December 2, 2025 • 10 mins
Today, we talk all things divorce including if marriages should have contracts that renew.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Get your hands together and we're going to start to
party starting pod.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm ready to party, the Elvis Duran After Party.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You're after Party Podcast. Hi y'all, how y'all doing. Here's
something that we study every five or six years. It's
on cycle with our show. It's the concept of renewing
wedding licenses.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Should be mandatory.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
It should be managed just like a driver's license.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Right absolutely. I mean, you know, one, we already know
that the divorce rate is really really high. But I
think that people change over time, and you know, committing
to someone when you're twenty five versus thirty five, they're
probably totally different things. Do you still want to be
in it? Or should you just be allowed at h
no strue.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Here's the question, what's the advantage of renewing license versus
just divorce?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, I think it's a less messy solution to the divorce.
Like if in ten years you can say, you know what,
both of us are not on the same page as
far as doing this, we're done.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
So it's like a contract. Yeah, it's like a three
year contract and then okay, we want to.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
Renew this, But then you have to figure out I
guess all the other things, like do we split things evenly?
Do we like, like, if you have kids, like, you
have a contract, you've got to.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Feel so if you don't rene your contract, it's a
divorce basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, unless unless you're not married
anymore because you're you're expired.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I don't know how it's gonna change that, the financial
the financial separation stuff. But here's here's a great idea
that SEMs from this and I like this, Gandhi. Gandhi
brought it up to us today. It makes you sit
down and have the conversation. Yeah. Right, if you're just
in a marriage ten, twenty, thirty years, whatever, how many
times you actually feel prompted to sit down and have
(01:53):
to discuss if it's working or not. Yeah, this is
a case where you both have to sit down and
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
We make it so much easier than it probably is, sure.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You know, I think so. I just I mean, how
many people do we know? We know so many people
who are in marriages that they cannot stand and they
have all these reasons why they can't just leave that person,
and it's really sad. And I'm like, but what if
the contract is expired and everything was okay, and you
could move on about, you know, your life in the
way that you want to.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
That's okay.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I think Sheldon would pick me again, see, and then
you wouldn't have to worry about it. And I told,
because I always tell him how bored he'd be without me.
He just keep saying a lot of less drama, that's
for sure, you know, that's the answer I get.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean,
he would probably miss some of that drama, highly entertained, right,
So I keep telling him, but yeah, okay. Let's let's
say you're sitting down with the person you're married to
and you have you have thirty days left, so you
have to either you know, march down or go online
and redo it or whatever. Yeah, you have to get
it redone. You have to physically maybe pay a fee
(02:56):
and you know, RELICNSE and up your license. And you're like,
oh no, no, I can't do it. I think we're done.
You know. Then the conversation starts, well why are you done?
And you actually talk about things that you wouldn't talk
about normally.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Right, I mean, I think when you commit to someone forever,
that's a big, big word in a very long time.
But you might not be thinking about all the things
that could change down the road. And I think that
you should just be able to reassess, like, hey, are
you still happy? How many people would just coast forever
and not actually be happy?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
What about you? Nate forces you to have that conversation,
that's for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
And I'll say this, I think for anybody that's been
through a divorce, you probably know before that conversation even
happens that it's not going to continue. So yeah, I
firmly agree with this. Gandhi. I think this is a
great idea and too bad it's not implemented. I know that,
fellow divorces.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Am I I guess you are? Yeah, yes you are.
You're a gay divorcee.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
You know. I think that you just know that it's
not going to continue. And if that conversation was forced
to happen because the contract was expiring, you would be
able to admit, Okay, let's this is not working for me,
and then you either come to terms where you can
renew that contract or.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You just end it right and with divorces, yeah, when
you renew a contract, you have to think about what
you're renewing, and it's it's a good thing for everyone.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Go hey, gnhi. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Well, with divorces, one person can contest it. But I
feel like with this marriage license renewal, if one person
doesn't sign, it's not getting renewed. That's it. You can't
fight back and forth about it. You both didn't sign,
so it's not happening, that's it. Whereas you know, we've
seen so many divorces where one person wants it and
the other person's contesting it, and it's like, dude or woman,
why are you doing this?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Let it go? Yeah, why would you want to contest
with someone?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
You know?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'll change their mind, I'll make them like me again. Yet,
exactly is this going on in any country in the world,
any other place I want if they do have marriage
licenses that expire.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I don't know much about prenups. Probably contributed to my
problem is that something you can put any prenup elvis
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
You can put whatever you want. You can put whatever
you want into a prenup, but different states have have
different levels and lines that what is what they say
is fair and not fair. Does that make sense? So
you could say, well, if we decided to divorce, you
got to pay me two million dollars. Well, you know,
the judge at that point will go, well, this is
(05:36):
this is not going to stand up. No, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh so then what's the point of it.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
The well no, but well okay, Well I can speak
for a friend. Different states have different numbers that they have.
