#378: Leave My Bone Alone!

#378: A woman's jealous Yorkie bites her husband's penis after sexl Brody got a mouthful of metal and the company accused Brody of planting it there; Skeery's interior designer insists he gets leather wrapped door handles and Skeery ain't havin' it;  The boys discuss the exciting NY KNICKS run and Skeery takes exception to fans who want them to wait to win it at home; World Cup is here and Skeery bought the wrong jersey; Brody has a different kind of steak dinner update

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boys, Start Up,
Brooklyn Boys, start up, dart up Up. They making noise,
dot up, start up, dot dot Up.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episode three seventy eight. This is the Brooklyn Boys Podcast.
I'm Scary Jones, I'm David Brody. How are you? Everybody?
Are you talking to actual people like they can answer this? No,
I'm saying it's like one of those like I'll bid
you know, I don't expect them to answer how they're doing.
Although if you use the talk back feature on iHeart

(00:36):
Radio you can tell us how you're doing. Isn't it
kind of crazy though? The way we say that, hey,
how you doing? Everybody? That's like an older radio ism
where they say, hey, yeah, how's everybody? That's right? Hey
has somebody doing tonight? But not that they could ever
answer back. No, But it shows that we care, even
though we don't care enough to Actually, you can use

(00:57):
in the Heart Radio app that's true feature. You can
get that, but we get the credit anyway. Yeah, speaking
of the talkback feature, a good number of people left
as talkbacks to let us know that. On episode three
seventy seven at the end, while I was ranting and
raving about Staples Scaries Live endorsement for his weight loss program. Yeah,

(01:21):
that one came on over the end of my rant,
so double negative that it's a commercial, but some commercials
are good. This one was good on but it was
over my important rant about my problem I had at Staple.
So a couple of things we learned. You didn't listen
to Slice Time. If you haven't listened to Slice Time,
check it out. It's the episode after this one where
everybody leaves feedback about their thoughts on this episode. There's

(01:43):
a lot of comedy and it's funny, but definitely more
people listening, especially those who find us in the Alveus
Strand podcast folder. Also, you can subscribe to the Brooklyn
Boys podcast and get notified never there's a new episode
of this episode and Slice Time because they're both considered Brooklyn.
Definitely follow follow us, like us and subscribe. Yeah, smash

(02:05):
that smash that like button, smash the like and make
us in your number one preset. That's important. iHeartRadio in
the iHeart Radio app and makeus your number one preset.
That would help us a lot. So people left us
talkbacks which take probably five or six days for us
to hear that there was a problem with the episode,
and we made fun of that. So if you didn't
hear that, the best way to get to us if

(02:27):
there's a problem is to d m us on Instagram. Yeah,
don't don't to talk back because we get it way
too late after you know, thousands and thousands of people
have heard that. We appreciate you telling us. Oh yeah,
but also like eleventeen times of people tell us that
is a problem. Anyway, Lots of updates. I've got a
metal in my food update and I've got a raw

(02:50):
steak dinner update, so that's come in this episode. Lots
of updates for you. You got to talk about the
biggest sporting event on the planet. What is It's scary
high lie. No, the world loves to watch the Knicks
come back from twenty nine points down. Exactly. Yeah, I'm
so tired. He's also soccer going on, but the Knicks.

(03:12):
Holy crap. Can we talk about the Knicks? Can we
talk about how tired I am because I've been watching
every game to completion and I have to get up
at four o'clock in the morning. This has been this
has been taking over my life, It really has. It's
been taken in the last three weeks or so, and
it's not stopping anytime soon. Now, Brody, will you watch

(03:32):
you Nicks? You watch from home a lot of the times, right,
or you go to a bar sometimes. No, I went
out with a friend. We went to a sports bar
for a couple of the games. But you know what,
my buddy, ye didn't thank me for the water bottle. Buddy.
That guy, the guy who invited a guy to come
watch the draft with us. That guy, that guy, and
I didn't know that, right. He set up in his

(03:54):
garage a projector screen and blew up the Knicks game
one hundred and forty four inches on the wall of
his garage. So we chilled in his garage watching a
twelve foot screen. Unbelievable, Yeah, especially when you have the
players on the screen that size. Now, the thing that

(04:15):
I'm hearing a lot of is people are wanting to,
oh something else. Now, the thing I'm hearing a lot
of is people wanting to the Knicks to win at home. Okay,
let me tell you how asinine that is.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Like.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
So, for instance, right now, as we as we do
this podcast, game four is done. The series is They're up.
The Knicks are up. Three to one, and they're taking
it back to the old school because I'm an old
fool who's so cool. No wait, sorry, womb there it is?
Uh that okay, that would be. Yeah, they're going they're
going back to San Antonio now right now, going back

(04:52):
to Cali. Here's how I'm where I take issue with that.
I don't think so slam the fucking door. People just
do it. Do it in San Antonio. Who cares if
you're not on the home msg court to celebrate? Why
why delay? Why delay? If you go for the win,
go for the wind. Shut them to a damn door.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
No.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
The problem is these fucking Spurs, man, they know how
to come back the Calves. We look at what how
how did that work for the Calves up three games
to one? Are you talking about in past? In previous years,
there's been collapses at three games to one, three game yes,
no one's ever lost the first two at home and
come back right now, coming back? Don't jinx it like

(05:35):
like so, So, what I'm saying is forever for ninety
nine point nine of the people watching, they're watching from
screens from wherever they are, So it doesn't matter where
the Knicks win. Just win. Don't wait, they'll be like
I wish you, I wish they would lose one in

(05:55):
San Antonio so they could come back and win in
Nixon six at home. No, why why hope for that?
Why hope for a loss? All right? Well, here's what
I'll say. It's true, there's only nineteen thousand, mostly really
rich or famous people are both at the game, and
if they went on the road or at home, it's

(06:15):
anyone but those. I'll finish anyone but those nineteen thousand, right,
are gonna have the same experience, exactly. It's not like
the team comes out of the side of Madison Square
Garden and parties with the fans in the streets. Right,
So it's the same, the same shit. However, it looks
better for all time to listen when you watch the

(06:36):
game right now, when you watch last night, wasn't part
of the excitement the fans going crazy?

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Do you?

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Ferens and like Nick? Yes, right to watch them win. Yes,
you want to shut up the fans in San Antonio,
But that's not as much fun as our fans, fellow
Knicks fans cheering and chanting and screaming and going crazy.
I know what the fun last night, right which watching
the post game and nobody left. And by the way,
this is not a sports podcast. And I would like
to point out that our official colors have changed. The

(07:04):
official podcast colors have changed from the New York Mets
to the New York Bicks. Yeah, we changed the logo.
Check it out. It's now blue and orange instead of
blue instead of blue and orange. No, And I noticed
that it was it was a half hour past the game.
They were doing post show interviews and the arena was
still three quarters full. There's nothing, there's nothing like that

(07:25):
kind of jubilation. But I can't stand some of these
fans who are die hard their whole life. They haven't
seen anything. Remember in nineteen ninety nine when the Knicks
were in it and and hope for like, no, no,
it's okay if they lose. No, no, no, no. You
can't give this team loves but nobody wants. You can't

(07:47):
give the San Antonio Spurs an inch, no fucking way,
you take them four and anymore inches. Take it now,
take the win now, please, I don't want to hear it.
All right, moving on from basketball, as as anyone on
this podcast watching the World Cup, well, I was paid
to watch the World Cup. No, No, I had an appearance.

