#372: Punch Your Lights Out

#372: Skeery breaks open a pint of ice cream live on the podcast and Brody suspects he has an agenda; Brody tries to grab food from a restaurant and disrupt them as they were about to close and Skeery finds it to be hypocritical; Brody got charged a crazy amount of money for a side of butter; The boys discuss the 30 best living American songwriters list and whose missing and doesn't belong; Brody busts on Skeery because Skeery's interior design person wants to blow all his money on super bougie light switch plates; pretending to work at a job you don't even have

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start Up,
Brooklyn Buys, start up dot dot Up. They making noise
dot up, start.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Up Data dot Up.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Episode three seventy two. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast. What's
going on? David Brody? Not much, Scary Jones. I'm excited
to be back in the saddle, so to speak. We
did Slice Time only a day or two ago, and
now we are back with a Brooklyn Boys episode, and
we have to clarify on Slice Time if you heard it.

(00:36):
We somebody said that they couldn't find episodes zero through
one right when they put the episodes in reverse order,
so oldest would be at the top. So just a reminder,
and I got it wrong. Also a little bit, Scary's
old podcast, off Air is on the same podcast channel,
so that if you watch it, we get credit for it. Right,

(00:56):
So there's one hundred and twenty eight episodes of off air. However,
some of them got switched to Brooklyn Boys logos, so
it's like one hundred episodes of off air, twenty eight
episodes of affair with a Brooklyn Boys logo. Right, and
then it says episode one nine, which is also off air.
But then eventually you get to episode zero, which is

(01:17):
Brooklyn Boys, Yes, and then one, and it's all there.
It never left, just the logo had changed. That's where
the confusion came in. So just know that it's there.
Look for episode zero in the title. Yeah, just keep
scrolling to get to zero and right there you go.
All right, what you what are you doing? While before
I asked that question, how are you eating a sponsor? No,

(01:42):
but they should be a sponsor. What are you eating?
It's called ice cream for bears? Oh? Does it make
you shit in the woods. There's only like four or
five ingredients in this. This is the healthiest ice cream
you can eat. Oh, here we go. No TikTok taught
me that. So they said there's only like two or
three brands out there that's out there that So I said,

(02:03):
you know what, I'm gonna try this stuff and I
went to get some. All it is is milk cream, sugar,
and honey, got it, honey bears, Honey honey bears, and
they come in different flavors. So what about no guar gum? No? Okay, okay,
stop your govon. I don't understand. You have like one

(02:24):
spoon left at the bottom and you read it now.
So here's not a sponsor. I have not, so you
know I've been taking yeah ly meds GLP ones. Yes, sponsor,
and so I bought this ice cream two weeks ago

(02:46):
and it's been sitting in my freezer ever since.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Now, David Brody, how well do you know me?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
You know me pretty How long does ice cream normally
last in my freezer or any any of the time
you get it home from the grocery before it's gone.
That's the point anything now, So now I say, that's
that's the point. That's the point. So people are like,
oh my god, you're eating them. Obviously these GLP ones
aren't working. No, they actually are, because had had I

(03:17):
just been you know, regular scary, I would have straw
on that I would have literally eaten this whole freaking
container in one sitting, probably about two weeks ago, the
day that I got it. Now, so I have a
follow up. I have not touched this ice cream. It's
been sitting. I know that it's I'm aware it's there.
I haven't been out of town. I've it's literally been

(03:38):
in my case, in the freezer case, and I just
don't I don't crave it. But today I'm like this,
I'm gonna treat myself. Yeah, okay, you should treat yourself.
So I figured it out Slices. In case you figured
it out. You know how, you're watching a murder mystery
and somewhere around the hour and a half walk you go,
I got it. I know who it was, right, I
know what just happened, Slices. You may not think Scary

(03:58):
is doing something dishonest, but he is. Well tell you
what he just did. He's eating ice cream on the podcast,
which is unusual. So I said, is that a sponsor?
Because I go, what are you eating? He go, oh, no,
you know Johnson's ice cream. You're like, oh, Johnson's a
sponsor Elvis and yeah, so but he said not a sponsor.
So then I'm like, oh, he's just naturally eating ice cream.
All contrast licens follow me on this one. Scary brought

(04:22):
the ice cream to the podcast. Look his face is
lightening up. He knows where I'm going. He brought the podcast.
He brought the ice cream to the podcast sponsor hold On,
not to promote the ice cream. He brought it to
promote the fact that he hasn't eaten the ice cream.
All in one sitting thanks to his GLP medication. That's
what he did. I bought hit the jingle. Hey, no,

(04:46):
what should hit the jingle for? Because you because you're
eating the ice cream to promote a different sponsor and genius,
but you're guilty hit the jingle, bab I figured out
what what you did? I figured I fought to be
than B two C. There's no other reason you beat

(05:06):
in the ice cream unless they were a sponsor. Or.
It was the road to.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Sponsor, the road to another sponsor.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, ask me about ask me about my ice cream?
Why why am I eating? So? Yes, I gotta I
gotta put this down because it's very good. But I'm
actually getting full, so anyway, stop it. Why am I
getting full? Brody? Because you're on glp's I know. Anyway,
So all right, on with the on with the show.
Oh can we do the show?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Now?

Speaker 1 (05:32):
On with the count, on with the countdown, with the
count gazy kit. You know, that was my first real
paying gig on on Z one hundred. In addition to
being paid a little bit of money to consult the boss,
the big Boss gave me the the the responsibility of
running the Sunday Morning Casey caseon Countdown show right, and

(05:54):
I was on CDs CDs, and so what I would
do is I would have to pop in the CD
and then as the CD was coming to an end,
pause it, put commercials in on on cartridges on carts,
play the commercials, and then play the commercials on the CD.
Back the CD up, play more commercials, and then put
the next track on the CD. And it was like

(06:16):
four CDs over the course of four hours. Put on
the record, put the needle on the record where the
beats go like this, and when the commercial, when the
when the when the CD would go to commercial, I
would have Oh, I would say about seven or eight minutes,
six or seven to eight minutes to wait around for
the everything to end. Right. Oh no, it's scary. So

(06:38):
I would go into the zudio, which was the Zoo studio,
and when the morning show was called the Zoo, I
would go into the zudio and do production. Usually I
would just make like CD copies or DVD copies of
my song parodies. I would kill two birds at one stone.
But every once in a while I would lose track
of time and the commercials would end and it'd be
nothing but deadhead and then the phones would light up

(07:00):
and they'd be like, oh, I don't hear anything. I
got sorry, sorry about that, I got technical are Luckily
the bosses were never up on a Sunday morning at
nine am to hear the dead air. Oh oh, I'll
tell you what. They've improved that system since. Now. You
know what happens now when there's dead air. There anymore
that happens. No, you know what happens when there's dead air.
Now every major upper executive in the chain and producers

(07:26):
and managers get a text message to their cell phone.
I get a radio silence on WHTZFM to my phone,
like the head of Tom Pullman, I can't think I'm
not running the Casey Casey showing up. So you can't
hide anymore, even if they're not listening. If the radio
goes silent for like twenty seconds or thirty seconds of

(07:47):
dead air, a text auto texts the phones to all
the important people, all the muckety MUCKs. I've gotten text
at two three o'clock in the morning. I'm like, who
the fuck is sleeping on the job right now? Oh yeah,
it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing. Now, it's embarrassing. We need to
set up a system where a Brooklyn boy sends out
a text message. Every time you try to slip at

(08:07):
a sponsor, everyone gets a text message. Uh inappropriate commercial
slip in by Skeary Jones. Right now, one last thing
before I have to go. Put this done with the
ice cream. I thought you don't. I had to have
one one one more little spoonful, a spoonful of sugar.
The medicine go down. Yeah, so that then I'm gonna

