June 14, 2026 • 23 mins
Joy is a highly respected New Zealand broadcast journalist and television presenter, best known for her extensive career with TVNZ’s 1News. A former European Correspondent based in London, she made history as the first mother appointed to the role, covering major global events across nearly 20 countries—including Brexit, royal weddings, and the death of Queen Elizabeth II.
Beyond her journalism career, Joy is a passionate philanthropist and the Chief Executive of One Mother to Another. Inspired by her own experiences in neonatal wards, she co-founded the charity to provide care packages to parents with hospitalized children, earning her a Kiwibank Local Hero Award for her impactful community work.
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk S ed B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio,
Real Conversation, Real Connection. It's Real Life with John Cowen
on News Talk S ed B.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Goday and welcome to Real Life. And tonight, I'm going
to get journalists, Joy read to break one of the
cardinal rules of journalism, never let the story be about yourself. Well,
tonight's story is going to be entirely about yourself. So
welcome Joy Shewtter.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Oh, it's a pleasure. I've spoken with you before and
I'm looking forward to hearing an update. But just to
foreshadow our conversation, you've been through a hell of a
time with PTSD SEC children recovering from long COVID out
of ten. How are you at the moment?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Oh, you know what, life changes very quickly, and it
can change in an instant and I've learned that lesson
multiple times over. But I'm doing really well, Thank you, John.
My house has definitely improved to a point where I
am living a new normal and very satisfied and yeah
happy and in this new new world.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, that's fantastic. That's fantastic. We'll talk about how you
got there, the things that work, the things that helped,
the things that hindered. But a people know you as
a high profile journalist tv Ones European correspondent for a
couple of years covering royals and Brexits and other big,
big events. What is what is in your new normal now?
(01:54):
What are the things that are giving you joy and pleasure?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Well, first of all, it's been the mum taxis. I
feel like that could be a full time job in
itself at the moment. But it's definitely being able to
parent my three beautiful childre d be on the sideline
of their sports events and just walk the journey along
with them. And I know that probably doesn't sound as
glamorous as you know, sort of the previous roles of
(02:21):
how that it is by far my most important and
also I am I run a charity called One Mother
to Another and this I started it ten years ago
as a bit of a hobby with a friend and
it's now become my as my health has improved, it's
definitely become my work life. So I do that when
I'm not parenting, I guess I'm parenting my other baby,
(02:42):
which is the one mother to mother charity.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Right back to the parenting, you actually really do get
joy out of that. I suppose being hindered from doing
that by poor health for so long, do you think
that's given you an insight and appreciation of parenting perhaps
some mums some dads wouldn't have.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, that's right. I mean I think you know, there
are times definitely when I want to pull my hair out,
and half time I have no idea what I'm doing.
But you know what, tell me it gets better? John, No.
I mean. The thing is, my three children have all
had pretty serious health uneds themselves, and so like the
fact that they are here and healthy today is just
(03:24):
an absolute blessing. But as I say, when I lost
my health due to long COVID in twenty twenty three,
very quickly, it's so obvious what your priority is when
you can't do life anymore. And instantly what was just
so obvious was that if I could ever get my
health back enough to be able to parent my children again,
(03:47):
that to me was going to be my new success.
And you know, I'm now being able to cook for them,
go along to their sports games and put them to bed.
At night, and all those things that seem really really simple,
I've suddenly realized are a huge privilege, and they do
bring me so much joy. You know, they make me
laugh and equally they give me moments where I am struggling.
(04:11):
But it is I do genuinely count that a real
privilege to be able to parent my kids, because there
was a season there where that wasn't possible, and for
a long time I wondered if I'd ever be able
to do it again.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Well, I'm glad that your health is good enough to
do it, and I'm glad that you're smart enough to
be able to realize that it is a pleasure and
a privilege to be able to do these things. So
that's great. Hey, Am I right when I said in
the intro that you are trained. When you're trained as
a journal you're told when you're telling a story about
something like the earthquake in christ Church, you have to
(04:44):
step back from your own story to tell the facts
and other people's stories.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Oh one hundred percent. The idea is you're trying to
make yourself as invisible as possible because the facts and
the story speak for themselves. So it is a very
uncomfortable position to be in as someone who has told
other people's stories for twenty years, to be on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Of the mice, right, But on that day, back on
the twenty second of February twenty eleven, and you're telling
other people's stories and you're standing in front of a
collapse building with where one hundred and fifteen people died.