(08:08):
I did a I did a viewing party. But I
don't know the first thing about soccer. I mean, I know,
I know how to play the first thing, unless you're
the goalie. No, I mean I don't know. I don't.
I'm not following the teams. I'm not following the day
by day. I'm not following who's favorite or not. So
the other day I said, oh, well, I have a

(08:29):
couple of these, well you know, viewing parties coming up.
I really should dress the part right. So I run
over to Macy's where they had a huge display of
of jerseys, and I'm like, look at this Italy. They
have an overstock on Italy. This is great. So I bought.
I know, so I was, so I bought wait for it,

(08:52):
wait for it, So I buy. I bought an Italy jersey.
I'm Italian, I'm Italian, American, fucking Italy is gonna be
my team. Screw it, I'm in. So I bought an
Italy jersey, and lo and behold, I've come to find
out that Italy failed to make the World Cup. They're
not in it. Third time in a row, three times

(09:12):
in a row. Yeah, so that is, there's that, but
I could you know, I'm not gonna buy a Mexico jersey.
I'm not gonna buy a Columbia jersey. I'm Italian, So
why don't you buy a jersey of a country you
go to a lot like Costa Rica they in I
don't know. I don't think so, you know. And now

(09:34):
the people are like, well, if you're neutral, you should
just be like, screw it, buy a Team USA jersey.
Well that you should, yeah, but I don't know the
foggy America about them. I don't know. I'm not even
for whatever reason, Brody, I just think that even though
it's a even though this is a big, you know,

(09:58):
international stage for World Cup blah blah blah, we're here
hosting it for the first time met Life Stadium, I
still think the Knicks are the bigger story. And more
people care about the Knicks than World Cup. Not nationally,
don't forget, I'm talking about regionally here in the Tri
State area. More people care about the Knicks ten times over,

(10:25):
and they give a rats ass about World Cup. Otherwise,
why isn't soccer as popular as it is in other countries?
And I know, you don't hit the talk backs and
be like, well that's not true. My son, my daughter,
they play and blah blah blah. The end of the day,
we don't have a professional soccer league here in America

(10:46):
that outshines football, basketball, baseball, or hockey. It doesn't. It doesn't,
but some people it's their favorite. Listen, you know what,
It's only gonna happen if these two countries in their
brackets finish in second place in their divisions, in their
in their tier. Okay, they're not scheduled to play, but

(11:09):
if these two teams both finished second, they would both
advance and they would play each other. Ready, yeah, the
United States, and I ran, is that right? Yes, there's
a chance they could play each other. And I think
with what's going on, it would make it a very
interesting match that I know, right, Because does life imitate art?

(11:32):
Does arn't imitate life? Does sports imitate? I don't. I
don't think they're gonna use. I just would think it
would be uncomfortable and awkward. It would be weird. But
before countries at war have have played in the Olympics.
I just went to look up because I'm looking at
all the teams that are playing and they're not in
the same bracket at the moment, but it could happen.

(11:52):
That's assuming the team can finish second in their grouping. Anyway,
I know a lot of people are excited about it,
so I think it's great. I'm glad that up three countries,
the three the main three countries on this continent are
all hosting Mexico and the United States and Canada. Yeah,
you know, but right now, it's until the Knick series

(12:12):
is done. It's all I can think about, exactly. I'm
not thinking about anything else. I did pull out my
next jersey from the early two thousands with my name
about that I had about that. I had an old
Knicks jersey from like the nineties. It don't fit. It's
not even close. Well, it's too tight because mine's huge huge.

(12:33):
I got it from the station when we were working
on the radio station, and they said, I think the
Knicks were in the whatever year it was late two thousands,
they were in the in the playoffs and they got
his jerseys and I ordered one my name because I
really wanted it, but they got me a size too big,
so I can't wear it. But I feel like I
could post a picture of it because it says my

(12:54):
name on it, but I can't wear it. So if
you have my last name and you want to buy it,
they have to put it on eBay. Get in touch,
Get in touch, Touch, Get in touch. All right. I
wanted to give an update. A few weeks ago. I
posted a picture of a piece of metal that was

(13:16):
in my UH trail mix that I bought at Costco.
And I love it. I bought like fifteen bags of
it over the last year or so, one of my
favorite trail. It's terrific cashews and cranberries and blueberries and
yogurt chips, and I don't a whole bunch of stuff.
I love it. I love it so much. All grab

(13:38):
a fist of it. Thank you. I love it. I
didn't crash my car into a pole or bridge whatever.
They crashed air carnto a bridge. My car into a bridge. Yeah,
so I grab again, just a reminder in case you
do don't listen. In order you didn't listen to this episode.
I grabbed a handful, a fistful of the food, the
trail mix, and I shoved it in my mouth because I

(13:59):
was running out of the house and because I had
big hands. I had a big amount of food in
my hand. In the middle of that handful was a
V shaped bendable piece of metal shaped like a V,
like a like a paper clip. Remover right and uh
a little tips in And I posted it on my
Instagram story and I called the company and I told

(14:23):
them there was a piece of metal in my trail mix.
I said, oh, you know, mister Brody, We're terribly sorry.
We go through rigorous metal detectors and all kinds. We
don't know how that could happen. But send it to us.
Will identify what machinery had came off of, you know,
and we'll we'll take We'll make this right by you.
Sent it in weeks, go buy. I don't hear anything.

(14:44):
I called three or four times, like what We're still investigating,
but we're going to send you. Uh, we're gonna send
you a gift card. Oh great. What they sent me
scary was a check for the six dollars I paid
for the thing for the food, which I could have
gotten at Costco. Just gone back and said, hey, this
piece of a man to live up to their end

(15:06):
of the bargain. So I called back and I Dave
wroteed them. Of course you did, said, I said, whoa,
whoa way, where's my free dessert? I I you know,
I was in a lot of pain. Legitimately, I bit
down in this metal and this is in your So
I got a letter on very high grade paper. You
hear how heavy that that thick that is? It's almost
like cardboard. Yeah? Yeah. And you see the letterhead I'm

(15:28):
showing you on the camera. Yep, I see the letter head. Yep,
I see it. Okay, so I'm like, oh, here we
go Ben's letterhead. Dear David, thank you for taking the
time to call us regarding our coastal Bury Trail Mix.
I'm gonna go ahead and say the name Coastal Bread
Trump Mix. We're disappointed to hear you had an unpleasant
experience with our product and are anxious to respond to

(15:50):
your concern. Okay, that's that's amazing. So in the front
the way, the fact that this is typed on letterhead
and it's very fancy, and they they all nailed you.
That means they take a lot of great time and care.
So it sounds to me like you got a big
reward coming. We are disappointed to hear you had an

(16:10):
an unpleasant experience with our products. So they are acknowledging
I had an unpleasant experience. And then she writes again,
I understand how finding something unfamiliar in a product you
trust is discouraging. I want you to know that we
take this matter seriously. Scary. Here it comms, baby, here comes,
it's that free dessert. Baby, Let's go, let's go, let's

(16:31):
go time. Our quality assurance team reviewed the sample you
provided that, I mean, the whole team. This is amazingating.
This metal in my amazing I love this for you, Brody. Yes,
And they are unable to determine its source and it
doesn't match anything used within our facility. Oh so okay,
but they're implying somehow at this point they are They

(16:54):
know that I'm unhappy. I had unpleasant experience. Their crack
team knows how upset I am. They take it seriously.
Now theyre going to figure out where this metal came from. Right, Sure,
our manufacturing facilities have policies and procedures in place to
ensure the quality of our products. Well, that's good to know.
All of our mixes passed through a metal detector before

(17:14):
they are packaged to ensure this type of material doesn't
get into a product. They're going on the defensive. If
metal is detected in a product, it's automatically removed from
the production and reviewed by who the quality assurance team.
I would like to remind you the quality assurance team
that is investigating is also the team that is in

(17:36):
charge of removing the metal from the assembly line. So
the people investigating are the ones that would be found
guilty if they found anything. I feel like the tide
is changing. I don't know. I'm not so confident anymore
about this. The FBI is investigating to see what the
FBI did wrong, and the FBI will get back to
us on that. So the information you've provided helps us

(18:00):
to further improve these processes. The information is scary. I
sent them the piece of metal. Okay. The information you
provided helps us to further improve these processes, and I
thank you for bringing us to our attention. Sure, Okay,
now the next paragraph should be what they're gonna do
about it? Right? Okay, here's what they're gonna do about it.
If we can be a further assistance, please contact contact

(18:22):
us toll free at blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah that was the resolution email. What the hell are
they trying to postpone that and tell you got to
call a number for it. If we can be a
further I already call the number cracked team, your cracked
quality insurance team. I need to be as short of
quality you had for Listen. First of all, not all

