September 7, 2026 • 14 mins
On today's poddy, Keyzie's a mess.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
Raw Dog It, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hauraki.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh, g'day, fellas. Hello. Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good stuff. Good weekend, Horty J.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yeah, not bad, thanks.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
You're good, Horty J. You seem like you're a bit
down in the dumps, man.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
No, no, I'm tickety-boo.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
The last 20 minutes just exhausted me.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Is that a new jersey, mate?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, it is. Thanks for noticing.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
What was exhausting?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Was it the brainstorm or the show meeting?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
That wasn't a brainstorm.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
It wasn't a brainstorm, Keezy.
Speaker 6 (00:40):
Well, it kind of was for the video idea we
were shooting on Wednesday, and every idea involved Jace looking silly.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, well, I mean, that's par for the course.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
But I'm happy to look silly alongside him.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That's par for the course.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
He just does it so well.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's just, you know, those types of condos.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Absolutely critical to the success of this radio show, Jase. Yeah, totally, man.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I tend to go into a deep thug.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
You went into a thug?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
No, a thug.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Oh, I was going to say.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So, you know, I was feeling good up until that point.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You were, weren't you?
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Yeah, and then it just went up.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Monday.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yesterday.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Yesterday. Yesterday.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
So I went to bed at five.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
In the morning? Sunday morning.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
So the All Blacks was on and I was like,
none of it was going into my brain. And I
was just like, why the fuck am I still up?
And so I went to bed, took ages to go
to sleep, then woke up at like seven. And then
at lunchtime I was home. and I'd had a shower,
and Lucy, my wife, had made me lunch, and I
was just sitting on the couch, and I'd made a
big coffee, and I said to her, I'm going to
stay up and just go to bed early. I had
one mouthful of coffee and was like, I can't do it.
(01:48):
I tipped the coffee out, went to bed for five hours.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It was fucked. I've never napped for that long. It
was fucked up.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
That's not a nap. That's a sleep case.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
That's a full-blown sleep.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
You had an hour's sleep the night before, so you
didn't have the sleep.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So that's like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Because what time did you start drinking the day before?
Speaker 6 (02:04):
I was drinking a zero-alcohol... beer while driving out to
my mate's house out south at 11.30 a.m.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
There you go. Jeez, that's a long time to be drinking, eh?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
That is it.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's a long night. That is a big shift. Jeez,
you must have had a few coffees in there as well.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's a big shift.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
A lot of coffees, Mogi?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. What the hell are
you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I don't know what you're insinuating, but I take umbrage.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You're going to hit the fan tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Do you reckon?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, tomorrow on Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Is this me not hitting the fan?
Speaker 7 (02:39):
No.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Because it feels like it is.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, not at all.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I just... The next.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
It's usually two days after.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
How far away is Hot Pot from here? How far, like, physically?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
To walk it?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
500 metres?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Oh, 10-minute walk?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
10-minute walk.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
10-minute walk?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I just did that walk.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
From Hot Pot to here. Oh, yes.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And it felt like I was climbing fucking Everest. Like,
I am so full of Hot Pot right now in
regret that I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
The walk felt like it was taking forever.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
You should have got on a scooter, man.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Thought about it.
Speaker 7 (03:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Then I was like, I don't want to look like
Mogi when he's hungover. Oh, it was you when you
were drunk, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Oh, drunk, yeah. That's what I look cool. Run along.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Crash it, drop all your shit everywhere.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Good times.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
How was your father's day, Jizz?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It was good, thanks.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
I had to wait for my daughter to get up.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
What time did she get up?
Speaker 4 (03:35):
11.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Well, that was fine because my wife and I went
out and had breakfast, as we do on a Sunday.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Were there birds in the cafe?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yes, there were. Fuck. A couple of pigeons. I had
a very nice ham and cheese croissant.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Coffee and we get one of their juices there, which
is great.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
And then got home and there were prezzies on the
table for me. Oh, really? Yeah. What did you get?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Do you like getting a present, do you?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I don't normally expect a present on Father's Day. Not
these days, maybe.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
No, no.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But I think all my daughters contributed.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Right.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Yes. Can you tell us?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
I was going to do it on the show when
we chatted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Fair enough.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You're not going to. Okay. I can do it now.
