May 2, 2026 • 17 mins
On today's cold cuts, there's advice, bones to pick and arse-rippin'.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Whole Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kezy.
Tune in week days at four on Radio Holdarkey.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Use indeed Nirvana there on the Radio Holdarchy Big Show
this Tuesday evening.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
The time is five p forty one.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Hey, fellas, what's your opinion on when you're using a
work toilet going wheeze, rip an ass where you're doing it?
What's your vibe on that?
Speaker 5 (00:24):
I think it's just all part and parcel have been
a backbone, right, so it's.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
All g Well, I'm of an age now, Keezy, where
I don't really have a choice in that.
Speaker 6 (00:35):
That's a good point, man, You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
In terms of ripping urs is that a thing that
happens you can no longer when you're going wheeze. And
as a bloke, every bloke knows when you're going wheeze.
It's always your opportunity there.
Speaker 6 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
But yeah, because you're sort of an age Jase where
you're sort of losing control of your sphincter.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah, well I got a map for that now, just
to tighten that up a bit, an app Yeah, just
some exercises you can do there, Keezy.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yeah, nice man, it's great Okay, so you guys don't
see it because the way I vibe it is if
you're in the work, the work toilets and it's just.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
Me maybe you know. No, I don't know if I've
been letting it rip, but I'll be you know, giving
it death, give it, given it death.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Yeah, Whereas if someone else is in there with me,
I probably would hold it in or make it silent.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I've I've always been of the opinion that it's polite, yeah,
to not wrap pass in the presence of other people.
Having said that, on the way back from Melbourne, on
my flight home, I had terrible pangs in my stomach,
and so I was walking up and down the eye
of their crop dusting.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
Nice. Do you not just bury it into your seat?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I try to, but then the stench.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
You do run a slightly different operation because you also
don't do number two's outside of your house, correct, well.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Outside of Mike. I don't like doing a number twos
a week. No, No, that's right.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Yeah, I don't know what that's got to do with anything.
So anyway, this, if I could just steer it back
to this yarn in particular, what.
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Was the question again. So this morning, I was using
the work facilities and I was at the urine all
there facing the door as usually when I know.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Don't face the door, megie, all right, So I walked
in and there was someone in the cubicles, door open,
going wheeze. Now I didn't look as to who it was.
I was just eyes to the front keezy, which I
know you struggle with, Jase. And I walked to the
urine all I started doing my business. Now behind me,
someone's going wheeze and then let's out a fart. Okay,
(02:37):
now after I was still going wheeze, he finishes up,
washes his hands, and then goes see a lot of keezy.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
And it was Jeremy Wells.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I wasn't sure if he had done a fart. I
wasn't sure if i'd misheit it, but I was pretty
sure he lit one.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Rip Oh, he raps all the time, jeszy.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
He does.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
And so, and I've asked Pugs to find me some
clips here of random fart. I'm going to try and
find the one that most represents.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And I wasn't there. It was kind of that it
wasn't there. It was nah, was it about that one.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It wasn't that either. No, these are probably a bit
too full onto me about that one. It wasn't that either.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Was that that second one there that sounds like a
Jerry one?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
It was like that, but like quiet like this, you
know what I mean? It was like that sort of.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Thing that could have been happening in the woman's toilet
next door, which is through the wall. You know, it
sounded far away.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
It sounded kind of far away, and I was just like,
did youry just rip pass whilst and then you know, yeah,
I was just like, is that awkward or is that
all g because you're in the toilet?
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Right to be feared? Jerry he was.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
He was the master of his own universe when you
walked in, So he was rubbing an ass in private. Yeah,
you came in and you intruded. So if you had
to walk down Jerry was in there and you repped ours,
that would have been unacceptable. But Jerry was already there
you walked in. He didn't know that he knew you,
so you ripped ours. So if he had a knowing
that it was keysy, he probably would have made another
(04:04):
decision there. But because he had his back to you
and he was in the toilet and the cubicle. He
didn't know that it was you, so he heard.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Assumed it was a stranger, and then thought I can
rip here because it's a stranger.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Well, he's thinking to himself, I've got rap ass money.
