October 17, 2024 • 40 mins
WATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE!
ACC Head G Lane joins Manaia Stewart fresh off the back of filling in on the Hauraki Breakfast and regurgitates the best bits of the radio show (0:00)...
Then, the fellas react to the Black Caps dismissing India for a deeply shameful 46 and ask why it gives them more anxiety about the outcome of this game (11:12). Plus, the Auckland FC Trump Rally and the winners of The ACC's Best Of 2024 - Warriors Edition (22:24)!
Finally, they get to your feedback in 'Yours Please' (24:23).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life in the Export being Gauden Studio and brought to
you was always by Export Ultra. This is the Agenda
Podcast for Friday, the eighteenth of October.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting nonsense and clap trap,
brought to you by Export Ultra.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
And a big Happy Friday to one half of the
Grotten Jerry Show. This morning, and actually line Kate Britain
from out of the office was saying that they should
be calling the Hierarchy Breakfast at the moment.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
It should be Hierarchy Breakfast.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
With an agenda, Yes, because it's just us feeling it. Yeah.
I spat roast a week on a Monday and a
Fridays spit. Yeah, I spat. I spat thet No the
Jerry Show yea or the Hidarcky Breakfast or whatever it is.
Have you seen the branding they've done for poor Jeremy.
It's like Jimmie Wells and Friends. And it's the saddest
(00:50):
photo of him on his own.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
There's no and it's so stark because he only takes
up a quarter of the picture. Yeah, and the rest
is just empty grayness.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
This morning it was America, a bit, a bit of
America's Cup. Chat around. You know, they're not going to
do the racing here, so if we do win the Cup,
we need to make it work harder for Kiwis. So
we turned about talked about maybe taking on the road
and using it twenty first to skull out of instead
of a yard glass. Oh yeah, yeah, potentially drawing some
holes in it and turning it into a shisha pipe.
(01:21):
Oh yeah, you bong, that's perfect for it. Yeah, turning
it into a bong. Some suggestions around maybe just giving
it to some more say sorry, oh yeah, for crashing
and soiling their pristine beaches. Yeah. So we talked a
bit about that, talked a bit about a bit of
yesterday afternoon. I think you had left work, but I
was in the toilet and someone came in at two
(01:44):
pm and was vigorously brushing their teeth and the toilets.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
And it raised alarm bells for me because we discussed
what would require that a big lunch and a meeting
afterwards to hide some evidence.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yes, yeah, okay, that's exactly what it would have been.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
My mind also went because it was in the public toilet,
one that has renowned for hookups yepday afternoon. Yeah, potentially
getting ready for the hook up in the toilet or
post getting rid of any kind of DNA.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Post I reckon. Yeah. Otherwise, very considerate from that person
to bus your teeth.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Beforehand, anyway, it was renowned to it, and then next
to that person after they actually after they finished brushing
the teeth, I burst out to see who it was.
Did them, No, they scuttled into the disabled So it
kind of makes sense.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I'm gonna, yeah, I reckon that was definitely a hook up.
They were trying to avoid someone saying that they had
been out there hooking up. Yeah, hook up, all pass up? Yes, right, well,
fuck up. That's my rule. That's that's how I live
my life. You got three options the way I said,
I was gonna that's the way I live my life.
(02:49):
I live my life, man, And if I can't, if
it's none of us. But that's that's the only really
people I see people in my life hog up, pass up,
or fuck up. No, I don't stand by any of
the things that I say on this podcast at all.
I was gonna say, I've got a thing on if
I'm in the toilets at work or any like public
toilets and I'm in the stall and I hear someone
(03:14):
else is about to leave the stall.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I'll let them go before I come out.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
You don't want to face them.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I don't want to face them. And it's more of
a courtesy thing out of I don't want them to
have to face me because someone was in there this morning.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I don't know why this always starts a toilet chat,
but it does.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Just heavy, heavy breathing.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And I sometimes you've got to breathe through it. It's like,
you know, and the basics of childbirth is controlling your breathing.
And it says sometimes when I go to Twitter, it
almost feels like I'm giving birth to something.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, So this bloke was really getting into his breath
work this morning.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Is like just concentrating from the third staying alive, probably yeah,
probably not pushing too hard.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
You know, he's probably concentrating on that.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You don't want to, yeah, because you don't want to.
You don't want to blow anything out there.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
No, And so I was just thinking, like I put
myself in his shoes, and I was like, well, he's
not going to want me to look him in the.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Eye after because he'd be aware that I hope he's
aware that.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
He was, that he could hear you breathing through it,
that I could hear him breathing through it.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yes, yeah, And so I'm like, he doesn't. We don't
want to lock eyes after that. So I will generally
if I, you know, if I'm about to leave, I'll
wait and let them clear out.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It's very courteous of you, Yeah, very courteous.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And subsequently it annoys me when I'm clearly about to
head out and then someone else burst out of the
thing as well. Really, we're going to do this because
if we know each other now, I've got to be like,
oh yeah, what about when you were just ripping ass
this morning?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well that's famously every morning my Bell's SYNCD with Great
New Zealander David Fanak.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
And he was my dumb buddy for about eighteen months
when he was on Breakfast and Flavor and I was
working at ZI him who were dumb buddies, and we've
been we've knowing each other's dumb buddies ever since. So
he came in for Stacey Morrison function and I was
like dumb buddy, and we embraced like old friends.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And did you guys have a yarn or you're dumbing?
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
It got to the point where we were so comfortable
we're just chat Yeah, and we completely ignored the fact
that we were both doing terrible things to the porcelain
and occasionally occasionally someone would get something extra and you
go jeezy, sorry, sorry, Laney, you big night last night.
But it got to the point where, yeah, every must
have been it must have been the eight o'clock hour
(05:32):
or something around there was a bit of a break
and Dave could take five and it aligned with my
morning coffee and need to go anyway, should get off
the toilet chat because we this morning we did chat
about fucking with Mike Hosking and we rang Matt Heath
live on here and put him on the spot around
is he willing to be he owes us he's left
(05:54):
Jerry and the Lurch. He owes the show to do something.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
There's a new segment on the Haidak Your Breakfast with
an agenda as we because we have a mole on
the inside. We've got Matt Heath. Yeah, we want to
start getting him to Jerry wants to call it if
with m h yes, which could either stand for fuck
with Mike Casking or fuck with Mett Heath, but because
we've got a mole on the inside, because I think
the first one that was brought up that he has
(06:19):
his own Dyson vacuum winner and he will vacuum the
studio every day when he gets in there.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
So it was like, well, remove the filter, remove the filters.
That's so annoying because or block the filter because then
it goes starts and it stops fuxs me off so much.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Or run the battery down. Yep, that'll be another one.
So you talk to Heath this morning. Yes, we talked
to Heath.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
And I look if thing with imh is quite good
because we can if we get in trouble, we can
deny and say it's mad Heath when really it's it's Husking. No,
we talked to him and we've we've discussed quite a
few things. He he brought up a point because I
was talking extreme things like putting greenlit muscles and the
roof ceiling tiles and stuff like that. He goes, that's
going to really affect me as well, becau as he
uses the studio. So we'll like fair enough, we'll start
(07:02):
small and we suggested popping the keys of off his
keyboard and swapping around a couple of hours. Yep, great, Initially,
that'll be quite good, potentially switching around reversing his mouse button,
which is quite frustrating. Then we got onto something quite
good because Matt evison In's side, he's got a printer
right next to him, does it? Yes, and he prints
off everything and reads it off a piece of paper. Now,
(07:24):
we don't want to fuck with him, so he can't print.
But what would love to do is like just load
it with yellow ink, like just get rid of the
magenta everything else and just load it with one color
so it only comes out purple or yellow or red.
And he can't do anything about it because he can
still do his job. And so Matt. So Matt's in,
(07:45):
He's in. He's in for the first problem, iffing with
the EMH first problem.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Heath was in on the podcast earlier this week. For
anyone who was able to watch the video portion of
the podcast, you will notice he spent the entire podcast
trying to peer his phone to his Apple Watch.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I don't know, But I don't know if he's got
the technical know how to be able to swap the
filters out.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh, I know, we'll do that. We just need we
just we just needed that bit of intel from him
that that's our inside, inside kind of knowledge. We've we've
already talked about how we're going to get in there.
It's like Ocean's eleven. We're putting a team together and
I'll discuss it with you after the show around how
we're going to do it, because it needs to be
an operation in which there needs to be a false
(08:27):
flag somewhere on the floor and we need to go
in there so to actually do the do the bits
and pieces, because I think there's always someone in that
production area outside Hosking, so we need a distraction. I
think I know how I Controjanhorse my way in there. Yeah,
there's the studio, the TV studio right next door that
we go to quite often.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yes, I've got a more I've got a more direct approach.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Though.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I dress up as a cleaner and walk straight in there.
I'm a minority. He's already going to assume I'm part
of the cleaning staff.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I reckon I could waltz straight up in there with
a little bit of high vers and a cleaning uniform.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
That's a great idea, I reckon.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I could walk straight in there and be like, hey, look,
I've come to empty the bins or something. Yeah, and
someone mentioned that the printer was out of it, so
I'm because then he knows I just come in to
clean empty the bins.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
And I think at nighttime because Marcus Slash does the
night show from Luff for Luff, so there's only a
young producer sitting there getting a phone call. So the
ink here.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
No.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So yeah, when you si we've got the team together,
the team is assembled. I think we're meeting lunchtime today
over a yamha at an undisclosed location to work out
phase two of iffing with him. H Okay, that's that's
that's the next next week. When you're on next week,
you can just It's like this is like passing the
Betton over a pick for that's all we talked about.