You're reserved to tell the truth here and lies on
the show. So if it's going to be the truth
on the show, I'm happy with that. That is a
complete change to the structure of what we do here.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
If he comes on the show and says, oh, a
dilly or something, then it's like, what?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, my daughter's bought me a dilly.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Come on, man. Come on. But yeah, good weekend.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
How was the card? That was not.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It is very funny, the card.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
The Father's Day card.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Because it was written by my youngest daughter, and she said...
We love you so much. We lucked out getting you
as a dad.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And I went, isn't lucked out bad luck?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
No, no.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
But it's actually different in different cultures. In America, lucked
out means really good luck. And in European, it's you've
run out of luck.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I had that. I used to wonder about that. But
I've come to understand it to be it's good luck.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
And you would hope. You would hope so. In this instance,
it was, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It just made me laugh, that's all.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I mean, it feels weird that they could have said, like,
we hit the jackpot.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
But they chose that sort of ambiguous.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
That's right, we've got a gambling addiction.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
And it's live.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
What are you listening to there?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, me?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh, sorry.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Right.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Four to seven weekdays.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Righto. Cheers.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Just on the jackpot, I didn't win Lotto.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
No.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
But I did get four free lines again.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Oh. You had the jackpot as well, didn't you, Keezy,
on Saturday night?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
What? Because it was 28 mil, man. 28.5. It's all gone.
The guy's claimed it.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
In Gisborne. He lives in Gisborne. Imagine living in Gisborne, right?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
And you fucking win $ 28.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
5 million.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
That place is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Like my mother-in-law at the moment. I'd be out of
there like fucking.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Well, my mother-in-law at the moment is house-sitting down there,
and she's in this amazing place, and the beach is
just phenomenal. And she's about 100 metres from the beach.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
That's mild.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
You go in Gisborne, you could buy the most extraordinary property.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
But then you live in Gisborne.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
And then, you know, just get high the entire time responsibly.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
No.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Gisborne? That's what they're going to call it when you
move there, man. Yeah, the jizz bin.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But, yeah, no, it was a nice far. And I
got a few messages late in the day.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Oh, did you? From your daughters, I hope.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, good shit.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
How early are you supposed to contact your father on
Father's Day?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
There should be messages waiting there.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
In the morning?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Because I called him at 6 p.m.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, that shit.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Why, you were a piece of shit.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
But he'd already had his gift from me.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
You were already sweating in your fart box.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, true, actually.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Sweating in the old fart box, I call it.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Oh, I've just seen old Keezy there. Yeah, 6 p.m.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Is too late, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
It's quite late.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But I explained it to him.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
And I already had a chat with him on the
Saturday when I gave him his gift for the Saturday.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
All my girls, of course, are in Australia, so they're
two hours behind. So I've got to give them a
bit of grace.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
What about the ones in New Zealand that got up
at 11? 12, I think.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I used to be like that, eh?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Oh, shit, you love it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Midday, man.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Start real late.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Morning, father. It's not morning.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
It's after midday.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The missus and my daughter got me a– they do
really well. It's actually fast turned into my favorite holiday. Yeah.
Because I don't have to do anything, and I refuse
to do anything. Yes. Not entirely.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I love that. I don't have to do anything, but
I refuse to do anything.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Well, you do– well– For example, just things like spending
hours cleaning the kitchen and shit. I'm not doing it,
and I don't feel guilty about not doing it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
I'm not doing it. Yeah. But got a nice card,
nice card that the daughter makes. Yes, always. I've decided
I've got to keep those. I should be keeping those
because I'm only going to get about 25 of them,
30 if I'm lucky, and then I'll be dead. It'll
be quite nice to see those, have those over the years.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Nah, just biff it, man.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Okay. And then the missus got me, they have this
mobile sauna. Mobile sauna on a beach.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
So I went over to that and then you do
a cold plunge in the ocean. So we all went over, missus,
mum and sister are staying as well as the brother.
So we all went over there and went into the
sauna there. Bunch of young folks there jabbering away like
it was a fucking cafe. Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's not on, man. Blah, blah, blah,
top of the lungs, yada, yada, yada. There was a
couple next to me talking about they're going to go skiing.