You know, he's got breakfast money, he's got seven Sharp money.
He's just he does what he wants.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
He's a different breed altogether from you.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
Key.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
I've seen seven Sharp he ripped us live on here
on the couch next to Hill's beds an animal.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Can I just ask, because you know you don't like
to rap ars in front of people, becau he's in.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
That's very good man.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
Arrest me. I don't like to fast in front of him.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
That I agree.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Weird. I've seen him Kappa's Now.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Can I get to my question? Please?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Do you have a fast accumulation of gas throughout the.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Day that you then release in your home pack.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
He's got guess as a second only to Bahain in Australia.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, except yeah, question Jason. The answer that is yes,
it's a vast reserve. And then when I get home,
I hop out of the carnd there's a specific patch
of grass on the front.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Lawn there completely, it's burnt away now.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
And that's what you squat down onto the ground.
Speaker 6 (05:14):
Yeah, I squat down days, Yeah, yeah, squat down.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
You're a shop yeah, oh you're a filthy but totally.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
It's funny because your grass is dead, whereas when I
did that with my tomatoes they flourish.
Speaker 6 (05:27):
Is so great. Can you throw the muse please?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Okay The Hurarchy Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hdarky.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Let's put another.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
Man busted on the bench.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Bloody oath fellls, bloody bloody, let's do it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
We're not far off now, guys, mid May. Just checking
m calendar there, we're talking May fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth.
Speaker 6 (05:54):
Oh my god, I'm not ready for this.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah you are keysy man, freaking out man, as Mogie suggested,
and I think you do it. You should get some
pre training in a couple of you know, red wines
at night, a couple.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Of snifters, a couple of shots.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
What is a sniff? Isn't it a lolly?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
No, it's a sort of a big goblet of your
brand ease, that sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Well, that's not what I'll be drinking over it, just
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
But it's just a way of conditioning your liver. That's getting.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Exactly fellas.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I'm going there for the rugby league, all right, you
go for the rugby league, you stay for the purse.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Responsibly. We are heading to Magic Ground.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
It is three amazing nights sun called Stadium and Brisbane
eight games of rugby league. The Wars are taking on
the Broncos. It's going to be a packed house. All
thanks to Boyship dot co dot NZ Sports Travel made Easy.
You get free flights, free accommodation and you get to
bring a mate.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, great stuff. Let's go to the phone lines. Good
a luky man, bastard. How's life?
Speaker 7 (06:51):
Yeah, a fellow's bloody excellent yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah good? Yeah, good good. What do you do for
a crust, Luke?
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Lumberjack backbine? Yeah, I deal with a bit of woods
from time to time.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, eeriction jokes. He sounds like a lumberjack, don't you think, Fellows.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
I've never heard of lumberjack.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It just sounds very manly keysy, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (07:19):
Yeah, totally, Luke. How you look? Do you like rugby league?
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Man?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
When you're not chopping down trees.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
I don't mind a keyesy, but I'm a huge fan
of big schnozzle, stick sticking, hand smoke and crooked kids.
So I just love to come.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Just sign him up, Just sign him up now, mate.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
One last thing, Luke, what's your vibe on meet Patty
nips Man?
Speaker 7 (07:39):
Oh? God, don't get me started? Yeah, off you while
I was there, that'd be be be.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Beautiful, Luke. Where you're in the drawermat? You hold the line?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
All right? Cheers fellas, get a pool your mad barset?
How's life bloody good? Good on you mate? What do
you do for a cross pool driver?
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Back backbone? Jeez, we've had some backbones in this call hard.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
Have you got your license for that there, Paul?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Yep, yeah, I've got my license.
Speaker 6 (08:08):
What's the fastest you've ever been in a fork with?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Brother?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (08:12):
I think they let us crank it up.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Do you get a license for that?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (08:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
Well you can't just be going around living left in
heavy goods man without license, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Right, Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Hey, Paul, does your fork have a little knob on
the steering wheel?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
You got a knob?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (08:29):
Sure does?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
How you're in the drawer as well. Mate, good luck
awesome for that boy man.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
One last one I fellas?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Okay is that Brent from christ Church? How are you
going Brent? Yeah? Good, good, good on you mate? Tell
what do you do for a crust?
