Shelwin Khan’s Journey of Recovery, Resilience and Hope

Auckland man Shelwin Khan was just 14 when addiction first took hold. By 15, he had overdosed, blacked out and woken in a police cell before being admitted to a youth psychiatric ward. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager, he faced years of instability, cycling between substance use, hospital admissions and attempts at recovery.

This week on The Nutters Club on NewstalkZB, Khan shared the long road from chaos to seven years of sobriety and a life he once believed was impossible.

Born and raised in South Auckland to Fijian-Indian parents, Khan describes a turbulent adolescence marked by bullying, academic struggles and early substance use. Despite being told by a teacher he might be “slow,” he went on to complete a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and English. But behind the achievement, his drinking escalated.

“I was drinking five days a week and recovering the other two,” he said. “On the surface I looked successful. Underneath, I was falling apart.”

By his mid-20s, Khan was unemployable and had attempted rehabilitation three times. Each time he relapsed. After years of heavy drinking and drug use, and with only 16 days of sobriety across a two-year period, he reached a breaking point at 27.

Instead of ending his life, he walked into a 12-step meeting.

There he met a man who had been sober for 28 years. “He had more sobriety than I’d been alive,” Khan said. “He seemed peaceful. I wanted that.”

Khan immersed himself in recovery, attending support groups and completing a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. He later trained as a peer support worker, drawing on his lived experience to help others navigating addiction and mental illness.

Today, nearly seven years sober, he works across mental health services in multiple roles, including as a lived experience advisor.

Sobriety opened doors he never imagined. He has travelled to 14 countries, including Japan, Italy and Switzerland, a stark contrast to the years when he struggled to leave his bedroom.

Recovery has not meant the end of challenges. Khan continues to manage bipolar symptoms, including episodes of paranoia and psychosis, using self-awareness, support networks and practical coping strategies. Recently, he faced another test: a cancer diagnosis. A 10-centimetre tumour was surgically removed in January, and he is undergoing further treatment.

Yet his outlook remains grounded. “If this had been the end,” he reflected, “the last seven years have been so full and meaningful that it would have been okay.”

For Khan, sobriety is more than abstinence. “It’s about how I show up to life,” he said. “It’s about finding a new default.”

His message is simple but powerful: recovery is possible and life, even with its curveballs, is worth it.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk SEDB. Follow
this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Greetings and welcome. I'm Hamish Williams and you're listening to
the podcast version of The Nusses Club, our radio show
about mental health, broadcast weekly on news Talk zed B.
Each week we talk with people about their mental health
experiences and the hope that it might help you with
your own. The show is broadcast live on Sunday nights

(00:42):
on Newstalk s ed B, right across New Zealand and
around the world. Our guest this week was Shelwyn Kahan.
He shared with us his battle with addiction that began
when he was only fourteen. Coupled with a bipolar diagnosis,
his mental health challenges were immense. Despite the obstacles, Shelwyn

(01:03):
persisted to find what worked for him and the outcomes
they have not only been life changing, they've been life saving.
Let us know what you think as well as what
you learn from our chat with Shelwyn on any of
our social media platforms. Just search for the Nutters Club.
D is it Come join over one hundred and forty

(01:24):
one thousand fellow nutters. Let's get into this week's episode. Shelwin,
thank you so much for being with us here at
the Nutters.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Club, Noes, thank you for letting me come here.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Look, tell us a little bit about yourself, Chao. When
where were you born? Where'd you grow up?

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:42):
I was born here in New Zealand and South Auckland.
I grew up. I went to school at MH. Yeah MH.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
That was that made ray were high.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
That's good guess. Yeah, that's a very good guest.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, and look, tell us a little bit about yourself,
you know, like you know, you said you're born here
in New Zealand. Have your family were they from somewhere else? Who?

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, so my family is from Fiji, so you know,
my background was Fijian, Indian and obviously before that India
and Nepal as well. So yeah, I don't know if
you know much about Fiji and Indians. But in the
eighteen hundreds, late eighteen hundreds eighteen nineties, like slavery was
kind of outlawed, so we had these things called indentured servants.

(02:28):
So my ancestors ended up on a bit of a
boat and ended up in Fiji to cut some sugar
cane and that's how Fiji and Indians kind of got
there and my ancestors got there, and yeah, that was
pretty much the start of us being there, you know. Yeah,
sometime in the nineteen seventies, my grandparents decided, well from
my dad's side, to come to New Zealand. And I

(02:49):
was born here, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
So your parents were born here as well.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
No, my dad was like thirteen when he came, I believe, Yeah,
so he was sort of yeah, it was in the transition,
so he did high school and stuff here. A he
would have been one of the I think one of
the first Indians. Well, I think he was the only
Indian when he went through I believe was packering a
high or Edgewater College, one of those two out in
East Aukland.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Because there were a lot of Indians around in the
nineteen seventies. Because I remember I was talking to a
guy who had moved here from India and he said
he could never find Indian food when he was in
the seventies around the place. So, okay, So you went
into school, Mona, Dae were high and it looked what
was high school like for you?

