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May 11, 2026 12 mins

On today's poddy, don't be a wanker.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
No for all you bastards.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Show podcasts get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Seven every weekday on radio read Hello, I like how
we've got an intro to the party.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Now?

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yeah, we do we change the name of the podcast
or get a fellow's backbone?

Speaker 5 (00:26):
Hello, Hello, there would be a good name for a podcast. Yes,
it's very good, fellowe Hello.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Gotta tell you what.

Speaker 6 (00:33):
We went away for the week fucking picking a podcast
sometimes got It's a pain in the ass. My wife
and I driving up to the batch must have spent
three quarters of an hour fucking around with podcasts.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
We were halfway there by the time we found one.

Speaker 5 (00:49):
Why don't you listen to some deaf tones.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Because she's not really into the deaf tones?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Real hard out sexual one on again?

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh you what was the Secret One?

Speaker 5 (01:00):
Yeah, you missed that mag The Secret One.

Speaker 6 (01:03):
It's this podcast where people ring up and they're anonymous
and they tell us they've ripped off us.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
They tell a.

Speaker 6 (01:13):
Secret that they've never told anyone before, and it's actually
a really good concept. And my wife is like, it's
really good because you're they're totally anonymous and.

Speaker 5 (01:23):
You've never heard it before.

Speaker 6 (01:24):
And I'm not and anyway, so my wife and my
daughter was in the car. So my wife said, oh,
let's do that one.

Speaker 5 (01:30):
That's quite good.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
And so so this podcast started. My daughter in the back, and.

Speaker 6 (01:39):
This nineteen year old girl started off with you I think,
Oh no, she was about twenty by then. She said,
I think I was about eighteen or nineteen when I
first got into ass play. And there was a pause,
and my daughter in the back was like, did she
just say ass play?

Speaker 3 (01:58):
And then it went into her talking about her fascination
with us play and I'm not looking, and we all.

Speaker 6 (02:04):
Just cracked up and we're okay, maybe not maybe not secret.

Speaker 5 (02:10):
Let's can it? Can it? Fellas?

Speaker 6 (02:14):
I was nearly reduced to doing our podcast, but then
she wouldn't want to listen to that either.

Speaker 5 (02:19):
You know, but she already listens anyway.

Speaker 6 (02:20):
No, she doesn't mean funny story yesterday fail because you know,
I know you had a big weekends and you're feeling
you there.

Speaker 7 (02:30):
We are feel good to go, Fellas, Yeah, you're good
to go. I'm good for content.

Speaker 5 (02:33):
Man. So my wife and I.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Were going up for dinner last night, just into town
there dumplings. No, we ended up getting something like a
bang Bang Chicken Sealing.

Speaker 5 (02:44):
Are obsessed with Asians.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
Were we can't seem to break the Asian grip we have.

Speaker 5 (02:50):
On Korean for lunch today. Yeah, very nice.

Speaker 6 (02:54):
Yes, it's everywhere bill Gogi. But maybe you guys can
help me with this. So we're walking down towards past
the town hall, right and these and it's dark, and
there's four dudes and they're running and they're shouting, and
my wife and I are like, hang on, what's going
on here?

Speaker 5 (03:15):
Anyway?

Speaker 6 (03:15):
They run past us and they go up to you
know where the car parkers next to the town hall,
and this dude and I hear this guy go, oh,
there he is, there he is. And this dude turns
up in a scooter and this is right in front
of us, right, and these four dudes and the guy
on the scooter, and there's a transaction that goes on
and it's not a transaction that's food orientated. It's some

(03:39):
and the guy on the scooter, you know, who was
relatively dodgy looking dude, as were the dudes that were
talking to him. They exchanged a little package and we
were like, okay.

Speaker 5 (03:50):
What's that about? What was going on there? Anyway?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
You call the cops.

Speaker 6 (03:55):
We go, no, of course not man. We peep each
to their own kisa. We go and have dinner for
about forty five minutes. We come back without a word
of a lie, and these four dudes a lying on
the steps by the town hall fucking out to it.
Really not not they were, they were conscious, but they

(04:18):
were all displayed like spread eagle wow, lying on these
concrete steps, not a not an utterance from them, And.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
We were like, what are They're an amazing turnam?

