This week, Tommy is joined by actress Tracy Spiridakos, who became a household name playing Detective Hailey Upton on Chicago P.D. Now, she’s trading the city for the wilderness, taking on the role of Anna Pigeon in USA Network’s Anna Pigeon, based on the bestselling novels. Anna is a law enforcement park ranger who solves dark mysteries and murders in the wilderness of Glacier National Park, all while trying to outrun her own past. Today, Tracy opens up about what she misses most about playing Hailey Upton, what she’s most proud of when it comes to the character, and the grieving process of saying goodbye to a role she loved so much. She reveals whether any of Hailey’s personality traits have stayed with her, if she was surprised that Hailey and Jay became one of the most beloved relationships in the One Chicago universe, and whether she would really do a spinoff with Jesse Lee Soffer. Tracy also shares why she knew she had to say yes to Anna Pigeon, what went into creating an entirely new character after playing Hailey for so long, and what she believes Anna is truly searching for in the wilderness. She opens up about how navigating her own grief helped her understand Anna on a deeper level, what her personal journey with grief has looked like, and the self-care practice that helped her through some incredibly stressful moments. Tracy also gets candid about rejection and why even the lowest moments of her career never made her want to quit acting. And don’t miss Tracy’s mini rapid-fire “Hot Takes & Hangouts” interview, dropping Thursday, August 13th!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before. It's
me your host, Tommy Di Dario, bringing you an all
new episode. And I'm so psyched because today's guest has
been a highly requested one. Actress, Tracy Spiridakos, is hanging
out with me. I know so many people have been
waiting for this episode because Tracy is beloved. She became
a household name through playing Detective Haley uped In on
(00:22):
Chicago Pad over the course of eight seasons, and Hailey
is a character that meant so much to so many
people in this franchise. She was part of one of
the most popular relationships aka ships in the entire One
Chicago universe. Shout out to all of my Upsett fans,
I see you. But now she has swapped in the
city for the wilderness and playing Anna and Anna Pigeon
on the USA Network. Now. The series is of course
(00:45):
based off of the best selling novels, and we get
to see Tracy shine in What I Think, well not
what I Think. What I Know is going to be
yet another fan favorite character and to part two of
this conversation will be dropping answering your burning fan questions.
This third stay August thirteenth, So make sure you are
subscribed to the podcast. Subscribe right now so you get
(01:05):
that alert when it drops. All right, we have a
lot to get to, so let's see if today we
can get Tracy to say something that she has never
said before. Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. I was just saying how
much I love your last name, Spiritaco. I say it
kind of with an Italian twang. It's not Italian, obviously,
(01:25):
it's Greek, but I love it so much much. It's
such a beautiful name. I am so happy you are here.
You are somebody who has been extremely requested to be
on my show, really like extremely requested to be on
my show. And I think I've been in touch with
your team for a while, like eight months now, and
we were like, we have to wait for the show
to come out when the time is right. But literally
people have been writing in saying please have her on.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Oh that's so nice.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, so it's really it's really a pleasure to have you.
Welcome to New York. Hope you've been enjoying the rainy
city a little bit.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, I love New York.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
You love New York.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, I always love coming here.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, would you like about it.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I don't know, just going around walking through the city,
like it's just it has its own heartbeat, you know,
its own vibe.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It's very special.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, well what also a specials. You have a new
show out and we're going to dive all into an
apigeon today. I'm so excited to talk to you about that.
It looks amazing. I was telling you every time I
met the gym, I look up and there you are, Like,
there's a promo for it. I see it non stop,
which is really cool.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Thankes, Thanks, Yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I'm really excited for it to be out there.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Well, let's talk about your journey a little bit. So
the world and I got to know you through Detective
Haley Upton, right and Chicago p D. Of course, it's
a beloved show, a beloved franchise. People love it so much.
What do you miss the most about playing here?
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I know it's going to be cliche to say it,
but we're a really tight knit group on that show.
I mean you're together for you know, nine months of
the year, so I've really missed the people, the crew,
the cast. It was just a really, really fun We
would laugh every day, teasing each other and had a
really great time. So the I say, the people and
(03:05):
then the city of Chicago. I'm not sure if you
spent much time there. Yeah, it's such a good city.
It's the food is amazing, it's great people. So I
just miss I missed the whole.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
What's this community? Yes, we'll go with community. Yeah, that's amazing.
I imagine when you are part of a project for
so long, it really does become like a family and
a home away from home. Yeah, which is really special.
And it seems like everyone had such a beautiful bond.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah, no, we did.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
It was it's a really and do still.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I mean I got to go do crossover episode over
there in February and see everybody again and was really
exciting to get to be back with the group again.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah. What do you when you think of your time
on the show and everything you've accomplished, what are you
the most proud of?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
For From when I was on PD, I think playing
this really complicated character is what. I really love playing
a female character like you know.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
That is well rounded. You know she has flaws and
we get to see that.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I love playing characters that have just there's there's so
much to her that we got to. Every episode we
would peel different layers of her that would that would
get to unravel, and so that was really it was
a really fun character to play.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, that's one of your gifts. You're really good at that.
I think we're we're definitely gonna see that. I'm sure,
and this the show coming up for for and a
Pigeon as well. Is there a grieving period when you
leave a role that you love so much?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
I mean for me, the aside from from obviously, as
I was saying, the cast and the crew, which was
really sad.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
There were tears for.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Sure when when I left, But I think I got
really you know, you get really the character that you're
playing is almost like your best friend. You know, you're
with them every day, and so saying goodbye to her
was was was sad, was was.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I definitely missed her.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
So getting to come back and do the crossover episode
and getting to kind of put that hat on again
and see where she was was really great.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I feel like that broke the internet. It literally broke
the internet. It was everywhere, it really was. But I'm
so fascinated by that. I think it's really courageous and
brave when you're part of something that is so successful,
and when you're literally at the top of your game,
to choose to step back and walk away, to do
something else and to see where that adventure takes you,
because not everybody would do that, it's scary.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yeah, yeah, I was scared.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I was scared to do it. I think.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
I was. I'm a very curious person and I really
wanted to know. I was curious what was out there
for me, and so yeah, it was hard. It was
a really hard decision to leave, especially just how much
I loved it, loved the character and everyone I was
working with, But I just needed to know what else.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Was out there.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Was there a moment for you where you knew you
made the right decision, where like after you did it
and you're on your new journey where you were like, Okay,
you know what, that was scary, but I didn't make
the right decision. Did you have that?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
You know, the right decision is a tricky word. I
feel like you're always going to miss that, and there's
always going to be a part of you that misses
that character and those people. But I felt like getting
Anna was definitely a moment where I was like, Okay,
this is a really fun adventure. This is a really
great character with really amazing people, and I'm really excited
(06:29):
to be doing it and be a part of it.
And so I think it was more of like everything's
going to be okay. You know, you've kind of landed
in this other group of amazing people that you love
and really love spending time with and working with and
making this really wonderful project. So yeah, I didn't say
getting Anna was.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
That moment well, because there's no guarantee, right, Like you
as an artist, you hope for the best and you
hope something like Anna comes up, but you just don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, And I mean I think a lot of people
don't really know as well. Like when you leave a show,
it's not always like it's it's not just like what's
you get a choice of what your next project is
going to be. That's not always the case, and so
sometimes there is and sometimes there isn't, and you kind
of just have to see where all the chips land.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, I think a lot of people assume if you're
coming off a hot show and you're a main character,
you leave and go on to something else, and you
have a pile of offers just waiting, and you're like,
which one do I want?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
What I want to do today?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Exactly? Like which one? No? No, no, no, no, like,
but that's just not the reality.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, exactly, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I imagine that's a bit of a mind you know what,
when you're sorting through the next days of your career, like,
oh my god, am I going to be okay?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah? That's part of the scare of leaving, right, is
that there's also I mean, aside from loving everyone and
loving the character, there's also this kind of taking a
big step into the unknown and not knowing for as
an actor, you might not work for years. You might
might be three four years until the right project comes
that's right for you. So and that's perfectly normal. There's
there's you know, it just kind of is part of
(07:57):
the industry.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And so that was part of the.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Scary thing of leaving a steady job that you also
love everyone that you work with, and that is a
rarity too, right to like really get on with everybody
and enjoy your time there and it's steady, and you
know that it was a little nerve wracking, but.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You're doing just fine. Clearly by me seeing you all
over my gym, you're doing just fine. Are there any
Are there any personality traits of Haley's that have stayed
with you in your day to day life? Uh?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
In my day to day life.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't know about my day to day life.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I mean, she was very intense person and and you know,
I think I can be very protective over people that
I love, so I guess that probably would come in
if that needed to.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But I don't know that I carried she.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
She just had this level of intensity to her that
I think I don't I don't think I bring with
her on a day to day For sure.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
She's more deep inside with me.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I would say Anna and I are more I have
probably more similarities on a day to day with Anna
than I did with Haley.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah. That's intense energy to carry around. Yeah, four. Yeah,
I imagine some days you would go home and we're like,
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
But I mean, honestly, when we when we were filming
on PD, a lot of in between, like as soon
as they'd yell cut, we were peasing each other and
tripping each other and playing pranks on each other and
you know.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
You're not method.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I'm not method. No, I am the first person to
laugh in any scenario, which is probably not good to
say out loud.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, it's probably I mean very healthy for you. Actually
like to not live in that space all the time.
