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December 8, 2025 12 mins

On today's poddy, good lord.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Year high there to all our loyal listeners out there
now listen, this is an absolute disclaimer for this podcast.
It's a shocker and I'm actually quite embarrassed about it.
And I also need to make the point I started.
It wasn't it wasn't Moggi's fault this time. It is
a shocker. If there's kids, don't play it all right?

(00:21):
For all you made bastards loving the Big Show podcast
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and ticked off
for raw douggets four to seven every weekdaydah Yeah, man,
I don't like the way you just threw down your
wallet then, Mogi, Oh really it rked of. I'm gonna

(00:44):
forget that, bastard. You literally sort of looked away and
chapped it on the desk there, and I went a bit, Mogi,
will forget that.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I appreciate you concern, but it's also sitting writing Smake Khaki,
so very difficult to leave without those Wow, I feel
good about that given your current form. Probably think that
I rode my bike and leave both of them behind.
Got new ones go on? He asked me, what you
know You've got some questions around there?

Speaker 3 (01:12):
No, just okay, wasn't two hundred bucks or something. Yeah,
I see you mentioned it last week.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
That it was more than that was. And I had
to get a key, and I had to get the
little beep beep thing, which I didn't have on my
last one.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Anyway, Bob, are you still right now going what the
fuck did I do with them? No?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
I'm pretty sure that I must have been checking in
the ben because we're still cleaning stuff up at the
new office, and it just got it, just got checked
in with it. Yeah. Good, dude, when you lose as
much shit as I do, you pretty pretty pretty quick.
You would have seen my new my new glasses. You're
not wrong, Jason's not fucking cheap. No, on the show. Probably.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yeah, sounds good because the thing I do were to
literally the exact same thing, is I leave my mug
and stuff out there and put my my car keys
on top.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Right, Yeah, so I have to you know, don't.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
You also have a cock ring and you hang the
keys off those, those off your ring and so that
when you come in you go whease and then hang
your keys on them and then off my cockran.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Sorry, I'm sorry, And can I just say that they
had nothing to do with fold.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
That was I apologize. Maybe we should even delete that.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
You're a shocking bastard mate that stays.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Well, you know, I was just telling I bought another
vape today, Maggie, and I'm fuming about it because I
got back from golf could not find my vape anywhere,
and I was like, I must have fucking dropped it somewhere,
searched all through the car, search the bench.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
What do they call it. There's something like vape anxiety
or vape panic or something when you can't find it.
There's some phrase for it, when you're and you're not
in your right state of mind.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well, this is the crazy thing. And I looked in
my car about five times.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Was the hanging out of your asshole ring?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
No, it was. It's definitely a disclaimer an asshole ring.
But here's the thing. Five times chick the bench, the couch,
every bench.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Over and over was on the bench.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
No, how many benches have you got?

Speaker 1 (03:34):
So I drive in after buying a new vape. We
go get out of the car, sitting right in the
middle of the passenger seat, right and I even ran
my hand over that. Yeah, like where is it? And
what the fuck is what?

Speaker 2 (03:50):
I think it is meant. I think that's further evidence
that we're in a simulation. Yes, I go through that
all the time, where I go with the and I
turn around and it is literally right where I've been looking.
But you would swear that it wasn't there a second ago. Yes,
and the computers just put it back there when your
head your head too, you'd be happy.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
That's never happened. It's never happened.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
It happens all the time.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
That thing, I don't know if you guys do this
as well. And my wife always finds it very amusing.
Is when I'm looking in the pantry for something and
I'll go, ah, where's the letter, where's the fucking marmite?
And I'll be steering, steering, steering, and she'll and my wife.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Every time, and it's right in front of your face.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
And she says, I bet it's right in front of you,
and it's like, I'm looking at it, it's not right
in front of me.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
And then you go, do you want me to have
a look? Well? I never This is why I never asked,
because I know it's right, and I know if I
call it, she's going to come straight and I look
like a complete fucking yet not yet.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Maybe it's something that will start ship. Maybe it is,
but seriously, that was bizarre. But it was right in
the middle. It was like, what the how did I
miss that?

Speaker 4 (05:00):
The whole Archy Big Show one days from four on
Radio Hiarchy.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
They Big Show Podcast. I had a pretty great discovery today.
I had a I had to get a new card
for our flat account kezy right now, Billsie's account and
stuff every day, these sort of things, And I could
have sworn I had one. In fact, I did that.
I knew I had one, but I lost it. I

(05:26):
couldn't find it, so I ordered a new one, which
turned up today, turned up today. So I've been but
I've been with that one for quite a long time
because I never delivered it. Then they delivered one for
the wrong account, just one thing after the other, the usual.
And then today I went to make the bed. What
is lying in the bed, in my fucking bed except

(05:51):
the card that I have not been able to find
for months, the old one. The old one is lying
where my ass would be in the sheet. And the
only thing I could think of is that my asshole
ring has come undone. But I swear to God that
cowboy was there. Now we have changed the sheets. How

(06:12):
many times I go to being naked? How the fuck
is this thing sitting there? And then so now it's
just okay, And now that that sort of thing happens ja, And.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
Have you ever okay, have you ever put your wallet
through the washing machine?