(08:28):
put it back in the freezer because I have to
get it away from me. But anyway, that being said,
I saw some TikTok videos over the last couple of weeks.
I guess my algorithm has been giving me a lot
of nostalgia. So it gives me like like back in
the eighties, this is how you would get your song
off the radio. You'd have to literally sit there with

(08:51):
the play record right and there that and then and
then literally have your finger on the pause button to
unpause it, to unpause it, and wait for the DJ
to stop talking and you get it right on the
beat and you record your song. But I mean, the
struggle was real. If you think about everything that we
used to have to do as kids. Beck in mind.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
I know we're sounding like old farts right now, but.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, just you because I'm not talking about it. No,
but it was. I mean, now, we don't even think
about this shit. No. I saw I saw a nostalgia
AI video and it's like, are you telling me that
instead of owning any music, Well, we have all the
music we can listen to, but we lose it if
we stop paying for it, really, which is accurate. I

(09:36):
have playlists that I've made that I've i've I've I've
spent hours putting the order just the way I want.
I have like one hundred playlists. If anything happened to
my Spotify account or if I stop having the ability
to pay for my Spotify, all of those playlists go
away permanently, and I would I don't have access to
any of that music that's there, got your moment. That's

(09:58):
why I have I have eight buckets of CDs in
my garage because anything could happen. I won't have that
music anymore. But yeah, it was one of those nostalgia
ones we used to go outside and play. Oh yeah,
I want to talk to your friend. Yeah, I had
to call them, like all that stuff. Yeah, blah blah
blah blah blah blah blahlah blah blah. All right, I
got to remember our parents, Remember our parents. You know,

(10:18):
when you wanted to get the news. When I was
a kid, I had to go to the movie theater
and watch the news reel before the film. That's how
they got like World War two news. It would be
like and the latest in Germany. Uh, the airlight forces
in vanded the beaches of Normandy. And you go into
the you see that the movie theater, you get the
news updates. Yeah, all right, this ice cream smelting. Yeah,

(10:40):
we'll be right back. I got boys podcast. We will
be right back. All right. So would you rather hear
two questionable returns I did? Or would you rather hear
about how a restaurant screwed me over with paper menu
and then how I got over on a restaurant that? Okay,

(11:00):
So I'm gonna tell you about the Uh. There's an
Asian market a couple of towns over from where I live,
where you can get like, you know, all the sauces,
fresh food, Asian food, frozen dumplings, all Asian stuff you want,
all the sauces, they got, all the sauces, whatever you want.
But they also have a steam table set up where

(11:22):
you can get you know, general chose chicken or a
sweet and sour pook chops, and then like a lot
of stuff that's very Asian. I think years ago I
read the items that they sold at like beef intestine
and and and cartilage or whatever. It was like stuff
we wouldn't eat. But they have the best pork buns

(11:45):
in the world. They're not dumplings, they're they're sort of
they're not They're not pork buns. They're giant dumplings. I
guess they're dumplings, but they're they're the size of like
almost baseballs, so they're bigger than like dumplings you get
in most restaurants. And they've got pork and leak and
vegetable and they have just pork. And when you go
you get a box. You tell me I want a box,

(12:06):
and they give you six put them in a plastic
container and it's like six ninety five or seven ninety
five for six of them. And this is big fan
favorite in my family. Love them. Okay, So I had
a craving and I went at let's say seven thirty.
I got there, and I see that the sign says

(12:26):
closed at seven thirty, and I go, oh, no, well
you know what that means. You've you've written go ahead,
go ahead. So I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait on
this one. Okay. I still see there's still some customers
in there, and it's it's technically I'm looking at my watch, okay,
all right with the little clock handle they have like

(12:47):
a uh okay, cardboard thing with the handles, and it
says seven thirty. Yep. So the door the door is locked,
but the exit door opens as people leave. So I
scooch in and I say, hey, can I can I
just go to the steam table area real quick? And
they're all very nice. So you you walked in through
the outdoor, outdoor, outdoor. I went in through the outdoor,

(13:10):
Thank you, led Zeppelin. Nope, Raspberry beret, prince, but continue,
oh you did it, yeah, but in though the yeah, okay, okay.
So I go over to the steam table and I
see that the steam table is closed and they've taken
all of the items out of the steam table and
they've put them on like in storage containers, like they're

(13:31):
gonna put them away or whatever. They do with them.
So I say to the woman, I had a craving
for pork puns. She says they're not hot. I said,
I don't care. You know, you see me in her
all the time. They're my favorite. I just want the
pork puns. And you want to please, You want the
pork puns that you well, you're gonna You're gonna heat
them up yourself. I guess, right, is that what you're
gonna do? I said, I heat them up myself. I

(13:53):
was on my way home, not a pump. So she's
she takes the tongs and she's counting them out one
and she's looking for the good ones. I go, the
more well done, the better. She's like trying to find
ones that aren't well done. I'm like, no, I like
the well done six. And then she looks at me
and she smiles, and she puts another one in seven,
and I smile, and she looks at me again. I
go another one, eight, and I go, I go, are

(14:13):
you throwing these out? What? She doesn't understand exactly what
I'm saying. Nine, She goes, are you coming all the time? Yep? Ten, eleven, twelve, yep, thirteen.
So she puts thirteen in there. You can't get the
lid on. I go get rubber band. So she puts

(14:34):
she gets a rubber band, and she rubber bands the
lid on, puts it in a bag for a plastic
bag for me. And so I got last minute double dumplings.
I got a baker's dozen of dumplings. I got thirteen
for the price of six. So I felt bad about
going in the outdoor. We've all done that, ladies and gentlemen. Uh,
but wait, wait in a second here, hold on, it

(14:55):
was you who chastised me because a breakfast place down
the Jersey Shore stopped serving at eleven am. Let me
reset this story. And I walked in at ten fifty
at ten minutes before, and you said that I don't extend,
and that that time you said that. First of all,
you took the side of them of the store, saying that, okay,

(15:17):
hold on. And then on another occasion, when my girlfriend
and I were stuck in Dublin, we tried to go
in at seven forty five, fifteen minutes before they closed. Yeah,
and we had, we were, and we were right under
the wire with that in our you know, on the
on the line at seven fifty five. You know, we
remember we were trying to We tried to close on

(15:38):
at seven fifty. It was very quick, very quick, okay.
And again you chastised me and you said I was
in the wrong, because exactly, how can it be seven eight,
two minutes before closing and you're running in and making
people do work when they're attending to their own tasks
and trying to clean up and get the fuck out there,

(16:00):
and they got to stop down and help you out.
How is that right? How are you right now in
this situation because now the shoes on the other foot,
you realize that, Okay, in the in the case of
the breakfast, when they tell you they've closed the flap
top griddle and they've put the food away, they're not
going to serve breakfast when they're done. But I was breakfast.
I got their ten to eleven or and I'm sorry,

(16:22):
by the time I made the order it.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Was eleven o'clock.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
I was in the store to he was there in
the deli, and as far as the clothing, they were closing,
and then you wanted to try and close a minute
before closing. That's kept you there. Go to the videotape
to the audio. Go listen to the audio. I was
doing not enough time for you to try on close
and if I'm to put the clothes back you were
plus you're just trying to warn it in and try

(16:46):
and switch up the play to the differences. I asked,
and they said, yes, I didn't go in and demand
I didn't go in. They didn't say we stopped serving you.
But your intention was wrong. Your initial intention you should
have said. You should have walked in front of the
place and said seven twenty eight for seven thirty, I
will respectfully come back tomorrow because I know what's going

(17:08):
on in there. So he actually stuck into a door
that was locked. The indoor was locked. You went into
the outdoor. Yeah, here's why I did it. Because I
knew I wasn't going shopping. I knew I wasn't gonna
walk around the store of twenty minutes. I was just
going to get stuff put in the box. I'm out,
and there were people on the register on the line.

