February 5, 2026 • 46 mins
Actor, writer, director, musical artist & producer Jordan Firstman joins Kyle in the pod stu to muse about being & having a muse, Jordan’s creative process & feature directorial debut with Club Kid, and his Laura Dern song & standom. Of course, the two discuss all things I Love LA, including Rachel Sennott’s spot-on depiction of the industry’s current vibe, what it’s like being Charlie, and getting a second season! Don’t miss a theatrical tribute to Jordan’s iconic album, Secrets, with Slammin’ Monologues: Secrets Edition! – a game where Kyle & Jordan perform dramatic readings of his song lyrics.
Tune in every Thursday for new episodes of What Are We Even Doing?
Executive Producers: iHeart Media, Elvis Duran Podcast Network & Full Picture Productions
Executive Produced for Full Picture Productions by Desiree Gruber & Anne Walls Gordon
Produced by Ben Fingeret, Nora Faber & Maia Mizrahi
Editing by Mikey Harmon & Nicholas Giuricich
Research by Kimberly Walls
Music by Yatta
Art by Danica Robinson
Additional GFX by Chris Olfers/The Southern Influence
Styling by Dot Bass
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We thrive on being amused, but we also like to
be director daddy. Oh thank you, my ised owed Cortato.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The hell were they thinking? Why didn't think as that
is my tea?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I think this is getting an oscar.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I like the directing is basically leading a military campaign.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Busted out CBS. They did comedy there. He's acting pretty
gay in that pose. Once the gays find out you
did theater, it is over. I am a bitch. Grab
your glock and shake your asses. What do we even do?
What are we even doing?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm Kyle McLaughlin. I'm the host of What are We
Even Doing? Where we talk with people try to figure
out what are we even doing? Artists, musicians create as
all type and we discuss the thing that interests me most,
which is creative process. So we're going to talk today
with you are a multi hyphen it. I'm sorry that's
an overused word, but actor, comedian, producer, musical artist and
(01:01):
according to Paper magazine. I don't know if you remember
this your favorite celebrities, favorite celebrity, but I feel like
there should be another layer. You are everywhere Jordan during
first one was with ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, who yeah,
who I.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Want to go back. I want to go back because
I'm not Okay, it's like favorite celebrities, favorite celebrity. That's
that doesn't really make sense because it's like everyone has
a different favorite celebrity, Like I'm not Timothy Shallam's favorite celebrity.
Tell you that much.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Are you sure he hates me?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Now him?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
You know? I mean like no, I think there's a
couple of people out there that like me, so it
would it would have to be their favorite celebrity.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's just the creative because I've interviewed a few people
now a kind of in the same creative community. I
don't know how to say it, and you are everywhere,
and I think maybe what this is speaking to is
more that your creative energy, which is thick and multi hued,
(02:03):
I don't know how else to put it, is huge
in you're like you're a muse.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Okay, So this is a conversation that Rachel Senna and
I have a lot, okay where it's like we both
and and not to sound too you know, up our
own ass or pretentious, but like we both really like
we thrive on being amused, but we also like to
be like director Daddy and have our muses. So it's
(02:30):
like do we want to be the muse or have
the muse? And like we're kind of constantly oscillating between
those things.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Which is impressive, I think and essential. And I'm trying
to think if I I sort of know what you mean,
but you you are both very successful thinking about myself
and who I've been a mused for you and we
think of David Lynch of course, but but I've always
been more comfortable in that role and not necessarily out
(02:59):
in front. You love being I love working with him
in that world because it was so singular.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, when you have someone like David, it's like you're
gonna like have God in front of you being like,
actually I want to do my own thing.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So it's like you you have you when you trust
a master like that who can actually like I and
he's a bit of a shaman too, so he can
kind of like do this weird voodoo spiritual surgery on
you and like make bring out things and emotions you
didn't know you had or you didn't know you were
capable of.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yes, no, that you described it beautifully. I think creates
the environment I think, where you can dig into places
that you just allow them. Really, you know, it's not
an intellectual journey as much as it is you're just
feeling your way through.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, And he was so easy.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
On the sad and gentle, very focused and specific, but
made the environment experience really wonderful, which is why so
many actors speak so highly of him. Yeah, just the
greatest guy. Just very human, very engaging, very inclusive, and
it just was a beautiful place to be. I think
of you, I think as also bringing a tremendous amount
of joy to what you do. When you work, you're
(04:12):
always having it seems like you're always that's where you live, right,
I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, that's it's fun has always been really important to me.
It was funny. I had like a really abusive, like
toxic relationship for like my first four years of my
twenty or from like twenty four to twenty eight that
like really made me believe that like fun was the
most evil thing that a person can possess. And he
(04:36):
really resented my like natural ability to have and curate fun,
and so I thought maybe that was bad for a while,
and then it's taken you know, the last couple of
years to realize like that is my tea, Like that
is what makes me special. And then like I just
wrapped my first feature, directing Yes Yes, Gratulations two weeks ago,
(05:01):
and I was looking around that set and I'm like,
this is to come from a place of fun and presence.
Like fun mixed with presence creates. So it's so many
ideas that you would never have that rather than coming
from a place of like constraint and like work and
(05:22):
focus and like and there's parts of that too. Sure
when you're in that mode of having fun, just like
infinite infinite ideas come.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Infinite creativity and infinite energy. Yeah, which is the other
thing because you've got you get to the end of
the day and you're exhausted. At the same time you're like, wow,
that was really something fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, it's kind of a cliche to be like it's
therapy or like, oh, like I'm working through stuff, But
I'm like, my work is me working through stuff, and
like that's always how it is gonna be for me.
When I'm writing, I often don't know what I'm writing about,
and then until after I'm like, whoa, that's like about
(06:08):
something very deep and hidden in me that maybe I
wasn't aware how to put it into words or to
put it into feelings. Then you have the script process
where're like, okay, like I know what I'm saying now what.
I know what I'm saying about life, and I know
what I'm saying about my experience, and like what all.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
These characters yeah into that place.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
And then you start shooting and all these other huge
feelings come out and they're way more elusive, and I'm
like I had, I had the opposite of abstract, Like
I work on this script for three years. Every line
means something, and then you start doing it and you're like, whoa,
now it's feeling. Yeah, and I'm feeling all these things
right now and I don't know what they mean, but
(06:53):
I'm crying yes, and I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well that's the mark of a great script, then.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I would hope. So, I mean, this is this was
just my experience, like I had this. It was the
most emotional. I cried every day. I would go to
set crying, cathartic for you, sometimes crying because I'm like, oh,
I'm banking the worst movie ever made. And then on
the way home and be like, I think this is
getting an oscar. Yeah, it was like the ups and
(07:21):
downs of making a film are like no one prepared,
no one can prepare you. It's like no, it's I
think people don't get it. It's like and they look
at film and TV and whatever are from the outside
and they're like basically like love it, hate it, Like
like they're just like yes, no, move on, and it's
like the actual process is insane. It's insane and it
(07:46):
doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, and it's just a click of a button. Yeah, yeah,
thanks for those three years. Yeah, Directing is is you're
basically leading a military campaign. I mean, it's crazy. And
you have to have access to language. Obviously a visual medium,
you've got to be able to tell the story visually.
You have to know sound. You don't have to know rhythm,
(08:09):
you have to know music. You have to be able
to work with people, you have to be able to
express I mean, there are so many things you got
to be good at, you know what I mean. Or
have people that are with you that are able to
help you, you know, and surround yourself with people that
can sort of all your lieutenants, you know. But I
feel like because of your vast interests. I feel like
you and you have a lot to say. This is
(08:29):
going to be an interesting journey. I'm excited to see
what you do with this as a director. Yeah, I
think you're going to be very good.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I think I did a good job. I'm like the
second I started pre production and this is like, you know,
I'm thirty four, I've been trying to do this a
long time. I've had a lot of I've done a
lot of other different things. Yeah, directed some shorts in
my twenties, but this is my first, like you know,
had some money, not a lot of them, but but.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Just enough to get it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah. The second we started pre production, I was like,
it was that feeling like maybe people get when they
start their first job or whatever. I was like, oh,
this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Okay, Like
this is it and like love acting. Could do Rachel's
show for a million years. It's so fun Like I
like being funny too, so that's another thing.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But yeah, your timing is excellent.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah, you don't stand up. I don't even know if I.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Know I had I the when I funny story I
first moved to La I went to one like random
show because I guess I wanted to see like Mark
Marin or something. I was like in move my early
twenties were like I was like I was into Awasca
but also Mark Marin and Duncan Trussel and like I
(09:51):
just podcasts.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yes, I was really, well, welcome, he is coming back.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I was listening to Joe Rogan. I'll say it the day.