You had your own story going on in your head.
And that took a toll, didn't it.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It certainly did. I probably wasn't aware of the toll
at the time, and I think I felt very privileged
at the time to be able to use my skills
in such a way that I could help the city
that was crumbling around me. And I think the brain
is a beautiful thing and the sense that it protected
me in that moment. I definitely did not comprehend that
(05:47):
the images that I was seeing would be indicative of
so much death and destruction. I definitely didn't comprehend that
the destruction in front of me meant so many people
would not be coming home. So on those initial days
of reporting, definitely I did not understand the true toll
(06:07):
that would have taken. I mean, I think a few
months in to the reporting day and day out, I
started to realize that things were not returning to normal
as you would have thought they probably should have, or
they had in the past. But it was probably about
eighteen months post quake where I realized just how severe
the post traumatic stress had had to become.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And how how did it impact you? What were the
what were the symptoms?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well, good question, so I guess there's a whole bunch
of symptoms. But for me, you know, like there's so
many figures of sounds and smells that would take me back.
But one of the worst experiences, which was probably where
I realized things in my brain had had really got
quite jumbled up, was when I was covering the Royal
(06:59):
Commission of Inquiry. And this is a very sterile courtroom
and a very important part of the process post disaster,
where you know, everything's looked at in a lot of detail,
and they were talking about something that was a huge
trigger for me, and I won't talk about it on air,
(07:19):
but it was It wasn't pleasant details, it was true,
it was fact and it was tragic, and for whatever reason,
those details really just took me back to a place
that I couldn't escape. From and that's when the floodgates opened,
and it was like months and months and months of
pent up trauma just burst through. And in that space,
(07:45):
I realized, oh gosh, I can't hold it together.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Courtroom, that's not a good place to get to.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Crawl underneath the table because I was just in such
a station. I couldn't get out of that courtroom. And
it was filled with professional and also families that had
suffered far more than I'd ever suffered. So it was
just a really difficult spot. But I think that's the
thing about trauma is that sometimes it all burst its
(08:14):
banks in a place when you're least expecting it. But
by bursting I was able to deal with it. But
it was quite quite a process.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
What were you telling yourself as a professional journalist who's
trained to interface with tragedies and emotional situations, did you
chasen yourself? Did you tell yourself off for feeling feeling
like that?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh? Absolutely? I think that was probably why it had
got to such a disaster. Point is that I had
at that point didn't know that PTSD and journalists was
something that up to about ten percent of journalists can face.
I definitely didn't know that it was something that those
had experienced war zones often face. Now, I'm not for
a second trying to suggest that the quake was the
(09:03):
same as what a horrible war would be like, but
there are images that were the same. You know that
there are parts of that trauma that has similarities. And
so I absolutely had been brating myself, and it was
a very private journey. There was no way I was
going to talk about it with anybody because that would
(09:24):
be to me, a sign of weakness and also a
sign of making the story about you, because my job
was to tell the stories of everybody else's trauma, definitely
not to talk about my own.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, I mean PTSD is perhaps better understood than it was,
but I've heard that. Yes, as you say, about ten
percent of journalists get PTSD and about twenty percent need counseling.
After the Vietnam War and you were talking about battleground PTSD,
there were between about five hundred thousand and nine hundred
(09:55):
thousand American veterans of PTSD. Some of them took to
the bush in Hawaii. Others was trying to struggle on
with life that they'd burst out crying if a baby
cried or a helicopter flew over or something like that,
something that would trigger them and they were living with
it every day. So we're coming to the clothes of
the first half. But you got through that. What got
(10:17):
you through that PTSD?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I think to be honest, community, you know, we can't
forget that what you're describing as something that all of
christ Church was experiencing in some form. Also a lot
of counseling, which was a new journey for me, but
that was also really important, and also my family and
my faith. You know, I have my husband of nineteen
(10:41):
years is extremely supportive and he just walked that journey
alongside me. But to be perfectly honest, I think becoming
a mother was the healing point for me. It was
like the full circle journey where I had seen so
much death, but I was now bringing life into my
future world and that for me was really the turning
(11:04):
point I think for my healing journey.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Joy, you just said a few things said that I'd
love to expand upon. In the second half. I'm talking
with Joy read journalist who has showing how people can
get impacted and hit by life, but how you can
bounce back again. This is real life I'm John Cown
to be back with you and just.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Just a tick intelligent interviews with interesting people. It's real
life on news talks.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Be a.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Welcome back to real life. I'm John Town talking with
journalist Joy Read and every week we ask our guests
to pick some music that has got some significance or
meaning or just something that they like. What are we
listening to, Joy?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
This is Alex Warren Carry You Home. It's a song
that my kids play on repeat all the time. But
I love the messaging on it about just the power
of community and carrying each other hopes.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Well, you mentioned that as being a significant part of
your recovery from PTSD. You also mentioned your faith. Now,
when I've spoken to you before, you've talked about how
important your faith is to you. Now, you've been through
the grinder with We've talked about PTSD, your kids all
had significant health troubles, you yourself battled for a long
(12:31):
long time with long COVID and still on the recovery.
