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November 28, 2017 15 mins

The show is going out to a FANCY dinner tonight BUT is it "too fancy" for us??

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Elvis Presents Minute Morning Show? What did you buy? You
know what? I didn't buy anything. You didn't buy anything.
I didn't buy anything. I went home. I had the

the full intent to wake up from a nap and
buy about five things for family members on Cyber Monday.
Slept through it just like meal. This morning, it's the
fifteen minute Morning Show. I'm scary. That's Nate, this Brody
and I don't know who else is gonna join us,
but you might just be us. Brody's big on getting deals.
We were talking about cyber Monday and have I Nate

and I both missed out? I mean, we really did.
I I dropped the ball. And then I woke up
at like seven o'clock last night in a fog, and
I posted it on Twitter too. I'm like, I'm fomo.
I had Cyber Monday fomo because everyone was talking about
all the deals they got, all the websites they was
scouring throughout the day. And then when I posted it,
I was reassured because all the people on Twitter and

Instagram caj when I rescue and said, I didn't buy anything.
It's all a bunch of crap. This is this is
stuff you don't need, don't worry about it. Scary. The
deals were better the other day on Black Friday, then
they were so then what the hell? Then what's the
deal with Cyber Monday. Well, Cyber Monday was supposed to
be like the day that everybody shops on their phones.

And the problem is every day is cyber day. Everyday
people shop on their phones in their laptops. It's not
a big deal anymore. And Black Friday was more cyber
shopping than waiting online. And so what happened on Friday
was a lot of stores ran out. The sales was
so huge on Friday, they ran out of items. So
things I was going to buy yesterday I got Friday

and so I did the same thing. I took a nap.
Yesterday we were on the show six am, East Coast,
woke up, went on the first commercial break, one online
look for things. Some of the things were more money
than they were on Friday. The sales weren't as good,
and I went home, took nap. I woke up like
I went from six to seven. Woke up at seven
and I looked and either things were sold out or
I gotta be honest, they were things that don't really need.

They were a lot of television sets, but like medium size,
like you want to win me over, put the big
ones on sale, so you know what it was. It
was a lot of either the small ones, which is
fine if that's what you need, or like the five
thousand dollar ones were only four thousand dollars. That's a
good deal if you have five thousand dollars. I don't
have four thousand dollars to save the thousand. Yeah, that's

the thing I noticed all of these different websites they had,
oh Black Friday special off everything. If you're if you
go to those sites a lot, you know that is
a pretty common discount. It's nothing. It's pretty much shipping
in hand. You gotta start before I'll bother exactly, Like
as soon as you start to see then you know

you're getting a bargain. But even then they may have
jacked up the price in the first place to justify
the research. I'm not gonna say, oh, you guys can
figure out. But those large companies that everything's on on
and they ship it to in two days, a lot
of times those are last year's TV models and they're
they're discounted. Because they're discounted, they're moving them out clearance, right,
But you don't know. You're not a t I'm a

TV connoisseur, so I know if it's like seven zero
at the end that it's last year's and eight zero
is the new one. It makes a difference. I'm saying
if I really I research. Of course I do. But
if I'm gonna buy a Samsung TV, I know what
the new model is. I research it, and a lot
of times it's a two year old set. So it's
two year old technology, which is fine if that's what
you can afford, but don't be don't buy it because

it's on sale, because truthfully, it's on sale everywhere. Not
only that, but I think some of these larger brands
don't they make a cheaper version of their television to
sell on Black Friday. Right, So it'll it'll have only
like two HDMI inputs instead of four. It'll like one
number different, and it's like, oh, it's the A lot
of times you'll see, oh, it's a fifty h D
t V, but if you look into it, it's only

as far as the resolution, but it's still considered HD.
But it's not the good one, or it doesn't have
I'm gonna bore people. I know, it doesn't have a
fast motion rate so like the like the mega hurts,
so like it's sixty hurts instead of to forty. And
that means when you watch race cars or sports, it
gets a little blurry. So they can they can show
you a TV that looks great, but if you don't know,

you're buying a crappy quality plastic leather jacket that looks
like leather. So instead of leave, a lot of people
just fell for the idea of shop. They go buy
the inches, ladies, don't buy the don't go buy the inches.
That's what I'm saying. It's not about the size of
the TV. It's also about the quality of it, the colors.
It's about the fast motion. Right, fast motion, lady, it's
all about the fast motion. Well, the high class problem

I have I just bought this is such a class
But I think you have one, don't you too? High
class problems? I do not. I bought a tuxedo, you know,
I just finally all right a high class problems. I
bought a tuxedo when I got married. It is far
from it. Looks like a penguin, but it doesn't look
like us worker. Yeah, it's brown matter a long time ago.