You know, it wasn't as real guinea back then. You know,
he had some mystical people on, but I got.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I guessed, yeah, she runs yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah. So I went to this one show and this
like crazy lady like I talked to after and she
was like, you should come to like come to my
next show and you and you can like perform a set.
I'll try performing a set. We get there, she's like, okay,
so I'm going to go. You just host the show.
(10:28):
And she's like, just do your thing like you're funny.
I'm like, we've never talked. You don't know that I'm funny.
And then basically the next like month or two of
my life was spent trying to figure out how to
run this show she was. She never came back. She goes,
this is your show now and I had never done it.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Was it a gift?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Or was it was the worst moments of my life.
It was like I was like I was doing a
room full of like six to eight people in and
like a bar at four pm in the day and
like in October and a really hot and I was like,
what am I doing or talking about? I would like
(11:09):
I would just like sing dream Girls, like I don't
even know what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I was doing whatever whatever content.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, And then so I that was my one and
only experience dandom experience. I go, I don't think I'm
going to do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You are up for anything kind of it feels like
the experience for you is what's most important. Yeah, and
you throw yourself into it without judgment. It feels like
and you just go, hey, I'm going in all the way. Yeah,
let's let's And you're like, you want to you want
to swim to the bottom, figure it out.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I don't know, it's a yeah, the muck.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I like the muck getting into that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Definitely. I'm trying to get to like the bottom of
me all the time. And like I've done I mean,
this year, my whole twenties also spent like years of
iowask and like doing all of that, really going far
down that road, getting stuck in a few minor cults
that weren't real cults, but they could be cults, you know,
(12:10):
that kind of vibe exploring. Yeah, but still always had
this side of me that was like insanely ambitious, and
I was like, I will like right for TV by
twenty four and I did that, and like so I
don't know, I would have these double lives, but then
I would leave for three months and go like like
fuck a thousand guys in Europe and then come back
(12:31):
and like, I don't know, continue Like I don't know.
I think I've just I'm I've moved around a lot,
I've like been part of many subcultures. I've always gotten
along with everyone. Yeah, Like that's that's kind of like
the main constant in my life that I get along
with a lot of people. So I can find myself
(12:52):
in weird situations or great situations, and I think that
kind of has an informed everything and maybe what's to come.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, Yeah, because I've You're very it seems to be
very open. Once you engage in a situation, you're like, well,
let's just explore this, yeah, and and open yourself up
to it. And I know, creatives and speaking as an actor,
it's like that's part of the process. I just feel
like in your case, it's like you you know, you're
(13:27):
jumping out of the plane and you're like you're going
to pull the record at the very last second. Yeah,
you know, just enough to say, you know what I mean,
because you want the full experience you East Coast right.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I think the summer camp experiences out there are very
power and you go back again and again and again,
and you really was it. You remember the camp's name
that you were.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I do do you want to say you know it
is a theater camp. I'll say it. Okay, I'll say
it myself. I was a theater kid. Nothing wrong with that, hey,
nothing something wrong with that? Well, it depends because now, honestly,
I think like theater kids can breed two types of people,
(14:09):
kids who grew up really fast by these like you
know you're a kid that's in the songheim you're growing
up some very adult universal truths and we understand those
lyrics like somehow it's sixteen, you're like every day a
little death.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yes, yes, yes, very heavy, very very heavy.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
But then they're the ones that go the the like
I'm a cutthroat serial killer, sociopath theater kid. Yes, and
you still run into them because they go they go
up and they're all around us and we just don't
know too exactly. But yes, I went to a camp
called Stage Door Manor and New York of State, New York.
(14:52):
I mean it was so fun. It's like you got
to be around a bunch of like kids that had
your exact same obsession. It was like all gay boys,
Like what was going on in those bunks? You don't
want to know? Figure it out. We had to figure
it out. We had it down on lock.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
No. But it was great and like still some great
friendships and we were all very like our friend group
is very ambitious too, so it's like seeing where everyone
went it is cool. And you know, one of my
one of my best friends from camp is now like
like pretty high up at Vanity Fair and just interviewed
me for Vanity Fair and I'm like, that's such a
(15:36):
cool thing to like we did Secret Garden together when
we were like fourteen, so it's yeah, it's nice to
like see.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To share that experience.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yeah, exactly, that's very cool.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, but I also think being in the theater camp
upstate New York. You're close to New York City. This
is where you go. So film and TV was not
when you started, wasn't the thing. You were a theater.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I was the kid that was like we were living
on Long Island. I was like, Mom, Dad, you don't
need to worry about this. You wouldn't even know how
to do it if you tried. I'm going to go
get an agent in the city. I'm fourteen years old.
I got I'm going to head in the city, get
an agent. You yell, sit back. You wouldn't even know.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
So were they connected it all to the industry or no?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
No, they were like journalists for a newspaper.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, yeah right so writers.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Writers writers, Yeah, different type of writing. And I made
it happen. Got myself a little bunk ass agent, like
like you would walk into the office and it's just
like file like you were like walk through paths of
these huge yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're too white for
(16:44):
lion king. We can't give you a lion king.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
That's a classic New York I know that. I know that,
But there's a certain smell that comes with that I.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Remember the smell vividly. Oh my god. Yeah. I was
like acting and acting, And then I got really close
to being in the revival of Brighton Beach Memoirs on Broadway.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I think I auditioned for that as well. Old the
hell were they thinking? Why didn't they cast?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
And I'm on my like eighth audition and.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Like, backstage did you go to you had an agency?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I got sent in, I got sent Oh my god, Okay,
that's it. And the passing director, like Homecide, is like,
this is yours to lose and that I.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Did that's pre Why would they say that?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
And then I get to like the final callback and
it's one of my best friends from summer camp is
right next to me. He got it, he got it.
How'd you feel like it felt? I was like, oh, well,
that's like my different life that I'm not going to
have anymore. But even then I was like, I don't know.
(17:48):
I've always been very good at getting over things fast.
I told I told a story recently, but like I
need to have like one intense moment like the last
show that I had sold. I spent four years in development.
They put me through Hellianna and and takes forever. But
(18:10):
even then, it was like I had had one before
that where I really like, I put my foot down.
I was like, this is not how it's supposed to be.
That didn't work. So this one I was like, your
notes are incredible. I was like, wait what I never
would have thought of that, right right right, look like
I did everything the way they wanted and it's and
(18:30):
then like it still didn't go. And I got the
call and I was like driving up my driveway and
there was like, uh, there's like a pole there, and
I like stop, I go, I's going to hit the pole.
I just drove the Yeah, felt amazing. It felt amazing.
Recommend if you can afford like a little bit of
(18:51):
bumper damage. Yeah, yeah, really felt amazing. But then but
then I was over it. Then I was like, Okay,
onto the next. So I don't get I I really like,
I I'm grateful for that in myself that I'm like
I pushed through things like I just barrel barrel through it,
and I'm like, what are we what are we doing next?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Fam even doing Yeah, Well, there's a resiliency that I
think is that you have to have. Yeah, if you're
gonna if you're gonna play in this. You just have to,
you know you Yeah, and you cry and then you're
like Okay, what's next?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah yeah, and make it happen. And I want to
do a lot of things in my life and a
lot of like different thing. Keith Herring is like my boy.
Oh yeah, And I read his journals when I was
like eighteen, and he kind of changed my perspective on
everything because not even just career, like he managed to
like just do so much like it. I went to
(19:49):
an exhibition a couple of years ago that was like
eighty one to eighty four the year those years, and
it was like sixty thousand paintings, was like, but then
it was like diaries and how he's like has this
incredible lover that he's fucking every night and they're going
to parties every night and he's hanging He's had like
(20:10):
like his sex life was amazing, his friendships were amazing,
his social life was amazing, and he was making sixty
thousands and hanging out with children like he was like
had children following me around being like like we love you.
It was like who are you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
What a world?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What the world? That was an I made the discovery
with David Lynch because his with his recent passing, his
archives and people. They were assembling the archives and I
went to visit the house, you know, and see them,
and they were cataloging everything, and I was like, and nice,
I had no idea. I mean, I knew he'd loved
to pay it. He did a lot. He was always
(20:50):
engaged in something creative every day. But he was so prolific.
There was so much. There's so much to his archive,
and how did he have time to do all this?
I don't know. I do one thing and I'm so happy.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, and I gotta that I napped, yeah, because I'm tired. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, I love that. You about the experience, yeah, you know,
and and and really getting into the as you said,
the muck or whatever it.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Is, even just like now now a couple of weeks
out of finishing the movie. I mean, the movie is
a lot about drugs, and like you know, drugs and
muck go hand in hand. But it's like when you're
in it in the drugs and like just the how
the layers of even one night on drugs and how
many different emotions you can have on one night and
(21:38):
the highs and lows that can happen so deeply, and
then I would get I told myself I wasn't going
to party for like pre production production, and then like
I would have a night out after I ended up.
