Full Show Podcast: 12 May 2026

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk, said b
follow this and our wide Ranger podcasts now on iHeartRadio.
The big stories, the leak issues, the big trends and
everything in between.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Matt Heath and Tyler Adams. Afternoons, News Talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Afternoon to you. Welcome into Tuesday show. Really good. Evy
Company is always hope you're having a great day.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Hey you man, I've just spent the ad break and
the news watching Bernadicte coum abetch. Yes, the actor Dr
Strange Sherlock Holmes can't say Penguin says pingling, pingling, pingling,
the pingling having an argument on the streets of London

(00:54):
or not a ten minute argument.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Oh you're kidding.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
He caused a cycling and fraction and he got into
an argument with another cyclist and I was just watching him.
It's such a waste of my life, and I wish
I was a better person and didn't watch things like this.
But it just makes you realize that spind It at
Comberbatch probably worth. He must be worth quite a lot

(01:19):
of money.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
He started tens of million, surely.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
Absolutely. I wouldn't be surprised if he was with one
hundred million. He's in a number of Marvel movies. You'd
think that his life would just be so sweet as
that he'd brush off someone on someone else on a
cycle that had a word to him, But he just
stands there and argues it out for ten minutes. If
I was booted at Cumberbatch, I'd be like, I would

(01:43):
stand here and argue with you. But I'm burned at Cumberbatch.
I'm going to go and do something else.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
I've got better things to do than sit here and
have an argument with him.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
I'm a fantastic actor, I have a beautiful wife and family.
My life is great. I'm just gonna let this one
pass go to shoulder arms and let this one go
through to the keeper and get on with my life.
But no, he was. He engaged in a very very
angry ten minute back and forth.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
I need to see that. Can you send it to me?
And also lock out producer today is also asked for
it as well, just for the very fact it's Benedict Cumberbatch.
I mean, of any of the Hollywood A listers, I'd
think they would have an argument with another cyclist. He
would be down the list. I just gon't to mention him.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
He's been another old occasion in the past, hasn't he
Because he jumped out of a black cab at one
point when someone was being assaulted or someone was and
he he he got into a fight with someone who
was trying to mug someone, right, I need to remember
the details. So he's not above getting down on the
street and getting down and dirty with people. Is he

(02:48):
burned at Coma Beach?

Speaker 3 (02:49):
What a good man?

Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yeah, but I guess you just get used to being
burned at Cumberbatch and the same things annoy you as
annoy everyone else.

Speaker 5 (02:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
I suppose if a cyclist cuts you off, you know,
just because you're a Hollywood a lister, it doesn't mean
you can't get pretty walled up.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
Well, I think it was him on the cycle that
cut someone else off. Oh right, so he is a
meaning he was in the wrong, but he was meeting
was in the wrong for the first infraction, but not
the second infraction the guy was complaining about. And it
just it was ten minutes and there's so many people
standing around film them because they're going, that's doctor Strange
having an argument on the street, and it's humiliating.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Skidlet I'm looking forward to seeing that. What a fantastic
What a fantastic for.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
You know what, your life will be just as good
as you'd never see that. Your can watch it if
you felt like it, or just just go on with
your day to day, right, Benedict Cumberbatch. I probably should
have ye.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Oh, mull on that one, right, speaking of complaints to
the show today after three o'clock complaints in cafes. So
this is an.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Article Benedict cumber Batch.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
What did I say?

Speaker 4 (03:43):
I was saying Bernadict. Oh, Benedict like eggs Benedict.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, so hell of a name that less Expendedict cumber Batch.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
That would have been annoying for people when I'm repeatedly
saying that wrong eggs. Benedict cumber Batch.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Nailed it. There you go, right after three o'clock complaints
in cafes. So this is an article in the here
all written by Jesse Mulligan. So he spoke to hospitality
workers about the customer behaviors that quietly drive them mad.
So everything from common dining habits to everyday etiquette mistakes
many people don't realize they're probably making. It does highlight
the unspoken rules of eating out and what really grinds

(04:14):
the gears of hospow workers.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
I think people need to get more of it. You
get what you get and you don't get upstep. There's
a lot of people and it's raised in this that
have created elaborate ellergies that they don't really have. Yes,
what dietary needs that they're just trying to construct a
personality around. Very common, i'd find that. But the interesting
thing I found I would love to hear from hospital

(04:36):
people what are these annoying things? Because you want to
make a hospow person's day, Okay, because they're not making
a million dollars working in that restaurant, are they right?

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yep?

Speaker 4 (04:46):
But I found it interesting that they don't want you
to help stack the plates.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Me too.

Speaker 4 (04:50):
So you think you're being a good guy because you're like,
I'm helping out. Look at me, I'm a great guy
helping out. And they're like, no, I've got a myth,
I've got a method. You're just piling up the plates
and everything. It's just it's not helping exactly.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, so that is after three o'clock. If you work
in hospow, what is your biggest complaint when it comes
to customers? Even if they're trying to help after two
o'clock and or on. New Zealand. Housing Trends found that
nearly half a first home buyers aged eighteen to thirty
nine expect financial help from the bank of mum and
dad to get into a home, but many worry about
the strain this puts on parents. So the survey showed
seventy percent of those receiving help from mum and dad

(05:23):
felt concerned about the financial pressure on their pearance, especially
as retirement savings and rising costs of living remain an issue,
and financial experts warn parents should make sure that they
can still fund their own retirement before helping children, and
clearly documenting whether money are given as a loan or
a gift.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
So, if your parents are going to put themselves in
financial peril by helping you out buying your house, you're
a terrible person if you take that money. Your parents
don't owe you to buy a house. If they can
afford to buy you a house because they've done well
and they feel like that's something they want to do,
then that's great. You shouldn't ask, they should offer yes

(06:02):
for a start, definitely, and if you're looking at it
and going, well, this is going to make life difficult
for them, then don't take the freaking money.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah, just wait another couple of years to save a
bit more of a deposit. And I get that it
is difficult out there for a lot of people, but
delaying that for another few years while you build that up,
rather than putting that strain on your parents and for parents,
you know, why would you stretch yourself? Is it that
much precia to get your kid into a home.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
I don't think you owe your kids a house. You
owe your kids to love them, provide them with all
the food they need, everything they need for school, and
a roof over their head until they're eighteen years old.
Anything after that is an absolute bonus.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
All right, Looking forward to that chat after two o'clock
because right now, want to have a chat about romance scams.
This is after a Dunedin woman believes she may have
lost nearly eight hundred thousand dollars in savings. This is
over several years by a man she met online who
claimed to be an American general. So the woman had
been sending money to this particular person, purchasing vouchers and
transferring cryptocurrency and funds to the man over about five

(07:02):
years and thought over that time, she's potentially sent around
eight hundred thousand dollars. He has gone to the police
and provided documents and whatever else she can. The police
believe clearly that those documents are fake, and the investigation
is ongoing.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yeah, so it's getting more and more sophisticated, isn't it.
It is so you can using AI, you can provide
a whole lot of corroborating evidence, corroborating evidence that you're
the actual person. But I think this text that's come
through here sort of sums it up. I think it's
important to share these stories, even though it was deeply

(07:38):
humiliating for the people involved. My mother fell for an
immense scam. She wouldn't listen. She was buying iTunes cards
for a man she thought was her boyfriend, who she
had never met or directly talked to. He claimed to
be rich. I was asking her why he needed these
card codes, She said. She knew about scams, but this
guy was real, she says she was she would know

(07:59):
the difference. It was impossible to stop her. When he disappeared,
she was broken. We need to repeat what you said
over and over A gain which is people should never
send large amounts of money to someone they've never physically met,
or any money to someone you haven't physically met, unless
you're you know, obviously charities one thing. Yeah, I think

(08:19):
there's a line, But how do you get that message
out to people? Because it seems there's Netflix series on it,
there's often these stories in the news. It seems to
me that the idea that you don't give money to
someone you haven't met as well out there, right, So
how do people keep falling for it?

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Oh? Wait?

Speaker 3 (08:38):
One hundred eighty ten eighty is that number to call?
Share your story if you've known someone who has fallen
for this type of scam? What happened and what were
the red flags? And how did you become involved in
that situation? Nine two ninety two is the text? Is well,
keen on your stories and your view on this one?
How do these sort of scams happen in the first place?
Eight hundred thousand dollars a lot of money, So come

(08:59):
on through. I eight hundred eighty is that number? It's
a quarter past one.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Mad Heathen Tyler Adams afternoons used talks, it'd.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Be eighteen past one. So when it comes to romance
s games, how do they happen in the first place?
If it's happened to someone you know? Oh, one hundred
and eighty ten eighty is that numbered?

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Cool?

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Dallas? How are you this afternoon?

Speaker 6 (09:24):
Yeah? Good?

Speaker 5 (09:25):
Hi?

Speaker 6 (09:25):
Hi guys, how are you guys? Look a couple of
red flags. If you're interested in someone online, check up
their Facebook account. Have they got a normal Facebook account? Look,
you know, with family members or disordinary everyday things like
the rest of us, or is it just one photo

(09:47):
or two photos looking sexy or whatever. That's a big There's.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
Another one to look out for if all the photos
on someone's social media are from the same era. So
often they'll have a lot of photos, and it's that
they all look like they're from the last three months
as opposed to going back a long way.

Speaker 6 (10:05):
So just a normal Facebook or Instagram account, normal everyday thing.
Then are they willing to have video calls? Big red
flag and they say, oh, my phone's just off the brink.
I can't do international video cause I'm sorry, but I'm
just getting my well, my phone got stolen or it
just went down the toilet something like that, some excuse

(10:26):
they can't make a video call. That's a big red
flag to get it right there. And scammers will be
very impatient.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
They have no patience.

Speaker 6 (10:36):
They want to move very quickly to a relationship, and
which is abnormal. Most people are kind of bit shy
at first and takes a while to get you get
friendly with someone, doesn't it. But scammers they want to
go right there, you know, after a few text oh,
I love you, something stupid like that.

Speaker 4 (10:57):
And I guess another red flag, Dallas would be when
they start asking for money, because because you know, I've
been in relationships for a very very long time, I
never asked for any money. It's not a thing that
happens in a relationship that you ask for money off
the other person. That's a very weird thing to happen.
When you add on the fact that you've never met
them or talked to them directly, that just there must

(11:19):
be something else going on, though, Dallas, There must be.
Is it just that hole in people's hearts that they
just want to believe, you know, they just want to
believe that this is this is real.

Speaker 6 (11:29):
Oh, absolutely, We're so susceptible to flattery someone says, oh you'reful, handsome,
you know, or beautiful. We're so susceptible to that that
it's amazing how blinded we can be. But just just
watch out for the obvious things.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Yeah, yeah, good, good Dallas, Good on you, Dellis. I
can understand giving away, even though clearly I can say
right now it's a massive reflag and you should never
do it. But I can understand people giving away a
few thousand or maybe up to ten thousand. What I
can't understand is getting to eight hundred thousand dollars. I mean,
it's desperately sad. What sort of trap are they weaving
that they managed to extort that? You know, I generally

(12:13):
put my hand up if I mean, they're ever in
a situation where I do, you know, have that desperation
to have somebody.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
In my life.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
I potentially could see myself, you know, playing the full
for say five K. But at that point I would
think there'd be something in my brain to say, this
isn't right, this person isn't real. I can't go any further.
I don't actually have any more money. Some of these
people sell their property to get the money.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
So if you have a break up with may. If
I'll just set up a fake profile and then just
renew for five.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Thousand, that's all you get. In my mates, that's all
you get.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
But I think you're onto something there. I think that
the loneliness is an ache in humans with such social creatures,
that when we get lonely, it's similar to being hungry,
because it was so dangerous to be away from other
humans as we were evolving through through eons, right, so
we have evolved to feel it like an ache. So

(13:03):
if you're lonely, you were so desperate to reach out,
and we're not evolved to deal with social media, and
we're not evolved to deal with communication over long distances,
so that need to you know, quell that loneliness can
be very very very powerful.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, so true. What do you say? I went under
the eighty ten eighties and number to call get a Jenny.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Kenny.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Are you there?

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Oh? We had Jenny there? Jo God?

Speaker 8 (13:31):
Yeah, sorry, I had you on mutes. I'm at work
and I've got a few dogs around me.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Excuse, no, no problem at all.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
He loved dogs.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
We're better on mute, all right.

Speaker 8 (13:41):
So I got contacted through Facebook. They said, oh, we
love the he loved the post that I posted, and
slowly but surely builds up a relationship and then maybe
over a week and persistent messages and insistent that you
reply and impatient like the previous callers. Yet and then

(14:04):
all of a sudden, they love you, and it's crazy crazy.
I knew it was a scammer because.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
How quickly, how quickly? How quickly did you know? Jenny?

Speaker 8 (14:14):
I knew straight away. I'm suspicious all the time. But anyway,
I've played along just to see how far he go.
And like he was calling me his wife. Oh, they
insist on going to WhatsApp so that they're encrypted, and
and they beg the because being military he was he.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
Was monastery as well, this guy.

Speaker 8 (14:39):
Yep, both of them, and they were both in the
Middle East.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
And this was on two separ occasions the same thing
happened n Well, yep, and.

Speaker 8 (14:49):
One of them, the first one, he had papers to
end end his his service, but he wanted me to
pay for the the fee that they were asking for
him to end a service. And you know, big bullshit
that they can't take money out of their accounts.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
And how soon was that, Jenny, that that he asked
for that money.

Speaker 8 (15:14):
How oh there was about two or three months, right, yeah, yeah.
And then the second one. I wasn't his wife, but
the second one it was almost like he did poetry
and these huge dialogues of how beautiful I am and
how you know just that and everything. And I'll send

(15:35):
one of the messages that they're such bullshit AI or
AI generated and.

