August 14, 2026 • 12 mins
On this episode of “Tommy Talk,” Tommy discusses why finally saying the things we’ve never said before, to a friend, a loved one, or even to ourselves, can be one of the most freeing things we ever do. We all have things we bury deep. But why do we do it? Maybe something feels too painful to relive. Maybe we’re afraid people will look at us differently once we reveal the things we’ve kept tucked away. Will we feel embarrassed? Will we feel like we’re playing the victim when we know other people are going through things we perceive as even worse? Will we feel naked and exposed? Or worst of all…will we feel judged? Admittedly, all of these thoughts have crossed my mind at different points in my life when I’ve wanted to share the things I’ve kept hidden with the people closest to me. And I know I’m not alone. Saying something out loud that you’ve never said before can feel terrifying. But it can also feel like returning a missing puzzle piece to your soul. In that moment you take a little piece of your power back. You push back against fear. You allow yourself to be seen. We all experience defining moments that shape who we become. We all hurt. And hopefully, we all heal.This episode is for anyone who has been carrying something quietly, debating whether to finally say it. Maybe the words are scary. Maybe they’re vulnerable. But maybe saying them is exactly what you need to finally feel a little lighter, a little freer, and a little more like yourself.
Subscribe, rate, and leave a written review if you enjoy this conversation! Tune in every week for new episodes of I’ve Never Said This Before.
Executive Producers: iHeart Media and Elvis Duran Podcast Network
Producers: Andrew Pugliese, Stephanie Lane, Josh Kolodny
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, and today's topic is
these words can Set You Free. So this episode is
based off of why I started a show called I've
never said this before, and I haven't really talked about
this before, but I think this is something very applicable
to all of us really. So at the core of
(00:21):
this concept is we all have things that we bury deep.
I know you listening or thinking of some of those
things right now, right But why do we do that?
Why do we bury things so deeply? Maybe something's too
painful to relive, or maybe we feel like people might
look at us differently once we share the things that
we tucked away. I've asked myself, will i feel embarrassed
(00:42):
or will I feel like I'm coming across as a
victim when other people are going through things that I
perceive as so much worse? And the truth is, we
all feel naked and exposed sometimes when those things are
brought to the forefront, when something is brought to the
forefront that we don't want brought to the forefront, Or
worst of all, if we share that thing that we
tucked away, will we feel judged? So admittedly, all of
(01:04):
these thoughts have gone through my mind at various times
in my life when I wanted to share my secret
or something tucked away with somebody close to me. And
I know I'm not alone. I know you listening have
been there or felt this at the same time. So
a quick aside. A lot of people who know me
best say I'm a little intuitive, maybe even a little psychic.
I know you're probably like, oh God, please this guy,
(01:25):
trust me. I feel you. I'm the same way. And
while I absolutely believe there are some people out there
who have extraordinary abilities, I never considered myself one of them,
and I don't. But the truth really is that as
much as I roll my eyes and tease my family
and friends who say that, I do think there's something
in me that allows me to connect with people on
a deeply intuitive, almost spiritual kind of level the moment
(01:47):
we meet. I've always had a sense of empathy always,
and I can often tell what someone's thinking or feeling
before they ever say a word. Actually, once a friend
of mine sat down for a meal after not seeing
each other for about a year or so, and I
blurted out, you're pregnant, and it's just kind of like
a left my body. I didn't even mean to say that,
and her jaw dropped. She was literally just days pregnant,
(02:09):
like she just took the test. She wasn't someone trying
to get pregnant. She already has two kids. Happened a
little later in life, So it's not even like this
was something that was in the realm of possibilities, because
it wasn't something ever we discussed, and I just felt it.
And I can't explain how I knew that. I just
felt some sort of energy from her. So sometimes I guess, yeah,
I do have that intuition, and even I have this
(02:32):
strange ability to sense what a complete stranger is about
to say before they say it. So okay, maybe my
friends and family were onto something. But never has this
been more evident to me than when I started interviewing celebrities.