Speaker 7 (08:49):
I'll maketually a student pilot at the moment?
Speaker 6 (08:53):
How many hours do you have to get their? Brint?
Speaker 7 (08:55):
Oh a couple of hundred?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Yeah, what's the gats Man? Do you just sit on
the instructors? Is that how it works?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Pretty much?
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Yeah, and so and Brit you're in the am I right, Son,
you're currently in the airplane that still has the training
wheels on it.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
And it's got the floaties on the wings as well.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
That would be actually terrifying, you know, having to sort
of pilot alongside someone that's learning to fly, don't you think?
I mean I founded a nightmare with my daughter driving
sitting in the passenger.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
I was like, yeah, she was worse.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
She hated about thirty thousand feet up.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
It's like she, oh, yeah, thirty thousands. Hey bring your sicko?
Who would you bring?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Man?
Speaker 6 (09:35):
If you're having to win this unbelievable prize, I think
i'd have to take my wife her name again.
Speaker 7 (09:43):
Her nickname is actually why whah?
Speaker 6 (09:46):
I know what, she's great. She's a great time. Skip
what you're what? She's a great time. She's a good bastard.
Is that what you mean?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
No, I mean she's a great. Yeah, she's great to
hang out with. What what Why were you not w Sorry,
it's all.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
We're all good. Eight Yeah, yeah, we're all good. Come on, guys,
don't make that weird.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
It's just wow.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
No, that's yeah, that's good. It's all.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
It's like, you're you're just gotta be careful man when
it comes to other blokes.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Wife, You know what I mean. I don't know how
many times we have to tell you that. Look, man,
you do what you want to right.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And at the same time, I think both of your
partners are a great time as well.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
You take their back a rich.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
The whole Achy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy
tune in week days at four on Radio hold.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Ikis indeed the offspring there on the radio Holdarky Big
Show this Thursday evening.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Hey, fellas, I kind of put my foot in it
with a one day old child yesterday, right, judgy baby, Yeah,
very judge baby, I thought so a very very good
friend of mine and my wife. In fact, probably i'd say,
you know, i'd say he's probably not the baby mate
down there in christ Chitch.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Oh. He's just had his second child, which is very exciting.
Right now.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
They sent through photos of the child. Here it is here,
a little beanie on the little blanket on, come on, mogie.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Can you show me please?
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Whoa wow, Holy heck? They drop it? So no that
how do you? How do you? Uncle Keyesy's going to
stand up from it?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
So basically what happened is they sent through a photo
of the newborn baby, very exciting, slightly over. You been
waiting a while, The whole family's been on Tinder, and
I just straight away out the gate comment, Oh my goodness,
is that another boy?
Speaker 6 (11:42):
Love heart eyes emoji?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
That?
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Oh god, I hope it's a boy. Otherwise I've gotten
off on the wrong foot with it.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Now.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
The baby is wearing just like a sort of brown
stripeye onesie, and it's very neutral colors.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
Yeah, all right, And.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I understand that girls can we blue and boys can
we have pink and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
You're against it, though.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
No, I don't care you were saying, Oh that, you know,
standards have slept really badly and you're horrified by but
you carry on.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Yeah I did.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
And then they basically straight away message no little girl
born this afternoon, gave us all the details, blah blah
blah blah blah. Yeah, and so what I've done there
is literally day one. This child has been on the
planet for one day, and I've.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
Already butchered it. Butchered it.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Yeah, yeah, is there any coming back from that?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
And what sort of role are you playing? I mean
you could probably one of those uncles with a kid
doesn't really take you seriously, and Uncle Chris is coming over.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Yeah, it depends what your roll is. I guess, well, I.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Think my role would be kind of like the fun
Uncle Kezy, Old Uncle.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Kezy's coming around. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah he steamed again.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Yeah, yeah, don't let him near the toilet.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
No, I'm just joking. That's not at all what it's
going to be like. It's going to be like, here's
Uncle Kezy. He's a real role model in my life. Oh,
he's got a ship together, he knows what's up, and
I really respect him.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
That's the first one Fellas.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Yeah. I mean, look on the bright side, it's a baby.