Speaker 4 (15:42):
Can you do you still have one? Could you read
one out?

Speaker 9 (15:45):
Ah?

Speaker 5 (15:46):
I could.

Speaker 4 (15:48):
I'll go into I think you're doing well. You're looking
for that. This is a good service that you could
probably do as a human being. Is if you if
you immediately know it's a scam, string the person along
as long as you possibly. Yeah, so they're wasting their
time on you and not catching someone that isn't as
savvy as you.

Speaker 8 (16:07):
Exactly. I'm just trying to find a message because I
did have this propole because after he asked for money,
I blocked him. And now I don't have the dialogue anymore.
But I'm just trying to find.

Speaker 10 (16:29):
Just bere with me.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
It will be with it. This is the big belt
on Jenny.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
Don't feel the pressure.

Speaker 8 (16:36):
I don't know if the stuff goes when he deletes it.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
Sure shall we put you on hold, will you will
you look that up, Jenny, and then we'll come back
to you. We'll give you, we'll give you a few
minutes to find it. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks for doing that, Jenny.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
All right, we'll come back to Jenny very soon. Hopefully
she's found one of these messages from the scammer looking
forward to this. It is twenty five past one.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Here yourself. Think it's the my costing breakfast.

Speaker 11 (17:03):
You'll enjoy your time left with Madame and a Kapa kingi.
Because she's starting her own party in history tells us
that it's basically the end of that. The bigger question,
of course, also is she the only one? And what's
it mean for the Maori party itself to or flabble?
Has been there done that doesn't necessarily should have mighty
MP's as well if it.

Speaker 12 (17:18):
Happens to mainstream party.

Speaker 13 (17:20):
In this particular case, she.

Speaker 14 (17:22):
Had pretty much not too many options, been ostracized in
the sense by the party will beit the court case
win in the favor, so she didn't have too many choices.

Speaker 7 (17:29):
But she's sort of tried that look total there, which
may well sort of.

Speaker 15 (17:33):
Give her a hand.

Speaker 14 (17:34):
One or two parties could be the difference at the
next election.

Speaker 11 (17:37):
Back tomorrow at six am the Mike Holsking Breakfast with
Defender News Talk ZB.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Twenty eight past one. So we're talking about romance scams
on the back of a Dnedan woman who may have
lost eight hundred thousand dollars. So how does it happen?
I eatee hundred and eighty eighteen eighty is the number
to call. Plenty of texts coming through on nine two
nine two.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
Boys, it's not just online. My father has been scammed
by a lady face to face and he can't see it.
It's heartbreaking as a family, but there's nothing we can
do or say. We have tried everything. Yeah, that is hard.
I mean that's the new scams going on, but it's
still the old school ones. I have still face to
face film flams going on. Hey guys. A few years
ago in New Zealand, here filmed a New Zealand woman
scammed for money and drugs. She ended up in a

(18:17):
tire jail she was It was a very good watch. Yeah,
I remember that other sixes my dad lost twenty k.
It wasn't even a sophisticated scam, clearly just pictures of
a model. My sister just thought, you dirty old man,
a few bikini picks and you're sending money overseas. It
feels like an idiot.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
Now, oh yeah, I mean it's tough though, wasn't it
for the old man. He's lonely, he wants some connection,
he gets roped in.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
I know, but it's really hard to you know, I
get the loneliness thing, but it's hard to get your
head around the logic floor that some incredibly hot bikini
model has decided that they are in love with a
man in his seventies in New Zealand. Yeah, it just

(19:04):
does not pass the logic test. So there's something else
going on there, right, there must be yeah, something, Yeah,
it's just and we're getting all these texts through from
people and it seems like family members know and then
can't even argue them out of it.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yeah right, keep those calls coming through. On one hundred
and eighty ten eighty and Jenny's still looking for one
of those messages. Maybe she's founded Jenny. Oh no, oh,
that's all right.

Speaker 7 (19:33):
I will.

Speaker 8 (19:34):
Unfortunately, if I find.

Speaker 4 (19:37):
A photo, yeah, yeah, it through, I will.

Speaker 8 (19:41):
Definitely get back in touch with you, because they are hilarious.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
They are.

Speaker 4 (19:45):
Please Jenny, thanks for trying.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, thank you very much. Right, headlines are coming up.
Nine to ninety two is the text number. Bang on
pass one.

Speaker 16 (19:53):
You've talked said headlines with your Ride, New Zealand's number
one taxi app. Download your ride today. A law experts
concern proposed changes to climate law provide little certainty for
businesses and others. The government's planning to clarify the Climate
Change Response Act to stop companies being sued for climate damage.

(20:15):
The Prime Minister says last week's OECD report on our
economy is a load of rubbish. Although he agrees the
superage should rise. It says building an LNG import facility
could tie us into fossil fuel dependence and the gas
electricity price link needs breaking. A teen who fatally stabbed
another at a Dunedin bus hub has failed to overturn

(20:38):
his man's laughter conviction, but his three year, three month
jail sentence has been reduced to two years seven months.
The Tourism Minister is batting off Wellington Phoenix's criticism a
government backed invitational football mat with chelseafc women in Auckland
should use the nix's higher level women's team golf course

(21:00):
housing dilemma, will adding a no complaint covenant actually stop complaints.
You can read more at zherld dot co dot nz.
Back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Thank you very much, Raylian. So we're talking about romance scams.
This is after a Duneeda woman fears she's lost eight
hundred thousand dollars over five years when she got roped
in by somebody online who claimed they were a retired
American general. So it's with police they're investigating. But how
did these sort of scams happen? If they happened to
someone in your life, how did it start and how
did it end? The one hundred and eighty ten eighties

(21:31):
and number to call get a Darryl.

Speaker 7 (21:35):
How are we doing good?

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Mate?

Speaker 7 (21:38):
I unfortunately had an injury that has stopped me from
working for quite some time, and part of the wasting
of time that I've done during that very long period
is actually taking these scammers as you described earlier and

(22:00):
leading them on.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Ah.

Speaker 7 (22:01):
So I've done it for years. In fact, the the
main sort of premise behind it ultimately was to find
out how long it took them to actually start asking
for money right, and there is an enormous variance. You'll
get those that do it within days or within a week.

(22:26):
And the longest that I have had on an ongoing
conversation with before the ask was made was just over
six months and gm very but the conversations that they
were engaging in were of a very very personal nature

(22:48):
and trying very much to ingratiate themselves on you to
a point where you would trust them implicitly, and it's there, So.

Speaker 14 (23:00):
There's a whole variation.

Speaker 7 (23:04):
Also, some have used video calls, so these people are
saying that these red flags about not doing video calls
the whole gamuts out there. There are very very sophisticated
scammers who will be able to actually do a video
call with you, have no problem making a phone call

(23:27):
with you, but the vast majority of them do want
to keep it on a text type basis, be it
through email or social media apps. But the reality is
the level of sophistication goes from someone who's really just
trying it on, doesn't know what they're doing, and is
asking for money very quickly to those that actually do

(23:50):
have an enormous amount of patients and they're probably stringing
along hundreds of people at a time in this and
so you have to be very much aware that they can,
in fact involve themselves in your life to a point
where it becomes that I would think relatively easy to

(24:13):
think they are someone you can trust.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
How do they how do you because you've got a
few that you've dealt with, Darryl, how do they contact you?

Speaker 7 (24:23):
In the first instance, again using the gambit of what
is available out there, Facebook, just standard email, to WhatsApp,
I mean, the whole lot, all of the social media,
all of the messaging at and emails are all being used.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, right, and so you'll get You'll get some kind
of message and you'll go, Okay, this is a scam,
and then you bread crumb them. For want of a
bit of term, you.

Speaker 7 (24:52):
Pratically yep, yeah, for as long as I possibly can.

Speaker 5 (24:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (24:56):
I haven't done it for a while, I will be honest.
But there was a period of time where I was
finding it quite entertaining, and I had thirteen or fourteen
of them on the go at once age.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
It's a lot of my friends.

Speaker 7 (25:12):
My friends would come in and ask me what I've
been doing that day, and I'll tell them that.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
I think I'm as mad.

Speaker 5 (25:17):
As that now.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
But well, they think they're scamming you, Darryl. They can't
scam someone else. You're wasting their time, so you're actually
doing a great service.

Speaker 7 (25:27):
Well, I'm not entirely convinced of that particular argument, again,
because I think they're probably scamming hundreds of a time,
and the amount of time that's involved in those conversations
back and forth is not enormous. But I take your point.
At least they are wasting their time on someone.

Speaker 4 (25:48):
And what about when they what about when they work
out that you have been wasting their time? How does
that play out?

Speaker 7 (25:54):
Literally, for the most part, they literally just stop making contact.

Speaker 14 (26:00):
It just ceases.

Speaker 7 (26:02):
I have, however, had a few where they have left
it for a few weeks and then tried to things
back up again as well. So there's a level of
persistence in some of them. And I think that again
comes back to whether they are a highly sophisticated network
of scammers or whether there's just one off idiot that's
trying to actually pull one over on someone. And again,

(26:25):
I think that's the level that you're dealing with here,
from the basic idiot to the full on probably a
room full of people scamming hundreds of them at a time,
and there's a huge amount of money being made.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
Absolutely, and as you say, like if they've got a
heavy operation, they only have to be successful and you
know one and you know, you know, ten thousand tries.
How do they first ask for money? Generally, Darryl how quick?
How is the first money approach made?

Speaker 7 (26:55):
Look, again, there's a fairly wide gambit of ways they
pull into that. There's an emergency situation where they can't
get hold of any one of their own family, or
there's I mean, to be honest with you, it's so wide.
There's not one specific idea that's used. And I think

(27:18):
again that comes across from the point of view that
they're not trying to look like the same every time
they do it. If they do, that becomes something that
becomes very easy for people to pick up on.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
And they and do they want critic do they want
direct money transfers? Because a few people are text in
on saying that they want they you know, I'm not
sure if they're still around, but ituned vouchers and Google
Play vouchers and stuff.

Speaker 7 (27:42):
The whole gambit of those so you've got the gift
card type things, you've direct deposits into accounts, you've got
transfers via the I can't remember the name of it now,
but there's a whole number of different ways you can

(28:03):
transfer money, particularly when you're having to send it overseas,
and so there's again, it's not just one thing. The
way they go about asking for it can be very
subtle to very blunt, and the amounts that they ask

(28:23):
for can also vary quite markedly. The ones that tend
to take the longest amount of time to ask you
for money tend to also start asking for small amounts
of money and will then try and build up that
amount so that they're not looking for it to be

(28:44):
a one off. They're actually wanting to keep you on
so they can get you multiple times, and each time
they get you, you become a little bit more comfortable
with it, and therefore the amounts that you send become
easier to be larger.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Yeah, so that's sort of how it happens, doesn't it.
The first thing seems okay, that's doable, then you're in things.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Break breaking down those barriers. Yeah, Darryl, fascinating stuff. You
should start a YouTube channel.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
If I got you know, I've had some downtime. I
think it'd be I think it's you know, God's work,
bread crumbing scammers.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Yeah, yeah, God's work.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
Now there's great. There's great YouTube channels. There's one called
Scammer Payback right that that's really good. I mean those
ones go intense because you know, they go up against
these whole rooms of scammers that are scamming people. And
then I've seen ones with Scammer Payback the YouTube channel
where they hack into the computer. There they start installing
malware on the scammers computer. Then they turn they start

(29:44):
telling them exactly where they are. There's ones we have
turned the camera on on the computer of the scammer
and seeing images back to them. Yeah, there's some good stuff.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
Out there that's high level. Oh, one hundred and eighty
ten eighty is the number of calls. So when it
comes to romance scams, how does it happen? And if
it's happened to you or a family member, what's your story?
It's seventeen to two.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Mattie Taylor Adams with you as your afternoon rolls on
Heathen Tyler Adams Afternoons used talks they'd be.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
Fourteen to two. We're talking about romance scams. If you've
been affected at one hundred and eighty ten, eighties number
to call.

Speaker 4 (30:16):
Graham says is a very good podcast called scammer Land
that describes the entire towns that have been set up
in Minima, Myanmar to house kidnapped tourists who are forced
to work these scams.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Well, yeah, it's a great podcast. I'd listen to it.
But they when they say tourists, it's most often people
from Thailand's they convinced to get across the border and
then they put them into those scammer farms. But big operations.
We're talking billions and billions of dollars.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
I love scammers. It's like fishing. See how long you
can stuff them around, and how mad they get and
pushy they become, and to see how quick you can
hook them and reel them in real good fun beat
spying a boat. I've talked to many of them.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
There you go, yeah, all right, okay, scammer fishing.

Speaker 4 (30:59):
And this says great scamming movie. The Beekeeper by Jason Statham.
Huge Jason Stathan fam be Beekeepers a great movie. Essentially
that's complicated. He's part of this underground organization called the Beekeepers. Right,
he's like a heavily trained operative, but he's retired and
he's also beekeeping when he's retired for an old lady

(31:20):
who gets scammed. So Jason Stathan goes and kills everyone.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
He plays that role very well. Jason Stathum, I could
almost pick that was the plot. Philip, how are you mate?

Speaker 17 (31:30):
Oh okay, boys could think how are you guys?

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (31:32):
Goods.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
What do you got to say on this one?

Speaker 17 (31:35):
Well, I've got a little story that I'll get on
to that, But firstly, good on Jason Dacent Fatum as well.
Watch that movie.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Yeah it's a good thing.

Speaker 6 (31:45):
Yeah, good stuff.

Speaker 17 (31:48):
I feel incredible. It's incredibly sad this lady you know,
and that for four years. And that's the thing for me.
It's hard for me to get my head around as
how you could be scammed or let it go for
four years without actually meeting this person or at least
having a video call of some sort. Whether it's through
what say for that, I don't know. But and I'm

(32:11):
thinking also like where were the poor lady's family or friends,
you know, or did she just keep it from them.
What's that?