Method scares me a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I mean, I guess, yeah, And to each their own.
For me, I still can't believe. I mean that I
get to do this job for a living, you know, truly,
And so whenever I'm on set and I yell cut
and then you know those cameras and everyone's doing their thing.
You see people coming out of the raptors fixing their
whatever they're tweaking, and You're like, this is the coolest thing.
(10:08):
And I get paid to do this job.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
So I don't take it all very too seriously unless
I have to be somewhere for like a scene that's
emotional and I have to go sit in a corner
and be in my feelings.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
But for the most part, I just try to have
fun and enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah. Well, it's probably part of the magic you bring,
and that's why it's still is so exciting and fresh
for you, And you know, it really does show through
your work to kind of put a pin in this
portion of the conversation. Did it surprise you that Haley
and Jay became one of the biggest, most beloved relationships
in the entire you know, one Chicago franchise.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Yeah, I mean, it's such an honor to have fans
were so behind the two of us, and it was, Yeah,
it's amazing. The fans on the Chicago fans are incredible,
really an incredible fan base.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So I was really touched.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
And I remember when when Jay left and I tweeted
Upstead Forever and people.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Were like upside wherever I was. I wouldn't mean to.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
I was just like, you know, by Jesse and and
made that hashtag and people were really uh uh into that.
So yeah, it's really I feel really touched that people
like their characters so much.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I feel like from that moment forward, you launched all
of the online rumors about a spinoff. One day, people like,
does that mean it's happening? Is she dropping a hint
to it? This is a code? It was like Taylor
Swift level decoding. It's like, what does that mean? And
obviously you're so busy now with an a pigeon and
that's hopefully we'll go on for a million seasons. But
if the time is right one day, is that something
(11:42):
you would entertain?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Oh my god, Yeah, that'd be amazing, that would be fun.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, upset forever. Yeah, Well you swapped now city life
for do we say country life? Wilderness life? Wilderness life? Yeah,
wilderness life. So what made you say, Okay, you know what,
this is the right project? Anna Pigeons my girl. I
want to play her. I want to dive in.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I read the pilot, so I wasn't familiar with the books.
When this landed landed on my lap, it was my
rep sent me the script to read, and I just
fell in love with Anna. I thought she was again complicated.
As we had said before about Hailey, she's this really interesting, complicated.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Character who's grieving and.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Is really trying to figure out who she is in
this new stage of her life after going through this
really horrible loss. But in that grief, she also is
really curious and really she's really impulsive and acts on
emotion and all these things that were very different from
from Hailey, very different from who I had played before.
(12:47):
Hailey was very controlled, suppressed her emotions whereas Anna lives
very outwardly and I read the pilot and just absolutely
fell in love with her, and so I was an
instant Yes, I would love to be a part of this.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
And then that was it for me.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Did you have an audition process? So they were like,
we love you, please play this role.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
It was a meeting.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I had a meeting with Leah and more Win and
I think they had I'm sure they had meetings with
other people as well, but yeah, and then here we are.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
So you're a full on park ranger. Yeah. Did you
have to do any special training?
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Not a ton of special training for the tactical portion
of being a park ranger, but I did have to
learn how to ride a horse.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
That was really fun.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, it was probably one of my favorite parts.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yeah, I mean I love animals in nature and so
I was all in for all of this. But I
had when I first got the job, I flew out
a few, like about a week early, and then we
were growing horseback riding and our trainers were really wonderful
and took their time to make sure that I felt comfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But I fell in love.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I've I've I'm.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Sure people have heard me talk about my horse before.
But his name is Joker, and I.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Love him and I miss him, and I I just
got right into I actually felt I wanted. When we
finished filming, I was like, I want a horse.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I need to move, I need to get horses like
I need to facilitate.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
This in my day to day life.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
So that was a big part of the training was
horseback riding.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I would say. Everything else we kind of figured out
as we went.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Did you get a horse?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I just I did not get a horse.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
It turns out it's a little more involved than I
had imagined before.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
There's not a horse roaming around your yard.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Oh I wish, I really wish it may happen.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Q you moving to like Montana and buying a horse?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I love?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, being in nature. I would love to have a farm.
There's something.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Oh, I would love a chicken. I'm not sure I
want them waking me up every morning, but I love
a good chicken. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I needed a couple.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You can, well, that's true. You need like a coop coop?
Is that what you say? Coop?
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I think they hang out in a coop.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
That they look I'm so farm like. I'm like city's
gone country. Now let's go get a chicken coop. Yeah,
it's great. I would love to grow my own food too.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I don't know what I'm eating half the time. You
never know, right, there you go.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I mean you could do that, now, don't.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Get I will talk about this for half an hour.
Do not get me on this tangent. But yet I
wish I could not. In the city, you can have
like a garden, you can do like mini you.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Could do like in the apartment garden.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Then you're gonna get nats.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
That's true. They have things for that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I have a few hang ups. If you can't tell
I'm Italian, it happens, you know, so. But anyway, I digress.
I love that about horses. I think that. I I agree,
like I ride when I go on vacation. I try to. Yeah,
And I think it's the most magical thing and just
beyond the oars and to feel that, and I imagine
it helps you get into character too, obviously.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, Yeah, it's like a whole other thing.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I think it's something because it's something that I don't
do normally on my day to day, so it very
much feels a part of that one.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, you know what I mean, But that's so cool.
That's so cool. So coming off of playing Haley and
now playing Anna as an actress, are there things that
you have to do to like shake off your prior
character to make sure that character doesn't like sneak into
this performance. You have to draw boundaries? What is that process?
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, I mean I think that there is a little
bit of I think the biggest thing for me was
there's a you know, a couple of moments in Ann
a pigeon where I have to go into a house
and clear clear the house. We call it when you're
like coming in and you think there may be an
offender in there. And for me playing Haley, I mean
we would do that every episode, every day. It's very
(16:29):
very comfortable with that. But Anna doesn't do that very often.
So I think that was a little bit of like
unknowing what I'm like on learning what I knew and
playing not being necessarily so comfortable with the process. Maybe
she's a little nervous. You know, Hailey would kick in
the door, would Anna would?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Would she? She would?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
But you know, would she proceed with a different level
of caution? And so that was an interesting exploration of
finding the differences between the two of them, particularly when
it came to the tactical stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
That's so interesting, and to be conscious of that too,
like deciding, Okay, I might be tempted to do one thing,
but maybe I should do it a different way to
make that distinction.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah, I mean, I think taking taking back a little bit.
They are different and the training is different for a
park ranger in a.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
City police officer.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
There's base that they both go through basic training, but
then you kind of go in different directions for the
rest of the training. And so I just wanted to
make sure that I was, you know, making sure I
was honoring park ranger training and honoring their their story
and their journey.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
So beyond solving cases, what do you think it is
that Anna's really searching for out there in the national parks.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
I think she is trying to get away. I don't
know that she's I think she's probably searching for peace
above all things. But the reason that she leaves and goes,
like leaves the city to go is she just can't.
She doesn't want to be around people, she doesn't want
to be around anybody. She just wants to kind of
hide from the world, and she finds herself connecting with
(18:06):
people and having these relationships that are affecting her more
than she'd like for them to be. You know, I
think she just wants to shut down and shut everybody out,
and she's finding herself growing and evolving through these other
people around her that are having this effect on her.