We had like a day where we had one more
day off, so I was like, okay, I'll go out
one night for one of the cast members birthdays. Had
so much fun, was, you know, doing my drugs, doing
(22:01):
my thing. Then I got home and like I felt
the feeling that made me write the movie, and I
was just like, oh, why do I do this to myself?
Like why like this, Like I feel so horrible now,
and I'm like, this is my one opportunity to make
this movie and I fucked everything up, and it's like
you just get into these like spirals when you do
(22:23):
a lot of drugs. I also needed to be in
that space for the next like week of production to
really to really get back there, because my characters in
that space for.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Most of the movie.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
So I think, I don't know, it's like all everything
is important, even the times that feel just like oh,
I'm like I feel horrible, Like this couldn't feel worse.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Your perspective is, yeah, is really important? And I think
you have a very strong point of view. Yeah, whether
it's coming from inside or something you're sort of relating
to on the outside or writing about. Yeah, you're because
you're the characters that you've done, even the brief ones
on TikTok, some of these other characters and the skits
that you do are really specific and they're funny and
(23:08):
they're they're revealing. They succeed on a couple of different levels,
I think, which is I think is the success of
anything with social So we try to do you try
to level levels.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
That's what they don't understand a lot of the people
that are not good at it. And especially when you
get like a brand brief, Yeah, they're like and then
you say yeah, you're like like men love travel and
then the audience freaks out. But you've done a lot
of brand stuff, So how do you do that? How
do you rectify? You? Hell? Every time? It's every time,
(23:41):
basically hell every time, I like go into full existential
panic because I'm like, it's just like they're asking me
to rip away so much of of me. Like I
don't know to like not to sound super gay about
it all, but it's like like my art is me,
(24:01):
and it's like these you know this, I care about this,
And so when it's like taking stripping away so much
of me and then reducing it to like the one level,
It's it's existential for a lot of ways because I'm like, oh, one,
so that's how you see me, and like you're not
getting any of these other levels. So it makes me
be like, oh my god, how many people are out
(24:23):
there just seeing this like gay clown and when I'm
like trying to do so many other things and then
having to like try to perform it. And I also
am also like the other part of me is like
I am a bitch too, you know, So I'm like
like I can't talk to them without being a little
(24:44):
disrespect Yeah, And so I'm just like I just don't
think this is funny or like I don't get what
this would do. And I'm also coming at it from
someone who's done well online, so then I'm like, this
isn't gonna do well. I tell that to them something.
I was like, I I'll do this. It's gonna get
thirteen likes and and no one will ever buy your
(25:05):
product from this. So if you want something to do
well numbers wise, it's they still might not buy your
product because the product might not be good, but but
I can at least get some more eyes on it
if you just let me do my thing. Yes, but
there's so many levels of corporate and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Is it a compromising reach or do you just try
to try to strive.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
For It's been tough the last couple of years now
that I do, I feel like my internet bag has
like it's been a while since I was really like
kinging out on the Internet. So now I'm like in
this in between space where I'm like, I'm on like
major TV shows now, So it's like I'm trying to
get more into the space where I could just be
(25:52):
like show up and Santori Whiskey Whiskey Forever. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I want to be in my Bill Murray, but I'm
not quite there yet. So I'm in this weird, I'm
comfortable thing where they're like sending me influencer briefs, but
(26:12):
I'm not an influencer anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
So you use that as just a step kind of
into this place, the space where you are now.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, and but I'm just having to wait for those
other jobs to come. But we but we love money.
We need we need we need money to live. We
have to have it and to do the things we want.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
To do, and more importantly, to do the things you
to do.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I'm not trying to be I'm not trying to you know,
be bezos over here. I'm trying to have a nice
little house. Yes, make my art, yes, enough for that
to keep Yeah, exactly, exactly, Yeah, I relate. Yeah, I
feel like your your career has like it's been an
(26:57):
art based career.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
It's lucky, you know, working with David And when I
first met I didn't I didn't understand. Honestly, I was like,
and I knew he was. I loved him as a person,
as a friend and creative and but a lot of
his art and work, I was like, I don't, I
don't understand, but no one really. But then you realize
it's not to bet is the experience, Like, oh, I
(27:21):
get it.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I always felt like Laura Duran understood that from the
get go because of just the kind of person that
she is. Yeah, and you did that wonderful thing that
was really fun.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, that was maybe like the best moment of my life,
one of the best moments of my life because I
had been I mean, she was my number one forever
and I know she's every days number one now, but
I kind of you found her, did that for her.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's like arian ground, you found you exactly, you found.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Making the Laura Duran song and watching her see it
was like, oh wow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
She was genuinely did she know what idea?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I just may? I was like, please make sure she's there. Yeah,
And then like she's there and I was like, let's
see and she you couldn't You see the reaction live
and you're just like, oh, this is the best if.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
They were there on her was so important And it
starts and she's like what yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,
yes it was he hit a beautiful to write it
because you wrote that yeah yeah yeah lyrics of course
and music music as well, and yeah yeah, but she
is super special.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, but has a similar esoteric brain as David. Like
she it's a bit fragmented and it's like it's just
their own thing.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, you summed it up beautifully and I think a
lot of that. I when you look at her parents
Diane Yea, Bruce Den Yeah, I mean eccentric, yes. And
then Laura's eccentric too, and she'll surprise you, you know,
because she's so spiritual everything is, and then she'll like
have a body laugh, you know, something else. So she's
got she can take the piss out of herself really easily.
(28:59):
And she was genuinely thrilled and went with it and
experienced what you did. Have you spoken after?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Oh yeah, I mean, I mean she was very, very
appreciative and like, you know, gave me a big hug,
and then I would hear through the grape vine like
Laura loves you. And then Kaya Gerber had a book
reading and she asked me to write an original thing,
and I kind of threw something together that ended up
being like kind of really good. I should look at
(29:30):
that at some point, but I read it and she
like sent me the most beautiful note after she was like,
I don't know how to message on Instagram, but I'm like,
I found your number and I need to tell you
all this stuff. And I was like, oh my god,
this is like the nicest thing I've ever read. And
then so I started this is this is funny and
I don't think she would mind me telling this story,
(29:53):
but so I started doing the album and I made
this music album secret y Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
A very interesting idea. It's a crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Yeah, and you're a good singer. I could sing yeah.
I say that was like I so like the Theater.
I had hid for a long time because once once
the gays find out you did theater, it's over. What
do you mean, like they will take you down? Orville Peck,
I don't think he's like a pretty big, like a
country like gays singer as Okay, he was about to
(30:29):
blow the fuck up these gays on the internet. Found
a video of him as Peter Pan. His whole career
was like over a day and that he's found his
way back. But he's scaling it and he's great. But
these gays will just do anything to take you down.
So I hit it for a while, but yeah, I
could sing whatever. I have this song that my mom
(30:52):
ended up doing and it's called Mother's Prayer and it's
about edging and gooning. Do you know what this meant?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:00):
You do? You do?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Okay, I have teachers and so like it. It's like
a really beautiful it's actually like it's kind of the
vibe or she's so the vibe is like have you
listened to like a Frank Ocean's album ever, Like you
know his mom voicemail, Like he has these mom voicemail
(31:22):
interludes in.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
The middle No I don't think and.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Blonde and like Scizza has it and hers all these
kind of pop stars have like Grandma interludes of them
giving them these sage wise advices, like like like control
is about whatever, it's always very profound. So I did
my version of it, and it's this kind of like
like the music is very Beverly Glenn Copeland. It's like
(31:45):
beautiful music and it's my mom talking. She's like, hi, honey,
like just checking your okay. Your sister told me you
haven't been edging or gooning recently, so I just wanted
to make sure everything's okay. And then she goes in
this very deep rant about she goes like, you know
when you edge, you you stop and you think and
you start to remember, and like it's all this it's
(32:05):
a meditation on gooning and edging and it's crazy, and
then I love it. Just finishing I was finishing the
album and I was like, oh my god, do I
do I do I get the phone out. I go, hey, Laura,
would you want to do this song with me? Love?
And I sent her the song and I do I
(32:27):
have to read you the text message I got back
because it was it was the even I was like,
even if she doesn't do this, which she didn't, but
even if she doesn't do this, it's the best text
I've ever gotten. So I sent, I sent her the track.
I was like, it's my mom now, but I would
love to replace it fire my mom and put you in. Yeah,
(32:50):
and she goes, hi, So I'm so totally open to
doing it, but explain what is edging and what is
gooning and how is it dirty? And what's the I've
been energy of what you're doing. X x x x
love Laura cut to me sending her the most awkward voicemail.
