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May 20, 2021 13 mins

If you were able to make up a job and talk freely about, what job would it be? Also are you a noisy neighbor or have a nosey neighbor?

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
firms show. Well, here we go, the fifteen minute morning
show podcast in the room today. Oh, first of all,
who's not in the room Danielle? She took today off. Anyway,

(00:25):
this is my first morning show podcast of the week.
Last welcome. You're just in time for Thursday. Look at
my shirt. It's a schnauzer wearing gay sunglasses. I love it.
Where'd you get that at the gay Sunglasses sus er

(00:45):
t shirt shop? It's in the kiosk and them all Okay,
in the room today, We've got Froggy, We've got straight Nate,
and there's of course Gandhi with her beautiful hair pulled
off to one side. You're still sitting in daniel seat.
You like it over there? I moved No, I'm in
my seat now. I've moved back. Yes. And there's Scotty
B and Master Control, and there's Garrett in his kitchen,
and there's Dave Rody in the dead Hi guys, miss Danielle. Yeah,

(01:12):
well we were playing the game today. I really really
missed her a little air horn sound every time someone
got it right. I was just waiting on the probably
make a drop out of that, like her laugh. We
should we got many Danielle drops Hey, Um, so we
have a list of a few things to cover today.
I'm gonna just start out with something very easy. What

(01:33):
makes you quote unquote sophisticated as an adult? Like, what
do I think makes you sophisticated? Yeah? They pulled two
thousand Americans and found the top things that make you
seem classy and Okay, okay, I have I knew that
scary would be first, the least of us. I have matching,

(01:54):
matching glassware. All everything goes together like I have actually
proper place settings. I have. The correct isn't about adulting,
this is about sophisticated. Okay, okay, they think about the
fake stuff you used to put in your dating profile,
like museums and walking on the beach. Well, it's funny

(02:14):
because going to museums is number four. Reading the New
York Times. Yeah, yeah, the crossword puzzle. Yeah I do
the crossword puzzle. But I'm not sophisticated anyone else. A
nice wine collection or about number two on the list.
Is being a number two on the list is being
able to discuss different types of wine or things like Scotch. Oh,

(02:37):
nice okay, all right? Reading reading reading, uh not in
the top five. Reading is very fundamental. We should be
doing a knowledge of all the porn hub categories. There's
that sophisticated classic anyone else? Number five, yes, go ahead,

(03:01):
stocks knowing about stocks? That was number one. You're saying
having an opinion on the stock market. I mean it
shows you're sophisticated. How about wearing an ascot? All yeah,
how about this, you are an A S. Scott. What
about what about wearing a watch like I really fancy watch.

(03:26):
I'll give you the top five. Number five is being
able to discuss current events makes you sophisticated. And then
Brodie is actually a master at that in Gandhi as well.
Um and uh, being able to masterfully discussing current events.
I'm the kind of guy I only read headlines, so
you can. I can say I know about something going
on things. Someone said, well, what do you think about it?

(03:47):
I'll go I don't know. Number four sophisticated in classy
if you go to museums. Number three is wearing expensive clothing.
You can buy a cheap bascot. Sure doesn't have to
be expensive, because you can buy some non expensive, inexpensive
things and still look great and make it look Let's

(04:08):
change out the word expensive for classic maybe or whatever.
Number two being able to discuss different types of wine
and things like Scotch, and number one having an opinion
of the stock market. So also some runners up being
able to eat and discuss weird cheeses. That's your specialty. Okay, Yeah,

(04:29):
I love sophisticated boring people. So who do we know
that's sophisticated in this room? Yeah, I think you would
be the closest Elvis, You would be the closest one. Well,
I'm just old and just like I get bored, so
I eat good cheese. I don't know what it is,
and you have a candelabra multiple anyway, this is just snobby,

(04:51):
all right. So there was something else on the list. Neighbors.
Oh yeah, neighbors. Okay, listen to what Froggy did. I'm
not knows. Yeah, you're super nosy this Ismay. Do you
really want to put this out there for people to
know what you did in your neighborhood? Yeah? I don't
Care's the guy didn't moved, just his family just moved
into my neighborhood. And he is a football coach. He
has coached. He's been the head coach of a college