But I think overall, she's just trying to find out
who she is again now after this loss happens for her,
(18:29):
that she just is a bit she's lost.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Well, it's hard. It's hard to find your footing when
you're navigating loss, you know, and when you're grieving or
trying to figure out what your new normal is after
going through something like that. It's not easy. Were you
able to bring anything from your life to that role,
because that's pretty that's a hard thing to tap into
unless you've been through it.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Yeah, I've lost a few people very dear to me,
my dad being one of them, and so yeah, thanks. Yeah,
and he never really close as well, not that that
makes a difference, but we would talk every day, and
so I think I think that that was easy for
me to understand the grief process.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But I think what I also found really interesting.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
What I loved about more wins writing and all of
our writers. But Morwen's vision of this series is that
I don't know for me, particularly how I went through
my grief was it's not just one noted. It wasn't
just I'm sad now. There was moments you kind of
ebb and flow. I feel like anybody that's been through grief,
you have moments where you kind of forget, forget about
(19:35):
the sadness for a second, but then you feel guilty
that you forgot about the sadness.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You feel like you should feel like.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Can I say shit?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
You can? You can? I because I just did, by
the way, I was gonna say fuck earlier. But you
strike me as someone so classy that I felt disrespectful
saying that in front of you. So I'm like, I
don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Please so yes, you can say whatever you want, all right, no, no,
and please swear away. But yeah, I mean, I felt
like that was an interesting portrayal of that Anna was
going through because I felt like I related to that
a lot in that you're not always in a bad headspace.
Sometimes you come out of it and you have a
(20:19):
laugh and you forget and then you come back and
you remember, and the for me, at least, when it
first happened, there was an intense sadness, and then as
the years went on, it changes and I can still
I mean, I could cry about it today and it's
been in thirteen years, but I also can talk about
it and not and it evolves over time. And I
(20:40):
think that's what I really liked about Anna. She has
moments where she's a little she's funny, she's sarcastic, and
she's grieving and sad and going through the motion of it,
all the motions of it all, and so.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
I like that. I like the whole, well roundedness of
her well and.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It's so human, right, Like you said, grief isn't is
it one thing. There's all highs and lows and everything
in between, and that's just life, right, And I imagine
playing a character like this in some ways seeing her
go through it. I don't know, does it kind of
help you on your journey even though it was thirteen years,
does it still help you in a weird way?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
I mean, I don't know. I'm in such a different
place with it all now, but I think, no matter what,
you're kind of continuing to EBB and flow through it.
I think where I am with that now is I
like to talk about my dad a lot. I bring
him up all the time. And even though sometimes people
get uncomfortable because they're like, oh, people are really uncomfortable
(21:40):
talking about death or lost because they're.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Like, god, what if she cries?
Speaker 4 (21:44):
And it can make people uncomfortable, I don't care, you know.
I think that I will keep my dad alive in
my conversations with people because that's what makes me happy
and I want to keep him here. And I think
that that was something that the character does as well
as he's he's her own, but she talks about it
about her ex husband through her Actually my phone doesn't
(22:08):
all have.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
To say that.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
She talks about her grief but through with her sister.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Wow. Yeah, so let's keep him alive for a second.
Would he love this show?
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Yeah, my dad would like this show. He would like
he was very outdoorsy, so he would love that. He
would have and like, you know, all the action and
stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
He for sure he would have loved it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
That's so cool. Yeah, that's so cool. And I really
I always like talking to people about this. I'm not
one of those people that finds it weird or I
don't know. I think we all go through it, and
I think it's interesting to hear how other people function
and navigate through grief and through that journey, and to
see characters on TV going through that and to see
the humans playing them going through it in real life, right,
Because sometimes I feel like there's this misconception about artists
(22:49):
or actors or whoever, that everything's always great, and like, right,
that's just not true. Your people who go through what
everyone else goes through totally and it's.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Hard, totally totally, And I think that getting to tell
those stories on you know, through through film and TV
is a great honor getting to it's like the human
in us all going through loss and you know, figuring
it all out together.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
M okay, so how can we all watch it?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Watch Anna and a Pigeon USA out on Friday.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Oh wait, this is airing?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
It will be out now?
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Yeah now Friday's ten o'clock USA.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I love a good old fashioned episode dropping once a week.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I like that. Yeah, build community makes you excited for
something like, oh, I can't wait for Friday to watch it. Yeah, yeah,
that's really really cool. I look at you, and I'm like, Wow,
you've done so much in your career that people artists, actors,
aspiring actors dream of, right, like to come off of
a huge hit show and everything you've done prior to that,
so now like leading another show of your own like
(23:53):
you are the name of the show is pretty remarkable.
I mean, have you always felt like your road will
lead you to here?
Speaker 3 (24:03):
No?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
No, really no, I mean I think I just had
a big dream.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
And I remember.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I used to have I worked in a bank and
I was a bank teller, and I was bartending at night,
and I had another job where I was serving at
the other restaurant, so I had three jobs.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
And I remember just being like, oh god, I really
just want.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
To just act, like that's all I want. I just
want acting to be my main, my only source of income,
and not needing to do all these other jobs. And
because I would go work on do a little job
and then have to come back and and I was
really fortunate that the bank would take me back time.
So I think that this is just like I'm I
(24:47):
can't believe that I'm here, and I'm very grateful to
be here, and I don't take.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
It for granted.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Did you ever want to quit acting? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
No, never, Wow, No, I love it fair. I feel
very lucky. I mean, I get I there's I get
to do what I what I love. I get to
tell stories for a living.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
But before you were doing this on such a grand level,
when you were pursuing it still, no, you never were like,
you know what I'm I'm not getting the job I want.
I'm not getting that audition. Maybe I don't want to
do it.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
I have a very.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
I'm very fortunate for this.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I have a very positive point of view with most things.
And so if I got an audition, and you know,
the feedback was especially you know, getting to go into
a room and reading with the cast director and then
the feeding the feedback was we love her. You know,
she's not necessarily right for the for the role, but
we thought she did a good job. For me, it
was I would interpret it as though I booked it.
(25:43):
So I'd be like, Okay, that's a win. I felt
like I succeeded, and so I would take the little
wins and that would be my fuel and just be like, Okay,
I'm going in the right direction.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
If they if they liked it, or I made it to.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
You know it was between me and a handful of
other people. Okay, that feels like a win if I
book get even better. But if I don't, at least
I made it there, which means that they think I
can do the job. And it comes down to you know,
my interpretation of this character or my look or whatever that.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Maybe they didn't see was right.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
But but if if they think I can do it
and they think I'm a good actor, then I'm on
the right I'm on the right path. So I would
kind of take the little bits of things that would
come up and try to use that as my food.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
That's very glass half full.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Yeah, I've a very Yeah, it's almost a sickness.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Though, Yeah, very good.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Yeah, how did you get like that?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I've just always I've always had a pretty good, uh
positive outlook on things. So I'm very fortunate for that,
I think, because I don't, I mean, I get down.
If we all get down, if there's something you really want,
the part you really want and it doesn't end up
working out, you know, I'll get bummed by it.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
But uh, but then you just pick it up and
keep going.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah, and you've always kept going. Clearly, you never let
this industry, as hard as it may have been, stop you.
You're like, I'm I'm going to get there.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
I'm going to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, I mean I had my moments.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
I used to do this thing during pilot season where
I would book a trip at the end of pilot
season because I love traveling, and so if I booked
a job, then I would get to work and that
was great, a great reason to cancel my trip. And
if I didn't book anything, then I would get.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
To go on this really great trip, and.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So it was a win win as like a congrats
to you for nailing pilot season.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, like you did good. You did good, Rock, Go
enjoy your life and go have a little trip.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh my god, I love that. Yeah, that is like
the best self care ever. Like, yes, celebrating the wins,
even if it's not exactly the outcome you want, but
celebrating the job you did. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Also just having something to look forward to.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I love a travel adventure, so getting to go do whatever,
like even whatever it could be within my budget, even
if it was you know, when I was in Canada
at the time, it'd be like Okay, I want to
go camping at this place, or I want to go
whatever the thing may be.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's so cool. So from being that girl who was
working at the bank and doing three jobs to being
where you are today, how has your death definition of
success changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
You know, I gotta tell you, I'm still I mean,
I have a lot of goals and things that I
would love to get to do in my career. But
I still feel like I'm winning if I can just
only do this as my main source of income. Yeah,
that I still feel like I'm like, Okay, this is
this is what you wanted, and you're here and you're
you're getting to do it and doing it with projects
(28:26):
that I love on top of that feels like icing
on that cake.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So I still feel that way.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
And I have things that i'd love to to do,
and you know, other projects that I would love to
you know, play in different characters and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
But but I as far as success goes, I feel
I feel.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
That I that I am comfortable that I've made it
here and as a lot of I can stay here,
then I feel good.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
So it seems like success is very much doing work
that you love. Yeah, you know, and that's how I
think it's a very healthy way to measure it. It's
not like on a monetary value. It's not on like
you said, you have goals, but you wake up every
day and you do something you love. Yeah, that's amazing,
That's truly amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I think a lot of people also hearing this conversation
and looking at your trajectory might fall into the trap.
