accommodate My
friend Lee, he wanted to meet and drive with the
(21:00):
sun up and all that stuff. And I was like,
all right, you know, fine. You know, you want to
do it? You know, his night vision is not the
greatest and all that. Kind of like my patience for
some certain things in society, technology, certain things about technology
and all that. So I was like, all right. So
the plan, easy peasy, lemon squeezy. The execution, capital D, disaster.
(21:26):
I fell straight into autopilot mode. Has this ever happened
to you? Have you ever had this happen? It doesn't
really happen very much to me. So I climbed into
the Mallarmobile. I fired up the old GPS, typed in
the name of the deli, and I hit go. Well,
here's the kicker. So I know the restaurant. I go
(21:48):
here quite a bit. In fact, I've been to the
restaurant probably three times the last month. because there's family
that lives in that area, I could drive there blindfolded
while holding an ice water in my lap. I know
the turns, the landmarks, the exact pothole near the freeway
off-ramp that I get off of. Yet, out of pure
(22:11):
unadulterated habit, I deferred to that glowing rectangle mountain mounted, right?
It wasn't on my dashboard. It was kind of in
the middle console. I put my phone in the middle
console there. And It just was right there, and that
was it. And I put the pedal to the metal.
I merged into the gridlock, soul-crushing Southern California traffic. That
(22:35):
is a Friday evening at rush hour. And I blindly
followed the digital voice of a woman with a British accent.
And I held on, and that was it. And I
think this... woman on the traffic Google Maps thing has
(22:56):
a personal grudge against me. Now, to my credit, I
made fantastic time. I killed it. I don't know how
I made it so quickly, at least at the time
I didn't know how quickly or how I was going
to make it so quickly. So I crawled through the
traffic jam with the stoic patience of a man who
knows a warm plate of smoked meats is waits for
(23:20):
him at the finish line. I knew if I just
get to the restaurant, I've got big pastrami fries. I
got the matzo ball soup. I'm ready to go. So
I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm driving,
I'm driving. And I ended up arriving about 10 minutes early.
And I'm patting myself on the back, right? I'm like,
this is great. This is great. Now, Lee Klein, the
(23:42):
OG Prince of Darkness, had already reached out to me.
He got there before I did. So I was like,
all right, well, I'm here early, too. This is great.
Party on, my man. So I text him from the
parking situation. I thought I was about to turn into
the parking situation. I text him. I said, hey, I'm
pulling up. Grab us a table. I'll be in in
like five minutes. So I follow the GPS. It said
(24:05):
you'll be arriving soon. Your destination's coming up on the right.
So then I went down and I made the turn,
the final turn. Actually, I think it was a left turn.
I said right, but I think it was left turn.
It doesn't matter. So this was the moment of truth,
the moment where I should have pulled into the bustling
parking lot, smelling of rye bread and pickles, and not
(24:27):
that I like the smell of pickles. And that turned
out to be a false alarm. Instead, I ended up
at the cul-de-sac of shame. I found myself in a
quiet suburban neighborhood, a standard residential neighborhood, and There was
no pastrami for miles, no latkes, no bagels with lox
(24:47):
and cream cheese, not a single black and white cookie
within a five-mile radius, just a sunburned street, the smell
of fertilizer. And the gardeners had clearly been there. There
was a parked Honda Civic and a guy that looked
like he may be named Gary, but I'm not sure.
I didn't talk to him. And he was out in
(25:08):
front watering his hydrangeas. And he had a visor on.
which was okay. The sun was still up. It wasn't
that bright at that time. So I had experienced an
unforced error of the technical nature, a total glitch in
the autopilot, or more accurately, a massive brain fart on
(25:29):
my part. Brain fart on my part. I had typed
in the right name to the deli, but apparently blindly
selected an alternative location. which I'm not sure how this happened,
because I didn't end up at a deli. And I
didn't end up at any location that remotely had the
(25:51):
name of said deli. And I was on the opposite
side of town. So I sat there in the cul-de-sac
at the curb. The engine was idling. I was staring
at my phone in absolute disbelief. I was convinced that
I had punched in the correct address. And I don't
(26:13):
know what happened. Everything seemed fine. It was kind of
the same way I usually go. And I was like,
all right, well, I got to go to the place.
So I typed in the right address or the right
name of the restaurant, the deli. And I, you know,
the old refresh thing. And I updated the route. And boy,
(26:34):
the news, your time to destination, your time of arrival
will be 30 minutes away. Holy bat crap, Batman. This
was certified, grade A, top tier, FML to infinity and beyond.
