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May 6, 2026 10 mins

On today's poddy, we're not sure how inappropriate that word is.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For all your mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
Get up even Closer.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok for dogget for to SIV
and every weekday on radio I'll get a.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hello, it's good.

Speaker 4 (00:19):
Stuff goes it's interesting, fellas. I've noticed something in myself today,
my urges would no, I do I have a would.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
You know what it is?

Speaker 5 (00:34):
Because I'm gross.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I've got no joy.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
In my life anymore.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
You do?

Speaker 3 (00:38):
So god.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Day, there's nothing your family and so I and this
is what my head did.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
My my body is going take a resk jase while
I run out.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
I've got right.

Speaker 5 (00:55):
That's funny. For the same thing.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
I've got a little bit of money sitter side, and
I'm getting twitchy fingers because I'm going I want to
go high risk, put it down on something and just
let it roll.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
What are you talking about, like.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Not like gambling, like investments?

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Oh wow, good, So I want to start investing, but you.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Know, put a put a reasonable watch down.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
But then I look at the world and I go,
it's all about to fucking explode.

Speaker 5 (01:31):
So that's a dumb move.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
But it's what it is.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
Is my urges are you know, being extreme trying to
come out.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
You know you should do with that money's go on
a holiday. No, well, I mean, why would you put
that all into a high risk stock. It's like, well,
you can take a two week holiday and take your
family and have a really nice time.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
Yeah, well, do you need the money that would come
from the you live on the smell of an early
ragg as it is. I don't think you need more money.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
No, But it's the point I was trying to make,
was that poorly was that you know that part of
me that goes come on fellows, take a risk, let's
have a bit of fun.

Speaker 5 (02:13):
Here over and as Yeah, that's.

Speaker 6 (02:18):
Not it because if you do, like, I don't see
the point of putting heaps of money into styles because,
as Maggie says, you run on the smell of a
mungreg So it's like, why would you.

Speaker 5 (02:28):
Taste I'm not saying I would.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
I'm just saying it's interesting as being self aware of.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
How my how my brain works.

Speaker 6 (02:39):
Come on, man, it must be what about a bungee jump?
Oh wait, nokizy will just do it.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
It's like I'm having a third coffee today and I
say to my wife, you know another coffee daring and
she's like, oh no, I've had enough, and I'm.

Speaker 5 (02:51):
Like, come on, let's go.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's like, is that where I've got to? Now? Where?

Speaker 4 (02:58):
You know? My all aside is having a fair coffee sack?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Not not particularly that's good.

Speaker 5 (03:07):
I have moments, yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
It's when I just did I just think of something
else and have a babe and then my friends.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Yeah, I'll go and have a vape. But no, my
wife said to me, I'm looking bloody good at the moment.

Speaker 5 (03:20):
Really, yeah, you start vaping and she starts lying, I know.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
What it is. She's just quit a job.

Speaker 5 (03:27):
Jason's looking very good.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, what are you suggesting, Kezy?

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well that she needs you to look good and feel
like she thinks you look.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Good because you're the one bringing home the bacon.

Speaker 6 (03:38):
Yeah, true, true, And you're gonna go and split looking good.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
That was you know. There's life insurance and stuff like that.
She'll be fine if I carket.

Speaker 5 (03:49):
It's like money or not.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
It's neither here nor there whether I look good or not.
You hang around the fact exactly does it.

Speaker 6 (03:56):
Does it impact? Like will she get paid out that much?
Because you do run on the taste of a mongrag.
Is it like will she even get that much? Or
will it be will it be like, here's one hundred
bucks to cover Hoodie Jay's expensive for the next one.

Speaker 5 (04:07):
Well, the trouble that he's got is that the life
insurance will be tired directly. There'll be there'll be a
line in there, a question of there are you a smoker?

Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (04:18):
Now, the problem is, of course that Jace will have
lied and said no, he's not, because technically he's vaping.
But it's a line nonetheless, and so they really know that,
and they won't pay out a cent. That's my prediction.
That's true.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
None of it's true. I said I'm a smoker, did
you yes? When I got life insurance? And that was
that was, you know, quite a while ago, while I
was smoking, and I don't smoke anymore, but I haven't
changed it.

Speaker 6 (04:45):
The Whocky Big Show week days from four on Radio Hurarchy.

Speaker 5 (04:50):
Remember the Wracky Big Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I said, the front keezy bloody Nora.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Jason is so bad that do you know why we'd
here we go because.

Speaker 6 (05:03):
The whole time she's looking at the beautiful woman.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Great of course, because we're doing a job here.

Speaker 6 (05:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he spends the whole time looking
at her, then starts saying eyes to the front, turns
to me and says, locked in on Jason.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
But but no, I was truthful on that.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
I said I'm a smoker, because I mean, don't take
one look at my fucking lungs. And you know, there's
no way this guy wasn't a smoker.