And I say trap because it is of thinking, oh,
Tracy's never had to deal with rejection, like everything seems
to just happen so easily, hit show, leading a show.
But I imagine you faced rejection over the course of
(29:31):
your career.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Yes, absolutely, I think every reactor has rejection. But yeah,
I mean I remember after Revolution got canceled, I don't think.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I worked for a while. I think it was like
a good couple of years where I think I had.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Maybe booked a couple of pilots that didn't go, a
pilot or something that didn't go.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
But I wasn't doing much.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
I was I didn't have any money, was trying to
figure I remember even before that, living in Vancouver, when
I was serving in bartending, I went to go buy
this is probably an overshare I went to go buy
some tampons and my credit card bounced. I was like
for five dollars.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
So I was like, oh God, and I.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Had to go ask my roommate to borrow until I
could get some like I worked and had my tips
and then could pay her back. So yeah, I mean,
you know, but that's part of this journey for me
at least anyways. But yeah, there's rejection in our industry
for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Well, and I think in a lot of industries right
So for anyone listening who is facing that right now
or going through it, what would you say to them,
like to keep going?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I think.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Just believe in yourself and do what makes you feel good.
Find your food, whatever that may be. You know, for me,
I would find these little pieces where I'd feel like
I was going in the right direction, and I would say,
find what fuels you and then just keep going after it.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I had a teacher tell me once where he was like,
if you're not getting these roles that you want, you know,
write something and give yourself that role or try to create,
you know, find your avenue into how.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
You want to be a part of this industry and
what that is for you.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
So whether it's this industry or whatever it is that
you're passionate about, go after it with everything that you've got.
I think for me, the one thing I didn't want
to do is you get get to being, you know,
in my eighties and be like, man, I really wish I.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Had given it my all. That's what I never wanted.
And so just give it, give it what you got,
give it, give it your all, and see where.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
It all lands.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
You're somebody who definitely definitely doesn't live with regret.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I feel like, no, I don't, Yeah, no, because I
think even anything that you do and my dad, this
was actually my dad's saying that you can't regret the
things you've done.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
You can only regret the things you haven't.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
So go after whatever it is and you'll learn from it,
whatever it is, and if it's if it's a you know,
some not the outcome that you want or whatever, you'll
grow from that. You'll pick that up and you'll it's
all information and you'll grow into being a different person
because of that.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
So it take it all as a win.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Good advice from dad, Yeah, good advice is good for
those yeah good ones.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I love those little nuggets of yeah well, I could
go on and on. This is such a great conversation,
and I love seeing I love seeing different sides to
the artists behind the fan favorite roles because I think
it's not always something you guys get to do. Yeah,
and a lot of interviews on our business are so
(32:49):
quick and yeah, and I work on a show called
Extra and do a lot of our carpet work too,
and you know, I would leave those jobs feeling I
shouldn't say that this if my boss is listening. Love
you guys, but just sometimes not totally satisfied because I
feel like it was such a quick conversation. It's just
two and a half minute with somebody on a carpet,
and you have like certain bites you want to get
(33:10):
about the project in this and you answer the same
thing over and over again, and we all kind of
leave those carpets being like what just happened?
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Like what was that?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Right? It was just crazy?
Speaker 4 (33:20):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I started seeing like a little something in the eyes
of people that I would talk to, like they wanted
another minute to say something right, or they didn't have
the chance to say something. So that's how I came
up with this show. I've never said this before. To
give people the chance to come on and say something
that means something to them, whatever it means. There's no prompt,
it's just whatever that means. I always end the interview
with what is something you've never said before that you
(33:43):
want to share today?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
You know, I've I think talk about like rejection stuff.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
When I was I think it was about seventeen, I
had won this modeling contest. I don't think I've ever
told the story, but I had won this modeling contest
and I went to the modeling agency. One of my
brothers took me, and I got there when they gave
me a bikini and told me to put the bikini
on and they were going to take some pictures. So
(34:16):
I went and put the bikini on. I came out
and they took polaroid pictures of me and then laid
them out in front of me and took a sharpie
and circled all my body flaws with a sharpie and
laid them out and they said you have to lose
weight here, here, and here if you want to do this.
And I remember being I mean, I was like kind
of deflated, you know, and I didn't really know what
(34:36):
to say, and my brother was very protective.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Both my brothers are very protective.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
So my brother got defensive and he was like, you
guys brought her out here. You told her she won
this contest, and now you're telling her that she needs
to lose weight. And they said, you know, look, she's
pretty for guy meets girl kind of pretty, but if
she wants to make it in this industry, she's got
to lose weight. And I remember just being really it
(35:02):
was like a gut punch because I was so excited
I had won this contest and they wanted to take
me out to Milan to do this modeling stuff. And
they were a pretty big agency. Gosh, I can't even
remember the name of them now, but they were a
big agency.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Anyway.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I remember my brother and I walking out and I
had kind of was like hanging my head low, and
he put his arm around me.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
He was like, do you want to go get some
a and w in a case of beer? It's like
I do, I do?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
And we went and we sat in like our like little.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Moell motel that we had and had a beer and
some burgers and he was like, you're not modeling anymore.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
I'm telling mom you're done.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
And yeah, so that was like the you know, and
it's it's funny because like those places on my body
that they circled now, even now and it's been a
long time, and I still see those things in the
mirror and I see those flaws like they even though
they're not flaws, but they're like it's cause you're such
a young age, so impressionable at seventeen. So yeah, I mean,
(36:03):
you know, you just gotta they stand and I have
to like tell myself that that is not real and
to just love yourself and not to not care. And
so but that was, Yeah, that's my little story that
I've never shared. And don't don't let anyone tell you
how to live in your own body.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Isn't that amazing? That's something that happened that long ago
at seventeen. That was like a little literally like a
blimp in the story of your life. Still not affects you,
but you still think about it to this day sometimes
when you see yourself, Yeah, isn't that amazing.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
It's like a it's like a core memory inserted, but
like a negative core memory and start you know where
you're like.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Ooh, that was a hard one, right, yeah, and prior
to that, did you ever think twice about how you look? No?
Isn't that amazing? I never cared that predominantly, mostly I
assume men, we're telling you how you should feel about
your body. It makes me enraged, enraged. I'm like a
huge proponent to this day. I've had some friends in
(37:06):
the spotlight who have been ripped apart for their bodies
and it makes me enraged, Like I am the person
that will go online and hate tweet to people saying that,
and my agent's like, let's not do that, and I'm like,
oh my god, I just I can't. Like, I hate
when people talk about other people's bodies so much, and
this is a great example why So I hope this
story also reminds people listening to be kinder when it
(37:29):
comes to people's bodies. There's people online right now who
are in the spotlight and their bodies are being critiqued singers,
and I'm seeing it every day and it's like, no
one knows the real story. Maybe we just don't talk
about it.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Yeah, let everybody, yeah their own life.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, Oh you spark something in me now, I'm like,
give me the names of those people, because I want
to go back. Also because I have a I got
my start in the business as a Ford model, and
I've dealt with some of that too, and it's just
like why why yeah, why?
Speaker 4 (37:56):
And I was so lucky that I had my brother
there with me, Thank God, who was like, you know,
like this reaction is good.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Let's go get some beer and some burns.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Like yeah, okay, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Uh but yeah I don't know.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Yeah, you gotta not not not let anyone tell you
how you should or shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Yeah, well I hope. I hope today you feel very
good about yourself. Yeah good, yeah, good, good, like you
know it is what it is good and shout out
to your brother.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Also another very classy response. I feel like I would
have been like, oh, I'm going in there and decking
the guns. Yeah, like very classier response.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Both of my brothers are amazing. I have two older brothers.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I'm very lucky.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
I love that. Yeah, I love that. Well. I hope
they're also very proud of watching you and ann A
pigeon because we are all so excited for it. I
cannot wait. I like, usually I get to screen something
ahead of time, and I was saying you. I didn't
get to do that with this one, so I'm like,
I'm dying to see episode one. I can't wait for it.
So everybody, it's out now, go watch it, Go watch it,
(38:55):
and then can you only watch it on Friday nights?