(18:47):
metal is detected by a metal detector. Second of all,
sometimes metal gets your metal detectors at games and airports.
Are you telling me it's a fool proof? It's not, bro,
they're defending themselves. It sounds to me like the they're
accusing you of the coming short of accusing you of
being a liar. Yeah. So first they say, we're disappointed
you did you had an unpleasant experience, not that I

(19:10):
claimed that on it. They acknowledged, They acknowledged there was
an unpleasant experience there. But apparently I put the metal
in myself. Sure you did, according to them, because they're
coming short of just saying that that, they're saying everything.
They're beating around the bush. Everything went up to the
point of that you actually did it and pointing the

(19:32):
accusatory finger. So explain to me, if your crackstaff of
quality assurance, are you telling me that sometimes there's not
two pieces of metal and the alarm goes off and
they go, oh, there it is, and they grab one
of the pieces of metal, but not the other one
because they think they got the one that set the
alarm off. They're telling me that no metal has ever
and we don't recognize it. We've never seen this medal before. Okay, well,

(19:53):
maybe someone dropped it out of their shirt pocket on
the assembly line. Could have happened, but I certainly didn't
stick it in in the bag and shove it my
mouth and hurt the top of my mouth when I
bit the metal. Yeah, they're not saying that they they're
not saying that they agree with that statement. They they
may they may come out and now say, look, we
have proof that you've been nefarious with the product. Explain

(20:19):
this to me. They told me on the phone. Oh,
we'll we'll investigate and figure out where this metal came from.
Why would I put a random piece of metal in
an envelope and mail to them and go oh this
was in there? Well, where are you going? Okay, So
so no, I want it was maybe like a fifty
dollars gift card. So at the end of the email.
They just give you nothing. They give you your phone numbers,

(20:39):
said you have you any other questions, you can call us.
I already called you. I already told you I wanted
a gift card. So now what I got? Who gots?
What's the next? The next step? The next is I
got to call them back and I'm going to tell
them that I am unhappy. And then maybe the Slices
would like to call and tell Katie from Consumer, the
consumer relations manager, how upset they are. Well, I like that.

(21:01):
I mean, I'm not up to that. I'm not up
I'm not up to that. Yet You're gonna sick the
Slices on them? I think I think Reggie and Trucker
and and and uh and deb Des would certainly. I
think a lot of our what an army an army
we have here, I'll stick I'll stick Liam from Ohio
to call and tell them that they're sittanic? How about that?
So what are you gonna do about this? dB? I'll

(21:23):
get I'll get I'll get Rock and Steve over there
to call up and give him a piece of his mind.
So I'm gonna call him up and I'm gonna report
back on what they say. The next time I call.
But again the crack staff over Quality Assurance are the
ones that check for the metal, but also the ones
to assure me there's no such there is no metal. Thanks.
Quality Assurance team appreciate you. So it sounds to me

(21:44):
like you're shit out of luck. Uh well, we'll see
what I call when I call again. Since they told me,
if oh you have any I mean right here, if
we can be a further assistance. Oh yes you can.
You can be a further assistance. You can send me.
You can send me something for my pain and suffering
when I build on the metal thing. That's all about
asking for a lot. Lifted our gift card. I mean

(22:04):
food cost for them is like ten percent, So you're
really giving me five bucks? Am I wrong? Slices? Leave
us a talk back? Yeah, please do please do all right?
All right.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Then boys podcast, we will be right back.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
So I decided to order some pasta from Amazon. It's
a special pastah, of course, the special organic handmade by
Italian window. This is dry pasta, dry pasta from Italy.
Is it gorilla? It's not, but it's remo available in

(22:40):
most stores, by the way, but I wanted to buy it.
You had to get it from Amazon. So you get
Italian pasta from Seattle or wherever the rumo is uh
is Italian. It's from Sicily, I believe. But anyway, they
make the World Cup. I'm not sure if you know that.
Did you know that it'll make the World Cup? Is
shut up? Dick Vinnie from Brooklyn? Did you know that?
You know? So I decided to buy. I went, I

(23:03):
went on Amazon, clicked the button. I'm like, oh, next
day service, it'll be here. So this was yesterday, and
I'm like, I'm on Amazon Prime and it said it'll
be delivered today. Well about an hour before this podcast,
I opened up the app and it said it still was.
In the first part.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
You know that the.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
Timeline with with the blue Dart shipped. It hasn't even
gotten this shipped yet. And and then meanwhile, how many
hours and only a few hours left in the day.
And they promised me it was going to be here today.
And I'm an Amazon Prime member, so I don't know
what I'm paying for anymore. So I called them up

(23:45):
insurance team, I sure did at Amazon Quality Assurance Team,
and the guy said, well, as it turns out, yeah,
that you know it's I could see it right here.
You're getting this this today. And I said, sir, please,
I said, let's let's think logically about this. Yesterday it

(24:09):
said it was it was coming today. When Amazon, when
you order stuff from Amazon, usually you see emails right away.
There's activity going on. It's shipped, it's leaving from the
facility in the warehouse, and usually you get all this shit.
I said, And and some of it happens like right
when you first ordered the product, like it's automatic. Oh boom,

(24:31):
it's already happening processing order for the people. Yeah. Well,
I said, I got no such email from Amazon. It
said it's arriving today. There's only a few hours left
in today. So what's the deal. And he said to me,
I couldn't tell you that. I don't have answers to

(24:52):
those questions, but I could tell you it's coming today
because I'm seeing that status. So he said, sir, you
just take take that out of it for a second
level with me here, like where where is this? Like well,
and he's like, oh, it's uh, you know, from from
the way I see it, it's it's on it's on

(25:12):
its way, It's on its way. He kept going talking
in circles. So he said where, okay, forget about where
it's manufactured. Where is the warehouse? Right, Where's it's coming from?
And he's looking it up and he goes looks like
it's coming from Silver Springs, Canada or some spring valley, Canada.

(25:33):
And I'm like, wait what he is? Yes, and it'll
be here Italian pasta, it'll be here today. And I said, sir, okay,
let's stop with the script. Talk to me like a human. Yeah,
the process, process this the way I'm processing this. I

(25:54):
ordered this yesterday. I ordered this yesterday. It said it's
arriving today. It's seven o'clock at night, there's five hours
left in today. And now you're adding this fun fact
that this ship is shipping from Canada. And I haven't
even gotten to shipping status yet. Are you confident that
this is gonna arrive today? If it doesn't arrive today,

(26:17):
we're to give you a call us in three days
and let us know and we'll refund your money immediately.
That's what he said. He was like, yeah, yes, it's
coming today, I said from Canada. I said you, so
it's going over this. I'm going over geography as a
guy like, and I'm explaining to him, there's no fucking way.
Just admit to me, I'm not getting this product today.

(26:39):
Guess what, brody? He refused. He refused to say those
words because on his screen it said what my screen
says arriving today. And I said, well, look at your progress.
Look at the progress marker, motherfucker. But you have a
tracking number on it, don't you. You can track? Yeah, I
tracked it and it just says ordered. It doesn't say
anything more than order and shipped, you know, not even

(27:01):
shad to break it to the scary. You know, your
your Italian pasta did not qualify for the ship. He
didn't like the Italian team. Just like the Italian team, right, yeah,
some of a bitch. You know. I love Amazon, and
you can get them to call you through the app.
You can request a phone call and they call you
back within two minutes. Here's the problem. I have Verizon,

(27:23):
and some of the numbers that they call from are different,
like they're all two or six area code. But because
it's a company, they often show up as spam and
my Verizon auto blocks them. So if I put the
number into my address book, when they call back, it's
a different number, so I sometimes. So, here's Amazon calling me.

(27:44):
I'd like you to I'd like everyone to meet. Uh,
here meet Ed. Ed called me.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
Here we go sing Amazon. My name is Ed. Can
you have your name?

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Please? What ell is going on? He went to voicemail.
He doesn't know that.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
About other line?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
All right, but this is really.

Speaker 4 (28:06):
If you can hear me? Can you please check if
you're not muted?

Speaker 2 (28:09):
Please? I might be muted.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
Wait, I'm very sorry, but I don't hear you right now.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
He's talking to my voice. I've got to say, he's
talking to himself. He's filling the void here.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
Can you hear me?

