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February 11, 2026 11 mins

On today's poddy, we're somewhere between a label and a disclaimer.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For all you men bastards loving the Big Show podcast
Get up even Closer.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
On Instagram, YouTube, and ticktu.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Off for for dogging four to.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Seven every weekday on Radio hurd Recare Get.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
A fellows hell.

Speaker 4 (00:16):
Guy's the beginning. Feedback on News Today's body, I don't
think so, not that I read. I got some direct
feedback about it from who from Hannah. She's Irish. She
lives in Ireland, right, I said, you're married to keep
We go ahead, Nat. So she's here, Nat, She's in Dublin.
She misses you online. She messages me on the old

(00:37):
Insta there. She's on Matt leave at the moment, Jace,
what leave maternity?

Speaker 3 (00:41):
All right?

Speaker 4 (00:41):
She's having another sprague And she found us because they're
big fans of h She is a big fan of Taskmaster,
and somebody put her onto the New Zealand task Master,
which apparently like and I used to be a big
fan of task Master. I'm a bit sick of it now,
but apparently the New Zealand ones go really really well
comparatively well she was a fan of. From there she

(01:02):
found the Matt and Jerry Show. And from the Matt
and Jerry Show, they found the Big Show and now
they listen to the Big Show in their office in Dublin.
Everyone in the office is Irish. No key was in
there and they listened to our show, not the outro
and the outro oh god. And they work in what
do they working feelers? They work in health public sector

(01:27):
and the Health Service, working in finance and operations. The
team is Freddie Mark. Her name is Hannah. Now you
tell me how, you tell me, how you say this?

Speaker 3 (01:38):
This name is going to be a classic Irish name.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Isn't going to be a.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Few of them? A O I F e A O
I think elf. I think it's elf. This one here
e O g.

Speaker 5 (01:53):
H a I n e e O g h a
owen e O g h a I N. Yes, Yeah,
that's good, well done. C h O.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Thing might be like because isn't there, But that's that's
s A I O R yes, I think that's yeah,
Sorcia sorcerer, sorcerer, Sorcerer's stone. And then c a O
L weird a n Colin Colin, Yeah, that's Colin. And
then they've got this a new graduate called Shade. Now

(02:32):
they apparently this is the message. It came through last
night at midnight. Apparently the podcast This Morning Broke Shanade
Sensitivity is in our office. I'm currently on Matt Leaves.
I missed it, but I was thinking, well, how weird
could it be?

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Fucking weird, like I fells, so I apologize.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, it did my head in that conversation yesterday. It
did my fucking head in what do you mean it
was making your head hurt? It was just like what
what what?

Speaker 3 (03:05):
But in what way? What? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
It was just like.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
There was just something about it that just it didn't
bug me. But it was just like, you're talking about
going back as our older selves and beating our younger
selves off.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
I was like, because it was important, don't make it predatory.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
I don't want to go there again.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
That's the best chap with Ages. I thoroughly enjoyed.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
It interesting, and I'm sorry that Sade couldn't be adult enough.
You see it For the question that.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
It was Snade on this, it wasn't interesting at all.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
It was it was. It was an interesting discussion.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Vacuous and unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
I don't say vacuous, which means dumb, doesn't it?

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (03:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Not yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Because I'm vacuous.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
I mean, I don't. I'm dumb. You're a bit of
a dear brain.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, right, do another hypothetical question, No, go on, what
do you got? Would you still have a go at yourself?
Ev When you got to completion, one giant sperm came out.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
I've heard this one before.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, and you had to fight it afterwards. But it
was like it was like the size of like a
I don't know, like a fresh that's like I don't know,
ten centim is long and it comes out and it's
really aggreses.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
And what's my other option? Two options? No, I wouldn't
do it. I would be out.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
I'm out of this conversation. Come on, what were you
saying on the show man now.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Talking about wrestling with my own ejaculate?

Speaker 2 (04:47):
I draw the line.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Man, imagine if you have beaten to death by your
own massive spuff God.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Big Show week days from four on Radio Hierarchy The
Racking Big Show Podcast Day. Okay, So I personally feel
bad for you.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
See I feel fatigued already now just that it's just
on there.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
So Jason, you ate fifteen dublings the other day and
you were like, oh my god, I'm so massive, right, Yes,
I've never done that before. So I just ate fifteen
of the same doublings and I was like, I reckon,
I could go twenty, righty is twenty two much for once?

Speaker 3 (05:24):
An?

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Well, Like I said to you, I reckon, you set
into those massive food eating comps where they have restaurants
around the place and they have a challenge, the food challenge,
and you've got to eat a huge amount of food
and in like thirty minutes and then they give it
to you.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
I could eat twenty as well, but why would you?
I know, yummy, No, not yummy though, because you're two full,
two ful? Did you eat twenty today?