(09:45):
You guys, carry on next week?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yes, on next week?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
No, but who is I think he's only on from Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, I'll find out on Sunday night.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
But same.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I like the I'm picturing it like Ocean's eleven.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I can here the little jazz music in the background,
and you know how the you know, the characters are
walking past each other and handing off brown paper beds.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
And someone leaning over the sub editor and the Herald
just distracting them with something.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Meanwhile, I walk past in a fake beard on top
of my real beard.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah, full like Team America, really bad like and it's
just all your guys pubs like Jeremy Beadle. Do you
remember Beatles About? Oh my god, people who remember Beatles About.
It was a prank show with Jeremy Beadle, who was
this very strange English presenter and they'd always dread him
(10:33):
up as a cleaner and he'd have a terrible beard
and sunglasses. It was Team America esk and he always
appeared and that, but the disguise was so bad that
when the person saw him they go, ah, fuck Beatles
About Beetle. It's old Beatles old Jeremy Beadle.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Think you show me this? Yeah, anyway, I think it's
a great idea.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
We'll keep going and there's actually at the end of
the show, there'll be We've got plenty of yours pleased
to get through at the end of the show. One
of them is about a similar sort of thing, so
we'll pick up on that as well. Black Caps, we
need to talk about it. Let's take a quick break.
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
This is a tease. This will keep you around. We're
going to talk about the black Caps.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Just incredible what happened over and we're gonna break it
down right after this break. India all out for forty
six was the headline this morning.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Oh so good to watch and so disappointing for the
ACC team who were doing Game of two Halves because
India were like thirty eight eight at eight thirty last night.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
So hopefully people can go back and watch Game of
two Halves because at the same time we were tearing
India a new one. Yeah on skysport one. Is that
why the rating sucks? Knock on the shit, Ah, it was.
It was something else to behold because they were so
reckless India, but it was so reckless and then but
(11:54):
awesome they got I mean unbelievable they got out for
forty six. But I still this is a Black Kept
fan issue. I still couldn't enjoy the fact we rolled
India for a record low total in India. I still
couldn't enjoy it because I was terrified about us batting
next and facing Seraj and Boomera and going ah fuck
and balls deep and Ashwen I was like fuck, and
(12:18):
so I had immediately got him out for forty six.
I immediately had anxiety about us bating.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I think this all the time, man, when we have
an awesome bowling attack, just like it's the same pitch,
We're about to walk back out onto the same pitch,
Why won't it do the same thing to us? And
then we didn't and it didn't, so one for three.
I think it stumps on day two because the first
day was a washout. The weird thing about it, and
this just shows how much India controlled world cricket is.
(12:43):
This morning, I went to watch the highlights and I
couldn't find all of the highlights packages were geo blocked
except for highlights of Ashwin bowling out Conway and like
all of the Indian wickets were on there, but there
was nothing about how they got fucked up for forty six. Ridiculous.
Unfortunately for US, we thirty six is still our low scorer. Yeah,
(13:05):
is that the all time low.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Score is lower than that, like Zimbabwe or something and
there's a shocker out there, late nineties.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
But yeah, so this is huge and again at the
end of the show, we're going to get to the
yours pleases.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
There is a little bit of a trio for us.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh my chip. Yeah, I'm still in on India though,
all that betting. Yeah, I'm like, this is like happiness insurance. Sure,
because if we win, this is gonna be amazing, but
a happiness insurance for me. Batting last on any Indian pitch, yeah,
is a challenge. So I mean this is this is
the paranoid Black Caps fan of me talking. We could
(13:44):
get rolled for sixty in the second innings. You know
what I mean. That's that there is a high. If
they can get rolled for forty six, we can get
rolled for fifty.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
That's what my paranoid is. We're going to get a
lead of three hundred at least and then I'll be
more comfortable and look not even then take my money.
It's a winning and we have only ever had one
Tears victory in India and it was the second Test
of a series in which they pumped us. In the
first Test, they rested loads of players, hardly got ten wickets,
but it was so.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Long ago, but I don't remember it.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
ID take my money. I don't care. It's happening. It's insurance.
And I know we're going to get some shit because
I tipped out India at two to eighty to win
in New Zealand at fourteen to win. And if you
got on that, fucking good on you. Yeah, well done.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
What if you had to pick what happened? What happened?
Like you said, they're reckless?
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Look we I mean there was a bit of movement.
There was a bit of se movement, but not crazy
like it was a bit. The ground was a bit wet,
the ball was doing a bit, but if you saw
New Zealand bat, it was doing a bit. But we
weren't playing out rageous rishant pants shots were fucking outrageous,
like he got dropped, got dropped by Blundell, absolute sitter,
(14:52):
but he was swinging at everything wide swinging. That's how
they got everyone there was half of them were just
reckless shots. WHI studn't say they're not bad against us.
They had to get them out.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah that's right.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
But it seemed a bit kereless from India the way
they batted. And I don't know if that's the way
they bad against everyone or were they just treading us
with disregard.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's what I'm wondering. Yes, did they sort of just
waltz into this one?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And yeah and good on met Henry five wickets, got
one hundred Test wickets. Now he bowled really he bowled
really well. You could tell willow Rock was just trying
to bowl as fucking fast as possible, which good, but
that's what he's supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
That's what the young follow on the team is supposed
to do.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
But the odd one was like I think he bowled
won at second slipped one stage. He was like firing everywhere,
but he was hurrying them up. He was bowling in
the low one forties. But when met Henry come on,
you know how you met Henry on a green seamen
like Matt Henry at Hagley is like, it's a beauty
to watch because it's swinging. It's seeming that was him,
that was him last night. It was beautiful to watch.
(15:47):
Is it just that they prepared the wrong pitch? They
gave us our own pitch? Well, he said the Indian
captain has said, I completely misread the pitch and it
does look like a road. Yeah, look at it and go,
that's a road. That's why bat first put it total on.
But maybe because of the rain and it's been under covers.
It was undercovers all the day before, yeah, and and
all that morning and an hour before it started, right,
(16:09):
So obviously it had a bit of juice in it
and that's what caused a few issues.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But it is going to dry out and we're going
to get spun to bits later on.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
That's that's again, that is whatever. That's a black Cat
fan right there. You've summed it up and won and
I fucking ate it. It's the cat's killing us. But
that's why we love it. That's why we love it.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, so we're in the driver's seat well and truly
one hundred and eighty for three. We're not going to
dish add any tips off the back of.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That, no, but my new India are paying like six
bucks away.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And just bear in mind if you're gambling on this,
and look, there's plenty of there's plenty of cricket left
in clay. There is plenty of cricket, and there's wild,
wild circumstances. Do one last final thought on this whenever
there's a rain delay. We as New Zealanders, I'm not
saying the black cast, but as key as we love
to just properly lean into the purse on a rain delay.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
You don't you reckon? There was any element of that,
and maybe that actually gave us a bit of extra
juice on the So do you think do you think
potentially they're like, this test match is going to be
rained off.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
It's just let's just hurt the person and the next other.
Oh god, oh god. And then sometimes you have your
best performances on off the back foot.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
True.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Actually, because you've got a point to prove, you almost
try a bit harder because you don't want to be
exposed as fuck. They look hungover?
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Then there's the other thing of just going into survival
mode and being like, right, we just have to get
this done. I'm so dusty, I've just got to go.
And then you're not overthinking, you're not in your own head,
just trying to survive.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
There is a great where they're staying is I think
it's the Ritz Bangalore is where they usually stay. There
is a great, ironically craft beer bar right next door
on the rooftop of a because that's where we stayed
when we went to the or work no play Bangalore trip.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Was this where met heath Weed on Verrett Koli.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yes, yeah, so next door right next door is a
is a big craft beer bar. But it's like American
style with wings and beers, and so I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Oh mate, if I'm will ow' rourke and I see
sort of some of the older fellas and the team
knocking the head off, you know, a beer or two,
i'd lose the plot, you lose the plenty. I suppose
that's why I'm not in the Black Cats that you belong. Yeah,
water finds its level, doesn't it. So yeah black Caps
one three, stump stay two. It'll pick back up again
(18:18):
five o'clock this afternoon, which actually brilliant.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Yeah. I might even start earlier, but doubt it because
there is rain around both all five days predicted to
have a little bit of rain, so there's gonna it's
going to be on and off a little bit. But
it's so far I don't think. Well they'll need five
days anyway, No, no, not when they get bold out
for forty six, do you reckon?
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Sorry?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
I know we need to get off the black Caps here,
but do you reckon at.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Any point the black Caps started looking at it and going,
if we can get them for thirty five, that would
absolve so many of us since because.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You know, because they were almost looking like that. Yeah,
they were in trouble. Yeah hey, And quickly on cricket,
is the T twenty Women's World Cup as on all
over the show because Australia had been knocked out by
South Africa. Yes, so the two hot hot favorites England
and Australia are gone and hews you ended playing West
Indies to then place South Africa in the final. It
(19:12):
couldn't have gone any better, two teams of which they've
beaten regularly, Yes, and competed with regularly. Because I would
have if it was New Zealand Australia final, I hate
to say it, we would have wouldn't have won.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That because the stat going into that was that they
hadn't won a T twenty in the calendar year twenty
twenty four. They'd lost ten in a row and those
were against Australia and England.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
With yes, so this is quick with that perfectly. So
that's all happening this weekend as well, and I.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Don't want to downplay the quality of the white ferns,
but it does have touch of a touch of the
Stephen Bradburys about it, who was the Australian ice skatered
to where everyone else fell over and he just went
through and one.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Day take it though he's in a Winter Olympic gold medalist.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
So oh god, I hope they managed to win this
one because also you want to women in Dubai no
better place to bloody celebrate.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Absolutely and what a great what a great comeback story
as well, losing ten row and then winning a.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Wild How good would that feel?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Luck when you're at your rooftop brunch on the palm
jamiro oh yeah, over looking the old Arabian potential Anyway,
Football Auckland f C. On tomorrow we're heading along to
the game we had Ali Williams and yesterday. If you
haven't listened to that, I thoroughly recommend.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
That you do. But classic this is this is very football.