Speaker 3 (28:26):
What I have?

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Answer?

Speaker 4 (28:27):
Can you please check if you're not muted?

Speaker 2 (28:30):
You mean check if I am muted? He got that backwards.

Speaker 4 (28:33):
Well, I'm very sorry, but I don't hear anybody on
the other line.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
And you're pastor arriving today in the call since we're
having a technical issue. And so he missed the whole
part where I say, so what happens is the computer
calls and by the time he picks up, he missed
the voicemail part, right, So he just thinks I'm on
the phone. He's like, if you're not muted, but you
check to make sure you're not muted, yeah you know,
or or that you are muted or whatever. So yeah,

(28:59):
thanks Ed. So it took me like an hour of
trying to like catch the call before it went to spam. Right,
So that's fan in the front. So so am I am?
I not getting bobmatic for the people as are I'm
not getting your pasta, not getting my pasta tomorrow, not
getting it, break it to it's it's it's not coming tomorrow. No,
But you know what, you know what's weird about Amazon?
I ordered I ordered something on Amazon, and after after

(29:22):
one day, it said your shipment is delayed and will
not be arriving on Thursday as planned. So I ordered
another one and it said arriving Wednesday. So I got
the new one I ordered a day before. The one
that was supposed to come Thursday got delayed, so then
I canceled that one. So sometimes when they delay it,
just order another one. You should just order another pasta.

(29:44):
You'll probably get that one faster than the first one.
And if you get two of them, you can just
return it. Not that you would go to a store
and return it. You probably just keep hold of them.
I'm just my mind, my I don't I don't understand
how to how to get through to these people. Like
I'm like, I want to speak to a supervisor, and
I really want you to get unto the it here
and let me know what the fuck is going on
and why is my ship not coming? But well, you

(30:05):
know what, you would have the same luck if you
called the Krusty's Company and talk to their quality assurance team.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Really, give you the number, scary what's that number? Yeah,
you have as much luck talking to them about your
package from Amazon then calling Amazon. Okay, I love it. Uh.
By the way, the stupidest oh oh, this is a
little something throw away here. Uh, the stupidest thing that
happened all week? Uh do you know what was going

(30:32):
on David Brody on June seventh at Uh, oh, you're
not going to steal my story, are you? June seventh
at six oh seven pm in Washington Square Park. It
was June sixth, wasn't it at seven at seven o'clock? No,
it was June seventh, sixth seventh. It was June seventh.
It was sixth seventh, right, yes, sixth told you this.

(30:55):
There was a six seven meet up. Yeah, thousands of
people were was it the people shut up in Washington
Square Park for the sixth seven on June seventh, and
at six oh seven pm, Yeah, they all started going
six seven for a whole minute and a hand thing.
All of these people must have run out of work

(31:18):
at five o'clock, run out of school, hung around so
they could all do six to seven and then like, okay,
walk away and then tell their friends. You know, think
about it. Someday you'll tell your grandkids. I remember back
in nineteen twenty twenty six, we all went to the
park and we did six seven sixth seven. Okay, grandpa,

(31:38):
that sounds really cool. I mean, is that I don't
want to be I don't want to sound like it
off my long guy, But no, you have a permission
on this one, because yeah, I'm scratching my head along
with you. I mean, look this, first of all, the
six seventh thing is mostly over, and you know it's
bad because everyone at pick a Ball has been doing

(31:59):
it for months now. Oh that means my age. Now
it's really jumped to shark, right. So like if you're
losing six to seven, you go six seven, and everybody
goes six seven And what's funny is there are still
some people that don't get it. So if you're in
the know like we are, it's like I get it.
But then as people go, are you what are you doing?
You don't know it? Yeah, she's seventy, like you whatever?

(32:22):
Like not already we get it, you know, but enough already?
Like there was one intro one of the basketball players
are like that god at six seven and they see
people in the crowd doing it seven. But I mean,
do you not have do you not have anything better
to do with your day than to congregate in a

(32:42):
park with others? Wouldn't have done it at six oh seven.
I would have done it at six fifty nine and
kept doing it until it was seven. Then you would
have done it at six and seven. But where's the afters?
The first the six to seven party? Like, where's the
after party? And what do you do over at crazy eights?
You just go what you do? What do you doing?
You made you? You made this long journey into the park.

(33:06):
I mean, do you go up to a girl like, hey,
you're you're very pretty the way you did six seven?
I gotta say, wow. I mean I guess they all
has they all have that in common. I'm gonna use
the R word. No, I'm not gonna do it. I'll reframe.
But that's what they are, all of them. No, no
one girl. Did you see the Asian girl on the
right who looked at the camera like with the biggest

(33:27):
smile on her face, like, oh my god, I'm doing this?
Come on, man, We're giving one life and and time
is of the essence. We're given one. We were given
a specific limited time. Here. I can see you running
over to every single person at the park. What are
you doing? What are you doing? We're doing listen. I'm
all up for a cool and corny ass trend. I'm cool,

(33:49):
I'm up for all of it. I don't care. Didn't
we do one? Didn't we do it? What was that song?
When the song played, you freaked out? That was the
video and we all we all did it at work
on the morning show. Oh I gotta check it out.
I don't know. It was like some Asian song and
it was like hurricane and everybody like freaked out and
climbed the walls. Yes, we did that. We did all
that shit. We did all of that we back in

(34:11):
the day. But then we did it like it's a
bit for a video like, oh, we did all the
trends on the morning show, but I don't. But thousands
of people going to a park to do six to
seven and leave, Well, that's exactly it. What are you doing?
Don't you have anything better to do? It's and by
the way, this was a blue ribbon Saturday afternoon, gorgeous, gorgeous,
the weather better like style. Why would you want to
spend time doing that? All right, enough of my opinion, Okay,

(34:33):
so slices. Here's what I want to do. If you
have a strong opinion, if you have something funny to say,
like how stupid it was, or if you legitimately would
have wanted to be part of it, explain to us
why that's all? I like that? All right? Scare I
have to ask you a question because I was shopping
in a in a in a well known supermarket in
our area. I'm not gonna say which one it is,

(34:53):
and I saw I wanted to buy a vowel pre prepared, yes,
pre prepared, thank you, Vanna. And I saw it was
a Florentine no French aise a filet of fish French
and lemon and bread crumbs. It look really good, and
I'm like, oh, I wonder if that's a flounder or cod.

(35:14):
I wonder what that is? Scary. It was called swayfish.
Have you ever heard of swayfish? Swai No, never heard
of it before ever? Okay, So I was like, oh,
I wonder what swayfish is. So I was like, oh,
what is swayfish? I googled it, figuring it'll be like, oh,
so apparently it's a light, flaky fish substituted sometimes for

(35:37):
flounder or cod whatever, and it says, uh uh, it's
important from Vietnam. And I said, oh, that's interesting. They
seems like that'd be expensive to import fish from Vietnam,
but apparently it's so inexpensive that it's cheaper to fly
it in from Vietnam. Now, when you think of seafood,
the place you think of is Vietnam. Oh, without a doubt,

(36:01):
without question, right comes to you know, where's the bronze?

Speaker 3 (36:04):
You know?

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Now, look, Vietnam is a peninsula. It's surrounded by water.
But I don't normally I think of like, you know,
the the rice and you know Asian food. I eat seafood,
but I don't think of it. So I'm like ou
Asian fish who we got a lot of fish from Asia.
It gets fine. So I kept reading and it says

(36:26):
it's considered a higher risk food by health organizations. Critics
point to lax farming regulations and polluted river conditions in
the Maykon Delta, which have historically led to concerns over
bacterial contamination and the use of unapproved antibiotics. When purchasing Sway,
look for third party certifications like best something. I cut

(36:48):
it off. I didn't screenshot all thing. Look for certifications
that it's that's it's official. So I looked for certification
on the swayfish, and I said, ah, I will not
be by that fish. It's sway too dangerous. Sway so
hiol it's sway too dangerous. So have you ever had swayfish? No?
S wai. And if there's a high risk of it,

(37:10):
A lot of times see now see a lot of
times they'll make they'll rename a fish to sell more
of it, Like for instance, right with Chilean sea bass.
I mean that's nice and sexy. People are like, ooh,
Chilean sea bas. I'm gonna have that. Anytime you've seen
it on the menu, and and rightfully so they command
like a lot more money for that right for that cut.