It was an FML mall. So my expected destination, classic
(26:55):
Jewish deli, I planned on being there at 620. The
actual destination was, I think, a guy named Gary with
a lot of fertilizer and a suburban cul-de-sac at 620.
The distance penalty, 30 minutes of more traffic. And now
came the hardest part of this entire ordeal, the call
of shame. Not the walk of shame, the call of shame.
(27:17):
So I had to phone my buddy Lee back, who
was currently sitting alone at a table for two inside
a jam-packed deli. And he was just sitting there at
the table at the restaurant, probably fending off the waitstaff
holding menus and saying, would you like anything, sir? And
I had to inform him that The person he was
(27:40):
meeting who said, get a table. I'll be there in
five minutes. Well, now I was a half an hour away.
So that meant you're going to be sitting there for
35 minutes. Yeah, because I didn't know how to operate
the satellite-based navigation system correctly, apparently, or it malfunctioned. So
I braced myself. Now, Lee's a bit of a surly guy.
(28:03):
Curmudgeon would be the word that you could use to
describe my friend Lee. And I was fully anticipating Lee Klein.
reading me the Riot Act, delivering a classic old-school radio
tirade about my incompetence. Instead, Lee was a good sport.
He laughed. He told me not to worry. He had
no idea what FML meant. And he had to order
(28:27):
an appetizer. He had to have an appetizer, so that
cost me some more money. All of this, frankly, made
it so much worse. Because I was expecting a rant.
Indifference is not what I had on my bingo card.
And I feel like indifference is far more embarrassing than anger.
So have I ever had something like this happen? You know,
(28:48):
there's odd things that happen. Otherwise, I guess I'd have
nothing to talk about on this podcast. It just seems
like these things are happening more and more. And we
live in an era where we have delegated our basic
human instincts to to algorithms programmed by 23-year-old wokesters in
(29:08):
Cupertino who have never had to look at a paper
Thomas guide in their lives, right? Never had to do it.
And you think about the Native Americans, the Indians, and
the early settlers and how they would determine where they
were based on the location of the sun. And the
moon and the stars. And here we are, if one
(29:30):
thing goes wrong with the GPS, oh boy. So back
in the day, if you wanted to go somewhere, you
pulled out the giant, as we mentioned, unfolding. paper map
that covered the entire windshield. You wrestled with it like
a shark in a net. You traced your finger along
the 101 freeway. You made a mental note of the exits.
(29:52):
You remembered where you were going. If you missed a turn,
it was your fault. You owned it. If you got lost,
you went to a gas station. And you ask the
person at the gas station. Now, you punch in three
letters into a glass screen, shut off your prefrontal cortex,
and follow a computerized voice off the edge of a
(30:15):
metaphorical cliff. So we are so accustomed to outsourcing our
brainpower that if GPS told us to drive directly into
the Pacific Ocean, because it was actually a shortcut to
get to Kauai, I'm pretty sure that half of Southern
California would be bobbing in the surf in Santa Monica
(30:40):
with their windshield wipers on. In fact, there are stories
like this where people drive into pools and things like that. Now,
if the satellites all stop working and suddenly we don't
have GPS technology that works... Holy crap. What are people
going to do? Could you imagine? You've never lived that life.
At least I would kind of know what to do
(31:00):
because I had the Thomas Guide thing and all that
back in the day. Now, most people younger than me
forget about it. The lesson here is as old as carpentry.
You measure twice, you cut once. Or in the context
of modern lazy adulthood, you type in the proper address,
you double-check that, do the discount double-check, And make sure
(31:24):
you're routing or routing yourself to the proper place. And
you're not going to a cul-de-sac with fertilizer and the
whole thing. So I obviously eventually made it to the deli.
The pastrami was hot. The matzo ball soup was comforting.
And the Prince of Darkness, my friend Lee, did not
(31:46):
let me pay for the mistake with anything more than
my remaining pride. But the next time I head out
for a meal, which usually happens once every month or so,
I am leaving the phone in the glove box, opening
the window, and navigating strictly by the scent of mustard
(32:10):
and cured beef. And I believe, and I think you'll agree,
that is the only logical way forward. On that note,
have a wonderful rest of your Sunday here, one of
the final Sundays before the NFL is back. So enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
(32:30):
And so that's what we have. That's what we have
to look forward to today is this podcast. And then
tonight we have the Ben Maller Show returning all week.
Fresh content, fresh content all week. Cannot wait. to give
you the rundown on the Maller meet and greet, some stories.
I'm sure we'll tell some stories tonight and all that. Anyway,
(32:53):
as Dick and Dayton would say, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Bye, Felicia.
Host
Ben Maller
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