September 1, 2026 • 13 mins
On today's poddy, ew, Keyzie.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Or raw doggies.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodak here.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
G'day, fellas. Hello. Got a bit more energy today there, fellas?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah. I had a good sleep, actually. It was really good.
But I did something very embarrassing walking to work today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Dick out.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh, is it dick out? That's standy.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah. It's not embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, why would that be embarrassing?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's sort of a hideous looking bastard, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Because of that crook circumcision you've got. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, yeah, the scarring.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, with just that ankle sock, which actually looks literally
like an ankle sock. It looks like one of those
gold top socks, business socks.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
If you want a sort of visual of it. I don't.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I do.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Imagine a Shakespearean actor with a ruff.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, that's right. That big ruffled collar. And then imagine
that sort of the colour of dead skin.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, grey kind of look to it.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
So a Shakespearean actor with a ruff on that's had
the plague.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And that's just sort of hanging out of your pants.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And that's sort of slopping around.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
No, but what I actually did was I walked down
to the end of my street there to the lights,
had me uggies on.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Fuck's sake, your ugg boots.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And I.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I was standing there and I went, exactly, that's what
I said, Keezy. I went, oh, for fuck's sake. I've
got my hat boots on.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's coming to an end, isn't it? It's trying to
do a close.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I had to walk back and change me shoes.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Were you wearing a dressing gown as well?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, because we'd already been out for a massive.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
And he had hair curlers in.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
We had, you know, breakfast and a lovely walk around
the city, so... In your Ugg boots? No, in my
normal boots. Oh, no, I wore my blondies this morning.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's such a lie. No, you didn't. Those are gone.
Those are in the fucking wardrobe forever.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And so then I got home and put my Uggies on.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It's interesting, isn't it? Because that's the beginning of the
end for you.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's it. Yeah. I do a similar thing, but I
do it on purpose, which is I drop my daughter
off to school if I don't walk her. I just
go in my pyjamas.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Because I don't get out of the car. The principal
opens the door at your drop-off area. Oh, wow. They
get out and then you just take off, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
The principal does that?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah. She likes to have contact. It used to be
the caretaker. Yeah, right. And now they've got the principal
doing it. Wow. But, yeah, like wandering around in your
fucking undies. Yeah, that's no good. Never mind. You had
a good run. You had a good run. I did
have a good run.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Did part of you think about just leaving it and
just coming into work?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
For a moment, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I fucking oath you would have thought it was.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, they've got quite a thick sort of plastic sole
on them. They do. So it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, but you look like a drongo.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like my daughter wears them around town.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah, but she's like cool though.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeah, well, she's not. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Well, drive by.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
No, she's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
What colour are your uggies?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Brown. Brown.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do they have like white fluff? No.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Brown fluff. Yeah, the fluff, that means you can wear
them around the outside. Do you know what I mean?
If they've got a band of fluff around them as
if you're going for a walk through the streets of Aspen.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You know?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's amazing, actually, in terms of,
you know, wearing your pyjamas, the amount of people that
do wear their pyjamas around the place.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And supermarkets and shit. I'm like, what the fuck is
going on?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, and pyjamas as well. Pyjamas is a thing. People
are just comfortable. No, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
People wearing pyjamas. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
As well as, like, but yeah, yeah. 100%. It's a disgrace.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So many people are wearing pyjamas out west.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
It's weird, eh? What's the difference?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's just clothes.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I guess so.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
No, it's shameless.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
No self-respect.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's a lack of effort.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
When you're at home, do you look like shit? Do
you have your I don't like shit outfit?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah. Yeah, I do too.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, totally, I do.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Because I come in here and I look pretty good.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Compared to what? Compared to who?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Just the universal scale of looking good. Yeah, compared to Pax.
But when I'm at home, I haven't had a shower.