There's an Auckland f C fan group.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Who are going to protest the club's owner at their
inaugural A League men's match tomorrow after the revelation that
he is a donor to US presidential candidate Donald Trump. Ah,
this team didn't exist until Bill Foley made it exist. Well,
now you're going to complain about him. They were saying
that they Auckland football fans deserve to have a team
(20:54):
without having to deal with the political blah blah blah
blahlah blah.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You don't deserve shit, you'd know, but he deserves anything.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Just didn't exist until he was like, yes, sweet, I'm
going to make it happen, and you're still not happy
with it.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I do wonder if this is like three people.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, it's three people that have got some spear time
between the kind of free Palestine situation and go on, hey,
let's see some be a big crowd deal. Let's go
along there. Yeah, I don't know what. What does it
matter that you support a Republican or a Democrat in America?
Who kids? Who is a fuck?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I couldn't give a ship if I couldn't give a
shit if he's bank rolling Seymour who wants to tear
the treaty up?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
It's it's kind of weird. You want to watch soccer
or not, it's weird. And where the money comes from?
And why have they given them fucking columnsches.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I don't know, and now we're talking about them on
this podcast. Fuck those guys done by the coming. Yeah,
don't put it coming. I'll buy you a bean, I'll
smash in your face. And I do want and I
do want to remind people that we are pro Trump
on this podcast because of when Leaky Joe so Sleepy
Joe took I don't know, there's been so many stories
(21:58):
about this since then, but anyway, he the story was
that he took the eighteenth NRL franchise off New Zealand
and gave it to Papua New Guinea as part of
like a keeping China out of the Pacific sort of
deal with Peter Velandi's yeah, And so we were like, oh,
Sleepy Joe, you're gonna take the eighteenth NRL franchise off
New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
We're on Trump.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Yeah, that's the only reason we are.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I mean, every other thing, any other value, Thomas trump
hairs is flawed.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
But but if he can get an NRAL team Church thing,
we'd be stoked with it. And he if he's had
any part in getting Auckland FC into Auckland, then you
should be stoked with it too.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
In fact, I'm getting on my phone. I'm doating twenty
bucks to Donald Trump's campaign and come and.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Protest this podcast. Oh that's a great marketing campaign. Protest
the podcast. We should come out storage pro Trump on
this podcast. Yesterday I told you about how we teamed
up with their mates at helen Stein's to present the
ACC's Best of twenty twenty four Warriors edition. We took
all of your votes. I forgot to write the names
of who won, and they're just some basic edm some
(22:58):
basic Edmond.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
That I left off my plate.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Best off field performance was, in fact Stacy Jones right
Durry in the coaches box.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
That was so good. He had a port Royal.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Out, yeah, allegedly.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And the best try of the year was Della Matene's
a Lesniak, the game winning try in Shawn Johnson's last game.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
It had to be just because of what it meant.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the best Warriors newcomer was tamed to a Pickie
for winning the actually for having a tremendous season, yeah,
but most memorably for winning that game against the Panthers.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I like the look of him here reminds me of
Brent Webb. Brett Webb. Yeah, like just a nuggety hot stepper,
difficult to tackle, not overly large, no, but dangerous attack.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah, gutsy, I wouldn't be able to lay a finger
on him.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Yeah, I measurement a touch field.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh my god, disaster. He looks like something at the headghog.
Yeah album.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Best moment of the season was Shawn Johnson setting up
that last try, last player of his career and four.
He has won two hundred dollars worth of Helenstein's vouchers
just for voting.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
So thank you very much to those who did tell you.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
What the sorry from trapping some great ketta Helenstein's. Now
they've got all the UFC yeahich as well, so you
can buy Edisana cat, you can play hook again hook
a gear. Got all the NFL gear as well. So
they seem to get a bit of Warriors gear in there.
You know, they're a partner of the Warriors, our partner
of the Yeah, they maybe need to get onto that.
That would be mean.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
All right, let's take one more quick break and we'll
come back with yours please.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yours please, brought you by Leader Home of the Top.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
We didn't feel like subjecting Ellie Williamston here. This yesterday,
so we've got a few to make up today. This
is the part of the show where you can get
involved with your feedback little microphone button bottom right hand
corner of your iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
When you do that, we'll play them out like this yours.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
Please, Hey boys, Stephen mcgoon here, just if it took
your advice on Tuesday on checking some money on in
the the bit of a safe bet for this test.
Then after a few few beverages, they're not old chucks
three hundred bucks on these counts and thought.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
No and ship because the altern up for three p.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Fifteen you have a quick look and the weather was
ship house.
Speaker 8 (25:04):
Aw weak, you're giving us.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Out tips, don't even check the fucking weather.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
I blame you, and I I blame fucking you.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
He copped a straight. There was me that I had
everyone to go in on it. And OK, you know what,
like I said earlier, still not a bad bet. But
three is a lot. Three is a lot. I mean
I'm talking I put twenty on like that's that's as
far as I go.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
We don't know this guy's financial position that that might
not be a lot to him.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yeah, true, although the fact that he was compelled to
send a voicemail and tell him to go fuck myself
tells me that three hundred dollars it's.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Quite a lot. But he didn't do it in the end,
So yeah, it wasn't a sad story, is it.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I don't know if he did or didn't do it. Yeah,
I think I feel like the vitriol in his voice
suggested he did.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Well, look, it's still not over.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
It's not over.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
It's not over. And I got a merely outside of
these voicemails. I got a lot of d ms last
night when they got rolled for forty six. I was
getting a lot of dms knowing fuck you, Glane, I
followed you and blah blah bah.
Speaker 8 (25:59):
So it's not over.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Jeez, there's no win for a Black Cats supporter.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's not over.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Where a historic bowling performance and you're getting dms telling
you to go fuck yourself?
Speaker 7 (26:08):
I know.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
This is why this is why we we are what
we are. This is why this is Black Cats fans.
That's why we get together in hard times.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, another caller here, yours please.
Speaker 9 (26:17):
Good lads. I was always very disappointed that none of
the ACC listeners managed to get the plunger on Merraydeck's head.
I thought that was a great competition and would love
to have seen that. So maybe we can relaunch that
competition with a fresh approach, and who is the next
ACC listener to pass on Verick Coley and the spirit
of Matt Heads stories today? I think that would be
(26:38):
a great competition. Hopefully on the pitch during this test
series one of the listeners gets on there and puts
on up as a league anyway, he up, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
It's going to be a little bit difficult. And then
a literal, literal pass on Coli. That's quite tough. This
one is done in a swimming pool.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, so so you'd need to get into the pool
with them.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Other concern I have can we be seen to be
encouraging people trying to weigh on Verrett Coli?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Yeah, it's not. It's not a great looker, is it.
I mean, in a court of Lord, it's hard to defend,
very very difficult to defend. I mean, admittedly I've been
urinated on a lot. I went to when I was
at boarding school with the communal showers. You always get
someone and the ideas. It was very dangerous because you'd
be washing, you'd wash you here probably once a week.
But as soon as you put the shampoo and you've
(27:27):
got the shampoo your here, you obviously you close your eyes.
You don't want shampoo's your eyes. And immediately you've got
blind spot left and right, and you're in a hot
shower and a communal and you wash it off and
you look up and these two dudes winging on side
of your leak. You're like, okay, yeah, formative, Yeah, they're
formative years. They were formative years. You're assuming they haven't
done anything to the shampoo as well? This is yeah,
(27:48):
I don't want to think about that. But also the
rat Colie out for a dak Willow rourk o them
and j Mury Joe jury like he's on leave at
the moment. He must be looking just for a little
bit of get his blood pumping, because he put the
meme out, the Tiger King meme of Carol Baskin and
her husband on the lead and puts Coley as their
(28:11):
husband dressed up as a tiger and O'Rourke as Carol
Baskin and immediately puts it up and just baits the
Indian fans and I was like, holy.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Shit, they haven't they haven't found it. They've been yet,
they haven't found it on Instagram. They did find it
o facy. They will Facebook. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just
having to look through.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
The facy and read it and X they'll get on it,
but they're not beginst to fens even now.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
And then they find it and it blows up.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
So it's quite of one of the things that just
blows up. Could like whenever yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I saw on Facebook, there's one guy's on there is like,
this is why New Zealand shouldn't be a test match nation,
a fucking disgrace and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Scotty keep that covering.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
I love everyone who comes on there and just puts
I did the popcorn emoji. Everyone's sitting there waiting for
someone to bite.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, go go fellas.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
I can't even remember what their voicemail is about. Another
one here yours please?
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Gooday fellows. Thanks for the steak dude chat. I'm getting
married in November.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Tips for surviving my stagdoo.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Anyway, ERU fucked you?
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Elaine Fu's south Gannabury.
Speaker 9 (29:21):
I'm luggy and I am See you later.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Tips for survival on your stare dooo pick good friends.