Your mates will be used to you having a shocker. Yes,
so no surprises there. But I think the main thing
for you is you've got you listen to her. It's
like going up to a woman and asking her if
she's pregnant. Were congratulating her for being pregnant?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Sure that she is?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Do you think that make you nervous? You know, because
it's getting close for you now. I've seen the little
one there going that'll be me not far from now.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Guys, I thought I thought we'd move past this whole
pretend Keys, he's expecting a baby thing?
Speaker 6 (13:42):
What do you mean you just just stop making it up? No, don't,
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
No, You're right, We're not talking about it anymore.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Stop winking at Mogi. What is that good? Keysy? No,
what do you mean that? I'm not?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Shall we?
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Are you any Thanks for the advice, Fellows. I feel
so much better.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
The Whole Archy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy
tune in week days.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
At four on Radio.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yes, indeed, Harvey Danger there on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show,
That beautiful Friday afternoon.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
The time four thirty eight sellers.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
I've got a bone to pick.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I got a bone to pick.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
That's the best one you've ever done.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Yesterday on the podcast, things got a little bit out
of control. Yeah, Jason was talking about people's bums, all
sorts of stuff. He was and it got to the
point where, you know, jas you said that I didn't
have much of a backside to speak of, yes, and
I wanted to prove the point that actually I kind
of did. There's not a lot there, but I think
there's you know, once you unwrap it. Wow, it's when
(14:47):
you find out that you've got something there. And so
I simply trying to make that point. And I'm not
very happy with some of the things that were said
to me at the time.
Speaker 6 (14:55):
I just played the audio there. Please. I think I've
got a good ass when it's naked. But you couldn't
given on these pants, Jason, that's there's nothing well he's wearing.
He's going to that's straight down.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Yeah, your your ass is a shocker, Mogi.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
Thanks, it's a shocker.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
No, there isn't hang.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
On to its naked, Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
I don't know if you should.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
God, oh my god.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
You see there's something there.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, how did we get onto this?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
So you know, I'm trying to open up and sort
of be dad and be opened up, thank you, and
just be slightly vulnerable about something that I've felt a
little bit insecure about, you know, a man not having
much of a backside, and people certainly talk about it.
And then I open up and I show you guys,
(15:52):
and then Keyser, you have a go at me and
you say, oh my god, you're coiling and horror, and
then like, man, he was.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
There and Mogie was really opening up for you.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Too, well, of course, which is why I was recoiling
a wee bit. But hang on, I didn't think I
was there, you know, I was sort of going along
with it.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
There.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
It was hurtful, and I would expect that I should
be able to show you my backside.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
And not be openly criticized like that, openly criticized openly.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, I don't feel like I feel like he was
being really really open.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And yeah, sure he was being very, very vulnerable. And
what you your response My response was disgraceful.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
He well, I don't even really, I don't even think
I did anything.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I saw Moggie deflate when he heard you say that,
and you know, he was very vuldy, and you just went, I.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
Don't want to make a big deal out of it, Chris,
but hang on, don't call me Chris. What the hell?
Speaker 5 (17:01):
But I think in future, you know, if one of
us wants to get half naked in the studio and
show each other our downstairs, then there should be a
lot of support for one another, not straight away just
absolutely going each other show me all right?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Yeah, I wasn't gagging when Mogi showed me a downstairs
first of all, hordy j But okay, fair enough, I
hear you. I didn't realize I had done that.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
And it's nice to know that if I show you
my downstairs, you guys will be kind about it as well.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
I think we'll do it on a case by case.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Well just as it comes, who what as it comes?
Speaker 6 (17:39):
Sor you're what?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Here's the Black Keys, the whole Aching Big Show with
Mike and Keyzy. Tune in week days at four on
Radio Hodarkey
The Whole Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kezy.