And while you see red carpets, you know, and the
stars walking on them, you might think they look lamorous.
The truth is the are some of the most anxiety
inducing environments for everyone. As a reporter, you have like
(02:52):
two minutes on a carpet. If you're lucky to capture
something that's compelling, memorable, headline making that can go viral.
I mean every question matters, every every single second matters,
which is so overwhelming. And then on the flip side,
ass the celebrity, you have those same two or three
minutes to come across as polished, intelligent, gracious, engaging. Right,
these press towards are everywhere now, so you have to
(03:14):
be prepared for anything that comes your way, answering questions
that shows off who you are, but also lets you
avoid any sort of SoundBite that can be controversial or
could get you canceled. It is a high pressure, high
pressure dance for everybody involved. We're all just trying to
get it right now. I've always treated people like human
beings on the carpet because guess what they are. They
(03:34):
are human beings. So my interview, my style has never
been about trying to get you or catched one off
guard to get that viral gotcha moment. No, that's trash,
and anyone that does that, like, shame on you. You shouldn't
be trying to get people. My work is about celebrating
their work and creating enough trust for a more personal
side of them to emerge the side that people don't
(03:54):
often get to see. Now. The challenge is that's incredibly
difficult to do on a ray carpet when you only
have a few minutes. Publicists are trying to whisk their
clients away before they're even finished answering your question because
they're running behind. You're surrounded by camera creuse, photographers, other reporters, bodyguards,
security producers, staff, screaming fans, all competing for the attention
(04:15):
of who you're talking to. Oh, and the temperature never
quite right. Either it's either stifling hot or it somehow
feels colder than the inside of a glacier. So there's
a lot to navigate, and you have to have a
completely different set of questions ready for every person walking
towards you. So your brain's going one hundred miles an hour. Yeah,
it's not as glamorous as one might think. I love it,
but it's not totally glamorous. But you know, through all
(04:38):
of this chaos, I would see a look in the
eyes of so many people I was interviewing, and it
was this a look that I can only describe as
it made me feel like they were secretly saying I'm
tired of answering the same question for the hundredth time today.
It's this look that made them feel like they were
longing to be anywhere but on that carpet where they
(04:58):
pretty much feel like a piece of art on display,
a look that made it seem like there was more
beneath the surface, and deep down I knew that more
was exactly why I started my show. I've never said
this before. Okay, so maybe this is where I do
sound a little witchy. But I can't tell you how
many red carpets I've walked away feeling like there was
an entirely different conversation waiting to happen. Well, that couldn't
(05:19):
happen because there wasn't enough time. Because on a red carpet,
it's like you're a bunch of robots on autopilot doing
what we need to do to get through a very
unnatural situation. So I decided to do the opposite. I
decided to create a space where people could slow down,
let their guard down, and simply be human again. So
I've never said this before. Is a safe place where
(05:41):
people can share things that they haven't said before, that
they can share words that can set them free. And
I've had people come on the show and share everything
from you, a prominent actress who's in her thirties who
hasn't found her partner yet revealed for the first time
she got her eggs frozen because she wants to be
a mom and doesn't know if she's going to do
(06:02):
that with a partner or not, but wants the option
and wants the opportunity to have children, and she's never
shared that before, and she wants to normalize getting your
eggs frozen as a single woman. I've had men come
on sharing they've had eating disorders, and men don't talk
about that ever, right, it's a wild thing. And then
the burden that feels lifted after they've said that. I've
had men come on talking about mental health issues and
(06:23):
struggles to the point where they were almost not here anymore,
and they wanted to share that so that people can
remember to lean on their brothers and have men in
their lives to uplift them and make them feel seen
and valued and like they should be here on this planet.
