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August 4, 2026 12 mins

On today's poddy, study your cue cards.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For all you men bastards Loving the Big Show podcast,
Get Up Even Closer on Instagram, YouTube and picture off
for targets for to seven every weekday on radio.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Get feel backbone? Wait, hello, funck. That actually threw me off.
You're not saying backbone there?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I forgot. Yeah, my brain was like, someone says backbone here,
isn't me?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
How are we going?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Fellas bloody good? Actually I went to the gym. That
was nice. I had a good day today. Man, that's
had a sleep last night pretty. I woke up a
few times. That's that's true. But my my daughter, she
had her first speech to oh, yes, great just for
the feelers, say, I don't know if you were there
will be kids that wouldn't have been in Twitter. But

(00:49):
they had to do it off que. They had to
have your que cards. It was very young. I thought
to be doing that and reading off that, but she
just knew the whole thing off by heart. Yes. So
I was like, well, you can just sort off my hat.
She's like, no, the teachers heid, we've got to have
the cards. So yeah, but the cards are there to
help you. And then of course she has reading off
the cards and it made it worse.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yes, because you focus your focus on the.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Cards that was throwing her. So anyway, she's done that
only seven, so I get to find out how that went.
I just hope she had fun. But she's funny. God,
they've got good memories, man.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
Fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
I wish I had a brand new memory in me. Yeah,
brand new hard drive keysy arm.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I remember that those times very well, Mogie. I had
two girls that loved it we're naturals, yeah, and two
girls that hated it. Yeah. And actually interesting, interestingly, the
one that hated it the most the youngest. Yeah, she
actually was. And they came up to her afterwards and like, oh,
you've got to do this, and no, I'm never doing

(01:49):
that again.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
She do speeches at the U N Yeah, it sounds
like content that sounds like.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Actually I had to. I had to judge them once
with another actor, Mark Mitchison.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Really, yeah, I have to. They asked me to do
it this year finals the next week. I did them
last year, but I'll be I'll be in Wayne Queenstown,
isn't it. Yeah, I can't do it, which was a shame.
But last year they were fucking hilarious.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yes, I was hard, but fair.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I had them in tears? Were they eight? Oh? Yeah
with Marc Mitchison.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
This yeah with Mark Mark.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, it was good.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
What was Do you remember your first ever speech on
what the topic was?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
I do? I do. I did it at Saint Patrick's
College and Silver Stream I might have done it. I
did and it was in the third form and it
was about cartoons and it was sarcastic, but it was
about the negative effect of violence on young people. And
I got to the final. I think I came third
in the In the year I could all. I could

(02:52):
never do a serious one. It always had to be stupid,
and I think for that, I think that cost me
keysy in the long run. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
I can't remember my first ever speech, but I can
remember my first ever performance at primary school. And I
still remember the song.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay please stand up, Okay, here we go, this is great,
this is fucking great.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
And I remember I had I remember I had an umbrella.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Ah, I see you suck for you were a little
and I think it.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
And like, I think I had a raincoat on underneath your.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Oh no, oh.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
No, don't let the rain come down. Oh no, oh no,
don't let the rain come down. Oh no, oh no,
don't let the rain come down. My roof's got a
hole in it and I might drown.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
What how old are you? Fifteen?

Speaker 3 (03:52):
No, I was a young.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
It was pretty cute. It's pretty cud.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
I just I don't know why that's stuck in my head.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
That you still know. Yeah, yeah, thirty three years performative. Yes,
it isn't real. They're big, but they do burn a
hole in you. And I remember doing one at college
and just in front of the class to get into
the final and there instead, and just because I hated it,
and absolutely hated it. I was terrified, Yes, and been

(04:23):
up the front and at the desks right at the front,
We're too sweet at smoke show, Swedish Exchange students right there,
and so you'd stand right in front of them, and
I was freaking out, freaking out, and one of them
said to the other one, oh look his hands are shaking.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Oh no.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
The whole Arky Big Show wee days from four on
Radio Hurdarchy.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
You know how good the Hadarky Big Show podcasters.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
Mores BG and you get it.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
You're gonna get around the live radio show even white
days on Radio Hierarchy. And I'm her Radio.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
You're born nice. Remember they Big show podcast Absolute and
I got into the final but it was just like
hearing that just you know, like fifteen or sixteen, I'm
going off the cads. My daughter's seven, No cads. Yes,
it is.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Also girls just way better at studying and practicing.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
And honestly, dud and when you have a kid, you'll
find the fucking memories on these things. Yeah, that's extraordinary.
Like we used to read books to Moggie and Ogi
and like I'm talking like dense, dense books, like normal books,
and you would start reading them to her and she
was like two and a half or three, and she

(05:48):
would just start reciting the entire page after she knew
the whole thing off by heart. Page it was. It
was unsettling, Yes it was, and it was and you're
just cracking and then she's cracking up. Just keep on
looking at you, just doing the whole it was there,
they're amazing. It must be because the human brain it