You must have had some pretty straight up conversations of
God during this time.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yes, that would be one way of putting it, but
in reality, I think it's also been a real gift
that I did have the ability to have some conversations
with God because I think life is unfair and life
does throw you journeys that you aren't prepared for, and
they don't seem that there's an easy way out of them.
(13:02):
And I think I've been really lucky because my faith
has given me an aspect of hope that I could
always hold on to through those times. And I think
it's hope that is one of the biggest gifts we
can we can have in situations which just feel I
guess hopeless.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Did God turn up for you.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
In multiple ways? He Sai, absolutely. I mean I'm talking
to you today, which shows that my health has certainly
come through in a long way. But I think it's
a quiet peace probably that bought the most significant difference.
And I guess my three children are healthy children today
and all of them could have had a very different
(13:43):
outcome from their story, and I just am internally grateful
for the healing that has existed through all members of
the family.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You're talking about recovering from PTSD. One of the interesting
things that I've encountered in the past with people is
that after their children is unwell or have an accident,
and especially you know, things which lend kids up in ICU,
the parents themselves experience PTSD. Up to a third of
(14:16):
them suffer symptoms of PTSD. And I'm just wondering you
hadn't long come out of your own journey of PTSD.
Were you stronger because of that accountcling you'd had, or
did that knock you back into a state of being
at sixes and sevens Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
It's a very good question. I think I was much stronger.
I had, by that stage come through quite a lot
of that, and I think I had a real focus
on wanting to have a future, you know, for the
for my son at the time, and then obviously I've
had two girls sixteen, But no, not for me personally.
(14:55):
I don't think it took me set me back necessarily,
but I definitely developed I had, I guess, secondary traumas
from those hospital experiences and they you know, they talk
about postmatal depressions are very real journey for so many
mothers in New Zealand. But if you have a child
that ends up in a neonatal unit, of which two
(15:17):
of mine have, that journey is I mean that that
chance of postnatal depression is three or four times more likely,
and I definitely would have fallen into that statistic because
it's just such an unnatural way to start motherhood. Yeah,
and it's a really difficult season.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, I'm not an expert in this, but I have
come across I've spoken with people that have said that
some postnatal depression is in reality a form of PTSD.
So maybe who knows that it's all happening between our
ears and it all has to handle process these situations,
so the things that get you through that. One of
(16:01):
the things you did was take off to Europe for
a couple of years, and that strikes me has been
stressful in itself to to a top a top flight job,
would like you did. Did you handle that? Okay?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
That was honestly probably the two calmest years of my life,
it felt like, but it was anything but calm on
the ground. But you know what, that was just such
a career highlight for me. And my husband was stay
at home dad at the time. He could take two
years leave without pay from his job so he could
be the main caregiver at home. Oh he is, he's
(16:34):
a bit of a champion. But that would really allowed
me to kind of go on and do the job
that I'd always dreamed of doing, and it was just
it was such a fun job to do for two years.
And I got home just before the pandemic. But I
scot all of the incredible times of being europe correspondent
(16:55):
through royal wedding and breakfast and lots of hundred years
centneries from World War One battles, a lot of walks
down history lane and witnessing new historical moments, and it
was just such an incredible opportunity for me personally for
my career, but also for our family.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, a wonderful, wonderful period of life back in New Zealand.