Speaker 4 (32:20):
Sorry? Yeah, eight hundred thousand over five years, you know,
just you just what to be so lonely.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
I guess, well that's yeah.

Speaker 17 (32:28):
I mean that's what blows me away, the eight hundred
k and the four year period or four or five years.
But like that's the other thing I was going to
say before I get onto Maui's story, that the real
tragedy is she, like you say, the real tragedy for
me is that she must have just been incredibly lonely
to you know, to fall for it.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
You know, So what's your experience for what happened to you?

Speaker 5 (32:51):
Well, that's got a story.

Speaker 17 (32:53):
It's not really a romantic thing. It's a bit more
it is to do a scamming and and and a woman.
And it was more sort of me looking for a
bit of a venture on a dating side, if you
know what I mean. And this lady showed me some
interest and she asked me to send the basic I'm
kind of sub hitting it, she basically asked me. And
the picture of her looked really good, you say't about

(33:13):
the models before, you know, the older fella, And she
basically asked me to send her one hundred dollars, you know,
and I thought, hmm, okay, I thought.

Speaker 5 (33:22):
I'll do that.

Speaker 17 (33:22):
I'll just throw out a weed test because I had
my suspicions because we were doing a bit of communication.
So I thought, okay, I'll sacrifice one hundred dollars and
throw we test out and see what happened. So she
sent me account number, and I think it was through PayPal.
The fellow was saying before they had on various ways
of paying these things. So I sent, I sent one
hundred dollars and I got this message back from a

(33:45):
fellow in England, and I went into his pay pay account,
you know, and he's saying, look, I don't know who
you are, but I'm going to refund your money back.
And he had been and he'd been in contact with
his woman as well, and he thought, oh, I thought
she was such and such and such, and I said, no, no,
she's on the site and she's contacted me. So he
got her heads up as well. But she come back
to me, and she kept trying a couple of times.

(34:06):
She come back to me and she said, oh, I
just got one of my numbers wrong, gave you the
wrong account. Sorry, we can still have a relationship. But
that was it for me, I thought, No, what happened
is that.

Speaker 4 (34:16):
She mixed up her accounts and gave an account of
someone else that she was scamming.

Speaker 17 (34:20):
Well, that's what she said, that's what she said. You'd
try to tell me, you know that I just got
the wrong number. I put a wrong number in.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
But yeah, that was some word by that scammer, Phil
Well it was tailer.

Speaker 17 (34:30):
And luckily I had enough sense, had enough sense to go, no,
that's that.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
Yeah, good on your feel and I reckon from now on.
Don't give them any money.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Not even a Hondi bucks for Jenny.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
Jenny, you found one of those Yes, you found one
of those ticks from a scammer. Good on you, Thanks
for working on that.

Speaker 8 (34:47):
Okay, Good morning, my sweetheart angel emoji love hearts flowers
at the first rays of the sun stretch across the sky.
I feel them carrying my love to you, warming your
heart and wrapping you in the gentle embrace of nature's beauty.
Imagine the soft morning breeze brushing your cheeks, spring my

(35:09):
love to your soul, and the birds singing as if
they are sharing with hearing the world. How deeply I
adore you. May your day be as bright as the
sunlight and that does on the leaves and come and
soothing as the morning jew as full of life and

(35:31):
joy of the blooming flowers around us. Honey, May the
power of nature itself bless your every moment today, filling
your heart with peace, strength and sweetness, happyiness.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
What's the bank account? I'm ready to give everything. I'm
willing to give every scene I've got to this beautiful
poem or person with check.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
What a wet blanket run for the hells you? What
a soy boy.

Speaker 8 (35:56):
I will love you forever, every sason, every moment we share,
my darling, you are my heart, my soul.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
Oh how soon into the commune dcation was this beautiful
poem sent to you, Jenny?

Speaker 8 (36:12):
Oh? About four months? Oh no, no less than that
that three months?

Speaker 4 (36:16):
Wow? Wow, that is really lacquering it on?

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Certainly is it trap?

Speaker 4 (36:22):
That was? And so at what point? How far from
this poem is then the request for some cash?

Speaker 12 (36:33):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (36:33):
Well, he didn't actually ask, but all of a sudden
he disappeared when the bombing started in Humus because he
was supposedly in Q eight and so, and I kept saying,
you know you need to be careful, blah blah blah,
and he says, oh, no.

Speaker 14 (36:51):
We patrolled.

Speaker 8 (36:52):
You know, we're safe as houses.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
But just just sitting there and writing beautiful poetry to you.

Speaker 8 (36:59):
Oh well, it's obvious that it's Ai.

Speaker 5 (37:07):
Sying.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
So for finding there for us, well worth it, thank
you very much.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
Well would that work on you?

Speaker 18 (37:12):
Tyler?

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Yeah, it started to get me across the line. Actually,
you know it was very beautiful.

Speaker 18 (37:16):
Right.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
Oh, one hundred eighty ten eighty is number to call.
I'm going to play some messages, but beg very shortly.
It is seven to two. Probably wrapped.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Matt Heath, Taylor Adams taking your calls on eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty. It's mad Heath and Tyler Adams
afternoons News Talk.

Speaker 3 (37:33):
ZEDB News Talk z B. It is a five minutes
to do. Just a quick couple of texts here, giday, guys,
I had a family member who fell into a romance scam.
Ended up losing about one hundred and twenty thousand dollars.
By that stage, we did obviously find out because the
bank got ahold of us, but it was increasingly difficult

(37:54):
to try and explain that the person they had been
communicating with was not real. We didn't get any of
that money back. I want to say that they learned
to lessen, but I feel thus still ripe for falling
into that sort of scam again.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Yeah, I mean, if you haven't met someone in person
and spend a lot of time with them, then you
don't know them. I think that's a good rule of fun.
Video calls can be faked even if it gets that far.
And if you haven't met them, you certainly are not
in a relationship with them. And as soon as they
ask for any amount of money at all in any form,
they are definitely trying to scam you. Yep. Just you

(38:29):
know that as soon as I ask for any amount
of money, cut it off immediately. And this, of course
you've decided to breed crumb them like Daryl was doing.
Then you're doing God's work. Waste as much of their
time as you can. But yes, if you haven't spent
actual physical time with people face to face, then you
don't know them. Even then. Who asked for money off

(38:50):
someone exactly? Yeah, a romantic partner, a potential romantic partner.
You don't ask for money, even if it's face.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
To face good PSA that one, and thank you to
all the callers and teachers coming up after two o'clock
The Bank of Mum and Dad will team more soon.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Talking with you all afternoon. It's Matt Heathen Adams Afternoons
News Talk.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Zivy Afternoon too. You're welcome back into the show. Suits
past two just before we get to the Bank of
Mum and Dad discussion.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
Yeah, I mesmerized, mesmerized by this Benedict Benedict Cumberbatch audio
of an argument he had with the cyclist on the
streets of London he was cycling as well. Benedict Cumberbatch, Benedict,
I keep going, Bernadict cumber Batch. I don't eve think
Bernadict is a name. Eggs Benedict comber Bat.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
There you go.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
Yeah, and what's interesting about it? It interests me about
it is no matter how to how rich and famous,
and I don't know, supposedly, Zen, you are a lot
of people just don't see that happy. No, if I
was Benedict Cumberbatch and I would just not get into
a ten minute argument with someone about cycling on the road.

(39:55):
I would just go on cumber Batch com a batch
out yep.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
I'm going to go millions of dollars a mansion, probably
a beautiful wife. I've got kids.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
He definitely has a beautiful wife. Yeah, and kids. I'm
just going back to my mansion to sleep it my
bath of money. But here he is arguing with this
this guy on the side of ten minutes he spent
arguing here we go, here we go, here we go,
here go the entire.

Speaker 19 (40:24):
Completely, repeatedly, once and then crossing I did, taking on
lying I was behind you the entire time.

Speaker 4 (40:44):
It just goes on and on.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Imagine the guy getting into the scrap worth Worth Bernadict's
adict Benedict come a batch. I mean, if you're there,
random cyclist and you know, you know this is a
Hollywood a star, multi millionaire, and you're you're calling him
a numpty and yelling at him, I mean you're gonna
look at yourself.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
Well, he didn't call him a numpty. I mean, only
you would say the word numpty. I love that the
only person that sees numpty in the last twenty five
But also it is ironic that we're calling him Benedict
Cumberbatch after hastling him a couple of weeks ago about
his an ability to pronounce the word penguin because he
says pingling in that documentary. But yeah, it just seems

(41:23):
odd that he's just willing to get involved in a
ten minute argument. All so, why is he riding around
on such a humiliating bike with a His bike has
got a basket, yes, Benedict Cumberbatch eggs bended at cumavetch.
He's got this humiliating basket on his bike. He's wearing
a brain bucket, a skid lid.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yep, he's got some sort of bandanna on.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
It just goes to show, no, how famous and rich
and successful you are, as soon as you get on
a bike, you're going to get angry and start arguing
with people.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
We're all humans soon as soon as you're on a
push bike.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah, there's something about a push bike that makes people
want to stand on the street and have arguments with people.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
Being on Yeah. Anyway, we're great audio and if you
want to see the video you can find it very easy.
It's a great watch. Right, let's move on to this discussion.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
It's going to be a good one.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
The Bank of Mum and Day So it's a new
report on New Zealand housing trends, and it found that
nearly half a first time buyers ages eighteen to thirty
nine expect financial help from the bank of mum and
dad to buy a home, but many also worry about
the strain that this puts on their parents. So the
survey also found out seventy percent of those receiving family
support felt concerned about the financial pressure on their parents,

(42:28):
especially as retirement savings and rising cost of living Living
remains an issue so financial experts love wand and awaiting.
They warned parents should make sure that they can still
fund their own retirement before helping children out. Yeah, but
it's the pressure to get your child into a home
so great that you would stretch yourself as a parent.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
Do you think that you owe your kids to get
them a home? I mean, let alone, whether it puts
you in financial risk. You don't owe your kids are home,
So you definitely don't owe your kids to help them
get into a home such that it puts you in
financial peril, you know. I like, sure, if you have

(43:09):
the money and you'll be sweet in retirement and you
sort it out, then go for your life. But if
you can't afford it, surely, surely you don't know your
kids at home, right? You owe your kids a home
while they're kids, Yeah, Well, their children them a loving
home with food on the table, a secure home, everything
they need for school. But once they're eighteen, anything after

(43:32):
that is bonus, right Yeah. I mean I don't think
I owe my kids a house. My parents didn't think
they owed me a house.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Would you if they came to you and said, I've
got most of the deposit together, but I need an
extra twenty k to get it over the line, what
would you do at that point.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
If they asked me for it?

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Yeah, you can't go asking.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
Your parents for money for a house. If you're a parent,
you can offer it if that's what you want to do.
But who would go and ask their parents for money?

Speaker 3 (43:58):
Yeah, for a house?

Speaker 4 (43:59):
That seems extremely rude to me.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Well, that you and I are both in the same situation,
right as I knew my mum and my dad weren't
in a position to help me out to get into
a house. So I knew that, so it took me
a little bit longer to get to the deposit. But
my partner now fiance, she was in a position to
get a bit of a helping hand from her parents,
and I was okay with that, that's their situation to
sort out. But I knew, but I knew that I

(44:26):
had to do it. You know, I had to do
it on my own beat. And that's not you know,
my parents were fantastic. They just didn't have the ability
at that point in time for any extra help to
boost up the deposit. But whether that's unique in this
day and age, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (44:41):
I just don't think. I think you can do it,
and that's great, but I think there's absolutely no obligation,
no matter how money much money you have, to help
your kids into a home. That's not part of the deal.
You spend the time to make sure that they're competent
such that they can make their own way in the world.

(45:02):
I think it's your job to spend every cent you
have while you're alive. Yep, after your kids out, well,
I would hate for my parents. I would be disgusted.
I mean, my lovely mum has passed, but I would
hate to think that they were missing out on things
to sort me out into a home when I'm in
my twenties or thirties or forties. Yeah, I'd hate to

(45:23):
think that they've done that, but that that it's over absolutely.
I know, maybe I'm wrong. O. One hundred and eighteen eighty.
Do you owe your kids the house?

Speaker 3 (45:32):
Yeah, that's a great question. Nine two nine two. And
if you have been in a position to help them
out and put you under financial pressure, keen on your
story as well. It is thirteen past two.

Speaker 4 (45:43):
You also don't owe them to leave them anything at
all that you would, you know, not go on some
kind of trip or whatever, or go out for dinner
a hundred times because you want to leave an inheritance
for your kids. No speed up, spend the kids inheritance.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
Oh, eight hundred eighty ten Eightyes, that number to call
thirteen past two.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Your home of afternoon talk Mad Heathen Taylor Adams afternoon call.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty youth talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Sixteen past two. There is more pressure on the bank
of mum and dad than ever before. So do you
have a responsibility to get your child into a house? Oh,
one hundred and eighty ten eighties number.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
A good parent will put away something aside. A good
parent will put something aside from day one to help
the kids out. We have trust one for education, one
for housing at least help them with a head start.
I mean, a good parent could do that, but equally
a good parent, you could be a good parent to
not do that. Yeah, you could be a good parent
and just house and feed and be a loving parent

(46:44):
up to the point where they're an adult and you
let them go off and make their way in the world. Yep,
you know.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
And a lot of people feel that way. Yeah, nine
nine two certis get Adenny hell.

