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May 4, 2026 12 mins

On today's poddy, you can't say that, Keyzie.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You guys ready to go?

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yeah man, for all you med bastards loving the Big
Show podcast Get up even Closer.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok for doggies for to seven
Every weekday on radio.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
On Today, Fillersgbone Hello, Hello, how's everyone going good? He great?

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Great things? Man?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Excellent?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Man, you're fucking excellent. Why are you excellent?

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Because I've got this Friday off.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Oh that's right, You're going away golf tournament.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, really, yeah, I can't wait.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
It's gonna be exciting. And then next week I've got
Friday off again because we've got a magic round. Yeah, man,
fucking how good man, I'm.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Very excited about it. Actually, I can't wait. I actually
am about what going to Brizzy.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh you're saying keys again away for a golfing.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
I mean I'm pretty excited about that as well.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I don't know why you'd be excited, just that Pugstun'll
be coming, you know.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
I don't want to get onto the whole golf chat now.
He's playing a tournament three straight games and actual fat.
My wife said to me today, what's happened with your goalf?

Speaker 3 (01:05):
And did you say, oh, I've still got a membership
and can easily go out and play whenever I want.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, it's not the same when you're by yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
You don't have to be by yourself. You know a
lot of people that play golf. There's Jeremy Corbett, There's
a whole bunch of different people. But you make no effort,
do you so.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Well Corby, as he says, gets bored after like six.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Holes, But you have never gone out and play where
you haven't payed with them for over twenty years. If
you have it all, not with a shot.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I don't know that I ever have. Actually, Yeah, and
he's not really Maniah he It.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Would just be weird just you and Meniah there.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, because we have quite a sort.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Of combative racist relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well just tenuous, right, you know, he like him. He
takes offense at some of the things I say.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Right, the racist stuff, mainly mostly.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
The racist stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
But you know, yeah, it is interesting because he doesn't
go and play golf either.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
No, it's like everyone just for me to text and
be like, hey, do you want to go play golf?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well that's actually isn't it. That's actually not true because
I'll text you and you'll go jas can you not
pressure me about golf?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
There is that you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
And it's like, I'm not pressuring you, man, I'm just
asking well.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
To be honest.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
I'm free to play golf this Thursday, but I didn
have three games of gol Friday, Saturday and Sunday practice.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, you want to get your ship game out.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Of the No you don't.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
You do not want to do that, You'll be I'll
be golfed out right, all golfed out, mog you heard
that saying.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Nah, I don't move in the right circles?

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Well, would you come and play with me, magie?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
No, you could take the laptop round and do it.
I would, I would, actually, Jane, Yeah, okay I would.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
I will book kill in.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, good, yeah, I would. I've got to start doing that,
so let's do that.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Okay, good, good, there you go, Keysy, You've got another
date now. I don't need you, man.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Sweet, I can't wait to see what you guys get
up to.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Is hating this?

Speaker 3 (03:02):
I think it will happen.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Probably.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
It's probably fair Thursday for you, man.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Thursday is really good, mogie great.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
I was like, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Old book a t time. It like sixth eighty in
the morning or something like that. You know, we get
a good start to the day. Oh blaze right, Okay,
my wife's dole a new job. Yes today today.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
It's a good thing.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's a great thing. Yeah, it's a really good thing. Yes,
it's good to live on two incomes. Tell about compared
to one in came especially when she makes more money
than me. Yeah, you know you know what I mean, Phils, Yes,
I do know what you mean. I'm we're about to
be a one income family. You are you're in deep
ship Yeah, you're up ship creek pedal, but your home pedal.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
I've made some good I've made some good investments and
I've got my dog squad money.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
When does that run out?

Speaker 2 (04:05):
By the way, what I just doesn't ever seem to
Keyzy must.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Be about Judah get another season or some kind of acting.
You've been in the dold room.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
No, it's it's all over the old dog squad in
the front Feller's come on, she's.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Got a limp, limpy McGee, what is something wrong.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
With She's not allowed to have a limp.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
You can't someone that's got a limp.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
First of all, noting anyway she's walking. I was, and
then I was like, oh wow, she's limping. Yeahs, anyway,
what do you call that?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Keyzy? There a sketch. I always wanted to do a sketch,
always wanted to do for a TV show.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
But now you couldn't drawing or right, okay, have someone
with a funny walk.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well, yeah, the street. It was back in the day
when these things would have been acceptable, right, yes, and
now you wouldn't be able to well I can't quite
remember it, but it would be those a woman. There's
a woman and she's carrying a really heavy suitcase and
she's really struggling with it. But she's an absolute stunner,
like the one that you just can't take your eyes off,

(05:07):
the one you're not even listening to me, Joe's look
at them. There's nothing on going going on, my man. Anyways,
she's sort of struggling along the street. She's got a
suitcase full of bricks, and she walks it all the
way up to the old light sat across the road.
She's really struggling with the barstard there and she puts
it down and the sky and sees it's that holy yeah. Girl,
might ask her if she wants me to give her

(05:28):
a hand and she doesn't. There's no talking in it.
So it goes over and he's like you and she's like, oh,
you know, that'd be great, and then the light tune
is green to walk and he pecks up the suitcase.
At the moment he picks it up, he realized there's
actually nothing in it, and then she walks off. AM
Now twenty years ago, that'll be fine, but Pegs doesn't