(37:32):
But for whatever reason, the if you are, if you
were in the seventies or nineteen eighties ordering that same meal,
you'd be ordering the Patagonian toothfish, because the Patagonian toothfish
is Chilean sea bass. Now, I feel like for years,

(37:57):
for years, because it's an ugly fucking fish fish. But
so now people like so they like, someone said, this
is a marketing ploy, Patagonian toothfish. We have this, we
have so much of it, and it's a good fish.
Let's let's sell it, let's serve it. But we can't

(38:18):
call it that. So they called it. They renamed it
Chilean sea bass. And that sound that rolls off the tongue,
that sounds exotic, it makes it more appetizing. So from
that point forward it was known as Chilean sea bass,
never again to be called the Patagonian toothfish. Yeah. So
a swayfish is also called bossafish, mild whitefish, often sold

(38:40):
as boneless. It's popular for its affordability, that's never a
good sign, sometimes it is and versatility. Originating from Vietnam,
now farm globally. Let me scroll down where it says, oh,
while generally safe, scary, generally safe. You love your food
generally safe, don't you?

Speaker 3 (38:56):
No?

Speaker 2 (38:57):
I want it absolutely safe. I need rock I know. No, no, no, no, no,
this is bullshit. One got to where that come from.
Some concerns exist regarding farming practices and potential contaminants, And
if you keep reading, it says safety concerns often raised
in ponds or cages, sometimes with concerns about water quality
and feed. I did not buy it. I did not

(39:20):
buy the sway Fish. I swayed myself right away from Yeah,
it's not being healthy or sacred anymore. I mean you
you hear your whole life? Eat more fish? Good for you?
Know who needs to you know who needs to get
in charge of the Swayfish? Who's at the uh the
uh Krusty's Companies quality assurance team. They need to get
right on that. Jump my god, we'll be right back

(39:46):
and Brodie, I have an update for you. Oh, I
have an update. Good, I need I need my jingle.
I told you yep, okay, you know how this project
we call scaries new house or apartment, how how it's
an ongoing thing. And it's never ending. That's correct, never
anything stories. And you know I told you about my

(40:09):
over zealous, ambitious interior designed person way put on the
project to help me out and decorate and have an
eye for fashion and and furniture. And you hired somebody
to put up your lorena Lorena. Yeah. Yeah, Well I
think we've gone too far. I think this is this

(40:29):
here comes to jump the shark moment. No door handles,
but hear me out, follow me for a second. Punch,
punch and slap man. No, no punching, judy, no bustering punch. No,
she said to me. And I thought she was fucking around,
but it turns out she was not. She's like, oh,

(40:49):
these door handles, they gotta go. I'm like, all right,
great silver, these are silver. Give me a nice upgraded
silver door handles. And you know, maybe maybe let me
let me check the price questions looking at your door handles, Well,
I mean it's very it's giving closet. It's not giving.
Did you just say it's giving closet? Yeah, you're banned
for ten seconds. You wouldn't talking. What are you talking about? No,

(41:12):
you can't.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
No.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Ten seconds is sitting in a penalty box. You said
it's giving. No, you don't use the word vibes at
the end, you banned eight nine. Okay, we're back ahead.
It's and I said that because you want something to
feel when you put your hands on something. If people
are coming into my space and they're putting their hands

(41:35):
on something, it should feel lucks, it should feel it
should feel like you know, expensive, it's handle to a closet.
First of all, it's your apartment. Why are they opening
the closet in your guest bedrooms? Well no, but oh no,
But every single every single door in my in my
apartment has this the same door handles, and they're kind

(41:56):
of like, nah, maybe I want a little bit of
an upgrade. But but but years but Brody, why didn't
invite me over? Why did you invite me over your
apartment before that new handles were put in? Now I
feel cheated. I used regular every day. The brainwashed me,
and she's got me convinced now that I need to
upgrade all the handles in my apartment. But it gets worse.
There's a plot twist coming, you know what. She wants

(42:17):
to replace it with bluster and punch handles, leather door handles.
I was like, what the fuck even is leather door handles?
Did you just put an even in the middle of
a sentence? For yes, she said to me leather door handles.
She should give you five second time, she said to me, oh, yeah,

(42:39):
leather door handles. It's it's to the touch, it it's
it's it's it's hard. It's it's leather wrapped in a
harder substance. So basically they probably took the hasn't been
there on a weekend, probably take these two bits silver
fucking handles and wrap it in leather and it's this
hard leather.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
I see them for on Etsy for one hundred and
seventy one dollars a handle. How many handles do you have?
Scary dude, You're not even want a lot, dude. That's
like four thousand dollars exactly. And I said, Paul, why
on earth? I said Lorena, I said, why on earth
would a man need leather handles in you already have

(43:21):
love handles. This is called the Geneva single dummy. That's
perfect for you.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
You know.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
I got oh, oh Lazara appliance a leather handles three
ninety nine a handle. Oh Okay, so about you. My
question is my question is to people even have leather
wrapped handles in their house. I don't even think I could.
I don't think i've my hands have ever touched a
leather wrapped door handle. I don't want you handles. Is

(43:54):
she getting you handles from Low and Co? Did she?
That's one of the places she wants to go. I
knew it. I just found expensive handles. I'm like, this
has got to be one of them. There's nothing and
I don't think there's anything low. There's nothing about Low
in their name, nothing except by name. There's nothing low
about this slices. Truthfully, I had no idea who you.
I just looked up and I wrote expensive leather door handles,

(44:18):
and I got Low and Co. It's almost like she does.
I said, oh, I said Lorena. I said, I love you, Lorena.
You're awesome. You've been doing a kick ass job. You've
been guiding me in the right direction. But for God's sakes,
I don't need leather door handles. Leather wrapped door and co.

(44:38):
That is the tempo. So slices, have you ever experienced
have you ever been in the companies? They didn't have
you been in the presence of fucking leather door handles.
Have you ever touched a leather door handle? So I said,
that costs two hundred and forty nine dollars a handle,
and then she goes. Then she explains to me the
importance of making sure that everything that is touched the apartment.

(45:01):
You're touched. He's touched in the head, they'll be touched.
But yeah, yeah, Brodie now is covering his whole face
with his hands. I love by the way, Slices. I
love the way Scary said. She's trying to brainwash me.
Here's what she did. She took her pocket watch and
she put it back in her pocket and she said, Scary,

(45:23):
you need these. That's how she brainwashed him. And he's
you know, she said these are one of a kind.
Post Malone has these in his house. See if you
would have said that, it would have created intrigue. I
might have wanted it. But I gotta say, Slices, I
draw the line at leathern bound door handles. You know,
three out of five people who sit courtside in the

(45:44):
next game have leather door handles. That I believe we're
not in this house. There's no way it's still her
sit in court side he's got leather door handles, sitting
next to Taylor Swift with her leather door handles. In fact,
she's got a song on her new album called leather
door Handles. That's what she calls Travis her leather door handles.

Speaker 4 (46:03):
Uh oh and co.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Anyway, I know it. I rest my case on that
you can continue picking up from here, bro, because because
I'm still disgusted even saying it, but I want to
share these experiences with you and the slices because it's
so the other company, it's so preposterous. If you also
tell you about My Knobs that sounds like a porn site.
Myknobs dot com, privacy disc growsette in French antique brass.