Speaker 5 (46:53):
Over there, Yeah, banger, Mum and dad. Yeah, I think
it's it's a useful thing if we helped our kids out.
But when I started off in my life, I had
a bit of ash yet and I didn't have much money.
But anyway, I would talk about encountered about trying to
help a family member out by going guarantee on a
loan for them, And my accountant did, don't you ever
do that, because a moment you go guarantee, all the

(47:16):
response is on you and none is on a guaranteur.
If the guaranteer doesn't pay, the bank comes after you.
They don't even chase the person you've guaranteed, They chase you.
So he had he advised me strongly able to do that,
and I've seen a friend of mine went down and
lost their home because they guaranteed a nephew who didn't
pay his mortgage, and the bank just came and took

(47:38):
this friend's house. So that that's my little mistle message.
They give you kids a help, but never go guarantee.

Speaker 9 (47:44):
Right.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
That's interesting and like a nephew is quite you know,
that's pretty generous to be a guarant guarantee to a
to a nephew. I mean, you definitely don't definitely, definitely
not responsible for your nephew.

Speaker 5 (47:59):
But he thought it wasn't any any consequence because he
didn't have to pay the money. He just to guarantee
the loan and the nephew would pay it, and all
the roses. He thought. He didn't think he's exposed. You
didn't know how exposed he was. And anyway, my account
would already advised me. So I'd sighed away. I was
actually going to help a family member, but he said,
don't ever do that.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
Have you got kids, Denny, Yeah, both of them, and
if you and you've helped both of them into what
was the deposit.

Speaker 5 (48:28):
Well with a deposit or money towards a cash helped towards.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
It Did that put you in any kind of financial
risk yourself?

Speaker 13 (48:38):
No?

Speaker 4 (48:38):
Right? And did you feel like there was something that
you had to do or was something that you wanted
to do.

Speaker 5 (48:47):
I wanted to do.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
Did they ask you or did you offer?

Speaker 16 (48:50):
No?

Speaker 5 (48:51):
No, they did not ask me. No, we just offered.

Speaker 4 (48:54):
That's I think that's totally fine.

Speaker 9 (48:57):
Right.

Speaker 4 (48:57):
If you're a parent and you can and you offer
and it doesn't put your retirement into risk, then it's
a very beautiful thing to do. But would you have
thought it weird for your kids? One of your kids
that come up and asked for the money.

Speaker 5 (49:14):
Well, there's so much not like that. I couldn't imagine that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Yeah, because there's that sneaky pressure that I imagine happens
quite a bit Danny, where you know, the kids will
be looking for a property and then they go back
and mum and dad will say, how did the viewing go?

Speaker 5 (49:29):
Say?

Speaker 3 (49:29):
Pretty good? So we need this much of a deposit
and we've only got you know, we need two hundred thousand,
we've only got one hundred and fifty, so we can't
get the house sadly, and you know, the message there is, Hey,
if you can help us out with an extra fifty grands,
you might make our dreams come true. I imagine that
sort of pressure would be hard to say no too.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
Well, it would be, but you know, for us it
doesn't be an issue because we had the resources. We
didn't overextend ourselves, and I guess, I mean, anyone can
extend themselves no matter what they've got, so we just
were more cautious than that. We didn't overextend ourselves being
able to help the kids, and it was really good
and we wanted to.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
It is good on you, Danny.

Speaker 5 (50:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
I mean you can imagine the situation where a kid
comes back and goes, oh, i'd love you know, they're
just sitting around the dinner table.

Speaker 9 (50:14):
I love.

Speaker 4 (50:15):
It'd be so good if we could buy a house,
and we just don't have the deposit. So I guess
we'll never have a house. I guess we'll just be
destined to live on the street. If only there was someone,
but I guess there's no one that could help us.
You know that kind of emotional Yeah, yeah, which it is.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
It's a straight up blackmail, which is hard apprecia for
appearance to deal with. But what do you say, O
one hundred and eighty ten eighty. So is the bank
of Mum and Dad. Do you have a responsibility to
help your child into a property or do you abide
by the the thinking that they should do it on
their own back.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
My dad always said he would help me out, but
not at the detriment of his retirement. I tend to
do the same philosophy for my kids. Yeah, that's fine,
smart thinking. Yeah, but as soon as they ask, that's
a no. Yeah, the little shits, I think they're owed it.
That's a big fan.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Do you agree? Twenty one past two beckon a month.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Matt Heathan Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty on News Talks EDB.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
News Talks ed B. So, the Bank of Mum and
Dad are under more pressure than ever, according to a
recent survey where you go, oh one hundred and eighty
ten eighties the number to call love to hear your story.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
I hate the term the bank of Mum and Dad,
and we've already said it a thousand times. Yeah, it
seems like someone thought they were amazing when they came
up with that saying, and they've just been celebrating ever since.
Someone would have written an article and go the bank
of moment.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
Then shall we come up with a new saying taking
taking your parents' money.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Parental assistance into housing.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
Yeah that's nice, Yeah, very good. It's very very government department.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
Hey guys, are you talking about gifting or alone, which
which could be for a few years one scenario very
different from the other. A. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah,
a good point. I think we're talking about both of them, Dave,
Welcome to the show. A very good things.

Speaker 12 (52:11):
They polled by house to day and they're struggling to
get the money. If they didn't spend money on their
tattoos and having everything on HP, they might have enough
money for a deposit. The younger ones that they want tattoos,
they want the fleshes, carry everything, and they haven't got
the money. But they put wrong too. But I was

(52:34):
eighteen and I went to the bank to get a
loan by a house and the bank approved the loan.
I came home and they had said to me, do
you know how much you're going to pay over twenty
years interest in orders? Yeah? They had said to me,
I'll lend you the money interest free five years, right, right?

Speaker 16 (52:57):
Right?

Speaker 5 (52:58):
How much?

Speaker 4 (53:00):
How much? Was that at the time, If you don't
mind me asking.

Speaker 12 (53:02):
Dave, at the time, you're look at about two hundred
and thirty thousand.

Speaker 4 (53:08):
You and I did you pay that off?

Speaker 12 (53:11):
And I had yep, yep, yep, paid off for them
four years.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Four years, all right, that's said some good.

Speaker 12 (53:18):
Years every even if I found ten dollars on the footpath,
I'd give it to dead. I gave dead every seat
I could earn because I had for three for four years,
five years interest free. Wow, So I knew what the peaks.
Back in those days. The banks were charging twenty eight
percent interest.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Well, so was the two hundred and thirty Was it
for the whole house or or the deposit.

Speaker 12 (53:45):
For the whole house?

Speaker 5 (53:46):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (53:46):
Yeah, right, so you were doing pretty doing pretty well
to be being able to pay your dad back fifty
to fifty five thousand dollars a year back then, day.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Dave, we lost of no tattoos, no tattoes.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
No tattoos. See like I'm looking at our producer Lock,
who's twenty one. He's covered in tattoos.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
You'll never get a problem. They have way too many
Tat's why I even got a house mate. Way too
many tats can you get your money back on those Tyler? Yeah, no,
tats clean skin, mate. Look at that owns a house.
I've got one house.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
Me quite a few tests also got a house.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
You've got a house as well. Thank you very much
for your call, Dave one hundred and eighty today is
nubery to call get agenis.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Hi there?

Speaker 15 (54:29):
I just wanted to give another thought on this banker
Mom and dad brilliant. We sort of talked to our
kids quite a lot about the importance of owning a
home right from as soon as you start earning to
start saving, and how some had lots of other things
that he thought he'd like to spend money on. But

(54:52):
we said to him when he got the first job
that we would match them dollar for dollar for what
he could save in the next two years.

Speaker 14 (55:02):
And I'll tell you what, we were both.

Speaker 15 (55:06):
Hugely surprised, almost negative, how much he managed to save.
He really got into it, and that was the start
of meeting a saving mentality.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
It's a nice way to do it, Jennis. I can
see that strategy that you're you're teaching a great habit
of putting as much money away as you can. Clearly
you know there's a chance that a backfires on you
and you give them way more than you expected to.
But that is a nice middle ground that you're teaching
some good skills and then by the time they get
into a position, maybe get into a house, then you've
you've got to come up with the other half.

Speaker 15 (55:43):
Oh no, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, you Yeah.
We were pretty happy to do that. I had to say,
because the whole.

Speaker 20 (55:51):
You know, it just stopped that.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Yeah, more and more.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
Good on your Jennis, Thank you very much for giving
us a buzz. Your phone line is just playing up
there a little bit. But sounds like a good strategy.

Speaker 4 (56:06):
Boys. If the bank of moment had big players in
the first home buyer market, then doesn't that tell you
that the price of the first house is too high
and has been distorted by an advance on their inheritance
it Maybe they may though, need a couple of generations
to work that through. Yeah, so what was the exact figure?

(56:27):
So there's a lot of first time buyers out there
at the moment, there are, which is a positive thing,
but I think it was was it?

Speaker 3 (56:35):
It was forty eight percent? I think of first home
buyers need financial help from their parents to get into
a property.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
Yeah, so forty eight, that's not saying you know what
percentage of that is or what their actual financial help is.
Could be two hundred and fifty bucks, it could be
two on fifty thousand. But also that's the statistic there
in the server that I found interesting was that seventy
percent of them felt guilty for what it was doing
to their parents giving them the money. So I'm like,

(57:01):
you're scum if you're taking the money if your parents
and feeling guilty about taking the money so you can
get into a house. You shouldn't have taken the money.
If if your parents can't afford it, then what are
you doing?

Speaker 3 (57:13):
Yeah, hold off buying a house for a couple of years.
I'll just say on those statistics as well, because it
doesn't break it down, I imagine that there's a lot
of single first home buyers out there as well, So
that makes a big difference. If you're just trying to
get into a property by yourself, then you need a
much bigger deposit just as a single person. If you
peer up with someone, obviously it becomes a bit easier.
But we know that you know, more more younger people

(57:34):
are single than ever before. So that comes into the
stats as well.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
Yeah, the young people these days, they can't even be
bothered committing to someone, get a partner for goodness sake.
They're all running around late at night. Hokups, settle down,
getting tattoos, start a family, buying coffees.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
It's scautter control right. It is bang on holp us too,
But taking your calls on oh, eight hundred and eighty
ten eighty, if you've helped your children out to get
into a house, we'd love to hear your story. There's
hlp us too.

Speaker 4 (58:04):
Is it still the done thing to try and marry
someone with rich parents?

Speaker 3 (58:10):
It's a good strategy, works out more often than not.
But tell us your stories back.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
And amoc.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
You've talk said be headlines with.

Speaker 16 (58:18):
Your Ride, New Zealand's number one taxi app. Download your
ride today. The government appears to believe claims relating to
climate change shouldn't be resolved in court as it moves
to stop companies being sued for climate damage from their emissions.
It will apply to an ongoing High Court case against
six emitters, including Fonterra zero founder Sir Rod Drury is

(58:42):
no longer speaking at the Electrified Queenstown Business Summit after
four women have claimed historical and appropriate behavior. Drury has
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the other two women. Insurer AIA says middle aged men
are still over represented in heart disease, with ninety three

(59:02):
point five million dollars going into heart related claims last year.
A key we caught up in a deadly shipboard hunter
virus outbreak is heading to quarantine in Perth. In Facts
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markets treading water, with the average national home value up

(59:23):
zero point three percent since January to just over nine
hundred and ten thousand dollars. Des dessert shop owner calls
for wholesalers to step up as butter prices spike again.
You can see the story at nzidherld.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
Dot co dot nz.

Speaker 16 (59:39):
Now back to Matteth and Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
Thank you very much, Rayleen, so almost to half a
first time by his age eighteen to thirty nine, expect
financial help from their appearance. So do you have a
responsibility as a parent to help your child into a home.
I eight one hundred eighty ten eighties number to.

Speaker 4 (59:54):
Call, Hi, guys, I would rather loan or gift a
kid's money for housing, et cetera. Sis, Liz, if we
had the spear money while they needed it when they
are younger, then leave it in our wills after we
have gone. It's a no brainer, as when we were
younger with young family, that is the time that we
needed it, rather than when they are older and not
so burdened with debt and a young family. I mean,

(01:00:14):
if you've got the money, great, absolutely go hard and
then you can still have a retirement. But the seventy
percent of the forty eight percent that say they need
money from fath parental housing allocation of funds. Nice man,
you know, so seventy percent of those people feel a

(01:00:34):
bit guilty about it. Yeah, playing financial pressure on the parent,
that's the use. You're putting financial pressure on your parents
in their later years. That's not great, is it is?

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
Yes?

Speaker 14 (01:00:43):
Good afternoon, gentlemen, New Zealand. We've taken a different approach
to the wife and I. We've had a daughter just
come out of university, say three years ago, with a
considerable amount of debt one hundred thousand dollars basically, even
with some support and we thought that she was going
to have to she'd be she's quite driven, and we
thought that she was going to be financially bugging for

(01:01:06):
a while, to be honest, for buying a house. So
we had a conversation with her quite early and said, look,
just it used to paying rent and paying off your debt,
and you're just going to have to wait. Well, we
did speak quite candidly whe her. Instead, if we gave
you the deposit for the house, it's going to be
about probably a third of our disposable income when we retire,

(01:01:27):
and that's going to really seriously affect our lifestyle. And
it took a lot of pressure off her, I believe,
to actually, you know, to actually see that there is
a way in the end and that doesn't have to
be done immediately.

Speaker 16 (01:01:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
I mean, you know, I can't understand that because that's
a big figure that seventy percent of those receiving that
money feel concerned that they're putting pressure on their parents.
I mean, you know what parent out there isn't saying
to their children, we'd love to help you, but we can't.
We just don't have the money there. We're almost at
retirement and we've planned out our next ten years. I
just you know, I can't understand why those conversations aren't happening.

Speaker 14 (01:02:06):
Is yeah, take all our fun things are that bad?
Put it this way, she's quite willing to pay rent.
You don't want to live here with us, So yeah,
she's going to have to wait. You know, hopefully we
do have a little bit of a pot of gold
left when when we're done. But you just don't know
what life holds, and and for us it's quite it's
probably a little bit unfeasible to give her. You know,

(01:02:28):
you probably need one hundred and fifty thousand dollars now
for a deposit for a house, and when you're paying
off one hundred thousand dollars with a student loan, it
takes a long time to save.