Tune in week days at four on Radio Holdarkey.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Use indeed Nirvana there on the Radio Holdarchy Big Show
this Tuesday evening.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
The time is five p forty one.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Hey, fellas, what's your opinion on when you're using a
work toilet going wheeze, rip an ass where you're doing it?
What's your vibe on that?
Speaker 5 (00:24):
I think it's just all part and parcel have been
a backbone, right, so it's.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
All g Well, I'm of an age now, Keezy, where
I don't really have a choice in that.
Speaker 6 (00:35):
That's a good point, man, You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
In terms of ripping urs is that a thing that
happens you can no longer when you're going wheeze. And
as a bloke, every bloke knows when you're going wheeze.
It's always your opportunity there.
Speaker 6 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
But yeah, because you're sort of an age Jase where
you're sort of losing control of your sphincter.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah, well I got a map for that now, just
to tighten that up a bit, an app Yeah, just
some exercises you can do there, Keezy.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yeah, nice man, it's great Okay, so you guys don't
see it because the way I vibe it is if
you're in the work, the work toilets and it's just.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
Me maybe you know. No, I don't know if I've
been letting it rip, but I'll be you know, giving
it death, give it, given it death.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Yeah, Whereas if someone else is in there with me,
I probably would hold it in or make it silent.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I've I've always been of the opinion that it's polite, yeah,
to not wrap pass in the presence of other people.
Having said that, on the way back from Melbourne, on
my flight home, I had terrible pangs in my stomach,
and so I was walking up and down the eye
of their crop dusting.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
Nice. Do you not just bury it into your seat?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I try to, but then the stench.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
You do run a slightly different operation because you also
don't do number two's outside of your house, correct, well.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Outside of Mike. I don't like doing a number twos
a week. No, No, that's right.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Yeah, I don't know what that's got to do with anything.
So anyway, this, if I could just steer it back
to this yarn in particular, what.
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Was the question again. So this morning, I was using
the work facilities and I was at the urine all
there facing the door as usually when I know.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Don't face the door, megie, all right, So I walked
in and there was someone in the cubicles, door open,
going wheeze. Now I didn't look as to who it was.
I was just eyes to the front keezy, which I
know you struggle with, Jase. And I walked to the
urine all I started doing my business. Now behind me,
someone's going wheeze and then let's out a fart. Okay,
(02:37):
now after I was still going wheeze, he finishes up,
washes his hands, and then goes see a lot of keezy.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
And it was Jeremy Wells.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I wasn't sure if he had done a fart. I
wasn't sure if i'd misheit it, but I was pretty
sure he lit one.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Rip Oh, he raps all the time, jeszy.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
He does.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
And so, and I've asked Pugs to find me some
clips here of random fart. I'm going to try and
find the one that most represents.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And I wasn't there. It was kind of that it
wasn't there. It was nah, was it about that one.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It wasn't that either. No, these are probably a bit
too full onto me about that one. It wasn't that either.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Was that that second one there that sounds like a
Jerry one?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
It was like that, but like quiet like this, you
know what I mean? It was like that sort of.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Thing that could have been happening in the woman's toilet
next door, which is through the wall. You know, it
sounded far away.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
It sounded kind of far away, and I was just like,
did youry just rip pass whilst and then you know, yeah,
I was just like, is that awkward or is that
all g because you're in the toilet?
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Right to be feared? Jerry he was.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
He was the master of his own universe when you
walked in, So he was rubbing an ass in private. Yeah,
you came in and you intruded. So if you had
to walk down Jerry was in there and you repped ours,
that would have been unacceptable. But Jerry was already there
you walked in. He didn't know that he knew you,
so you ripped ours. So if he had a knowing
that it was keysy, he probably would have made another
(04:04):
decision there. But because he had his back to you
and he was in the toilet and the cubicle. He
didn't know that it was you, so he heard.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Assumed it was a stranger, and then thought I can
rip here because it's a stranger.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Well, he's thinking to himself, I've got rap ass money.