I've just woken up. I've hopped into my green sweatpants,
green hoodie, and put my woolly socks on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I look like shit. I'm just on the couch. I mean,
I look great, but I'm just wearing those things. So
I'll be wearing my black trackers, my black hoodie, my
crocheted warm winter socks. And then I'll have my Ugg
boots on as well.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Socks and Ugg boots with crochet. Wow, your feet must
be on fire.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's pretty good. It's cold in the house.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I have my black trackies.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Stains and shit all down the front.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
A big grey old sweatshirt and my Ugg boots.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Do you wear undies underneath you?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
You do?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Sometimes I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's annoying, isn't it, Keezy, when you put yourself away
but you haven't really shaken enough and there's just piss
all down your leg. You're saying that happens to you
every day. You love it because you're a shark in birth.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
So you look like shit and you smell like wheeze.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I can cover them.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
No, but to answer your question.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, that's correct, Jase.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, for about an hour. For about an hour. Well,
basically until I shower.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Which is at two. Well, yeah, it depends what's going
on because I might just work from home. In which case,
I'm not getting dressed. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
The Hauraki Beast Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
You know how good the Hodaki Big Show podcast is?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, I love those fellas. Backbone. Yeah, backbone.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You get it. You've got to get around the live
radio show. Oh, you?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
When's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Hodaki and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Backbone.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
The Hodaki Big Show podcast.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Do you ever have those days where you just stay
in your I-look-like-shit clothes and then you go to go
to bed and you go, hang on, I haven't had
a shower yet.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And then you just go to bed anyway?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I haven't had one of those in ages.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
No, neither, but I have had those days.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
You're right.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You know what I mean? Where you just go, oh,
fuck it, who cares?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
What kind of shaver do you guys use?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
An epi lady.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Just a– well, funnily enough, I use– I believe that.
it's a bit something or other but it's a the
blue one for the woman's for woman you use a
woman's razor you know a twin a twin I'm on a.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Triple yeah I'm on a triple anybody worth their salt's
on a triple if you're on more than that then
you're a pretentious you're a prick yeah but.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
They're shit two blades is plenty for me no it's.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Not enough you need three man you need three because
look you've shaved eight you've just shaved and you're prickly
as Why were you touching me? No, I could see it.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, I was touching you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I shaved yesterday.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, right. You need to treat yourself, man, to a
Mac 3.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Have you ever used one? You wouldn't even know how.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
He's still got the bulk pack plastic bag of the
thin blue bics.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, they're the ones.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Fuck off, you have those.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'll send you a pic. Have they got the floral
thing up the side?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
They're blue.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
You wouldn't know that they're necessarily- There's also the orange
ones that are the same thing.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, no, I don't like the orange ones. They've got
to be the blue thin ones.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Out of curiosity, talk us through your shaving process.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Okay, get my dick out.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Your face shaving process because mine is shaving gel rub
it on my face they're foamy where.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Are you though you haven't started from the start I'm in.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
The bathroom I'm in the bathroom I look.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Like shit where are you though we're in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
My house standing in front of the sink my house
I'm standing in front of the sink my back is
to the bathtub and I'm looking in the mirror now
under the sink it's a drawer I've opened it we're
already different Right side, my stuff. Left side, Lucy's stuff.
So I've grabbed out my shaving gel. And the part
that makes me different is I have two razors.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Where was the shower in the setup?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Bathtubs behind me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
No, no, no. Showers also behind me. Not literally. We
are in your process of the day. When did you
last shower?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is after my shower.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Because your skin's all.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Soft and supple. Supple. All supple.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I've got two razors. One for down strokes to take
the head of it off. And then one for a
closer upward shave. because I.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Noticed that when I was doing... I must all respect
for you, Keezy. That's fucking bullshit.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But when I know I was doing.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Bullshit is such shit.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
This is going on the show. This is going on
the show.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
This isn't even that fucking interesting. Keezy has two razors.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
That is weird.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
That is just so.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Nobody does that.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Jase walked outside with slippers on. 100%.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Unnecessary. You expect that, though, don't you?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
My oldest one is the down. I go boom, boom, boom,
get the worst of it off, and then use my
newer one. To do the final clean shave. And it
lasts fucking ages that way. My razor heads last ages.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Whatever, man.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Shocking. Come on, man.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Don't yuck my yum.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
No. Talk us through your process. Well, my process is
to talk about your process on the radio show. That's
number one. Every time you shave. Number two is I
have a shower. I shave in the shower.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Have you got a mirror in there?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Do it all by feel, Keezy. I know my face
like the back of my hand. So I have my shower.