Yeah it's sort of too late now, Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
At October he's.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Going invites the invites around, aren't they.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I would say on the.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Day, people are looking for an excuse to really ratchet
up the torture on you. So they're looking for any
type of resistance, any type of attitude that you're going
to take. So give that earlier to reckon if you
If no, I would say, keep your head down, and
I would treat it as if And I've never done this,
but allegedly if you're going to take some sort of
(29:57):
psychedelic substance. When people report that they've had a bad trip,
it's because they fought against it. You need to lean
into it wholeheartedly. If you're resisting things, saying oh no,
I don't want to do that or I don't want
to do this, you're going.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
To have a bad time.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
You need to enthusiastically agree to every challenge, every risk,
every day that they make you do, because if they
get a hint that you don't want to do something,
then it's all on for young and old.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
You got to give them what they want. That's right
and even if they want you to react to being
hit by your one hundredth paintball in the back, have
it up a bit of screaming, but are yelling. They
want they want to see you suffer a little bit.
But you know, but don't don't resist it so far
that you know or whatever. You know, You've got to
play along. Yes, you also can't be nonchalant. Give them,
give them what they want, or the torture will not stop.
Or you can do what friend of mine, he did
(30:42):
the reverse stag where he got so fucked up so
quickly that he became the liability and he basically he
flipped it on us, and we're like, holy shit. He
jumped on a police car and it was five in
the afternoon. He was like he was grabbing the windscreen wipers,
and the two cops were like what the fuck, like sorry, sorry,
we're getting them off, and he's fucking throwing ship like,
oh my god. The rest of the party was us
(31:03):
trying to control this wild man.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Yeah, I know your option totally. We were like, whoa,
this is a new strategy. This is with this is
this is new territory.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
It's mutually assured destruction. Yeah, you just knew yourself. Yes,
and then everyone else is yeah, I like that, Yeah,
it was yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
And then he he like, we're at the pub, and
he filled up my hat with berman and then just
put my hat back on me. Ice included, and it
was just fun. I'm like, what the And I looked
over at one of the other grooms and I was like,
what the fuck you guys, I've never seen this before. Yeah,
and he wasn't bid by fucking eight o'clock.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
The other the other stag to advice I would give
you is, unless you're in your early to mid twenties,
it's going to be very tempting to play a full
round of golf.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Don't do nine tops. Honestly, six is the sweet spot. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I think we did six holes the last stag do
I did, and it was perfect. One before that, Chris
Key's stag Doo people put bricks in his golf bag
and we did nine. Gotta be honest, come six seven
o'clock at ninetyone was pretty tired. You don't want to
be too physical now, particularly once you're in your thirties.
And then the yes, Chris also at the paintball thing,
(32:14):
he ran through and made the mistake of getting to
the end because they made him run the gauntlet and
he goes, no one even hit me.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And we're like, oh, is that right?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
So there was a Mexican Gangland style execution of Chris
Key with the with the paintballs after that. And final
bit of advice, if you get the opportunity to just
dominate one of the challenges or something that happens in
your stag though, is going to set you up for
the rest of your day. Did run down there in
waymady and we had a closest to the pin with
dire consequences for the stack stag versus the field. Yes,
(32:46):
So he went first and he penned it to within
a foot of the hole nice and just won it.
And he stood at the pin watching everyone else shanks, slice,
hook everything, and he didn't say anything about that.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
But he you know, you got the vibe, yeah, quite confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Quiet confidence, and it just sent him in good stead
for the rest of the of the day. So hopefully
some of that advice advice is applicable. I like the
nuclear option and now they're call you here yours please.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Also, on another note, the other day, Meniah and mcconey.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
We're talking about the most famous name in New Zealand
and I'm putting a boom for Scott, Scott Dixon, McLaughlin,
Raised Robertson, Scott Sorenson, Barrett coogar Line, Scott Watson, Scotty Sumo, Stevenson,
Scott Styris, Scott Hamilton, Scott Curry and Scotty Morrison all
famous and great New Zealanders with the name Scott.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Really really strong name.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So we were talking about what is the most famous
or most powerful sporting name in New Zealand.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, that's not bad.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
So for example, Williams, Ali Williams, you got Sunny Bell,
you know Tim dani all these different.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Smiths, quite Conrad Smith, Scott, Yeah, relax on Scott Hamilton.
I mean, no disrespect to Scott Hamilton. Got to relax
on Scotty Morrison too, he's not much of a sports I.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Think it's all right footy player.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I don't think you've paid any great level. But yeah,
I think Scott's gotta be in there. It's between Scott,
Williams and Smith. Yeah, if we're going the greatest name,
there must be someone who's with the last name Scott
as well, all right, I think we got one more
more more call it yours please?
Speaker 8 (34:31):
Can? I?
Speaker 6 (34:31):
Fellas Andrew from Napes here. I'm just catching up on
a few old the agendas and the one on the
first of October is seeking suggestions for a trip, and
I was wondering if you consider doing like a top
gear green tour type tour, motorbikes or crappy old cars
(34:52):
and end up somewhere like Southeast Asia, like tie tech
boxing or something. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yep, there's a They do a great TikTok rally across
India which you can enter, which is from one coast
to the other coast of India and it's just like
fifty tiktoks.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I would love that.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
It looks amazing and you can well, I think it's
a it's a charity thing as well, so you're kind
of going in teams. I'd totally be into that.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
I think the suggestion was it's the export ultra Bergarden tour,
so I'm pretty sure we need to stay away from
automobiles probably and motorbikes if it's a berg So yeah, yeah,
I'm still a big fan of going to Texas and
go barbecuing Big Texas, like the Ultimate backyard Barbecue, go
to Texas Big Pit Barbecue.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I would love the Export Ultra Bergarden Grand Tour. I
just want to do something like that, just one of those.
You start here, get here however you can.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Yeah, like the Gumbell Rally used to be all that
deck are London are maybe yeah, across Australia would be good.
The Nullier Board, Yeah, oh we could play. We could
play the Nulliboard golf course, longest golf course in the world.
It stretches the entirety of the nullerblear eighteen holes, each
of them is like it must be like one hundred
(36:13):
and something kon what through five thousand?
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah, five six thousand, I think.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yeah, No, I have thought about that and I would
love to. That's a great point you raised about the
export part of it. Yeah, we probably can't be.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
No alcohol and driving is not that's.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Right, it can't be in character we had someone driving
us or maybe this is something for another time, but yeah,
the gumble Rally would be fucking right up.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Malee.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Great, Just one last caller here for a Friday yourles please.
Speaker 8 (36:43):
Chilane and I how are we? Hey?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Thanks?
Speaker 8 (36:46):
Just sitting here pondering this whole Kessui celebrity death match?
Is that full cock fight rules? Because if it is
tuning the weapons that you strapped to your feet, it's
going to be vital. I know that with men will
just want to slap a couple of machidies here. But
I think there could be could be a mistake. I
think a couple of flitting nice would go a bit better.
(37:08):
So yeah, what what weapon would you choose?
Speaker 4 (37:13):
So I think where is he? Is he calling from
some sort of avery?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, maybe he's got a bird century down the Caroline
Bay Avery there.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Either that or has just got like bird song on
a CD that he's playing in the background.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I wonder if and cock fighting they they tie the
blades to the rooster's feet. Yes, because they don't have hands. Yeah,
so could I have my weapons and my hands?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
I yeah, I was trying to think about this, and
it's like, no, first of all, there's no weapons. This
is hand to hand, claw to claw. But if there was,
if there was weapons, yeah, you could hold them because
you're a human, You've got hands.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
And it's game over.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah, And that kesuiri has just got them on its
dumb ass clause.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
So at that point, I'm going some sort of long
samurai katana, like a very long one.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Huh, like a batar, like a big long yeah, yeah,
oisted on a batar.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, that's or I would go like the there's sort
of like those long blades Japanese dudes that have them.
It's basically a pole blade, so you like it's a spear,
but it's got a sword essentially on the end of it.
I'm lapping that thing's head off from across the cage.
You got one shot, nah, got a couple got a
long pole for its head if you miss it. Yeah,
(38:29):
And it's coming at you and.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
It's got that it closes the distance.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
Ye yeah, it's got blades on it and it just comes. Well.
Speaker 9 (38:35):
Then in that.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Instance, I would probably go sort of some sort of
two handed sword, just full full, like no a one sword,
two hands, big Gold's vyhander or something like that, where
I have got enough momentum behind it that there's nothing
you can do to stop me, and I can swing
at the body at that point because you could probably
cut a cassier in half of the big enough sword.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Yeah true. Now I think i'd be too one sided
if you could, if you're carrying a whip. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
And the thing about tying stuff to my feet is
my hamstrings are so short that I'm not kicking it
at all.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
So you're gonna have to lie on your back and
just do the bicycle, ain't you.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yeah, it's just going to hinder me. I've now just
got two big, long hunks of metal hanging off my feet.
I wasn't gonna kick it anyway.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
You know, or just maybe strap a knife to the
middle of your head and just go ahead.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
But with you, yeah, give me a fifth weapon, you reckon.