(46:33):
By the way, My knob sounds like a competitor to
only fans, that's right. Yeah, oh oh, this one looks expensive.
This is a company called Lazara that sounds like a
company she'd recommend to you. Lazara Appliance pulls as she
tried to get you to change the handles and all
your appliances.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
No.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Twenty four inch Lazara Appliance in brown leather three nine
available in Champagne, bronze brush, gold, olden champagne, matt black,
polished chrome, polished nickel, and satin nickel. All the expensive
shines three ninety nine ninety nine for handles for your

(47:11):
your refrigerated doors or your your pull out cabinet doors. Oh, scary,
you gotta get these for your kitchen cabinets. Oh you
don't want to come to your house and not have
leather handles on your on your on the drawer, on
the drawer you have all your broken screwdrivers and pliers,
and you broken flashlight, that junk drawer, you gotta have
leather handles on that. With the dead batteries in the
drawer and your fly traps. I want all of that

(47:34):
and your broken tape measure. I want leather handles on their.
Scary you talk to Lorraina and you get leather handles
on all your drawers. Done, Now I'll come visit. Okay,
sounds good? All right, Well I rest my case on this.
Your case is just your ridiculous Well, every week it's
something new, and I'm like, well, it's easy to say

(47:56):
when you're you're not spending your own money that this
is my money. You're spending. Yeah, but you're spending it.
You have no problem. All right, we'll move on. Uh,
do you have my jingle ready? A couple of weeks ago,
last episode and two episodes ago, I told you about
going to a restaurant and they gave me a raw
steak dinner two weekends in a row, and the manager
gave me nothing. Those were like and I didn't say anything,

(48:19):
and the slices were like, are you feeling okay, you're sick?
You're right, and so a bunch of you said I
should do something about it. So play the jingle. Scary,
that's right, Brody's raw steak dinner update. Didn't have didn't
have the wait studio or the singers to update the jingle. Okay,

(48:40):
So I have a raw steak dinner update. Okay. I
emailed the corporate office, as suggested by the many slices.
Even though I felt pretty good about the new the
nude leaf, I turned over by not asking for free dessert,
and I just let them know. I said, hey, listen,
love I love the place. I've been there a couple
of times. I think it's a good establishment. But I

(49:04):
was a little disappointed. Told the what happened where I
got two raw stakes sandwiches and the manager's like, here
you go. Didn't say anything, didn't offer me anything, didn't
write nothing. They called me apologized, We're terribly sorry. Ah,
what's your email addressed? Love Good customer service sent me
a fifty dollars gift card. There you go. Thank you
very much to those lovely people at the restaurant. That

(49:28):
shall remain nameless because I want to have some better
things to say. But at the food's terrific and a
couple of mistakes were made, but they did right by me.
So I'll have to spend that gift card in the
near future when I go back, maybe in a few weeks. Yeah,
how about that? How about that? How about that? Yeah?

(49:49):
Right now, I'm going to my usual places where they
have TV sets and you know, sports bars. So if
I watch, you know, the Nicks and All and the Mets, boy,
they won one game in a row, very exciting. And
I just to point out reminder Brooklyn Boys podcast as
colors currently in Knick's Orange blue, Nick's orange and blue
not Mets, not Mets. You want to save some money?
Scary always, I mean, especially after I have a leather

(50:11):
bound handles yeah that I'm kidding. I'm not kidding those
but you know, you get the vibe, you know, because
I've been duped on a lot of stuff since I
moved in here, and it would be great to take
money in case Lorraina sends you to home deep. I'm
I'm gonna help you save some money here. So I
needed uh so where I live in the town home complex.
I needed to touch up some paint on a wall.

(50:32):
So I asked the uh the maintenance team, Hey, can
I get a little bit of uh the flat white paint?
I want to paint a couple of little scratches I
scratched the wall. Yeah, no problem, We'll drop it off,
leave it on your driveway. Terrific, scary. They left me
like a five gallon, like a giant, like two and
a half foot high, giant gallon of paint. I don't

(50:53):
want to lug it upstairs. Nobody wants to see that
sitting around the house. So I said, you know what
I'm gonna do. I'll get a a one gallon or
a pint an empty container from home depot. And what
I'll do is I'll get another container to scoop the
paint out and fill my smaller container. You follow me
so far? So far? Yes, stay wake up, I'm you
wake up, I'm here, okay. So I go and get

(51:17):
the empty gallon of paint. And it was like six
bucks for an empty container for paint. And I wanted
to get a you know those plastic containers you get
Wanton soup in of course you get it right, You
get the court, the large one, you have a lid
on it. So I wanted to get either the court
or the pint as a scooper to scoop the paint
out of the big jug and put it into the

(51:38):
smaller container so I could have some in my house
and give them back the big, massive, five gallon thing
of paint that I couldn't possibly use. That's fair well.
In addition to selling nice paint cans, they sell those containers.
They're scary. So for two dollars and twenty eight cents
you can buy a Wanton soup container, and for a

(51:59):
dollar you can then buy the lid. So for four
dollars and forty six cents you can get an empty
Chinese food soup container. Yes what, but for the same
price I can go get Wanton soup. You can and
then use the empty container. Yeah, so when you need

(52:21):
one of those, don't go to home depot to get
an empty Wanton soup container. Go get Wanton soup, eat it,
and then use the empty container. Thank you, you welcome slices. Yeah,
I just I just saved your money. You believe they're
charging four dollars for something the Chinese restaurant gives you
to throw out?

Speaker 3 (52:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Who throws those out? Now you're saying yourself, well, David,
you eat Chinese food all the time, how come you
didn't have one left over? Well, I did, but I
had I had leftovers in one of them. I was like, oh,
just I'll see what I can get. So I did
not buy them at home depot. I went that night
and got more Chinese food, and I used the soup container.
So I saved myself. Maybe I spend an extra dollar

(53:02):
on the soup. So anyway, that's it. Don't buy the
wan time super Contendent's own depot. That's my public service
announcement for the day. Okay, we'll be right back. It's
the podcast. I can't really start talking about this until
next podcast. You know, you know the subject, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
to think about the thing you're planning. I got something
big in the works here this weekend, and I have

(53:25):
a problem with it. Okay, but I can't talk about
my problem with it. Why, Well, because I mean, can
we talk about general I'll give you general complaints. Scary
is planning something, okay, something that I feel is the
way Scary would like to have something planned if it
was for Scary, But it's for somebody else who doesn't

(53:50):
want a Scary style event. And Scary is aware of
that but feels like it when I see it. Is
that fair to say? Yeah, I'll tell you what. This
isn't gonna be as much fun as it will be
until we can rip the band aid off and actual
talk about it next, talk about it next. Basically, Scary things,
it's a good idea, and I think it's a bad idea,

(54:11):
and a lot of people scary nose. I think it's
a bad idea, okay, And he's like, I'm doing it.
We'll figure we'll figure that out. Yeah, I'm talking in
codes because yeah, yeah, you'll understand why next week, all right,
but just know we'll have we'll have some topics about
coming out of that thing. Yeah next week. Now you
remember last week, I played a clip from the news

(54:32):
of a newscaster quoting a song title, and when the
guy said story of my life and he went, oh,
she went okay, one direction basically right right, I found
someone else ripping us off another person. I'm flattered. I'm
more flattered by this, but I feel like people are
listening to this podcast for ideas. Give us credit. At
least I at least say thank you Brooking boys for that. Okay, now,

(54:54):
scary you remember it was the last episode of two
weeks episodes ago. I'm gonna let me let me find
the audio because it's important. I play the audio so
you remember it, and you're like, oh, I know, I
remember that audio. I got to pull up my playlist.
I don't have the playlist ready, give me a second.
I played audio of a of a very funny commercial,

(55:14):
and you remember what it was scary that I played?
The curry is yeah, I have it right here, all right,
here we go.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
If you've been in an accident that wasn't your fault, well,
your favorite attorney has a message for you.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
Collision, calamity, catastrophe. Are you innocent?

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Faultless? Above reproach? If you want money, you need an attorney,
you need a bull dog. But finding one, it's laborious,
it's strenuous, it's stupe fine. That's why you got to
call the number on your screen now they'll help you
connect to illegal.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
So I played a bunch of commercials by this guy
and I made a bit out of it. We were
joking about it, and we hire this guy. You know,
I love John Oliver from Last Week Tonight, of course,
you know. And you know he does these montage clips
yes week scary on last Week Tonight. Oh, come on,
people with song titles scary, hold on, hold on, scary,

(56:08):
hold on, you're talking? Hold on, I gotta you know
you want to hear the voiceover?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Guy?

