April 14, 2026 • 11 mins
Papa Roach frontman Jacoby Shaddix called in ahead of their Auckland show at Spark Arena for a conversation that went well beyond the usual tour chat. From early internet days and the reality of doom scrolling to the importance of staying connected in the real world, Jacoby reflected on how music still cuts through in a noisy, digital age. He opened up about the true story behind Last Resort, and shared the deeply personal journey behind Scars, touching on sobriety, guilt and confronting the person he used to be. It’s an honest, grounded conversation about using music to process life, grow, and connect with others in a meaningful way as you approach your 50th birthday.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome. So Radio Hoke's Off the Record, Podcast the Record
with Big.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Sandy's all right, So Papa Roach are in Auckland tonight
playing Spark Arena and in the studio with me.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Now I've got to Kobe good to see.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
So what's what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I was apologizing about the weather before. It's really my fault.
But double rainbows?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What is a happy day?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Who doesn't love it? Double rainbow? Remember that? Do you
remember that viral video back in the day? What does
it mean? Yes? Just good, that's what it means.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
There was before that was like one of the first
viral videos I think I never saw on social media.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
And then life just the Internet just grabbed our brains
and just melted them in over the last twenty years.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I'm a doom scroller. Do you doom scroll?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I have to really watch myself on that because I
will catch myself in a doom scroll and then I'm like,
okay enough for today. It's like there's I finally reached
that one meme and I'm like, okay, cool enough for today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, I was starting to think that the whole world
is like we're in in a simulation.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And that's when I start to think like that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
It's like, yeah, no, you're just too much Internet. I
think the thing's built to like really warp our brains,
so I have to be very mindful of it, you know.
And it's a It's very healthy to be out in
the real world, I'll tell you that. And I love
that about what we do in music. It's like it
puts us out there. We get out there, we get
to meet people, we get on stage, we get to
travel the world and really see this this whole beautiful
(01:27):
thing from a lovely perspective, you know. And being a
traveler and a journeyer and a voyager out here, it's
just like such a blessing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
And you're of the generation.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
We grew up without internet and pans and all of that,
so we have an.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Appreciation of living in the moment.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, these generations now that they cannot be detached from
the living life through a screen.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Which is so bizarre.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Definitely, I think a lot of people are and I
definitely think, you know a lot of people aren't as well.
Like I got two kids in college and they're like
they just the Internet never grabbed him in some wild way.
I'm like, I'm so grateful for it. They're just like, yeah,
the internet's ridiculous, Like I don't want to be on there.
I'm like, cool, it's sick. Keep it that way.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I mean, it has its benefits.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I mean music today, like seeing how music has evolved
from you know, when we used to get our vinyls
to CDs MIDI discs like that we used to go snowboarding.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I loved it when midi discs came out.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
They wouldn't skip the CDs wouldn't skip when you went
over the jump.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, that's sick. That's such true. And it's pretty wild
because vinyls now are making a comeback, which is cool.
You know, I really like that my vinyl collection is
expanding again and picking up all this stuff that I
listened to in the nineties that are now on vinyl.
It's just like it's a vibe.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Because a lot of that music wasn't available on vinyl
of the nineties.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
It was a tape or a CD.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Yeah, we're starting to release like a bunch of our
older material on vinyl, and so it's just cool to
like thump through the collection and see like some old
school pop approach in the in the collection. I'm like,
we made it. Yes, we did it.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I mean, that's that's kind of the pinnacle of life,
is you've got your own vinyl.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Oh my gosh, I'm telling you man. We're actually working
on artwork for our new album right now, and the
way that we format the artwork is as if it
were an LP a lot, you know, just an album.