It's it's it's it's all kind of formulated where you know,
if you've been together this many years and you make
this much money, there's there's there's math involved, and that
(06:05):
this would be fair. This would be a fair threshold
for them to be paid out. Okay, if the wedding
comes to the marriage comes to a close, you could
actually put a number much lower or number much higher,
but those would be those would be easily contested by
the judges in that state. Does it make sense? Yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
And it's different from state to state. We just spoke
to somebody it is state in the Midwest, and I
was blown away by what their law was versus the
law here.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
Interesting, right, like, we have a no fault state, right,
Jersey is a no fault state. I had a friend
who was not at fault for the divorce. They got
divorced because he cheated on her and it was really
really bad, but she made more money, so she had
to pay him.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I'm like, dude, he cheating on you and you had
to pay him.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
That's how it works.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Another kind of sad thing about the no fault state
is you can just get a phone call from an
attorney one day saying, hey, they want to divorce you really,
and there's there's no contesting it, no, no, they can
go and if you have a prenup, you got to
pay him no matter what. That's the way that works.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
One of the interesting things about all this that we
keep talking about is everybody is talking about these numbers
because marriage is a business contract, isn't it. It is
a contract because if it's just love, you don't have
to get anybody else involved. But when there's a contract,
because of how it works, it needs to be looked at.
I think from a more businesslike perspective.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Agree.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Oh God, that's one who's never getting mad.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
You're going to get married.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
In my opinion, when he yelsy agrees, no, I do agree.
Speaker 6 (07:43):
Because I feel like we always talk about you change
as a person day by day, so every two years
there should be a required a required you know, reup
of the contract, and you must be required to take
like an assessment test of all these questionnaire like did
you fulfill this? Did you honor that? And then this
(08:03):
way you get graded on it, and you guys look
at each other's scores and you're like, then you could
really say, yeah, it's time to get okay.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
So if this was the case, would you marry Robin
for two years and then sit down and discuss whether
to re up?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I would?
Speaker 6 (08:18):
I would think about it, Okay, No, because marriages forever,
they always say it's forever. You're putting your you know,
you're taking these vows, and I don't know that to
me is too permanent.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I don't like permanence. I don't know. I don't think
people getting married anymore think of it as permanence. I
just don't, you know, no, not not realistically, you know,
to be wetted forever. I don't think people getting married
a lot. I'm not saying everyone, but a lot of
people are like, well, it's gonna work, and if it
doesn't work, we won't together anymore, we'll get out.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Of it anymore. It seems like I'm gonna try my best.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, I'll give my best. Yeah, I'll give it a shot.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
But I think it also depends on how you were
brought up, and also religious religion plays a big part
in a lot of people's lives and being married, you know,
in your church or in your synagogue or you know whatever.
So I think some people do look at it differently,
that it's under the eyes of the boy. It's different,
you know.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah, they do. And then the divorce, Yeah, some.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Of them, some of them don't.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I know, Daniel, that's exactly what I just said, didn't
I I did. We're good, We're good. Well, there you go,
a very happy conversation about divorce.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Be realistic about what's going on. Like you would never
sign a work contract forever, so you should just think
about things because it is a business contract in so
many ways. Think about it in that context.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I just don't see the difference between just divorcing versus
it expires. Well, what are the benefits to just having
expired and you walk away? There's still a business contract.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I haven't worked it all out in my head yet.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Go get that work. Starting a business. I think you
started a business exactly, So go ahead. If you're listening
to us on the iHeartRadio app, you can hit the
talk back button tell us what you think we want
to hear. What's on your
Speaker 2 (10:01):
The Elvista RAN after party
Get your hands together and we're going to start to
party starting pod.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm ready to party, the Elvis Duran After Party.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You're after Party Podcast. Hi y'all, how y'all doing. Here's
something that we study every five or six years. It's
on cycle with our show. It's the concept of renewing
wedding licenses.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Should be mandatory.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
It should be managed just like a driver's license.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Right absolutely. I mean, you know, one, we already know
that the divorce rate is really really high. But I
think that people change over time, and you know, committing
to someone when you're twenty five versus thirty five, they're
probably totally different things. Do you still want to be
in it? Or should you just be allowed at h
no strue.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Here's the question, what's the advantage of renewing license versus
just divorce?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, I think it's a less messy solution to the divorce.
