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February 6, 2026 12 mins

On this episode of Tommy Talk, Tommy dives into the world of love just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s one of the most polarizing holidays out there. Some people adore it, others absolutely can’t stand it. But in a world that can feel dark and heavy, maybe there’s a way to reframe Valentine’s Day into something everyone can actually enjoy. This episode breaks down the hype, the pressure, the cringe, and the cool. So grab some chocolate and let’s lay it all on the table.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, welcome to another Tommy Talk, and today's topic
is Valentine's Day, Cool or cringe. So, the big love
holiday is coming up and people have a lot of
opinions about it, a lot of opinions about it. So
whether you are single or with a spouse, or a
girlfriend or boyfriend, or celebrating or not celebrating, let's talk

(00:25):
about Valentine's Day and really lay on the table if
it's cool or cringe, and then I'm going to declare
my final thoughts on this holiday.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Right. So, technically it is a.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hallmark holiday, which is why I think there's so much controversy.
People are like, oh my god, it's a way for
corporations and companies to make money off of lovey dovey
themed items and gifts.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
So there's a lot of opinions on it.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
It's also a holiday that makes people feel a certain
way or not. But I think there's a lot to
go over and look out when we talk about Valentine's
Day to really discuss why it might be cool and
why it might be cringe. So let's talk about why
Valentine's Day may be cool. Okay, I think what's cool about.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
It is yes, it is a.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Hallmark holiday, but it allows you time to celebrate anyone
in your life that you love, whether it is a partner,
whether it is a friendship, whether it's Gallentine's Day, which
is super popular, you know, where a bunch of girlfriends
go out and celebrate each other. I think that we
live in a world that is so intense and heavy
and sometimes very dark, that if there is an opportunity

(01:30):
to celebrate somebody that you genuinely love, well, why wouldn't
we take it right? And we should celebrate people in
our lives all the time. But let's be honest, life
gets busy. Sometimes we feel like we can't get off
of the hamster wheel. So to have a dedicated day
where you're like, oh, okay, this is coming up, Let's make
that dinner reservation, let's go out for a guy's night

(01:52):
or a girls' night, like, it forces you on the
calendar to make a plan that I actually really like.
I have had single Valentine's Days where I've spent with
my best friend and gone out, and then I've had
Valentine's Days where I'm with my husband. Right, So I
think that it's an excuse to really sink your teeth

(02:13):
into the relationships that matter.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
And I like that. I really do like that. So
while it.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Might seem cheesy and a little over the top, and
you walk into a store and you see those little
balloons with weird graphics on them or cheesy stuffed animals,
it's still a time to celebrate the people that you love.
And I'm here for it. I am, I'm here for it.
I like that it's an excuse to show appreciation for

(02:40):
those people that you care about. I think to have
a bonus day in the year where you get to
do that is really a nice thing, and it kind
of forces you to do outside of the box things
that you don't do all year. Maybe it's you send
a card, or maybe you buy a little gift for somebody.
Doesn't have to be expensive, you know, maybe you do
something nice, maybe you set up a spa day with
your friends. It's the social aspect of it that if

(03:02):
you lean into it, I think it's really cool. So
if you are somebody that's like Valentine's Day sucks and
I can't believe it's coming up again and I hate it, well,
I would say maybe reframe it to doing something you've
always wanted to do, or that you don't get to
do a lot of, right, so make it a really
fun social occasion for you and your friends. I like

(03:24):
that we can celebrate self love as well. Who says
Valentine's Day has to be about loving someone else. It's
great to love other people, trust me, but you can
also love yourself and celebrate self love, pamper yourself. When
the hell do we do that in everyday life. I
don't know when I got a massage last and my
body needs it. It's like falling apart on me right now.

(03:45):
I got back from a wedding our friends got married.
I decided to do a jump split on the dance
floor and then slide across the dance floor. And let
me tell you, I have two skinned knees that hurt
every time I bend them. And I have a tear
in my hip from dancing from doing a jump split
on the dance floor. Right, so that's healing. I got
some shots in my ass, which was not fun. But

(04:08):
here we are and we're healing that. So anyway, I
say all of that to say I need a massage.
Like once that kind of the inflammation goes down a
little I need a massage. Why haven't I made the
appointment yet? Self love is important, and I think Valentine's
Day can be a reminder that we should pamper ourselves
that weekend, get a facial, go to a walk, I
don't know, do whatever the hell you want to do,

(04:28):
but focus on you. It doesn't always have to be
about other people. I love putting my love into other people.
Trust me, I am a very generous person.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
In that kind of a way.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
I love the people that I love and I want
to do everything in anything I can for them.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
But that doesn't mean we have to neglect ourselves either.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
So I say we can look at Valentine's Day as
a way to practice self love, maybe during a time
in a busy year when we don't always get to
do that. So that piece of it, to me is really, really,
really appealing. And I think lastly, why it's cool is,
I don't know, you're kind of coming off of the
holidays and you have such an overload of joy and

(05:06):
fun and there's so much happening, and then you hit
the January blues and you're in the winter and you're like,
oh my god, I feel like all of that is gone.
It gives you something to look forward to. It's like, oh,
look there's another mini little holiday that we can make
whatever we want.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Let's have fun with it.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Let's decorate the house with some cute red and pink
heart stuff and show ourselves or the people we love
that we love them. So I like the festive nature
of it as well. Here's why it can be cringe.
The over the top gifts or like public displays of
affection can be a lot like I don't need to