And so I can't wait to like see, we're getting
the photo shoot going here in the next like week
or two for the album cover, and it's just I
can't wait to just see it and hold it and
(03:17):
feel it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And I went and saw some vinyl being press the
other day. It was my friend's album. Actually it was
really cool, like watching them whole like from.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Plastic beats and then to smash it down.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Down and then that they've got to sit and wait
for it to cool, and then they've got the whole
the whole graphics press hittening as well with en the
sleeve or if you're doing a fold out, and then
it's just such a cool way to be hands on
with music.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Absolutely, I think that creation process is still alive and well,
you know, it's like I think a lot of people
were up in arms and oh gosh, hey, I and
I'm like, people are already getting tired of seeing the
ar art come out because you could just pick it
out in a heartbeat. And so there's something that I
think people really gravitate, gravitate to when they know it's
human and they know that that there's there's been hands
(04:02):
and thought put into it and hands on it and
created with like thought and care. And I feel like
that is definitely going to be something that is important
to people in the future.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You know, and people appreciate human mag things.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Yeah, and you know what, I can get on there
and go all right, AI give me a suggestion for
a training routine. Cool. Yeah, valuable works, but it's like
I don't need it to create my art.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I'm like, do me a travel itinerary.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I'll tell you what. That's pretty sick. Literally, I'm moving
across country and I made it make my travel itinerary
for you know, I want to travel. I want to
travel for five days. I got dogs with me, route
me a route where I can go to hotels that
are dog friendly, that are blah blah blah, And it
routed the whole thing for me. Know, I was just like, Okay, cool,
I like that that works.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So we play quite a bit of your music here.
The fan favorite.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Is Scars those other classics can we.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We depend to like when you were writing those and
you know the effect that those songs, I mean, at
the time, they're pretty raw for you writing it, and
then I guess performing those songs to people and the
effect that they've had, Like did you realize at the
time when you were writing Last Resort that it was
going to help people?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I had no idea. It was just one of those
songs that at the time, I was probably eighteen or
nineteen years old and my roommate attempted suicide and that
was just like gnarly just to watch my friend go
through this tragic life spiral and in a suicide attempt
(05:40):
and suicide attempt and ended up in the hospital and
it was just horrific. And that was really traumatic for
not only myself but the whole friend circle. And you know,
as I ventured into the world of music and was
writing about things, I was like, this is something I
just need to process through music. So I wrote that
song at through first person, like to make it feel
(06:02):
like I just didn't know how to write it any
other way, and I didn't realize like the true impact
that that song would have. I was just processing right,
and then the song was released and it just exploded
and just spoke to people's hearts and minds, and you know,
it was very kind of controversial at the time. It
(06:22):
was heavily edited. A lot of the lyrics were edited out,
and because the topic of you know, suicide was definitely
like a taboo, we didn't talk about it. And this
is back in late ninety nine, and so the mental
health conversation has been part of our the fabric of
our music since the beginning. And we traveled the world
(06:43):
back in two thousand and I met thousands upon thousands
of people that were just like, that song spoke to
me in the most one of the most darkest places
in my life, and it started to started this conversation
and it's continued and the impact of that song has
been overwhelmingly, insanely positive. I cannot tell you how many
people I've met that have told me that song saved
their lives. And I'm just like, wow, all right, God,
(07:07):
like you put me in this position to like make music,
like I don't want to screw it up. I'm grateful
I could make music that can like touch people in
a deep, meaningful, real way. And so I never understood
the responsibility of music and till that moment, and I
looked at it differently, and I understood music differently, and
the way that I approached it was this is cathartic
(07:29):
for me. And you know, fast forward to a song
like Scars. I was going through another transition, transition of
my life. This is the first time I tried to
get sober. I had a really hard time with just
numbing myself and not dealing with a lot of the
issues that I had from childhood into my young adult
life and finally like sobered up and was just looking
(07:50):
at my life through a new pair of glasses, and
that song just poured out of me, and it was
there was a lot of guilt and shame kind of
wrapped up into the song because you know, some of
the decisions I made in my life and the people
that I surrounded myself and the influence that I had
on those people, Like what like did I did? I
(08:11):
Was I a bad influence on this person? You know? I? Uh?
I remember I was like I was. I was selling
weed back in the day, you know, and I would
sell weed to teenagers, you know, and I'm like, as
an adult, I look back at that, I'm like, dude,
what was I doing? Like, you know what I mean?
And so that song was about this this story of
like I wish I didn't like influence you in that way, like,
(08:35):
but I want to I want to be because I
met a friend that like, I was selling and weed
when he was like fifteen, and then he came back
and I saw him and he was like twenty years
old and he was on meth. You know, I'm like, dude,
did I did? I? Was I part of opening that door?