Can you stream it anywhere?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
I don't know if they're streaming anywhere.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Yeah, I'm sure there will be at some point, but
DVR at this point, Dr.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Usa Usa, Thank you so much for hanging out. You
are lovely. I really really appreciate it. For everybody listening,
we are doing another episode called Hot Takes and Hangouts,
so make sure you listen to that on Thursday when
it's dropping. Thank you, my friend, Thank you. I've Never
Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario. This
(39:26):
podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and
by me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never
Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast
Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and subscribe
to our show and if you liked this episode, tell
your friends. Until next time. I'm Tommy de Dario
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before. It's
me your host, Tommy Di Dario, bringing you an all
new episode. And I'm so psyched because today's guest has
been a highly requested one. Actress, Tracy Spiridakos, is hanging
out with me. I know so many people have been
waiting for this episode because Tracy is beloved. She became
a household name through playing Detective Haley uped In on
(00:22):
Chicago Pad over the course of eight seasons, and Hailey
is a character that meant so much to so many
people in this franchise. She was part of one of
the most popular relationships aka ships in the entire One
Chicago universe. Shout out to all of my Upsett fans,
I see you. But now she has swapped in the
city for the wilderness and playing Anna and Anna Pigeon
on the USA Network. Now. The series is of course
(00:45):
based off of the best selling novels, and we get
to see Tracy shine in What I Think, well not
what I Think. What I Know is going to be
yet another fan favorite character and to part two of
this conversation will be dropping answering your burning fan questions.
This third stay August thirteenth, So make sure you are
subscribed to the podcast. Subscribe right now so you get
(01:05):
that alert when it drops. All right, we have a
lot to get to, so let's see if today we
can get Tracy to say something that she has never
said before. Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. I was just saying how
much I love your last name, Spiritaco. I say it
kind of with an Italian twang. It's not Italian, obviously,
(01:25):
it's Greek, but I love it so much much. It's
such a beautiful name. I am so happy you are here.
You are somebody who has been extremely requested to be
on my show, really like extremely requested to be on
my show. And I think I've been in touch with
your team for a while, like eight months now, and
we were like, we have to wait for the show
to come out when the time is right. But literally
people have been writing in saying please have her on.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Oh that's so nice.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, so it's really it's really a pleasure to have you.
Welcome to New York. Hope you've been enjoying the rainy
city a little bit.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, I love New York.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
You love New York.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, I always love coming here.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, would you like about it.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I don't know, just going around walking through the city,
like it's just it has its own heartbeat, you know,
its own vibe.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It's very special.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, well what also a specials. You have a new
show out and we're going to dive all into an
apigeon today. I'm so excited to talk to you about that.
It looks amazing. I was telling you every time I
met the gym, I look up and there you are, Like,
there's a promo for it. I see it non stop,
which is really cool.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Thankes, Thanks, Yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I'm really excited for it to be out there.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Well, let's talk about your journey a little bit. So
the world and I got to know you through Detective
Haley Upton, right and Chicago p D. Of course, it's
a beloved show, a beloved franchise. People love it so much.
What do you miss the most about playing here?
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I know it's going to be cliche to say it,
but we're a really tight knit group on that show.
I mean you're together for you know, nine months of
the year, so I've really missed the people, the crew,
the cast. It was just a really, really fun We
would laugh every day, teasing each other and had a
really great time. So the I say, the people and
(03:05):
then the city of Chicago. I'm not sure if you
spent much time there. Yeah, it's such a good city.
It's the food is amazing, it's great people. So I
just miss I missed the whole.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
What's this community? Yes, we'll go with community. Yeah, that's amazing.
I imagine when you are part of a project for
so long, it really does become like a family and
a home away from home. Yeah, which is really special.
And it seems like everyone had such a beautiful bond.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah, no, we did.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
It was it's a really and do still.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I mean I got to go do crossover episode over
there in February and see everybody again and was really
exciting to get to be back with the group again.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah. What do you when you think of your time
on the show and everything you've accomplished, what are you
the most proud of?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
For From when I was on PD, I think playing
this really complicated character is what. I really love playing
a female character like you know.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
That is well rounded. You know she has flaws and
we get to see that.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I love playing characters that have just there's there's so
much to her that we got to. Every episode we
would peel different layers of her that would that would
get to unravel, and so that was really it was
a really fun character to play.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, that's one of your gifts. You're really good at that.
I think we're we're definitely gonna see that. I'm sure,
and this the show coming up for for and a
Pigeon as well. Is there a grieving period when you
leave a role that you love so much?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
I mean for me, the aside from from obviously, as
I was saying, the cast and the crew, which was
really sad.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
There were tears for.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Sure when when I left, But I think I got
really you know, you get really the character that you're
playing is almost like your best friend. You know, you're
with them every day, and so saying goodbye to her
was was was sad, was was.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I definitely missed her.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
So getting to come back and do the crossover episode
and getting to kind of put that hat on again
and see where she was was really great.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I feel like that broke the internet. It literally broke
the internet. It was everywhere, it really was. But I'm
so fascinated by that. I think it's really courageous and
brave when you're part of something that is so successful,
and when you're literally at the top of your game,
to choose to step back and walk away, to do
something else and to see where that adventure takes you,
because not everybody would do that, it's scary.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yeah, yeah, I was scared.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I was scared to do it. I think.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
I was. I'm a very curious person and I really
wanted to know. I was curious what was out there
for me, and so yeah, it was hard. It was
a really hard decision to leave, especially just how much
I loved it, loved the character and everyone I was
working with, But I just needed to know what else.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Was out there.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Was there a moment for you where you knew you
made the right decision, where like after you did it
and you're on your new journey where you were like, Okay,
you know what, that was scary, but I didn't make
the right decision. Did you have that?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
You know, the right decision is a tricky word. I
feel like you're always going to miss that, and there's
always going to be a part of you that misses
that character and those people. But I felt like getting
Anna was definitely a moment where I was like, Okay,
this is a really fun adventure. This is a really
great character with really amazing people, and I'm really excited
(06:29):
to be doing it and be a part of it.
And so I think it was more of like everything's
going to be okay. You know, you've kind of landed
in this other group of amazing people that you love
and really love spending time with and working with and
making this really wonderful project. So yeah, I didn't say
getting Anna was.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
That moment well, because there's no guarantee, right, Like you
as an artist, you hope for the best and you
hope something like Anna comes up, but you just don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, And I mean I think a lot of people
don't really know as well. Like when you leave a show,
it's not always like it's it's not just like what's
you get a choice of what your next project is
going to be. That's not always the case, and so
sometimes there is and sometimes there isn't, and you kind
of just have to see where all the chips land.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, I think a lot of people assume if you're
coming off a hot show and you're a main character,
you leave and go on to something else, and you
have a pile of offers just waiting, and you're like,
which one do I want?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
What I want to do today?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Exactly? Like which one? No? No, no, no, no, like,
but that's just not the reality.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, exactly, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I imagine that's a bit of a mind you know what,
when you're sorting through the next days of your career, like,
oh my god, am I going to be okay?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah? That's part of the scare of leaving, right, is
that there's also I mean, aside from loving everyone and
loving the character, there's also this kind of taking a
big step into the unknown and not knowing for as
an actor, you might not work for years. You might
might be three four years until the right project comes
that's right for you. So and that's perfectly normal. There's
there's you know, it just kind of is part of
(07:57):
the industry.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And so that was part of the.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Scary thing of leaving a steady job that you also
love everyone that you work with, and that is a
rarity too, right to like really get on with everybody
and enjoy your time there and it's steady, and you
know that it was a little nerve wracking, but.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You're doing just fine. Clearly by me seeing you all
over my gym, you're doing just fine. Are there any
Are there any personality traits of Haley's that have stayed
with you in your day to day life? Uh?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
In my day to day life.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't know about my day to day life.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I mean, she was very intense person and and you know,
I think I can be very protective over people that
I love, so I guess that probably would come in
if that needed to.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But I don't know that I carried she.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
She just had this level of intensity to her that
I think I don't I don't think I bring with
her on a day to day For sure.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
She's more deep inside with me.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I would say Anna and I are more I have
probably more similarities on a day to day with Anna
than I did with Haley.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah. That's intense energy to carry around. Yeah, four. Yeah,
I imagine some days you would go home and we're like,
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
But I mean, honestly, when we when we were filming
on PD, a lot of in between, like as soon
as they'd yell cut, we were peasing each other and
tripping each other and playing pranks on each other and
you know.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
You're not method.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I'm not method. No, I am the first person to
laugh in any scenario, which is probably not good to
say out loud.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, it's probably I mean very healthy for you. Actually
like to not live in that space all the time.