(05:12):
up in the Northeast area. He has been an offensive
defense coordinator for University of Texas, and now he is
coaching for the Jaguars. So I went online and did
a little research, and I found out that he when
he got relieved of his duties at the college, he
got a check for eleven million dollars, And when he
got relieved of his duties in Austin, he got to
check for another million dollars. So he's loaded. I don't
know why he's living in my neighborhood, because nobody else

(05:33):
in this neighborhood that's that kind of cash. I don't
know why he's here. Well, well, first of all, you're
making assumptions. You don't know what he did with that cash, right,
and secondly, maybe maybe he's frugal. The thing is is,
how would you like it if you found out your
neighbor knew all of that about you? I hate Gandhi.
I thought i'd bring over a bunt cake and welcome
you to the neighborhood. By the way, we love the

(05:53):
fact that you make so much money per year. We
just found out the other day. Nope, I would hate it.
I can't stand it. I don't know any of my neighbors. Honestly,
I couldn't tell you who lives directly next door to
me in my apartment building. And I kind of like
it that way. Yeah, me too, I don't know he
and his wife and his way. He and his wife,
his kids are very nice people. Though. By the way,
consider your friends with Chris h Are you friends with

(06:16):
Chris Ash now or no? Oh god? He said where
the guy works? Everywhere? I never gave any place except
the Jags. You said the college you worked. Okay, Yeah,
he used to be the head coach of Ruckers. Okay, Garrett,
you're an asshole. I think Garrett would be the nosy

(06:37):
neighbor that dug into all of this information. Yeah, tell
you I did it, But Garrett would not tell you
he did it, and just keep all the information. Well, Frog,
he just described everything where the guy worked, so an
easy Google can just pull up Chris ash just got
signed by the Jaguars as his coach and also worked
at Rutgers. But it doesn't tell you how much he made.

(06:58):
So that's a little creepier that Frog. You went an
extra level of how much he got Wikipedia. Wikipedia is
your friend. Listen, He's probably not gonna he's probably gonna
be your neighbor for like a month and a half
because he's been Iowa, San Diego, Wisconsin. We're going back
to his resume. Now Ohio again, Rutgers, I was in

(07:19):
New Jersey, Texas, and now tell you this is uncomfortable.
You can't put down roots. We put Froggy as neighbor
on his Wikipedia page. We put down Froggy is the
worst secret keeper ever. I'm thinking about a guy who
was a senator. He lived in Delaware and now he
lives in the White House. But I'm not gonna say
what is The thing is? This is when neighbors start

(07:40):
talking to neighbors, then they all start talking about each other,
but then they start talking about the people they were
just talking to behind their backs with other neighbors. It's
it's that's why I don't like living in a neighborhood.
I don't want to be in the neighbor I don't
want to know my neighbors. I don't want my neighbors
to know me. It's it's what's your name, Bob? My
name is Bob. What do you do Bob a pilot.
I'm a pilot. Make something up. I made it up.

(08:04):
I made up that job once I was I was
waiting for the train to go into New York City
from Jersey and the guy goes, hey, what do you do?
When I go, well, you know, I work on construction.
He goes, oh, great, I'm looking for a job right
now when I go and he goes. And then the
follow up question was, hey, have you ever been to jail?
And I said no. When goes okay, well, or you'll
blut or you a crypt? And I go, oh, I know,
I neither. I don't know anything. Uh you know, I

(08:27):
I just manage you obviously don't know because you called
them a crypt. Yeah, well no, no, no, he he
has He hasked me like that that just to show
you I'm not either of them. But he asked me
like if I if I was associated with a gang,
then here's a good question for you, uh, Garrett and everyone.
If you have to make up a profession, what's the

(08:47):
easiest one to give in case they quiz you? Maybe sales? Yeah,
what do you sell advertising time at a radio station?
See that's too close. I tell them that I'm trying
to play professional golf, which is true, which is true,
And I'm really shitty at golf. So you know, I
can answer any question they have about being shipped. I