Might go skiing, this, that, and the other. A couple
of young women there, or woman, I thought. And then
one of them starts saying, oh, it's my mum's 50th
(09:32):
next month. I was like, fucking what? How is that possible?
I'm about three years older than you. How can it
be possible that your mum has... Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Well, maybe it's a Hoiti J39 situation.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
It could be.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What do you mean, man?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
That you look way younger than... Wait, what?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, something.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Yeah, you look young for your age.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Something like that. Yeah, so it's a bit of a
shock to the system, but 50th is now next month.
I'm looking forward to it. But you guys aren't going
to be here. I'm having a massive party, but you guys...
will be away.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Are you sure you're not having a small party and
then a really big one next year?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Yeah, so to say. That's what I overheard at his
office today. Did you? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
I don't actually want to do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
It's Wellington Paranormal. I don't like parties.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
He wants everyone to come to his house. No, I
just need you to come along, Jase.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, I'm not going to say it.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
I just need you to do a speech.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
Just quick 10 or 15 minutes. Yeah, no worries.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
How much are you paying?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Bet old me. You guys could MC it.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Why don't we do a brainstorm for the party?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Don't fucking... Get.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Kate to run it. Toddy will be there.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, Toddy will be there. It was great. I love
a Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yes. They change, of course, over the years as your
kids get older.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
I don't imagine I'll see... Yeah, there'll be 15 years
that I get nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
But yes, it's... Nice to be acknowledged. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Now and then. Well, not now and then. Once a year.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Once a year.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
My mum rang me too.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Oh, did she?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
But not about Father's Day.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
No, just about her own ailments, I would have thought.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Some ailments.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Yeah. Yes. And also got up in the morning and
watched the rugby. I was up.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
At three in the morning.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah, right. Same.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
And I went. I'm not watching the rugby.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Same.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
And I went back to bed.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Right.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
And then watched it at 11.30.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Wow. And you didn't find out the result?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, we went out for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So, you know.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Didn't come across it there at all?
Speaker 7 (11:36):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Nobody having a mind? I had a bit of a scroll.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh, there was a South African guy ahead of us
talking about, he was going, talking to his kids, no bullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
And he was saying, you know.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
For 20 years, I've had to live with the fact
that we've been beating the All Blacks and they come
back in the last 10 minutes and they always beat
us in the last 10 minutes.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And finally, and I went, put things in my ears.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah, but he had already given it away by then.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
It was like when Jase accidentally ruined Alone for you.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah, well, I've only got one episode left, Keezy.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I haven't ruined it, have I?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, not yet, no. It's down to the final three. God,
it's a great show.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
It's good, eh?
Speaker 5 (12:16):
I absolutely love it. It's hard not to fucking watch it.
You should watch it, Casey.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
My wife wants to watch it.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yeah, you should. It's so, so good.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, I probably will. Yeah. It's right up her alley.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I've just had a bit where an old mate
comes across that wallaby-like creature, you know?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Oh, what are they called?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Pompa... Something melon.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Paddy melon.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Paddy melon.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Which is funny because it just looks like a fucking wallaby.
But they're thick as shit from the looks of it.
And I'm surprised, you know, he's just holding on to it.
He's not trying to get away. I'm not trying to
get away or anything. It's really good. And he's, you know,
we're getting close, obviously, and he's held himself together incredibly well.
There's one guy that wants to leave after about five
(13:03):
days because he misses his family so much.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
And then this guy, the Kiwi guy, is about 35 days.
He's like, Oh yeah, I just had my first pang
of missing the family this morning. He is the most Kiwi.
He's absolutely magnificent. And the other guy that's a Bushman
as well is great too. It's great, great stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Especially when he couldn't shit for so long.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I know.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I'm getting a bit worried about this.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
And I was looking at this bottle thinking, yeah, I
could maybe, I mean, you probably don't need to hear that.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Do a homemade enema. And he's just cracking up going,
I just don't want to be the guy that's having
to get medically evacuated because he can't take a shit.
But then he took a shit Keezy, so it was
all good.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
He took a massive Keezy steamer.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Or as we call it, a massive Keezy. This is
the show, 47 Weekdays Radio Hodaki.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Dude!