You got whacked by COVID. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yes, I got long COVID. Well, actually COVID first obviously
that I turned into long COVID. So this was, you know,
to be fair, I am one of all the stats
are saying, actually just recently, I'm one of only about
four percent of all New Zealanders have got long COVID
in some form, one research suggested, So I'm certainly not
an isolated incident. But essentially what happened is COVID. I
(17:51):
at the time didn't have the best health. I had
undiagnosed CLIAX disease, so my immune system was just not
in a great space. I had not slept in two
years because of a You know, my youngest child was
born post pandemic and was quite sickly, so that deaf
those first months, and so I just assumed, to be fair,
(18:11):
that it was just a combination of sleep deprivation and
trying to do too many things, which a lot of
high achieving women like to try and do. But it
turned out to be my body shutting down due to
long COVID. And it was about eighteen months or so
where I was most unwell. Well bad did it get well.
(18:35):
I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't walk to the letterbox.
I had to wear headphones at home because the noise
was too much. I was just on the couch all day.
I couldn't cook, I couldn't eat. I had to use
a wheelchair if I wanted to go anywhere further than
the driveway. But I never would want to go out
anywhere because there was just too much stimulation. I couldn't
(18:57):
do anything but the kids at school. I would struggle
with conversations. Light would affect me just I mean just
basically became out of that stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
It sounds really really awful, and it would be awful
for anyone. I'm just wondering for someone like yourself who
has lived life with lots of goals. I mean, you
traveled to Europe as a teenager, your qualifications, you're into
marriage and to family, into Korea, into achieving your dreams
(19:29):
of going to Europe, and yet boom something that this
can It must have seemed like has Joy Reid finished.
It must have been very very hard for you.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Yeah, I mean that's a really good way of putting it.
I did for a time ask myself that question, and
I think that was when I probably learned what true
resilience looks like. I used to think that resilience was
just pushing through and being strong, but at that time,
long COVID, I guess, taught me that resilience actually is
about adapting and accepting limitations and even if you don't
(20:06):
know its future, and you know, that was reality for
me for a very long time. Life changed very very quickly.
And yeah, I think the hardest thing was it definitely
took a hole on my I'm sorry, I took a
toll on my family and I don't want to go
into details, but you know, like kids know when their
(20:28):
mother has disappeared from life, and there were repercussions from that,
you know, just in their own journeys, And so that
was really hard to thinking that I had caused this
ripple effect throughout the FARO.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It's addressing you say disappeared. And when you mentioned about
four percent of New Zealanders living with this, and you're thinking,
where are they? I don't know that they vanish.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
They call them the missing millions in America. That's what
they call long COVID sufferers. And I think it's a
very act way because all of a sudden people are
just too unwow to be able to continue their early lives. Now,
when I say that four percent figure, that study was
quoting some kind of long COVID symptom, which there are
two hundred symptoms, So it could be ongoing respiratory concerns,
(21:14):
or it could be gut issues, or it could be
in my case, you know, chronic fatigue. So yeah, it
does look different for lots of different people. But it
is a very real journey. But the issue is if
it's your journey, you haven't got the energy to talk
about your journey or advocate for yourself, and there's just
very little support out there. So it's about surviving every
(21:36):
single day and if that means sleeping for eighteen hours
of those that day, then that's what it means.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Well, I'm so glad your health has come back to
back to a good state. You mentioned your baby. Your charity,
We've only got a couple of minutes tell us about
how your baby's doing.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
So essentially we give out care packages to parents who
are in hospital with a sick child or newborn and
mothers in mental health crisis. And it seems apt that
you mentioned the psychological distress that hospitalization causes for parents
in hospital with a thick kid, and so what we
do is we come alongside them with a care package
full of practical items as well as some emotional support
(22:17):
and handwritten note saying you know, we see you, You've
got this. And this year we're on track to give
away eight thousand care packages across thirty three different hospital
wards and NGOs in the South Island and it's just
continually grown. We have a beautiful volunteer community of over
one hundred and seventy people who mobilize to put these
care packages together so that we can be there alongside
(22:39):
a parent. And you know, this is a very personal journey.