I've had people come out and share their sexuality. I mean,
the list goes on and on, And the point is,
you don't have to come on my show and share
(06:44):
something that personal. It's whatever you want to share, but
it just should be something that makes you feel like
you're putting goodness into the world, or a bit lighter
or a bit freer. And I think that's what I'm
really proud of, and I want to push all of
us to continue to do in our everyday life, is
say things that we haven't really said before for whatever reason,
whatever the fear may be right, because words really can
(07:05):
set you free, and you can feel less burdened by
all of that you truly, truly can. I think that
my hope for this Tommy talk today and for sharing
this today, is that no matter how successful someone may seem,
we all experience defining moments that shape who we become.
You know, we all hurt, We hopefully all heal. We
(07:26):
all carried outs and worries and fears and stories that
we've never really spoken out loud. I certainly have. I
certainly have. But I've also always believed that through honest
and open conversations, we really do have that power to
make each other feel a little less alone in an
increasingly complicated world. And I don't know, maybe this is corny,
(07:47):
but sometimes just knowing that someone you admire has walked
a path similar to yours can be life changing and
even life saving at times. So through you sharing something
that you've never said before, it can help a neighbor,
a friend, a family member, a colleague, anyone. As I'm
sure hearing things people have shared on their end has
sparked in ah in you or an awakening in you.
(08:10):
And that's what I love, is that it all kind
of goes towards the better good of humanity, where we
can help each other. We can help each other. How
beautiful is that, I don't know. I think it's beautiful,
I really do. And at the end of the day,
through saying things that we've never said before, through saying
words that can set us free, I think it's a
(08:31):
form of self love. I do, because we're loving ourselves
enough to give us a chance to release any sort
of burden or fear or trauma even that has stayed
with us for so long. And I truly believe that
self love, that act of self love, it opens a
door to a happier life and friendships and romantic relationships
in our careers, and our mental health and wellness journeys.
(08:53):
Even I mean, whatever you may be grappling with right now,
or not even grappling with, but whatever maybe makes you
feel on wordthy or unattractive or unlovable or undeserving. Fuck that,
Remove the un the un from your vocabulary. Remove it
right because your perspective just might begin to shift a
little bit. It's silly, it's a silly start, I know,
(09:14):
remove the UN. I'm not a guru, but it's just
it's so simple. But we all have to start somewhere,
silly or not. And I think that something I've had
to learn to do is give myself grace for the
journey I've been on. I beat myself up for many
years for not coming to terms with things that I
didn't want to say out loud. Don't do that. Don't
(09:34):
do that, Please don't, because here's the thing. I'm actually
grateful I went through those experiences because they've given me
a deeper appreciation for the person I've become. They remind
me now to never take for granted the very things
that make me who I am. And I have something
that I've never said before that I will share with
you in a future episode. Not today, because that's a
(09:55):
whole other episode. But there is something I haven't said before.
I mean, there's a lot of things haven't said before,
but one of them is pretty powerful and it's kind
of scary to say it in such a public way,
but I will and hold me to it, hold me
to it. So that's to come. But this is just
meant to start start generating your thoughts on something that
you want to release. And it can feel terrifying to
(10:18):
say something out loud that you've never said before, but
it can also feel like you're returning this this missing
puzzle piece to your soul, because once you say it,
you're kind of taking your power back. You're pushing back
against that sneaky little bitch called fear. She's such a bitch.
But I'm not going to sit here and tell you
fear is all bad because it's not. It's motivating me
throughout my life and fueled me to prove wrong the
(10:39):
things that was whispering in my ear. But there comes
a point where fear has served its purpose and it's
time to cut her loose so you can sort. So
there's a lot of goodness in saying something you've never
said before, because the words can set you free. And
that's why I love the concepts of the show and
bringing people on and letting them have that moment. And
(11:01):
I hope for them it's special and they remember it forever.