Like if in ten years you can say, you know what,
both of us are not on the same page as
far as doing this, we're done.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
So it's like a contract. Yeah, it's like a three
year contract and then okay, we want to.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
Renew this, But then you have to figure out I
guess all the other things, like do we split things evenly?
Do we like, like, if you have kids, like, you
have a contract, you've got to.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Feel so if you don't rene your contract, it's a
divorce basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, unless unless you're not married
anymore because you're you're expired.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I don't know how it's gonna change that, the financial
the financial separation stuff. But here's here's a great idea
that SEMs from this and I like this, Gandhi. Gandhi
brought it up to us today. It makes you sit
down and have the conversation. Yeah. Right, if you're just
in a marriage ten, twenty, thirty years, whatever, how many
times you actually feel prompted to sit down and have
(01:53):
to discuss if it's working or not. Yeah, this is
a case where you both have to sit down and
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
We make it so much easier than it probably is, sure.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You know, I think so. I just I mean, how
many people do we know? We know so many people
who are in marriages that they cannot stand and they
have all these reasons why they can't just leave that person,
and it's really sad. And I'm like, but what if
the contract is expired and everything was okay, and you
could move on about, you know, your life in the
way that you want to.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
That's okay.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I think Sheldon would pick me again, see, and then
you wouldn't have to worry about it. And I told,
because I always tell him how bored he'd be without me.
He just keep saying a lot of less drama, that's
for sure, you know, that's the answer I get.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean,
he would probably miss some of that drama, highly entertained, right,
So I keep telling him, but yeah, okay. Let's let's
say you're sitting down with the person you're married to
and you have you have thirty days left, so you
have to either you know, march down or go online
and redo it or whatever. Yeah, you have to get
it redone. You have to physically maybe pay a fee
(02:56):
and you know, RELICNSE and up your license. And you're like,
oh no, no, I can't do it. I think we're done.
You know. Then the conversation starts, well why are you done?
And you actually talk about things that you wouldn't talk
about normally.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Right, I mean, I think when you commit to someone forever,
that's a big, big word in a very long time.
But you might not be thinking about all the things
that could change down the road. And I think that
you should just be able to reassess, like, hey, are
you still happy? How many people would just coast forever
and not actually be happy?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
What about you? Nate forces you to have that conversation,
that's for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
And I'll say this, I think for anybody that's been
through a divorce, you probably know before that conversation even
happens that it's not going to continue. So yeah, I
firmly agree with this. Gandhi. I think this is a
great idea and too bad it's not implemented. I know that,
fellow divorces.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Am I I guess you are? Yeah, yes you are.
You're a gay divorcee.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
You know. I think that you just know that it's
not going to continue. And if that conversation was forced
to happen because the contract was expiring, you would be
able to admit, Okay, let's this is not working for me,
and then you either come to terms where you can
renew that contract or.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You just end it right and with divorces, yeah, when
you renew a contract, you have to think about what
you're renewing, and it's it's a good thing for everyone.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Go hey, gnhi. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Well, with divorces, one person can contest it. But I
feel like with this marriage license renewal, if one person
doesn't sign, it's not getting renewed. That's it. You can't
fight back and forth about it. You both didn't sign,
so it's not happening, that's it. Whereas you know, we've
seen so many divorces where one person wants it and
the other person's contesting it, and it's like, dude or woman,
why are you doing this?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Let it go? Yeah, why would you want to contest
with someone?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
You know?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'll change their mind, I'll make them like me again. Yet,
exactly is this going on in any country in the world,
any other place I want if they do have marriage
licenses that expire.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I don't know much about prenups. Probably contributed to my
problem is that something you can put any prenup elvis
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
You can put whatever you want. You can put whatever
you want into a prenup, but different states have have
different levels and lines that what is what they say
is fair and not fair. Does that make sense? So
you could say, well, if we decided to divorce, you
got to pay me two million dollars. Well, you know,
the judge at that point will go, well, this is
(05:36):
this is not going to stand up. No, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh so then what's the point of it.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
The well no, but well okay, Well I can speak
for a friend. Different states have different numbers that they have.