Speaker 3 (04:28):
What the fuck did they just take? What were they
just pecking up? And they just went.

Speaker 5 (04:35):
Acid? It would have.

Speaker 6 (04:39):
And it would take longer to sort of kick in,
but whatever it was, it was fucking strong.

Speaker 5 (04:44):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (04:44):
Well maybe they maybe they just had a big doobie
or something, But even then you wouldn't be you'd be more.

Speaker 7 (04:51):
Isn't that funny seeing the start in the end of
that little journey. Yes, and you just cut out the
middle bit there.

Speaker 5 (04:55):
All you needed to know was what was that guy's
phone number? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (04:59):
It as we were and then we were speculating, I mean,
they must be all over the joint. Yeah, fuck you,
the scooter, these little drug runs everywhere.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
They're probably fucking everywhere in Amsterdam.

Speaker 7 (05:10):
There's a certain type of bike that looks quite similar
to the bike we've got that we're giving away. If
you see people on their bike, everyone calls them the
drug dealer bikes, right, because everyone on those bikes is
a drug dealer and they're just everywhere. They're going around
every and puffer vest giving out you know, the good ship, the.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Good ship Man.

Speaker 7 (05:28):
We're asked over the weekend because they're at the pub
in this country town. This lady comes up, she's, oh,
what are you guys here for? Just you guys gotta
need cocaine, She's put it would have been like mid forties,
and we're like, oh no, she's okay, I was tell
that you guys said cocaine.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
I just want to get some cocaine. And it's like,
how good? Okay sweet, So straight up front, Yeah it
was cocaine. Interesting, a few interesting interactions in that pub.

Speaker 5 (05:52):
But what did you lie to it?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I was all gone, buggie ah right.

Speaker 5 (05:56):
Yeah, yeah, bone, but you might.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Just want to get a little just yeah, just to
get you know, the whole.

Speaker 7 (06:07):
Racking Big Show one days from four on Radio Hurarky.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Remember the Wracky Big Show.

Speaker 7 (06:14):
Podcast have you guys said this, You probably haven't because
you don't go to pubs as much. You don't go
out to pubs as much anymore. It's not ours play, moggy.
There's a new thing, and it's the youngest, the younger
generation do it. People that are like twenty. They come
up to you with your phone out recording you. It's
happened to me a few times. Young fella comes up,
Keezy be just film right in my face. Yes, a

(06:35):
few people have done that to me. Have they done
it to you?

Speaker 5 (06:37):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (06:38):
And all the guys I'm with who are like mid thirties,
like my age, they all couldn't believe it. They were like,
they could just fucking come up and just start filming
your face and yelling at you.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
And I was like, yeah, and so I wouldn't.

Speaker 5 (06:49):
I wouldn't, I know.

Speaker 7 (06:50):
But the problem was it was just like I'm in
a pub full of all these and it was just
like the last thing I wanted that guy to have
a video of me, being like, can you fuck off?

Speaker 5 (06:56):
Mate? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
You know what I mean. It's a precarious business. And yeah,
it was very interesting. And then we're chatting about it afterwards,
like funk.

Speaker 7 (07:04):
That's rude.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
It's really it's interesting.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
First, very positive, you know, you know.

Speaker 5 (07:09):
Well out you don't do that. Yeah, rude and really rude.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
And also what's coming out now is that you having
the Google glasses where you can't see it, and now
they're just putting them into any old glasses. You can
just adapt them. And so there needs to be a
rule on that where those are illegal. You shouldn't be
able to go around just recording everybody. So normal glasses,
oh right, okay, and then the frame of the glasses
are lenses, and so people are just recording you all

(07:34):
of the time and all of your interactions and you've
got absolutely no idea about it, and then they can
just check it up on social media and it's all good.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
What is the what is the guts with that? In
terms of.

Speaker 5 (07:46):
You can do whatever the fuck you want?

Speaker 4 (07:47):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Really?

Speaker 6 (07:48):
You could just take a video forever and just post it.