(05:40):
watch a reality show, a bad reality show when I
open my Instagram, and sometimes people are very showy in
the sense that they do things because they want the
likes or the attention or the comments, and you're like, guys,
nobody in.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
The real world is doing that. Why in the world are.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
You acting like this is a normal display of effect
for Valentine's Day? Like you can just I always say,
you can smell a fake. And some people go so
above and beyond trying to create this curated idea of
what that day should be that it just makes your
roll your eyes. I'm not here for the over the
top public displays. I think it's a bit much, So

(06:18):
that's something I don't love. I think the pressure it
can put on people to have a boyfriend or girlfriend
a spouse, be married if they're not married. Like, the
pressure that it can put on you, I understand, can
be a lot, and it can feel daunting, and it
can make people feel left out when they see couple's
pictures and everyone declaring their love for each other, so
that I don't love either because I'm someone that doesn't

(06:39):
want people to feel left out ever, But to that,
I would encourage you to think, maybe like, Okay, if
it's not your time right now, it's coming if that's
what you want. It's all about timing. When I met
my husband, I didn't expect it, I didn't want it.
We just met in a love story began, so you
just never know I can happen. But I do understand
that it can make you feel left out, so that's

(07:00):
not an amazing part of it as well. I think
that can be a little hurtful. I think that ads
and movies and social media can make it feel like
everyone must have a Valentine, and that's not reality. First
of all, a lot of people don't want a Valentine.
A lot of people don't want it. They want to
be single and thriving, and I love that for them,
like good for you. Everybody deserves to live the life

(07:22):
they want to live. But there are people who do
feel left out and like they should have a Valentine.
So that's why I mentioned self love earlier, because it's like,
let's flip the script. We don't need to listen to
these advertisers saying that, right, do what makes you feel good.
I think the unrealistic depictions of love also can be
something that can be detrimental or dangerous for people. I

(07:44):
think real world love is not always what you see
in a movie, and there's a level of intimacy and
going through a journey with somebody that's not always depicted
in pop culture. Right, There's a lot in a love story,
and I think sometimes people have these unrealistic depictions, like
someone is going to, you know, change my life in

(08:06):
February on Valentine's Day when I walk into a bar
and I hope that. I really hope that for people,
but that's not always the case. That's not always the case.
So I think that the unrealistic depictions out there can
sometimes set people up for I don't want to say failure,
but for feeling like they're never going to get what
they want. So there's a lot that can be quote

(08:28):
unquote cringe about Valentine's Day, for sure. So what I
would say is, you know, if you're somebody who celebrates,
whether it is with a friend or a partner, do
things that aren't so over the top and do things
that really matter, like I don't know, make a handmade card,
make an experience, do things that really are what love,

(08:51):
in any sense of the words, should be about. It's
not about the big grand gestures. It's like I said,
it can be over the top and cringe. It's just
about really showing up for somebody and showing you're there
for somebody and listening and maybe there's something they've talked
about all year that they're like, oh, that would be
so cool to have. And it doesn't have to be
a big, big, expensive thing. It's like, oh, I listened,

(09:11):
I clocked that I took, I stored it away in
my closet, and I give it to you and let
me write a beautiful note and let's go to a
cooking class. Like an experience with anyone that you love,
friend or boyfriend, girlfriend is a great way to go
about it. I also think you got to do what
makes you feel good. Right, If all you want is
love in a romantic relationship, put it out there. Maybe

(09:31):
next year will be the year. Maybe a month from
Valentine's Day will be a year. Nothing wrong with putting
it out there. Put it out there, like, don't give up,
don't think it's never going to happen, Like stay true
to what you want in your life. But then this year,
go enjoy that love in a friendship. Love has many forms.
I keep wanting to ingrain that in all of us,
because it does, it does. I'm flipping the script on

(09:53):
Valentine's Day. Love has many forms. The holiday is I
think most fun when it's low pressure. Sure, when it's genuine,
when it's personal, when you can celebrate those friendships or
self love or somebody that you're in a relationship with
through simple acts of kindness. That's what I would say. So,

(10:15):
all in all, do I think Valentine's Day is cringe?
Or do I think Valentine's Day is cool? You know
what I'm gonna say. I think Valentine's Day is cool
because A I don't want to live my life as
a pessimist or as someone that can't see the good
in as many things out there that I can. And

(10:37):
while it is a hallmark holiday and we can go
on and on about corporations creating these things, and you
know how they're made to sell products and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
I get it. I get all of that. I get it.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
But if you really think of the core of the holiday,
it's about love. I'm somebody that loves love in all
the forms of it. So if there is a day
that can get us out of our daily grind and
get us off that hamster wheel as I mentioned earlier,
to sell break ourselves, our friends, the people that we're
in a relationship with, why not.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Why not it's one day.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
I think the holiday has a lot of unnecessary hate,
and I don't know, I just don't subscribe to that.
I think that we can reframe it. We can handle
it in a way that's not annoying or obnoxious or showy,
and we can really strip it down to a day
just being about what matters, which is love. Love in
all forms, in every single form. So I implore you

(11:28):
this year, as a holiday is coming up, if you're
feeling like, oh I hate Valentine's say it sucks. Don't
put that energy on you. Don't put that energy on you.
Go have a fun day for yourself with a friend
or with someone you're in a relationship with.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
All valid.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Go have a great, great meal and make some memories
for you. Flip the script. Make that holiday what you
want it to be. Reclaim it, reclaim it. Don't let
society tell you what it has to be. You make
it what you want it to be. All right, Well,
this sucker for love, sign it off. I love each
and every one of you, Thank you for tuning in.

(12:03):
Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of you,
and may the holiday be exactly what.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
You want it to be.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy
de Dario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piblici
at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.
I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis
Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review
and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,

(12:36):
tell your friends. Until next time. I'm Tommy de Dario

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