(09:09):
would take like like a bank teller, because it's a
very important job. At the same time, it's all rights
are in front of you. You see, you see on
the service what they do. That's all you need to know.
I guess you know, I don't know a lot about
being a waitress for that one mail carrier. Yeah, I know,
but didn't they have questions about the USPS and they

(09:30):
especially you just go, you know what. I don't like
talking about work. It's what it's all red tape. You
want to know what my dad tells people, because of
course he's a comedian. He tells him he's he tells
him he's an astronaut because he's doing nothing but taking
up space. Yeah, it's actually great. Please don't use that, please,
thank you, thank you, Ellie. No, it's awful. That's awesome.

(09:54):
I have these kind of issues when people talk to
me about sports because I don't know anything about sports.
And there was one time where I was at my
daughter's karate class and I happen to be wearing a
Yankee hat for whatever reason, it must have been free
and so the guys like, yeah, so did you see
and that inning when that was not safe? And I
was like, yeah, man, you know and I was able
to fudge my way through it. Thank God. I didn't
want to sound like too much of an asshole. But

(10:16):
I mean, normally I can't talk about sports because I
don't know anything about it. Then if the corner you,
they say, hey, are you a sports fan in New York?
You got the Yankees? And if you say yes, then
they have follow up questions like you're talking about then
I'm I'm fucked every single time. Yeah, so I just
say no, I don't. I don't follow sports. I like bowling,

(10:37):
and then they say, well, who's your favorite bowler? And like,
I don't know. Does anyone else wear something like a
Yankee hat when you know, like like I wouldn't wear
like an opera shirt so people would ask me about
the opera You guys wear anything like scary or froggy
like Elvis? Would you wear something that about Yankee hats
and opera shirts in the same thing shirts? Like does

(10:59):
this thing? Like like if I had a T shirt
that advertised the met I would never wear that because
the same way Scotty should not be wearing a Yankee hat.
I was just wearing because it said and why And
I live in New York, so that's why I always
wearing What's wrong with that? What's wrong with you? Know?
Even though you know nothing about the sport of baseball,
you are a New Yorker. Actually you live in New Jersey.
So who the funk are you? I mean, why why

(11:23):
can't you? I mean, if someone's, ah, I see you're
a Yankee fan, who's your favorite player? I would not
be embarrassing. I don't know. I just like the hat. Yeah,
I like the Yankee I mean, you know it match.
The colors are nice. Cool. Like you walk around with
like a Billie Eilish T shirt and you're like, oh,
what's your favorite song? You're like, I don't like Billie Eilish.
I just got the shirt. We had an intern to that.
She was in here with the Sublime shirt and I said, well,

(11:43):
I love Sublime and she said, what do you mean
the band that is on your shirt? I love Sublime.
She said it's a band. I thought it was just
a word. Exactly when people were shirts if you weren't
alive in that band and you don't know anything about
that bay, and you should be wearing that T shirt.
Was always wearing the shirt with the mouth, because that's

(12:05):
you know, the Rolling Stones steps what they wear? They
what it is? Hey, look, let me tell you something.
Where would you want to wear if I ask you
what it is? And what it is? Okay, you don't
so maybe it Maybe it looks stupid for a minute,
but like your shirt whatever, get so bent out of
shape about ship like this, you realize you just said
the phrase let me tell you something without fire. Marshall, Bill,

(12:31):
we done? We done yet? You have about two minutes left.
We're done. We're done, okay, Nates right. I think Nate's
clock is correct. I'm only doing one fifteen minute morning
show podcast per week, so it's minutes, you know. By
the way, I also should not be wearing an Abercrombie
and Fit shirt because I can't fit into any of
their clothing, so I shouldn't be wearing that either. We

(12:51):
can well, large, Well, we gotta go, by bye. The
fifteen minute morning Show

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Elvis Duran

Elvis Duran

Danielle Monaro

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Skeery Jones

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Froggy

Froggy

Garrett

Garrett

Medha Gandhi

Medha Gandhi

Nate Marino

Nate Marino

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