Speaker 7 (07:51):
Yeah, and then they might have to like do legal
action against you to get rid of it or something, right,
but also if they don't know who was it, uploaded
it through a burner account or who the fuck knows? Yes,
but I just thought it's an interesting way that younger
generation are interacting.

Speaker 5 (08:03):
Yeah, but yeah, it is, it is.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
I was very like, ah, it's massively well yeah, but
I don't realize that it's rude.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
So that's why your smack moment.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
I certainly and he wouldn't make anybody would have been
in life, but yeah.

Speaker 7 (08:22):
Especially yeah, yeah, this is the thing as well as
like when you're people really want to get videos of you,
like hammered and ship I've noticed, and then that's getting
sent around about you, and so it's just like a
kind of makes.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
You not want to be yeah, hammered around people.

Speaker 5 (08:39):
But yeah, not go out awesome.

Speaker 6 (08:40):
Yeah, I've been in a situation where like people someone
has asked me if they could do a little video
and I've gone yeah, but then all their mates around
them are taking videos.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah you know what I mean, And you're sort of going, oh, well,
at least it.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Was just going to be a video between you and
one partner. You've got all the bed, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 6 (09:05):
That's different, you know, but I have a rule keep
it above the waist feels right, you know, because I
don't want my.

Speaker 5 (09:10):
Dude everywhere everywhere.

Speaker 6 (09:13):
But just on the drug thing, it was interesting because
that only really happened to me once in Vietnam, where
I got offered drugs but old pugsan do not do
it in Vietnam and was telling me, Yeah, whatever I
was offered lot fucking I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Heroin, I've got harsh penalties over there.

Speaker 5 (09:28):
Yeah, so don't do heroin oka.

Speaker 6 (09:31):
In Vietnam, and Pak was saying he had quite a
lot of that and heroin. I guess, I guess because
he looks like, you know, not that he was accepting it,
but he got approached by with all his crazy tats
and you know, his wacky ships and.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, and there's a lot of that too.

Speaker 7 (09:49):
While we're in Portugal and stat all those places, there's
constant people, yeah, offering you and you just don't know
what the fuck it does him and have a test
of this.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
It's like, cool, I'm just going to snort a random thing.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
Yeah, I'll put it in Las Vegas. How to go
with sugar?

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, so you did have some with sugar I'm talking
about Yeah, naughty.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Hey, naughty.

Speaker 7 (10:15):
Holy Then when first man flies, Yeah, being on about
your week this week feels magic crown. I I already
told you this smoke because we've seen each other today.
But I woke up at three am on Saturday, halfway
between hangover and drunk and the shittiest airbnb beard freezing cold,
and I was just like, I don't know if I
can go to Magic Ground. Then I woke four hours

(10:37):
later to the sound of someone either taking a mess
of ship or throwing up in the toilet, and then
I was like, I know that's right.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I'll have my own room and it'll be fine.

Speaker 5 (10:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
You know, when you go through glimpses of life, maybe
I should.

Speaker 5 (10:46):
Never drink everything.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, Yeah, But then a few hours lad you're sweeting.

Speaker 6 (10:50):
And there's nothing worse than the sort of two or
three o'clock wake up.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, where the sort of hangover is actually kicked in
and you're.

Speaker 5 (10:58):
Like, oh, I had a few jars on Friday night
with the misters there.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yes, and because and it's I'm actually I think it's
lucky that I have to be honest, I because I
even drink for so long, but I've had those elbows,
those margaritas, those things.

Speaker 5 (11:13):
Which normally.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
They're not even alcohol. You normally just drink them to
keep you occupied before you start drinking. Yes, And they
normally do absolutely nothing.

Speaker 5 (11:21):
I had three. I was pissed. Yeah, I had my
first seven. I was like, these are strong where it
was like when I'm drinking it's water. Yeah, So it
was like like is this are you going to you
all good? Are you going to be all good?

Speaker 6 (11:38):
Yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Those rt ds, you know, particularly those body.

Speaker 5 (11:44):
Ones, Yeah, nothing in them.

Speaker 6 (11:48):
Yeah, and it's just soda, water and bullshit.

Speaker 5 (11:51):
Anyway, I had five. It's a good time. It's good
your mate.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Hey, listen to the show full of seven weekdays. Hold up.
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