You know what I mean? And so there was this
like shame, heavy shame around that, and that's where that
song was born from. And so I, uh, I'm just
(09:00):
grateful I didn't continue down that path of my life,
you know, because it was like I always headed off
into you know, I'm like dabbling and selling weed, like
where was I going to go next? And music was
that thing that drew me out of that. And I've
been able to process a lot of that dark, heavy
stuff through this music and move on and grow and
build and change and evolve into you know, when I
look in the mirror now I'm like, all right, cool,
(09:22):
I'm good with the man I am, you know, and
I've made amends and I've righted wrongs and I've done
that through music and it's been such a powerful tool
for healing for myself. But as I travel the world
again and again, right, I go meet these people and
they're like, dude, this song just spoke to me, you know.
And so it's wild how you know a story from music,
(09:43):
A lived experience can be put into music, which then
can speak to somebody's heart that's living a dark, heavy
experience themselves and inspire them to press through.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah. Yeah, and you know, I think probably in today's
where people are getting more and more isolated as we
were talking about sort of media, but it's great that
music is still sort of that vehicle or their vessel
that can still reach out and engage people.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Which is so cool that you get.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
To travel around that you were just in Australia and
now you're here just for the one night tonight.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Yeah, one night only.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
And what did you think.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Kiwi audiences are different to anyone any of your other
audiences around the world.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
You guys know how to rock straight up. Last time
we were here, we were with our friends in the used.
Show was great, it was memorable, and that's why we're back. Yeah,
you know, it makes it's a it's a market that
we want to continue to try to grow and build
and uh yeah, that's why we're back here. Yea. So people,
what's up? Pull up to the show tonight. You want
to rock out with the Roach? Dude? Yeah, data remember too, man.
(10:40):
Shout out to those boys and our friends in Landmarks.
The opening band, they're from France. They freaking rock. They're great. Yeah,
they're a great band.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
See playing tonight at Spark Arena.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yes, yeah, something like that. Yeah. I think Actually doors
I think are like six okay, yeah, opening band goes
on it's six forty five seven. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Perfect. Well, thank you so much for coming. It's going
to be a hell refer.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I'm telling you it's a it's going to be a
refe make Thanks so much for your time.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
To COVID, Thanks for having.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Me radio hold Aches Off the Record podcast. Why not
subscribe so they download automatically and don't forget to rate
us five stars? Thanks mate. Find out more about this
podcast and the people who make it at hodache dot
co dot MZ
Welcome. So Radio Hoke's Off the Record, Podcast the Record
with Big.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Sandy's all right, So Papa Roach are in Auckland tonight
playing Spark Arena and in the studio with me.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Now I've got to Kobe good to see.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
So what's what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I was apologizing about the weather before. It's really my fault.
But double rainbows?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What is a happy day?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Who doesn't love it? Double rainbow? Remember that? Do you
remember that viral video back in the day? What does
it mean? Yes? Just good, that's what it means.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
There was before that was like one of the first
viral videos I think I never saw on social media.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
And then life just the Internet just grabbed our brains
and just melted them in over the last twenty years.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I'm a doom scroller. Do you doom scroll?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I have to really watch myself on that because I
will catch myself in a doom scroll and then I'm like,
okay enough for today. It's like there's I finally reached
that one meme and I'm like, okay, cool enough for today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, I was starting to think that the whole world
is like we're in in a simulation.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And that's when I start to think like that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
It's like, yeah, no, you're just too much Internet. I
think the thing's built to like really warp our brains,
so I have to be very mindful of it, you know.
And it's a It's very healthy to be out in
the real world, I'll tell you that. And I love
that about what we do in music. It's like it
puts us out there. We get out there, we get
to meet people, we get on stage, we get to
travel the world and really see this this whole beautiful
(01:27):
thing from a lovely perspective, you know. And being a
traveler and a journeyer and a voyager out here, it's
just like such a blessing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
And you're of the generation.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
We grew up without internet and pans and all of that,
so we have an.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Appreciation of living in the moment.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, these generations now that they cannot be detached from
the living life through a screen.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Which is so bizarre.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Definitely, I think a lot of people are and I
definitely think, you know a lot of people aren't as well.
Like I got two kids in college and they're like
they just the Internet never grabbed him in some wild way.