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Oh man? Like when I was an intermediate, I kind
of got caught up with some master would pack on
some of the smuckkets next door to us. You know,
it was the next door class. When I got to
high school, most of my mates ended up in the north,
you know, in other classes, and I ended up in
the top class with all the people I used to
bully or try to bully anyways, you know, part of
that crowd. So it didn't start off grade A you know,

(03:50):
I got they taught me apart during my first year
and stuff in high school, and yeah, it was a
final experience.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Maybe, you know, did you re calibrate though?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, eventually, you know, well really towards the end of
my high school. Actually, my first day of high school
was pretty out the gate because I remember the end
of the end of the day, I was like in
the English class and we were ending with English and
the teacher sort of comes up to me and she's like, hello, Sha,

(04:20):
are you a little bit slow?

Speaker 4 (04:22):
Are you?

Speaker 3 (04:22):
She literally like literally came up to me, and she
thought I was like, you know, mentally slow or something,
you know, And I don't know how to respond, so
I was like, yeah, sure, yeah, I don't know what
to say. You know, it was really awkward. You know,
but I kind of got a bit of a resentment
about that, you know, And towards the end of high school,
despite having some challenges with mental health addiction, I ended

(04:43):
up doing very good in English, you know, and ended
up actually going to university and studying English as well
as well as psychology.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
So look, just just back up a bit, because you know,
you said a few challenges with mental health and addiction.
At what age did that start becoming as a party
in your life that you were at least conscious about.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
I would say, well, probably around that time. Actually in
year nine, there was things happening, I guess, just of
the external environment and you know, the people. But it
was really around like maybe about thirteen fourteen I found
my way into using some substances, you know. Fifteen I
had an overdose, ended up in the emergency department. A

(05:25):
few months after that, I took a whole bunch of substances,
blacked out, and I woke up in the police the
Papacurrea police station. Not sure how I got there, you know,
just completely. I remember taking a whole bunch of things
walking out the door, and then I just woke up
in the police station. And the next thing I knew
I was being sent to the Child Family and Youth

(05:49):
psych ward and patient and in Auckland Hospital A And yeah,
that was a pretty pretty interesting kind of experience, you know,
being a fifteen year old, you know, walking out to
school one day and then all of a sudden, I'm
I'm inside of a psych ward you know, and the
police station and stuff.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
So do you remember what it was like going to
the site ward at fifteen?

Speaker 3 (06:11):
It was, well, it wasn't a great experience. You know,
when I first got there, they took all my well
even when I got to the police station, they took
all my shoelacers and everything and make sure obviously safety
procedures and stuff.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
You know.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
I remember it within the cycle very little in terms
of like the doors not being locked. That first week
was like such a blurrey. It was the real intense,
like maximum security kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Were you scared of all?

Speaker 4 (06:35):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, man, like as a fifteen year old, I mean
it's just you know, being thrown in that situation all
alone as well was quite a scary kind of experience,
you know. And then the next part when they took
me from the high intensity part ward into the into
the more of the you know, medium or whatever. That
side was a bit better because they like had like

(06:57):
music group and stuff, and you know, I played a
bit of guitar and all this kind of stuff and
was jamming with one of the guys in there. You know,
he was hearing the voices. He was telling me he
was getting like electric shock therapy and stuff, which I
don't even know if it's true now, you know, Like,
but we were sort of just jamming and there, you know,
playing music, and that's how we sort of coped. And yeah,
then eventually I had to go back to school, and

(07:18):
you know, I had been expelled, but I went to
the board of trustees and did like a big apology
and had social workers and stuff involved as well. So yeah,
I had to you know, basically apologize for the whole thing,
and they led me back into high school. And yeah,
and I don't know what else to do, you know,
So I ended up finishing high school.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
You know, so you did finish high school. Yeah, then
being able to come back from being expelled, that's that's
a huge achievement in and of itself. But look, when
you're in the in the PSIGN word, you know, tell us,
you know, did you actually, you know, did any of
the stuff that they talked about with you there, you know,
with the counselors, the therapists, did any of that sort
of start to help or originate it all?