I might be conditioning my wig. What do you call
it again? My hair hat. So that's sitting on a
post in the corner. And while that's conditioning, I shave. Yeah, right.
(09:13):
And do you do.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
The whole head because you're bald, right?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I'm bald, yeah, because that's where I have to have
the glue to stick it down. But, yeah, I do
it in the shower. I love it in the shower.
And so I'll also do that, and then I feel
my face for the roughness, but then I put my
razor in the basin, and I can do any touch-ups
I need to visually after. That's actually a good idea.
But I love being warm in a shower, Keezy. That's
just me. The other thing that I do in the
shower is I will. No, I don't. Now, put your
(09:39):
fingers in the ears of any children that might be
listening because they don't need to know about this. All right? Three, two, one.
I don't rate the climax of a standing man. It's
not as good.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
It's never as good.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I don't mind it.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No. Ew. What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
That's going on the show. Fuck this shit, man. That's
fucking bullshit. But I will, when I'm in the shower
and I'm finishing up, I'll have my back to the water.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Are you shaving again?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Hang on a minute. No, I've finished shaving. That's finished.
And I've got my hair hat back on. I'm all good.
But I dry my... My hair hat, my face, and
down the front of me to my knees while the
water's running on my back. Oh, my God. And then
I turn the shower off and then I dry my
back and I'm done. Are you kidding? No, because it
keeps me warm. If I turn it off, I'm colder
for longer. Fuck, that's weird, eh? I've done that. No,
(10:33):
not as weird as your shit. That's fucking weird.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's on the show, man. I, like you, Mogi, used
to shave in the shower. I don't know why I
stopped doing that. And it was all by fear because
I didn't have a mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
You're doing the bath now, eh?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
You're sitting in the bath. Now, I haven't had a
bath in years. In front of my sink there in
the bathroom, I wet my face. With hot water. Then
I soap it up.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
With hand soap?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
No, with a face soap. And then this is what
I do, which is I guess you'd call it a quirk.
I stick two tampons up my nostrils because I don't
like the water splashing up when I'm shaving.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
You know, because you're splashing on it. So I have
two tampons in my nostrils, and then I just shave
like a normal person.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
So Mokey's got his hair hat on a stand and
shaving the shave. You've got tampons up your nose, and
I'm still the weird one.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, totally, man.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You're weird.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And then do you put any aftershave on?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
No, I leave it. I leave it. You don't want
to put it on straight away. You want to give
your skin a bit of time to itself.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
No, I moisturise after I've shaved.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, I leave that as well.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
See, I put the old brute shaving balm.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Do you have that?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Onto the hand, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I bet you fucking do.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Because my granddad used to have it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Well, you're not going to stick it onto your dick,
are you? Of course you put it in your hand.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
I put it in my hand, and then I stick
it on my dick, and then I put some more
in my hand, and then I do the old.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Slap in the face. Can you give me that noise again?
Shock and burst.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Then I put it on the face there, then it
stings a wee bit, and then I moisturise.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, you've got to moisturise before you apply that. Why?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
That takes the sting out. It fucking burns it all.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, that's what the moisturiser does. The sting is because
your skin's raw. So you put the moisturiser on and
then you put the aftershave on.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
What are you rinsing your face with there? You've shaved,
you've got some shaving cream left over. Hot water. So
your hot water there, that's going to open up your pores.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Great.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You see? And then your cold water will close the pores.
So I'd go a moisturizer, Jase.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
For the easier, for the moisturizer to sink in. Then
I'd wash it off with some cold water. And then
I'd put on some Brute 33. Just kidding. I'm not 13. Yeah, right. Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No, Brute is like old man shit, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, it is. Well, it was, but it's probably for
people that think that that's what you get. It's only
about $ 4, isn't it? How have you ended up with
Brute 33? Because my granddad used to wear it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, well, that's... That's why I genuinely like the smell
of it. It reminds me of my pop. And so
I was like, oh, fuck it, I'll smell it, Brute.
And then I put it on and my wife.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Goes, yeah. Oh, she like it? Yeah. Right. Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
And then standing here. Nah, we're not really. Hey, this
is the big show, four to seven weekdays, Radio Hodaki.