(17:28):
Nobody stayed longer because of me. I wasn't even the
last one out, So in their mind they were closed
because they had locked that indoor. You went in the
wrong door. That door was locked. In their minds, we're
done for the night that you should have respected and
continued on your merry way. That's why when I walked
into the door, I stopped at the edge of the
doorway and then looked out vestibule. I said, excuse me,

(17:51):
Can I go get punk dumplings? She says, oh, yes,
because they know me, and they she smiled, said hello,
and I went over and got my povices. She saw slices,
so happy she gave me double. If she was mad
at me, she would have given me six crappy ones,
but she took the time to find the best wand
heartiest wands. She gave me thirteen. Says oh, I get
your rubber band. This guy, he loves me. I'm there

(18:11):
at himself. I'm a regular customer, talks his way out
of a paper bag. This guy right here. No, I'm
telling you right now, you're the wrong. You're the wrong,
I asked, nicely, and I'm a regular customer. They went
happy to give me extra list wrong, they made extra money.
They made extra money. They were going to throw them out,
and I got thirty No better than I was in

(18:32):
those two situations that you made a federal case out
of you.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
You were no more right than I was.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
If they said we're closed, you can't come in. And
then when she turned her back, I snuck down the aisle.
That's a different story, I asked nicely. I said, hey,
would it be okay? I have a couple of minutes.
It was two minutes. I had two minutes. It wasn't
after seven thirty, it was two minutes. Just yeah, go ahead,
you go get because I knew what I wanted. Another
case of do as I say, not as I do.
You are all of a sudden, let's move on. I

(19:00):
don't know why we're beating it. We're beating We're beating
the dead dumpling here, all right, slices can so now,
let me tell you about how a restaurant took advantage
of me, sort of. I went to dinner with my
boy paper Menu. Paper Menu is a big fan of
a restaurant called Houston's. Have you heard of it? You've been,
of course, Houston's, Hillstone, all that throw all the same

(19:22):
over the country. Well hill Well okay, but Hillstone was
at Houston's. And do you know why they had to
change their name? No, okay, I'll tell you later. But
it's a it's a wives tale why they changed their name.
But there's a reason why, and it doesn't really matter
to the audience anyway. Houston's is a steakhouse, upscale dining.
And I haven't been to an upscale place in quite
a while. And so paper menu says to me, listen,

(19:46):
I love the ribs. Love the ribs, fall off the bone,
ribs the best rip, fall off the bone. He says,
you pick up the bone, there's no meat on it,
because then me fell off the bone. That's how great.
We gotta go. And I said, I gotta be honest
with you. You know, UH, really not in a place to
spend a lot of money on dinner. Uh, And I
I really have never been to Houston's. And he says,

(20:07):
my treat. So I said, I'm in. Oh my god,
you're just getting ship this week. Some of my friends
buy me, buy me dinners. I brought you lunch the
other day, you fuck you did, yes, because I because
I drove to your neighborhood. I bought you lunch. You did,
but not a steak dinner anyway. So we go to
we go to Houston's and and so he's got it.

(20:30):
Are you guy, any of you slices like this, Will
you love a chain restaurant or restaurant so much? You
got to tell the server and the manager, anybody who'll listen,
Oh my god, I do that all the time. Yeah,
I do that at call Mins when people go you
have you dined the Collins before? I go, Oh my god,
it's my favorite restaurant. I've been coming here for thirty years,
but I love this place. I eat her all the time.

(20:50):
So that's the way paper menu is with Houston's. He
told me stories about how he was in Florida, and
he told the manager how much he loved Houston's, how
he went there for his birthday years ago. He loves it.
It's his favorite place. That she gave him one hundred
dollar the gift card for being such a great customer.
So we get to dinner at Houston's a couple of

(21:11):
nights over the weekend, and of course he tells the hostess,
and he tells the bartender, and he tells the He's
telling everybody, have you been here before? Oh? Have I
been here before? Oh? I've been coming here for a
Manhattan in Florida. He loves it. He's excited so first
of all slices of you do you do that? What
you tell the people of work? Because I gotta feel

(21:33):
like the people who work they don't really care. I
don't think they care one way enough. The owner of
my care they I think they do to an extent.
I think they appreciate the fact that you're you appreciate
where they work. Okay, fair enough. So he tells me,
we get in the ribs, and you gotta get a
baked potato, the best baked potatoes. Gotta get a bad potato.

(21:54):
I said, no, I'll get it without saler creem and chives.
But I'll get a big potato and it comes with
bacon and butter, big fat ass potato. And they put
salt and pepper or something on the skin. The skin
is unbelievable. Whatever they do to the skin, it's fantastic.
So we have our potatoes and the waitress loves us.
We're joking with horror and the manager comes over and

(22:16):
he tells the manager the story. The manager keeps like,
check it in. How do I like the ribs? Like,
I'm the first time first time ribber, first time river,
first time river, longtime Paul. So she comes over, are
the ribs living up to the hype. I'm like, the
ribs are very good. Now, I will tell you, not
the best ribs I've had, but very good, very good ribs.
I enjoyed them, very good. So the two of us

(22:39):
are like, you know what, the potatoes are so big.
There's really not enough butter on the potatoes. So we
say to the waitress, hey, can we get a little
more butter? They give you anything that you want at Houston's. Yeah,
So they give us a little another rameck in of
butter and it's you know, it's swirled, it's fancy, you know,
fluffed up butter, and uh, we maybe eat half of

(23:01):
it and I'm full. Do I take half of my
potato and half of my ribs? Home? We had we
had started off with Caesar salad, which was very good.
So when the bill comes paper menu says to me,
what the fuck? Like, what's the matter? He says, they
charged us for the butter. Ah, yes, that's all reality.

(23:27):
Oh my god, how much scary do you think they
charged us for the extra butter slices? Do you have
a number in your head? All these slices? The fact
that you're bringing it to the fact that you bring
it into the podcast leads me to believe it's a lot
more than fifty cents. How much do you think would be? Like, okay,
it's fancy butter, a dollar a dollar? Okay? Would I

(23:52):
bring it to the podcast for dollar? Right? Scary? I
just might, all right, Bruno mars, Yeah, uh no, scary,
shut up.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
We get a whole stick of butter for three dollars
maybe less.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yes, the butter. So when I'm packing we're packing up
the food, the waitress insists on packing it up. She
has to pack it up to Houston's way. Oh no,
we pack it up for you. So she gets out
the tongs and she picks up the potato and puts
it in the box, and she puts.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
The very very story I'll tell you at the end
of this.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
But held on. Tell me Dan. So here's what I do. Scary.
My paper menu says to me, take the butter. I go, absolutely,
So I took a dollar fifty's worth the butter and
threw it in the box with my potato. Because I'm
out wasting a dollar fifty worth the butter. I'm at
the potato. I'm surprised you didn't complain, well, I'm not
paying for it, so I'm not saying a word. He
didn't complain. Well, he's not a complainer like I am.