You know, he's got breakfast money, he's got seven Sharp money.
He's just he does what he wants.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
He's a different breed altogether from you.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
Key.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
I've seen seven Sharp he ripped us live on here
on the couch next to Hill's beds an animal.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Can I just ask, because you know you don't like
to rap ars in front of people, becau he's in.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
That's very good man.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
Arrest me. I don't like to fast in front of him.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
That I agree.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Weird. I've seen him Kappa's Now.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Can I get to my question? Please?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Do you have a fast accumulation of gas throughout the.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Day that you then release in your home pack.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
He's got guess as a second only to Bahain in Australia.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, except yeah, question Jason. The answer that is yes,
it's a vast reserve. And then when I get home,
I hop out of the carnd there's a specific patch
of grass on the front.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Lawn there completely, it's burnt away now.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
And that's what you squat down onto the ground.
Speaker 6 (05:14):
Yeah, I squat down days, Yeah, yeah, squat down.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
You're a shop yeah, oh you're a filthy but totally.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
It's funny because your grass is dead, whereas when I
did that with my tomatoes they flourish.
Speaker 6 (05:27):
Is so great. Can you throw the muse please?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Okay The Hurarchy Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hdarky.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Let's put another.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
Man busted on the bench.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Bloody oath fellls, bloody bloody, let's do it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
We're not far off now, guys, mid May. Just checking
m calendar there, we're talking May fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth.
Speaker 6 (05:54):
Oh my god, I'm not ready for this.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah you are keysy man, freaking out man, as Mogie suggested,
and I think you do it. You should get some
pre training in a couple of you know, red wines
at night, a couple.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Of snifters, a couple of shots.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
What is a sniff? Isn't it a lolly?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
No, it's a sort of a big goblet of your
brand ease, that sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Well, that's not what I'll be drinking over it, just
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
But it's just a way of conditioning your liver. That's getting.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Exactly fellas.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I'm going there for the rugby league, all right, you
go for the rugby league, you stay for the purse.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Responsibly. We are heading to Magic Ground.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
It is three amazing nights sun called Stadium and Brisbane
eight games of rugby league. The Wars are taking on
the Broncos. It's going to be a packed house. All
thanks to Boyship dot co dot NZ Sports Travel made Easy.
You get free flights, free accommodation and you get to
bring a mate.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, great stuff. Let's go to the phone lines. Good
a luky man, bastard. How's life?
Speaker 7 (06:51):
Yeah, a fellow's bloody excellent yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah good? Yeah, good good. What do you do for
a crust, Luke?
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Lumberjack backbine? Yeah, I deal with a bit of woods
from time to time.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, eeriction jokes. He sounds like a lumberjack, don't you think, Fellows.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
I've never heard of lumberjack.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It just sounds very manly keysy, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (07:19):
Yeah, totally, Luke. How you look? Do you like rugby league?
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Man?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
When you're not chopping down trees.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
I don't mind a keyesy, but I'm a huge fan
of big schnozzle, stick sticking, hand smoke and crooked kids.
So I just love to come.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Just sign him up, Just sign him up now, mate.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
One last thing, Luke, what's your vibe on meet Patty
nips Man?
Speaker 7 (07:39):
Oh? God, don't get me started? Yeah, off you while
I was there, that'd be be be.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Beautiful, Luke. Where you're in the drawermat? You hold the line?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
All right? Cheers fellas, get a pool your mad barset?
How's life bloody good? Good on you mate? What do
you do for a cross pool driver?
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Back backbone? Jeez, we've had some backbones in this call hard.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
Have you got your license for that there, Paul?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Yep, yeah, I've got my license.
Speaker 6 (08:08):
What's the fastest you've ever been in a fork with?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Brother?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (08:12):
I think they let us crank it up.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Do you get a license for that?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (08:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
Well you can't just be going around living left in
heavy goods man without license, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Right, Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Hey, Paul, does your fork have a little knob on
the steering wheel?