And I hope it encourages you to say something that
can set you free, because we all deserve to feel
a little lighter going through this journey of life. And
I think the bottom line is we all have things
that we do keep in and keep tucked away, and
the minute we can say them out loud, or face them,
or even say them to one person, that's all it means.
(11:22):
It means just saying it like it just saying it
to yourself, or saying it to a person, like putting
it out there, admitting it. It just creates a much
much more free future for yourself. And that's what I
want for everybody, because we all deserve that. There's one
life to live. It's a short life. Let's make it
the most. Let's not hold onto things. So I am
proud of you if you're thinking about sharing something you've
(11:43):
never said before, and I hope that you truly do
feel a little better in your journey of life and
a little lighter because we all deserve it. I've never
said this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Jadario. This
podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and
(12:05):
by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never
Said this Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast
Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe
to our show and if you liked this episode, tell
your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.
Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, and today's topic is
these words can Set You Free. So this episode is
based off of why I started a show called I've
never said this before, and I haven't really talked about
this before, but I think this is something very applicable
to all of us really. So at the core of
(00:21):
this concept is we all have things that we bury deep.
I know you listening or thinking of some of those
things right now, right But why do we do that?
Why do we bury things so deeply? Maybe something's too
painful to relive, or maybe we feel like people might
look at us differently once we share the things that
we tucked away. I've asked myself, will i feel embarrassed
(00:42):
or will I feel like I'm coming across as a
victim when other people are going through things that I
perceive as so much worse? And the truth is, we
all feel naked and exposed sometimes when those things are
brought to the forefront, when something is brought to the
forefront that we don't want brought to the forefront, Or
worst of all, if we share that thing that we
tucked away, will we feel judged? So admittedly, all of
(01:04):
these thoughts have gone through my mind at various times
in my life when I wanted to share my secret
or something tucked away with somebody close to me. And
I know I'm not alone. I know you listening have
been there or felt this at the same time. So
a quick aside. A lot of people who know me
best say I'm a little intuitive, maybe even a little psychic.
I know you're probably like, oh God, please this guy,
(01:25):
trust me. I feel you. I'm the same way. And
while I absolutely believe there are some people out there
who have extraordinary abilities, I never considered myself one of them,
and I don't. But the truth really is that as
much as I roll my eyes and tease my family
and friends who say that, I do think there's something
in me that allows me to connect with people on
a deeply intuitive, almost spiritual kind of level the moment
(01:47):
we meet. I've always had a sense of empathy always,
and I can often tell what someone's thinking or feeling
before they ever say a word. Actually, once a friend
of mine sat down for a meal after not seeing
each other for about a year or so, and I
blurted out, you're pregnant, and it's just kind of like
a left my body. I didn't even mean to say that,
and her jaw dropped. She was literally just days pregnant,
(02:09):
like she just took the test. She wasn't someone trying
to get pregnant. She already has two kids. Happened a
little later in life, So it's not even like this
was something that was in the realm of possibilities, because
it wasn't something ever we discussed, and I just felt it.
And I can't explain how I knew that. I just
felt some sort of energy from her. So sometimes I guess, yeah,
I do have that intuition, and even I have this
(02:32):
strange ability to sense what a complete stranger is about
to say before they say it. So okay, maybe my
friends and family were onto something. But never has this
been more evident to me than when I started interviewing celebrities.
And while you see red carpets, you know, and the
stars walking on them, you might think they look lamorous.
The truth is the are some of the most anxiety
inducing environments for everyone. As a reporter, you have like
(02:52):
two minutes on a carpet. If you're lucky to capture
something that's compelling, memorable, headline making that can go viral.