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Or raw doggies.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodak here.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
G'day, fellas. Hello. Got a bit more energy today there, fellas?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah. I had a good sleep, actually. It was really good.
But I did something very embarrassing walking to work today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Dick out.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh, is it dick out? That's standy.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah. It's not embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, why would that be embarrassing?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's sort of a hideous looking bastard, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Because of that crook circumcision you've got. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, yeah, the scarring.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, with just that ankle sock, which actually looks literally
like an ankle sock. It looks like one of those
gold top socks, business socks.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
If you want a sort of visual of it. I don't.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I do.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Imagine a Shakespearean actor with a ruff.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, that's right. That big ruffled collar. And then imagine
that sort of the colour of dead skin.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, grey kind of look to it.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
So a Shakespearean actor with a ruff on that's had
the plague.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And that's just sort of hanging out of your pants.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And that's sort of slopping around.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
No, but what I actually did was I walked down
to the end of my street there to the lights,
had me uggies on.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Fuck's sake, your ugg boots.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And I.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I was standing there and I went, exactly, that's what
I said, Keezy. I went, oh, for fuck's sake. I've
got my hat boots on.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's coming to an end, isn't it? It's trying to
do a close.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I had to walk back and change me shoes.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Were you wearing a dressing gown as well?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, because we'd already been out for a massive.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
And he had hair curlers in.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
We had, you know, breakfast and a lovely walk around
the city, so... In your Ugg boots? No, in my
normal boots. Oh, no, I wore my blondies this morning.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's such a lie. No, you didn't. Those are gone.
Those are in the fucking wardrobe forever.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And so then I got home and put my Uggies on.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It's interesting, isn't it? Because that's the beginning of the
end for you.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's it. Yeah. I do a similar thing, but I
do it on purpose, which is I drop my daughter
off to school if I don't walk her. I just
go in my pyjamas.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Because I don't get out of the car. The principal
opens the door at your drop-off area. Oh, wow. They
get out and then you just take off, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
The principal does that?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah. She likes to have contact. It used to be
the caretaker. Yeah, right. And now they've got the principal
doing it. Wow. But, yeah, like wandering around in your
fucking undies. Yeah, that's no good. Never mind. You had
a good run. You had a good run. I did
have a good run.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Did part of you think about just leaving it and
just coming into work?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
For a moment, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I fucking oath you would have thought it was.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, they've got quite a thick sort of plastic sole
on them. They do. So it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, but you look like a drongo.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like my daughter wears them around town.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah, but she's like cool though.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeah, well, she's not. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Well, drive by.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
No, she's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
What colour are your uggies?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Brown. Brown.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do they have like white fluff? No.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Brown fluff. Yeah, the fluff, that means you can wear
them around the outside. Do you know what I mean?
If they've got a band of fluff around them as
if you're going for a walk through the streets of Aspen.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You know?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's amazing, actually, in terms of,
you know, wearing your pyjamas, the amount of people that
do wear their pyjamas around the place.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And supermarkets and shit. I'm like, what the fuck is
going on?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, and pyjamas as well. Pyjamas is a thing. People
are just comfortable. No, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
People wearing pyjamas. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
As well as, like, but yeah, yeah. 100%. It's a disgrace.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So many people are wearing pyjamas out west.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
It's weird, eh? What's the difference?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's just clothes.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I guess so.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
No, it's shameless.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
No self-respect.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's a lack of effort.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
When you're at home, do you look like shit? Do
you have your I don't like shit outfit?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah. Yeah, I do too.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, totally, I do.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Because I come in here and I look pretty good.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Compared to what? Compared to who?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Just the universal scale of looking good. Yeah, compared to Pax.
But when I'm at home, I haven't had a shower.