This is something I know very deeply how hard it
can be. But it's just an absolute privilege to be
able to say to someone that you're stronger than you know,
you can do this, and to realize the power that
those words can have in a moment of isolation and vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
You said earlier how important a community was to your
own recovery. It must be so touching for people that
are in a low EBB to know that someone like yourself,
that the volunteers and people are thinking of them. What's
their website? What's the website people want to go and
support you.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Dub dub dub dot one mother to another, dot org
dot zed.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
One mother to another dot org dot n said, joy
has been a delight talking to you. Your story is
pretty harrowing, but the fact that you've come back from it,
that they get through it, that you've picked up insights
and joy in the way of living in spite of
all this, it really is inspiring. So thank you so
much for taking the.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Time for more From news Talk, said b listen live
on air or online and keep our shows with you
wherever you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio,
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk S ed B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio,
Real Conversation, Real Connection. It's Real Life with John Cowen
on News Talk S ed B.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Goday and welcome to Real Life. And tonight, I'm going
to get journalists, Joy read to break one of the
cardinal rules of journalism, never let the story be about yourself. Well,
tonight's story is going to be entirely about yourself. So
welcome Joy Shewtter.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Oh, it's a pleasure. I've spoken with you before and
I'm looking forward to hearing an update. But just to
foreshadow our conversation, you've been through a hell of a
time with PTSD SEC children recovering from long COVID out
of ten. How are you at the moment?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Oh, you know what, life changes very quickly, and it
can change in an instant and I've learned that lesson
multiple times over. But I'm doing really well, Thank you, John.
My house has definitely improved to a point where I
am living a new normal and very satisfied and yeah
happy and in this new new world.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, that's fantastic. That's fantastic. We'll talk about how you
got there, the things that work, the things that helped,
the things that hindered. But a people know you as
a high profile journalist tv Ones European correspondent for a
couple of years covering royals and Brexits and other big,
big events. What is what is in your new normal now?
(01:54):
What are the things that are giving you joy and pleasure?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Well, first of all, it's been the mum taxis. I
feel like that could be a full time job in
itself at the moment. But it's definitely being able to
parent my three beautiful childre d be on the sideline
of their sports events and just walk the journey along
with them. And I know that probably doesn't sound as
glamorous as you know, sort of the previous roles of
(02:21):
how that it is by far my most important and
also I am I run a charity called One Mother
to Another and this I started it ten years ago
as a bit of a hobby with a friend and
it's now become my as my health has improved, it's
definitely become my work life. So I do that when
I'm not parenting, I guess I'm parenting my other baby,
(02:42):
which is the one mother to mother charity.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Right back to the parenting, you actually really do get
joy out of that. I suppose being hindered from doing
that by poor health for so long, do you think
that's given you an insight and appreciation of parenting perhaps
some mums some dads wouldn't have.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, that's right. I mean I think you know, there
are times definitely when I want to pull my hair out,
and half time I have no idea what I'm doing.
But you know what, tell me it gets better? John, No.
I mean. The thing is, my three children have all
had pretty serious health uneds themselves, and so like the
fact that they are here and healthy today is just
(03:24):
an absolute blessing. But as I say, when I lost
my health due to long COVID in twenty twenty three,
very quickly, it's so obvious what your priority is when
you can't do life anymore. And instantly what was just
so obvious was that if I could ever get my
health back enough to be able to parent my children again,
(03:47):
that to me was going to be my new success.
And you know, I'm now being able to cook for them,
go along to their sports games and put them to bed.
At night, and all those things that seem really really simple,
I've suddenly realized are a huge privilege, and they do
bring me so much joy. You know, they make me
laugh and equally they give me moments where I am struggling.
(04:11):
But it is I do genuinely count that a real
privilege to be able to parent my kids, because there
was a season there where that wasn't possible, and for
a long time I wondered if I'd ever be able
to do it again.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Well, I'm glad that your health is good enough to
do it, and I'm glad that you're smart enough to
be able to realize that it is a pleasure and
a privilege to be able to do these things. So
that's great. Hey, Am I right when I said in
the intro that you are trained. When you're trained as
a journal you're told when you're telling a story about
something like the earthquake in christ Church, you have to
(04:44):
step back from your own story to tell the facts
and other people's stories.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Oh one hundred percent. The idea is you're trying to
make yourself as invisible as possible because the facts and
the story speak for themselves. So it is a very
uncomfortable position to be in as someone who has told
other people's stories for twenty years, to be on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Of the mice, right, But on that day, back on
the twenty second of February twenty eleven, and you're telling
other people's stories and you're standing in front of a
collapse building with where one hundred and fifteen people died.
You had your own story going on in your head.