I'm like, so edging, it's like it has something to
(33:12):
do with masturbation. It's very innocent, like it's just and
then she's like, she's like, I love you so much.
I'm just so busy right now. But I mean to
even get the text from Laura during what is edging
and what is doing and like my job here is done.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
That's a keeper.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, I mean, I would love for everyone to watch.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I love La Rachel, who I really really like. I mean,
and again we had we sat down and we just
and I said, I kind of know you from online,
but yeah, and you know, my admiration for her, which
was already strong, grew like what we say, ten ten
tenfold whatever it was. She's really extraordinary.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
She's she's just a genius and like it really like
she is at the level of all these greats and
doing it in a different way and like people I
think are so easy to compare, and it's like she's
not Lena dunnom No, she's Rachel Senna and she's not
Michael Patrick King. Like she's she's doing her own thing
(34:20):
and it has a different pace and it has a
different like vibe of jokes that you're either going to
get or not, and it's it's fun. It's fun, and
it's like I don't know, there's there's depth, and there's
it's subversive and it's very in its own way. And
I think I think the response right now is like
(34:43):
people are really struggling with it because they're seeing themselves
in it, because they don't realize like this, you know,
whereas Lena was talking about this millennial generation of like
making everything into you know, this deep emotional like, oh,
they're opening a coffee shop, what does that mean for
our like spirit? Like and we're kind of just like
(35:07):
we'll do anything to stay afloat, you know what I mean.
So it's like we're not thinking, and like I think
people are calling this shallow because of that, but it's not.
It's just what it's a reflection of what culture is
right now. And it's like you need to have a
podcast and I and you need to keep getting guests.
And it's like we can't dip on guests. We can't
(35:28):
start getting worse guests. We need to get better guests.
And it's like so everyone is feeling this same thing
right now. It's like nothing is ever enough. We're like
we're on this hamster wheel of like not only trying
to chase relevance but also make our ends meet, and
like this is the way to do it. So I
think that is that is the culture right now. And
(35:51):
Rachel's just commenting on this culture and to me, that
is deep.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And season two we got season y. Season two, that's
the good news. That is a great congratulation, as you should.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I'm so happy. They're like the five of us are.
Like I've said this before, but like Josh makes me
a better man. I'm like, I can't be like a
cunty little bitch your own. I'm like, I'll try to
saying I can't say that. I can't say that to Josh. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Her, her, she's fearless in a similar way, I think,
you know what I mean and jumps into that character
Tulula and God, she's funny. Yeah, her timing is impeccable.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Yeah, and she wrote me a great fucking character too. Yeah,
Like she wrote it better than I could have in
that in that sense, because she knows I like to
go so heady and deep and like sad. She like
kept it. She gave me those emotional moments later, like
towards later in the season. But she just like made
(36:48):
me iconic, you know. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I gets
to be an iconic little bit.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Just what she understands. Yeah, I really genuinely like, I'm
this is really a wonderful conversation. We're gonna go We're
gonna take a break now, We're gonna ta bathroom break
for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
For God, God, after all this coffee.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
But when we come back, we're going to play a
little game which is going to be really fun. It's
called Slam and Monologues Secrets Edition. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
We're going deep because it's a tribute to your iconic
album Secrets, and so you and I will be performing
monologues using lyrics.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Wait to hear you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Oh yeah, I mean I'm all okay, okay, okay. And
and we're back and there's been a power out it No,
I'm just kidding. We were setting the scene for our
Slam and Monologues Secrets Edition.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
We're in a nineties cafe.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It's unbelievable, smoky smoky, yeah, cinnamon crumble. Oh I like
that coffee cake, kind of coffee coffee, dry coffee cake.
We're going to be doing well. We're doing a tribute
to your iconic Secrets album. Okay, so we're gonna do
some poetry. We're performing monologues. We'll be performing monologues using
(38:06):
lyrics from some of your songs in the classic slam
poetry style. All right, we are wearing for those of
you we're not able to see. You have like a
fedora turtle neck turtle neck, I mean me. Yeah, it's
good and I've gotta I've got a scarf.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Scarf. Your shirt says, my shirt says poetry. Slam is
my therapy. Which tea?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I'm telling it like it is naturally. You have a
kind of beard.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Growth that's more of a natural.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yeah, and I think that's just thank you for for making.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
You have You have a spiritual soul patch.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yes, yes, just think first episode of Portland. I imagine
I have a little soul patch. That's okay, So here
we go. I'm gonna start all right. This is this
is from the song I'm quitting my job tomorrow. Yeah,
move to the city for you. I had no plan,
I had no friends, just a big idea of who
(39:08):
you might be to me. Got a job. We go
on dates like once a week. You say you're busy,
see you sitting switching, twitching, streaming. Oh, don't quit your
job tomorrow. If it's just about words, then of course
(39:33):
I'll say I'm sorry. It's just me. My mom and
dad got a divorce and it made me sad.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Yeah, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
This is I'm I lesbian. I think I know that
I'm grounded. I think I know I'm from Tennessee. I
think I know I don't like peppers. I think I
(40:07):
know that my heart broke at eighteen. I think I
know my mom was a teacher. I think I know
people use you for kicks. I think I know that
it's so hard to reach her. I think I know
that I'm used to her tricks. I've learned a lot
(40:29):
in my thirty three years. But the only one objective
truth is I'm I lesbian and I ate my best
friend out in a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yes, that's a story. That's a story I love.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Well. So. So the premise is people submitted me their
secrets while they were drunk online. Many people were so
drunk there were typos. So someone wrote I'm I lesbian
and like, there you go.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
And that's the song, the song, and somehow it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
It's perfect.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, yeah, speaking of drunk, yeah, exactly from the song
passed out drunk making Mac and Cheese, woke up to
a fire man in my apartment. I've been laughing a lot.
Is it funny or not? I think we both know
(41:31):
that it's probably not.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
We're laughing, but it's not. Yeah, these are really quite amazing.
I mean, this is.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
This is this is a lot to this. This was your.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Idea to have people write their secrets to you, and
initially you posted them and then you decided, you know what, let's.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Make there's more to this music.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I agree, I feel like I should be holding it on.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
So this is about you, know this, This song is
obviously about how all of us can really only come
with a loaded gun in her hand right now? And
this political culture culture. Okay, the man who raised you,
who loved you and spanked you, he can only come
with a loaded gun in his hand. Both the peasants
(42:28):
and kings, your landlord, Miranda sings, she can only come
with a loaded gun in her hand. Maybe niche for you,
but okay, this is my favorite. Oh our family line
is cursed. Please lady, hold my purse so I can
(42:48):
grab my gun and come show me you're tired, you're poor,
your huddled masses, grab your glock and shake your asses?
Is that the vibe we want? Who are you? And
who are you? Can you only come with a loaded
(43:10):
gun in your hand? Well, if it's true, If it's true,
if it's true, if it's true, well you got problems, man.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
That's brilliant. Oh my god. Yeah, wow, Deep.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
You know deep, you gotta go, there, you gotta go. Yeah. Yeah, Well,
because album, I think I think I'm secreted out for
a bit. That album took a lot of goddamn work. Yeah,
I think it was underrated. Yes, because, honestly, listen, I
made a very niche comedy album with seventeen tracks on it,
all different genres, like it's gonna take people some time
(43:47):
to get into the bottom.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Understand. Yeah, and understand. But you work with some really
amazing musicians.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
The song, I mean, the production is amazing. I recommend
anyone starts to finish ish. Yeah, it's a it's a
great album.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yeah. I listened to some of some of the tracks
and I agree with you. It's a really well, pretty
good album. Yeah, and got a great voice.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Thanks, there you go.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
That's really fun. Jordan's so we we've come to the
end of what are we even doing? I don't know
if we figured out what are we even doing? But
we had a good time.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
We had a good time. Everything we got, I think
we took we got a little, we took a few
bites out of it. What else, what's happening? What's next?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You've got more just your next thing, so know, yeah,
keep out for some news about the movie. We're still editing,
so it's like, you know it'll be in the next
year's great.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
What's it's called Club Club Kid? Okay?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Good?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
And then just yeah, I love the premise. It's a
cute one.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
It is cute. It's I think there's there's a lot
of mileage there.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, heart.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, and I think that you are great when you're surprised, Yeah,
with a story like what Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I think people don't expect me to to like have
the heart and dropped in. I think it's like the
people who know me know I have it, but I
think I, for some reason give this other image sometimes.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Well now I know you, this is yeah, this is
actually I know you. I know who you are. Now
I know more of who you are. There's a lot
in there. Yeah, thank you, Thanks, it has been a
great one.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Thank you. What Are We Even Doing is a production
of iHeartMedia and the Elvis Duran podcast network, hosted by
me Kyle McLachlin and created and produced by Full Picture
productionists Yay, featuring music by Yata and artwork by Danica Robinson.