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Dude!
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
Raw Dog It, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hauraki.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh, g'day, fellas. Hello. Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good stuff. Good weekend, Horty J.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yeah, not bad, thanks.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
You're good, Horty J. You seem like you're a bit
down in the dumps, man.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
No, no, I'm tickety-boo.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
The last 20 minutes just exhausted me.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Is that a new jersey, mate?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, it is. Thanks for noticing.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
What was exhausting?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Was it the brainstorm or the show meeting?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
That wasn't a brainstorm.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
It wasn't a brainstorm, Keezy.
Speaker 6 (00:40):
Well, it kind of was for the video idea we
were shooting on Wednesday, and every idea involved Jace looking silly.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, well, I mean, that's par for the course.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
But I'm happy to look silly alongside him.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That's par for the course.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
He just does it so well.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's just, you know, those types of condos.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Absolutely critical to the success of this radio show, Jase. Yeah, totally, man.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I tend to go into a deep thug.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
You went into a thug?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
No, a thug.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Oh, I was going to say.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So, you know, I was feeling good up until that point.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You were, weren't you?
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Yeah, and then it just went up.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Monday.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yesterday.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Yesterday. Yesterday.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
So I went to bed at five.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
In the morning? Sunday morning.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
So the All Blacks was on and I was like,
none of it was going into my brain. And I
was just like, why the fuck am I still up?
And so I went to bed, took ages to go
to sleep, then woke up at like seven. And then
at lunchtime I was home. and I'd had a shower,
and Lucy, my wife, had made me lunch, and I
was just sitting on the couch, and I'd made a
big coffee, and I said to her, I'm going to
stay up and just go to bed early. I had
one mouthful of coffee and was like, I can't do it.
(01:48):
I tipped the coffee out, went to bed for five hours.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It was fucked. I've never napped for that long. It
was fucked up.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
That's not a nap. That's a sleep case.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
That's a full-blown sleep.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
You had an hour's sleep the night before, so you
didn't have the sleep.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So that's like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Because what time did you start drinking the day before?
Speaker 6 (02:04):
I was drinking a zero-alcohol... beer while driving out to
my mate's house out south at 11.30 a.m.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
There you go. Jeez, that's a long time to be drinking, eh?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
That is it.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's a long night. That is a big shift. Jeez,
you must have had a few coffees in there as well.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's a big shift.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
A lot of coffees, Mogi?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. What the hell are
you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I don't know what you're insinuating, but I take umbrage.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You're going to hit the fan tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Do you reckon?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, tomorrow on Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Is this me not hitting the fan?
Speaker 7 (02:39):
No.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Because it feels like it is.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, not at all.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I just... The next.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
It's usually two days after.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
How far away is Hot Pot from here? How far, like, physically?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
To walk it?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
500 metres?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Oh, 10-minute walk?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
10-minute walk.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
10-minute walk?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I just did that walk.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
From Hot Pot to here. Oh, yes.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And it felt like I was climbing fucking Everest. Like,
I am so full of Hot Pot right now in
regret that I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
The walk felt like it was taking forever.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
You should have got on a scooter, man.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Thought about it.
Speaker 7 (03:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Then I was like, I don't want to look like
Mogi when he's hungover. Oh, it was you when you
were drunk, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Oh, drunk, yeah. That's what I look cool. Run along.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Crash it, drop all your shit everywhere.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Good times.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
How was your father's day, Jizz?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It was good, thanks.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
I had to wait for my daughter to get up.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
What time did she get up?
Speaker 4 (03:35):
11.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Well, that was fine because my wife and I went
out and had breakfast, as we do on a Sunday.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Were there birds in the cafe?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yes, there were. Fuck. A couple of pigeons. I had
a very nice ham and cheese croissant.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Coffee and we get one of their juices there, which
is great.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
And then got home and there were prezzies on the
table for me. Oh, really? Yeah. What did you get?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Do you like getting a present, do you?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I don't normally expect a present on Father's Day. Not
these days, maybe.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
No, no.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But I think all my daughters contributed.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Right.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Yes. Can you tell us?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
I was going to do it on the show when
we chatted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Fair enough.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You're not going to. Okay. I can do it now.