(05:51):
like it.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
The whole racky Big Show week days from four on
Radio Hurarchy.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
They big show, but cast.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Weirdly enough, I've suddenly been inundated with comedy skits on
Instagram that back in the day we're fine but wouldn't
fly today.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Because of your algorithm you found them.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Well, I don't know why I got seen them, you know,
just really old school, sort of sexist, slightly racist.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
I don't know why I'm suddenly given yea, some of
it's very.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Fun, that's the thing, isn't it.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yes, there's a funny British old Matthew Berry skitch that
I thought you were going down the same line there.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
There's that one where they're always got a boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, so he's happy to help, and then like this
one's for me, and then my boyfriend's just over there.
He just goes, fuck you and throws the trail and
walks off. So he'll only help until he finds out
a boyfriend. Right, ye, delivering the boyfriend and help.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
I saw one of those. She had a fish bowl. Yeah,
that's right, moving.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
In.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yes, it's my boyfriend's fish smash.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Ship fellas. Anyway, that's my one sketch idea. I've got
I like it. Okay, let's do it.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Okay. I don't think people would be offended by that. Well,
I mean, there's always going to be someone that's offended by.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
You know, how would you do it? Maybe if it
was the same sex relationship and it was two men,
maybe yes, yes, that might be accept or maybe I
think more so, I think nobody. I don't think anybody
would complain about the problem is you can't have somebody
that's uh, what do you call it? Differently? I think
you can have differently. Why can't you have them? That's

(07:44):
a shocking thing to say.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
Come on, I thought, I my god, don't start this.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
It's not the fault.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is your wife working again? Does that mean Moggi's on lunches.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Moggi's on lunches. And now I'll tell you what. I
tell you what's been happening as well. We've been having
a lovely time because we put the brakes on all
of our spending because we haven't been drinking this year anyway.
So that's hundreds of dollars a week. Hundreds. Seriously, I
would say hundreds. Wow, Okay, if I'm drinking, it's hundreds
of dollars a week. Yes, I think that's right, because
then you always end up going out for dinner one

(08:29):
day that you fucked hundreds of dollars, right, do you
know what I mean? Though not for me, but right, no, No,
But we go out and there'll be a group of
us and we sort of go out for three if
you get a bunch of mates together for a few
hours exactly, and it just that's that's where it ends up.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
I think it's there.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
I think, wow, what's too much?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
We had some massive bills over a nassy, yes, because
part of the family was drinking and they were boyfriends
and and it was like, oh, that's get up there.
Fucking makes a huge difference.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
But the other thing that's happened is so we haven't
been buying it. We haven't been gone out, we haven't
been drinking, been really tightening the belt in between jobs.
It's just been good. I like a belt tightened, yes,
And that's what that's also mean, as there's been no
packages just arriving willy nilly right, online shopping, online shopping.
Well today one turned out today one bang, we've got

(09:25):
a job. Bang, we're ordering sha work working. But to
be fear, I ordered a whole bunch of T shirts.
This is one of them.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Oh wow, it's indistinguishable from your old ones.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
It is slightly different, but it's a silky T shirt.
It's a bit of cat chase. Yes, it's an Australian brand, Keezy.
You'd love them many And this one was called something
like something like along the lines of lunch Bible or
something like that. And that's it's a recipe book for
making your kid lunch right, And I've got a problem

(09:56):
with that because there's the internet. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Also, you don't seem to have any issues making your
kid lunch.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
I don't have any issues because because she doesn't eat
any of it. So there's no point me spending any
time on recipes, knowing full well that she won't eat
any of it. But my wife likes the idea of
trying to give her nutritional food, but she doesn't want it,
and she's always trying to sneak in like spinach and
fucking hemp hats and she has seeds and all that,

(10:25):
and my daughter can smell it from a mile away
and she just will not eat it. But so anyway,
that shoulds. But it's a good balance, isn't it. Because
my wife kears and tries and I don't don't.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
But it's good though, because you provide the sort of
leveling out and she provides.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
She's striving to be better and dragging her down and
making her life. You're an she would be flying, yes,
but she she should be throwing with eagles, as I say,
but instead she's down in a doulgeps lot mode with
the turkeys. I think that it's hard to fly with
the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
It used to do my head, and you know, you'd
see these ads for healthy lunches for your kids, and
it's like that's all very well and good. My kid's
not going to eat that, that's right, will not eat
that ship.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
It was like my bag. It would stay there forever.
I had fucking shrewsbrees down the bottom, glad wrapped might
sandwich delicious, But I just wouldn't eat. I just wasn't hungry. Yeah,
I'd just be playing, Yeah right, playing too busy playing man,
do a little bit of playing too busy, jacking it
a bit of plan is doing a bit of wooden

(11:37):
laptop as a kid.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Well, I might do sushi fellas.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
You got time, mate, Oh yeah, I was thinking about
the same man.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Look at that fellas in love. Hey, this is the
big show four or seven weekdays radio heard here. And
I didn't mean what I said about differently able

Speaker 2 (11:55):
To maybe put a disclaimer at the front the paksa
It's fine.
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