For more information about the podcast, please visit our Instagram
(45:36):
and TikTok at wa w ed with Kyle. Please rate, review,
and subscribe to What Are We Even Doing on Apple, Spotify, YouTube,
or anywhere you get your podcasts. Exclamation points
We thrive on being amused, but we also like to
be director daddy. Oh thank you, my ised owed Cortato.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The hell were they thinking? Why didn't think as that
is my tea?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I think this is getting an oscar.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I like the directing is basically leading a military campaign.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Busted out CBS. They did comedy there. He's acting pretty
gay in that pose. Once the gays find out you
did theater, it is over. I am a bitch. Grab
your glock and shake your asses. What do we even do?
What are we even doing?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm Kyle McLaughlin. I'm the host of What are We
Even Doing? Where we talk with people try to figure
out what are we even doing? Artists, musicians create as
all type and we discuss the thing that interests me most,
which is creative process. So we're going to talk today
with you are a multi hyphen it. I'm sorry that's
an overused word, but actor, comedian, producer, musical artist and
(01:01):
according to Paper magazine. I don't know if you remember
this your favorite celebrities, favorite celebrity, but I feel like
there should be another layer. You are everywhere Jordan during
first one was with ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, who yeah,
who I.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Want to go back. I want to go back because
I'm not Okay, it's like favorite celebrities, favorite celebrity. That's
that doesn't really make sense because it's like everyone has
a different favorite celebrity, Like I'm not Timothy Shallam's favorite celebrity.
Tell you that much.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Are you sure he hates me?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Now him?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
You know? I mean like no, I think there's a
couple of people out there that like me, so it
would it would have to be their favorite celebrity.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's just the creative because I've interviewed a few people
now a kind of in the same creative community. I
don't know how to say it, and you are everywhere,
and I think maybe what this is speaking to is
more that your creative energy, which is thick and multi hued,
(02:03):
I don't know how else to put it, is huge
in you're like you're a muse.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Okay, So this is a conversation that Rachel Senna and
I have a lot, okay where it's like we both
and and not to sound too you know, up our
own ass or pretentious, but like we both really like
we thrive on being amused, but we also like to
be like director Daddy and have our muses. So it's
(02:30):
like do we want to be the muse or have
the muse? And like we're kind of constantly oscillating between
those things.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Which is impressive, I think and essential. And I'm trying
to think if I I sort of know what you mean,
but you you are both very successful thinking about myself
and who I've been a mused for you and we
think of David Lynch of course, but but I've always
been more comfortable in that role and not necessarily out
(02:59):
in front. You love being I love working with him
in that world because it was so singular.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, when you have someone like David, it's like you're
gonna like have God in front of you being like,
actually I want to do my own thing.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So it's like you you have you when you trust
a master like that who can actually like I and
he's a bit of a shaman too, so he can
kind of like do this weird voodoo spiritual surgery on
you and like make bring out things and emotions you
didn't know you had or you didn't know you were
capable of.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yes, no, that you described it beautifully. I think creates
the environment I think, where you can dig into places
that you just allow them. Really, you know, it's not
an intellectual journey as much as it is you're just
feeling your way through.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, And he was so easy.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
On the sad and gentle, very focused and specific, but
made the environment experience really wonderful, which is why so
many actors speak so highly of him. Yeah, just the
greatest guy. Just very human, very engaging, very inclusive, and
it just was a beautiful place to be. I think
of you, I think as also bringing a tremendous amount
of joy to what you do. When you work, you're
(04:12):
always having it seems like you're always that's where you live, right,
I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, that's it's fun has always been really important to me.
It was funny. I had like a really abusive, like
toxic relationship for like my first four years of my
twenty or from like twenty four to twenty eight that
like really made me believe that like fun was the
most evil thing that a person can possess. And he
(04:36):
really resented my like natural ability to have and curate fun,
and so I thought maybe that was bad for a while,
and then it's taken you know, the last couple of
years to realize like that is my tea, Like that
is what makes me special. And then like I just
wrapped my first feature, directing Yes Yes, Gratulations two weeks ago,
(05:01):
and I was looking around that set and I'm like,
this is to come from a place of fun and presence.
Like fun mixed with presence creates. So it's so many
ideas that you would never have that rather than coming
from a place of like constraint and like work and
(05:22):
focus and like and there's parts of that too. Sure
when you're in that mode of having fun, just like
infinite infinite ideas come.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Infinite creativity and infinite energy. Yeah, which is the other
thing because you've got you get to the end of
the day and you're exhausted. At the same time you're like, wow,
that was really something fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, it's kind of a cliche to be like it's
therapy or like, oh, like I'm working through stuff, But
I'm like, my work is me working through stuff, and
like that's always how it is gonna be for me.
When I'm writing, I often don't know what I'm writing about,
and then until after I'm like, whoa, that's like about
(06:08):
something very deep and hidden in me that maybe I
wasn't aware how to put it into words or to
put it into feelings. Then you have the script process
where're like, okay, like I know what I'm saying now what.
I know what I'm saying about life, and I know
what I'm saying about my experience, and like what all.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
These characters yeah into that place.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
And then you start shooting and all these other huge
feelings come out and they're way more elusive, and I'm
like I had, I had the opposite of abstract, Like
I work on this script for three years. Every line
means something, and then you start doing it and you're like, whoa,
now it's feeling. Yeah, and I'm feeling all these things
right now and I don't know what they mean, but
(06:53):
I'm crying yes, and I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well that's the mark of a great script, then.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I would hope. So, I mean, this is this was
just my experience, like I had this. It was the
most emotional. I cried every day. I would go to
set crying, cathartic for you, sometimes crying because I'm like, oh,
I'm banking the worst movie ever made. And then on
the way home and be like, I think this is
getting an oscar. Yeah, it was like the ups and
(07:21):
downs of making a film are like no one prepared,
no one can prepare you. It's like no, it's I
think people don't get it. It's like and they look
at film and TV and whatever are from the outside
and they're like basically like love it, hate it, Like
like they're just like yes, no, move on, and it's
like the actual process is insane. It's insane and it
(07:46):
doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, and it's just a click of a button. Yeah, yeah,
thanks for those three years. Yeah, Directing is is you're
basically leading a military campaign. I mean, it's crazy. And
you have to have access to language. Obviously a visual medium,
you've got to be able to tell the story visually.
You have to know sound. You don't have to know rhythm,
(08:09):
you have to know music. You have to be able
to work with people, you have to be able to
express I mean, there are so many things you got
to be good at, you know what I mean. Or
have people that are with you that are able to
help you, you know, and surround yourself with people that
can sort of all your lieutenants, you know. But I
feel like because of your vast interests. I feel like
you and you have a lot to say. This is
(08:29):
going to be an interesting journey. I'm excited to see
what you do with this as a director. Yeah, I
think you're going to be very good.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I think I did a good job. I'm like the
second I started pre production and this is like, you know,
I'm thirty four, I've been trying to do this a
long time. I've had a lot of I've done a
lot of other different things. Yeah, directed some shorts in
my twenties, but this is my first, like you know,
had some money, not a lot of them, but but.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Just enough to get it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah. The second we started pre production, I was like,
it was that feeling like maybe people get when they
start their first job or whatever. I was like, oh,
this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Okay, Like
this is it and like love acting. Could do Rachel's
show for a million years. It's so fun Like I
like being funny too, so that's another thing.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But yeah, your timing is excellent.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah, you don't stand up. I don't even know if I.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Know I had I the when I funny story I
first moved to La I went to one like random
show because I guess I wanted to see like Mark
Marin or something. I was like in move my early
twenties were like I was like I was into Awasca
but also Mark Marin and Duncan Trussel and like I
(09:51):
just podcasts.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yes, I was really, well, welcome, he is coming back.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I was listening to Joe Rogan. I'll say it the day.
You know, it wasn't as real guinea back then. You know,
he had some mystical people on, but I got.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I guessed, yeah, she runs yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah. So I went to this one show and this
like crazy lady like I talked to after and she
was like, you should come to like come to my
next show and you and you can like perform a set.
I'll try performing a set. We get there, she's like, okay,
so I'm going to go. You just host the show.
(10:28):
And she's like, just do your thing like you're funny.
I'm like, we've never talked. You don't know that I'm funny.
And then basically the next like month or two of
my life was spent trying to figure out how to
run this show she was. She never came back. She goes,
this is your show now and I had never done it.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Was it a gift?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Or was it was the worst moments of my life.