I'm like, I'm so grateful for it. They're just like, yeah,
the internet's ridiculous, Like I don't want to be on there.
I'm like, cool, it's sick. Keep it that way.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I mean, it has its benefits.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I mean music today, like seeing how music has evolved
from you know, when we used to get our vinyls
to CDs MIDI discs like that we used to go snowboarding.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I loved it when midi discs came out.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
They wouldn't skip the CDs wouldn't skip when you went
over the jump.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, that's sick. That's such true. And it's pretty wild
because vinyls now are making a comeback, which is cool.
You know, I really like that my vinyl collection is
expanding again and picking up all this stuff that I
listened to in the nineties that are now on vinyl.
It's just like it's a vibe.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Because a lot of that music wasn't available on vinyl
of the nineties.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
It was a tape or a CD.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Yeah, we're starting to release like a bunch of our
older material on vinyl, and so it's just cool to
like thump through the collection and see like some old
school pop approach in the in the collection. I'm like,
we made it. Yes, we did it.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I mean, that's that's kind of the pinnacle of life,
is you've got your own vinyl.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Oh my gosh, I'm telling you man. We're actually working
on artwork for our new album right now, and the
way that we format the artwork is as if it
were an LP a lot, you know, just an album.
And so I can't wait to like see, we're getting
the photo shoot going here in the next like week
or two for the album cover, and it's just I
can't wait to just see it and hold it and
(03:17):
feel it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And I went and saw some vinyl being press the
other day. It was my friend's album. Actually it was
really cool, like watching them whole like from.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Plastic beats and then to smash it down.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Down and then that they've got to sit and wait
for it to cool, and then they've got the whole
the whole graphics press hittening as well with en the
sleeve or if you're doing a fold out, and then
it's just such a cool way to be hands on
with music.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Absolutely, I think that creation process is still alive and well,
you know, it's like I think a lot of people
were up in arms and oh gosh, hey, I and
I'm like, people are already getting tired of seeing the
ar art come out because you could just pick it
out in a heartbeat. And so there's something that I
think people really gravitate, gravitate to when they know it's
human and they know that that there's there's been hands
(04:02):
and thought put into it and hands on it and
created with like thought and care. And I feel like
that is definitely going to be something that is important
to people in the future.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You know, and people appreciate human mag things.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Yeah, and you know what, I can get on there
and go all right, AI give me a suggestion for
a training routine. Cool. Yeah, valuable works, but it's like
I don't need it to create my art.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I'm like, do me a travel itinerary.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I'll tell you what. That's pretty sick. Literally, I'm moving
across country and I made it make my travel itinerary
for you know, I want to travel. I want to
travel for five days. I got dogs with me, route
me a route where I can go to hotels that
are dog friendly, that are blah blah blah, And it
routed the whole thing for me. Know, I was just like, Okay, cool,
I like that that works.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So we play quite a bit of your music here.
The fan favorite.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Is Scars those other classics can we.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We depend to like when you were writing those and
you know the effect that those songs, I mean, at
the time, they're pretty raw for you writing it, and
then I guess performing those songs to people and the
effect that they've had, Like did you realize at the
time when you were writing Last Resort that it was
going to help people?