Speaker 2 (06:29):
No? And then in fact that and that is the
very first time I've ever lost my khakis in my life.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
That's that's because the cow like I'm trying to figure
out the logic behind the card being where your asses
and the bed other.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Than unbelievable, yea, it could have happened.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I don't know. And that's why I say, it's the
what do you call it?

Speaker 3 (06:49):
There? It's a glitch in the matrix?

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Like I say, I ran my handover. I ran my
hand over my car seat the passenger side, right, did they?

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (07:00):
So what the fuck is it doing sitting in the
middle of my car seat?

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Did you check the bench? Did you check all of
your benches? How many benches?

Speaker 3 (07:07):
If you I'm right on edge at the moment.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Because it could do you get like that where you
can't find your vapor and it gives panicky.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
No, No, I just get sort of no, I.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Don't around that. Nah, I might go for fox sake,
what have I done with it?

Speaker 3 (07:24):
But I get distracted by some vape. The black thing
that the whole black things that forty back.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
When it comes with a couple of things. That correct,
that's pretty good.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
It's cheap, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, well a peg which is fifty on back, dry
blasted for over the weekend.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yes, I can tell by your voice it was.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Good, but I think it's more than nap. I had
a nap today.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Doesn't sound as bad as it. Not bad, but way deeper.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, I haven't been getting I don't. Yeah, anyway, I
left that barbecue at nine o'clock. We left that barbecue,
the one you said it was going to be a biggie. Yeah,
that's right.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
What time you start?

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Got around there at three? Oh wow? So not bad
because if one had their kids, if I need to
go home. It was a bit of a power play,
but no one was steamed or anything like that.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
It was really good, right, so everyone sort of called
it at that point.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, oh wow, Yeah, yeah, it was really good. Oh
that's great, just great, it's really great. That's great, that's great.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Whereas Keysy was telling me. You had a.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
No, not really played gold.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Don't sound very nasiyly.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
No, I'm fine.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Played golf teet off at nine am, finished at one,
had a couple of beers.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
We had a bar for hours nine till one four hours.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
Oh, you're right, had a couple of beers at the
clubhouse and had a barbecue, had a few more beers,
was home and away.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, that that doesn't sound too bad at all.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
I mean I had a pretty quiet one two fields jays.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
That's not how I sound. And I don't have a
conquering all right.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
And then then it does a cocker and go through
the head of your penis, through the eye, through.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Your eyes, so as you if you're can imagine you're
steering down the barrel of Hodi J's cock and I've
got it now, it's about six inches away from Just
tighten your grip on it, kezy, just loosen off your
hand there.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
It doesn't make its way right.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
You could imagine that this piece of metal, which is
like a half a moon, like the crescent of the moon,
goes in the eye and then down through the bottom
out the bottom of No, no, just right, and the
just in your helmett. Oh my God, it's just straight
down the eye, straight down the eye, maybe it only

(09:45):
and it will go down through the bottom of the sea,
maybe ten to fifteen mils further back down the How
do you not?

Speaker 3 (09:57):
And this is you guys want to take He's going
to Cockerat.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Do you guys want to make a two hundred dollars
bet that Pugs has one?

Speaker 2 (10:07):
I think you probably have one in his life. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
The thing I don't get is, out of all the
things to pierce, why rest piercing the old downstairs fella?

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well, I think what does it do? And yeah, for really, I.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Know, I know that has never crossed your mind.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
But how does actually some of them enjoy it? A wring?

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, it's just it's like having condoms that are ribbed
for her pleasure. I saw one that's a different sensation condoms.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
A person that worked here showed us a dude that
a dude had sent her.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
And she used to work out. I won't mention her name.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
And the head was literally split, separated, separated, and I was.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Like, oh god, oh god.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
How was that?

Speaker 1 (10:54):
And she was intrigued by She was like, tell me
what's good about that? And his his answer was, we're
just that my pleasure is greater with bits flapping all
over the places like I just went, oh my god,
that's not it's not. I just want to apologize for

(11:15):
the audience has been a shocker and I started it.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
There's there's meat, potatoes, keesy straight down the middle, lights
on missionary, Yes, but then there's splitting your penis and
two with a cockering like it's somewhere in the middle
is a good spot to OK.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
So how long have you a cock ring?

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Make?

Speaker 2 (11:31):
About nine years?

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah that's good.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Wow, no rust or anything like that going on.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Stainless steels, come on, Brother's Steel and I've got my
bronze one. I've got one made out of luncheon sausage. Yeah, tobacco.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Funnily enough, my ones made out of bone. Yeah, a
whale bone.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Isn't it. You can't have whalebone, man, that's shocking, that's racist.
You're that's why your life is cursed.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Alight Hodie Jay's whalebone chowd rig Hey.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
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