It was like I was like I was doing a
room full of like six to eight people in and
like a bar at four pm in the day and
like in October and a really hot and I was like,
what am I doing or talking about? I would like
(11:09):
I would just like sing dream Girls, like I don't
even know what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I was doing whatever whatever content.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, And then so I that was my one and
only experience dandom experience. I go, I don't think I'm
going to do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You are up for anything kind of it feels like
the experience for you is what's most important. Yeah, and
you throw yourself into it without judgment. It feels like
and you just go, hey, I'm going in all the way. Yeah,
let's let's And you're like, you want to you want
to swim to the bottom, figure it out.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I don't know, it's a yeah, the muck.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I like the muck getting into that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Definitely. I'm trying to get to like the bottom of
me all the time. And like I've done I mean,
this year, my whole twenties also spent like years of
iowask and like doing all of that, really going far
down that road, getting stuck in a few minor cults
that weren't real cults, but they could be cults, you know,
(12:10):
that kind of vibe exploring. Yeah, but still always had
this side of me that was like insanely ambitious, and
I was like, I will like right for TV by
twenty four and I did that, and like so I
don't know, I would have these double lives, but then
I would leave for three months and go like like
fuck a thousand guys in Europe and then come back
(12:31):
and like, I don't know, continue Like I don't know.
I think I've just I'm I've moved around a lot,
I've like been part of many subcultures. I've always gotten
along with everyone. Yeah, Like that's that's kind of like
the main constant in my life that I get along
with a lot of people. So I can find myself
(12:52):
in weird situations or great situations, and I think that
kind of has an informed everything and maybe what's to come.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, Yeah, because I've You're very it seems to be
very open. Once you engage in a situation, you're like, well,
let's just explore this, yeah, and and open yourself up
to it. And I know, creatives and speaking as an actor,
it's like that's part of the process. I just feel
like in your case, it's like you you know, you're
(13:27):
jumping out of the plane and you're like you're going
to pull the record at the very last second. Yeah,
you know, just enough to say, you know what I mean,
because you want the full experience you East Coast right.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I think the summer camp experiences out there are very
power and you go back again and again and again,
and you really was it. You remember the camp's name
that you were.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I do do you want to say you know it
is a theater camp. I'll say it. Okay, I'll say
it myself. I was a theater kid. Nothing wrong with that, hey,
nothing something wrong with that? Well, it depends because now, honestly,
I think like theater kids can breed two types of people,
(14:09):
kids who grew up really fast by these like you
know you're a kid that's in the songheim you're growing
up some very adult universal truths and we understand those
lyrics like somehow it's sixteen, you're like every day a
little death.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yes, yes, yes, very heavy, very very heavy.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
But then they're the ones that go the the like
I'm a cutthroat serial killer, sociopath theater kid. Yes, and
you still run into them because they go they go
up and they're all around us and we just don't
know too exactly. But yes, I went to a camp
called Stage Door Manor and New York of State, New York.
(14:52):
I mean it was so fun. It's like you got
to be around a bunch of like kids that had
your exact same obsession. It was like all gay boys,
Like what was going on in those bunks? You don't
want to know? Figure it out. We had to figure
it out. We had it down on lock.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
No. But it was great and like still some great
friendships and we were all very like our friend group
is very ambitious too, so it's like seeing where everyone
went it is cool. And you know, one of my
one of my best friends from camp is now like
like pretty high up at Vanity Fair and just interviewed
me for Vanity Fair and I'm like, that's such a
(15:36):
cool thing to like we did Secret Garden together when
we were like fourteen, so it's yeah, it's nice to
like see.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To share that experience.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yeah, exactly, that's very cool.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, but I also think being in the theater camp
upstate New York. You're close to New York City. This
is where you go. So film and TV was not
when you started, wasn't the thing. You were a theater.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I was the kid that was like we were living
on Long Island. I was like, Mom, Dad, you don't
need to worry about this. You wouldn't even know how
to do it if you tried. I'm going to go
get an agent in the city. I'm fourteen years old.
I got I'm going to head in the city, get
an agent. You yell, sit back. You wouldn't even know.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
So were they connected it all to the industry or no?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
No, they were like journalists for a newspaper.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, yeah right so writers.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Writers writers, Yeah, different type of writing. And I made
it happen. Got myself a little bunk ass agent, like
like you would walk into the office and it's just
like file like you were like walk through paths of
these huge yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're too white for
(16:44):
lion king. We can't give you a lion king.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
That's a classic New York I know that. I know that,
But there's a certain smell that comes with that I.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Remember the smell vividly. Oh my god. Yeah. I was
like acting and acting, And then I got really close
to being in the revival of Brighton Beach Memoirs on Broadway.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I think I auditioned for that as well. Old the
hell were they thinking? Why didn't they cast?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
And I'm on my like eighth audition and.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Like, backstage did you go to you had an agency?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I got sent in, I got sent Oh my god, Okay,
that's it. And the passing director, like Homecide, is like,
this is yours to lose and that I.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Did that's pre Why would they say that?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
And then I get to like the final callback and
it's one of my best friends from summer camp is
right next to me. He got it, he got it.
How'd you feel like it felt? I was like, oh, well,
that's like my different life that I'm not going to
have anymore. But even then I was like, I don't know.
(17:48):
I've always been very good at getting over things fast.
I told I told a story recently, but like I
need to have like one intense moment like the last
show that I had sold. I spent four years in development.
They put me through Hellianna and and takes forever. But
(18:10):
even then, it was like I had had one before
that where I really like, I put my foot down.
I was like, this is not how it's supposed to be.
That didn't work. So this one I was like, your
notes are incredible. I was like, wait what I never
would have thought of that, right right right, look like
I did everything the way they wanted and it's and
(18:30):
then like it still didn't go. And I got the
call and I was like driving up my driveway and
there was like, uh, there's like a pole there, and
I like stop, I go, I's going to hit the pole.
I just drove the Yeah, felt amazing. It felt amazing.
Recommend if you can afford like a little bit of
(18:51):
bumper damage. Yeah, yeah, really felt amazing. But then but
then I was over it. Then I was like, Okay,
onto the next. So I don't get I I really like,
I I'm grateful for that in myself that I'm like
I pushed through things like I just barrel barrel through it,
and I'm like, what are we what are we doing next?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Fam even doing Yeah, Well, there's a resiliency that I
think is that you have to have. Yeah, if you're
gonna if you're gonna play in this. You just have to,
you know you Yeah, and you cry and then you're
like Okay, what's next?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah yeah, and make it happen. And I want to
do a lot of things in my life and a
lot of like different thing. Keith Herring is like my boy.
Oh yeah, And I read his journals when I was
like eighteen, and he kind of changed my perspective on
everything because not even just career, like he managed to
like just do so much like it. I went to
(19:49):
an exhibition a couple of years ago that was like
eighty one to eighty four the year those years, and
it was like sixty thousand paintings, was like, but then
it was like diaries and how he's like has this
incredible lover that he's fucking every night and they're going
to parties every night and he's hanging He's had like
(20:10):
like his sex life was amazing, his friendships were amazing,
his social life was amazing, and he was making sixty
thousands and hanging out with children like he was like
had children following me around being like like we love you.
It was like who are you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
What a world?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What the world? That was an I made the discovery
with David Lynch because his with his recent passing, his
archives and people. They were assembling the archives and I
went to visit the house, you know, and see them,
and they were cataloging everything, and I was like, and nice,
I had no idea. I mean, I knew he'd loved
to pay it. He did a lot. He was always
(20:50):
engaged in something creative every day. But he was so prolific.
There was so much. There's so much to his archive,
and how did he have time to do all this?
I don't know. I do one thing and I'm so happy.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, and I gotta that I napped, yeah, because I'm tired. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, I love that. You about the experience, yeah, you know,
and and and really getting into the as you said,
the muck or whatever it.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Is, even just like now now a couple of weeks
out of finishing the movie. I mean, the movie is
a lot about drugs, and like you know, drugs and
muck go hand in hand. But it's like when you're
in it in the drugs and like just the how
the layers of even one night on drugs and how
many different emotions you can have on one night and
(21:38):
the highs and lows that can happen so deeply, and
then I would get I told myself I wasn't going
to party for like pre production production, and then like
I would have a night out after I ended up.
We had like a day where we had one more
day off, so I was like, okay, I'll go out
one night for one of the cast members birthdays. Had
so much fun, was, you know, doing my drugs, doing
(22:01):
my thing. Then I got home and like I felt
the feeling that made me write the movie, and I
was just like, oh, why do I do this to myself?