Method scares me a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I mean, I guess, yeah, And to each their own.
For me, I still can't believe. I mean that I
get to do this job for a living, you know, truly,
And so whenever I'm on set and I yell cut
and then you know those cameras and everyone's doing their thing.
You see people coming out of the raptors fixing their
whatever they're tweaking, and You're like, this is the coolest thing.
(10:08):
And I get paid to do this job.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
So I don't take it all very too seriously unless
I have to be somewhere for like a scene that's
emotional and I have to go sit in a corner
and be in my feelings.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
But for the most part, I just try to have
fun and enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah. Well, it's probably part of the magic you bring,
and that's why it's still is so exciting and fresh
for you, And you know, it really does show through
your work to kind of put a pin in this
portion of the conversation. Did it surprise you that Haley
and Jay became one of the biggest, most beloved relationships
in the entire you know, one Chicago franchise.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Yeah, I mean, it's such an honor to have fans
were so behind the two of us, and it was, Yeah,
it's amazing. The fans on the Chicago fans are incredible,
really an incredible fan base.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So I was really touched.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
And I remember when when Jay left and I tweeted
Upstead Forever and people.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Were like upside wherever I was. I wouldn't mean to.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
I was just like, you know, by Jesse and and
made that hashtag and people were really uh uh into that.
So yeah, it's really I feel really touched that people
like their characters so much.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I feel like from that moment forward, you launched all
of the online rumors about a spinoff. One day, people like,
does that mean it's happening? Is she dropping a hint
to it? This is a code? It was like Taylor
Swift level decoding. It's like, what does that mean? And
obviously you're so busy now with an a pigeon and
that's hopefully we'll go on for a million seasons. But
if the time is right one day, is that something
(11:42):
you would entertain?
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Oh my god, Yeah, that'd be amazing, that would be fun.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, upset forever. Yeah, Well you swapped now city life
for do we say country life? Wilderness life? Wilderness life? Yeah,
wilderness life. So what made you say, Okay, you know what,
this is the right project? Anna Pigeons my girl. I
want to play her. I want to dive in.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I read the pilot, so I wasn't familiar with the books.
When this landed landed on my lap, it was my
rep sent me the script to read, and I just
fell in love with Anna. I thought she was again complicated.
As we had said before about Hailey, she's this really interesting, complicated.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Character who's grieving and.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Is really trying to figure out who she is in
this new stage of her life after going through this
really horrible loss. But in that grief, she also is
really curious and really she's really impulsive and acts on
emotion and all these things that were very different from
from Hailey, very different from who I had played before.
(12:47):
Hailey was very controlled, suppressed her emotions whereas Anna lives
very outwardly and I read the pilot and just absolutely
fell in love with her, and so I was an
instant Yes, I would love to be a part of this.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
And then that was it for me.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Did you have an audition process? So they were like,
we love you, please play this role.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
It was a meeting.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I had a meeting with Leah and more Win and
I think they had I'm sure they had meetings with
other people as well, but yeah, and then here we are.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
So you're a full on park ranger. Yeah. Did you
have to do any special training?
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Not a ton of special training for the tactical portion
of being a park ranger, but I did have to
learn how to ride a horse.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
That was really fun.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, it was probably one of my favorite parts.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yeah, I mean I love animals in nature and so
I was all in for all of this. But I
had when I first got the job, I flew out
a few, like about a week early, and then we
were growing horseback riding and our trainers were really wonderful
and took their time to make sure that I felt comfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But I fell in love.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I've I've I'm.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Sure people have heard me talk about my horse before.
But his name is Joker, and I.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Love him and I miss him, and I I just
got right into I actually felt I wanted. When we
finished filming, I was like, I want a horse.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I need to move, I need to get horses like
I need to facilitate.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
This in my day to day life.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
So that was a big part of the training was
horseback riding.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I would say. Everything else we kind of figured out
as we went.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Did you get a horse?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I just I did not get a horse.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
It turns out it's a little more involved than I
had imagined before.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
There's not a horse roaming around your yard.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Oh I wish, I really wish it may happen.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Q you moving to like Montana and buying a horse?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I love?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, being in nature. I would love to have a farm.
There's something.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Oh, I would love a chicken. I'm not sure I
want them waking me up every morning, but I love
a good chicken. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I needed a couple.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You can, well, that's true. You need like a coop coop?
Is that what you say? Coop?
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I think they hang out in a coop.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
That they look I'm so farm like. I'm like city's
gone country. Now let's go get a chicken coop. Yeah,
it's great. I would love to grow my own food too.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I don't know what I'm eating half the time. You
never know, right, there you go.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I mean you could do that, now, don't.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Get I will talk about this for half an hour.
Do not get me on this tangent. But yet I
wish I could not. In the city, you can have
like a garden, you can do like mini you.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Could do like in the apartment garden.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Then you're gonna get nats.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
That's true. They have things for that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I have a few hang ups. If you can't tell
I'm Italian, it happens, you know, so. But anyway, I digress.
I love that about horses. I think that. I I agree,
like I ride when I go on vacation. I try to. Yeah,
And I think it's the most magical thing and just
beyond the oars and to feel that, and I imagine
it helps you get into character too, obviously.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, Yeah, it's like a whole other thing.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I think it's something because it's something that I don't
do normally on my day to day, so it very
much feels a part of that one.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, you know what I mean, But that's so cool.
That's so cool. So coming off of playing Haley and
now playing Anna as an actress, are there things that
you have to do to like shake off your prior
character to make sure that character doesn't like sneak into
this performance. You have to draw boundaries? What is that process?
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, I mean I think that there is a little
bit of I think the biggest thing for me was
there's a you know, a couple of moments in Ann
a pigeon where I have to go into a house
and clear clear the house. We call it when you're
like coming in and you think there may be an
offender in there. And for me playing Haley, I mean
we would do that every episode, every day. It's very
(16:29):
very comfortable with that. But Anna doesn't do that very often.
So I think that was a little bit of like
unknowing what I'm like on learning what I knew and
playing not being necessarily so comfortable with the process. Maybe
she's a little nervous. You know, Hailey would kick in
the door, would Anna would?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Would she? She would?
Speaker 4 (16:47):
But you know, would she proceed with a different level
of caution? And so that was an interesting exploration of
finding the differences between the two of them, particularly when
it came to the tactical stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
That's so interesting, and to be conscious of that too,
like deciding, Okay, I might be tempted to do one thing,
but maybe I should do it a different way to
make that distinction.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah, I mean, I think taking taking back a little bit.
They are different and the training is different for a
park ranger in a.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
City police officer.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
There's base that they both go through basic training, but
then you kind of go in different directions for the
rest of the training. And so I just wanted to
make sure that I was, you know, making sure I
was honoring park ranger training and honoring their their story
and their journey.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
So beyond solving cases, what do you think it is
that Anna's really searching for out there in the national parks.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
I think she is trying to get away. I don't
know that she's I think she's probably searching for peace
above all things. But the reason that she leaves and goes,
like leaves the city to go is she just can't.
She doesn't want to be around people, she doesn't want
to be around anybody. She just wants to kind of
hide from the world, and she finds herself connecting with
(18:06):
people and having these relationships that are affecting her more
than she'd like for them to be. You know, I
think she just wants to shut down and shut everybody out,
and she's finding herself growing and evolving through these other
people around her that are having this effect on her.
But I think overall, she's just trying to find out
who she is again now after this loss happens for her,
(18:29):
that she just is a bit she's lost.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Well, it's hard. It's hard to find your footing when
you're navigating loss, you know, and when you're grieving or
trying to figure out what your new normal is after
going through something like that. It's not easy. Were you
able to bring anything from your life to that role,
because that's pretty that's a hard thing to tap into
unless you've been through it.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Yeah, I've lost a few people very dear to me,
my dad being one of them, and so yeah, thanks. Yeah,
and he never really close as well, not that that
makes a difference, but we would talk every day, and
so I think I think that that was easy for
me to understand the grief process.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But I think what I also found really interesting.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
What I loved about more wins writing and all of
our writers. But Morwen's vision of this series is that
I don't know for me, particularly how I went through
my grief was it's not just one noted. It wasn't
just I'm sad now. There was moments you kind of
ebb and flow. I feel like anybody that's been through grief,
you have moments where you kind of forget, forget about
(19:35):
the sadness for a second, but then you feel guilty
that you forgot about the sadness.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You feel like you should feel like.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Can I say shit?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
You can? You can? I because I just did, by
the way, I was gonna say fuck earlier. But you
strike me as someone so classy that I felt disrespectful
saying that in front of you. So I'm like, I
don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Please so yes, you can say whatever you want, all right, no, no,
and please swear away. But yeah, I mean, I felt
like that was an interesting portrayal of that Anna was
going through because I felt like I related to that
a lot in that you're not always in a bad headspace.