(24:49):
So that between the two of us, I didn't want
to complain for his three dollars. Plus he's such a fan.
He was afraid of getting in trouble. But here's what
he did. Here's what he did. He says, you know what,
I'm so mad. He left beautiful tip, really nice, right,
because you don't want to take it out on the
waitress or the waiter right. In fact, he left cash
for her. So like no, no, yeah, yeah, question, Okay,

(25:11):
he says to me. I see it in his eyes.
I know what he's doing. He says, when somebody charges
me for extra ship, they shouldn't charge me for the
pen is mine. And he took the pen. Look at you, guys.
You're just trying to like beg beg and gravel. You're
trying to grab anything you can, anything in sight, anything
if not na listen, there was a leave a pepper

(25:32):
shaker on the table. I was like, it's not worth
three dollars. It's not you know, what about what about
the mints? What about the mints? Up front? You can
take extra man, what about a carton of matchbooks? Match
So he took the pen out of pentest at a protest. Well,
I like, if they fucked me up taking the pens,
he took the hilarious and eye for an eye. It's

(25:52):
crazy because Houston's, you know, you know that people who
work there. Uh, there's a lot of articles have been
written about that. It's called the Hillstone Company. They own
Houston's and they transfer people all around the country. There's
five or six you could I would love for you
to look them up because this way all the slices
will be clued onto because they're all set the same way,

(26:14):
the same colors, the same food menus, but they're called
different chain no, but they're called you no No. But
they're not all called Houston's. Some of our listeners may
know them under different names, is what I'm saying. At
the Hillstone, it's on the Hillstone Restaurant anyway, the hill Yeah,
and anyway. The thing is when you get a job
there and then you want to on your resume, you

(26:35):
want to get a job at like, let's say, some
fine dining establishment where you can make some crazy money.
They will take you in a heartbeat if you have
one of those Hillstone restaurants on your resume, because they're
so strict and they're so by the letter. Everything is
well coordinated, and it's fascinating for a chain restaurant. They

(27:00):
are tremendous the service, the accommodations. You know, halfway through,
if they see that your your SODA's empty, they come
with a with a full glass, no questions asked.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
You don't even have to ask for it. But that's
how that's how great.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
The places do that. No, but they think about the soda.
They're very disappointed. They don't have fountain soda. So if
you get a soda, they bring you a bottle and
poured into the glass. But they're very intuitive and they're
very and and yeah they actually but so for a
restaurant that is really there to over extend themselves and
please the customer. I'm really appalled, quite honestly, that they're

(27:35):
going to charge you three dollars dollars from butter I
told you about the I told you about the place.
They charged me seventy nine cents of extra salsa, right, yes, yeah,
that's again same bullshit. N the salsa costs ten cents
maybe maybe ten cents to make please. So anyway, so
we got I got the free dumplings. Well, my boy

(27:56):
paid three dollars for butter, but I pay sary. Vote.
Did you see the list of the thirty biggest living
American songwriters. You're gonna see this list and you're gonna
immediately your eyes are gonna pop out of your head.
This was a voted on things I got American songwriters. Okay,

(28:19):
you know Diane Warren is gonna be on that course, right,
But there are some people missing on that list. Okay,
I'm gonna name one that's obvious, Billy Joel. Billy Joel
is not on the fucking list. Oh there's no list,
but then look, but then look who is though, And
then you're gonna tell me that Billy Joel that these
artists are better than Billy Joel's. And by the way,

(28:40):
it's living songwriters we're not talking about. I'm looking at
the list. Okay. I don't want to start fights with people,
but Nile Rogers is a legend, so Billy Joel is
not gonna bump him off the list. Lucinda Williams legend,
Stevie Wonder legend. No, I mean you don't have to
go to all of them, but just no, no, no, look
look down the list. Yeah, okay, Paul Simon is, Taylor

(29:04):
Swift so is, but Billy Joel has to be better
than at least one of them. Let me say I
can find someone who. Okay, Billy Joel, I'm gonna start
a fight here, scary, here we go. Billy Joel is
a better prolific American songwriter than Missy Elliott. I'm sorry,
thank you. No, it's not a fight to me. You
get your answer there, Yes, that that. I'm on your
side on that. Okay, you again, it's not my style

(29:26):
of music, but I know, listen, you have to have
jays on there very a varied selection of artists, because
that's what this list is. It's a very selection of artists. Okay,
So I'm sorry, I don't wan anybody coming after me.
Don't come after me, bro, but Young Thug is not
a better American song That's what I'm saying. That's what
I'm saying. Of course, listen, let's let's how about we

(29:47):
we put together this should be a merit based list
and nothing else. Apple, That's what I'm saying. Oh, stop
feeling Apple better than Bill think there are people on
there and they just put them on there just because
they're this thing.

Speaker 3 (29:59):
Oh, we have to mix it up and we have
to be diverse.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
This is like a this is the DEI of American
songwriting list that's not listen, I'm making a list. Who
is it? I think who Stephen Merritt is? Who's Stephen Merritt?
It's stupid, dude. And and you know who else should
be on there? That's not Trent Reznor. Oh is Bruce
Springsteen on here? I'm trying to find the actual Who's

(30:24):
Romeo Santos? Romeo Santos, He's one of the most popular
Spanish singers.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
It's it's but ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
He's a Dominican American? So is he Dominican? Yeah? He
Dominican herod. I guess it's so Jay Z Harold King
definitely outcast, Yes, okay, so Andre three thousand outcast. I'm
gonna say that they belong on there. You know who
else belongs on there? Kendrick Lamar. Kendrick Lamar is phenomenal, phenomenal, Okay.
Willie Nelson's on here, Okay, Kendrick Lamar is on here? Okay,

(30:58):
but like Calary Simpson, Okay, I can see that. Bob Dylan, Okay,
here is Dolly Parton really better than a del Ray?
Dolly Parton is an all time songwriter. Stop, don't even really,
but Lana Delray over Billy Freaking Joel and Bruce Springsteen.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
And Trent Rather the Dream, The.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Dream one of the greatest American songwriters. You're talking about
people with forty year catalogs. Come on, no, that's what
I'm saying. Jameson, Jimmy James and Terry lewis absolutely Jimmy right,
Smokey Robinson, Bunny bad Bunny, come on, Sky Springsteen's on here,
then go with the flavor of the month at that point,

(31:37):
you know, Smoky Robinson not a problem. Yeah, I'm sorry,
Benned Bunny is a legend, but I mean now, but
he's not. It's it's just weird to me. I feel
like they went for these, you know, these lists this way.
It shouldn't be this way. It should actually be the
thirty greatest living American songwriters. But I guess it's the Baible.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
There's hip hop artists that might belong on here, but
I mean, I mean, listen, Romeo Santos may be very talented.
Paul McCartney forty years did you is Paul McCartney before
America is? I'm so sorry? He's European? Oh my god?
E is British? Yeah, okay, British Invasion. The thirty greatest

(32:23):
American American living. Riah carries on here. But how many
songs did she actually write?

Speaker 3 (32:28):
That's debatable.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
She's written a co written eighteen or nineteen number one
singles written does not count. Yeah, let me tell you something.
I wrote a song once. It was a parody of
Slim Shady right, and I wrote a parody to Barry Williams,
who played Greg Brady, and it was I'm Greg Brady.
Is I'm the real Brady? I don't know if you
remember that scary, but I was back in the day

(32:52):
and I got the real Greg Brady to sing it,
and I wrote it with a guy in Cincinnati, know
the DJ and our lyrics were the co written lyrics,
the co writere song. He performed it on the Billboard
Music Awards. Look it up, Greg Brady singing I'm the
I'm the you know Greg Brady. He changed one word scary.
He changed one word in the lyrics and was able

(33:12):
to legally put himself down as a co writer. Yeah,
I get that one word correct. So that's what Mariah
Carey has done. I don't know when somebody says, but listen, Uh,
there's a lot of Uh No, definitely, I agree with it.
Baby Face and Jimmy jam Oh, baby Face, Yes, Jimmy Jams,

(33:33):
Terry Lewis, Lewis, yes, absolutely, What about even Merrit What
about Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow. I write the songs that
make the whole world sing. Ironically, he didn't write that song.
Barry Manilow did not write the song. I write the songs.
It was written by a guy named Brian Johnston. Did
you know that?

Speaker 3 (33:50):
I did not know that. But he does write.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
That's irony?