Like why like this, Like I feel so horrible now,
and I'm like, this is my one opportunity to make
this movie and I fucked everything up, and it's like
you just get into these like spirals when you do
(22:23):
a lot of drugs. I also needed to be in
that space for the next like week of production to
really to really get back there, because my characters in
that space for.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Most of the movie.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
So I think, I don't know, it's like all everything
is important, even the times that feel just like oh,
I'm like I feel horrible, Like this couldn't feel worse.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Your perspective is, yeah, is really important? And I think
you have a very strong point of view. Yeah, whether
it's coming from inside or something you're sort of relating
to on the outside or writing about. Yeah, you're because
you're the characters that you've done, even the brief ones
on TikTok, some of these other characters and the skits
that you do are really specific and they're funny and
(23:08):
they're they're revealing. They succeed on a couple of different levels,
I think, which is I think is the success of
anything with social So we try to do you try
to level levels.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
That's what they don't understand a lot of the people
that are not good at it. And especially when you
get like a brand brief, Yeah, they're like and then
you say yeah, you're like like men love travel and
then the audience freaks out. But you've done a lot
of brand stuff, So how do you do that? How
do you rectify? You? Hell? Every time? It's every time,
(23:41):
basically hell every time, I like go into full existential
panic because I'm like, it's just like they're asking me
to rip away so much of of me. Like I
don't know to like not to sound super gay about
it all, but it's like like my art is me,
(24:01):
and it's like these you know this, I care about this,
And so when it's like taking stripping away so much
of me and then reducing it to like the one level,
It's it's existential for a lot of ways because I'm like, oh, one,
so that's how you see me, and like you're not
getting any of these other levels. So it makes me
be like, oh my god, how many people are out
(24:23):
there just seeing this like gay clown and when I'm
like trying to do so many other things and then
having to like try to perform it. And I also
am also like the other part of me is like
I am a bitch too, you know, So I'm like
like I can't talk to them without being a little
(24:44):
disrespect Yeah, And so I'm just like I just don't
think this is funny or like I don't get what
this would do. And I'm also coming at it from
someone who's done well online, so then I'm like, this
isn't gonna do well. I tell that to them something.
I was like, I I'll do this. It's gonna get
thirteen likes and and no one will ever buy your
(25:05):
product from this. So if you want something to do
well numbers wise, it's they still might not buy your
product because the product might not be good, but but
I can at least get some more eyes on it
if you just let me do my thing. Yes, but
there's so many levels of corporate and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Is it a compromising reach or do you just try
to try to strive.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
For It's been tough the last couple of years now
that I do, I feel like my internet bag has
like it's been a while since I was really like
kinging out on the Internet. So now I'm like in
this in between space where I'm like, I'm on like
major TV shows now, So it's like I'm trying to
get more into the space where I could just be
(25:52):
like show up and Santori Whiskey Whiskey Forever. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I want to be in my Bill Murray, but I'm
not quite there yet. So I'm in this weird, I'm
comfortable thing where they're like sending me influencer briefs, but
(26:12):
I'm not an influencer anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
So you use that as just a step kind of
into this place, the space where you are now.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, and but I'm just having to wait for those
other jobs to come. But we but we love money.
We need we need we need money to live. We
have to have it and to do the things we want.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
To do, and more importantly, to do the things you
to do.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I'm not trying to be I'm not trying to you know,
be bezos over here. I'm trying to have a nice
little house. Yes, make my art, yes, enough for that
to keep Yeah, exactly, exactly, Yeah, I relate. Yeah, I
feel like your your career has like it's been an
(26:57):
art based career.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
It's lucky, you know, working with David And when I
first met I didn't I didn't understand. Honestly, I was like,
and I knew he was. I loved him as a person,
as a friend and creative and but a lot of
his art and work, I was like, I don't, I
don't understand, but no one really. But then you realize
it's not to bet is the experience, Like, oh, I
(27:21):
get it.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I always felt like Laura Duran understood that from the
get go because of just the kind of person that
she is. Yeah, and you did that wonderful thing that
was really fun.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, that was maybe like the best moment of my life,
one of the best moments of my life because I
had been I mean, she was my number one forever
and I know she's every days number one now, but
I kind of you found her, did that for her.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's like arian ground, you found you exactly, you found.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Making the Laura Duran song and watching her see it
was like, oh wow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
She was genuinely did she know what idea?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I just may? I was like, please make sure she's there. Yeah,
And then like she's there and I was like, let's
see and she you couldn't You see the reaction live
and you're just like, oh, this is the best if.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
They were there on her was so important And it
starts and she's like what yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,
yes it was he hit a beautiful to write it
because you wrote that yeah yeah yeah lyrics of course
and music music as well, and yeah yeah, but she
is super special.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, but has a similar esoteric brain as David. Like
she it's a bit fragmented and it's like it's just
their own thing.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, you summed it up beautifully and I think a
lot of that. I when you look at her parents
Diane Yea, Bruce Den Yeah, I mean eccentric, yes. And
then Laura's eccentric too, and she'll surprise you, you know,
because she's so spiritual everything is, and then she'll like
have a body laugh, you know, something else. So she's
got she can take the piss out of herself really easily.
(28:59):
And she was genuinely thrilled and went with it and
experienced what you did. Have you spoken after?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Oh yeah, I mean, I mean she was very, very
appreciative and like, you know, gave me a big hug,
and then I would hear through the grape vine like
Laura loves you. And then Kaya Gerber had a book
reading and she asked me to write an original thing,
and I kind of threw something together that ended up
being like kind of really good. I should look at
(29:30):
that at some point, but I read it and she
like sent me the most beautiful note after she was like,
I don't know how to message on Instagram, but I'm like,
I found your number and I need to tell you
all this stuff. And I was like, oh my god,
this is like the nicest thing I've ever read. And
then so I started this is this is funny and
I don't think she would mind me telling this story,
(29:53):
but so I started doing the album and I made
this music album secret y Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, which is.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
A very interesting idea. It's a crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Yeah, and you're a good singer. I could sing yeah.
I say that was like I so like the Theater.
I had hid for a long time because once once
the gays find out you did theater, it's over. What
do you mean, like they will take you down? Orville Peck,
I don't think he's like a pretty big, like a
country like gays singer as Okay, he was about to
(30:29):
blow the fuck up these gays on the internet. Found
a video of him as Peter Pan. His whole career
was like over a day and that he's found his
way back. But he's scaling it and he's great. But
these gays will just do anything to take you down.
So I hit it for a while, but yeah, I
could sing whatever. I have this song that my mom
(30:52):
ended up doing and it's called Mother's Prayer and it's
about edging and gooning. Do you know what this meant?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:00):
You do? You do?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Okay, I have teachers and so like it. It's like
a really beautiful it's actually like it's kind of the
vibe or she's so the vibe is like have you
listened to like a Frank Ocean's album ever, Like you
know his mom voicemail, Like he has these mom voicemail
(31:22):
interludes in.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
The middle No I don't think and.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Blonde and like Scizza has it and hers all these
kind of pop stars have like Grandma interludes of them
giving them these sage wise advices, like like like control
is about whatever, it's always very profound. So I did
my version of it, and it's this kind of like
like the music is very Beverly Glenn Copeland. It's like
(31:45):
beautiful music and it's my mom talking. She's like, hi, honey,
like just checking your okay. Your sister told me you
haven't been edging or gooning recently, so I just wanted
to make sure everything's okay. And then she goes in
this very deep rant about she goes like, you know
when you edge, you you stop and you think and
you start to remember, and like it's all this it's
(32:05):
a meditation on gooning and edging and it's crazy, and
then I love it. Just finishing I was finishing the
album and I was like, oh my god, do I
do I do I get the phone out. I go, hey, Laura,
would you want to do this song with me? Love?
And I sent her the song and I do I
(32:27):
have to read you the text message I got back
because it was it was the even I was like,
even if she doesn't do this, which she didn't, but
even if she doesn't do this, it's the best text
I've ever gotten. So I sent, I sent her the track.
I was like, it's my mom now, but I would
love to replace it fire my mom and put you in. Yeah,
(32:50):
and she goes, hi, So I'm so totally open to
doing it, but explain what is edging and what is
gooning and how is it dirty? And what's the I've
been energy of what you're doing. X x x x
love Laura cut to me sending her the most awkward voicemail.
I'm like, so edging, it's like it has something to
(33:12):
do with masturbation. It's very innocent, like it's just and
then she's like, she's like, I love you so much.