It's it's it's it's all kind of formulated where you know,
if you've been together this many years and you make
this much money, there's there's there's math involved, and that
(06:05):
this would be fair. This would be a fair threshold
for them to be paid out. Okay, if the wedding
comes to the marriage comes to a close, you could
actually put a number much lower or number much higher,
but those would be those would be easily contested by
the judges in that state. Does it make sense? Yes, okay.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
And it's different from state to state. We just spoke
to somebody it is state in the Midwest, and I
was blown away by what their law was versus the
law here.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
Interesting, right, like, we have a no fault state, right,
Jersey is a no fault state. I had a friend
who was not at fault for the divorce. They got
divorced because he cheated on her and it was really
really bad, but she made more money, so she had
to pay him.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I'm like, dude, he cheating on you and you had
to pay him.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
That's how it works.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Another kind of sad thing about the no fault state
is you can just get a phone call from an
attorney one day saying, hey, they want to divorce you really,
and there's there's no contesting it, no, no, they can
go and if you have a prenup, you got to
pay him no matter what. That's the way that works.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
One of the interesting things about all this that we
keep talking about is everybody is talking about these numbers
because marriage is a business contract, isn't it. It is
a contract because if it's just love, you don't have
to get anybody else involved. But when there's a contract,
because of how it works, it needs to be looked at.
I think from a more businesslike perspective.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Agree.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Oh God, that's one who's never getting mad.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
You're going to get married.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
In my opinion, when he yelsy agrees, no, I do agree.
Speaker 6 (07:43):
Because I feel like we always talk about you change
as a person day by day, so every two years
there should be a required a required you know, reup
of the contract, and you must be required to take
like an assessment test of all these questionnaire like did
you fulfill this? Did you honor that? And then this
(08:03):
way you get graded on it, and you guys look
at each other's scores and you're like, then you could
really say, yeah, it's time to get okay.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
So if this was the case, would you marry Robin
for two years and then sit down and discuss whether
to re up?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I would?
Speaker 6 (08:18):
I would think about it, Okay, No, because marriages forever,
they always say it's forever. You're putting your you know,
you're taking these vows, and I don't know that to
me is too permanent.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I don't like permanence. I don't know. I don't think
people getting married anymore think of it as permanence. I
just don't, you know, no, not not realistically, you know,
to be wetted forever. I don't think people getting married
a lot. I'm not saying everyone, but a lot of
people are like, well, it's gonna work, and if it
doesn't work, we won't together anymore, we'll get out.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Of it anymore. It seems like I'm gonna try my best.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, I'll give my best. Yeah, I'll give it a shot.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
But I think it also depends on how you were
brought up, and also religious religion plays a big part
in a lot of people's lives and being married, you know,
in your church or in your synagogue or you know whatever.
So I think some people do look at it differently,
that it's under the eyes of the boy. It's different,
you know.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah, they do. And then the divorce, Yeah, some.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Of them, some of them don't.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I know, Daniel, that's exactly what I just said, didn't
I I did. We're good, We're good. Well, there you go,
a very happy conversation about divorce.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Be realistic about what's going on. Like you would never
sign a work contract forever, so you should just think
about things because it is a business contract in so
many ways. Think about it in that context.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I just don't see the difference between just divorcing versus
it expires. Well, what are the benefits to just having
expired and you walk away? There's still a business contract.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I haven't worked it all out in my head yet.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Go get that work. Starting a business. I think you
started a business exactly, So go ahead. If you're listening
to us on the iHeartRadio app, you can hit the
talk back button tell us what you think we want
to hear. What's on your
Speaker 2 (10:01):
The Elvista RAN after party
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