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Well, they basically said I had bipolar, and at that age,
I didn't really understand what that meant, you know, And
there was a whole side of amusing drugs that I
wasn't read too honest about as well, you know, and
I wasn't really able to share the experiences kind of honestly,
you know. So I wasn't even too sure at that

(08:18):
point if I had bipolar. It turned out, you know,
I've discovered it is something that is a part of me,
you know, but I've never really been in that kind
of clinical model, like it's a good framework for me
to sort of understand things about myself. But I felt
that it was sort of like, You've got this disorder,
this mental illness, and it's basically come from a deficit

(08:41):
model in a place of risk and management, like you know,
management of risk, and you know, from this perspective, I've
got issues and problems that I'm going to have to
deal with for the rest of my life. Whereas I
kind of like to think of it personally as like
it is something that is a part of me, and
some of my greatest experiences have come through, you know,
things that others would deem you know, manic manic episodes

(09:03):
or all that kind of stuff, and as far as
things like severe depression and stuff, it's really altered in
my perspective. I think it's given me more of a
depth of understanding of other people and a deeper empathy.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
You know.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
So I kind of even though I've got this, you know,
this diagnosis, I've always kind of viewed it from a
strengths thing. And even when I was in the psycho
Wadter fifteen, I didn't really like the approach that they
were having with me, you know, saying that, yeah, basically
this is an illness and you're sick. You know, it
was what I kind of felt, you know, and again
being fifteen and alone, it's just like, well, how do
you even you know, like, how do you even process this?

Speaker 4 (09:36):
You know?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
So Shelwyn, you know, you're just talking about having to
figure out how does a diagnosis like bipolar actually fit
in with my life? So, you know, did you go right,
this is me and rush out and get the you know,
I'm bipolar t shirt and you know hats and all
the apparel or you know, how do you actually take

(09:59):
a diagnosis like that as a teenager and be able
to apply it in day to day life.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Well, I think initially I I sort of rebelled against
that idea, you know, I said it, you know, in
order to sort of get out of there. But I
didn't know if that was really me, you know, And
I guess there was a search of identity through that,
and when I would go through like you know, through
the rest of my life, I've gone through, you know,
like a manic episode with psychosis for example, and during

(10:26):
that time, my identity would become around Okay, I understand
I am bipolar. This is me. But then as i've
you know, have had you know, like I've been like
diagnosedal over about eighteen years or something now, and I
really try hard not to make it my entire identity,
you know, like it is a part of me, and
I make sure I give it the respect that deserves, because, like,

(10:48):
if I don't do a few things in terms of
managing some of my early warning signs and triggers and
this kind of stuff, things can become quite unstable quickly.
So like I do give that side. I make sure
I keep myself well mentally where I can, and I
do identify with it, but I don't make it my
entire thing, you know.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Sure, sure, sure, So let's just go and make a
wee bit to your story. You know you've got this
diagnosis at fifteen, but you know you managed to finish
high school? And then what happened after high school? Where
did you go to from there?

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Well? I didn't know what else to do, so I
just went to UNI.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, I look to be honest, I think that's that's
pretty natural for a lot of people when they go
to UNI.

Speaker 5 (11:30):
Righte, cor That's pretty much how I landed in Bayeah.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
It's I don't know what to do, but.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
I'll go to UNI.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, sure enough, that's pretty much.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
And what did you study at UNI?

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Finally? Off psychology?

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Did you finish up?

Speaker 3 (11:42):
I did? Yeah, although it was a bit had a
mysteria and I didn't know it. It was a challenge UNI. Yeah.
During that time after I had my I had another
overdose and I decided, like I don't really want to
do harder substances and stuff, you know, So I kind
of thought, you know, alcohol is not so bad, and

(12:03):
in UNI, everyone's drinking, man, you know, like if you've
been the UNI, it's a well at least people hanged around. Anyways,
So like I was, I was starting to develop you know,
quite severe drinking, you know, sort of drinking five days
a week and recovering twice the you know, two days
a week kind of thing, which was pretty common and
I think with unique students, and I guess I started

(12:27):
to that's where my challenges with alcohol started to develop.
But you know, I ended up finishing UNI, you know,
even had a house fire at the end of the year. Jesus.
Actually there's a kind of a funny story a end
of my final just before my final exams of finishing
this degree, and had I had really showed up the
class as well, you know, like I was struggling with

(12:47):
mental health stuff, so like showing up the classes and
all that was really difficult sometimes, you know. And anyways,
I got kicked out of the place that I was
staying just because of erratic behavior and stuff, and in
the back of my parents and then the house accidentally
burnt down, you know, accidental kitchen fire two weeks before
bloody exams and this is like the final thing of
finishing my diniversity degree. And yes, I had to quickly

(13:11):
relocate to Parnell and you know, despite all that, I
ended up finishing, you know, And then what did you
graduate in Shaw? It was well, it was a BA
in psychology in English.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
You know, fantastic, well done, well done. So let's then,
you know, you finish, you finish university and you can
you know, and you've you've proven that you can still
have mental health issues and do a university degree. The
world must seem pretty unstoppable from here. But what was
it like after? I mean, did you go and become

(13:40):
a psychologist? Stuff? Do you finish junior or what did
you What did you do and where did it take you?