I'm just so busy right now. But I mean to
even get the text from Laura during what is edging
and what is doing and like my job here is done.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
That's a keeper.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, I mean, I would love for everyone to watch.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I love La Rachel, who I really really like. I mean,
and again we had we sat down and we just
and I said, I kind of know you from online,
but yeah, and you know, my admiration for her, which
was already strong, grew like what we say, ten ten
tenfold whatever it was. She's really extraordinary.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
She's she's just a genius and like it really like
she is at the level of all these greats and
doing it in a different way and like people I
think are so easy to compare, and it's like she's
not Lena dunnom No, she's Rachel Senna and she's not
Michael Patrick King. Like she's she's doing her own thing
(34:20):
and it has a different pace and it has a
different like vibe of jokes that you're either going to
get or not, and it's it's fun. It's fun, and
it's like I don't know, there's there's depth, and there's
it's subversive and it's very in its own way. And
I think I think the response right now is like
(34:43):
people are really struggling with it because they're seeing themselves
in it, because they don't realize like this, you know,
whereas Lena was talking about this millennial generation of like
making everything into you know, this deep emotional like, oh,
they're opening a coffee shop, what does that mean for
our like spirit? Like and we're kind of just like
(35:07):
we'll do anything to stay afloat, you know what I mean.
So it's like we're not thinking, and like I think
people are calling this shallow because of that, but it's not.
It's just what it's a reflection of what culture is
right now. And it's like you need to have a
podcast and I and you need to keep getting guests.
And it's like we can't dip on guests. We can't
(35:28):
start getting worse guests. We need to get better guests.
And it's like so everyone is feeling this same thing
right now. It's like nothing is ever enough. We're like
we're on this hamster wheel of like not only trying
to chase relevance but also make our ends meet, and
like this is the way to do it. So I
think that is that is the culture right now. And
(35:51):
Rachel's just commenting on this culture and to me, that
is deep.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And season two we got season y. Season two, that's
the good news. That is a great congratulation, as you should.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I'm so happy. They're like the five of us are.
Like I've said this before, but like Josh makes me
a better man. I'm like, I can't be like a
cunty little bitch your own. I'm like, I'll try to
saying I can't say that. I can't say that to Josh. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Her, her, she's fearless in a similar way, I think,
you know what I mean and jumps into that character
Tulula and God, she's funny. Yeah, her timing is impeccable.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Yeah, and she wrote me a great fucking character too. Yeah,
Like she wrote it better than I could have in
that in that sense, because she knows I like to
go so heady and deep and like sad. She like
kept it. She gave me those emotional moments later, like
towards later in the season. But she just like made
(36:48):
me iconic, you know. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I gets
to be an iconic little bit.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Just what she understands. Yeah, I really genuinely like, I'm
this is really a wonderful conversation. We're gonna go We're
gonna take a break now, We're gonna ta bathroom break
for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
For God, God, after all this coffee.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
But when we come back, we're going to play a
little game which is going to be really fun. It's
called Slam and Monologues Secrets Edition. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
We're going deep because it's a tribute to your iconic
album Secrets, and so you and I will be performing
monologues using lyrics.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Wait to hear you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Oh yeah, I mean I'm all okay, okay, okay. And
and we're back and there's been a power out it No,
I'm just kidding. We were setting the scene for our
Slam and Monologues Secrets Edition.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
We're in a nineties cafe.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It's unbelievable, smoky smoky, yeah, cinnamon crumble. Oh I like
that coffee cake, kind of coffee coffee, dry coffee cake.
We're going to be doing well. We're doing a tribute
to your iconic Secrets album. Okay, so we're gonna do
some poetry. We're performing monologues. We'll be performing monologues using
(38:06):
lyrics from some of your songs in the classic slam
poetry style. All right, we are wearing for those of
you we're not able to see. You have like a
fedora turtle neck turtle neck, I mean me. Yeah, it's
good and I've gotta I've got a scarf.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Scarf. Your shirt says, my shirt says poetry. Slam is
my therapy. Which tea?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I'm telling it like it is naturally. You have a
kind of beard.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Growth that's more of a natural.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Yeah, and I think that's just thank you for for making.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
You have You have a spiritual soul patch.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yes, yes, just think first episode of Portland. I imagine
I have a little soul patch. That's okay, So here
we go. I'm gonna start all right. This is this
is from the song I'm quitting my job tomorrow. Yeah,
move to the city for you. I had no plan,
I had no friends, just a big idea of who
(39:08):
you might be to me. Got a job. We go
on dates like once a week. You say you're busy,
see you sitting switching, twitching, streaming. Oh, don't quit your
job tomorrow. If it's just about words, then of course
(39:33):
I'll say I'm sorry. It's just me. My mom and
dad got a divorce and it made me sad.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Yeah, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
This is I'm I lesbian. I think I know that
I'm grounded. I think I know I'm from Tennessee. I
think I know I don't like peppers. I think I
(40:07):
know that my heart broke at eighteen. I think I
know my mom was a teacher. I think I know
people use you for kicks. I think I know that
it's so hard to reach her. I think I know
that I'm used to her tricks. I've learned a lot
(40:29):
in my thirty three years. But the only one objective
truth is I'm I lesbian and I ate my best
friend out in a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yes, that's a story. That's a story I love.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Well. So. So the premise is people submitted me their
secrets while they were drunk online. Many people were so
drunk there were typos. So someone wrote I'm I lesbian
and like, there you go.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
And that's the song, the song, and somehow it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
It's perfect.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, yeah, speaking of drunk, yeah, exactly from the song
passed out drunk making Mac and Cheese, woke up to
a fire man in my apartment. I've been laughing a lot.
Is it funny or not? I think we both know
(41:31):
that it's probably not.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
We're laughing, but it's not. Yeah, these are really quite amazing.
I mean, this is.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
This is this is a lot to this. This was your.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Idea to have people write their secrets to you, and
initially you posted them and then you decided, you know what, let's.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Make there's more to this music.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I agree, I feel like I should be holding it on.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
So this is about you, know this, This song is
obviously about how all of us can really only come
with a loaded gun in her hand right now? And
this political culture culture. Okay, the man who raised you,
who loved you and spanked you, he can only come
with a loaded gun in his hand. Both the peasants
(42:28):
and kings, your landlord, Miranda sings, she can only come
with a loaded gun in her hand. Maybe niche for you,
but okay, this is my favorite. Oh our family line
is cursed. Please lady, hold my purse so I can
(42:48):
grab my gun and come show me you're tired, you're poor,
your huddled masses, grab your glock and shake your asses?
Is that the vibe we want? Who are you? And
who are you? Can you only come with a loaded
(43:10):
gun in your hand? Well, if it's true, If it's true,
if it's true, if it's true, well you got problems, man.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
That's brilliant. Oh my god. Yeah, wow, Deep.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
You know deep, you gotta go, there, you gotta go. Yeah. Yeah, Well,
because album, I think I think I'm secreted out for
a bit. That album took a lot of goddamn work. Yeah,
I think it was underrated. Yes, because, honestly, listen, I
made a very niche comedy album with seventeen tracks on it,
all different genres, like it's gonna take people some time
(43:47):
to get into the bottom.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Understand. Yeah, and understand. But you work with some really
amazing musicians.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
The song, I mean, the production is amazing. I recommend
anyone starts to finish ish. Yeah, it's a it's a
great album.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yeah. I listened to some of some of the tracks
and I agree with you. It's a really well, pretty
good album. Yeah, and got a great voice.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Thanks, there you go.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
That's really fun. Jordan's so we we've come to the
end of what are we even doing? I don't know
if we figured out what are we even doing? But
we had a good time.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
We had a good time. Everything we got, I think
we took we got a little, we took a few
bites out of it. What else, what's happening? What's next?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You've got more just your next thing, so know, yeah,
keep out for some news about the movie. We're still editing,
so it's like, you know it'll be in the next
year's great.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
What's it's called Club Club Kid? Okay?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Good?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
And then just yeah, I love the premise. It's a
cute one.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
It is cute. It's I think there's there's a lot
of mileage there.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, heart.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, and I think that you are great when you're surprised, Yeah,
with a story like what Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I think people don't expect me to to like have
the heart and dropped in. I think it's like the
people who know me know I have it, but I
think I, for some reason give this other image sometimes.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Well now I know you, this is yeah, this is
actually I know you. I know who you are. Now
I know more of who you are. There's a lot
in there. Yeah, thank you, Thanks, it has been a
great one.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Thank you. What Are We Even Doing is a production
of iHeartMedia and the Elvis Duran podcast network, hosted by
me Kyle McLachlin and created and produced by Full Picture
productionists Yay, featuring music by Yata and artwork by Danica Robinson.
For more information about the podcast, please visit our Instagram
(45:36):
and TikTok at wa w ed with Kyle. Please rate, review,
and subscribe to What Are We Even Doing on Apple, Spotify, YouTube,
or anywhere you get your podcasts. Exclamation points
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