And that took a toll, didn't it.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It certainly did. I probably wasn't aware of the toll
at the time, and I think I felt very privileged
at the time to be able to use my skills
in such a way that I could help the city
that was crumbling around me. And I think the brain
is a beautiful thing and the sense that it protected
me in that moment. I definitely did not comprehend that
(05:47):
the images that I was seeing would be indicative of
so much death and destruction. I definitely didn't comprehend that
the destruction in front of me meant so many people
would not be coming home. So on those initial days
of reporting, definitely I did not understand the true toll
(06:07):
that would have taken. I mean, I think a few
months in to the reporting day and day out, I
started to realize that things were not returning to normal
as you would have thought they probably should have, or
they had in the past. But it was probably about
eighteen months post quake where I realized just how severe
the post traumatic stress had had to become.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And how how did it impact you? What were the
what were the symptoms?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well, good question, so I guess there's a whole bunch
of symptoms. But for me, you know, like there's so
many figures of sounds and smells that would take me back.
But one of the worst experiences, which was probably where
I realized things in my brain had had really got
quite jumbled up, was when I was covering the Royal
(06:59):
Commission of Inquiry. And this is a very sterile courtroom
and a very important part of the process post disaster,
where you know, everything's looked at in a lot of detail,
and they were talking about something that was a huge
trigger for me, and I won't talk about it on air,
(07:19):
but it was It wasn't pleasant details, it was true,
it was fact and it was tragic, and for whatever reason,
those details really just took me back to a place
that I couldn't escape. From and that's when the floodgates opened,
and it was like months and months and months of
pent up trauma just burst through. And in that space,
(07:45):
I realized, oh gosh, I can't hold it together.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Courtroom, that's not a good place to get to.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Crawl underneath the table because I was just in such
a station. I couldn't get out of that courtroom. And
it was filled with professional and also families that had
suffered far more than I'd ever suffered. So it was
just a really difficult spot. But I think that's the
thing about trauma is that sometimes it all burst its
(08:14):
banks in a place when you're least expecting it. But
by bursting I was able to deal with it. But
it was quite quite a process.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
What were you telling yourself as a professional journalist who's
trained to interface with tragedies and emotional situations, did you
chasen yourself? Did you tell yourself off for feeling feeling
like that?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh? Absolutely? I think that was probably why it had
got to such a disaster. Point is that I had
at that point didn't know that PTSD and journalists was
something that up to about ten percent of journalists can face.
I definitely didn't know that it was something that those
had experienced war zones often face. Now, I'm not for
a second trying to suggest that the quake was the
(09:03):
same as what a horrible war would be like, but
there are images that were the same. You know that
there are parts of that trauma that has similarities. And
so I absolutely had been brating myself, and it was
a very private journey. There was no way I was
going to talk about it with anybody because that would
(09:24):
be to me, a sign of weakness and also a
sign of making the story about you, because my job
was to tell the stories of everybody else's trauma, definitely
not to talk about my own.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, I mean PTSD is perhaps better understood than it was,
but I've heard that. Yes, as you say, about ten
percent of journalists get PTSD and about twenty percent need counseling.
After the Vietnam War and you were talking about battleground PTSD,
there were between about five hundred thousand and nine hundred
(09:55):
thousand American veterans of PTSD. Some of them took to
the bush in Hawaii. Others was trying to struggle on
with life that they'd burst out crying if a baby
cried or a helicopter flew over or something like that,
something that would trigger them and they were living with
it every day. So we're coming to the clothes of
the first half. But you got through that. What got
(10:17):
you through that PTSD?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I think to be honest, community, you know, we can't
forget that what you're describing as something that all of
christ Church was experiencing in some form. Also a lot
of counseling, which was a new journey for me, but
that was also really important, and also my family and
my faith. You know, I have my husband of nineteen
(10:41):
years is extremely supportive and he just walked that journey
alongside me. But to be perfectly honest, I think becoming
a mother was the healing point for me. It was
like the full circle journey where I had seen so
much death, but I was now bringing life into my
future world and that for me was really the turning
(11:04):
point I think for my healing journey.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Joy, you just said a few things said that I'd
love to expand upon. In the second half. I'm talking
with Joy read journalist who has showing how people can
get impacted and hit by life, but how you can
bounce back again. This is real life I'm John Cown
to be back with you and just.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Just a tick intelligent interviews with interesting people. It's real
life on news talks.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Be a.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Welcome back to real life. I'm John Town talking with
journalist Joy Read and every week we ask our guests
to pick some music that has got some significance or
meaning or just something that they like. What are we
listening to, Joy?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
This is Alex Warren Carry You Home. It's a song
that my kids play on repeat all the time. But
I love the messaging on it about just the power
of community and carrying each other hopes.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Well, you mentioned that as being a significant part of
your recovery from PTSD. You also mentioned your faith. Now,
when I've spoken to you before, you've talked about how
important your faith is to you. Now, you've been through
the grinder with We've talked about PTSD, your kids all
had significant health troubles, you yourself battled for a long
(12:31):
long time with long COVID and still on the recovery.