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Well, actually, the other thing I did during the end
of my UNI and that the final semester was I
studied to work within a different so I was kind
of doing two courses at the same time, and I
worked in another sector for a couple of years. But
due to my drinking and other mental health stuff and
other substances, I just came unemployable a by the time,

(14:10):
like I was doing it when I was like twenty
four twenty five, Like straight after UNI, I was actually
earning quite a bit of money, and on the surface
of it, I was quite doing well for myself, you know,
Like end of I think it was like a twenty
five Uh no, not twenty five was I was twenty
four and I ended up having to check into rehab
for the first time. And that was sort of based

(14:32):
on my boss was about to fire me because I
couldn't show up because I couldn't like it was so hard,
you know.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
But what was that? Like, what was different now at
age twenty five being in this kind of structured, you know,
sort of supportive environment compared to the previous experience.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
Well, I was twenty four and I knew I had
a problem at that point. I checked in and I
got kicked out in a week, so I didn't last.
But I kind of there was a few things that
I was introduced to. One of them the idea of
one is too many and one thousands not enough. There
was like a board somewhere in the rehab that said that.
I was like, yeah, that, out of everything, that made

(15:08):
the most sense, you know. I really thought alcohol was
the problem then, so I started using other stuff and
I got six months of like sobriety on my own
what I thought was sobriety.

Speaker 4 (15:19):
You know.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
And then I ended up picking up the bottle again,
and a year after that, I went back into another rehab.
At that point I spent about so I've done rehab
three times and I've never finished a single program, you know.
The second time, I kind of thought I knew better
than this, Like, you know, I've got a psychology degree, man,
like I know what to do. Sure, an suddenly walked out.

(15:41):
When I walked out. About five weeks into that, I
ended up using another substance, thinking it's safely once again,
and that ended up making me go into like full
blown psychosis. It was crazy, actually, but that's a whole Yeah,
that's the whole part of the experience really. And then
I ended up like basically drinking and using other stuff

(16:03):
for another two years before I ended up checking in
for the third time. And I had within those two years,
I had like sixteen days of sub sobriety. So I
was drinking every day basically, and I had sixteen days,
which was in the third intent of being in treatment.
But it was too much for me. A like, at

(16:24):
that point, it was like the environment was too much,
and I was starting to lose a lot of hope
as well, you know, because I had been in and
out of rehab and you know, I had all these
issues with mental health is all the way that I
kind of viewed it, and it just seemed like the
hope was getting less and less, you know, going through
community mental health teams and all that kind of stuff,
and yeah, it got really dark.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
You know.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
After I left rehab the third time, I just didn't
think that. I didn't know what I was going to
do with my life. You know, I was unemployable, had
been unemployable for years at this point. You know, I
wanted to end it, you know, yeah, yeah, definitely. I
just didn't know what to do.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
You know.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
One one night of heavy drinking, I tried to get
some other stuff and I woke up to a bunch
of angry text messages and I was like, today is
I got to either you know, I got to basically
take my life because I don't know what else to do.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
You know.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
I ended up instead of doing that, I ended up
going to a twelve step meeting and I got the
time wrong and Dil was this guy like it was
like twenty eight years sober. You know, I was twenty
seven at a time my life was he was more
sober than I had been alive. It blew my mind.
But also he was like serene, peaceful. He seemed content
with what he had, and at that point I didn't

(17:39):
know anyone around me there was happy and content with
what they had, you know, so I kind of was like, Man,
I really want this thing, you know, and I went
really hard into my first year of recovery, you know,
going to all the meetings that I could, all the
recovery groups that I could. That's where Actually I think
we met a year after that because I was employed
with a with an RI just as it was closing down,

(18:02):
you know, somewhere around that time, I think we met.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
You know, tell us what what was ARI? What does
that stand for?

Speaker 3 (18:07):
Recovery Innovations. It was a big part of my early recovery,
you know, like they did every day you can go
in and do RAP courses. So I don't know if
you guys have heard of rappers, like the Wellness Recovery
Action Plan, and basically it's like eight tools, eight sections
around things like early warning signs and how to cope
with them. Triggers, action plans around things, when things are

(18:31):
breaking down, when you're going into crisis, that kind of stuff.
So it kind of like looks at every kind of
level of you know, like from when it's a small problem,
just when it starts to get more serious and things
are breaking down, to when it's actually a big problem,
that kind of thing, you know. And I kind of
I finished. It's only like like again, it's like eight sessions,