Speaker 2 (05:48):
I ate fifteen And as I was eating them, I
was eating them in two bites, right, these doublings, And
I was like, this is going way too fast, and
I started eding them in three bites to get the
most out of it.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah, yeah, you got down that right down.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
That is disgusting. What two bites?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
They say you should chew your food thirty times.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
No no, no, no, no, you you've completely.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
I mean you bite a half.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Whereas I thought traditionally maybe a dumpling was like just
one mouthful, not that I do with them like that,
but I was like consciously biting them and two mouthfuls,
and then I went to three mouthfuls to really drag
out the pleasure. And then I was like, why don't
I just get twenty?

Speaker 1 (06:25):
I reckon, you can fit quite a bit in your mouth.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
It's quite a big mouth.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
I mean, I reckon, you'd easily stuff three dumplings in
there at a time.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Geezy, if you tried easy and a spring roll and
a spring two dumplings in a spring roll, Jason, you
were disgusting. Someone please think of snade on the other
side of the world. Sensibility is ruined.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
That's how I have them. You do you have them? Yes? Genuinely.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
My brain was like as I opened it and I
stirred around all the sauce, and I was like, this
is so great. There, how many dumplings I've got? And
then I was like, I've only got thirty mouthfuls here
because it's fifteen doublings, two bites of each and now
are delicious. But I've only got thirty mouthfuls. I don't
not even think about it too much.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
And I was counting them down as I was like, damn,
twenty sixths.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
Wrong with you? You?

Speaker 4 (07:16):
Yeah, I think you need to see a therapist. I've
never thought about it in terms of this has helped.
But I guess if you love something, sure, was anybody
with you? Or were you alone? You know what it
sounds like. It sounds like you're stoned. That's the kind
of thing you think of. You are stoned.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Fair point thirty bites here.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Maybe if I had three bites, then I have, you know,
forty five.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I had a thing happened to me the other day, Fellers,
and afterwards I went, I need help, seriously. I'm not
going to tell you what it was.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Can you tell us what it was?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
But it was something happened and then I, as I do,
immediately assumed responsibility for it and had nothing to do
with me. And I went, what the fuck is my
brain doing?

Speaker 4 (08:03):
What would be an example not which is not the
example that you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
So like if someone broke something.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, so someone, if I, if I came into the office,
there was and this is serious.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
So when when you came in, was it one giant
ejaculate or billions of little ones?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Billions of little ejaculates? If I and this is why
I went, geez, I've got a problem here. If I
came into the office.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Right, yeah, so far and.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
There was no one in the office and there was
smash glass all over the floor, I would go, fuck,
did I do that?

Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yeah? Really?

Speaker 4 (08:42):
This is like when you go into the toilet and
you see shit all over the toilet, hey, and then
you clean it up because you're worried that somebody will
think it was you.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
I often do things kind of like that because I
don't want people to think I did that, so I'll
sort it out.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
But you're happily live all your rubbish and glasses.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
The things you are responsible for. You could give a
fuck about the things you are responsible for.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
You my god, damn glass out every day.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Sure, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
I mean it's fucked up, and it's like, clearly I
didn't do that, And then for and I'm not joking,
for two hours, I'll go, fuck did I do that?

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah's something wrong with you that is bad. When you
get you know, you get that piece of paper up,
you throw it at pegs or you throw it over
my way, and then you just leave it there.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Think when you don't give a ship.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, they they connect in the sense that they don't
disturb me because.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
I know I did that.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Are You're true? That's true?

Speaker 1 (09:38):
So but this is like creating a situation where it's
nothing to do with me, and yet I'm somehow taking
it all on that I did it.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
You know what? That is.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
The big sea.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
I was going to say early on set dementia, but
to be fair, it's not that early. Okay, just before
we wrap up, his you go, if you were in
jail and you had to eat your future.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Self, You're stuck on a dissert island with a mermaid?
Would you rather the top half or bottom half with
a fish?

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Okay? What kind of fish? Any fish? I want?

Speaker 2 (10:19):
No, it's a let's just say it's a trout.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
Say the top half a woman, okay, in the bottom
half being equaman.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah, I see what you're doing there now listen, by
the way, correction, we never used to do hypotheticals. We
used to do would you rather?

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Is that the same.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Kind of But this is just which one did you
go for?

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Jase?

Speaker 2 (10:45):
The top half fish or bottom half?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm not even playing the stupid game.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
What Jase would do to get him get his hands
on a whole fish, given him his years of unsuccessful
fishing bottom fish.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yes, and then I'd fillip the acid. It's just Sami up.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
You're sick man, Sorry about that.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
I am. I am. I just told you how sick
I am.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
I don't know what to apologize to.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Sad my mind, I think, I think so.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
I think there's something wrong with me, because now I
think I should be able to fix that.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
The only guy in the heres got his head screwed on.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, you've got too much Portmants in your brain. That's
what your problem is. Easy for all those dumplings.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
Actually, I tried the chicken ones did, and that was
fucking good.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I had ones the other day too.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
He had twenty of them, five and one sitting. That's
the full seven weekdays when I get
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