Speaker 5 (01:02:38):
You know.

Speaker 14 (01:02:39):
Yeah, my wife and I both work and we couldn't
save one hundred thousand dollars and five years. So she's
got to pay a debt off and then save another
hundred thousand. Well yeah, yeah, she's within ten years of
us popping our cogs in. She must just wait.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Yeah, yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
I mean, yes, that's an interesting way to look at it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
Yeah it is. But just just on the you know,
the wait in a couple of years. I mean that
was generally my situation before I met my partner. That
I I had a look at a couple of smaller
properties and cross leases from one bedroom and ran the
numbers and talked to a broker and came back and said, look,
I just can't can't make it work. And I knew
I wasn't going to get the money from mum and
dad because they didn't have it. So then I just
had to wait a couple of years until that deposit

(01:03:23):
went up a little bit. But that gave the motivation
I supposed to get across the line. And then luckily
I hooked up with someone who had the cash as well,
which helped.

Speaker 4 (01:03:30):
Is that why you hooked up with her?

Speaker 17 (01:03:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:03:32):
Definitely money.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Yeah, you get across the line because I loved her
dearly and she's my soul mate.

Speaker 4 (01:03:37):
Dirty gold digger. We've got a gold digger on the
line over here. There's a lot out there.

Speaker 5 (01:03:42):
Man.

Speaker 14 (01:03:43):
Yeah, Well it would be nice, actually, but no, I
haven't made that chance. Well my girls, Okay, she seems
quite happy with that, and it means, look if she
if she does financially really good before then she can
charge into it, not a problem, and if she does
need maybe twenty or something to help, we'd gladly give it,
if you know what I mean. But we can't give.

(01:04:05):
You can't. You can't give your whole allies to them.

Speaker 4 (01:04:13):
Exactly. Good on you, Deares This Texas is Matt, you
are such a blowhard. That's accurate. Once a kid is eighteen,
they are their own you. So you're not helping your
son out with one dollar for his UNI fees and accommodation.
Do you charge them rent in the UNI holidays? Chump
Wow says this bizarre text as I didn't say that.

(01:04:34):
I just said that you're not obliged to the idea
that parents feel like they have to give money to
their kids such that it causes them financial harm and
such that they are their their retirement is not a
pleasant situation, so they don't have enough money for retirement

(01:04:55):
and they're giving money to their kids. All I'm saying
is that you don't owe them that you can if
you want and if you've got the money to and
I do having to have the money to help my
kids out, and so I will. But I'm just saying
that you're not you don't owe them anything other than
to bring them up to adult.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
There's not an obligation any And again, hearing seventy percent
of those people getting money from mum and dad for
a home feel that they put them under financial pressure,
that is a massive percentage to say, mum and dad
might struggle if they help me out. I'm into a
house and so be it. I mean, that's that's a
strange position to be in.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
Yeah, But as I say, I'm definitely in a blowhard
and I would hate to be anything other than a blowhard. Again,
wouldn't be on talk, I wouldn't be on the radiof
I wasn't a bit of a Blowhardt.

Speaker 3 (01:05:35):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
Welcome to the show, Angela.

Speaker 21 (01:05:39):
Yes, Hi, Hi.

Speaker 22 (01:05:41):
You Yeah, calling about shared ownership. Yeah, we have four
young young adults in their twenties. They've all got partners.
The last thing they want interested right now is in
mortgage's engagement or marriage. They're more interested in traveling and
and their money. They've all gone through university, so they've

(01:06:03):
all got debt and they're all renting. But what what
I like is the idea of shared ownership because it's
I heard it when I was working in the banks.
And also it was a master's study by someone that
one of our kids graduated last year. And the idea

(01:06:23):
is that rather than actually giving money, you give them
a percentage of your of your home as owner, as
co owners. So the idea is that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:35):
One of my.

Speaker 22 (01:06:37):
Couple that I know, they had all three young adults,
all in their twenties, and what they did was they said,
you put your here we savers into our home, you know,
into into the mortgage, and you help us with you know,
and then we will give you an increasing share of

(01:06:57):
the percentage of the home. So when it comes to
them wanting to deposit for a mortgage, they own already
on paper twenty or eighty percent of the.

Speaker 4 (01:07:09):
Family home of the family home, so they can use
that as their But I mean that, I mean that's
risky for the family home. If one of the child's
children should happen to, you know, not not pay off
their mortgage, does that mean that the family home was
in peril? Angela?

Speaker 22 (01:07:26):
I think I think they actually had a mortgageory home
that had some investments coming from a legacy from her
that they're probably you know, late fifties, this couple, and
so money came in and they had an investment property,
so they're not actually risking anything because they've always got

(01:07:47):
a controlling interest in it. I think they went down
to about twenty five percent, and the three kids had
a twenty five percent interest, So so that's that's actually
quite good because last I heard where I saw them
moving was a brand new house and it's about one
point four million on the outskirts of Auckland, And so

(01:08:08):
so if they've got twenty five percent of a house
that's worth that much, they've already got a good deposit.
And I don't know the ins and outs of it,
but I thought, when my kids get to a point
where they're ready to start thinking about that, that's what
I would.

Speaker 21 (01:08:25):
Do with them.

Speaker 22 (01:08:26):
But at the moment, they're just living their life and
they're not They're going overseas, and they're two of them
to live for a while because the cost of housing's
got so much, and like a lot of people, it's
easier to go overseas and size things up over there.
But I just thought that the ones that are left behind,
there's two of them, you know, if they settle down

(01:08:48):
and at this stage where they're ready to get engage
married family, all that sort of thing. Then they will
get more interested and then it's an appropriate time to
start talking about their possibilities with them.

Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
Well, it sounds like it worked out pretty well in
that case. Angel an interesting idea. I can see how
it works, But I could see a couple of fishooks
in that as well. You know, you want if they wanted,
and I understand, they could use equity in the house
to get into another house, and that's what a lot
of people do. But if someone wanted to sell because
they wanted the money for something else, you've all got
to agree, right, we're going to put the property on
the market because I want my money out. Then it

(01:09:22):
could start to get tricky, but worked out in your case,
so thank you very much.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
You know all your kids spends how many kids you've got, right,
not all of them. So if you're in a situation
where you have three kids, you give them all a
share of your house. One of them is probably going
to have a period of their life where they're a
bit of a scrow up.

Speaker 3 (01:09:37):
There's always a troublemaker, Yeah, A Vaughn. We'll have a
quick check with a von before we get a play
some messages.

Speaker 14 (01:09:43):
How are you.

Speaker 13 (01:09:44):
I'm great, Thank you, Thank you guys. Before I say
what I wanted to say, I just totally agree with
Matt our Son says, enjoy your life, have it all, mum,
don't worry about leaving it to us.

Speaker 4 (01:09:56):
Thank you, Matt, good on your son on your mat.

Speaker 13 (01:09:58):
Yeah yeah, but no, it's a young fella who will
actually helped him just by being guarantears before is twenty one,
he's now forty eight. He bought a new home out
in Hawick and he had a couple of flatmates in

(01:10:19):
and he just worked his butt off and we always
knew we'd never have to worry about him at all,
right because he always paid money back and so guaranteeing
for Sean was not a problem. And you know, he's
now down five America's cups. He's got his own carbon

(01:10:40):
fiber boat building business back here in New Zealand, and
we've traveled all over the world because of him. But
we're just ordinary working people. But honestly, if you can
trust a kid, go.

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
Guarantee for so you knew that at that age Avon
from so you say twenty one, From that age you
knew that he was a responsible operator.

Speaker 13 (01:11:01):
Oh yeah, he did his apprenticeship with Southern Spars. Every
week he would just keep a hum of dollars from
his South and saved and that was his That's how
he did it, you know. And then when he got
the house and got his couple of mates, and he
still kept just that for entertainment because he was focused

(01:11:24):
on paying the house off and getting ahead. And till
I had a wonderful had amazing life. I mean we've
been all over the world, Bermuda and all over the
place with them. But he worked hard and we never
had to think about worrying Ben Garran tords for him
at all.

Speaker 3 (01:11:42):
Well, yeah, it sounds like you've got a good son
and you're a good mum yourself. Of onon, thank you
very much. We'll take a quick break, but taking your
calls on O eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. It
is fourteen to three.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Have a chat with the lads on eight hundred eighty
ten eighty Mad Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons news.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
Talk z'd be it is eleven two three Mary, how
are you good?

Speaker 21 (01:12:05):
Thank you?

Speaker 18 (01:12:06):
I reckon that bank manager should give people that are
single alione because my daughter had her own business and
she had enough money in the bank account, but not
quite enough to buy a house, and my husband went
along with her to the bank, but they wouldn't because
she was single. And she hasn't got a partner because
she she's got a son, but she's brought the son

(01:12:29):
up by herself because her partner was no use, so
she kicked him to the curve because he was never
supporting her.

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
And she's done very well, right, But it's not because
she's single that they won't give the money. It's if
she was single and had enough money. It's just that
generally speaking, if you were there's two of you, there's
two incomes and more money, right, so if she had.

Speaker 18 (01:12:50):
I think it's wrong how they treat people like that, though,
because at the moment, her rent keeps going up and
she's still she's renting. So my husband and I think
my youngest daughter bought a house when she was twenty seven, ah,
and that and that, and now she's in her thirties.

(01:13:11):
She's saved up enough money by herself, and she had
key we save her as well in that. But my
other daughters, you know, it's quite hard that she's renting
and the rent keeps going up all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
All the best to her, Maria. It is tough out there,
but as you say, Matt, the reality is that it
is a risk on the bank. They weigh up the
risk can you pay back the mortgage. If they do
the calculations and you can't pay back the mortgage, then
they've got to take the house away from you. I mean,
nobody wins in that situation. Maybe maybe the bank wins
a little bit, but clearly that's the system and it's
important that you've got to make sure you're able to
repay the mortgage.

Speaker 4 (01:13:45):
Yeah, so I don't think they're being cruel. It's not, well,
you know, sometimes they've been cruel, but you know that
they've got their systems. But it's not that you're single
that they're not giving you the money. It's because they
just do the calculation on how much money is coming
into the household.

Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
Yeah, exactly, a couple of texts coming through on nine
two ninety two, I put.

Speaker 4 (01:14:03):
Fifty dollars a week into years. These accounts for each
of my kids have done since the week they were born.
My four year old already close to twenty k oh.
Hopefully a little a week now will save me a
big chunk. When I'm older, I was incentivized. Then when
they start working, eg, I will continue to do eg.
I will continue to do that if they match the
fifty dollars each a week, but hopefully it will be

(01:14:23):
enough for a house one day.

Speaker 3 (01:14:24):
It's a lot of money for a four year old.
Twenty k well done, that's a rich four year old.
Heck yeah, yeah, that's set up.

Speaker 4 (01:14:31):
I'm in seven, I'm I'm seventy. No home, bought three houses.
Wives of the liability, not the kids soul. Someone else
says that as well. It says if you you know,
you've got to remember to protect it from the partners.
You don't want to give money for a house deposit
and find a year later that they split and the
partner gets half.

Speaker 3 (01:14:49):
Anna, it's a big thing. Yeah, yeah, because what.

Speaker 4 (01:14:51):
If you and May split up? So you so you
want to marry May for her money? Is that what
you said before?

Speaker 3 (01:14:58):
Well someone said it, not me. I love her dearly
and she's my soulmate, but someone said it.

Speaker 4 (01:15:02):
And then if you split up, do you get Wow?

Speaker 3 (01:15:04):
See here's the thing that what she was given by
the parents to get us across the line matched what
I brought to the table, so we were fifty fifty anyway.
But it gets complicated that if we didn't split up
and her parents came from me and said, hey about that,
you know fifty k that we offered you. Right, we're
going to take a quick break, but when we come back,
we have a chat to car Linda. It is eight

(01:15:26):
minutes to three, bag for you surely the.

Speaker 1 (01:15:28):
Issues that affect you, and a bit of fun along
the way. Matt Heath and Taylor Adams afternoons news talks.

Speaker 3 (01:15:34):
That'd be five to three to Linda, we've got about
sixty seconds.

Speaker 10 (01:15:40):
Yeah, I just want to say my parents helped me
when I got first married in a deposit on the
house and we were able to pay that off really
quickly four years, second one seven years, didn't have a
student loan, had a high you know, reasonable salaries, but
not a big amount of text. So that now you've
got kids that have got big student loans before they

(01:16:02):
can even get around to starting paying off or attempting
to get a deposit on a really expense of house
which we didn't have, you know, like we could buy
like the house price was about double the combined salary
something like that, you know, and that was yeah, and
any normal person could buy a house.

Speaker 5 (01:16:23):
But now that's too hard.

Speaker 3 (01:16:25):
Yes, yep, all right, yes, rough, it is absolutely Thank
you very much for your call.

Speaker 4 (01:16:30):
But it is an interesting situation if so many people
are getting money from their parents to buy their house.
It's like that money's just flowing back downwards.

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
That's right, you know, it stays within the family, which.

Speaker 4 (01:16:41):
Is you know, kind of propping up the price of
the houses. I guess, yeah, haha. Housing is seventy percent
of what we do. Imagine a world where it was
only twenty percent.

Speaker 5 (01:16:49):
We do.

Speaker 4 (01:16:49):
We do spend a lot of time having to worry
and pay off housing. We spend a lot of time
talking about it. Parents have to think about whether their
kids can get in their house. It does seem to
be would be better if it was twenty percent of
what we do and not seventy percent. I agree with
that texta yep, we love our houses. I also agree
with this TEXTA met that person who called you a
blow hard as a blow hard, You're not a blow hard.
You are a blow hard and soft. You sometimes oscillate too,

(01:17:11):
like a fan love the show?

Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
Oh is that nice? I think that's nice.

Speaker 4 (01:17:14):
I'm just trying to I'll get a pan of paper
to work out with it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
That's a compliment.

Speaker 4 (01:17:17):
Whether that's a compliment or insight, I'm gonna take it
as a compliment.

Speaker 3 (01:17:19):
It felt positive us.

Speaker 4 (01:17:21):
Yeah, yeah, don't feel positive.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
Let's say it's positive. All right, great discussion, think you
to all the callers. Antixas coming up after three o'clock.
It is an article by Jessey Mulligan's speaking to hospitality
workers about what customer behaviors quietly drive them mad. So
if you work in hospitality, what is it for you? Oh,
eight hundred and eighty teen eighty is that number to call?
It is three to three.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
Your new home are instateful and entertaining talk. It's Mattie
and Taylor Adams afternoons on news Talk seven.

Speaker 3 (01:17:51):
Good day to you, seven past three. Welcome back into
the show. So let's have a chat about behavior that
annoys hospitality workers. In an article in the New Zealand
Hero Right Now, written by Jesse Mulligan, he spoke to
hospitality workers about the customer behaviors that quietly drive them mad,
everything from common dining habbits to indicate mistakes. Many people
don't even realize the making. So I highlights the unspoken

(01:18:14):
role rules of eating out and what really grinds the
gears of hospo workers.

Speaker 4 (01:18:20):
Yeah, so if you work in hospo I one hundred
and eighty ten eighty what is it that annoys you?
What do customers do that makes your job difficult? Because
in New Zealand your hospitality service doesn't necessarily get paid
that well. Both my sons have worked in cafes yep.
One of them is a you know, he's fifteen, he's
working in the cafe, and I reckon. This is what

(01:18:41):
I said, Johim, is there's probably not a job in
the world as stressful as working in the kitchen of
a busy cafe, yes, or a restaurant. That is the
most intense job right here, and plus taking orders dealing
with people. So we don't want to you know, we've
got to have a bit of compassion for our hospitality workers.

(01:19:01):
I've got a sister who's i'd call her. She suffers
from chronic dissatisfaction.

Speaker 2 (01:19:06):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:19:07):
I know she won't be listening because she lives in London,
but anyway she will always be hassling hospital She's just
an absolute nightmare for hospital It's embarrassing to go any
with it anywhere with her because she treats hospitality like
their servants. Yeah, and that just makes me so angry.
I think in hospitality when you go out for dinner,

(01:19:28):
I know it's expensive to go out to dinner, but
you're all in it together.

Speaker 9 (01:19:30):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:19:30):
You know they're working hard, they're serving your food. Mean, yeah,
you just want to have a nice relationship with them. Yeah,
and the time that you're there.

Speaker 3 (01:19:37):
You look after them, they look after you hopefully. So
if you do work in hospitality, what are the behaviors
that customers do that drive you mad, particularly if they
don't know they're doing it. Because there's a couple of
things in this article that Jess's written that I actually
do and I had no idea. It actually winds up
hospitality workers to the nth degree. And now I feel
like a terrible human being. Yeah, i'll mention it right now. Actually,

(01:19:59):
it's just one of the things, because he's got a
he's got five in there. But the one that he
did mention, and this is according to hospitality workers, is
stacking the plates after you've finished your food. I'm notorious
at doing that because I generally used to believe that
that actually helps the cafe workers out that we're all
finished our meal. And if I'm in a group, then
I start to stack up the plates and try and
have it in a tidy little tower so then when

(01:20:22):
they can come, they don't have to do that awkward
thing of reaching over people. Did you enjoy your meal?
It's ready to go?

Speaker 4 (01:20:27):
Is that really so bad? I'd love to hear from
a hospitality person, so I'm a service person. Is it
really that bad if someone's stacks plates. I understand when
they're collecting the plates, if you start handing them plates
and screwing up tissues and you know, napkins and putting
them on the air and throwing forks at them, that
might be confusing and difficult for them. But if you
stack up the plates so they just have to carry

(01:20:48):
them away, yeah, surely that's not bad.

Speaker 2 (01:20:51):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:20:51):
I wouldn't have thought so, but that was one of
the things they highlighted.

Speaker 4 (01:20:54):
But that's what I thought. I thought. I took it
that it was when you start handing plates to them
when they're trying to take them away. Yeah, because they've
got a system where they sort of put one here,
one here, one here, right?

Speaker 3 (01:21:05):
Yes, yeah, yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:21:06):
Are you scraping the stuff off the plates like it's
ready for the dishwasher?

Speaker 3 (01:21:09):
Sometimes I do. Yeah. If someone's got some leftovers, then
I do it like I do at home that I
scrape it onto one plate, then stack all the clean
ones and then the one with a bit of food
on top. But I'll tell you what I used to do,
and I'm ashamed to admit this, and I don't do
it anymore, but I did used to put the napkins
in the in the cups that hadn't been fully drunken,
so then they had the soggy napkins because I didn't
realize they actually fished them out themselves. I thought they'd

(01:21:32):
just take that glass, turn it up, dump it into
some sort of sink and then it sorts it out.
And now I understand why I got some dirty looks
from time to time.

Speaker 4 (01:21:39):
All right, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. What do
customers do that makes your job harder than it needs
to be in the hospitality industry? I'd love to hear
from you.

Speaker 3 (01:21:48):
It is eleven past three, bag for surely used talks'd
be so if you work in hospitality, own a cafe restaurant,
what makes your job harder when it comes to customer behavior? Oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighties number to call.

Speaker 21 (01:22:00):
Philippa good afternoon, lads. You own a cafe, Yes, I
do have a cafe, and there are a few things
that grind agears, and it all depends on whether the
customer is nice or not as to how you feel
about what they're doing. But as to stacking plates, I

(01:22:21):
think in a cafe, I'm not so much worried about it.
If I had a restaurant, I would say, no, don't
do that. But in a cafe, I think that's spectically fine.

Speaker 5 (01:22:31):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:22:31):
So is this the stacking the plates before you get
there as opposed to handing plates, Because it seems to
me that in this article and a few other things
we've got through, is when you're picking up the plates,
if people start handing them to you from around the table,
that can get complicated.

Speaker 21 (01:22:48):
Yep, that can be very very dangerous. You're quite likely
to drop them on their heads or something.

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
So it's what I'm going to do, Philipper, because when
I'm at the cafe or restaurant and look, in your instance,
the cafe and I've just finished my meal when then
one of your lovely workers come over and when they
reach around and I kind of like step back and
let them take the plate, of feel like it's almost like,
you know, they're being I'm treating them like a servant,
and I don't want to do that. But is that
the proper protocol?

Speaker 5 (01:23:15):
Is it?

Speaker 21 (01:23:19):
Yeah? It's a hard one, isn't it. I mean, if
the poor old waitress has to lean over and around
to sort of get to the plates, and then I
would say, definitely help them out, but otherwise, just let
them do their job.

Speaker 4 (01:23:33):
If someone is you said that you want, you know,
if they're nice. So what difference does that make? If
they're nice in terms of service the world of everything?

Speaker 21 (01:23:42):
You know, if you get some super sillious not bad
coming and treat you like you're nothing, and.

Speaker 10 (01:23:50):
You know, it's just.

Speaker 4 (01:23:52):
Horrible and they go back to their meal, will come
out slower than someone that's friendly.

Speaker 21 (01:24:00):
Not really, but boy, it's tempting.

Speaker 4 (01:24:05):
That's just an opportunity for be to be more of
a pain in the ass, right, So it might be
if they're nasty, just get them in and get them
out as quickly as you can.

Speaker 21 (01:24:13):
That's it. Let them sort of be be, you know, happy,
and in some way in the end of those they're
going to be.

Speaker 3 (01:24:20):
Horrible, be bigger than them. Are are your customers buying
large pretty nice?

Speaker 10 (01:24:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:24:26):
They are.

Speaker 21 (01:24:27):
Our customers are nice. Our customers on the way to
the beach, so they're you know, happy times coming up,
so you know they're they're mainly nice. We do get
some people who think that we're we did have the
commute ones very expensive for a country cafe. I don't
know where they thought we were going to get all
the cheap country workers and the cheap country through.

Speaker 4 (01:24:50):
Now do you ever have you ever had anyone snap
their fingers at you?

Speaker 21 (01:24:57):
No, advise everybody to not do that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:01):
They're just horrendous, even you saying that mate, put hims
down my spine.

Speaker 4 (01:25:06):
But there's enough popal texting through about it that it
must happen. But who thinks that they can snap over
I mean that's a cliche. So I must have come
from somewhere.

Speaker 21 (01:25:15):
Yeah, probably table service type places where they think that
that's what they do. The one thing that grinds my
gears is when we're really busy and we've got a
queue out the door and some man has come rushing
in it and his family hasn't even made it in
the door. He's looked in the cabinet, he decided what
he's want, what he wants. He's made it the way

(01:25:36):
to the top of the cat to the queue and
he says, oh, he gives his order, and then he says, oh, oh,
my wife's back there somewhere. Oh, I'll just go and
get her. And so, you know, you've got fifteen people
standing staring at you, and sometimes, you know, we just
cancel it and start again later when he finally finds

(01:25:57):
his wife.

Speaker 4 (01:25:58):
What about absolute punishes like me Philippa who is sitting
there gas bagging and look at the menu, and then
you know, the waiter or keeps coming up and going
is are you ready to ordering? Go damn, we haven't
looked at it. Five minutes and they go away and
then they come back, Oh, we haven't even thought about
it yet. That's that's one thing. And the other thing
that I imagine, I'm not sure is your cafe a

(01:26:20):
order and then sit down or is it a table service?

Speaker 1 (01:26:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:26:24):
So what about people that wait in the queue all
the way to the front of the queue and then
start making their decision as opposed to making the decision
in their queue.

Speaker 21 (01:26:32):
Yes, we just we just hate those people because I'm
holding us up. And then we get the people who
like to have an in depth conversation about their allergies
and their need and how they want to flop this
for that, and its us.

Speaker 5 (01:26:47):
Oh my god.

Speaker 21 (01:26:48):
Sometimes it's so hard to be nice, you know, it's
really really difficult. So if everyone makes up their mind
before they get to the top.

Speaker 4 (01:26:55):
Of the queue, I mean, that's what else you're doing?
What are you doing in the queue if you're not
and then you get up right, what do you got?

Speaker 3 (01:27:05):
I just say, well, we look good.

Speaker 21 (01:27:08):
Yeah. No, they can be very annoying.

Speaker 4 (01:27:11):
And what percentage of allergies do you think are real?
And what do you think? What pat you're imagined?

Speaker 21 (01:27:16):
Philipp I think a lot of I had a wedding
ones where all of my concentration went on this person
and one of the guests who had an allergy she
couldn't have it was gluten intolerant, and I was worried
about you worried about it. And then finally we're walking
around with some carrot cake and she says, oh, what's that?
I said, Oh, it's carrot cake, but you can't have

(01:27:36):
any I've got some gluten free items out there out
the back for you. Just oh no, I can a
little bit of carrot cake.

Speaker 4 (01:27:43):
I'll be all right, all of a sudden, all right,
then the sudden disappears. Person, I'm guten and gluten intolerant, intolerant.
I'm intolerant of people that say they're gluten intolerant.

Speaker 21 (01:27:57):
Oh look, and people who think the allergy is so
much more important than other allergies. We have people who
think that gluten free should be all up the top shelf.
But then what about the nuts read, the avocado free,
the mushroom free, you know, all of those other allergies
lack toes intolerant and all the rest. We'd have to
have twenty five cabinets.

Speaker 4 (01:28:20):
How long have you been in the game for Philippa
party long?

Speaker 21 (01:28:25):
Probably it's ninety three.

Speaker 4 (01:28:27):
And do you think over time that more people are
claiming to have allergies?

Speaker 3 (01:28:31):
Then yeah, yep, yep yea yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:28:34):
So the same amount of people, the same amount of
people have allergies, actual allergies. And look, if you've got
an actual allergy, I feel for you absolutely, but it
just seems strange how many more people have allergies now
than ever before.

Speaker 14 (01:28:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 21 (01:28:49):
Yeah, well there used to be the old McDonald's thing
where if you wanted a nice freshboobie and to tell
them that you're a vegetarian or something and they have
to make one specially for you. You know that that's
gone by the buy now. I think you know everyone
can be special.

Speaker 4 (01:29:01):
And final questions, so do you allow modifications?

Speaker 21 (01:29:04):
Oh yeah, we do, but boy, you know, sometimes we
get a dock and it looks as like, oh my god,
there's twenty people on the table. Where do they come
in and actually know it's just two people who like
the eggs hard and like this and don't like that,
and can we substitute this for that?

Speaker 23 (01:29:19):
And that?

Speaker 21 (01:29:20):
That's just enough to tip the kitchen over the edge sometimes,
so I quite often say no, no, we can't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:29:25):
We do, we do some things, but you know, maximum
of one modification, I reckon, you get what you get.

Speaker 21 (01:29:30):
And you don't, Yeah, come on, have something else?

Speaker 4 (01:29:34):
Yeah, I think so much to be call for the
But do you want to say where your cafe is?

Speaker 21 (01:29:38):
What do you think of cornerstone on the way to
the beach on the way to pass Tens before.

Speaker 4 (01:29:45):
Tens corner Stone Cafe on your Filipper, great cafe there.

Speaker 21 (01:29:49):
For a very short time. I'm letting all my customers
know actually that I'm closing.

Speaker 3 (01:29:55):
Well gone, oh so you sell en or.