Speaker 6 (08:28):
You got a knob?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (08:29):
Sure does?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
How you're in the drawer as well. Mate, good luck
awesome for that boy man.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
One last one I fellas?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Okay is that Brent from christ Church? How are you
going Brent? Yeah? Good, good, good on you mate? Tell
what do you do for a crust?
Speaker 7 (08:49):
I'll maketually a student pilot at the moment?
Speaker 6 (08:53):
How many hours do you have to get their? Brint?
Speaker 7 (08:55):
Oh a couple of hundred?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Yeah, what's the gats Man? Do you just sit on
the instructors? Is that how it works?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Pretty much?
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Yeah, and so and Brit you're in the am I right, Son,
you're currently in the airplane that still has the training
wheels on it.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
And it's got the floaties on the wings as well.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
That would be actually terrifying, you know, having to sort
of pilot alongside someone that's learning to fly, don't you think?
I mean I founded a nightmare with my daughter driving
sitting in the passenger.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
I was like, yeah, she was worse.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
She hated about thirty thousand feet up.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
It's like she, oh, yeah, thirty thousands. Hey bring your sicko?
Who would you bring?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Man?
Speaker 6 (09:35):
If you're having to win this unbelievable prize, I think
i'd have to take my wife her name again.
Speaker 7 (09:43):
Her nickname is actually why whah?
Speaker 6 (09:46):
I know what, she's great. She's a great time. Skip
what you're what? She's a great time. She's a good bastard.
Is that what you mean?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
No, I mean she's a great. Yeah, she's great to
hang out with. What what Why were you not w Sorry,
it's all.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
We're all good. Eight Yeah, yeah, we're all good. Come on, guys,
don't make that weird.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
It's just wow.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
No, that's yeah, that's good. It's all.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
It's like, you're you're just gotta be careful man when
it comes to other blokes.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Wife, You know what I mean. I don't know how
many times we have to tell you that. Look, man,
you do what you want to right.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And at the same time, I think both of your
partners are a great time as well.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
You take their back a rich.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
The whole Achy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy
tune in week days at four on Radio hold.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Ikis indeed the offspring there on the radio Holdarky Big
Show this Thursday evening.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Hey, fellas, I kind of put my foot in it
with a one day old child yesterday, right, judgy baby, Yeah,
very judge baby, I thought so a very very good
friend of mine and my wife. In fact, probably i'd say,
you know, i'd say he's probably not the baby mate
down there in christ Chitch.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Oh. He's just had his second child, which is very exciting.
Right now.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
They sent through photos of the child. Here it is here,
a little beanie on the little blanket on, come on, mogie.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Can you show me please?
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Whoa wow, Holy heck? They drop it? So no that
how do you? How do you? Uncle Keyesy's going to
stand up from it?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
So basically what happened is they sent through a photo
of the newborn baby, very exciting, slightly over. You been
waiting a while, The whole family's been on Tinder, and
I just straight away out the gate comment, Oh my goodness,
is that another boy?
Speaker 6 (11:42):
Love heart eyes emoji?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
That?
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Oh god, I hope it's a boy. Otherwise I've gotten
off on the wrong foot with it.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Now.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
The baby is wearing just like a sort of brown
stripeye onesie, and it's very neutral colors.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
Yeah, all right, And.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
I understand that girls can we blue and boys can
we have pink and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
You're against it, though.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
No, I don't care you were saying, Oh that, you know,
standards have slept really badly and you're horrified by but
you carry on.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Yeah I did.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
And then they basically straight away message no little girl
born this afternoon, gave us all the details, blah blah
blah blah blah. Yeah, and so what I've done there
is literally day one. This child has been on the
planet for one day, and I've.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
Already butchered it. Butchered it.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Yeah, yeah, is there any coming back from that?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
And what sort of role are you playing? I mean
you could probably one of those uncles with a kid
doesn't really take you seriously, and Uncle Chris is coming over.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Yeah, it depends what your roll is. I guess, well, I.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Think my role would be kind of like the fun
Uncle Kezy, Old Uncle.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Kezy's coming around. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah he steamed again.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Yeah, yeah, don't let him near the toilet.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
No, I'm just joking. That's not at all what it's
going to be like. It's going to be like, here's
Uncle Kezy. He's a real role model in my life. Oh,
he's got a ship together, he knows what's up, and
I really respect him.