They've got the hands, the legs. It's going to try
and rip my guts out. So I don't know, So
I put play Darmers a whole different discussion. I think
that's not a weapon. Long sword, long sword, I think
i'd go. But yeah, adding something to my feet's not
going to help me.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
It's only going to hinder me. All right, that'll do
us for today. Watch out on this feed.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Later on today we'll have the sports book with the
tarb We're making our Ka millions.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
No Everes Everest sorry, the Everest Big Mega Millions richest
race in Australasia. Is tomorrow and your chance to win
ten million bucks and it's free.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
It's free entry, and chances are since I misnamed it,
I'm probably not gonna win it, but we're gonna have
a crack So watch out for that podcast later on
on this feed. Otherwise, we will see you on Monday
for another episode of Dear Gender Podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
You've been listening to The ACC's a gender podcast brought
to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and
follow on iHeartRadio of you get your podcasts
Life in the Export being Gauden Studio and brought to
you was always by Export Ultra. This is the Agenda
Podcast for Friday, the eighteenth of October.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting nonsense and clap trap,
brought to you by Export Ultra.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
And a big Happy Friday to one half of the
Grotten Jerry Show. This morning, and actually line Kate Britain
from out of the office was saying that they should
be calling the Hierarchy Breakfast at the moment.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
It should be Hierarchy Breakfast.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
With an agenda, Yes, because it's just us feeling it. Yeah.
I spat roast a week on a Monday and a
Fridays spit. Yeah, I spat. I spat thet No the
Jerry Show yea or the Hidarcky Breakfast or whatever it is.
Have you seen the branding they've done for poor Jeremy.
It's like Jimmie Wells and Friends. And it's the saddest
(00:50):
photo of him on his own.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
There's no and it's so stark because he only takes
up a quarter of the picture. Yeah, and the rest
is just empty grayness.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
This morning it was America, a bit, a bit of
America's Cup. Chat around. You know, they're not going to
do the racing here, so if we do win the Cup,
we need to make it work harder for Kiwis. So
we turned about talked about maybe taking on the road
and using it twenty first to skull out of instead
of a yard glass. Oh yeah, yeah, potentially drawing some
holes in it and turning it into a shisha pipe.
(01:21):
Oh yeah, you bong, that's perfect for it. Yeah, turning
it into a bong. Some suggestions around maybe just giving
it to some more say sorry, oh yeah, for crashing
and soiling their pristine beaches. Yeah. So we talked a
bit about that, talked a bit about a bit of
yesterday afternoon. I think you had left work, but I
was in the toilet and someone came in at two
(01:44):
pm and was vigorously brushing their teeth and the toilets.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
And it raised alarm bells for me because we discussed
what would require that a big lunch and a meeting
afterwards to hide some evidence.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yes, yeah, okay, that's exactly what it would have been.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
My mind also went because it was in the public toilet,
one that has renowned for hookups yepday afternoon. Yeah, potentially
getting ready for the hook up in the toilet or
post getting rid of any kind of DNA.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Post I reckon. Yeah. Otherwise, very considerate from that person
to bus your teeth.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Beforehand, anyway, it was renowned to it, and then next
to that person after they actually after they finished brushing
the teeth, I burst out to see who it was.
Did them, No, they scuttled into the disabled So it
kind of makes sense.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I'm gonna, yeah, I reckon that was definitely a hook up.
They were trying to avoid someone saying that they had
been out there hooking up. Yeah, hook up, all pass up? Yes, right, well,
fuck up. That's my rule. That's that's how I live
my life. You got three options the way I said,
I was gonna that's the way I live my life.
(02:49):
I live my life, man, And if I can't, if
it's none of us. But that's that's the only really
people I see people in my life hog up, pass up,
or fuck up. No, I don't stand by any of
the things that I say on this podcast at all.
I was gonna say, I've got a thing on if
I'm in the toilets at work or any like public
toilets and I'm in the stall and I hear someone
(03:14):
else is about to leave the stall.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I'll let them go before I come out.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
You don't want to face them.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I don't want to face them. And it's more of
a courtesy thing out of I don't want them to
have to face me because someone was in there this morning.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I don't know why this always starts a toilet chat,
but it does.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Just heavy, heavy breathing.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And I sometimes you've got to breathe through it. It's like,
you know, and the basics of childbirth is controlling your breathing.
And it says sometimes when I go to Twitter, it
almost feels like I'm giving birth to something.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, So this bloke was really getting into his breath
work this morning.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Is like just concentrating from the third staying alive, probably yeah,
probably not pushing too hard.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
You know, he's probably concentrating on that.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You don't want to, yeah, because you don't want to.
You don't want to blow anything out there.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
No, And so I was just thinking, like I put
myself in his shoes, and I was like, well, he's
not going to want me to look him in the.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Eye after because he'd be aware that I hope he's
aware that.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
He was, that he could hear you breathing through it,
that I could hear him breathing through it.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yes, yeah, And so I'm like, he doesn't. We don't
want to lock eyes after that. So I will generally
if I, you know, if I'm about to leave, I'll
wait and let them clear out.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It's very courteous of you, Yeah, very courteous.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And subsequently it annoys me when I'm clearly about to
head out and then someone else burst out of the
thing as well. Really, we're going to do this because
if we know each other now, I've got to be like,
oh yeah, what about when you were just ripping ass
this morning?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well that's famously every morning my Bell's SYNCD with Great
New Zealander David Fanak.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
And he was my dumb buddy for about eighteen months
when he was on Breakfast and Flavor and I was
working at ZI him who were dumb buddies, and we've
been we've knowing each other's dumb buddies ever since. So
he came in for Stacey Morrison function and I was
like dumb buddy, and we embraced like old friends.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And did you guys have a yarn or you're dumbing?
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
It got to the point where we were so comfortable
we're just chat Yeah, and we completely ignored the fact
that we were both doing terrible things to the porcelain
and occasionally occasionally someone would get something extra and you
go jeezy, sorry, sorry, Laney, you big night last night.
But it got to the point where, yeah, every must
have been it must have been the eight o'clock hour
(05:32):
or something around there was a bit of a break
and Dave could take five and it aligned with my
morning coffee and need to go anyway, should get off
the toilet chat because we this morning we did chat
about fucking with Mike Hosking and we rang Matt Heath
live on here and put him on the spot around
is he willing to be he owes us he's left
(05:54):
Jerry and the Lurch. He owes the show to do something.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
There's a new segment on the Haidak Your Breakfast with
an agenda as we because we have a mole on
the inside. We've got Matt Heath. Yeah, we want to
start getting him to Jerry wants to call it if
with m h yes, which could either stand for fuck
with Mike Casking or fuck with Mett Heath, but because
we've got a mole on the inside, because I think
the first one that was brought up that he has
(06:19):
his own Dyson vacuum winner and he will vacuum the
studio every day when he gets in there.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
So it was like, well, remove the filter, remove the filters.
That's so annoying because or block the filter because then
it goes starts and it stops fuxs me off so much.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Or run the battery down. Yep, that'll be another one.
So you talk to Heath this morning. Yes, we talked
to Heath.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
And I look if thing with imh is quite good
because we can if we get in trouble, we can
deny and say it's mad Heath when really it's it's Husking. No,
we talked to him and we've we've discussed quite a
few things. He he brought up a point because I
was talking extreme things like putting greenlit muscles and the
roof ceiling tiles and stuff like that. He goes, that's
going to really affect me as well, becau as he
uses the studio. So we'll like fair enough, we'll start
(07:02):
small and we suggested popping the keys of off his
keyboard and swapping around a couple of hours. Yep, great, Initially,
that'll be quite good, potentially switching around reversing his mouse button,
which is quite frustrating. Then we got onto something quite
good because Matt evison In's side, he's got a printer
right next to him, does it? Yes, and he prints
off everything and reads it off a piece of paper. Now,
(07:24):
we don't want to fuck with him, so he can't print.
But what would love to do is like just load
it with yellow ink, like just get rid of the
magenta everything else and just load it with one color
so it only comes out purple or yellow or red.
And he can't do anything about it because he can
still do his job. And so Matt. So Matt's in,
(07:45):
He's in. He's in for the first problem, iffing with
the EMH first problem.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Heath was in on the podcast earlier this week. For
anyone who was able to watch the video portion of
the podcast, you will notice he spent the entire podcast
trying to peer his phone to his Apple Watch.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I don't know, But I don't know if he's got
the technical know how to be able to swap the
filters out.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh, I know, we'll do that. We just need we
just we just needed that bit of intel from him
that that's our inside, inside kind of knowledge. We've we've
already talked about how we're going to get in there.
It's like Ocean's eleven. We're putting a team together and
I'll discuss it with you after the show around how
we're going to do it, because it needs to be
an operation in which there needs to be a false
(08:27):
flag somewhere on the floor and we need to go
in there so to actually do the do the bits
and pieces, because I think there's always someone in that
production area outside Hosking, so we need a distraction. I
think I know how I Controjanhorse my way in there. Yeah,
there's the studio, the TV studio right next door that
we go to quite often.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yes, I've got a more I've got a more direct approach.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Though.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I dress up as a cleaner and walk straight in there.
I'm a minority. He's already going to assume I'm part
of the cleaning staff.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I reckon I could waltz straight up in there with
a little bit of high vers and a cleaning uniform.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
That's a great idea, I reckon.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I could walk straight in there and be like, hey, look,
I've come to empty the bins or something. Yeah, and
someone mentioned that the printer was out of it, so
I'm because then he knows I just come in to
clean empty the bins.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
And I think at nighttime because Marcus Slash does the
night show from Luff for Luff, so there's only a
young producer sitting there getting a phone call. So the
ink here.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
No.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So yeah, when you si we've got the team together,
the team is assembled. I think we're meeting lunchtime today
over a yamha at an undisclosed location to work out
phase two of iffing with him. H Okay, that's that's
that's the next next week. When you're on next week,
you can just It's like this is like passing the
Betton over a pick for that's all we talked about.
