The Toilet Seat

Would you buy a used toilet seat? Since Skeery couldn't hear us while in the same room, listen to a story brody tells! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firms Represents two minute morning show. All right, I feel
like the best thing to do is to be honest

(00:23):
and upfront. Normally we cheat people and kind of skate
out a few minutes early. We have a lot of
stuff going on today, so it's going to be a
shorter podcast. There, I said it. Sorry, it's gonna be shorter.
Live with it people, if you're listening, everybody, okay with that? Yes,
there's no video? I'm sorry, yes, can I have petition

(00:46):
that there never be any video again? Okay, please state
your case. Much more relaxing not having the camera. I agree.
I like old school. We just sat here and just
you don't have to worry about where you looked. Right,
We're gonna be way funnier. You know what The worst
part is if like, like sometimes we're all on different
zooms and they still want to use the video. They
will zoom in on Gandhi in my face in the

(01:08):
zoom room, off our nose. When we make a comment
on something and I'm like, what, what, why are you?
Why are you that we did not consent to this?
What is this? We got jobs in radio, but by
putting it online. We've created an animal, because that animal
gets more listens and views than when we only post
the audio. We came then and created it. We can

(01:30):
put it to sleep, right, good luck with that? Okay?
So well, anyway, that's the case. We're not there's no video.
It's going to be shorter. Scottie and Brody both had
something to talk about today. Scotti, you go first, Oh, okay, um,
would you buy? I used a toilet seat? No, God,
no question, no, I I can I explain just for
a second. Sure. So I ordered a toilet seat from

(01:52):
Amazon for my kid's bathroom. Okay, I installed it, and
then I realized that I didn't get the soft closed one.
It's just a one goes boom. So I was like,
damn it. So I initiated a return and I ordered
the soft clothed one. But in the meantime, we needed
a toilet seat there because I threw the dirty one away,
and so my daughter used it the next day before

(02:14):
I was able to, you know, uninstall it. And then
I put it back in the box and I sent
it back and they took it and they refunded my money.
But see, here's the thing, though, because I'm looking on
Amazon now at toilet seats and it says save with
used very good. So are they now going to sell
my one time used toilet seat to somebody? Which the discount?

(02:35):
How much it is a seven dollar discount? Oh? Oh,
you know what, Scotty, maybe you could buy back your
the one you returned. But they're very trusting though, because
they gave me the refund as soon as the UPS
label was scanned. Like what if I blew ship up
under it and put it back in the box and
sent it back. Well, here's the thing, think about it.
How many public toilets have you taken a dump on?

(02:55):
How many people have taken ships in that ladies room
that you squat over? But apartments you've lived in that
aren't always changed? The new apartment change the first one
in my apartment, first person I ever lived there. Good
for you. I guarantee the plumber took a dump on
your toilet. I think when I've moved into houses, we've
changed this as immediately. Would you buy used toilet seat? Never? Right?

(03:20):
You don't even borrow someone's pants? Yeah? You think I
would not? And I told you I like I put
toilet paper down on the toilet seat at my parents house.
So it's like, oh my god, really old saggy asses
with drippy stuff. I don't know. There's always stuffed crusted

(03:41):
on the seat. How much did you pay for the
toilet seat? Thirty two dollars? You overpaid, first of all, No,
I don't know. I didn't not for the soft closed
one closest depot come on. Okay, so you know it
is kind of a gray area, you know, if you
would get used to well, no, his parents house, it's great. Yeah, yeah,

(04:03):
it's beige from the eighties. That's how how many acids?
Is it? Soft? Do you guys remember the soft? And
then when you get up and get stuck to it?
That is the worst. When my parents first bought their
new house, it had those soft toilet seats. They couldn't
change about fast enough. It was disgusting. Why did you
buy that? No? No, no no soft the one that closes gently. Yeah,

(04:24):
I don't think. Did you guys have old relatives when
you're growing up that had clear plastic loose sight that
had things in it like coins and fish like things
in the seat in the toilet seat. Yeah, like it
was clear plastic, but there was in the mold of
it was coins or different seashells. Actually kind of cool.
I like that. Now, crap on to my grandma's and

(04:45):
I chiseled the coins out of course, you go. Okay, Well,
the person that purchases Scottie's used toilet seed godspeed should
have said aaved it and in some way auctioned it
off on the only fans page that You're never sorry,
that's true, some weirdo. What about your poop seat? He

(05:09):
can't hear us, and I have something he can't You
can't Okay, here he confessed something on the Brooklyn Boys
podcast yesterday. If we make eye contact, okay, his headphones
are back on, so he told me. If you listened
to on episode to the Brooken Boys podcast, which goes
up live tomorrow, you'll get more details. But the short

(05:31):
version of the story is during sex with a girl
years before his current curl. He hate the story. Yeah,
the woman had a big dog, like a like a slobbery,
like a St. Bernard kind of dog. And apparently in
the position he was in the dog with his butt
ah dream Yeah, and not just his but the dog

(05:58):
got in there, okay, And and he said, that's another
reason why I'll never have a dog. Wait, if the
dog got in there, you have to allow it. Well,
that's what I said. I asked him, what were you
doing that allowed for access? He was, I don't know.
I just know the dog got access, kissed his cousin
and made out with it. So then I said, did
you any point You must have kissed this woman? Right,

(06:18):
you know the dog has done that before, and you've
kissed this woman who's you know who has kissed that dog,
and you know she's been with other man. So you
basically kissed some other guy's ass. So that's right, scary, right.
He can't say that. No one can see him. Let's
wrap it up. He has no idea what we just
talked about him like this for the last two minutes. Yeah,
but hear him tell the story episode as we end this,

(06:41):
let's scary. Finished, he's finished prerecorded thing. He just say bye,
We're done the whole thing. Yes, I've been in headphones
the whole time. I didn't haven't heard a word of this.
And we finished, and he split to know what I
want to hear? I just I just was going to

(07:03):
impart my opinion. But a dog was in your grass.
I named the dog rim tintin perfect. You didn't talk
about that dad, You know, the fifteen minute Morning Show