You're reserved to tell the truth here and lies on
the show. So if it's going to be the truth
on the show, I'm happy with that. That is a
complete change to the structure of what we do here.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
If he comes on the show and says, oh, a
dilly or something, then it's like, what?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, my daughter's bought me a dilly.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Come on, man. Come on. But yeah, good weekend.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
How was the card? That was not.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It is very funny, the card.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
The Father's Day card.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Because it was written by my youngest daughter, and she said...
We love you so much. We lucked out getting you
as a dad.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And I went, isn't lucked out bad luck?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
No, no.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
But it's actually different in different cultures. In America, lucked
out means really good luck. And in European, it's you've
run out of luck.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I had that. I used to wonder about that. But
I've come to understand it to be it's good luck.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
And you would hope. You would hope so. In this instance,
it was, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It just made me laugh, that's all.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I mean, it feels weird that they could have said, like,
we hit the jackpot.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
But they chose that sort of ambiguous.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
That's right, we've got a gambling addiction.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
And it's live.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
What are you listening to there?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, me?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh, sorry.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Right.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Four to seven weekdays.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Righto. Cheers.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Just on the jackpot, I didn't win Lotto.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
No.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
But I did get four free lines again.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Oh. You had the jackpot as well, didn't you, Keezy,
on Saturday night?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
What? Because it was 28 mil, man. 28.5. It's all gone.
The guy's claimed it.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
In Gisborne. He lives in Gisborne. Imagine living in Gisborne, right?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
And you fucking win $ 28.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
5 million.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
That place is beautiful.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Like my mother-in-law at the moment. I'd be out of
there like fucking.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Well, my mother-in-law at the moment is house-sitting down there,
and she's in this amazing place, and the beach is
just phenomenal. And she's about 100 metres from the beach.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
That's mild.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
You go in Gisborne, you could buy the most extraordinary property.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
But then you live in Gisborne.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
And then, you know, just get high the entire time responsibly.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
No.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Gisborne? That's what they're going to call it when you
move there, man. Yeah, the jizz bin.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But, yeah, no, it was a nice far. And I
got a few messages late in the day.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Oh, did you? From your daughters, I hope.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, good shit.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
How early are you supposed to contact your father on
Father's Day?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
There should be messages waiting there.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
In the morning?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Because I called him at 6 p.m.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, that shit.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Why, you were a piece of shit.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
But he'd already had his gift from me.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
You were already sweating in your fart box.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, true, actually.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Sweating in the old fart box, I call it.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Oh, I've just seen old Keezy there. Yeah, 6 p.m.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Is too late, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
It's quite late.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But I explained it to him.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
And I already had a chat with him on the
Saturday when I gave him his gift for the Saturday.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
All my girls, of course, are in Australia, so they're
two hours behind. So I've got to give them a
bit of grace.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
What about the ones in New Zealand that got up
at 11? 12, I think.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I used to be like that, eh?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Oh, shit, you love it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Midday, man.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Start real late.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Morning, father. It's not morning.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
It's after midday.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The missus and my daughter got me a– they do
really well. It's actually fast turned into my favorite holiday. Yeah.
Because I don't have to do anything, and I refuse
to do anything. Yes. Not entirely.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I love that. I don't have to do anything, but
I refuse to do anything.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Well, you do– well– For example, just things like spending
hours cleaning the kitchen and shit. I'm not doing it,
and I don't feel guilty about not doing it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
I'm not doing it. Yeah. But got a nice card,
nice card that the daughter makes. Yes, always. I've decided
I've got to keep those. I should be keeping those
because I'm only going to get about 25 of them,
30 if I'm lucky, and then I'll be dead. It'll
be quite nice to see those, have those over the years.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Nah, just biff it, man.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Okay. And then the missus got me, they have this
mobile sauna. Mobile sauna on a beach.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
So I went over to that and then you do
a cold plunge in the ocean. So we all went over, missus,
mum and sister are staying as well as the brother.
So we all went over there and went into the
sauna there. Bunch of young folks there jabbering away like
it was a fucking cafe. Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's not on, man. Blah, blah, blah,
top of the lungs, yada, yada, yada. There was a
couple next to me talking about they're going to go skiing.
