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February 10, 2026 12 mins

On today's poddy, we're just genuinely intrigued.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Killd Up's pugs here, just voicing a quick disclaimer ahead
of this podcast, because these three buffoons figured that it
wasn't appropriate to do one. I'll let you take that
up with them, but just a few kids in the
car just be weary. There's some themes in here that
are not appropriate for young years. Otherwise, have a beautiful day.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Thanks for listening.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
For all you med bastards loving the Big Show podcast.
Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and tick off
for raw targets for to siln every weekday on radio
rack here, get a fellas, get a fellows. Hello, how
we all go? And we good?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
She's a hot bastard today.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Boys, it's pretty steamy, wasn't it pretty weird?

Speaker 4 (00:46):
I've got this weird, weird rash on my elbow at
the moment.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Oh you think you've got a weird rash? You got
a weird dick?

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Can I look at your dick? Keezy will show me?

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Ony man, that's a rash to check out my penis? Man,
But now that's fun. What are you saying that?

Speaker 4 (01:04):
I Are you saying that I caught my rash off
your penis?

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I don't know, man, I hope not for your sake.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I've got a thing on my chin. It's not a rash,
is it testicles, but it's a It bleeds quite badly.
Oh would I bump it. It's almost like I've got
glass in there or something under the skin, under the skin,
and every now and then it breaks through again and
bleeds again. That Jason's said this said before sometimes when

(01:30):
we touch.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Because you probably can't say.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
Whenever I shave, I nicked the thing, and the makeup
lady was telling me some blood vessels are really close
to the surface and they you nick them constantly, and
so constantly pisses blood.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
It could be that.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Could be, could be, that could be that we don't
know outside of the fact that I haven't had a
shave for a week and it started bleeding today for
no reason.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Wow, that is weird.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, I happened recently as well. If you're strapping on your.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
Chin, man, are you scratching it or anything to You're
just it's spontaneously that started.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I think with the stubble that it sort of aggravates.
I don't know what the story is. Jason. Recently again
and seven years ago, I got to go to the door.
I think it's a dormer. Why Douma that Dilma? It's
like T T Sri Lanka. Yeah, finer's my tea. Okay,
you would have seen the ad and you did the

(02:25):
try it.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
I mean that's all that's all right, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
That's a that's an impression of the head. Are you
allowed to do an impression of an ad? You're allowed
to do an impression of every single ad except people
that have got.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
Well, give me another ad and I'll do an impression.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
I would care that you did an excent. We should
ask him.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
I don't know, but I'm certainly not going to risk it.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
The terrible thing about the Delma teas is they're not true.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
What they're not a family that you know me.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
And my no, because apparently it's a big issue.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
You now just the way you do it, because you
deal with hate in your hand.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
Shit, it's a venom so born in nineteen eighty five,
first producer owned T brand, named after founder Mirror J.
Fernando's two sons, Dianna and Malick Kilmar.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
So, what's right? What are you making up about it? Well?

Speaker 4 (03:19):
I heard that they it was from the family thing.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
At all that is?

Speaker 3 (03:24):
And who do you hear that from? Some worries you
some guy at the urinal? Yeah maybe maybe there.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
You go and put that one to rest.

Speaker 5 (03:31):
Okay, So just from the chat Fellers Keys's time travel. Yeah,
I was reading a book, I'm pretty sure, and I
read this book, hang on?

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Was it a mang what do they called big pictures manga?

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Manga?

Speaker 3 (03:47):
A comic with buy I read this book sixteen years ago?

Speaker 2 (03:50):
That sounds more like it. Was it Lord of the Fly.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
Smith Longer Longer, probably seventeen eighteen with my high school girlfriend,
like loved reading and always wanted to read books. She
gave me a You probably heard about the time Traveler's wife.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Wife around about the time that the movie came out.
It was jack Man, that's right, Hugh Jackman. H Jackman.

Speaker 5 (04:14):
And in that book, it's a certain point, I'm pretty
sure if I'm misremembering it, the dude goes back in
time and visits his like slightly younger self and then
like beats himself off.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Is that why you and your girlfriend read it? Scene
and beat yourself off?

Speaker 5 (04:33):
Trust me, at that age I would have been cracking
up about it, and she would have been going all like, oh,
you're like taking the wrong meaning you're discussing. But it
was like, for some reason that pops up in my
head every now and then. It's like, if you go
back in time and you visit yourself from you, would
you have a gir I mean, because you've had a
got yourself before?

Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yeah, what does it matter if it's you from the future.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, you know what, I probably wouldn't.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
No, neither would I because I think even confronting myself
as a future you would.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well there's the first thing on the cards for all kezy.
Do you know why I wouldn't do it Because I
wouldn't be able to feel it. I'd only be able
to feel if I ject myself off.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
But you in the future, Yeah, you in the present
day is having a pleasurable experience knowing that in a
year's time you will pay it forward back to yourself.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Right, I'll be on the other end of this, So
you'll be going back to something to jack myself off.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
There's something really disgusting about it, is it? But is it?

Speaker 4 (05:30):
But also didn't he every time he went back, he
would be naked.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, something like that.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
He'd wake up, he'd wake up in a strange place
and be new there was quantum leap.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
I'm going to be honest, you guys didn't watch a
show called no Week.

Speaker 5 (05:46):
I read half the book and then didn't read Reject yourself,
and the inject got to the jacking off, but jacked off,
and then that was it.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
The question is ideas, and not that it matters one
way or the other. But are you gay if you
jet yourself off? In a time hypothetical.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Show days from four on Radio Hurdarchy The Big Show podcast.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
So you're saying he's going back in time and literally
jacking his younger self.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
That's what did you think?