(09:45):
You guys, carry on next week?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yes, on next week?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
No, but who is I think he's only on from Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, I'll find out on Sunday night.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
But same.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I like the I'm picturing it like Ocean's eleven.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I can here the little jazz music in the background,
and you know how the you know, the characters are
walking past each other and handing off brown paper beds.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
And someone leaning over the sub editor and the Herald
just distracting them with something.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Meanwhile, I walk past in a fake beard on top
of my real beard.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah, full like Team America, really bad like and it's
just all your guys pubs like Jeremy Beadle. Do you
remember Beatles About? Oh my god, people who remember Beatles About.
It was a prank show with Jeremy Beadle, who was
this very strange English presenter and they'd always dread him
(10:33):
up as a cleaner and he'd have a terrible beard
and sunglasses. It was Team America esk and he always
appeared and that, but the disguise was so bad that
when the person saw him they go, ah, fuck Beatles
About Beetle. It's old Beatles old Jeremy Beadle.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Think you show me this? Yeah, anyway, I think it's
a great idea.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
We'll keep going and there's actually at the end of
the show, there'll be We've got plenty of yours pleased
to get through at the end of the show. One
of them is about a similar sort of thing, so
we'll pick up on that as well. Black Caps, we
need to talk about it. Let's take a quick break.
Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
This is a tease. This will keep you around. We're
going to talk about the black Caps.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Just incredible what happened over and we're gonna break it
down right after this break. India all out for forty
six was the headline this morning.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Oh so good to watch and so disappointing for the
ACC team who were doing Game of two Halves because
India were like thirty eight eight at eight thirty last night.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
So hopefully people can go back and watch Game of
two Halves because at the same time we were tearing
India a new one. Yeah on skysport one. Is that
why the rating sucks? Knock on the shit, Ah, it was.
It was something else to behold because they were so
reckless India, but it was so reckless and then but
(11:54):
awesome they got I mean unbelievable they got out for
forty six. But I still this is a Black Kept
fan issue. I still couldn't enjoy the fact we rolled
India for a record low total in India. I still
couldn't enjoy it because I was terrified about us batting
next and facing Seraj and Boomera and going ah fuck
and balls deep and Ashwen I was like fuck, and
(12:18):
so I had immediately got him out for forty six.
I immediately had anxiety about us bating.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I think this all the time, man, when we have
an awesome bowling attack, just like it's the same pitch,
We're about to walk back out onto the same pitch,
Why won't it do the same thing to us? And
then we didn't and it didn't, so one for three.
I think it stumps on day two because the first
day was a washout. The weird thing about it, and
this just shows how much India controlled world cricket is.
(12:43):
This morning, I went to watch the highlights and I
couldn't find all of the highlights packages were geo blocked
except for highlights of Ashwin bowling out Conway and like
all of the Indian wickets were on there, but there
was nothing about how they got fucked up for forty six. Ridiculous.
Unfortunately for US, we thirty six is still our low scorer. Yeah,
(13:05):
is that the all time low.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Score is lower than that, like Zimbabwe or something and
there's a shocker out there, late nineties.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
But yeah, so this is huge and again at the
end of the show, we're going to get to the
yours pleases.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
There is a little bit of a trio for us.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh my chip. Yeah, I'm still in on India though,
all that betting. Yeah, I'm like, this is like happiness insurance. Sure,
because if we win, this is gonna be amazing, but
a happiness insurance for me. Batting last on any Indian pitch, yeah,
is a challenge. So I mean this is this is
the paranoid Black Caps fan of me talking. We could
(13:44):
get rolled for sixty in the second innings. You know
what I mean. That's that there is a high. If
they can get rolled for forty six, we can get
rolled for fifty.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
That's what my paranoid is. We're going to get a
lead of three hundred at least and then I'll be
more comfortable and look not even then take my money.
It's a winning and we have only ever had one
Tears victory in India and it was the second Test
of a series in which they pumped us. In the
first Test, they rested loads of players, hardly got ten wickets,
but it was so.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Long ago, but I don't remember it.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
ID take my money. I don't care. It's happening. It's insurance.
And I know we're going to get some shit because
I tipped out India at two to eighty to win
in New Zealand at fourteen to win. And if you
got on that, fucking good on you. Yeah, well done.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
What if you had to pick what happened? What happened?
Like you said, they're reckless?
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Look we I mean there was a bit of movement.
There was a bit of se movement, but not crazy
like it was a bit. The ground was a bit wet,
the ball was doing a bit, but if you saw
New Zealand bat, it was doing a bit. But we
weren't playing out rageous rishant pants shots were fucking outrageous,
like he got dropped, got dropped by Blundell, absolute sitter,
(14:52):
but he was swinging at everything wide swinging. That's how
they got everyone there was half of them were just
reckless shots. WHI studn't say they're not bad against us.
They had to get them out.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah that's right.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
But it seemed a bit kereless from India the way
they batted. And I don't know if that's the way
they bad against everyone or were they just treading us
with disregard.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's what I'm wondering. Yes, did they sort of just
waltz into this one?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And yeah and good on met Henry five wickets, got
one hundred Test wickets. Now he bowled really he bowled
really well. You could tell willow Rock was just trying
to bowl as fucking fast as possible, which good, but
that's what he's supposed to do.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
That's what the young follow on the team is supposed
to do.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
But the odd one was like I think he bowled
won at second slipped one stage. He was like firing everywhere,
but he was hurrying them up. He was bowling in
the low one forties. But when met Henry come on,
you know how you met Henry on a green seamen
like Matt Henry at Hagley is like, it's a beauty
to watch because it's swinging. It's seeming that was him,
that was him last night. It was beautiful to watch.
(15:47):
Is it just that they prepared the wrong pitch? They
gave us our own pitch? Well, he said the Indian
captain has said, I completely misread the pitch and it
does look like a road. Yeah, look at it and go,
that's a road. That's why bat first put it total on.
But maybe because of the rain and it's been under covers.
It was undercovers all the day before, yeah, and and
all that morning and an hour before it started, right,
(16:09):
So obviously it had a bit of juice in it
and that's what caused a few issues.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But it is going to dry out and we're going
to get spun to bits later on.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
That's that's again, that is whatever. That's a black Cat
fan right there. You've summed it up and won and
I fucking ate it. It's the cat's killing us. But
that's why we love it. That's why we love it.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, so we're in the driver's seat well and truly
one hundred and eighty for three. We're not going to
dish add any tips off the back of.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That, no, but my new India are paying like six
bucks away.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
And just bear in mind if you're gambling on this,
and look, there's plenty of there's plenty of cricket left
in clay. There is plenty of cricket, and there's wild,
wild circumstances. Do one last final thought on this whenever
there's a rain delay. We as New Zealanders, I'm not
saying the black cast, but as key as we love
to just properly lean into the purse on a rain delay.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
You don't you reckon? There was any element of that,
and maybe that actually gave us a bit of extra
juice on the So do you think do you think
potentially they're like, this test match is going to be
rained off.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
It's just let's just hurt the person and the next other.
Oh god, oh god. And then sometimes you have your
best performances on off the back foot.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
True.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Actually, because you've got a point to prove, you almost
try a bit harder because you don't want to be
exposed as fuck. They look hungover?
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Then there's the other thing of just going into survival
mode and being like, right, we just have to get
this done. I'm so dusty, I've just got to go.
And then you're not overthinking, you're not in your own head,
just trying to survive.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
There is a great where they're staying is I think
it's the Ritz Bangalore is where they usually stay. There
is a great, ironically craft beer bar right next door
on the rooftop of a because that's where we stayed
when we went to the or work no play Bangalore trip.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Was this where met heath Weed on Verrett Koli.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yes, yeah, so next door right next door is a
is a big craft beer bar. But it's like American
style with wings and beers, and so I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Oh mate, if I'm will ow' rourke and I see
sort of some of the older fellas and the team
knocking the head off, you know, a beer or two,
i'd lose the plot, you lose the plenty. I suppose
that's why I'm not in the Black Cats that you belong. Yeah,
water finds its level, doesn't it. So yeah black Caps
one three, stump stay two. It'll pick back up again
(18:18):
five o'clock this afternoon, which actually brilliant.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Yeah. I might even start earlier, but doubt it because
there is rain around both all five days predicted to
have a little bit of rain, so there's gonna it's
going to be on and off a little bit. But
it's so far I don't think. Well they'll need five
days anyway, No, no, not when they get bold out
for forty six, do you reckon?
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Sorry?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
I know we need to get off the black Caps here,
but do you reckon at.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Any point the black Caps started looking at it and going,
if we can get them for thirty five, that would
absolve so many of us since because.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You know, because they were almost looking like that. Yeah,
they were in trouble. Yeah hey, And quickly on cricket,
is the T twenty Women's World Cup as on all
over the show because Australia had been knocked out by
South Africa. Yes, so the two hot hot favorites England
and Australia are gone and hews you ended playing West
Indies to then place South Africa in the final. It
(19:12):
couldn't have gone any better, two teams of which they've
beaten regularly, Yes, and competed with regularly. Because I would
have if it was New Zealand Australia final, I hate
to say it, we would have wouldn't have won.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That because the stat going into that was that they
hadn't won a T twenty in the calendar year twenty
twenty four. They'd lost ten in a row and those
were against Australia and England.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
With yes, so this is quick with that perfectly. So
that's all happening this weekend as well, and I.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Don't want to downplay the quality of the white ferns,
but it does have touch of a touch of the
Stephen Bradburys about it, who was the Australian ice skatered
to where everyone else fell over and he just went
through and one.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Day take it though he's in a Winter Olympic gold medalist.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
So oh god, I hope they managed to win this
one because also you want to women in Dubai no
better place to bloody celebrate.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Absolutely and what a great what a great comeback story
as well, losing ten row and then winning a.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Wild How good would that feel?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Luck when you're at your rooftop brunch on the palm
jamiro oh yeah, over looking the old Arabian potential Anyway,
Football Auckland f C. On tomorrow we're heading along to
the game we had Ali Williams and yesterday. If you
haven't listened to that, I thoroughly recommend.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
That you do. But classic this is this is very football.