I mean every question matters, every every single second matters,
which is so overwhelming. And then on the flip side,
ass the celebrity, you have those same two or three
minutes to come across as polished, intelligent, gracious, engaging. Right,
these press towards are everywhere now, so you have to
(03:14):
be prepared for anything that comes your way, answering questions
that shows off who you are, but also lets you
avoid any sort of SoundBite that can be controversial or
could get you canceled. It is a high pressure, high
pressure dance for everybody involved. We're all just trying to
get it right now. I've always treated people like human
beings on the carpet because guess what they are. They
(03:34):
are human beings. So my interview, my style has never
been about trying to get you or catched one off
guard to get that viral gotcha moment. No, that's trash,
and anyone that does that, like, shame on you. You shouldn't
be trying to get people. My work is about celebrating
their work and creating enough trust for a more personal
side of them to emerge the side that people don't
(03:54):
often get to see. Now. The challenge is that's incredibly
difficult to do on a ray carpet when you only
have a few minutes. Publicists are trying to whisk their
clients away before they're even finished answering your question because
they're running behind. You're surrounded by camera creuse, photographers, other reporters, bodyguards,
security producers, staff, screaming fans, all competing for the attention
(04:15):
of who you're talking to. Oh, and the temperature never
quite right. Either it's either stifling hot or it somehow
feels colder than the inside of a glacier. So there's
a lot to navigate, and you have to have a
completely different set of questions ready for every person walking
towards you. So your brain's going one hundred miles an hour. Yeah,
it's not as glamorous as one might think. I love it,
but it's not totally glamorous. But you know, through all
(04:38):
of this chaos, I would see a look in the
eyes of so many people I was interviewing, and it
was this a look that I can only describe as
it made me feel like they were secretly saying I'm
tired of answering the same question for the hundredth time today.
It's this look that made them feel like they were
longing to be anywhere but on that carpet where they
(04:58):
pretty much feel like a piece of art on display,
a look that made it seem like there was more
beneath the surface, and deep down I knew that more
was exactly why I started my show. I've never said
this before. Okay, so maybe this is where I do
sound a little witchy. But I can't tell you how
many red carpets I've walked away feeling like there was
an entirely different conversation waiting to happen. Well, that couldn't
(05:19):
happen because there wasn't enough time. Because on a red carpet,
it's like you're a bunch of robots on autopilot doing
what we need to do to get through a very
unnatural situation. So I decided to do the opposite. I
decided to create a space where people could slow down,
let their guard down, and simply be human again. So
I've never said this before. Is a safe place where
(05:41):
people can share things that they haven't said before, that
they can share words that can set them free. And
I've had people come on the show and share everything
from you, a prominent actress who's in her thirties who
hasn't found her partner yet revealed for the first time
she got her eggs frozen because she wants to be
a mom and doesn't know if she's going to do
(06:02):
that with a partner or not, but wants the option
and wants the opportunity to have children, and she's never
shared that before, and she wants to normalize getting your
eggs frozen as a single woman. I've had men come
on sharing they've had eating disorders, and men don't talk
about that ever, right, it's a wild thing. And then
the burden that feels lifted after they've said that. I've
had men come on talking about mental health issues and
(06:23):
struggles to the point where they were almost not here anymore,
and they wanted to share that so that people can
remember to lean on their brothers and have men in
their lives to uplift them and make them feel seen
and valued and like they should be here on this planet.
I've had people come out and share their sexuality. I mean,
the list goes on and on, And the point is,
you don't have to come on my show and share
(06:44):
something that personal. It's whatever you want to share, but
it just should be something that makes you feel like
you're putting goodness into the world, or a bit lighter
or a bit freer. And I think that's what I'm
really proud of, and I want to push all of
us to continue to do in our everyday life, is
say things that we haven't really said before for whatever reason,
whatever the fear may be right, because words really can
(07:05):
set you free, and you can feel less burdened by
all of that you truly, truly can. I think that
my hope for this Tommy talk today and for sharing
this today, is that no matter how successful someone may seem,
we all experience defining moments that shape who we become.