Sometimes you come out of it and you have a
(20:19):
laugh and you forget and then you come back and
you remember, and the for me, at least, when it
first happened, there was an intense sadness, and then as
the years went on, it changes and I can still
I mean, I could cry about it today and it's
been in thirteen years, but I also can talk about
it and not and it evolves over time. And I
(20:40):
think that's what I really liked about Anna. She has
moments where she's a little she's funny, she's sarcastic, and
she's grieving and sad and going through the motion of it,
all the motions of it all, and so.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
I like that. I like the whole, well roundedness of
her well and.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
It's so human, right, Like you said, grief isn't is
it one thing. There's all highs and lows and everything
in between, and that's just life, right, And I imagine
playing a character like this in some ways seeing her
go through it. I don't know, does it kind of
help you on your journey even though it was thirteen years,
does it still help you in a weird way?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
I mean, I don't know. I'm in such a different
place with it all now, but I think, no matter what,
you're kind of continuing to EBB and flow through it.
I think where I am with that now is I
like to talk about my dad a lot. I bring
him up all the time. And even though sometimes people
get uncomfortable because they're like, oh, people are really uncomfortable
(21:40):
talking about death or lost because they're.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Like, god, what if she cries?
Speaker 4 (21:44):
And it can make people uncomfortable, I don't care, you know.
I think that I will keep my dad alive in
my conversations with people because that's what makes me happy
and I want to keep him here. And I think
that that was something that the character does as well
as he's he's her own, but she talks about it
about her ex husband through her Actually my phone doesn't
(22:08):
all have.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
To say that.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
She talks about her grief but through with her sister.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Wow. Yeah, so let's keep him alive for a second.
Would he love this show?
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Yeah, my dad would like this show. He would like
he was very outdoorsy, so he would love that. He
would have and like, you know, all the action and
stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
He for sure he would have loved it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
That's so cool. Yeah, that's so cool. And I really
I always like talking to people about this. I'm not
one of those people that finds it weird or I
don't know. I think we all go through it, and
I think it's interesting to hear how other people function
and navigate through grief and through that journey, and to
see characters on TV going through that and to see
the humans playing them going through it in real life, right,
Because sometimes I feel like there's this misconception about artists
(22:49):
or actors or whoever, that everything's always great, and like, right,
that's just not true. Your people who go through what
everyone else goes through totally and it's.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Hard, totally totally, And I think that getting to tell
those stories on you know, through through film and TV
is a great honor getting to it's like the human
in us all going through loss and you know, figuring
it all out together.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
M okay, so how can we all watch it?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Watch Anna and a Pigeon USA out on Friday.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Oh wait, this is airing?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
It will be out now?
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Yeah now Friday's ten o'clock USA.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I love a good old fashioned episode dropping once a week.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I like that. Yeah, build community makes you excited for
something like, oh, I can't wait for Friday to watch it. Yeah, yeah,
that's really really cool. I look at you, and I'm like, Wow,
you've done so much in your career that people artists, actors,
aspiring actors dream of, right, like to come off of
a huge hit show and everything you've done prior to that,
so now like leading another show of your own like
(23:53):
you are the name of the show is pretty remarkable.
I mean, have you always felt like your road will
lead you to here?
Speaker 3 (24:03):
No?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
No, really no, I mean I think I just had
a big dream.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
And I remember.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I used to have I worked in a bank and
I was a bank teller, and I was bartending at night,
and I had another job where I was serving at
the other restaurant, so I had three jobs.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
And I remember just being like, oh god, I really
just want.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
To just act, like that's all I want. I just
want acting to be my main, my only source of income,
and not needing to do all these other jobs. And
because I would go work on do a little job
and then have to come back and and I was
really fortunate that the bank would take me back time.
So I think that this is just like I'm I
(24:47):
can't believe that I'm here, and I'm very grateful to
be here, and I don't take.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
It for granted.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Did you ever want to quit acting? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
No, never, Wow, No, I love it fair. I feel
very lucky. I mean, I get I there's I get
to do what I what I love. I get to
tell stories for a living.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
But before you were doing this on such a grand level,
when you were pursuing it still, no, you never were like,
you know what I'm I'm not getting the job I want.
I'm not getting that audition. Maybe I don't want to
do it.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
I have a very.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
I'm very fortunate for this.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I have a very positive point of view with most things.
And so if I got an audition, and you know,
the feedback was especially you know, getting to go into
a room and reading with the cast director and then
the feeding the feedback was we love her. You know,
she's not necessarily right for the for the role, but
we thought she did a good job. For me, it
was I would interpret it as though I booked it.
(25:43):
So I'd be like, Okay, that's a win. I felt
like I succeeded, and so I would take the little
wins and that would be my fuel and just be like, Okay,
I'm going in the right direction.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
If they if they liked it, or I made it to.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
You know it was between me and a handful of
other people. Okay, that feels like a win if I
book get even better. But if I don't, at least
I made it there, which means that they think I
can do the job. And it comes down to you know,
my interpretation of this character or my look or whatever that.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Maybe they didn't see was right.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
But but if if they think I can do it
and they think I'm a good actor, then I'm on
the right I'm on the right path. So I would
kind of take the little bits of things that would
come up and try to use that as my food.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
That's very glass half full.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Yeah, I've a very Yeah, it's almost a sickness.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Though, Yeah, very good.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Yeah, how did you get like that?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I've just always I've always had a pretty good, uh
positive outlook on things. So I'm very fortunate for that,
I think, because I don't, I mean, I get down.
If we all get down, if there's something you really want,
the part you really want and it doesn't end up
working out, you know, I'll get bummed by it.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
But uh, but then you just pick it up and
keep going.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah, and you've always kept going. Clearly, you never let
this industry, as hard as it may have been, stop you.
You're like, I'm I'm going to get there.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
I'm going to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, I mean I had my moments.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
I used to do this thing during pilot season where
I would book a trip at the end of pilot
season because I love traveling, and so if I booked
a job, then I would get to work and that
was great, a great reason to cancel my trip. And
if I didn't book anything, then I would get.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
To go on this really great trip, and.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So it was a win win as like a congrats
to you for nailing pilot season.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, like you did good. You did good, Rock, Go
enjoy your life and go have a little trip.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh my god, I love that. Yeah, that is like
the best self care ever. Like, yes, celebrating the wins,
even if it's not exactly the outcome you want, but
celebrating the job you did. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Also just having something to look forward to.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I love a travel adventure, so getting to go do whatever,
like even whatever it could be within my budget, even
if it was you know, when I was in Canada
at the time, it'd be like Okay, I want to
go camping at this place, or I want to go
whatever the thing may be.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's so cool. So from being that girl who was
working at the bank and doing three jobs to being
where you are today, how has your death definition of
success changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
You know, I gotta tell you, I'm still I mean,
I have a lot of goals and things that I
would love to get to do in my career. But
I still feel like I'm winning if I can just
only do this as my main source of income. Yeah,
that I still feel like I'm like, Okay, this is
this is what you wanted, and you're here and you're
you're getting to do it and doing it with projects
(28:26):
that I love on top of that feels like icing
on that cake.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So I still feel that way.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
And I have things that i'd love to to do,
and you know, other projects that I would love to
you know, play in different characters and stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
But but I as far as success goes, I feel
I feel.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
That I that I am comfortable that I've made it
here and as a lot of I can stay here,
then I feel good.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
So it seems like success is very much doing work
that you love. Yeah, you know, and that's how I
think it's a very healthy way to measure it. It's
not like on a monetary value. It's not on like
you said, you have goals, but you wake up every
day and you do something you love. Yeah, that's amazing,
That's truly amazing.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I think a lot of people also hearing this conversation
and looking at your trajectory might fall into the trap.
And I say trap because it is of thinking, oh,
Tracy's never had to deal with rejection, like everything seems
to just happen so easily, hit show, leading a show.