I've just woken up. I've hopped into my green sweatpants,
green hoodie, and put my woolly socks on.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I look like shit. I'm just on the couch. I mean,
I look great, but I'm just wearing those things. So
I'll be wearing my black trackers, my black hoodie, my
crocheted warm winter socks. And then I'll have my Ugg
boots on as well.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Socks and Ugg boots with crochet. Wow, your feet must
be on fire.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
It's pretty good. It's cold in the house.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I have my black trackies.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Stains and shit all down the front.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
A big grey old sweatshirt and my Ugg boots.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Do you wear undies underneath you?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
You do?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Sometimes I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
It's annoying, isn't it, Keezy, when you put yourself away
but you haven't really shaken enough and there's just piss
all down your leg. You're saying that happens to you
every day. You love it because you're a shark in birth.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
So you look like shit and you smell like wheeze.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I can cover them.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
No, but to answer your question.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, that's correct, Jase.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, for about an hour. For about an hour. Well,
basically until I shower.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Which is at two. Well, yeah, it depends what's going
on because I might just work from home. In which case,
I'm not getting dressed. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
The Hauraki Beast Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
You know how good the Hodaki Big Show podcast is?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, I love those fellas. Backbone. Yeah, backbone.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You get it. You've got to get around the live
radio show. Oh, you?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
When's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Hodaki and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Backbone.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
The Hodaki Big Show podcast.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Do you ever have those days where you just stay
in your I-look-like-shit clothes and then you go to go
to bed and you go, hang on, I haven't had
a shower yet.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And then you just go to bed anyway?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I haven't had one of those in ages.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
No, neither, but I have had those days.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
You're right.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You know what I mean? Where you just go, oh,
fuck it, who cares?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
What kind of shaver do you guys use?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
An epi lady.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Just a– well, funnily enough, I use– I believe that.
it's a bit something or other but it's a the
blue one for the woman's for woman you use a
woman's razor you know a twin a twin I'm on a.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Triple yeah I'm on a triple anybody worth their salt's
on a triple if you're on more than that then
you're a pretentious you're a prick yeah but.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
They're shit two blades is plenty for me no it's.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Not enough you need three man you need three because
look you've shaved eight you've just shaved and you're prickly
as Why were you touching me? No, I could see it.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah, I was touching you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I shaved yesterday.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, right. You need to treat yourself, man, to a
Mac 3.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Have you ever used one? You wouldn't even know how.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
He's still got the bulk pack plastic bag of the
thin blue bics.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, they're the ones.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Fuck off, you have those.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'll send you a pic. Have they got the floral
thing up the side?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
They're blue.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
You wouldn't know that they're necessarily- There's also the orange
ones that are the same thing.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, no, I don't like the orange ones. They've got
to be the blue thin ones.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Out of curiosity, talk us through your shaving process.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Okay, get my dick out.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Your face shaving process because mine is shaving gel rub
it on my face they're foamy where.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Are you though you haven't started from the start I'm in.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
The bathroom I'm in the bathroom I look.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Like shit where are you though we're in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
My house standing in front of the sink my house
I'm standing in front of the sink my back is
to the bathtub and I'm looking in the mirror now
under the sink it's a drawer I've opened it we're
already different Right side, my stuff. Left side, Lucy's stuff.
So I've grabbed out my shaving gel. And the part
that makes me different is I have two razors.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Where was the shower in the setup?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Bathtubs behind me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
No, no, no. Showers also behind me. Not literally. We
are in your process of the day. When did you
last shower?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is after my shower.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Because your skin's all.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Soft and supple. Supple. All supple.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I've got two razors. One for down strokes to take
the head of it off. And then one for a
closer upward shave. because I.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Noticed that when I was doing... I must all respect
for you, Keezy. That's fucking bullshit.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But when I know I was doing.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Bullshit is such shit.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
This is going on the show. This is going on
the show.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
This isn't even that fucking interesting. Keezy has two razors.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
That is weird.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
That is just so.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Nobody does that.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Jase walked outside with slippers on. 100%.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Unnecessary. You expect that, though, don't you?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
My oldest one is the down. I go boom, boom, boom,
get the worst of it off, and then use my
newer one. To do the final clean shave. And it
lasts fucking ages that way. My razor heads last ages.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Whatever, man.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Shocking. Come on, man.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Don't yuck my yum.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
No. Talk us through your process. Well, my process is
to talk about your process on the radio show. That's
number one. Every time you shave. Number two is I
have a shower. I shave in the shower.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Have you got a mirror in there?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Do it all by feel, Keezy. I know my face
like the back of my hand. So I have my shower.