You must have had some pretty straight up conversations of
God during this time.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yes, that would be one way of putting it, but
in reality, I think it's also been a real gift
that I did have the ability to have some conversations
with God because I think life is unfair and life
does throw you journeys that you aren't prepared for, and
they don't seem that there's an easy way out of them.
(13:02):
And I think I've been really lucky because my faith
has given me an aspect of hope that I could
always hold on to through those times. And I think
it's hope that is one of the biggest gifts we
can we can have in situations which just feel I
guess hopeless.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Did God turn up for you.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
In multiple ways? He Sai, absolutely. I mean I'm talking
to you today, which shows that my health has certainly
come through in a long way. But I think it's
a quiet peace probably that bought the most significant difference.
And I guess my three children are healthy children today
and all of them could have had a very different
(13:43):
outcome from their story, and I just am internally grateful
for the healing that has existed through all members of
the family.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You're talking about recovering from PTSD. One of the interesting
things that I've encountered in the past with people is
that after their children is unwell or have an accident,
and especially you know, things which lend kids up in ICU,
the parents themselves experience PTSD. Up to a third of
(14:16):
them suffer symptoms of PTSD. And I'm just wondering you
hadn't long come out of your own journey of PTSD.
Were you stronger because of that accountcling you'd had, or
did that knock you back into a state of being
at sixes and sevens Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
It's a very good question. I think I was much stronger.
I had, by that stage come through quite a lot
of that, and I think I had a real focus
on wanting to have a future, you know, for the
for my son at the time, and then obviously I've
had two girls sixteen, But no, not for me personally.
(14:55):
I don't think it took me set me back necessarily,
but I definitely developed I had, I guess, secondary traumas
from those hospital experiences and they you know, they talk
about postmatal depressions are very real journey for so many
mothers in New Zealand. But if you have a child
that ends up in a neonatal unit, of which two
(15:17):
of mine have, that journey is I mean that that
chance of postnatal depression is three or four times more likely,
and I definitely would have fallen into that statistic because
it's just such an unnatural way to start motherhood. Yeah,
and it's a really difficult season.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, I'm not an expert in this, but I have
come across I've spoken with people that have said that
some postnatal depression is in reality a form of PTSD.
So maybe who knows that it's all happening between our
ears and it all has to handle process these situations,
so the things that get you through that. One of
(16:01):
the things you did was take off to Europe for
a couple of years, and that strikes me has been
stressful in itself to to a top a top flight job,
would like you did. Did you handle that? Okay?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
That was honestly probably the two calmest years of my life,
it felt like, but it was anything but calm on
the ground. But you know what, that was just such
a career highlight for me. And my husband was stay
at home dad at the time. He could take two
years leave without pay from his job so he could
be the main caregiver at home. Oh he is, he's
(16:34):
a bit of a champion. But that would really allowed
me to kind of go on and do the job
that I'd always dreamed of doing, and it was just
it was such a fun job to do for two years.
And I got home just before the pandemic. But I
scot all of the incredible times of being europe correspondent
(16:55):
through royal wedding and breakfast and lots of hundred years
centneries from World War One battles, a lot of walks
down history lane and witnessing new historical moments, and it
was just such an incredible opportunity for me personally for
my career, but also for our family.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, a wonderful, wonderful period of life back in New Zealand.
You got whacked by COVID. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yes, I got long COVID. Well, actually COVID first obviously
that I turned into long COVID. So this was, you know,
to be fair, I am one of all the stats
are saying, actually just recently, I'm one of only about
four percent of all New Zealanders have got long COVID
in some form, one research suggested, So I'm certainly not
an isolated incident. But essentially what happened is COVID. I
(17:51):
at the time didn't have the best health. I had
undiagnosed CLIAX disease, so my immune system was just not
in a great space. I had not slept in two
years because of a You know, my youngest child was
born post pandemic and was quite sickly, so that deaf
those first months, and so I just assumed, to be fair,
(18:11):
that it was just a combination of sleep deprivation and
trying to do too many things, which a lot of
high achieving women like to try and do. But it
turned out to be my body shutting down due to
long COVID. And it was about eighteen months or so
where I was most unwell. Well bad did it get well.