There's an Auckland f C fan group.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Who are going to protest the club's owner at their
inaugural A League men's match tomorrow after the revelation that
he is a donor to US presidential candidate Donald Trump. Ah,
this team didn't exist until Bill Foley made it exist. Well,
now you're going to complain about him. They were saying
that they Auckland football fans deserve to have a team
(20:54):
without having to deal with the political blah blah blah
blahlah blah.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You don't deserve shit, you'd know, but he deserves anything.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Just didn't exist until he was like, yes, sweet, I'm
going to make it happen, and you're still not happy
with it.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I do wonder if this is like three people.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, it's three people that have got some spear time
between the kind of free Palestine situation and go on, hey,
let's see some be a big crowd deal. Let's go
along there. Yeah, I don't know what. What does it
matter that you support a Republican or a Democrat in America?
Who kids? Who is a fuck?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I couldn't give a ship if I couldn't give a
shit if he's bank rolling Seymour who wants to tear
the treaty up?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
It's it's kind of weird. You want to watch soccer
or not, it's weird. And where the money comes from?
And why have they given them fucking columnsches.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I don't know, and now we're talking about them on
this podcast. Fuck those guys done by the coming. Yeah,
don't put it coming. I'll buy you a bean, I'll
smash in your face. And I do want and I
do want to remind people that we are pro Trump
on this podcast because of when Leaky Joe so Sleepy
Joe took I don't know, there's been so many stories
(21:58):
about this since then, but anyway, he the story was
that he took the eighteenth NRL franchise off New Zealand
and gave it to Papua New Guinea as part of
like a keeping China out of the Pacific sort of
deal with Peter Velandi's yeah, And so we were like, oh,
Sleepy Joe, you're gonna take the eighteenth NRL franchise off
New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
We're on Trump.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Yeah, that's the only reason we are.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I mean, every other thing, any other value, Thomas trump
hairs is flawed.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
But but if he can get an NRAL team Church thing,
we'd be stoked with it. And he if he's had
any part in getting Auckland FC into Auckland, then you
should be stoked with it too.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
In fact, I'm getting on my phone. I'm doating twenty
bucks to Donald Trump's campaign and come and.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Protest this podcast. Oh that's a great marketing campaign. Protest
the podcast. We should come out storage pro Trump on
this podcast. Yesterday I told you about how we teamed
up with their mates at helen Stein's to present the
ACC's Best of twenty twenty four Warriors edition. We took
all of your votes. I forgot to write the names
of who won, and they're just some basic edm some
(22:58):
basic Edmond.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
That I left off my plate.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Best off field performance was, in fact Stacy Jones right
Durry in the coaches box.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
That was so good. He had a port Royal.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Out, yeah, allegedly.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And the best try of the year was Della Matene's
a Lesniak, the game winning try in Shawn Johnson's last game.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
It had to be just because of what it meant.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the best Warriors newcomer was tamed to a Pickie
for winning the actually for having a tremendous season, yeah,
but most memorably for winning that game against the Panthers.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I like the look of him here reminds me of
Brent Webb. Brett Webb. Yeah, like just a nuggety hot stepper,
difficult to tackle, not overly large, no, but dangerous attack.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah, gutsy, I wouldn't be able to lay a finger
on him.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Yeah, I measurement a touch field.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Oh my god, disaster. He looks like something at the headghog.
Yeah album.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Best moment of the season was Shawn Johnson setting up
that last try, last player of his career and four.
He has won two hundred dollars worth of Helenstein's vouchers
just for voting.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
So thank you very much to those who did tell you.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
What the sorry from trapping some great ketta Helenstein's. Now
they've got all the UFC yeahich as well, so you
can buy Edisana cat, you can play hook again hook
a gear. Got all the NFL gear as well. So
they seem to get a bit of Warriors gear in there.
You know, they're a partner of the Warriors, our partner
of the Yeah, they maybe need to get onto that.
That would be mean.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
All right, let's take one more quick break and we'll
come back with yours please.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yours please, brought you by Leader Home of the Top.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
We didn't feel like subjecting Ellie Williamston here. This yesterday,
so we've got a few to make up today. This
is the part of the show where you can get
involved with your feedback little microphone button bottom right hand
corner of your iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
When you do that, we'll play them out like this yours.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
Please, Hey boys, Stephen mcgoon here, just if it took
your advice on Tuesday on checking some money on in
the the bit of a safe bet for this test.
Then after a few few beverages, they're not old chucks
three hundred bucks on these counts and thought.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
No and ship because the altern up for three p.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Fifteen you have a quick look and the weather was
ship house.
Speaker 8 (25:04):
Aw weak, you're giving us.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Out tips, don't even check the fucking weather.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
I blame you, and I I blame fucking you.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
He copped a straight. There was me that I had
everyone to go in on it. And OK, you know what,
like I said earlier, still not a bad bet. But
three is a lot. Three is a lot. I mean
I'm talking I put twenty on like that's that's as
far as I go.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
We don't know this guy's financial position that that might
not be a lot to him.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yeah, true, although the fact that he was compelled to
send a voicemail and tell him to go fuck myself
tells me that three hundred dollars it's.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Quite a lot. But he didn't do it in the end,
So yeah, it wasn't a sad story, is it.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I don't know if he did or didn't do it. Yeah,
I think I feel like the vitriol in his voice
suggested he did.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Well, look, it's still not over.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
It's not over.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
It's not over. And I got a merely outside of
these voicemails. I got a lot of d ms last
night when they got rolled for forty six. I was
getting a lot of dms knowing fuck you, Glane, I
followed you and blah blah bah.
Speaker 8 (25:59):
So it's not over.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Jeez, there's no win for a Black Cats supporter.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's not over.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Where a historic bowling performance and you're getting dms telling
you to go fuck yourself?
Speaker 7 (26:08):
I know.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
This is why this is why we we are what
we are. This is why this is Black Cats fans.
That's why we get together in hard times.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, another caller here, yours please.
Speaker 9 (26:17):
Good lads. I was always very disappointed that none of
the ACC listeners managed to get the plunger on Merraydeck's head.
I thought that was a great competition and would love
to have seen that. So maybe we can relaunch that
competition with a fresh approach, and who is the next
ACC listener to pass on Verick Coley and the spirit
of Matt Heads stories today? I think that would be
(26:38):
a great competition. Hopefully on the pitch during this test
series one of the listeners gets on there and puts
on up as a league anyway, he up, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
It's going to be a little bit difficult. And then
a literal, literal pass on Coli. That's quite tough. This
one is done in a swimming pool.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, so so you'd need to get into the pool
with them.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Other concern I have can we be seen to be
encouraging people trying to weigh on Verrett Coli?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Yeah, it's not. It's not a great looker, is it.
I mean, in a court of Lord, it's hard to defend,
very very difficult to defend. I mean, admittedly I've been
urinated on a lot. I went to when I was
at boarding school with the communal showers. You always get
someone and the ideas. It was very dangerous because you'd
be washing, you'd wash you here probably once a week.
But as soon as you put the shampoo and you've
(27:27):
got the shampoo your here, you obviously you close your eyes.
You don't want shampoo's your eyes. And immediately you've got
blind spot left and right, and you're in a hot
shower and a communal and you wash it off and
you look up and these two dudes winging on side
of your leak. You're like, okay, yeah, formative, Yeah, they're
formative years. They were formative years. You're assuming they haven't
done anything to the shampoo as well? This is yeah,
(27:48):
I don't want to think about that. But also the
rat Colie out for a dak Willow rourk o them
and j Mury Joe jury like he's on leave at
the moment. He must be looking just for a little
bit of get his blood pumping, because he put the
meme out, the Tiger King meme of Carol Baskin and
her husband on the lead and puts Coley as their
(28:11):
husband dressed up as a tiger and O'Rourke as Carol
Baskin and immediately puts it up and just baits the
Indian fans and I was like, holy.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Shit, they haven't they haven't found it. They've been yet,
they haven't found it on Instagram. They did find it
o facy. They will Facebook. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just
having to look through.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
The facy and read it and X they'll get on it,
but they're not beginst to fens even now.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
And then they find it and it blows up.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
So it's quite of one of the things that just
blows up. Could like whenever yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I saw on Facebook, there's one guy's on there is like,
this is why New Zealand shouldn't be a test match nation,
a fucking disgrace and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Scotty keep that covering.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
I love everyone who comes on there and just puts
I did the popcorn emoji. Everyone's sitting there waiting for
someone to bite.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, go go fellas.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
I can't even remember what their voicemail is about. Another
one here yours please?
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Gooday fellows. Thanks for the steak dude chat. I'm getting
married in November.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Tips for surviving my stagdoo.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Anyway, ERU fucked you?
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Elaine Fu's south Gannabury.
Speaker 9 (29:21):
I'm luggy and I am See you later.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Tips for survival on your stare dooo pick good friends.