I might be conditioning my wig. What do you call
it again? My hair hat. So that's sitting on a
post in the corner. And while that's conditioning, I shave. Yeah, right.
(09:13):
And do you do.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
The whole head because you're bald, right?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I'm bald, yeah, because that's where I have to have
the glue to stick it down. But, yeah, I do
it in the shower. I love it in the shower.
And so I'll also do that, and then I feel
my face for the roughness, but then I put my
razor in the basin, and I can do any touch-ups
I need to visually after. That's actually a good idea.
But I love being warm in a shower, Keezy. That's
just me. The other thing that I do in the
shower is I will. No, I don't. Now, put your
(09:39):
fingers in the ears of any children that might be
listening because they don't need to know about this. All right? Three, two, one.
I don't rate the climax of a standing man. It's
not as good.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
It's never as good.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I don't mind it.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No. Ew. What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
That's going on the show. Fuck this shit, man. That's
fucking bullshit. But I will, when I'm in the shower
and I'm finishing up, I'll have my back to the water.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Are you shaving again?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Hang on a minute. No, I've finished shaving. That's finished.
And I've got my hair hat back on. I'm all good.
But I dry my... My hair hat, my face, and
down the front of me to my knees while the
water's running on my back. Oh, my God. And then
I turn the shower off and then I dry my
back and I'm done. Are you kidding? No, because it
keeps me warm. If I turn it off, I'm colder
for longer. Fuck, that's weird, eh? I've done that. No,
(10:33):
not as weird as your shit. That's fucking weird.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's on the show, man. I, like you, Mogi, used
to shave in the shower. I don't know why I
stopped doing that. And it was all by fear because
I didn't have a mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
You're doing the bath now, eh?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
You're sitting in the bath. Now, I haven't had a
bath in years. In front of my sink there in
the bathroom, I wet my face. With hot water. Then
I soap it up.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
With hand soap?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
No, with a face soap. And then this is what
I do, which is I guess you'd call it a quirk.
I stick two tampons up my nostrils because I don't
like the water splashing up when I'm shaving.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
You know, because you're splashing on it. So I have
two tampons in my nostrils, and then I just shave
like a normal person.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
So Mokey's got his hair hat on a stand and
shaving the shave. You've got tampons up your nose, and
I'm still the weird one.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, totally, man.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You're weird.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And then do you put any aftershave on?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
No, I leave it. I leave it. You don't want
to put it on straight away. You want to give
your skin a bit of time to itself.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
No, I moisturise after I've shaved.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, I leave that as well.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
See, I put the old brute shaving balm.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Do you have that?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Onto the hand, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I bet you fucking do.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Because my granddad used to have it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Well, you're not going to stick it onto your dick,
are you? Of course you put it in your hand.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
I put it in my hand, and then I stick
it on my dick, and then I put some more
in my hand, and then I do the old.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Slap in the face. Can you give me that noise again?
Shock and burst.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Then I put it on the face there, then it
stings a wee bit, and then I moisturise.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, you've got to moisturise before you apply that. Why?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
That takes the sting out. It fucking burns it all.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, that's what the moisturiser does. The sting is because
your skin's raw. So you put the moisturiser on and
then you put the aftershave on.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
What are you rinsing your face with there? You've shaved,
you've got some shaving cream left over. Hot water. So
your hot water there, that's going to open up your pores.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Great.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You see? And then your cold water will close the pores.
So I'd go a moisturizer, Jase.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
For the easier, for the moisturizer to sink in. Then
I'd wash it off with some cold water. And then
I'd put on some Brute 33. Just kidding. I'm not 13. Yeah, right. Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No, Brute is like old man shit, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, it is. Well, it was, but it's probably for
people that think that that's what you get. It's only
about $ 4, isn't it? How have you ended up with
Brute 33? Because my granddad used to wear it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, well, that's... That's why I genuinely like the smell
of it. It reminds me of my pop. And so
I was like, oh, fuck it, I'll smell it, Brute.
And then I put it on and my wife.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Goes, yeah. Oh, she like it? Yeah. Right. Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
And then standing here. Nah, we're not really. Hey, this
is the big show, four to seven weekdays, Radio Hodaki.
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