(18:35):
I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't walk to the letterbox.
I had to wear headphones at home because the noise
was too much. I was just on the couch all day.
I couldn't cook, I couldn't eat. I had to use
a wheelchair if I wanted to go anywhere further than
the driveway. But I never would want to go out
anywhere because there was just too much stimulation. I couldn't
(18:57):
do anything but the kids at school. I would struggle
with conversations. Light would affect me just I mean just
basically became out of that stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
It sounds really really awful, and it would be awful
for anyone. I'm just wondering for someone like yourself who
has lived life with lots of goals. I mean, you
traveled to Europe as a teenager, your qualifications, you're into
marriage and to family, into Korea, into achieving your dreams
(19:29):
of going to Europe, and yet boom something that this
can It must have seemed like has Joy Reid finished.
It must have been very very hard for you.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Yeah, I mean that's a really good way of putting it.
I did for a time ask myself that question, and
I think that was when I probably learned what true
resilience looks like. I used to think that resilience was
just pushing through and being strong, but at that time,
long COVID, I guess, taught me that resilience actually is
about adapting and accepting limitations and even if you don't
(20:06):
know its future, and you know, that was reality for
me for a very long time. Life changed very very quickly.
And yeah, I think the hardest thing was it definitely
took a hole on my I'm sorry, I took a
toll on my family and I don't want to go
into details, but you know, like kids know when their
(20:28):
mother has disappeared from life, and there were repercussions from that,
you know, just in their own journeys, And so that
was really hard to thinking that I had caused this
ripple effect throughout the FARO.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It's addressing you say disappeared. And when you mentioned about
four percent of New Zealanders living with this, and you're thinking,
where are they? I don't know that they vanish.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
They call them the missing millions in America. That's what
they call long COVID sufferers. And I think it's a
very act way because all of a sudden people are
just too unwow to be able to continue their early lives. Now,
when I say that four percent figure, that study was
quoting some kind of long COVID symptom, which there are
two hundred symptoms, So it could be ongoing respiratory concerns,
(21:14):
or it could be gut issues, or it could be
in my case, you know, chronic fatigue. So yeah, it
does look different for lots of different people. But it
is a very real journey. But the issue is if
it's your journey, you haven't got the energy to talk
about your journey or advocate for yourself, and there's just
very little support out there. So it's about surviving every
(21:36):
single day and if that means sleeping for eighteen hours
of those that day, then that's what it means.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Well, I'm so glad your health has come back to
back to a good state. You mentioned your baby. Your charity,
We've only got a couple of minutes tell us about
how your baby's doing.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
So essentially we give out care packages to parents who
are in hospital with a sick child or newborn and
mothers in mental health crisis. And it seems apt that
you mentioned the psychological distress that hospitalization causes for parents
in hospital with a thick kid, and so what we
do is we come alongside them with a care package
full of practical items as well as some emotional support
(22:17):
and handwritten note saying you know, we see you, You've
got this. And this year we're on track to give
away eight thousand care packages across thirty three different hospital
wards and NGOs in the South Island and it's just
continually grown. We have a beautiful volunteer community of over
one hundred and seventy people who mobilize to put these
care packages together so that we can be there alongside
(22:39):
a parent. And you know, this is a very personal journey.
This is something I know very deeply how hard it
can be. But it's just an absolute privilege to be
able to say to someone that you're stronger than you know,
you can do this, and to realize the power that
those words can have in a moment of isolation and vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
You said earlier how important a community was to your
own recovery. It must be so touching for people that
are in a low EBB to know that someone like yourself,
that the volunteers and people are thinking of them. What's
their website? What's the website people want to go and
support you.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Dub dub dub dot one mother to another, dot org
dot zed.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
One mother to another dot org dot n said, joy
has been a delight talking to you. Your story is
pretty harrowing, but the fact that you've come back from it,
that they get through it, that you've picked up insights
and joy in the way of living in spite of
all this, it really is inspiring. So thank you so
much for taking the.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Time for more From news Talk, said b listen live
on air or online and keep our shows with you
wherever you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio,
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