Speaker 21 (01:29:59):
Yeah, we've sold the property, Carla and the style Sculp,
the dress shop that's there with it. She'll be going
a bit longer. Can still go to see see her,
but we are closing, and it's all going to be
bold to put something else, So hopefully they'll get resource
consents and everything they're looking for.

Speaker 4 (01:30:20):
Then, well, thank you for your service, Philippa.

Speaker 3 (01:30:22):
Hope hopefully show your retirement if that's what you're doing.
But what a great Foremost cafe.

Speaker 4 (01:30:27):
So she was saying that she's never had anyone click
at her. But Lock, he's a producer, yep out there.
It happens. When he worked in a fancy parn our restaurant,
he reckoned he was getting clicked at bi weekly.

Speaker 3 (01:30:41):
That tracks, so two.

Speaker 4 (01:30:43):
Times a week someone would think it's okay to click
their fingers at you as a waiter.

Speaker 3 (01:30:49):
Would you just ignore them? Surely, Lock at their point, yeah,
you just ignore them and Cherry on walking.

Speaker 4 (01:30:53):
Oh yeah, if someone clicks at you, then they're right
to the bag of the list.

Speaker 3 (01:30:56):
Far right twenty two pass three. If you work in hospitality,
what makes your job harder when it comes to customer behavior?
Twenty two pass three.

Speaker 4 (01:31:04):
Cornerstone's good, especially the curly fries and the Southern Texas
is philipp As a legend best food? We miss her
cafe in fang a Mata.

Speaker 3 (01:31:13):
What a great lady back in a mow.

Speaker 1 (01:31:18):
Matt Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons call Oh eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty on youth Talk ZB very.

Speaker 3 (01:31:24):
Good afternoon tu twenty five past three. So what to
makes your job hard if you're on hospow when it
comes to your customers? Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighties
and number to cook.

Speaker 4 (01:31:32):
Wow, there's a lot of people texting in in support
of clicking their fingers in restaurants.

Speaker 20 (01:31:38):
Guys.

Speaker 4 (01:31:38):
The point is, if you're good at running your at
your job running a cafe or restaurant, you would never
be clicked at because the client would already be attended to.
Regards Daniel Board. If it's very busy, you know you're
not the only person in the world. If you go
to a good a good restaurant or cafe, it's liable
to be busy, so maybe they're serving someone else. Maybe
there's something else going on. Guys, says Ben, explain why

(01:32:01):
clicking is rude. Isn't the bird worst? I'm going to
start clicking. I would say the bird is worse, definitely.
But you don't just flash the middle finger around to
try and get service to you.

Speaker 3 (01:32:10):
I don't know if that would work very well, gus all,
I think the food coming out.

Speaker 4 (01:32:17):
Can we get some water over at this table? And
waving your middle finger around is not going to work.

Speaker 3 (01:32:21):
I'd love to see it. Nev. How are you?

Speaker 14 (01:32:25):
Have I seen that?

Speaker 9 (01:32:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (01:32:25):
Hi?

Speaker 3 (01:32:26):
Have I said that?

Speaker 9 (01:32:26):
Right? Is it?

Speaker 3 (01:32:27):
Nev or Neve?

Speaker 9 (01:32:29):
But it's about the Irish way thanks to my father.

Speaker 4 (01:32:33):
So happened to you? Called Nevi quite a lot?

Speaker 9 (01:32:36):
Probably more naam a?

Speaker 8 (01:32:41):
I m h close enough?

Speaker 9 (01:32:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:32:47):
So you work as a bartender? Is that correct?

Speaker 9 (01:32:50):
I work in a bar and restaurant in the heart
of Hamilton's so with the Lawrence and groups, and I
worked as the bartender. But I've just come on maternity
leaves but worked to the restaurant for the last six months,
and I was just talking you guys talking about the
shacking plates suation. I feel like everyone balances the plates

(01:33:12):
on their hand differently, Like every waitress has their own
routine to balance the plate with the bowl or even
the tray, Like when the tray of drinks and someone
reaches for the tray of drinks to pull it off
the tray. It's like the second that drinks off.

Speaker 21 (01:33:24):
The tray, the balance and is gone.

Speaker 9 (01:33:28):
But I think you mentioned about the clicking, Oh my.

Speaker 21 (01:33:30):
Gosh, that is the worst, and.

Speaker 9 (01:33:34):
Oh yeah, specifically, you know when there's a peace came
on and the bar is packed full of boys drinking,
and then there's the ladies at the back eating their
food at the restaurant and they're clicking their fingers trying
to get servious. It's just like it's not going to
make it faster.

Speaker 8 (01:33:52):
Look away.

Speaker 3 (01:33:52):
If they've had a few drinks, does the clicking become worse?

Speaker 9 (01:33:56):
I think I'm not biased, but I think in an
older generation. Yeah, Like I think when when the older
lads are you know, a couple of drinks and they
think that they're being funny and clicking or you know,
where's my drinking it's like, well, hello, you're not the
only one in the restaurant.

Speaker 4 (01:34:11):
But I just can't imagine doing it without being as
such a parody of being a dickhead like you. Yeah,
it's like an absolute cliche of being the worst behave
person you could possibly be the most entitled.

Speaker 9 (01:34:23):
Ah, I think I think it is once a week
easy you get someone coming in, specifically on a busy night. Yeah,
like the guy sexs it and says. But also a
lot in the Asian culture, I think over there, they
put their hands up in a restaurant when they're ready
to order, right. And I don't know if you've heard
about that, but I've had quite a few people kind
of like, you're in class in school yet, Yeah, that

(01:34:45):
is very polite class putting your hand up, Which, yeah,
that's that polite. But it's also like, we'll.

Speaker 21 (01:34:51):
Get to you, we'll get to you.

Speaker 4 (01:34:53):
What about the thing? So what I do because I'd
never clack and I wouldn't put my hand up, but
I just sort of try and make eye contact and
a smile. You know, we're ready because we've seen your
way three times because we weren't ready to order, but
now we are, so and then then you're like flashing
and then busy, and then you're just waiting for them
to turn around, and then you're.

Speaker 3 (01:35:10):
Big pearly grin, please turn around, and sitting on a
glass with.

Speaker 9 (01:35:14):
No drinking and the straws going gurgle gurgles.

Speaker 4 (01:35:19):
With the stacking of the plates. Is it because it
must be hard because you can't really, it's an awkward
situation because they're trying to do the right thing, so
they're not being a bad person. They're actually trying to
help you, but they're not, so it must be awkward
to say, oh, please, can can just let me do this?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 8 (01:35:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (01:35:38):
Yeah, I mean I don't think i've ever said to someone,
oh no, don't stack it, you know, yeah, because I don't.
I don't want to see rooms in But it's definitely
a whole balancing thing, you know, I be from stacking plates,
unbalancing you know, sex plates at a time to plate.
I don't know if you're know what I mean by that,
but yeah, and they're sitting there, you know, putting bowls

(01:36:01):
on top of plates that you personally wouldn't plate up
in a routine of when you're clearing a table. But
it's definitely is the people that do it trying to
do it to help I do a hundred percent degree,
because even when I'm in a restaurant as a waitress,
I'll want to sit there and stack the plates for
the waitress that's serving me. Yeah, just because i know
when I'm at work that's what I would do.

Speaker 3 (01:36:22):
But their intentions has their own routine, their.

Speaker 4 (01:36:26):
You know, their intentions are good, but the actuality is
are punished. What about stuffing dirty napkins into into the glasses?
Does that help?

Speaker 16 (01:36:35):
Oh?

Speaker 9 (01:36:36):
You know what, I'm notorious as the waitress to do
that when I'm clearing a table, and then the bartenders
would complain.

Speaker 21 (01:36:40):
To me for doing it right, I'll be honest with Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:36:43):
And my dad used to work in the UK when
he was younger, and he used to tell me all
the time, you know, he was in the hospitality back
in you know, the eighties nineties, and that he would
he would get so annoyed for people stuffing the paper
towels into the glasses and then taking it to the
bar because in the bar's got to deal with this
week paper town.

Speaker 3 (01:37:00):
You got to fish it out.

Speaker 4 (01:37:03):
Oh well, all the best of you. Thank you so
much for sharing and all the best with your bartending
in Hamilton.

Speaker 8 (01:37:11):
Yeah, thank you, thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:37:12):
Love it here so nice.

Speaker 4 (01:37:14):
Great. If anyone clicks at you, you know, give us
a ring and I'll send Tyler downsort the.

Speaker 10 (01:37:20):
Mat I remember that.

Speaker 3 (01:37:23):
Yeah, good idea.

Speaker 17 (01:37:24):
You're on you.

Speaker 3 (01:37:24):
Nev, thank you very much for giving us a call
one hundred eighty. If you're in hospow do you agree
with a lot of those things that Nieva had to say?
It has banged on half past three, begvery.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
Surely you've talk said the headlines with your ride.

Speaker 16 (01:37:39):
New Zigand's number one taxi app. Download your ride today.
The Justice Minister says planned climate change legislation could potentially
bypass Select Committee scrutiny with no decision made around putting
the bill through urgency. The amendment aims to stop legal
challenges of companies climate emissions, including one already before the

(01:38:00):
High Court. The Foreign Affairs Minister says officials are doing
all they can to help a New Zealander detained in
a US ice facility with no information off it. Everly,
Weehorny was detained re entering the US on a green
cart a month ago and has been moved from California
to Arizona Docks looking for people captured on CCTV roaming

(01:38:24):
a dangerous off limits area at the Heritage West Coast
Banbury mine site near Deniston. A Takespayers Union Courier poll
as the coalition returning to power with Nationals thirty percent support,
bolstered by eighteen point two from enz First into act.
It puts Labour on thirty one point nine and the
Greens and Party Mardi thirteen point eight percent, combined the

(01:38:48):
radical solution to the all whites most polarizing World Cup selection.
Read the full column at enzid Herald dot co dot nzet.
Now back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:38:58):
Thank you very much, Raylians. If you work in hospit,
what makes your job how harder when it comes to
customer behavior. This is on the back of an article
by Jesse Mulligan where he spoke to hospitality workers around
the behaviors that drive them mad.

Speaker 4 (01:39:11):
The sex says, when you've waited for thirty minutes and over,
what do you suggest to draw their attention instead of
clicking fingers? And this texture from Ben you still can't
give me a reason to why clicking is so bad.
I'm giving the bird to you. But great show, Ben,
Good on you, Ben. Yeah, give us the bird. It's
hard to tell thank you to you texted in to
say that you're giving us the bird because we can't

(01:39:31):
see you.

Speaker 10 (01:39:32):
Well.

Speaker 4 (01:39:32):
I think the reason why clicking is it's saying that
someone's beneath you, that they're I think in New Zealand
we like to look at everyone as being equal. Right,
So someone happens to be working their jobs serving you,
and you happen to be sitting there, that doesn't make
you them at your beck and call. You know, it's
lowering them, and also it's making it it's like a

(01:39:54):
command and response reaction rather than normal communication.

Speaker 3 (01:39:58):
Right, that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:39:59):
So if you make eye contact and smile and say,
you know, gesture, you're saying when you are ready, because
I'm sure that you're a professional when you're trying to
get round the tables as quickly as you can, when
you're ready, I'm ready. Yeah, but I don't expect you
to stop what you're doing to come over to me
right now. It's it's treating someone. It's like how you

(01:40:21):
deal with a dog or something.

Speaker 3 (01:40:22):
To me, it's a corrective BA come here to a
child or a dog, I would you know, snap to
get a bit of a corrective behavior. So it's the
meaning when you treat your waiter like, give me boy,
come up.

Speaker 4 (01:40:34):
A little bit of a little bit of eye contact
and a quick smile, you know, not a glad eye
or a stinky If you're glad eyeing them, then that's
not great. If you think that's good. So but we
all know that the tone you're like, we're ready.

Speaker 3 (01:40:46):
A friendly waivers okay, isn't it's the walking past. Excuse me,
keep those ticks giving through a nine two nine two.
Get a craig, How are good mates? What's your thoughts?

Speaker 6 (01:40:57):
Good?

Speaker 5 (01:40:57):
Okay?

Speaker 23 (01:40:58):
So I know full officials a very very good ship
and very sad to see, uh see who's shutting up shop?
We call them there on the way through to marta
ringie and yeah I had supplied wine to her.

Speaker 21 (01:41:10):
In the path.

Speaker 4 (01:41:12):
So in a professional manner, or yeah I told her
yes right.

Speaker 23 (01:41:21):
So with my work, I eat out at ten cafes
and ten restaurants per month, and if I need to
get the one of the weight start's attention, I just
give them a nice little thumbs up and a little smile.
That was the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:41:36):
Yep, thumbs up.

Speaker 14 (01:41:37):
Nice.

Speaker 23 (01:41:38):
Yeah, so you don't have to They totally understand what
it means. Okay, he's ready to order and he wants
another wine or or you know whatever. But I always
make a point of giving feedback. I got it from
a mother. She was the first to get playing as

(01:41:59):
I am. But I'm also the first to compliment. So
I was at another caf today for lunch. I had
an absolutely outstanding chicken and avocado salad, and I'm at
a point of just saying to the manager, Hey, can
you pass on to the kitchen that chicken and avocado sell?
It was just outstanding. So you know, they relish that

(01:42:21):
sort of feedback. And the funny thing is when I
go and ask for the manager, nine point nine times
out of ten, they come prepared, ready for a complaint, right,
and they just get blown away when it's a compliment.

Speaker 4 (01:42:38):
And if you do have to complain, how do you
go about? You know, if you feel that a complain
is necessary, because I think that you are out actually
helping a cafe or a restaurant if they don't get
something right, if you tell them in a respectful manner.
That's information that they need because they want to stay
in business. And often places can make the same mistake
over and over again, they lose business. Right, So it's

(01:42:59):
actually you're actually helping a cafe, but how do you
go about it in a respectful manner?