(18:53):
you know, to finish it. But I just went for months,
you know, to these groups because there was people there
that had lived experience similar not not always similar, but
there was a lot of similarities. And I was just
learning so much more than the more than from the facilitators,
I was learning from the people that had gone through
experiences much like my own, you know, and I felt,

(19:14):
for the first time like I found people that actually
knew what it was like, you know. And I found
that with an RI as well as at twelve step
meetings and other support kind of groups, you know, bipolar
support groups, things like this. But yeah, it's sort of
changed my life, you know.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
And really was that just around being able to find
those those common experiences with other people and realize, oh wow,
I'm not the only one.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
Well, like when I was put into that cyclod you know,
I was pretty much told like this is an illness
and you know, these are the symptoms you've got to
watch out for, you know. But within these groups, people
were just sharing the experiences and giving a different perspective,
a strengths based perspective, you know, and open dialogue, you know,
and we were discussing around like how do we how
do we do you know, how do we live with

(19:59):
these these challenges? You know, it was quite the facilitators,
We're all from lived experience too, you know. They were
all a peer support specialists. You know. Eventually they did
the single pet at the peer employment training and I
was like I want to do that, you know. And
that was like a month and you know, we learned
some schools on how to be a peer support and
they had two jobs opening and I applied and they

(20:22):
hired me. You know, I think I just wouldn't leave,
so they had to hire me.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
You know, Like how did that feel though? When they said, hey,
look shel when not only do we want you to
stay around here, but you know, would like to pay you,
would like to give you a job here.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
It was terrifying. I'd been unemployed for years, Like at
this point, I never really was able to hold down
work properly, you know, with all the things, and the
idea of being somewhere three days a week, you know,
eight hours, you know, getting somewhere at eight thirty am
or whatever the time was, three days a week. It
was terrifying, you know. But I also knew I really

(20:56):
wanted to do this, you know, because it had helped
me and I really started to see the how lived
experience and peer support was, like it was life changing
for many others as well, you know, So.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Tell us you're still doing this kind of work.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Yeah, yeah, I'm still with him. You know, I've gone
well through quite a different kind of Like I still
work within peer support, you know, and over the last
six years, I've worked in all you know, I've worked
in different residential services, community services. I've done peer support
within the psych wards like running groups and stuff in there.
I've done it within an emergency department. I've been team

(21:32):
leader of services. I've been part of like co design
for peer support services. I've got a role as a
lived Experience advisor currently and at the moment, I've got
three different roles on the go, you know.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yeah, busy man. Yeah, well, you know, and tell us
how's the sobriety going.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
It's I'll be seven years without anything next month.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Congratulations, that's outstanding.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Yeah, thanks, I mean I didn't. I didn't at the
end of that I didn't even think getting two days
or three days straight was possible. So seven years it
still blows my mind.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
You know, when we've got to take a break, but
when we come back, we want to talk about some
of the other things that you've had happen over the
last seven years, because you've had some amazing experiences which
I really want you to share with the audience, but
you've also had some different challenges as well, which we'll
talk about a little bit more just after the break
here tonight on the Nutter's Club.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Nutters Club now on News Talks.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
I'd be welcome back to the show here with our
guest tonight shown Kahan shown seven years sobriety for someone
who you know, when we talked about how it meant,
you know, your active addiction was from as young as fourteen,
which is young, you know, right through to twenty seven.
That's a huge part of your life. But now that
you're now that you know, you found sobriety sort of

(22:50):
postage twenty seven. It opened up you to be able
to do things you'd never done before. So, you know,
there's probably all sorts of different things you did, But
what was one of the things that you know, you
started doing that perhaps you hadn't done before when you
were in addiction.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I think one of the biggest ones was traveling. I
always wanted to see the world, you know, but I
didn't think it would be possible, you know, like through
all my challenges, it was like a dream. I did
a few trips around the North Island and I couldn't
even managed getting to the South Island day. But you know,
I've been to fourteen different countries now, you know, look.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Just just tell us where have you been? What have
you seen? Some of the highlights?

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Highlights are so many of them, may it's really hard
to I think my favorite place I've been in Japan
and Italy, you know, in Switzerland and Vietnam was really
good as well.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
I love how you just rattled off like several continents
and the islands there like it was nothing. So look,
you know, you've been like Slee Switzerland, so you've been
through Europe and you know your Vietnam, Southeast Asia, Japan.
I mean fantastic.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yeah, I wouldn't have imagined it. And really sobriety has
been you know, the main thing that's allowed that to happen.
You know, like I dreamed of, like into my drinking,
I couldn't get out of the out of my bedroom
unless it was the liquor store. Really, you know, that
was the reality of, you know, having an interlock in
my car. Like even driving around was not you know,
it was getting harder, you know.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
So tell me what had the bitter view at the
end of the day. That Was it the view in
the liquor store or was it the view from the
Swiss Alps.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
I think the view from the Swiss Alps. I mean
when you're going in there, they've got these trains with
massive windows. They know what they're doing, you know, yeah,
you know you're going through these trains and just seeing
the beauty. But you know what I found was Switzerland.
I found it very similar to the South Island. Funnily enough,
you know.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
You did make it to the Southland me.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
I ended up living in the South Island for a bit,
you know, that was a big change for me as well.
I've never lived anywhere outside of Bookland, you know, I
didn't think that was even possible, you know.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, so possible that the art of possibility started to
really come into your.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
Life, definitely.