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Conversation?

Speaker 3 (06:14):
You're saying, I went back in time and they just
had had a beat.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, he went back into time, he was himself himself
and then went in there and jacked himself off and
made himself watch.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Oh no, what the hell?

Speaker 2 (06:24):
The hell of a picture?

Speaker 3 (06:26):
So weird?

Speaker 4 (06:29):
Man, I was confused by what you were saying.

Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure in the book that he
does that. I know I could be wrong, okay, but
I'm pretty sure. I remember being like, is that weird?
Or is that is that question aloud?

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Now? What Is it gay?

Speaker 3 (06:42):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
No, I'm saying, is that question aloud? Do you know
what I'm saying? Because that is an interesting question. If
you go back in time and you beat yourself off.

Speaker 5 (06:54):
Is that gay? I don't think so. I don't think
it is because it's yeah, yeah, yeah, it's you from
a year.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
But I wouldn't matter if it was. I want to know,
bully for you.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
What's it?

Speaker 4 (07:06):
What the person being you being jacked off by you
was thinking?

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yes, you're yes?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
And how come you're fully into it?

Speaker 5 (07:16):
What's just you're just paying As I said, you're just
paying forward like one day one day, you're just sitting there.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
This is the weirdest conversation with.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Can you get pegs in on this chip?

Speaker 1 (07:27):
You?

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Can you tap into this check? Can you use your microphone?
Does that? We? I mean that's better when you stay
out there.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
We didn't want you coming in Pegs.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Come on, what do you think about that? Pig? Hold on?

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Hold on, hold on, hold.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Pose me the question?

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Please?

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Would you go back to your younger self and time
travel and jack yourself out?

Speaker 2 (07:50):
And if it doesn't make you go.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Great, great question, because this is.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Not that it's a bad thing I'm just wondering if qualifies.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, and that's totally fine. Your curiosity is totally.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Because you're quite sexually curious.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, I'm curious about the answer for this.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
I think we should rather this as a big pole
is checking off another man. The other man is you.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Because the other thing is from my point of view,
I'm just sitting there, I'm imagining in my I'm in
my bedroom. You're doing a bit of doing a bit
of work, my laptop and my bedroom, and then I
walk in. I walk in, but I'm an older, probably
less attractive vision of myself, old, an older man. I'm shocked.
Initially we get to chatting and I'm thinking of myself,

(08:47):
Jesus gotta get it. But then he brings it up
some here and I'm like, no, I don't think so,
I'm not horny enough. Yeah. Now it depends when I
when he comes back and sees me. I had a
dry period when I was about twenty two twenty three.
If he caught me on the right day, absolutely I

(09:08):
would have been down for a bit of kissing as well.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
But can I but hang on, hang on here, the
time traveler's wife when he goes when he goes back.
There's not two of them, it's just him but younger.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Oh right, so is he just himself? There's an additional
he just goes back into himself. Well, I think I
think we've I think we're that there's been an evolution
of the thought chase. So I don't really care about
the top I'm never going to watch it and I'm
never going to read it, but I need to have
an answer to this question.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Are you sure, Jason? Yes, Where the hell did I
get that he beat himself on from?

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Well, because you're a piece of did you mind?

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Key sick son of a bee? That's okay? Wrong with that,
It's all okay.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
They also actually made a series of The Time Traveler's Wife,
which was terrible.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
I can imagine, really bad.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
But no, he goes back and inhabits his younger self.
But what and he looks at himself in the mirror
and goes, okay, that's I'm there.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
It's like a quantum leap situation. And then he beats off.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
You can beat himself off.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
What is the point of doing that as your younger
self as opposed to doing it as your older like?
Is it like an ice cream list? Melted scenario.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
It was in my mind when I asked two of you.
But you're saying it's not that. No to move on
from that? That moving on? Why would he do that?

Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's right?

Speaker 4 (10:38):
What would be the attraction for either party?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
I don't know, guys, I don't know what is saying.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Has has thinking that he's put into it when he
imagined a completely different scenario to what was profit in
the book. Is that you might as well because then
you get to pat forward. You get a free handy.
It's the way that Keyesy is looking at It's a
free handy rich from yourself, but better than that.

Speaker 5 (11:03):
But also it's not like you just have to make
eye contact and be stirred, like you can just like,
all right, how I'm gonna do this?

Speaker 3 (11:08):
You do whatever you want, you know what I mean? Like,
you don't have to be sitting in front of me,
and I.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Think I think as Pegs is, you might as well
go the whole back. Then you have to show a
sitting amount of enthusiasm. I think it's different.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Guys, Can we shut this down?

Speaker 2 (11:21):
You've always wanted to?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Can I just say going back in time and checking
yourself off?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Do try it?

Speaker 5 (11:33):
Hey, so I hope you've enjoyed the episode of the podcast.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Absolutely on the same page, but on opposite sides. No
disclaim again and get them around the question it is.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
If you want to edit a sclab, I think I
will do you know how much?

Speaker 2 (11:53):
So much? There's so many things that I would do
before I would check chat. I'll be like, what do
what happens in the future, There'll be a lot of conversations.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
You want to establish a report, No, no, no, just
be I'll beat your first no answer whatever.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Questions when you're quick, when you're related, Harry, Harry, you
gotta beat me off.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Your future, your future depends on it. And then you
trick them into it. That's shocking from you page. You
can't do that, man, And then you illegal see now
you're breaking, you're breaking. We're going to need to disclaim.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
There's nothing wrong.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Rage.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
I encourage it, all right, Thanks for listening. I'd like
your big show four or seven weekdays. God
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