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I had no idea. It was just one of those
songs that at the time, I was probably eighteen or
nineteen years old and my roommate attempted suicide and that
was just like gnarly just to watch my friend go
through this tragic life spiral and in a suicide attempt
(05:40):
and suicide attempt and ended up in the hospital and
it was just horrific. And that was really traumatic for
not only myself but the whole friend circle. And you know,
as I ventured into the world of music and was
writing about things, I was like, this is something I
just need to process through music. So I wrote that
song at through first person, like to make it feel
(06:02):
like I just didn't know how to write it any
other way, and I didn't realize like the true impact
that that song would have. I was just processing right,
and then the song was released and it just exploded
and just spoke to people's hearts and minds, and you know,
it was very kind of controversial at the time. It
(06:22):
was heavily edited. A lot of the lyrics were edited out,
and because the topic of you know, suicide was definitely
like a taboo, we didn't talk about it. And this
is back in late ninety nine, and so the mental
health conversation has been part of our the fabric of
our music since the beginning. And we traveled the world
(06:43):
back in two thousand and I met thousands upon thousands
of people that were just like, that song spoke to
me in the most one of the most darkest places
in my life, and it started to started this conversation
and it's continued and the impact of that song has
been overwhelmingly, insanely positive. I cannot tell you how many
people I've met that have told me that song saved
their lives. And I'm just like, wow, all right, God,
(07:07):
like you put me in this position to like make music,
like I don't want to screw it up. I'm grateful
I could make music that can like touch people in
a deep, meaningful, real way. And so I never understood
the responsibility of music and till that moment, and I
looked at it differently, and I understood music differently, and
the way that I approached it was this is cathartic
(07:29):
for me. And you know, fast forward to a song
like Scars. I was going through another transition, transition of
my life. This is the first time I tried to
get sober. I had a really hard time with just
numbing myself and not dealing with a lot of the
issues that I had from childhood into my young adult
life and finally like sobered up and was just looking
(07:50):
at my life through a new pair of glasses, and
that song just poured out of me, and it was
there was a lot of guilt and shame kind of
wrapped up into the song because you know, some of
the decisions I made in my life and the people
that I surrounded myself and the influence that I had
on those people, Like what like did I did? I
(08:11):
Was I a bad influence on this person? You know? I? Uh?
I remember I was like I was. I was selling
weed back in the day, you know, and I would
sell weed to teenagers, you know, and I'm like, as
an adult, I look back at that, I'm like, dude,
what was I doing? Like, you know what I mean?
And so that song was about this this story of
like I wish I didn't like influence you in that way, like,
(08:35):
but I want to I want to be because I
met a friend that like, I was selling and weed
when he was like fifteen, and then he came back
and I saw him and he was like twenty years
old and he was on meth. You know, I'm like, dude,
did I did? I? Was I part of opening that door?
You know what I mean? And so there was this
like shame, heavy shame around that, and that's where that
song was born from. And so I, uh, I'm just
(09:00):
grateful I didn't continue down that path of my life,
you know, because it was like I always headed off
into you know, I'm like dabbling and selling weed, like
where was I going to go next? And music was
that thing that drew me out of that. And I've
been able to process a lot of that dark, heavy
stuff through this music and move on and grow and
build and change and evolve into you know, when I
look in the mirror now I'm like, all right, cool,
(09:22):
I'm good with the man I am, you know, and
I've made amends and I've righted wrongs and I've done
that through music and it's been such a powerful tool
for healing for myself. But as I travel the world
again and again, right, I go meet these people and
they're like, dude, this song just spoke to me, you know.
And so it's wild how you know a story from music,
(09:43):
A lived experience can be put into music, which then
can speak to somebody's heart that's living a dark, heavy
experience themselves and inspire them to press through.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah. Yeah, and you know, I think probably in today's
where people are getting more and more isolated as we
were talking about sort of media, but it's great that
music is still sort of that vehicle or their vessel
that can still reach out and engage people.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Which is so cool that you get.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
To travel around that you were just in Australia and
now you're here just for the one night tonight.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Yeah, one night only.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
And what did you think.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Kiwi audiences are different to anyone any of your other
audiences around the world.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
You guys know how to rock straight up. Last time
we were here, we were with our friends in the used.
Show was great, it was memorable, and that's why we're back. Yeah,
you know, it makes it's a it's a market that
we want to continue to try to grow and build
and uh yeah, that's why we're back here. Yea. So people,
what's up? Pull up to the show tonight. You want
to rock out with the Roach? Dude? Yeah, data remember too, man.
(10:40):
Shout out to those boys and our friends in Landmarks.
The opening band, they're from France. They freaking rock. They're great. Yeah,
they're a great band.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
See playing tonight at Spark Arena.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yes, yeah, something like that. Yeah. I think Actually doors
I think are like six okay, yeah, opening band goes
on it's six forty five seven. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Perfect. Well, thank you so much for coming. It's going
to be a hell refer.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I'm telling you it's a it's going to be a
refe make Thanks so much for your time.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
To COVID, Thanks for having.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Me radio hold Aches Off the Record podcast. Why not
subscribe so they download automatically and don't forget to rate
us five stars? Thanks mate. Find out more about this
podcast and the people who make it at hodache dot
co dot MZ
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