Yeah it's sort of too late now, Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
At October he's.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Going invites the invites around, aren't they.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I would say on the.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Day, people are looking for an excuse to really ratchet
up the torture on you. So they're looking for any
type of resistance, any type of attitude that you're going
to take. So give that earlier to reckon if you
If no, I would say, keep your head down, and
I would treat it as if And I've never done this,
but allegedly if you're going to take some sort of
(29:57):
psychedelic substance. When people report that they've had a bad trip,
it's because they fought against it. You need to lean
into it wholeheartedly. If you're resisting things, saying oh no,
I don't want to do that or I don't want
to do this, you're going.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
To have a bad time.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
You need to enthusiastically agree to every challenge, every risk,
every day that they make you do, because if they
get a hint that you don't want to do something,
then it's all on for young and old.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
You got to give them what they want. That's right
and even if they want you to react to being
hit by your one hundredth paintball in the back, have
it up a bit of screaming, but are yelling. They
want they want to see you suffer a little bit.
But you know, but don't don't resist it so far
that you know or whatever. You know, You've got to
play along. Yes, you also can't be nonchalant. Give them,
give them what they want, or the torture will not stop.
Or you can do what friend of mine, he did
(30:42):
the reverse stag where he got so fucked up so
quickly that he became the liability and he basically he
flipped it on us, and we're like, holy shit. He
jumped on a police car and it was five in
the afternoon. He was like he was grabbing the windscreen wipers,
and the two cops were like what the fuck, like sorry, sorry,
we're getting them off, and he's fucking throwing ship like,
oh my god. The rest of the party was us
(31:03):
trying to control this wild man.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Yeah, I know your option totally. We were like, whoa,
this is a new strategy. This is with this is
this is new territory.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
It's mutually assured destruction. Yeah, you just knew yourself. Yes,
and then everyone else is yeah, I like that, Yeah,
it was yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
And then he he like, we're at the pub, and
he filled up my hat with berman and then just
put my hat back on me. Ice included, and it
was just fun. I'm like, what the And I looked
over at one of the other grooms and I was like,
what the fuck you guys, I've never seen this before. Yeah,
and he wasn't bid by fucking eight o'clock.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
The other the other stag to advice I would give
you is, unless you're in your early to mid twenties,
it's going to be very tempting to play a full
round of golf.
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Don't do nine tops. Honestly, six is the sweet spot. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I think we did six holes the last stag do
I did, and it was perfect. One before that, Chris
Key's stag Doo people put bricks in his golf bag
and we did nine. Gotta be honest, come six seven
o'clock at ninetyone was pretty tired. You don't want to
be too physical now, particularly once you're in your thirties.
And then the yes, Chris also at the paintball thing,
(32:14):
he ran through and made the mistake of getting to
the end because they made him run the gauntlet and
he goes, no one even hit me.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And we're like, oh, is that right?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
So there was a Mexican Gangland style execution of Chris
Key with the with the paintballs after that. And final
bit of advice, if you get the opportunity to just
dominate one of the challenges or something that happens in
your stag though, is going to set you up for
the rest of your day. Did run down there in
waymady and we had a closest to the pin with
dire consequences for the stack stag versus the field. Yes,
(32:46):
So he went first and he penned it to within
a foot of the hole nice and just won it.
And he stood at the pin watching everyone else shanks, slice,
hook everything, and he didn't say anything about that.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
But he you know, you got the vibe, yeah, quite confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Quiet confidence, and it just sent him in good stead
for the rest of the of the day. So hopefully
some of that advice advice is applicable. I like the
nuclear option and now they're call you here yours please.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Also, on another note, the other day, Meniah and mcconey.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
We're talking about the most famous name in New Zealand
and I'm putting a boom for Scott, Scott Dixon, McLaughlin,
Raised Robertson, Scott Sorenson, Barrett coogar Line, Scott Watson, Scotty Sumo, Stevenson,
Scott Styris, Scott Hamilton, Scott Curry and Scotty Morrison all
famous and great New Zealanders with the name Scott.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Really really strong name.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
So we were talking about what is the most famous
or most powerful sporting name in New Zealand.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Yeah, that's not bad.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
So for example, Williams, Ali Williams, you got Sunny Bell,
you know Tim dani all these different.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Smiths, quite Conrad Smith, Scott, Yeah, relax on Scott Hamilton.
I mean, no disrespect to Scott Hamilton. Got to relax
on Scotty Morrison too, he's not much of a sports I.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Think it's all right footy player.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I don't think you've paid any great level. But yeah,
I think Scott's gotta be in there. It's between Scott,
Williams and Smith. Yeah, if we're going the greatest name,
there must be someone who's with the last name Scott
as well, all right, I think we got one more
more more call it yours please?
Speaker 8 (34:31):
Can? I?
Speaker 6 (34:31):
Fellas Andrew from Napes here. I'm just catching up on
a few old the agendas and the one on the
first of October is seeking suggestions for a trip, and
I was wondering if you consider doing like a top
gear green tour type tour, motorbikes or crappy old cars
(34:52):
and end up somewhere like Southeast Asia, like tie tech
boxing or something. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yep, there's a They do a great TikTok rally across
India which you can enter, which is from one coast
to the other coast of India and it's just like
fifty tiktoks.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I would love that.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
It looks amazing and you can well, I think it's
a it's a charity thing as well, so you're kind
of going in teams. I'd totally be into that.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
I think the suggestion was it's the export ultra Bergarden tour,
so I'm pretty sure we need to stay away from
automobiles probably and motorbikes if it's a berg So yeah, yeah,
I'm still a big fan of going to Texas and
go barbecuing Big Texas, like the Ultimate backyard Barbecue, go
to Texas Big Pit Barbecue.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I would love the Export Ultra Bergarden Grand Tour. I
just want to do something like that, just one of those.
You start here, get here however you can.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Yeah, like the Gumbell Rally used to be all that
deck are London are maybe yeah, across Australia would be good.
The Nullier Board, Yeah, oh we could play. We could
play the Nulliboard golf course, longest golf course in the world.
It stretches the entirety of the nullerblear eighteen holes, each
of them is like it must be like one hundred
(36:13):
and something kon what through five thousand?
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah, five six thousand, I think.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yeah, No, I have thought about that and I would
love to. That's a great point you raised about the
export part of it. Yeah, we probably can't be.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
No alcohol and driving is not that's.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Right, it can't be in character we had someone driving
us or maybe this is something for another time, but yeah,
the gumble Rally would be fucking right up.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Malee.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
Great, Just one last caller here for a Friday yourles please.
Speaker 8 (36:43):
Chilane and I how are we? Hey?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Thanks?
Speaker 8 (36:46):
Just sitting here pondering this whole Kessui celebrity death match?
Is that full cock fight rules? Because if it is
tuning the weapons that you strapped to your feet, it's
going to be vital. I know that with men will
just want to slap a couple of machidies here. But
I think there could be could be a mistake. I
think a couple of flitting nice would go a bit better.
(37:08):
So yeah, what what weapon would you choose?
Speaker 4 (37:13):
So I think where is he? Is he calling from
some sort of avery?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, maybe he's got a bird century down the Caroline
Bay Avery there.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Either that or has just got like bird song on
a CD that he's playing in the background.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I wonder if and cock fighting they they tie the
blades to the rooster's feet. Yes, because they don't have hands. Yeah,
so could I have my weapons and my hands?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
I yeah, I was trying to think about this, and
it's like, no, first of all, there's no weapons. This
is hand to hand, claw to claw. But if there was,
if there was weapons, yeah, you could hold them because
you're a human, You've got hands.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
And it's game over.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah, And that kesuiri has just got them on its
dumb ass clause.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
So at that point, I'm going some sort of long
samurai katana, like a very long one.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Huh, like a batar, like a big long yeah, yeah,
oisted on a batar.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, that's or I would go like the there's sort
of like those long blades Japanese dudes that have them.
It's basically a pole blade, so you like it's a spear,
but it's got a sword essentially on the end of it.
I'm lapping that thing's head off from across the cage.
You got one shot, nah, got a couple got a
long pole for its head if you miss it. Yeah,
(38:29):
And it's coming at you and.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
It's got that it closes the distance.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
Ye yeah, it's got blades on it and it just comes. Well.
Speaker 9 (38:35):
Then in that.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Instance, I would probably go sort of some sort of
two handed sword, just full full, like no a one sword,
two hands, big Gold's vyhander or something like that, where
I have got enough momentum behind it that there's nothing
you can do to stop me, and I can swing
at the body at that point because you could probably
cut a cassier in half of the big enough sword.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Yeah true. Now I think i'd be too one sided
if you could, if you're carrying a whip. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
And the thing about tying stuff to my feet is
my hamstrings are so short that I'm not kicking it
at all.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
So you're gonna have to lie on your back and
just do the bicycle, ain't you.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yeah, it's just going to hinder me. I've now just
got two big, long hunks of metal hanging off my feet.
I wasn't gonna kick it anyway.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
You know, or just maybe strap a knife to the
middle of your head and just go ahead.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
But with you, yeah, give me a fifth weapon, you reckon.
They've got the hands, the legs. It's going to try
and rip my guts out. So I don't know, So
I put play Darmers a whole different discussion. I think
that's not a weapon. Long sword, long sword, I think
i'd go. But yeah, adding something to my feet's not
going to help me.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
It's only going to hinder me. All right, that'll do
us for today. Watch out on this feed.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Later on today we'll have the sports book with the
tarb We're making our Ka millions.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
No Everes Everest sorry, the Everest Big Mega Millions richest
race in Australasia. Is tomorrow and your chance to win
ten million bucks and it's free.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
It's free entry, and chances are since I misnamed it,
I'm probably not gonna win it, but we're gonna have
a crack So watch out for that podcast later on
on this feed. Otherwise, we will see you on Monday
for another episode of Dear Gender Podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
You've been listening to The ACC's a gender podcast brought
to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and
follow on iHeartRadio of you get your podcasts
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