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April 30, 2026 11 mins

On today's poddy, whatever floats your boat.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For all you learn bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and ticked off
for for dogging for to Sivern every weekday on radio. Helloe, Hey,
you guys, you're saying a little bit naze, So you're right,

(00:22):
Do I sound different?

Speaker 2 (00:23):
I think I think what it is he's just pounded
a spicy chicken burger and so he's he's maybe got
a bit of mucus section going on.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
See just on that front. By the way, I.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Stop myself last night from getting the extra spicy.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Howards, which is for some well we all love it,
some more than others. But that's the one that we've
been sort of referring to without mentioning the name of it.
That's fucking good.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
And if if you live in Auckland and you want
the best dumplings of your life, go to eating noodles
and get the dumplings and spices.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
Do you know what I tell you?

Speaker 6 (01:06):
The thing is about it? I'm not I'm not huge
on the dumplings.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
I love a dumpling. I like making them at home
because they're so easy. I like eating the mat. The
big thing about eating noodles is it's so delicious, but
it's so cheap.

Speaker 5 (01:15):
Fuck, it's cheap, unbelief, so cheap anywhere else.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
I had the one ton soup the other day, which
is six one tons and a hot and spicy sauce. Yes,
And then I also had and now that was twelve
dollars ninety there'll be twenty three bucks anywhere.

Speaker 5 (01:30):
Else, and quality, high quality.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
And then I had the chicken strips, the deep fried
chicken strips, which is a full container of that shit,
and it was it came to nineteen dollars seventy or something, yeah,
and I.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Was ram, it's it's fucking incredible.

Speaker 6 (01:44):
It really is.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
But I couldn't go full spice anyway because my wife
wanted some and she doesn't like it too spicy, right,
So you had xcept.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
In the bedroom man, cheese, I see does she like it?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Actually?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
When I in terms of in terms of spice.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
When I first met my wife, no going, man, But.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
I was full spice boy. I loved You're a shocking
little I loved Jilly. And she was at the bedroom
or I'm talking about eating eating what eating hot food?

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Filthy bastard. And she didn't she wasn't into spice at all.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
But over the years she's developed to the point sometimes
where she handles it better than me.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Wow, so do you a woman handles a bit at
that time? Believe the credible to great shame.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
On your going from I can't handle spice to out
doing Hoidy Jay and spice.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
I'm not happy about. To be fair, you've tape it
off though massively.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Have you.

Speaker 6 (02:51):
Have you gotten a little bit taller in these last months?

Speaker 3 (02:53):
No, I've got smaller.

Speaker 5 (02:56):
What was because of your boots? They're pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
We were we were having a conversation the other day
and I was saying, I'm the same height as my
wife and keys. He was like, no, you're fucking not.
We've always been the same height. And so I went
home that night and measured myself against my wife. I'm
fucking way smaller than her, really, and it was like,
I've never been way.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Smaller than you.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
And she said, yeah, you're shrinking pretty quick to get
on the weights men, and I was like, fuck, I
really am.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
So the weights help you get tall, It helps you
retain your muscles. So if you haven't got any muscle,
then you start collapsing under the weight of your own skeleton.
So your muscles if you maintain your muscle, because you
lose one to two percent every single year as soon
as you hit your forties. Right, So that's when you
see old men and old woman there stooped over because
they've got no muscles that the bag.

Speaker 6 (03:47):
Yeah, they can't support themselves.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
So you need to maintain muscle and muscle muscle mass
to carry your fucking skeleton around the scary dude. Yeah, shrinking,
but I'm going to put you on my fucking pocket.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
I'm fit at the moment, but I'm not doing any
muscle work.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
Muscle work, that's what they call it.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I mean I should show you, guys, my ass man,
it's never been more toned.

Speaker 5 (04:11):
I bet you've got the smallest little ass.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
No, not no, I don't wow. I mean compared to
your caboose.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
I've got a decent peach man.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
You've got a fucking dumb track.

Speaker 5 (04:23):
I've got a lovely done of the thing.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Most men don't have asses. And I don't think it's
a big deal. But I went and did a show,
and you've done the show before. A game show hasn't
come out yet. Easy look forward to that one brother.
And as I was going on one of my competitors said, oh,
you've got no ass at all. As I was walking
out for a woman.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
Did you look at her and say look at that?

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Did you say that? I, As I've said before, my
ass was my best feature. Cute little bum, but it
was I was getting that thing of old man bum
where my body was absorbing my ass.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, it doesn't just be a completely I think you're
wasting it in those big baggy pants wearing that. I mean,
I think I've got a good ass when it's naked.
But you couldn't even call on these.

Speaker 5 (05:12):
Pants that's nothing.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Well he's wearing he's going to type jeans that's straight down.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, your your ass is a shocker, Mogi, it's a shocker.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, there isn't hang onto its naked. Yeah, I don't think.

Speaker 5 (05:29):
I don't know if you should.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Oh god, oh.

Speaker 5 (05:34):
My god, you see there's something there.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah. How did we get onto this?

Speaker 1 (05:42):
How do we get you're talking about how you want
to start having six with men?

Speaker 5 (05:45):
Did I do not remember men?

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Can we go back through the audio please, PAGs.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
We cannot remember that the whole Big Shirt week days
from four on Radio Hurarchy.

Speaker 6 (05:58):
Remember the Big Sho podcast.

Speaker 5 (06:01):
Wait, what's your name?

Speaker 6 (06:01):
Jason?