Might go skiing, this, that, and the other. A couple
of young women there, or woman, I thought. And then
one of them starts saying, oh, it's my mum's 50th
(09:32):
next month. I was like, fucking what? How is that possible?
I'm about three years older than you. How can it
be possible that your mum has... Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Well, maybe it's a Hoiti J39 situation.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
It could be.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What do you mean, man?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
That you look way younger than... Wait, what?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, something.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Yeah, you look young for your age.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Something like that. Yeah, so it's a bit of a
shock to the system, but 50th is now next month.
I'm looking forward to it. But you guys aren't going
to be here. I'm having a massive party, but you guys...
will be away.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Are you sure you're not having a small party and
then a really big one next year?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Yeah, so to say. That's what I overheard at his
office today. Did you? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
I don't actually want to do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
It's Wellington Paranormal. I don't like parties.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
He wants everyone to come to his house. No, I
just need you to come along, Jase.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, I'm not going to say it.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
I just need you to do a speech.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
Just quick 10 or 15 minutes. Yeah, no worries.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
How much are you paying?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Bet old me. You guys could MC it.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Why don't we do a brainstorm for the party?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Don't fucking... Get.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Kate to run it. Toddy will be there.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, Toddy will be there. It was great. I love
a Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yes. They change, of course, over the years as your
kids get older.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
I don't imagine I'll see... Yeah, there'll be 15 years
that I get nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
But yes, it's... Nice to be acknowledged. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Now and then. Well, not now and then. Once a year.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Once a year.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
My mum rang me too.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Oh, did she?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
But not about Father's Day.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
No, just about her own ailments, I would have thought.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Some ailments.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Yeah. Yes. And also got up in the morning and
watched the rugby. I was up.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
At three in the morning.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah, right. Same.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
And I went. I'm not watching the rugby.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Same.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
And I went back to bed.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Right.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
And then watched it at 11.30.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Wow. And you didn't find out the result?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, we went out for breakfast.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So, you know.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Didn't come across it there at all?
Speaker 7 (11:36):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Nobody having a mind? I had a bit of a scroll.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh, there was a South African guy ahead of us
talking about, he was going, talking to his kids, no bullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
And he was saying, you know.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
For 20 years, I've had to live with the fact
that we've been beating the All Blacks and they come
back in the last 10 minutes and they always beat
us in the last 10 minutes.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And finally, and I went, put things in my ears.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah, but he had already given it away by then.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
It was like when Jase accidentally ruined Alone for you.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah, well, I've only got one episode left, Keezy.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I haven't ruined it, have I?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, not yet, no. It's down to the final three. God,
it's a great show.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
It's good, eh?
Speaker 5 (12:16):
I absolutely love it. It's hard not to fucking watch it.
You should watch it, Casey.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
My wife wants to watch it.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yeah, you should. It's so, so good.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, I probably will. Yeah. It's right up her alley.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I've just had a bit where an old mate
comes across that wallaby-like creature, you know?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Oh, what are they called?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Pompa... Something melon.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Paddy melon.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Paddy melon.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Which is funny because it just looks like a fucking wallaby.
But they're thick as shit from the looks of it.
And I'm surprised, you know, he's just holding on to it.
He's not trying to get away. I'm not trying to
get away or anything. It's really good. And he's, you know,
we're getting close, obviously, and he's held himself together incredibly well.
There's one guy that wants to leave after about five
(13:03):
days because he misses his family so much.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
And then this guy, the Kiwi guy, is about 35 days.
He's like, Oh yeah, I just had my first pang
of missing the family this morning. He is the most Kiwi.
He's absolutely magnificent. And the other guy that's a Bushman
as well is great too. It's great, great stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Especially when he couldn't shit for so long.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I know.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I'm getting a bit worried about this.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
And I was looking at this bottle thinking, yeah, I
could maybe, I mean, you probably don't need to hear that.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Do a homemade enema. And he's just cracking up going,
I just don't want to be the guy that's having
to get medically evacuated because he can't take a shit.
But then he took a shit Keezy, so it was
all good.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
He took a massive Keezy steamer.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Or as we call it, a massive Keezy. This is
the show, 47 Weekdays Radio Hodaki.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Dude!
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Dude!
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