Speaker 3 (33:53):
What about that's irony? What about Neil Diamond?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Uh? I mean, yeah, Neil Diamond can be on here.
But if you make the whole list white guys from
the sixties, it's not really a comprehensive list. I don't mind.
I don't mind, uh, most of these people, but there's
a couple on here. You know. Listen. Taylor Swift has
proven to be a prolific songwriter. She bangs out an
album of two a year. She's tremendous. But I you

(34:18):
know again, where is Billy Joel the most glaring admission
emission omission of all of them? Well, there might be
glaring admissions we're not aware of because its genres. There
might be a country artist who writes a thousand songs
that isn't on here that we're not aware of. So
there's probably a lot of omissions. Well, I'm saying, and
what's his name?

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Hold on?

Speaker 1 (34:38):
What's this guy's name who wrote I Don't want to
miss the Thing? Well, Steven Tyler?

Speaker 3 (34:43):
Oh no, Diane wrote that.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
No, thinking of there's another guy. Who's the guy that
wrote all hold on? There's a guy he wrote he
wrote hits for everybody? Hold On, who's the guy that
wrote all that pop songs for bon Jovi and Kiss
and arrows myth? I'm joining guy Desmond Child. Desmond Child
is one of the greatest American songwriters of all time.

(35:08):
Songs Yes, all right, then, he wrote living, he wrote
living on a Prayer, he wrote Dude looks like a Lady.
He co wrote I Was Made for Loving You. Kiss
is one of the biggest hits. Go look at the
list of song he wrote. He co wrote you Give
Love a Bad Name. He co wrote bad Medicine, Uh.
He co wrote Angel by Arrowsmith. Well what he wrote?

(35:29):
He co wrote Living Levina Loca by Ricky Moore. He
co wrote I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan
Jet Desmond Child to be on this list, So I think.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
The whole the whole list is rage bain at this point,
I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
Go with that. I'm enraged, Jordan raged. That's why I
brought it to the podcast because I'm like, this is bullshit.
We got to talk about this. Somebody put out a
list about two years ago. I think it was Rolling
Stone magazine, and it was greatest guitar current guitar players,
greatest guitar players, and it was the greatest top one
hundred guitar players based all right. One of them was

(36:03):
Taylor Swift. Now I love Taylor. She's not known for
her guitar playing, No, she's not, she was clear, But
as a guitar player, she's a very popular person. Right,
But you can't put her on the same list as
Eddie van Halen, right, he doesn't, right, So it got
people enraged that she was on this list and all

(36:26):
the rock pages I follow on Facebook. Every six months
they post that list like it's new, and it's like,
Taylor Swift, why to focus you on another list? It's
the same list. They just keep reposting it, so they
absolutely rage bait people to get people upset, or to
get Taylor Swift fans to like repost the list. Oh
my god, tailor made the list. Taylor would tell you

(36:47):
she's not one of the greatest guitar players. She plays
a lot of instruments. He's very talented, not known for
guitar playing. The facts's on a songwriter list. I'm okay
with that. But there's the people on this list. Scary, No,
no way, no exactly. All right, thank you. It's the podcast,

(37:08):
all right. In my never ending quest to finish the
uh furnishing my apartment here, you know, it's been it's
been a couple of months since I've been in here,
and uh it's been a what was your moving date?

Speaker 3 (37:21):
March first, and so.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
So you're there one month, month and a half month
and a half.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Yeah, but I know, but I still I wanted to
go faster, you know.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
So you know I told you I hired part time
at somebody who's trying to spend my money for an
interior designer who's helping me along the way. Well, she's
got Champagne dreams and uh, what do they call it?
What's what's AAVR? Caviar caviar? This is Robin Leech lifestyles.
Is the richard famous paying dreams and caviar caviar wishes?

(37:54):
Right or something like that? I think, So hold on
lifestyles of the rich and famous, Champagne dreams and caviar
what or is the caveard dreams and Champagne something else
but Champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
Champagne wishes dreams.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
So yeah, So the thing with her is it's not
her money, she's spending my money. So yeah, she's like,
would you be open to changing changing the switch plates
and plug plates and everything and switches and dimmer switches
around your apartment? Like Bertie, you see the one right

(38:30):
behind me? Like that one right there? Yeah, that's a basic,
basic bitch one that everyone hide up Luton usually like
it's a rocker. It's the regular it's the regular. No,
it's the regular white cover. It's the regular white plastic
switch that yeah, but it's a rocker switch. He goes
up and down a rocker right, yeah, rock Well, that's
why I like it, because it's a rocker switch, a
rocker switch. So she's like, check out Buster and Punch.

(38:55):
I'm like, what the fuck is Buster and punch Sucker
an idiot sucker punch. It's more like sucker punch. Buster
and Punch makes these fancy high falutin no bro bro
boogy fuck no, hold on, it's build your own, build

(39:15):
your own switchbox. So let's say I need what they
call a three ganger, a three gang where oh I've
seen that movie. Three gangs is when you have three
switches next to each other in one place. Right, I
owned a home I'm well aware, I'm not. This is
my first time here, so I'm just saying I'm the
first time at it. So I need a dimmer. I
need a dimmer on one. I need a switch bro on,

(39:39):
hold on, brother, hold on, hold on, I got it.
Just internup. Buster and Punch sells the door stop, the
thing that when the door opens and hits the little
rubber thing. Right, how much would you pay at home
depot for a door stop? Fucking ten dollars eight dollars
like six six. Guess how much the cheap one at
Buster and Punching bustered more than seventy five dollars. Bro,

(40:06):
So it's is holy, let me get through this. So
you get these switches scary you but I want to
I'm not. I'm not. I'm getting some I'm getting I'm
bringing the slices in on this. Let them enjoy this
the way you're enjoying it and the way I like,
I left my ass off when I saw it. So
she's like, yeah, you you want the esthetically pleasing steel.

(40:30):
It's real steel and metal. These boxes, this switches are
really really significant. This switch is very what do you need?
So like you you build your own. So if I
if I have to build, like let's say a USB
C on one and the next one is a switch
and the next one is a dimmer fucking four twenty dollars,

(40:50):
four hundred twenty dollars. But wait a second. The three
gang is three hundred and fifty dollars. That that's and
by the way, that's in like this chrome. This bras
this scary different color one hundred dollars a gang. These
are expensive gangs. This like fucking gang bang is what
it is. That's what I'm saying. This one has a knob,
so right, so so, and I got to tell you,

(41:13):
they do look beautiful. They look like for being in
a studio, esthetically pleasing to have, like little switches and
fun little metal. So this kind of money scary. I'll
stand there and turn the lights on and all for you, exactly.
So I'm like, so so she said to me, She goes, Oh,
I have it at my house. I have it at
my apartment. Wait a second, your money, no, I said, so,

(41:36):
I said, well, you live in an apartment like she's yes,
she was, I have one.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
I said, that's great. I had If you want to count, and.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
He has one.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
You know how many switch plates I have in this
fucking apartment. I counted them between every plug socket, every
double plug socket, and every light switch. You know, I
have mi at least fucking fifty in this apartment, fifty
times four hundred dollars each. Dude, No, no fucking way,

(42:07):
I said it. Just oh, but come on, it looks
really great. It's a step to These are the These
are the things that make your apartment, that put them
on the next level. These, these are the moments These
are the things, the little accents, the little upgrades that
you can do around the house that set your apartment.
So next thing, she's like, oh, we gotta change the
door handles. I'm like, what's the matter, silver fucking door handles.