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Ready, I can't hear any of that. That's a it's
a giant mess. Hold on, hold on. What I'll do
is I'll play it, not through, He'll play it through
the speaker. Tell me if you can hear it? Can
hear it? Yeah? A little bit. Lawyers cold he played

(56:45):
the same commercials he did. Wow, they did a whole
segment on crazy lawyer commercials and he was one of them.
That's my I did that, that's your bit.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
I did that.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
That's my bit. John Oliver. How Yeah, I'm sure that.
I'm sure he's got his his staff looking and listening
to the Brooklyn Boys podcast every week. Oh you know
how what you should do. Listen to the Brooklyn Boys podcast.
Five DEAs. I'm John Oliver. I sound just like him. Yeah,
I mean he gets an Emmy for Best Late night

(57:17):
Talk Show every year. He wins the Emmy every year.
It's the big joke he does. He works one day
a week, he gets an Emmy, and all the guys
who work four days a week, they don't get Emmys.
And he's doing the same bit I did two weeks ago,
playing the funny lawyer commercials keep scary. They're listening, I
can tell you right now. I don't know Seth Meyers.
Are you listening every single one of them? Yeah, that's

(57:39):
all right. I'm okay with it. And by the way,
even if somebody was borrowing from us, it's just borrowing.
It's and it is no, it's a compliment. It's a
John flatter. John. You're welcome, John Oliver, You're welcome, that's all.
And your crack writing staff. But if you want to
hire me, we're still available. Yeah. We talked about my
self ordering plants on this podcast? Do we ever get

(58:01):
to it? I feel like we on Slice Time? Maybe
we did we Yeah, we dabbled in it. We dabbled
in it. Yeah, I'm now obsessed. I'm a I'm a
I'm a plant dad, and I now have three three
count them three plants, the forming plants in my house. Yeah,
and I'm and I haven't posted any pictures of video

(58:23):
on Instagram. Yeah, you know. But now I'm heading for
the next level where I'm gonna buy an indoor tree.
So uh and I don't know if I should. I
need somebody, somebody, I need a voice of reason to
come in and tell me why I don't need a
fucking tree in my apartment. Have you have you?

Speaker 3 (58:40):
Have you?

Speaker 2 (58:41):
Has? Uh? Your has Lorena has recommended the the fonnchin
pepfer trees that are seven ninety nine, seven hundred and
ninety nine dollars. Look up faunchin pepper. Everyone knows that
the best indorse, Isn't that what Laverne and Shirley used
to say in The Corporator? Oh yeah, Pepper, No, I mean,
I'm these are these are fiddly figs. This is the

(59:02):
bird of paradise. These are some beauti figs. How do
you not get a fiddley figs? Why don't you get
yourself a self feeding bird too? While you're at it
for the tree? Yeah, maybe maybe get the fuck out
of here. Bruh, come on, you know me all too well? Yeah, Tellswift,

(59:24):
you are the laziest, most do it for me person
I've ever met. Yes, yes, well the trees that you're
going to get these the indoor tree. It's like you
once every two months, Yes it. I have a question,
slices you are you're asking the same question right now.
I'm gona asking for you. I'm a man of the people.
Will the branches be leather wrapped? I don't want to

(59:49):
touch branches unless there's soft and buttery leather on the
Branchy okay, all right, I'll get back to you. But no,
but no, but the rain she wants she wants me
to to buy them in clusters. So so she says, yeah,
you can't do just one plant. See here, I am
thinking I have I'm buying a plant to cover a space.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
She's like, no, no, no, no, you need three plants
there in that space, like together in a cluster. She says,
that's how it looks best. And I'm like, really, if
it's only two, it's like, look at those two of
the missing one. How awful is that? If I have
to come over your apartment scary and see metal handles
and just two plants together, I'm walking out. They need buttery,

(01:00:32):
leather handles and three plants together. Slices you, You would
walk out too. Who goes to someone's house has two plants?
That's so ghost? Tell you what, I've come a long
way since my fake calilies, Remember the calalilies that were
sitting on my I got from like Michael's or Home
Goods or whatever the fuck. But yeah, I needed a solution,
so I got a tall vase. I threw a couple

(01:00:55):
of fucking rocks in there. You know those those colored pebbles. Yeah,
of course that. And I've fake calilies and they look
as beautiful as the day that that that I bought them,
right the little dusty these ds. I'm surprised you went
to Michael's for your calilies and not uh Futon and Schmanch,
one of the best klalily companies that love it every

(01:01:15):
time that you mentioned it. pH by the way. Yeah. Wow,
you and I are worlds apart. I'll tell you that.
I just I can't. I can't with you and your
stories or your interior decorating stories. I can't the fact
that the fact that I picked out the Handle company

(01:01:36):
without knowing it. How did you? How long? Yeah? This
just shows how long we've been doing this. Oh my god.
Hey again, because I'm a man of the people, I'm
gonna recommend a food item for you that to me
was life changing. It's one of the best candies, and
it's probably limited time only, and I'm sure that uh,

(01:01:57):
Jimmy Kimmel will be talking about it a couple of
days because he's listening. Rees's not Race's Reesa's Strawberry peanut
butter and Jelly peanut butter cups. Oh my god, are
you kidding me? This is a game changer. Scary here
it is looking on the screen. Yep, right there there
it is. They are peanut butter cups with jelly at

(01:02:19):
the bottom under the peanut butter. I thought the peanut
butter and jelly emin M's were good, much like the
Chunky bar they're available at Walmart. I ordered them and
had them shipped to my house, big cup Reese's strawberry.
I'm not going to tell you what the calarier count
is or the fat content, but they're still healthier than swayfish.

(01:02:43):
That's all I'm saying. Shout out to the swayfish industry
in Maykong, Delta make My dog just threw up. Were
doing what? Don't eat that? Get right from there. What's
he doing? He just threw up dinner and then he
was sort of like going back to eat it. He
didn't like what he was hearing on your side of

(01:03:05):
I gave him. I gave him swayfish. I think that's
what the problem is, or maybe maybe he was chewing
on the leather door handles. My dog's not boogie, He's
he's not bougie, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
I want to thank Andrew heinzel Heinzelman who sent me this.
He said, I figured, since you like your die coke
with no ice, this may help you keep it cold.
It's a diet Coke Daddy. It's a it's a canister
like a you know, like a cup, but it's a
got a lid and it says die Coke Daddy on
the side. So that was pretty good that he thought
of me, and he knew I liked Die Coke without ice.

(01:03:42):
So shout out to Andrew Heizelman. I'm saying your name properly.
And then I also want to shout out to another scammer.
This person works for a company called Optimizzify. I keep
getting emails from this company at optim zify optimisify. So

(01:04:02):
here we go. Scare you're telling you if this sounds
legitimate's license? See where see where she went wrong? Here?
I just took a look at the Brooklyn Boys podcast
and honestly, it's worth a quick conversation. Scary how about that,
Danielle from Optimizify. Things are conversation. It's worth a conversation.
Here's the truth. Every episode dives into something new, but

(01:04:24):
YouTube has almost nothing to work with. When someone searches
for precisely what you do, there's nothing to work with
because the episode will not show up at all. The
solution is much easier than most people expect and could
finally turn your back catalog into an asset. We just

(01:04:46):
need a brief conversation so I can show you what
you're missing in your podcast on YouTube. No a big
fan out of out of the three hundred and roughly
eighty episodes we've done, scary. How many are on YouTube? Zero?
That's correct. So this big fan that you're setting me
up for it out, I just took a look. She

(01:05:08):
took a look at the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Yeah, and
and honestly, she said honestly scary, which means she can't
be lying. I get. I get a lot of these,
you know, to my d ms where they just want
to They're like, hey, you know you you could be
growing your fan base and I can. I'm gonna be
here to save you. I'm your rescue. I'm your savior
because you're not. I've been analyzing your profile and your

(01:05:32):
interactions and you're not using your platform to the highest
of potential. But I'm gonna swoop in here and I'm
gonna find a way to make it better for you.
Fuck you ask you this much like the Dangerous Fish,
did she sway you? Hio? She did not not sway me. No,

(01:05:54):
So yeah, so hey, listen, honey, Danielle and Optimus Iffy.
It sounds like a real company. By the way, Uh,
why don't you watch a few more episodes of the
Brooklyn Boys podcast on YouTube and give me your feedback?
Let me know if you're listening to this, if you're
watching this podcast on YouTube, Danielle at optimiss Iffie, Uh,
let me know your thoughts. I'd be curious to hear
your breakdown of the conversations we've had so far on YouTube.