(06:09):
is wasted on you, kizy. And that's the moral of
the story here. But we need a joke in there somewhere.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
It must because the concept I don't have to worry
about anything outside of going to school and reading books.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
It's because it's a brand new hard drive. Yes, brand new.
And so the other day jos I was having that memory.
She would I couldn't remember the someone who I know
very well. Yes, it's like when you search on your
mail and it's looking through all the emails and it's
just got that wheel spinning around. Yes, I put it
in here somewhere. You just got so much shit in
your brain, totally. Your your memory is just fuck oh

(06:42):
ship for brains.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
In terms of I remember very well. You know, girls
and speeches were always very well prepared because I used
to do debating as well, and I used to hate
debating girls because they were always so especially darcist in
school for girls, because they always had like really clever
little riddles. But be be be be, and you go, yeah,

(07:10):
whatever you've got. I think I told you this. I
remember because I did speeches at school when I was
at deal with and all the time. And I remember
one time the judges and this is no word of
a lie. I think I've told you this, no word
of a lie. I gave my speech and then the

(07:32):
judges you, no, we're talking me through. What they really
liked about the speech and then they said, but Jason,
you need to be weir and it's probably just nerves,
but you tend to touch your testicles while you're doing
I'm not bullshiting in front of the entire fucking school.

(07:52):
And I'm like, well, fuck, because I think I did.
Like when I speak doing speech, I would grab.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
My balls set. Yeah, it's a comfort. It's a comfort totally.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
And it was just like, okay, well you could have
maybe left that bit out or.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Just like taking me aside, save there for later far out.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
It's a good thing to do, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
I still remember, like the girls in my class, the
Q cards would be like amazingly decorated.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
And like just you start the year like that. So
I'm going to be neat this year and like within
two days it's turned into.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
New stationary, new station. I loved it.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, what rolled it? Sorry? Jerisalem Yeah, I know. I
could never keep the bubbles.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I remember once and.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Because you could put little like print out draw pictures
and then put them under the clear Jurisseelles looks cool.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
It always looks like ship. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it.
Put some plastic over all your books? Yeah, good ship?

Speaker 3 (08:52):
I remember I was so obsessed by stationary and particularly
erases rubbers. I remember I was given this massive eraser.
It was just like a big bar of soap basically,
and I went, now, I don't want to just use
all that up, so I cut it into cubes. My god,

(09:18):
no bullshit. I cut it into cubes and I had
one for each specific day.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh my, and how old did that last? A year? Well?
Actually do it? Oh?

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
I would have had best intentions.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
But is that adhd or I.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Think it just means you're a loser. When you're doing
you're debating. What position were you first? Second, or third?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
I tended to be first.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Did you see it up the argument, play out what
your team was going to be talking about, and give
some of the initial arguments. Yes, I was third. I
do a battle, Yeah, a battle which I really enjoyed.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yes, you'd be good at that test preparation you see, Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
You had to pick out what the other speakers said,
and yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
I probably going to be one of the other speakers,
but would come get out your mad bustards.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
That would be good. Actually, we could have a debate
against breakfast.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
That's not a bad idea that could be all right,
because you put the jackets on the ties, and you
put the what is it the the subject, what's it called.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
It's the proposal or the the moot, the moat and
either for or against pro or something.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
And the top of moot today is the topic has
to be something that's like.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Tear.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah. Yeah, So we were doing something along the lines
of it came up with somethings. Yeah, that's right, but
something more personal than that that the Breakfast Show sucks.
For example, we would and we would be negative, so

(11:03):
and then they would be positive, so they would have
to agree with them Breakfast show actually sucks.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
Yeah, that would be funny and we'd be like, yeah,
hard one to argue Fellers.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
I've never done at the bait. I think I'd enjoy it. Yeah,
they were good. I was glad to stump across. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
I did them for years and speeches.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
It was good. And drama that is good. Drama. Yeah, drama.
My next door neighbor, she was the mother of nine
and she taught drama. But it never occurred to me.
I just thought, you, it's a pretty quick way in
Levin to get your heat kicked in. Yeah. But I
also don't really understand it. Yeah, drama it's great.

Speaker 5 (11:44):
It's at the beginning, in the first couple of years
you're running around playing games. Yeah, and then the year
after they're like, all right, cool, this is betult bricked.
We're going to read all this thing and we're going
to memorize it all. And then you have to do
like a monologue, and then you have to write a journal.
And then it was just like turned into all the
theory and I was.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Oh God, my wife's doing her first drama class with
the kiddies today.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Here's a teacher, there's a teacher. Aren't they all different ages?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah? They are, but I think today it's all like
nine year olds or ten year olds.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
That's good.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
So it's more a case of we're going to put
a video on and just watch that day. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
Listen to The Big Show four or seven weekdays Radio
Huraki
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