(42:31):
Oh no, called tram Montfrere. She wants to get all
these fancy ass door handles. And I said, you know
how many fucking doors I have in my place, and
you gotta handle on both sides. But it gets better, scary.
You gotta get the door stoppers behind the doors that
match for seventy five dollars. Oh yeah, but it gets
it gets worse, Brody, because if you change the door handle,
I realize you also have to change the fucking hinges,

(42:53):
which means you gotta get fancy hinges, which means they
got to unscrew every can. You can't have common hinges
when you got Buster and punch Buster and Poindexter David busters.
You can't put a waiant punch. You can't. You gotta
have hinge. Come on, slices, bag, you will yo with me.
You can't have common man hinges, no way, when you

(43:14):
can have a punch. And Judy switches. But she says, Oh,
the handles much must match the hinges. So if we
if we decide to do like these nice beautiful black handles,
you gotta buy black hinges. I said, I ain't fucking
taking every goddamn door in my place off the hinges
just to replace the hinges. First of all, that's a
job in itself, the hinges. She's a inges. We gotta

(43:38):
get we, we gotta get her on the podcast one weekend. Oh,
you will have a ball because I'm gonna offend her.
You don't want me to talk in a hard no,
yes I do. I'm gonna call her a boogy beats.
You don't want me to talk, No, I want you to.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
I want you to put. Her name is Lorena. I
know her for like twenty years.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
She's the best. But honestly, this is not for the
faint of heart. I can't do this. Listen this. There's
a big nut to be in this, to be living
in this fucking place. But unlessen, you know, I'm a
bougie bastard. But that's where I draw the line. So
I said, well, they are kind of nice, you know.
They aren't made of like brass and steel, and they

(44:15):
do give a nice little extra something. But I said,
do you know any knockoffs? So she's like knockoffs? Why
would we go to get a knockoff when we can
go to david Busters anyway, slices, buster and punch and
it's customized and make your build your own switch. I

(44:36):
guarantee you're not getting out for four hundred dollars per plate.
All right, Look, if you live in a trailer home
and you've got one light switch, this might be the
right thing for you. What Yeah, listen, you can't change
where you live, but he can smouce it up a
little bit with one fancas point exter buster posey light switch.

(44:57):
So between that, mister Douglas and buying forget about the
uh the lighting above me. Oh, we were talking about
the lighting fixtures. Bro. Bro, she wants me to spend
fucking thousands of dollars on a lighting.

Speaker 3 (45:12):
I need three of them. I need one freez.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I need even for my studio, like my living room,
dining area and my bedroom. You laugh, you laugh, but
you know what I mean. You know we need we
need an interview, ned fucking professional help for your brain. No,
you need an interior brain person. We need an out
of your fucking mind. We need I'm not out of
my mind. I ain't fucking buying this ship, but slices.

(45:36):
You and I both know he's getting at least two
of them. You're gonna have him in one room, you go.
I just did Buster and Punch, and then when people
come to the house, just let me show you my
thinking that. I'm like, what is the most traveled area,
I said, living room, living Everybody's gonna right above the TV.
It's like, that's my one Buster punch switch plate. But
then it looks stupid and staring at the TV. It'll

(45:57):
be right there as long as they don't go in
the bathroom. The fuck. What I think we need, though,
is I need to see in the bathsom. Home and depot.
That's what I got. Home and Depot. Well, that's the
other thing I found. We've had a beautiful, gorgeous lighting system,
this beautiful bubble lighting. It's beautiful chandelier for my studio,

(46:20):
fucking home depot. I'm like, this is it. I'm in
home people, She's gonna let you buy it. It looked yeah,
she got she said, she already. I already got her
approval because it's beautiful it's this it's a frosted it
doesn't look like it's this way. It doesn't look like
it looks like it's from Buster and Punch. It does
not look like it's from Home Depot. And Depot has
some very nice things they do. So I so I

(46:43):
got a little, a small victory on that one. So
Home Depot is gonna be installed in here. But Brody,
next podcast, we have to get her on the phone,
and I need you to help me talk some sense
in to her because she's not listening to that. Let's
let's play act it now. I'm calling you out. I'm Lorena.
Uh scary. How are you doing? It's Loraina? Hey, what's up?
How you doing? Hey? Listen? Are you excited about that

(47:05):
home Depot fixture that you picked out? Yeah, it's gonna
look beautiful in here. You said it was awesome with
the frost. It's like all frosted glass. And I really
like it. I really like it. Now, how much is
it a Home Depot? Remind me approximately how much it is.
It's like three hundred dollars. Yeah, that's very great spend.
It's expensive. It's a great deal. It's a great deal.
Looks like it's three thousand dollars. I was going to

(47:25):
get you a Brianche Brianch is. I don't know if
you know this the Danish it's a chandelier company. I
was getting a very similar life from Brianche and it's
uh thirty four hundred dollars out here. It's the it's
the Brioche medallion. It's called and but I tell you, scary,
very good eye. The three hundred dollar home depot. You're
saving thirty one hundred dollars. So congratulations, thanks. So here's

(47:49):
what I want you to do. Now. You have thirty
one hundred dollars to buy outlet covers from Bustering.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
No, no for you that way. That shit don't work
it way.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Don't talk to me. I'm Lorena. You can't talk for that. Right.
You've told me twenty years. We're gonna take the money
you saved on the home deepot lighting. It's all part
of my plan. We're gonna get you the the uh
the uh buster brown shoes switches, put them all over
your house.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
I said, I said to her, stopped.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
I said, you you do want to get paid at
the end of this project, right, you do want me
to have money left over to pay you right well,
stop spending all my fucking money. Pretend bet how much
do you want to bet? Buster and Punch is a
sponsor of ours and she gets a kickback. No, she's
doing She's Scary Jones and you she's going, oh, you

(48:37):
know what, I just happen to have this brand called
Bustern Punch. She placed the order and they give a
little little taste. Okay, I'm willing to bet zero on
polymarket on this one. I'm willing to bet the answer
is zero. I'll put a lot of money down slices
if you have Bustern Punch in your only.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
If you have Buster and Punch in your house, leave
us a talk back.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
I guarantee the answer is zero, and I'm willing to
put some money on that right now. Make some money.
You're saying, Are you saying Reggie doesn't have Bustern Punch. No,
I just think that our I think that you're sliced
him from Ohio doesn't have Bustering Punch unless I just think.
I just think that our listeners are level headed and

(49:23):
you actually know the value of a dollar. I don't.
I'll tell you right now who has Buster and punch. Oh,
Chad from Omaha he's got bustering No he doesn't, Yeah,
oh yeah, yeah he does. And I think Donnie from
Okay he might have Buster and Punch. It's just I
can't believe they even manufacture these things. I mean, who's
buying this stuff? So flowed you might have Buster and Punch.

(49:47):
I never heard of Buster and Punch before this.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
By the way, I didn't even think about you, like,
did you ask did you ask Elvis? No? Because you
know he's got bustering punch in his home and us
text it right now, Text it right now and ask
him if he's ever heard a Buster. Okay, do you
really want me to do that?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Now?

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Text him? Yep. Okay, I'm on the phone. Tell you
I'm on the phone. I've heard of Buster and punch,
light light switch, lights, switch covers, switches and you and
you haven't and and and switches and plates and do

(50:31):
you have any Okay, I just left it there. Okay,
we'll get okay, we'll get back. All right. So so
all right, so we'll we'll hear back from Elvis, I'm saying,
and we are getting the rain on next you you
have to talk her out of this for me. Okay,
all right, okay, because there's a laundry list, there's a
whole by the way, we can do twenty minutes on
all the ship She told me to buy that. I

(50:51):
told her no. But then remember if a man happens,
you put me in a room, right. But then, but
then she also counteracted and made me feel guilty on
some of this stuff and be like, well, then I
guess he's just not going to have the greatest, the
greatest style. You know, you're just not going to be up.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
He's pitying you.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
She's guilting me a little bit. She goes, well, you
know you do want you do want your place to
look perfect right and beautiful, right, you want it to
be right. You know, I live in this ship hall
without the regular rocker light switches. Listen back in the
day when Elvis was redoing his uh, his kitchen you
know in Jersey. Yeah, that's not enough to mention her name.