But I imagine you faced rejection over the course of
(29:31):
your career.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Yes, absolutely, I think every reactor has rejection. But yeah,
I mean I remember after Revolution got canceled, I don't think.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I worked for a while. I think it was like
a good couple of years where I think I had.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Maybe booked a couple of pilots that didn't go, a
pilot or something that didn't go.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
But I wasn't doing much.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
I was I didn't have any money, was trying to
figure I remember even before that, living in Vancouver, when
I was serving in bartending, I went to go buy
this is probably an overshare I went to go buy
some tampons and my credit card bounced. I was like
for five dollars.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
So I was like, oh God, and I.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Had to go ask my roommate to borrow until I
could get some like I worked and had my tips
and then could pay her back. So yeah, I mean,
you know, but that's part of this journey for me
at least anyways. But yeah, there's rejection in our industry
for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Well, and I think in a lot of industries right
So for anyone listening who is facing that right now
or going through it, what would you say to them,
like to keep going?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I think.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Just believe in yourself and do what makes you feel good.
Find your food, whatever that may be. You know, for me,
I would find these little pieces where I'd feel like
I was going in the right direction, and I would say,
find what fuels you and then just keep going after it.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I had a teacher tell me once where he was like,
if you're not getting these roles that you want, you know,
write something and give yourself that role or try to create,
you know, find your avenue into how.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
You want to be a part of this industry and
what that is for you.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
So whether it's this industry or whatever it is that
you're passionate about, go after it with everything that you've got.
I think for me, the one thing I didn't want
to do is you get get to being, you know,
in my eighties and be like, man, I really wish I.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Had given it my all. That's what I never wanted.
And so just give it, give it what you got,
give it, give it your all, and see where.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
It all lands.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
You're somebody who definitely definitely doesn't live with regret.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I feel like, no, I don't, Yeah, no, because I
think even anything that you do and my dad, this
was actually my dad's saying that you can't regret the
things you've done.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
You can only regret the things you haven't.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
So go after whatever it is and you'll learn from it,
whatever it is, and if it's if it's a you know,
some not the outcome that you want or whatever, you'll
grow from that. You'll pick that up and you'll it's
all information and you'll grow into being a different person
because of that.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
So it take it all as a win.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Good advice from dad, Yeah, good advice is good for
those yeah good ones.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I love those little nuggets of yeah well, I could
go on and on. This is such a great conversation,
and I love seeing I love seeing different sides to
the artists behind the fan favorite roles because I think
it's not always something you guys get to do. Yeah,
and a lot of interviews on our business are so
(32:49):
quick and yeah, and I work on a show called
Extra and do a lot of our carpet work too,
and you know, I would leave those jobs feeling I
shouldn't say that this if my boss is listening. Love
you guys, but just sometimes not totally satisfied because I
feel like it was such a quick conversation. It's just
two and a half minute with somebody on a carpet,
and you have like certain bites you want to get
(33:10):
about the project in this and you answer the same
thing over and over again, and we all kind of
leave those carpets being like what just happened?
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Like what was that?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Right? It was just crazy?
Speaker 4 (33:20):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I started seeing like a little something in the eyes
of people that I would talk to, like they wanted
another minute to say something right, or they didn't have
the chance to say something. So that's how I came
up with this show. I've never said this before. To
give people the chance to come on and say something
that means something to them, whatever it means. There's no prompt,
it's just whatever that means. I always end the interview
with what is something you've never said before that you
(33:43):
want to share today?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
You know, I've I think talk about like rejection stuff.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
When I was I think it was about seventeen, I
had won this modeling contest. I don't think I've ever
told the story, but I had won this modeling contest
and I went to the modeling agency. One of my
brothers took me, and I got there when they gave
me a bikini and told me to put the bikini
on and they were going to take some pictures. So
(34:16):
I went and put the bikini on. I came out
and they took polaroid pictures of me and then laid
them out in front of me and took a sharpie
and circled all my body flaws with a sharpie and
laid them out and they said you have to lose
weight here, here, and here if you want to do this.
And I remember being I mean, I was like kind
of deflated, you know, and I didn't really know what
(34:36):
to say, and my brother was very protective.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Both my brothers are very protective.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
So my brother got defensive and he was like, you
guys brought her out here. You told her she won
this contest, and now you're telling her that she needs
to lose weight. And they said, you know, look, she's
pretty for guy meets girl kind of pretty, but if
she wants to make it in this industry, she's got
to lose weight. And I remember just being really it
(35:02):
was like a gut punch because I was so excited
I had won this contest and they wanted to take
me out to Milan to do this modeling stuff. And
they were a pretty big agency. Gosh, I can't even
remember the name of them now, but they were a
big agency.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Anyway.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I remember my brother and I walking out and I
had kind of was like hanging my head low, and
he put his arm around me.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
He was like, do you want to go get some
a and w in a case of beer? It's like
I do, I do?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
And we went and we sat in like our like little.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Moell motel that we had and had a beer and
some burgers and he was like, you're not modeling anymore.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
I'm telling mom you're done.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
And yeah, so that was like the you know, and
it's it's funny because like those places on my body
that they circled now, even now and it's been a
long time, and I still see those things in the
mirror and I see those flaws like they even though
they're not flaws, but they're like it's cause you're such
a young age, so impressionable at seventeen. So yeah, I mean,
(36:03):
you know, you just gotta they stand and I have
to like tell myself that that is not real and
to just love yourself and not to not care. And
so but that was, Yeah, that's my little story that
I've never shared. And don't don't let anyone tell you
how to live in your own body.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Isn't that amazing? That's something that happened that long ago
at seventeen. That was like a little literally like a
blimp in the story of your life. Still not affects you,
but you still think about it to this day sometimes
when you see yourself, Yeah, isn't that amazing.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
It's like a it's like a core memory inserted, but
like a negative core memory and start you know where
you're like.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Ooh, that was a hard one, right, yeah, and prior
to that, did you ever think twice about how you look? No?
Isn't that amazing? I never cared that predominantly, mostly I
assume men, we're telling you how you should feel about
your body. It makes me enraged, enraged. I'm like a
huge proponent to this day. I've had some friends in
(37:06):
the spotlight who have been ripped apart for their bodies
and it makes me enraged, Like I am the person
that will go online and hate tweet to people saying that,
and my agent's like, let's not do that, and I'm like,
oh my god, I just I can't. Like, I hate
when people talk about other people's bodies so much, and
this is a great example why So I hope this
story also reminds people listening to be kinder when it
(37:29):
comes to people's bodies. There's people online right now who
are in the spotlight and their bodies are being critiqued singers,
and I'm seeing it every day and it's like, no
one knows the real story. Maybe we just don't talk
about it.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Yeah, let everybody, yeah their own life.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, Oh you spark something in me now, I'm like,
give me the names of those people, because I want
to go back. Also because I have a I got
my start in the business as a Ford model, and
I've dealt with some of that too, and it's just
like why why yeah, why?
Speaker 4 (37:56):
And I was so lucky that I had my brother
there with me, Thank God, who was like, you know,
like this reaction is good.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Let's go get some beer and some burns.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Like yeah, okay, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Uh but yeah I don't know.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Yeah, you gotta not not not let anyone tell you
how you should or shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Yeah, well I hope. I hope today you feel very
good about yourself. Yeah good, yeah, good, good, like you
know it is what it is good and shout out
to your brother.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Also another very classy response. I feel like I would
have been like, oh, I'm going in there and decking
the guns. Yeah, like very classier response.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Both of my brothers are amazing. I have two older brothers.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I'm very lucky.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
I love that. Yeah, I love that. Well. I hope
they're also very proud of watching you and ann A
pigeon because we are all so excited for it. I
cannot wait. I like, usually I get to screen something
ahead of time, and I was saying you. I didn't
get to do that with this one, so I'm like,
I'm dying to see episode one. I can't wait for it.
So everybody, it's out now, go watch it, Go watch it,
(38:55):
and then can you only watch it on Friday nights?
Can you stream it anywhere?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
I don't know if they're streaming anywhere.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Yeah, I'm sure there will be at some point, but
DVR at this point, Dr.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Usa Usa, Thank you so much for hanging out. You
are lovely. I really really appreciate it. For everybody listening,
we are doing another episode called Hot Takes and Hangouts,
so make sure you listen to that on Thursday when
it's dropping. Thank you, my friend, Thank you. I've Never
Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario. This
(39:26):
podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and
by me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never
Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast
Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and subscribe
to our show and if you liked this episode, tell
your friends. Until next time. I'm Tommy de Dario
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND News
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