Speaker 4 (06:02):
We can't go back through the audio every time you
forget something you've said.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
So I was saying that I want to have six
with me?

Speaker 5 (06:09):
Yes, and what kind of why else would you have
his ass out?

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Presenting to what context? They was saying, because.

Speaker 6 (06:16):
I might have what kind of a dude? Should I
go for?

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Someone with a humongous ass like old Kezy or someone
with a beautiful, unheary one like old Maggie?

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Right, I don't have a heary ass, Okay, I mean
I might in the sort of in the crevices there,
but I've got no idea.

Speaker 6 (06:30):
What would you do about that? Would you clear that out?

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Probably not just get a match man, just throw a
match in there and walk away.

Speaker 6 (06:40):
It's like a motion explosion and fiction movie.

Speaker 5 (06:45):
I'd probably just do the old lighter candle, put it
on the ground thing over and then just sort of
over squad over it there.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
So I was saying what kind of dude would I
go for?

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Because you remember you were saying, Oh, my wife doesn't
like it's spice in the bedroom. I'm trying to go
extra spicy, but she doesn't want to. So I've been
thinking about being dudes.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Was is this appropriate for the podcast? And you said
podcast what?

Speaker 4 (07:13):
And then you looked at Mogie and said, Mogi, you
got fucking great ass man?

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Is that what I said?

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Was it? The problem was trying to find a clip
highlight at the end of the show too many?

Speaker 3 (07:28):
Jeez?

Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know we talk about it all the time, though,
don't we where we do the podcast and we can't
remember a single thing we talked about on the podcast.
And that's a classic example of that. I mean, I
don't recall saying.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
Any of that.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Would you would you or have you ever found yourself
in a situation where you could.

Speaker 6 (07:45):
Could what, make love to a man?

Speaker 5 (07:48):
I bet you would have.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
I've never made love to a man.

Speaker 5 (07:51):
No, No, I bet you've been in a position where
you probably could have.

Speaker 6 (07:53):
Oh yes I have as well.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yes, but yeah, as well fill your boots if that's
If that's what you want, go for it.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's just not my capo tea.

Speaker 6 (08:02):
No, I was in a situation what's that face?

Speaker 5 (08:09):
Literally just whatever.

Speaker 6 (08:11):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (08:11):
I've never been in that situation. If you're not knowingly,
I don't know. I don't think so, oh you know.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
What about that time?

Speaker 4 (08:17):
And you know because I'm pretty sight. I give off
very heterosexual vibes.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
What about that time a sexual? Yeah, you're you're non
sexual to me. I don't give off any vide No,
but remember that time down. I'm going to work on
that down the spa with the dude in christ Church
and you were both nude and you'd had a few busies.

Speaker 5 (08:36):
This story is the same.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Story the first month of our show, I swear, and
I didn't never spa with him.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, you did spar yeah, remember mag of course I do.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, and you've been hitting the beers. Do you not
remember saying that?

Speaker 5 (08:55):
Nah? I don't. Man, far out did I say on
this podcast?

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, you're banging on about it. Yeah, there was shocking.
But anyway, so you're in a situation and you didn't
do it. Man, I was in a situation. Yeah, but
it was one of those things that you go, I
could see how this would happen. It was a very
well known New Zealand celebrity, right, okay, well known out No, no,
okay no, And it was like, oh, yeah, I could

(09:19):
see how this would happen. I mean, I'm not going
to do it, yeah, but I can see how it
would happen. But hot dude, but you know, hot dude,
but well certainly not a not hot like Jase. Yeah wow,
you know, not super masculine sort of thing. Yeah wow,
I mean Jason is super butcher, one of a million.

(09:40):
Do it for me when it comes to me, like
I like my men to be like woman.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, I was actually.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
Talking because when I think Butcher mean I think Jace
Buckshell for Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
The funny thing is I have a lot of feminine
I know I come across as massively manly, but I
actually have a lot of feminine quality.

Speaker 6 (10:00):
You sort of get into deeper like really moody and you.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Know, jeez, well, actually.

Speaker 6 (10:12):
You're going to.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Have to get used to me being moody. You and
your when I give up the darries, I'm not that
I give up the va.

Speaker 6 (10:20):
But that's different.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
But the problem with your moody, and this must be
a problem for you, it'd be different for your wife.
The problem with the moody that you've got is it's funny. Yeah, yeah,
that's the problem. Yeah, because.

Speaker 6 (10:38):
Yeah, neither to be honest.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
So Jase, I reckon, you should go for it, go
for what being in a dude. That's what this whole
podcast was about.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Do you remember Come on, man, it's nice though, yeah,
nice chat open chip.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
As I say, if that's you know were you lean
and go.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
For fill your boots man, Hey, listen to the Big
Show absolutely four to seven weekdays radio.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Almost regret it, almost regret not going through in it
because you didn't even know, kids that you might love it,
maybe you might be really good at it.

Speaker 6 (11:12):
How do you know?

Speaker 1 (11:12):
It's like you know, it's like an instrument or a
sport if you don't get involved in it, like you
even thought I'd like ballet or you could.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Be right now, drug me the greatest Formula one driver
in the world.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
You've ever been in that situation, right because I think
I wouldn't like it like beadfist, but I could.

Speaker 6 (11:30):
Be the best at it.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
So you've got to do it, Jason to go, man,
you should be the best in the world at a
number one

Speaker 5 (11:38):
Big Show four or seven
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