Speaker 4 (24:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
So with all that in mind, though, you know, you
talked about some pretty major mental health challenges there, you know, bipolar,
and you know you've been talking about, you know, some
some experiences with psychosis. Did you have any of that
still happening for you while you're traveling?

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, so I started experiencing actually around four years of
being sober, I started having a lot of thoughts around
like my food being poisoned and like people coming out
to get me. And funnily enough, around that time, I
was traveling like for the first time internationally, you know,
I'd done my first ever trip to Australia, ever been

(25:30):
in Australia before this, you know, and I started experiencing
quite a lot of paranoia. And I came back to
New Zealand and I already had this took a book
to Thailand and I had a month in Auckland to
to figure out whether not to do this trip. And
I was so close to pulling the depend on it,
you know, because the panic attacks that I was starting
to have, because I thought every time I eat meal,

(25:52):
like ate something, it'd been poisoned and I'm just about
to die, you know. And but I thought, man, you
know what, I'm going to get on the plane to Thailand,
and if worse comes to worst, I'll just get to
take it back, you know. So that was my first thing,
to just get to the plane. And just until I
actually got on the plane, I was probably like, maybe
I might pull the pin here, I might pull the
pin here, you know. Eventually landed in Thailand, and and yeah,

(26:16):
it didn't it didn't stop, you know. Like I remember
being in Stucco Ty and just like really luxurious like resort,
you know, and just being parano with that. The people there,
you know, the hotel guests at this luxury resort, they
were poisoning my water. They were asking me things around
like are you here by yourself? You know, like common
kind of questions. You know that they're asking to show conversation,

(26:37):
but to me, it's like, well, are these guys going
to come in the middle of the night and stab
me or something?

Speaker 2 (26:41):
You know, So you talk about this like you know,
quite calmly now, you know, with reflection. So what changed
to for you to understand now that that that that
wasn't the reality.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
I guess not dying helped, sure.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
I mean, I guess, you know, the proofs in the
pudding or not, you know, the proof wasn't there.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
I think of what I you know, even when I
was going through those things, I was trying to keep
a rational side of my brain, brain in there where
it was sort of like, I know, I've experienced a
lot of these things before, but so far it hasn't happened,
you know. And I remember, in particularly Sircle Ti one night,
I was just really really full on panic, and I thought,
this is this is the end, you know, and and

(27:20):
you know, and I accepted it. I accepted that this
is it. I'm about to die, Like that's how bad
it got. And interesting the day after that, I ended
up getting a bike and just riding around the village
and and it was just such an amazing experience, and
things started to calm down a little bit, you know.
And I don't know, I can't even really say like
how it shifted, you know. I think the main thing is, like,

(27:43):
despite all those challenges, I decided to keep doing it,
and eventually there was a resolution, you know. And that's
not to say that I don't still have those challenges,
because I still live with that stuff, you know, like
every now, even today with this coffee you guys made me.
You know, I didn't see you guys make it, and
I had a little bit of anxiety thinking, but I mean,
you guys want to bring me to a radio show

(28:03):
to kill me, would you?

Speaker 4 (28:05):
Like?

Speaker 2 (28:05):
You know, wow, look it's pretty it's pretty public.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Yeah, exactly. So that's where my rational side of my
brain kind of comes in. It's like, obviously, you guys
want to do anything because it's the public, and I
kind of have to engage your part of me, you know.
But I feel the problem is when you're in an
unknown environment, it feels so real, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
So for you, it's about having understanding those triggers, understanding
those processes, and then being able to essentially self coach
yourself through and in a place that feels okay.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Yeah basically yeah, and if things get really bad, like
I just have to call up some maide or something
and talk it through or something like that.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
You know.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Luckily, because of my travels. I've got friends all around
the different time zone, so there's always someone to call
and talk to if I'm really going through something that's
really useful.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Yeah yeah, but it's also important because this is you
managing your mental health and actually knowing what you need
when you need it. Just amazing, really how much self
awareness that you've been able to generate. And I guess
you know, you do have an academic degree in psychology,
and to me, it almost sounds like you started doing