(01:06:16):
And she's honestly, so it's got to be true. All right.
That's it. That's all I got for today that I
want to share with you, except, uh, do you want to?
You want a quick tip a way to save money
on gas. I've known about a last tip since I
saved your money on super containers. I used to pay
in my Dodge charger for a service called travel Link.

(01:06:36):
If you if you want a car made by Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep,
a Ram, you might have might be paying for travel
Link where you get gas prices local gas price. Yeah okay,
I don't know if you know this, but if you
go into ways the app on you in your car
on your phone and you type in gas stations, it

(01:06:58):
will not only show you all of the closest gas
stations in order, but what the price was last time
it was reported to them. So I no longer need
Travelink to get the gas prices. Thank you. Ways. I
didn't know that, did you know that? I had no clue. Yeah,
I'll show it on the screen. You see that right there.
It shows you the gas price. It says like he says,

(01:07:20):
Costco gasoline four thirteen as of yesterday quick check four
fifteen nine. That's very helpful. Actually, all right, yeah, all
right again man of the people looking to help people out.
Now the other thing. I don't mean to bury the
lead here, but oh oh hey, if you know what
I'm saying, but I was. I was at a watch
party event today for FIFA the World Cup, and you

(01:07:42):
know it's the Mad Hatter and Hoboken. We're just chilling,
met some listeners and then the wife was wanted so
badly for the husband to tell me this story. And
he keeps shying away, shining away, so I can't tell it. No, no,
I get it. And I said, look, you're not going
to me. So I said, I said, what do you

(01:08:03):
have to say? I've heard it all. He told me
a story that his wife's your key. This dog was
super jealous, super jealous of, like, super protective of his owner,
this woman, and would growl, would show his teeth every
time the guy would come around. Well, one night they

(01:08:25):
were having sex and after it was all over, he
he gets up, goes into the bathroom, was gonna go
take a shower. The dog follows him into the bathroom.
He looks down at the dog. The dog looks at him.
The dog starts growling. The dog jumps up and bites
his dick. No bite. He starts bleeding profusely because it

(01:08:48):
hits a veins. Who are these people?

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
Again?

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
These are listeners of the of the Big Show who
came to visit me at my appearance today and are
huge fans. I can't hold on. So now, I mean,
and again, this was They've been going out a while now,
I think this was what they were already married at
this point. And this happened, Oh no, wait, it was
two months ago. What am I talking about? It just
happened recently. So yeah, that's the short of it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
Is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:16):
The dog sent the guy to the emergency room. People
came the doctors. I mean, well, first of all, they
called the ambulance because there's blood everywhere. They're like, yeah,
you better go to the hospital. He went to the hospital,
got it all checked out. It was but can you
imagine a pet in defiance just biting your dick because

(01:09:40):
it hates it. It doesn't it's jealous that you're having
sex with its owner. I mean, or it just saw
a bone and it went for it. Maybe it went
for the bone, right, I don't know, because oh, here's
a dangly bit.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
But I don't think it was a revenge. I mean,
unless he was, like, you were hurting my woman with
that thing? Right? Is that what went through? It's it's mine.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
I gotta I gotta be honest with you. I've had
dogs most of my adult life. Now I'm gonna phrase that,
I've had dogs as an adult for twenty five years roughly,
maybe more twenty six. I would never walk around naked

(01:10:25):
in front of the dogs where that would be a possibility.
And my dogs are harmless, they like me, and they're
probably too small even you know reach. But the point is,
you gotta be smarter than that. You already know the
dog doesn't like you. How do you how do you
let that happen? I mean, that's got to be ridiculously painful,
and the dog let go the dog is bitten, then

(01:10:45):
let let go. It bit and then it ran it bit.
It was a bit and run and it wasn't a
bite and hold on. It wasn't a bite like take
a bite now, no no, no, no, so, or it
wasn't like I'm enjoying this, I'm gonna continue chewing on them. Right. So,
I guess my question to the slice is for some
talkbacks and some just sheer entertainment. The reason why I

(01:11:09):
brought this up a bit in your deck?

Speaker 3 (01:11:11):
Will that?

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Or what you know? How's how's your pet defied you?
What is your pet done to like, like do something
out of the ordinary or you know, yeah, revenge, revenge?
What did your pet do for revenge?

Speaker 3 (01:11:24):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
Do you have that list of different ways to say
uh from from the internet challenge from TikTok? Yes, you have.
You have the list, the list from last week when
we were doing the how's your bush? Yeah? How's your Yeah?
You shaved your bush? You have that the five different
ways of six different ways? Yeah? Right, so let me well,
I was unprepared because we're going off the script right now?

(01:11:47):
Oh wait? What script? Not on script? Well, by the way,
speaking of scripts, if you watch any of the press
conferences after game uh four of the playoffs, and I'm
sure it happens all the time. I never noticed this before.
The players have scripts. Now I understand the stats. So
they look down they go, well, we only scored thirty
two points in the you know, the second half. But
they're reading what to say, they're asking the players questions.

(01:12:11):
There's paper on the counter. They look down and they go,
we fought really hard and it was a tough fought battle.
We needed to rebound better. They're reading and they look
down and read it. It's the most unbelievable thing. I
think they do it because they all want to be
on the same page. All right. So here's that list
of when you know, going into the camera and saying
the same sentence in different ways. All right, And then

(01:12:33):
so we have we're disappointed, right, we have angry, okay, flirty, flirty, shocked, scared,
and discussed. Now this is the new trend on TikTok
and social media. They say a certain phrase, right, whatever
the phrase is, and you've got to go do it
in those emotions. What is the first emotion for what?

(01:12:56):
For the dog biting the challenge? What's the first ocean?

Speaker 3 (01:13:01):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
What did I say? It was disappointed? Disappointed? So now
we're gonna do this now, you and me, you and
I together, we're gonna do it again. The dog bit
your dick, very disappointed. The dog beat your dick. Okay,
I'll try it. The dog bits your dick. Okay, what's

(01:13:23):
the next one? Uh, let's see it's angry. Okay, the
dog bit you your dick. Why did you become Sylvester
Stallone for a second, You're like Brooklyn something. Try it again, angry,
try to get angry. Come on. The dog beat your dick.

(01:13:46):
I don't know, wow, scary, doesn't get angry? Ready. The
dog pits your dick. See that's angry. Flirty, flurdy gout flirty.
The dog bit your dick pretty good. See you don't
have angry down, but you've got flirty already. The dog

(01:14:07):
bit your dick. Okay, alright, yah, it's pretty pretty Yeah.
What about shocked? Shocked? I was shocked? Is like the
dog bet your dick. Yeah, okay, the dog bits your dick?

Speaker 3 (01:14:24):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Okay? Scared? It goes scared? Scared? Scared? The dog bet
your dick, dog bit your dicky and disgusted. Oh okay,

(01:14:54):
the dog bit your dick. Not I like that one?
Was like, now you're calling the dog an asshole, The
dog bit your dick. We gotta do a video of
this because your hand gesture, for some reason, Scary looked
like he was grabbing two rests and slices droppers to

(01:15:16):
talk back about you do yours? Yeah? Sorry? What was mine?
What was mine? What's the least one discussed? Dog bit
your dick? Didn't we do like horny and in British
last that was a whole other one. Anyway, a slices
droppings to talk back. Let us know what your dog
did or didn't do, or how your dog got or

(01:15:38):
your pet got retaliation? What bit your deck? Wait a second,
that's a terrible road to go? What is that the
title of this episode? A terrible road to go? Dog
pit your dick? The dog bit your dick? All right,
I don't know. Look, do you see what this is?
Scary that this is my dog's vomit? Brocoly Boys, Brocoli,

(01:16:06):
Broclyn Boys, Brock brocl