You can't wear the one I have anymore. So I
got these shoes right there, tuxedo shoes. They're the really
shiny patent leather ones. And I'm like, how often am
I gonna wear these things? You three times a week? Possibly,
But I'm like, I'm not gonna spend that much money
on shoes. So I got prepared for off of Amazon
and it said patent leather. But with the then you

don't realize is it's I mean, technically called patent leather,
but it's not leather. I don't know what that is.
Patton leather is not leather. If if you buy the
shoes I did, it's not he got Platin leather comes
to the copy of Fight Songs, Platton, I mean it
is some I wore the shoes for about five minutes
yesterday just trying them on. My feet were so sweaty.
I don't know what kind of material. Let it looking

on toilet paper exactly. I mean, no one of these
shoes would so cheap. I'm gonna wear ones like disposable.
That's awful, though, my high class from I don't have
a what high class problem do I have? Oh? My god,
what do we talk about? The VERSACEI acket? I warned
him by the way we went to we went to
a business event that was business casual. Scary showed up

in a suede Versaci smoking jacket. That was a good yeah,
but he was all addressed for that event when he
told me business casual, and I will like khakis in
a sweater and so I we we're all going to
dinner tonight. As I said, Hey, what's the dress code?
So he says, oh, it's um, it's a business cheek.
I said, I don't know. I don't know what that is.
I don't I buy Target, and he does think it's

Brooklyn Industrial. I said, I don't know what that is.
I'm not Brooklyn Industrial. I'm wearing I'm wearing a plan
from American Eagle. And he's like a think Wall Street,
uh hamp meets Hampton's And he said, I don't know
what that means. I'm like, can I just wear like
a stripe button down shirt? He's like, it's gotta be

like techno ARMANI I'm like the restaurant, it's kind of
like it's like a Bottles and Models club meets a
classic Japanese sushi spot. I don't know what he's how
I dress. Nachos meets Mozra's, That's how I dress. Here's

my Applebee's flair. This is what I'm working. You know,
the walls and t J I Friday's. I could blend
right in with that, like Alon. Now, this place is?
This places is. It's a nice it's a really great restaurant,
but it's more clubby, trendy, minimalist, modern minimal. I have

a minimal money And I say, you would be driving
me nuts because I'm one of these people. I don't
know if anybody else is like this. I have to
be dressed very similarly to the style of everybody else
that I'm going out with. And if not, if let's
say it's a I don't know whatever event and its
suits and I come in and jeans and a T shirt,
I will feel so awkward, so awkward I can I'll

have to leave. Have you been to this restaurant we're
going to today? It's it's kind of like, um, it's
like a fusion between I'm telling you, it feels like
if you know what the restaurant Nobu is like, which
is like it's a minimalist like Japanese restaurant with benches
and stuff, with great food. So combine that with the

bottles and models, nightclub with a velvet rope, and it's
clubby trendy, but it's fashion forward. It's Merril Marco Harriet's.
It's kind of it's like a marriage of fusion of
the two. Okay, you know he's like, do you remember
that Bill Hayter character from Essenel. That's that's scary. It's
got it's got models, dancing chimpanzees and Wall Street guys

and porsches. It's perfect for you, Bronnie. How else to
described this place? I explain the Garrett the kind of
place we're going to explain it sounds like a scary party.
It's a scary party. It's like there's scary parties. It's like,
the guy's an iron chef. The guy's guy. The guy's
an iron chef. What are you going to wear today?

You wearing your vestachi jacket tonight? Then? Or is this
not called the smoking jacket? He's like that Hugh Hefner.
You know where you're going to dinner. It's not you
would be overdressing. Nope, it's changed since you heard what
it was. It's not Charlie Byrd anymore. No, now we're
going to marry Marmoto. Okay, what do you think about
Mori Motor? How would you describe that? Garrett Strippers? Uh?

It is very good? Is it? Brody? I have a
feeling Brody will be asked not to come back over again.
Do they have bottomless refills on the soda? There's no
such things. Have price apps for the record, we're not
we're not paying. We're not paying. Then they are on
the limited apps. This is we're being taking to dinner

and we we don't belong in this restaurant. Really, I mean,
I mean you belong. No, I don't. Mentally, let's say
we don't. I don't think we any of us belong,
but don't belong. But Scary at least knows the lingo
I pretend to belong. He's gonna have the right jack no,
no jacket, and it required I swear to go shopping
that fasaca jacket references given. It is a free dinner.