(51:31):
But the woman who his his interior decorator, he's he's
used her forever for like twenty years. You know, the woman,
very nice, the one who always come in with swatches
for him to look at. So I said, you know,
I don't really love my kitchen where I live. I'd
love some ideas. It's a very small kitchen in my house.
Uh you know, I'd love to at least give me

(51:51):
some ideas and how it can make more space. He goes, oh, oh,
I'm available. As soon as I'm done with Elvis's project,
I can come over and do a whole floor plan
for you. I'll put up I'll make a blueprints or whatever.
Let me write here, let me write you a quote. Yeah,
she's like, I just don't worry, says, I'll work with
you on the price. I'm like, dude, if Elvis is
hiring you to read you his kitchen, I can't afford

(52:12):
you to change the toilet paper roll. Are you kidding me?
He said, he knows it, asking if he has any Oh, boy,
of course you have to get much like a splurge
to me to say, your entire decorator wants you to

(52:35):
get it. Should I get it?

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Yeah, I'm going to do that right now and unnecessary,
but my interior design person.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Is insisting on it. Jesus. Okay, let me know what. Okay,
I'm fifty two years old and I didn't get Punch
and Judy like cob as if he's got. I am
fifty two and I am today years old when I
first heard about Buster and Punch, and I did not

(53:13):
know what the fuck Buster and Punch was. Okay, you're
laving your ASDs up. It's funny, Brownie, ha. You're not
the one trying to move in and trying to see
the thing is. I want it? I want I want
you to be about three dollars. Butter, you're buying Fundrell
gang Bang light switches. Oh, he had a great idea.

(53:36):
What do you think he told me to do? Get it?
Get him as a sponsor. Why did you do them
in your entertaining spaces only?

Speaker 2 (53:42):
I said that, Yes, you know what, just for.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
The fucking one, just for the fun of it. I'm
buying me. I'm gonna buy one. Butster and Punk you
is he fucked three gang fucking lights with. Oh, it's
gonna be the dimmers. It's gonna be the dimmers, Dimmer, dimmers.
And one of them is going to have the USBC
so someone could charge their phone. Yeah, No, one's gonna
walk over to your outlet and plug it in. Also,
it won't work with your voice activated system. Will it?

(54:16):
I don't know. I can't believe it. This is my
life now, boogie fuck go to commercial. I can't tell her.
Elvis wait, he's continuing to write. I want to clarify
something from before. I wasn't laughing that Elvis would have

(54:37):
punch and Judy plates or what is a punching? No,
what isn't it's buster and punch buster and punch. Yeah.
I wasn't laughing that Elvis would be booze enough to
have him. Because Elvis is in another level of of
of success and he has a home worthy of those
kind of outlets. It makes sense for albs. I'm laughing

(54:59):
that Skill would be thinking about the same kind of
opulent Clarify has which Elvis should have my should not
have what interior designer had delusions of grandeur? Yes, yeah,
I'm so again. I wasn't leving that Elvis would have it.
I left because I knew tear it was Elvis level
of decor that is not Scary Jones level of decor.

(55:22):
But I know I know your your your your your
designer would love you to be Elvis level decor, but
you are not Elvis level income. I feel like I'm
just like fulfilling her fantasy of because she's an interior
decorator and she just wants to create the perfect room selfishly.
All right, So enough about that. I got a couple
of things I want to I want to play the

(55:44):
last my last batch of annoying threatening Loane voicemails that,
like I played last week because I've now been spam
filter did not allow voicemails, so we'll see if that works.
But I still I got a couple today, but a
lot less. So let me let me play this one.
Because a couple of them have some some now some

(56:05):
new names I want you to hear. But this one's
a regular name that threatening me your application with esplaates news.
I'm critical and I need to finalize things with you
before my cut off today. If at all possible, the
faster you bring me back, the faster we can wrap
this up for you. Yeah okay, so she's getting cut
off today, Yeah yeah, blah blah. Okay, So that one
that was light, lightly threatening. Let's see this one, the

(56:29):
same woman.

Speaker 4 (56:31):
I need you to understand, this isn't an indefinite thing.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
The moment the program paps reached all pending offers. Get
what's wrong.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
I'm at my desk right now, to reach out to
me the moment you hear this at you.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Oh, she's in her desk right now. I called her.
She was not at her desk right now. Can you
imagine she lied? I called her right back. Let me
see what this press's name is.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
I can't believe you actually entertained them, you actually number.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
And I would really hate to see the timeline on
this is extremely tight, and I would really hate to
see an opportunity like this.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
So I'm just trying to understand what the end game
for these people.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Then well, because it's it's it's AI or whatever, but
especially it's not real. But especially if you call them
back and they're not at their desk, I thought that
that would be prime time for them to try and
scan the If you called them every time you every
time I've called back, I get no one is here
to answer your call or you know that, please you know?
So then what's the purpose of this.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
I don't know. I don't know if they're trying to
just get me to prove that I have a phone
number so they can sell my phone number other people.
I don't know. Hit now it's I've got a future.
Calls me there. My name is Bessy Cromwell, and I'm
getting in touch with you. Sound like is there? My
name is Bessy Cromwell, and I'm getting this is Busy Crumbwell. Okay,

(57:46):
so Bessy Cromwell, move over. You're not the snoodiest name.
And once it's gone there my name is and I
have Haven Foxworth. That's a poor name. Oh yes, this
is Haven Foxworth with I'm at my desk right now. Yeah,
I'm friends with Bessie Cromwell. Time is running out, Time

(58:11):
is running out on your lef all right, well, I
don't know again. I wanted to end at least my
my portion of this podcast with that and then one
other thing. What were you gonna say, Cromwell? No, no,
I just these are terrible names. I don't know how
anyone can Foxworth Haven Foxworth. But yeah, that's definitely more
of a stripper, dude. Haven Foxworth is way too rich

(58:33):
to be working at a call center. Yeah. Haven Foxworth
is on a yacht, yeah, Portoxworth. Yeah, you wanted to
talk about something with paper menu? Yeah, my friend paper Menu.
So he's telling me this story.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
He's your bestie. At this point, it's safe to say
that he's your Jetski Bryan.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
No, no, I listen. I love Paper Menu, but I've
got I've got a harem of three of four or
friends that I go out to lunch with or dinner with. Anyway,
paper Menu was telling me a story. Now you've never
met Paper Menu, although at some point you might. He
is over six feet tall and muscular, works out. He's

(59:14):
a big he's always been large, always works out, always
huge upper body, big arms, and he was still getting
outside club one night, oh about twenty years ago, yep.
And he looks like a bouncer. So he had just
gone out to get some air and there was there
was no bouncer outside. The bouncer had gone in for

(59:35):
whatever reason. So people were coming up to him, going
can I go in? So he decided to tell people
there was a five dollar cover charge because it was
a band playing it that night, get out, and so
people were yeah. And then there was a couple of
people who were like, FuG me look, and he decided
they couldn't go in. So he just told him to
leave because you're not dressed properly. You can't get in.
So he stood there. He made a couple of you know,

(59:57):
it made like one hundred bucks off of whatever. People
come in and give him five dollars five dollars, maybe
made ninety I forget what he told me. He made
some under one hundred, but a lot of money. And
then eventually the actual bouncer came out, put his hand
on his shoulder and said, what are you doing? And
so paper menu says to him, Oh, I'm just keeping
the trash out of here, you know. He goes, uh,

(01:00:18):
what are you charging money for? Yes? Oh wait, wait,
what happened? You cut out? He so he goes, he goes,
he goes, So, he goes, you want half? He goes, No,
I don't want half. I want you to get out
of here. He goes, well, can I go back in?
He goes, no, you can't go back in. But anyway,
he made like seventy five eighty bucks just by standing

(01:00:40):
for a club. By standing outside is a bit so
have slices? Have you ever pretended to work somewhere? I
only tell him I ever did that? Scary. I don't
know about you. I was wearing a shirt and tie.
I don't remember why all.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Right under that suit and ti suit and tie, suit
and tie.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
Yeah, wearing a shirt and tie. I was a shop
dressed man. Tho. It was easy top. And I was
walking down an aisle and someone said, excuse me, uh,
do you know where the pay medication is? Uh, you're
a manager? And I said, what, where's the pain medication?
I go, oh, all eleven? Oh, thank you very much.