(29:16):
your own assessment on probably the most important client that
you could ever have yourself. So you know, well done.
I think that's that's just an incredible piece of work
that you actually talked about. But then, of course life
doesn't always give you what you think it is. You know,
seven years sobriety is great. Retching up fourteen countries is

(29:38):
even better.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Wells still one month from seven years, sobriety.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
One month month ago? Ye celebrate too early. So so
you know you're close, you're close, but you know, doing
that filling up the passport fourteen countries amazing experiences, left
right and center. But then look, tell us, you know
you had another set of challenges through what's been happening
to you in the last couple of years.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Well within the last few months actually, I ended up.
I found I went to China and October I came
back and I found out I had cancer, a just
out of the well. I mean, they were testing for it,
but I guess in my head, I was thinking it
was just like a kind of cautionary kind of thing,
you know, it's probably something else, sure, but yeah, it

(30:21):
came back with cancer and they operated on it on
the sixth of January. So that's actually why I'm wearing
the scarf at the moment, is you know, the scar's healing,
protecting from the sun, all that kind.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Of I thought it was a fashion statement here, I'm
making it a fashion states like this guy on a
Sunday night sharp dresser.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
But yeah, that's you know. So I had the surgery
on the sixth of January, and what they found was
a ten centimeter tumor that they are cancers. And there
was two types of cancer. And there there was a
slow growing one so that you know, got into that
size over years, but there was one part of it
that started dividing a bit faster, and there was a
highly aggressive type, you know, and due to that, they're

(31:02):
going to have to do some radiation therapy follow up.
So it's not over yet as well, but I think
that the main risk is out. I guess all I
can really do is to show up to the medical appointments,
you know, do this radiation stuff, and just hopeful the best.

Speaker 4 (31:16):
You know.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, And how does it make you feel now? And
compared to you know, what you went through with your addictions,
you know, what you've gone through with your mental health challenges.
How is this is this similar or is this different?
What's the experience like for you this time?

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Well, it's interesting. When I first found out about the
news in November, I didn't know how bad it was
going to be, really, you know, especially you hear the
word cancer. And I went through, you know, massive panic
and reflected on everything, and it's it's interesting. I came
to this point where I kind of thought, like, it's okay,
you know, if this is the end for me, it's
okay because the last you know, six and a half years,

(31:52):
seven years whatever of my life in sobriety have been
so amazing. You know, the fact that I got not
just employable, but able to support and help others, you know,
and you know, travel these different places and all these
you know, insane experience like doing things like being in
the gun and US and you know, seeing the Eiffel
Tower and being in Athens and you know, just things.

(32:13):
You know, the Neu Schwanstein Castle in Germany, I think
actually is really underrated. You know, that's one of those
locations everyone should take a look into. It's crazy. But anyways,
you know, you know, getting.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
To Expanday, sorry, back to cancer.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, it's not you know, despite all that,
I got to enjoy such a great life, you know,
and the first twenty seven years of my life will struggle,
and you know, the seven years that I've had since then,
since I've been sober, it was so great. I was like,
if this is the end, it's okay, you know. But
now that I don't have the cancer anymore, I'm like, no,

(32:48):
I just want to live a bit more, you know,
like I definitely want to keep living, you know. But
there was definitely peace at it.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
You know, you talked about when you went to that
AA meeting, that the twelve Step meeting, that you know,
you meet someone who had been sober for twenty eight years,
and that you know you wanted that peace. You could
see that peace, You could see that serena. Do you
think you've got just a little bit more of it
than you used to?

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Yeah? I think these things are like they aren't a
permanent state. Ah, It's something I definitely need to work
on in order to keep my sense of peace and serenity.
And you know, life throws different curve balls, you know,
So it's really how how do I show up? What
tools do I practice? How do I cope with these
things to make sure I retain my serenity or peace

(33:35):
of mind?

Speaker 4 (33:36):
You know.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
And it's not going to be perfect. And like I said,
it's like a state that isn't permanent. You know, it's
going to be up and down, you know, but it's
definitely in a tighter range than it used to be,
you know, like it used to be really extreme, higher
than extreme lows, you know, whereas now it's more of
an even keel, you know, still with ups and downs obviously,
as life will do for all of us, you.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Know, and it takes work, right, I mean, sobriety isn't
isn't you know, like a shield from from you know,
all the other parts of life. I mean, sobriety is great,
but it's also not going to predict you from cancer.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Well, the thing about sobriety is it's if it was
just about not drinking and drugging, that's simple. I would
just stop drinking and drugging. A lot of what sobriety
is about is how do I actually show up to
life without substances? How do I deal with things? So
it's an ever growing kind of thing. So having cancer
is another challenge to my sobriety. How am I going