This is where Scary competes with Brody. Because Scary says,
knowing it's free, will go see the left side of
the menu and go one of everything. Okay, that's the difference.
When something is free, I might order a little a
little bit more expensive than I normally would like. I
would order the steak and said the chicken. Scary orders
four side dishes, three appetizes for the table. He does
that when we're paying. I don't. We went out to

dinner two weeks ago. You want one of these, one
of these, but just one of everything in that Yeah,
because he knows splitting checks, He's like, oh, if I
get nine appetizers, I get a little of everything, and
I'm really only paying for one. I really enjoy tastings
small amounts of a copious amounts of a small amount
of I like, I like the variety. I like. I
would rather pick one or one bite to this, one,

bye to that one, bye to that to get my meal.
The problem is I don't need vegetables, So five of
those seven things he orders, I don't, just so then
I'm like, I'm not chipping in. That is where the
ship off comes out and goes, who's the guy that's
sending this food back? And then Brodie's out on the
curve by the end of don't put scallions on my food.
That's it. Yeah, you can't make a scene tonight, damn it.
Someone actually tweeted us because Bertie was talking about how

he had something with they wiped off the they wiped
off the vegetables and he found one underneath. Oh oh,
so yeah, tell everybody this was on this just U.
Sometimes they put stuff on top of garnish that I say, hey,
no garnish. They garnished anyway, either with's cilancho or parsley
or green onion. So I was at a theme restaurant.
I'd ordered I don't know, chicken, sesame chicken or whatever

the appetizer was, and they they they garnished it with
green onion, and I said, hey, I ordered it with
a green on youion. I really don't want have to
pick a hundred of these things off. Can you just
make me another one? But before I called them over,
I stuck a green onion onto one of the pieces
of chicken, purpose so so I would know if they
made me a new one or not. And they came
back and go, hey, we made you a fresh one,
and I looked it was the same chicken with the
green onion under it. I said he did not, I

called fuck you, I caught you. Could you imagine that
tested them tonight. I'm an only child, but not much
of a life. Have you ever been asked to never
come back to a place? Yeah, my wife said my

house this morning every morning on my way out my dad.
I don't know if I've ever told this story, but
my dad has a thing about shoes that his shoes
have to fit perfectly. So when I was a kid,
we would go shopping for his work boots and would
be an all day affair. I mean, he would have
whoever's handling the shoe department, have fifteen twenty pairs of
shoes and varying different sizes. Remember we were in this

one store called l Press and Erie, Pennsylvania, and my
dad was there for three hours trying on shoes. Finally
the owner comes over and says, get out, just get
out and don't come back. He got kicked out of
his shoe store. And then so we go to the
Red Wings store down the street because my dad still
needed boots. It was another three hour affair. Finally, the
guy that was helping my dad trying the shoes goes.

Just take him home. If you like him, come back
and pay me for him shoes. Yeah, I just walked in.
Are you telling that boring story about how your dad
has two different sizes? So he tells this and he
left that part out. Yeah, his his right Okay, his
left foot is twelve, but his right foot is eleven
and a half. That's why he had kept kept going
back and trying on shoes. They got mad at him

that part. Yeah, you're waiting to find the uneven pair
of shoes. I walked in during during Alive, I don't know.
I'm trying to make it interesting. Am I in time
for the podcast to drop your line in? It only
has a minute left. This is the worst podcast, thank you. Alright, alright,
we were talking about first world problem. No, My my
dad was a buyer's remorse guy. He would buy. He

would spend three hours in electronic store, buy a VCR
back in the day, take it home, and then seeing
a magazine there was a better one, take that one
back and get the better one, and then realize he
liked the first one better and go back and exchange
it again for the one he had. Um. He would
he would go like through three televisions before he settled
on one. Yeah, they knew him, but they were not
happy with it. Sounds familiar. I don't know where I

get A father was a, uh, this is it, last
last cat, No no money back, You're paying cash. I
mean literally the guy on Canal Street kind of thing.
All sales are final. Guy like my father would, he'd
have to do all his research ahead of time. He
makes sure he knows exactly what he wanted, pay cash
and that's it. And and then by the way, he

because if we tried to return dealer, you know, if
we tried to if we tried to return it, the
next day, the place was closed. I mean it's gone
out of sale. Going. I only buy from places that
have liberal exchange policies. By the way, now is the
time to clean out your closets because the day the
week after Christmas, they will take back everything. Just I
got this as a gift. They go, that's three years old.

I got a three year old gift. Mean, while you
bought it. It It works. Every time, clean out your closets.
Don't get kicked out a dinner, dude, I'm bringing back
a VCR morning show

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