Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Bumper Badge

Skeery, the telemarketer, taps someone's brother who HATES telemarketers!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Durand. Elvis Durand's phone tabary.
Michael Oppenheimer's back.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Absolutely, and I got an email from Liz who wanted
the phone tap her brother Darren. He runs this business
from his cell phone and he hates telemarketers.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
He gets these calls all day.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
So what better to do than to put Michael Oppenheimer
to task with Liz's brother Darren.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Here we go, let's listen to today's phone two. Hello, oh, yes,
good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Bumper Guard
Auto Supply Direct. How are you doing today, sir?

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm great in yourself.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
We have a wide array of bumper guards for your automobile.
It's a piece of rubber that goes over your bumper.
We have the bumper Bully, the bumper badger, bumper guard.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
And you're just you're just wasting your time right now.
I'm not interested, thank you very much, sir. Yes, I
own two cars.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Let me tell you a little bit about the bumper bully.
The bumper Bully offers it.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Listen. I'm not interested, thank you very much. I have
a great day.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Hello, goodson, This is mister Michael Oppenheimer pulling the bumper bully.
Holding the bumper bully offers an extra wack bumper protector surface.
As an added benefit, our bumper guard integrates dual reflectors
for suffer nighttime.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Take your pen, yes, look at one time, and cross
my name off the list. Do not call me again,
Darren speaking, I might help you.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Goodness. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer for the as a
car enthusiast.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Stop calling me. Stop calling me, sir. I told you
or dumb which which one is it?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
I spoke to you about the bumper bully, but maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Told you I'm not interested in any guard.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
If the bumper bully is not your cup of tea,
maybe the bumper badger is for you.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
It's especially something you're gonna need a bumper badger around
your less than your right eye. If you call me
one more time, you understand me. I'm the business through
my phone and you're causing up my line. I'm waiting
on an important business phone calls, and you're calling me
about a bumper badge of guard. I don't give up
about either. Call me, do you understand me? Especially one

(02:21):
more time? I don't want to report you. I don't
do not call this Do you understand what that means? Especially,
do not call me.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
The bumper badger down speaking, The bumper Badger's designed to
attach inside your trunk.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
In second, you a poor excuse for a human being
and for a salesperson. I've been in sales for over
twenty two cents.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
You flip it out when you park your car on
the street and flip it back when you leave you.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
I'm not doing I want you to.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Off now, just thirty nine nine nine today, sir.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
You know where's your office located?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
My office is located in Detroit.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
I wish I was in Detroit. Do you have a
New York office so I could come there and kick.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yours act now and we'll throw in Defender Defender for free.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Hello, dude, this is.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Mister Michael Lavenheimer.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Sir.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
For a limited time only, I'll give you the rear
and rubber tree of that includes the bumper Bully, the
bumper Badger, and Defender Defender.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Every time you call me on that list, sir, have.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
You ever been rear ended?

Speaker 3 (03:31):
The question of that?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
You didn't answer my question? Have you ever been rear ended?
I've got one in the front and one in the
back of all three of my cars. Now I have
protection when another guy rams me from behind.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
I'm showing another guy ms from behind.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Don't you have nicks, scratches, dents, chipped paint on your car?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Sup? Before? How you never literally walked outside your office
and have someone walk up to you and beat out
of you? What I'm going to do?

Speaker 1 (04:12):
The bumper bully? Sure, the bumper Hello, this is mister
Michael Oppenheimer with the bumper badger, bumper bully in the
fender defender, the bumper.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Badger in the bumper badger?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Sir, how many of these would you like to purchase today?

Speaker 3 (04:32):
I don't know how many of these would you like
to purchase today? You sound like you sound like you're
juggling bolves in your mouth. So is it going to
be the bumper?

Speaker 1 (04:41):
The bumper Badger's going to be the bumper bully, Defender's
gonna be the would you like the rear end rubber
tree You're.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Gonna be the bumper boo boo? Or is this going
to be the bumper rubber.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yogi, rubber baby buggy bumpers. Let's take this from the top.
My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
My name is mister.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
I need protection when another man.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
I need protector when another man rams me from behind.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Idiot mind. He was Scary Jones from Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show. You've been phone tapped, Liz is on
the phone. Okay, there, you are such an idiot.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
I hate you already.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre recorded
with permission granted by all of participates.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show