Speaker 6 (05:31):
They might look at it and then go hang on,
but they started to come right there. This must be
the keasy, the kesy factor.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
They're going to again looking at the rings of it.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Did I did get a what a really strong waft
of cigarette today and it was like.

Speaker 5 (05:46):
I did two Actually, when I was walking into work,
he was ringing one out of the half eight in
the morning. I was like, no, it's too early, man. Yeah,
I normally i'd agree with you, but because I haven't
been doing it very much and smelling, and it was, yes, Jesus, you're.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Going to have a couple of daries over and brizzy
they're keezy.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
I'm going to have to take my I know, I
know you will anyway, Yes, but I'm going to take
mine over there because they are terrible, the adults over there.
There's ship yeah. So you know what is it called smuggle?

Speaker 6 (06:21):
Smuggle your ones over well, they got different ones to hear,
yeah right.

Speaker 5 (06:25):
Because they've got their own factories over there, and they're shit,
You're right, So I had to find a good dat yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
And it was like who was I talking to over there?

Speaker 4 (06:34):
It was like mind you they were buying the not
the black market ones, but they're really.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Cheap, yeah, the Chinese.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
The Chinese.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
Yes, not that Chinese people are cheap, not at all.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
But they were saying they were like twelve bucks fifty
year pack.

Speaker 5 (06:51):
And I was like, yeah, I remember going through a
few different ones over there to so actually I did
the same in Europe because I had that cough.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
I remember you.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
I remember you buy them the last time we were
over there when we were in the airport, remember, and
they were.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
Ship and and then I got rollies over there one
of the years. And when I got either. So I'm
going to have to take rollies and tailies because I
know I'll be a scam and bastard. I'm going to
have to say, no, you have to get your own. Y.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Can I have a drry?

Speaker 5 (07:22):
Come on, Maggie, man, there's nothing worse CASEY put your
pants on.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
The bloodging non smokers to a smoker.

Speaker 5 (07:31):
Yeah, I didn't mind it back in the day, but
now that it's exactly it's not cool. It's not cool. Man,
You're a shocking bastard. I think your own pecket.

Speaker 6 (07:41):
I think I might have done it like three times
in my life.

Speaker 5 (07:44):
What bludge to dart? Yeah, so you've had three cigarettes
in your life. Have spent their whole life doing that?

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah? Right, and it's annoying. I can imagine it would
be annoying.

Speaker 6 (07:55):
I'm a kind of little paint back though, Like if
you ever need a dart, I'll bump into but you
haven't got any?

Speaker 5 (08:01):
Yeah, have you got some?

Speaker 4 (08:04):
Man?

Speaker 5 (08:05):
Ten sleeps?

Speaker 4 (08:07):
But it does look like you know, I'm going to
be doing my own stuff over there as well as
a bit of rugby league. I'll watch the one, but
I'm going to musicals. I'm going on a boat cruise.
I'm going to galleries.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Shouldn't we talk about this on the ear?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
I'm going to love it.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
That actually sounds lovely. Mate by a group of dudes
and warriors, Jess.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
I'm a hard core I'm a hard core CD boy now,
oh yeah, I know how to handle the inner cities.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (08:39):
And plus you've only that much spinning money because you
run on the smell of the taste of among.

Speaker 5 (08:42):
Yeah, that's true, the taste of Imagine if you had
a home invasion and people bardged, and you know they're
tying you up because they're robbing the house, and then
to keep you quiet, they grabbed a hold of your
mung rag and stuff that in your mouth to keep
you quiet.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Does anyone that you ran away?

Speaker 3 (08:59):
You've got a way and you're running and people.

Speaker 5 (09:03):
Look at him.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Go do people actually have those things? Yes, that's disgusting.

Speaker 5 (09:10):
When do you wipe it? And you're here?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Well, as I say, I like to preserve my seed.

Speaker 5 (09:16):
Don't look at me like that. Pugs.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
No, you're not like these filthy bastards with the mung ray.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
I don't have a mud.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Come on, man, I'm sure, but your wife is disgusted
by that.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
You're going to say that, just put it on the
where do you put it?

Speaker 1 (09:31):
One table?

Speaker 3 (09:33):
I put it inside my testicles where it belongs.

Speaker 5 (09:35):
All right.

Speaker 6 (09:36):
That's for father and children and your children and that's
the children's Yeah, okay, because that's what God invented seed
to make babies until you need it.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I don't all right, m hmmm.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Is this going to be the next line of did I?
I don't even want to.

Speaker 5 (10:00):
It? When you're stumbled upon the gold?

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Is it the Is it the taste of a of
a mung rag like a smell?

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Yeah, he runs on the smell of an oily mung rag.
It's a good say.

Speaker 6 (10:17):
Hey, listen to the Big Show full or seven weekdays
hold agains
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