You know, we all hurt, We hopefully all heal. We
(07:26):
all carried outs and worries and fears and stories that
we've never really spoken out loud. I certainly have. I
certainly have. But I've also always believed that through honest
and open conversations, we really do have that power to
make each other feel a little less alone in an
increasingly complicated world. And I don't know, maybe this is corny,
(07:47):
but sometimes just knowing that someone you admire has walked
a path similar to yours can be life changing and
even life saving at times. So through you sharing something
that you've never said before, it can help a neighbor,
a friend, a family member, a colleague, anyone. As I'm
sure hearing things people have shared on their end has
sparked in ah in you or an awakening in you.
(08:10):
And that's what I love, is that it all kind
of goes towards the better good of humanity, where we
can help each other. We can help each other. How
beautiful is that, I don't know. I think it's beautiful,
I really do. And at the end of the day,
through saying things that we've never said before, through saying
words that can set us free, I think it's a
(08:31):
form of self love. I do, because we're loving ourselves
enough to give us a chance to release any sort
of burden or fear or trauma even that has stayed
with us for so long. And I truly believe that
self love, that act of self love, it opens a
door to a happier life and friendships and romantic relationships
in our careers, and our mental health and wellness journeys.
(08:53):
Even I mean, whatever you may be grappling with right now,
or not even grappling with, but whatever maybe makes you
feel on wordthy or unattractive or unlovable or undeserving. Fuck that,
Remove the un the un from your vocabulary. Remove it
right because your perspective just might begin to shift a
little bit. It's silly, it's a silly start, I know,
(09:14):
remove the UN. I'm not a guru, but it's just
it's so simple. But we all have to start somewhere,
silly or not. And I think that something I've had
to learn to do is give myself grace for the
journey I've been on. I beat myself up for many
years for not coming to terms with things that I
didn't want to say out loud. Don't do that. Don't
(09:34):
do that, Please don't, because here's the thing. I'm actually
grateful I went through those experiences because they've given me
a deeper appreciation for the person I've become. They remind
me now to never take for granted the very things
that make me who I am. And I have something
that I've never said before that I will share with
you in a future episode. Not today, because that's a
(09:55):
whole other episode. But there is something I haven't said before.
I mean, there's a lot of things haven't said before,
but one of them is pretty powerful and it's kind
of scary to say it in such a public way,
but I will and hold me to it, hold me
to it. So that's to come. But this is just
meant to start start generating your thoughts on something that
you want to release. And it can feel terrifying to
(10:18):
say something out loud that you've never said before, but
it can also feel like you're returning this this missing
puzzle piece to your soul, because once you say it,
you're kind of taking your power back. You're pushing back
against that sneaky little bitch called fear. She's such a bitch.
But I'm not going to sit here and tell you
fear is all bad because it's not. It's motivating me
throughout my life and fueled me to prove wrong the
(10:39):
things that was whispering in my ear. But there comes
a point where fear has served its purpose and it's
time to cut her loose so you can sort. So
there's a lot of goodness in saying something you've never
said before, because the words can set you free. And
that's why I love the concepts of the show and
bringing people on and letting them have that moment. And
(11:01):
I hope for them it's special and they remember it forever.
And I hope it encourages you to say something that
can set you free, because we all deserve to feel
a little lighter going through this journey of life. And
I think the bottom line is we all have things
that we do keep in and keep tucked away, and
the minute we can say them out loud, or face them,
or even say them to one person, that's all it means.
(11:22):
It means just saying it like it just saying it
to yourself, or saying it to a person, like putting
it out there, admitting it. It just creates a much
much more free future for yourself. And that's what I
want for everybody, because we all deserve that. There's one
life to live. It's a short life. Let's make it
the most. Let's not hold onto things. So I am
proud of you if you're thinking about sharing something you've
(11:43):
never said before, and I hope that you truly do
feel a little better in your journey of life and
a little lighter because we all deserve it. I've never
said this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Jadario. This
podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and
(12:05):
by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never
Said this Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast
Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe
to our show and if you liked this episode, tell
your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.