(01:01:20):
So they go over to Isle eleven and I going
to get my stuff. When I'm at the register and
this woman is now yelling at the scisious I don't
I wear's the pain medicine. I don't see it. It works,
There's like it's over an aisle five whatever isle. It
was just well, your manager told me Isle eleven, just
my manager. I'm the manager. No, that guy the register
because he doesn't work here. He told me he was
the manager. I got caught. Yeah, but I didn't make

(01:01:43):
any money out of the deal. I just I've never
impersonated anybody. I've never, you know, although I've always felt
that if you were to put on those Neon construction vests,
you know, like the yellows or the reds, the ones
that they use in the street and the road crew,

(01:02:03):
and you basically just standing in the middle of the
street wearing one of those and just pointing a traffic people.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
Yeah, traffic will automatically assume that you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
Are somewhat important because you're wearing a fucking velcro vest,
that's all. Yeah. I think you could absolutely get away
with that. I think now, look, I'm not saying you
should pretend to be a doctor, but that would be
dangerous if you could have some fun pretending to be
something in public, get away with it. About what about
clipboard and and clipboard guy? Clip no, no, no, click?

(01:02:37):
Clipboard and a and a and an earpiece guy with
a microphone attached to it? Now it sounds like impractical jokers.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
No clipboard ear piece?

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
You know. Basically, they don't stop you with the clipboard.
They don't, they won't they if you could basically take
over like an area or you could you know, be like, oh,
I'm sorry, can I help you? This is a private event.
You can't cut men or something like that. Because you
have a clipboard, you're not on the list tonight. Also,
it was proven by what's his name, David Dobrick, You know,

(01:03:10):
Dave do Brick is the YouTuber TikToker. Yep. He proved
that if two guys are carrying a ladder anywhere, they
can get it anywhere because they're carrying the ladder and
they're on their way somewhere important to fix some shit.
So they there's a whole montage of them walking into

(01:03:34):
these like hard to get places, places that you wouldn't
have regular access to with the fucking ladder, and they
just hit the two guys holding the ladder, and nobody
questions them front door. They just let let everything let
them through. You don't have to go to the metal detector,
just go walk through. Just Yeah, they went to get
into as many restricted places as possible with two guys,

(01:03:59):
two guys holding a ladder. Speaking of Impractical Jokers, sometime
around April sixth or seventh, I'm scrolling Instagram and I
see on our friend Joe Gaddo's page he says, hey, everyone,
great news. I'm rejoining in Practical Jokers for season thirteen
or whatever whatever season they're in. I'm back for the

(01:04:21):
final season or whatever whatever it was. So I'm like, oh,
it's April seventh, April six whatever, So I go, oh,
that's terrific news. Did you text him. So I so,
I text te man, I'm happy that you found time.
Day your line is cutting out. Well you said, yeah,

(01:04:42):
yeah that one. Yeah yeah. So I texted Joe Adam.
I go, hey, congratulations that you found time in your
life and that you have the you know, the mental
capacity to want to get back and do that because
I know he left to spend time with his family.
I said, no, if you found time, you know, family
wise whatever, to go back for a year. Congratulations, man,
I hope they page a lot of money. Blah blah
blah blah. I said, if you want to come on
the podcast, if you want to promote it, we'd love

(01:05:05):
to have you on. He's been on before, you know whatever,
We've been friends. And he says, hey, man, I appreciate
the kind words, but that was an April Fools joke
on April seventh, April sixth, Yeah, we were a six
seven whatever it was. So I go seven at the
post and I go, I go back and look at
the post, and my Instagram feed fed me like a

(01:05:27):
week old April Fools post for ah on the first
I wouldn't have felt for the right, but I didn't
see it in my feed till till August whatever. So
you you would think that people that post April Fools
jokes on April Fools they delete them on the second. No,
they left it. He left it up because there was
a lot of comments, you know. The comments were funny

(01:05:48):
people making comments. So I was like, oh, all right, Joel, listen,
if you still want to come on, you're welcome to
come on. He's got a comedy tour, so I'll talk
to him about that, maybe have him come on. But yeah,
I got I got April Fooled on April sixth or seventh.
That is actually very very funny. Yes, So I was like, oh,
I just meant to mention that last episode. So yeah,
so Joe Gattle not back with in Practical Jokers, but yeah,

(01:06:09):
you know, he's on comedy. He's on a comedy tour.
So good fan. I got one less story for you,
one less quick stoe. Okay, go for it. Stop you
said that you said paper menu is my boy. As
I told you, I have a few people I free
friends of mine, and one of them that you know
from a very long time ago, who worked at See
one hundred a very long time ago, got to dinner
with him last night, and we went to a place

(01:06:29):
I'm gonna recommend it. I don't know if there's anyone
near you on the East Coast called Ugly Dumpling, which
is a great name, scary as one in Linden maybe
or somewhere about twenty minutes from you half hour, you
should go.

Speaker 3 (01:06:41):
Do you not forget it all? Do you forget so
so easily? I actually hosted that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
I hosted the grand openings of both both Ugly Dumplings,
the one in the one in Touching and the one
in where did you go? Par Sipony par Sippeny. I
didn't know that. Yeah, oh it's terrific. It was absolutely
do a event. I did it for ze one hundred.
It was a big gay. I didn't know that. Oh
my god, their food is so good.

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
And I and you and you know, you get My
favorite is you You walk in, You're like, what is
a fast food place?

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
You walk in and you stare and you look behind
the glass and they're in there making the dumplings. Yeah,
they're making the d dumplings. And plan was terrific. Hand
the election, they're actually rolling the dough. There was a
couple of things and I was like making notes on
my phone. And he's like, oh, Jeff for the podcasting,

(01:07:32):
I'm undecided yet, And he says, oh, uh, you know,
let me know if you talk about I go. You
don't listen to the podcast? He says, no, why would I.
I live it every time we hang out. I don't
need to relive it. That's true because he knows that
whatever you talk about with him, it's coming back to
the podcast, right, So he won't listen. So I can
say whatever I said, Yeah, I want to talk badly

(01:07:53):
about you. He says whatever, I'm not going to hear it.
So he's the guy that didn't thank me for the water.
You know, we've talked about a bunch of times. Uh.
But yeah, So last night he goes, yeah, I'm not
gonna listen. I don't need to listen. I see the
movie every time we go to dinner. That is hysterical. Yeah,
I don't need secondhand podcast. I get first hand. And

(01:08:13):
I was using chopsticks lest it's cool spot right, never
do Wait, you use chops the bamboo steamers, come home?
You use cho yeah? Not for the main course? I yeah, well,
I use the spoons, the big you know, the Asian
spoons for the soup dumplings you have to, but for
the dim sum for the uh shrimp dumplings, whatever we had,
I use I can use chopsticks, but I prefer to

(01:08:35):
use a fork when the main course came good. So civilized,
you're so Americanized. I use the chopsticks, my friend. I
can do that anyway. That's it. That's another episode. You
got to keep us all posted now on your light fixtures.
So let me know if we're gonna have your interior
decorator all. I'm sure she would love to come on.
Let's call this let's call this episode uh buster and

(01:08:56):
uh punch your lights out or something like that. No boys,
not Broclus brol b boys, Brock brock li