Speaker 23 (01:43:04):
Okay, So I'll give you an example. I've just started
going back overnight in and wrote a rua after the
homeless debarcle down me that ruin that place for a
long period of time. In the each street, the restaurant
I call it restaurant alley. I've found a really nice
I won't mentioned the name, but a really nice steak

(01:43:25):
restaurant there. But I know because we've just put it
into our gun club and PUKAKOEI to accept credit cards,
so I know what the bank charges you. And when
I went to pay with my meal, it was something
like eight dollars for using the credit card. So I

(01:43:47):
asked for the manager and I said, look, to be honest,
I've just started coming back to rote a ruh after
the debarcle. Loved the meal outstanding, great, perfectly cooked. However,
I know what the bank's charging you for me to
use the credit card. And you're clipping the ticket, so
you need to pass that information onto the I'm quite

(01:44:08):
happy to come back, but I'm not going to be paying.
Even though I'm not paying for it. I treat the
company money.

Speaker 5 (01:44:14):
Like my own.

Speaker 23 (01:44:15):
I'm not going to fork out eight dollars because of
the courtesy of using a credit card. And they took
it on board, and I'm due there on Thursday night,
so I'll see if it's changed and i'll report back.

Speaker 5 (01:44:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:44:30):
And another thing that in this article, Jesse Mulligan mentions
the idea that someone will go online instead of making
their complaint actually in the restaurant in a nice way.
They'll immediately go online and not give the restaurant the
chance to justify their position or change their position.

Speaker 23 (01:44:49):
So they're just chicken shit. They just don't deserve to
do that. So I've done a lot of sales courses,
and for every one person that takes the opportunity to
give negative feedback, there's about fifteen people that won't and
they'll never go back. So I think it's only cour
to see that you give that. Whether it be hospo

(01:45:13):
or bloody rebel sport or whatever, I think it's important
for you to give them the feedback, so it gives
them the opportunity to fix it rather than just be
a gutless keyboard warrior and ruin Yeah, potentially ruin a business.

Speaker 4 (01:45:26):
Yeah, good on you, Craig, and cause a lot of
damage to that absolutely because the feedback. You know, someone
would rather get negative feedback personally than go out of business, right. Yeah.
But also if you're but there might be that's an
aberration and they might be apologetic. But if you've just
gone straight online and besmirch this restaurant to people, because
people will look it up and that comes up, they do, yeah, yeah, yeah,

(01:45:48):
give them a chance to make it right. Yeah, good
on your Craig. Like I think it's I think, thank
you very much. It's put here in the article. It
is a poor reflection of the national character that we
are more comfortable slagging off a restaurant online then plucking
up the courage to tell weight staff something is wrong.
If you are that adverse to confrontation, try phrasing it
as a question, is that meat meant to be served
this well cut? Yeah, that's a nice way to do it.

(01:46:10):
I think this problem is going on the wrong direction.
Serial Google reviewers and social media posters begin writing the
online vents while their dinner is still on the table
in front of them. Nobody wants to pay for a
bad meal, But the first solution to give someone a
chance is to give someone a chance to fix it,
not stay silent and crucify them later.

Speaker 3 (01:46:28):
On trip Advisor, yeah, it's very cowardly if you if
you like that, before the food's even cold, you write
a one star review.

Speaker 4 (01:46:33):
I mean it's cowardly to be reviewing restaurants on trip
Advisor anyway. Yeaheah, you're already scum.

Speaker 3 (01:46:39):
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty is that number to call?
So if you work in hospitality, what is it when
it comes to customer behavior that makes your job harder
or drive you nuts? Nine two ninety two is the
text number as well. It is seventeen to four Back
in a moment.

Speaker 1 (01:46:52):
It's a fresh take on talk back. It's Matt Heath
and Taylor Adams afternoons. Have your say on eight hundred
eighty ten eighty youth talk.

Speaker 3 (01:47:00):
Sa'd be So we're talking about hospitality workers and what
makes your job harder when it comes to customer behavior?
What grind your gears when it comes to what customers do.
Plenty of tixs coming through a nine two ninety two.
This one says, getay, guys, I get everything you're saying.
It's all about respect. I will never forget. My now
husband introduced the Country Guild to find dining at euro
Cafe on Princess Wharf nearly forty years ago, and the

(01:47:22):
couple dining beside us gave their order looking down all
the time, without any friendly acknowledgment or eye contact. It
felt filthy, rude, and I really felt for the waiter.
I've never lost that arrogant image that's from Annabelle and
this one here. As a regular diner, I always comment
on food et cetera. Staff love it most of the time.

(01:47:43):
It's positive one hundred percent. But it pays to give
the feedback no matter what, because they deserve to know.
Keep those techs coming through A nine to two ninety two.

Speaker 4 (01:47:52):
The stick says, I'm a regular diner and I always
comment on the food, etcetera. Staff love it most of
the time.

Speaker 3 (01:47:57):
Yeah nice. Right now, before we wrap up, we mentioned
before we've got our young producer Locke who's helping us
out this week. Get a lock, good day, boys. Now,
how long you been with the company for now?

Speaker 14 (01:48:07):
Mate?

Speaker 3 (01:48:07):
With this come yeah, coming up on a year now? Nice?
Well you're you're a great young man and a great worker,
and it's been fair and testic keven years, producer. But
before you were here, you spend a bit of time
in hospital, is it right?

Speaker 24 (01:48:17):
I did so from when I was about sixteen years old,
I worked hospit in various different restaurants all around Auckland,
eventually ending up as a bartender.

Speaker 4 (01:48:25):
Right, okay, And so you have put together, of your
own volition out there in Studio B, your list of
the eight things that pissed you off when you're at hosough. Okay,
you what I'm trying.

Speaker 5 (01:48:39):
You I do.

Speaker 24 (01:48:40):
Indeed, that could go a lot longer. But we times
when it comes to stacking the plates. I mean, some
people stack plates fine, some people really don't. Some people
like to put a little bowl at the bottom with
all the big fat plates on top of it. So
as a general rule, we try and tell everybody please
don't stack the plates. And again, as you've mentioned earlier,
when people are trying to hand you the plates, when
you've got your own system going on, and we've got

(01:49:01):
our balance. And I've even had people try and put
the plate on my arm as I'm carrying it before.
So when you think you're trying to be helpful, it's
best to just let us do our things.

Speaker 4 (01:49:09):
Okay, what else you go?

Speaker 24 (01:49:11):
So coming up the customer is not always right. Now,
this is a very one I need to stress to
some people. If it's an opinion on your food, fair enough.
If you don't like your food, that's fair.

Speaker 4 (01:49:21):
That's up to you.

Speaker 24 (01:49:22):
If you think it's too expensive, you're arguing the price
or whatever else it is. I'm afraid that's not the
problem of your twenty one year old waiter. That's a
bit of them. So don't give them a lip for it. Okay,
there is fear and oh the big one. Don't stuff
your dirty napkins into your glass.

Speaker 4 (01:49:37):
This one drives me up the wall.

Speaker 3 (01:49:40):
People.

Speaker 24 (01:49:40):
You have to fish around in there for someone's napkin
that's got their food and their drink and all that
lovely stuff all over your hand. All of a sudden,
people will Sometimes I've seen glasses break because they're stuffed
in so tightly, you know, shatter in your hand when
you're just trying to give them a little polish and
oh this one really bugged me, especially because I was
a bartender. I'd have people come in all the time

(01:50:01):
talk to me about wine, beginning the conversation knowing they
know more than me about wine, but I have the
conversation to sort of call me out on it, and
it's like, great, you know a lot about wine.

Speaker 3 (01:50:10):
Good for you, sir. The wine snots, the wine snots,
they come out in droves. Yeah right, okay, Well that's
a good list, mate, anything else on the on your
list there.

Speaker 24 (01:50:19):
I'll bring up the search charges one again. They've been
phased out, but search charges aren't the fault of the
host all the world. We promise you we're not trying
to squeeze every little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:50:29):
It really annoys me when people blame the employers employees
for especially in a fast food restaurant, but in restaurants
and stuff, and then blame the people that work there
for the systems that have been put in place that
they have no control over. That really bugs me.

Speaker 3 (01:50:44):
Yeah, it's very unfair. Well that is a good list, mate,
and I'm glad you're with us now and you're out
of hospitality. But thank you very much for that thanks
for having me on Boys feels good event. Oh yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 24 (01:50:55):
This is the most validating hour of talk back in
my life.

Speaker 4 (01:50:57):
You know, the customer is always right. It was never that.
It was always assume the customer's right until the actual
saying is basically some of ti time to remember. It's
always assume the customers right until you have evidence that
they're wrong.

Speaker 12 (01:51:09):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:51:09):
Yeah, So that's actually we only hear the first of it.
The customers is always right. The customer isn't always right.
Sometimes the customer's got a gun and they're robbing the place. Yeah,
the customer, the customers sometimes a complete dicas. Yeah, the
customer isn't always right. Just assume come with an opener
heart to the customer until they provide evidence that they're
wrong about things, and then all bets are off.

Speaker 3 (01:51:29):
Yeah, that's right. I mean, particularly there are locks point
that if something's too expensive and they say I don't
want to pay that, I'll give you half half what
you're charging. Cush, You're not right. That's called theft.

Speaker 4 (01:51:40):
So this is another text saying things that we don't appreciate.
I own a restaurant. Poor toilet hygiene is destroying the toilets,
come on, stealing cuttery, sat down at the table without
being attended to. Oh yeah, glu glue chewing. They must
be gum chewing. Oh yes, guns under the table? Oh
or cheers, sneaking in alcoholic drinks. I'm pretty sure that

(01:52:03):
that's we've got a problem here. I think it's like
putting chewing gum or putting it under the table.

Speaker 3 (01:52:06):
That would make sense.

Speaker 4 (01:52:07):
Yeah, guns under the table was not on as well,
but I don't think that's I think there might be
a serie tics.

Speaker 3 (01:52:11):
Yeah, keep those things coming through on nine to ninety
two and taking your calls on one hundred and eighty eight.
Get a Steve.

Speaker 7 (01:52:18):
How you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:52:19):
Very goods? So watch your bugby excellent?

Speaker 20 (01:52:21):
Oh no, it's this no a bugbey. I mean, I've
been in the hospitality industry for over forty years. But
the thing that irritates people as you were talking about,
clicking fingers and whistling. Oh yeah, And when I used
to working out an upmarket read restaurant in Sydney and

(01:52:42):
the guy whistled and said, in a really loud voice,
excuse me, everybody, this man appears to have lost his dog.
What sort of dog was it and yeah, anyway, I
got fired, but.

Speaker 4 (01:53:04):
Sometimes sometimes it's with it.

Speaker 3 (01:53:05):
Yeah, Steve, great story, Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 (01:53:07):
Right, lot got fired as well.

Speaker 3 (01:53:09):
Yeah he did.

Speaker 4 (01:53:10):
Yeah, someone clicked at him and he got fired. Well
he was had one day to go. Yeah, yeah, clear enough.
Yeah it was headed enough.

Speaker 3 (01:53:16):
There wasn't as much writing on it.

Speaker 18 (01:53:18):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:53:18):
Oh, one hundred and eighty ten Eightyes, a number to
call back very shortly. It is eight to four.

Speaker 1 (01:53:22):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends and

Speaker 2 (01:53:27):
Matt Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons used talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (01:53:32):
It is six minutes to for a couple of teachs
coming through a nine two ninety two.

Speaker 4 (01:53:36):
Hey guys, pet peeve on hospital views is to complain
about the price. What's good value to one is not
to another. Focused on the food and the service. Not
a bitch about the value for money.

Speaker 3 (01:53:46):
Yeah, this one sees gotta guys. Unfortunately everyone seems to
think they had Gordon Ramsey these days and thinking they
are clever and cultured by comparing a fifteen dollar meal
to a semi final mastershif.

Speaker 4 (01:53:56):
This is true, not clicking. But we called the restaurant
well seated to get service. I was sitting with someone
who did that once. I was horrified. We were sitting
outside and we hadn't been served for a while. I
could see it was really busy. And he gets on
the phone, he rings the frame and he goes, hey,
we're at the front. I was like cow. I was like, mate,
I'm not sitting at the table with you. We're going
to get so much fluid's going to end up in
our meal after this.

Speaker 3 (01:54:16):
It's your freaking leagues man, all right.

Speaker 4 (01:54:19):
That brings us the end of the show. Thank you
so much for listening, and thanks for your calls and
texts for the last four hours of scintillating live radio
the Paul Holmes Broadcast over the year. Heather duplessy Ellen
is up next. Why if she's going to Heather someone tonight?
No doubt when he got hithered, so her name has
become a verb. Fantastic And after five she's got Graham Henry,
former All Blacks coach, on his return as a selector

(01:54:42):
for the team. But right now, Tyler, my good friend,
why am I playing this absolute banger? The seventh single
from Michael Jackson's nineteen eighty eight album Bad.

Speaker 3 (01:54:50):
Smooth Criminal what a tune because we had a great
discussion actually about romance scams and some dirty old scammer
who told a poor old lady in Doneda and he
was an American general and unfortunately fleeced over eight hundred
thousand bucks.

Speaker 4 (01:55:05):
If you haven't physically met the person, they are not
your boyfriend, and don't give them any money.

Speaker 3 (01:55:10):
Yep, st okay.

Speaker 4 (01:55:11):
Apparently the Michael movie is fantastic. They feel good, sin safe.
I'm looking forward to seeing that making hundreds of million
dollars around the world. All right, then, until tomorrow, give
a taste to keep from us. All right, man seem busy,
will let.

Speaker 16 (01:55:23):
You go.

Speaker 2 (01:55:53):
For more from news Talk, said b.

Speaker 1 (01:55:54):
Listen live on air or online, and keep our shows
with you wherever you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio.

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