Speaker 6 (13:05):
That's the first one Fellas.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Yeah. I mean, look on the bright side, it's a baby.
Your mates will be used to you having a shocker. Yes,
so no surprises there. But I think the main thing
for you is you've got you listen to her. It's
like going up to a woman and asking her if
she's pregnant. Were congratulating her for being pregnant?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Sure that she is?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Do you think that make you nervous? You know, because
it's getting close for you now. I've seen the little
one there going that'll be me not far from now.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Guys, I thought I thought we'd move past this whole
pretend Keys, he's expecting a baby thing?
Speaker 6 (13:42):
What do you mean you just just stop making it up? No, don't,
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
No, You're right, We're not talking about it anymore.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Stop winking at Mogi. What is that good? Keysy? No,
what do you mean that? I'm not?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Shall we?
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Are you any Thanks for the advice, Fellows. I feel
so much better.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
The Whole Archy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy
tune in week days.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
At four on Radio.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yes, indeed, Harvey Danger there on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show,
That beautiful Friday afternoon.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
The time four thirty eight sellers.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
I've got a bone to pick.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I got a bone to pick.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
That's the best one you've ever done.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Yesterday on the podcast, things got a little bit out
of control. Yeah, Jason was talking about people's bums, all
sorts of stuff. He was and it got to the
point where, you know, jas you said that I didn't
have much of a backside to speak of, yes, and
I wanted to prove the point that actually I kind
of did. There's not a lot there, but I think
there's you know, once you unwrap it. Wow, it's when
(14:47):
you find out that you've got something there. And so
I simply trying to make that point. And I'm not
very happy with some of the things that were said
to me at the time.
Speaker 6 (14:55):
I just played the audio there. Please. I think I've
got a good ass when it's naked. But you couldn't
given on these pants, Jason, that's there's nothing well he's wearing.
He's going to that's straight down.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Yeah, your your ass is a shocker, Mogi.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
Thanks, it's a shocker.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
No, there isn't hang.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
On to its naked, Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
I don't know if you should.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
God, oh my god.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
You see there's something there.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, how did we get onto this?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
So you know, I'm trying to open up and sort
of be dad and be opened up, thank you, and
just be slightly vulnerable about something that I've felt a
little bit insecure about, you know, a man not having
much of a backside, and people certainly talk about it.
And then I open up and I show you guys,
(15:52):
and then Keyser, you have a go at me and
you say, oh my god, you're coiling and horror, and
then like, man, he was.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
There and Mogie was really opening up for you.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Too, well, of course, which is why I was recoiling
a wee bit. But hang on, I didn't think I
was there, you know, I was sort of going along
with it.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
There.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
It was hurtful, and I would expect that I should
be able to show you my backside.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
And not be openly criticized like that, openly criticized openly.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, I don't feel like I feel like he was
being really really open.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And yeah, sure he was being very, very vulnerable. And
what you your response My response was disgraceful.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
He well, I don't even really, I don't even think
I did anything.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I saw Moggie deflate when he heard you say that,
and you know, he was very vuldy, and you just went, I.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
Don't want to make a big deal out of it, Chris,
but hang on, don't call me Chris. What the hell?
Speaker 5 (17:01):
But I think in future, you know, if one of
us wants to get half naked in the studio and
show each other our downstairs, then there should be a
lot of support for one another, not straight away just
absolutely going each other show me all right?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Yeah, I wasn't gagging when Mogi showed me a downstairs
first of all, hordy j But okay, fair enough, I
hear you. I didn't realize I had done that.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
And it's nice to know that if I show you
my downstairs, you guys will be kind about it as well.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
I think we'll do it on a case by case.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Well just as it comes, who what as it comes?
Speaker 6 (17:39):
Sor you're what?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Here's the Black Keys, the whole Aching Big Show with
Mike and Keyzy. Tune in week days at four on
Radio Hodarkey
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