(34:29):
to deal with this sober and without using things? You know,
because there is you know, I can find out I
have cancer and just be like, okay, this is a
like screw this, Like this is all over. I'm just
going to start, you know, you know using things again.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Sure, absolutely right. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
And so that's what sobriety really is around us. It's
not about stopping using substances. It's really about how do
I live? You know, how do I actually live around
the challenges life throws at me? You know where my
default is to use substances is it's finding a new default.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
But I just want to bring in psychotherapist Carle McDonald,
who's been sitting there taking furious amounts of notes. God,
he's he's killed half a forest, which you know for
you is just to translate. But look at I diagree.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
But Kyle, look, you.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Know, in terms of what you know, Sharlon's been talking
about here tonight overcoming addiction. Well at the same time,
you know, living with with quite a quite a hefty
mental health condition such as bipolar disorder. This doesn't sound
particularly easy to a layman like me when I'm hearing it,
and yet he's just raddled this off like it was

(35:32):
almost nothing. I think we can all agree it's not. No,
it isn't.

Speaker 5 (35:36):
I mean, I think it's one of those things where
we know. So I'm just going to get technical for
a moment.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
We know that.

Speaker 5 (35:43):
Bipolar disorder co occurs with addictions quite frequently, and it
kind of makes sense when you think about it, because
bipolar disorder both has the depressive features where people you
know often will use substances to feel better in simple terms,
but we'll also when experiencing hypermnics, so manix states where
people are still in control of their behavior but are

(36:06):
in an elevated state, or manic states where they're less
control of their behavior and in a much more elevated
state are impulsive and so drag us sort of naturally
comes along with that as just drinking and other kind
of impulsive behaviors which are harmful. So what's tricky though,
And I mean I think you know, you talked it
really clearly through. It's often not possible to get really

(36:30):
clear what's going on until you're sober, right, so you
can actually see what's going on underneath all the substances.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Yeah, I think that's the biggest challenge I had, Like
for most of my life, I wasn't sure if it
some mental health thing or if for addiction thing, you know.
And yeah, when I got sober about eighteen months into it,
well probably about nine months until it really I found
out I needed to do to support around my mental
health as well. It wasn't just an addiction thing.

Speaker 5 (36:54):
Yeah, well, unfortunately, I mean, I think a lot of
our services in New Zealander still treat everything like it
is one or the other. But for lots of people,
in fact, you know, probably the majority of people, it's
always both mental health and addictions because you know, one
feeds the other, or what someone's trying to medicate the other,
and just to say something about your experience is what

(37:15):
you're overseas, because I think it's important for people out
there her listening and kind of might be wondering what
was going on. So, you know, in manic states, sometimes
people can experience what we call psychotic anxiety, and essentially
what that means is a level of anxiety that is
so dysregulated and so intent that our fear starts to
tell us what reality is. And actually anxiety is always

(37:37):
like that when you think about it, because if you're
anxious and there's nothing to be afraid of, your anxiety
is already telling you what reality is. But written really
extreme states like you described, then it can get to
the point where we can take the people are out
to get us are causing us hum because we feel
so frightened that our fear is projecting out into the
world and shaping reality in a way that other people
wouldn't be sharing that same reality with us.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
It's a psychotic but right.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
I think it's fantastic that you're able to find your
way through that. But more so and I think this
is the bit for people out there who are listening
to understand and is it actually there are ways in
which to actually live with those symptoms and to manage
them and to have positive self talk, and to have
routines and you know, I'm sure all sorts of regulation
strategies and skills that you utilize to be able to

(38:23):
have those feelings, live alongside them and not let them
disrupt your life in a way like you were describing
when you were.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Overseas Madden, Good morning to you.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
Oh hey man, nice story. Yeah from Selwyn can like
real Heart.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Yeah, really hard to seven Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
Oh well i I'm from to seven four Hotel real Heart.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
A lot of respects out to real Heart. Yeah. What
a story. And especially when you first well had you
over those like being at school when and your English
teacher say to you if you're slow like that would
have been like real, like frightening. I can understand that
was did your English teacher using sign language when your

(39:15):
English teacher said that to you if you were mentally slow?

Speaker 3 (39:19):
No she didn't.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
Oh yeah, or was it like was it was it
in a physical education was it?

Speaker 3 (39:25):
No? No, No, it was literally just an English class
at the end.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Oh yeah. And then afterwards and then afterwards you you heard.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
It over those Yeah, it was a couple of years
after that that was yeah probably yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah,
lev and I had the overdose.

Speaker 4 (39:42):
Overdose yeah yeah. Oh then you ended up in the
Selvim Center in paper was it?

Speaker 3 (39:50):
No, No, I ended a couple of months after that.
I ended up in the Papac police station over.

Speaker 4 (39:55):
There, police station. Oh yeah. And then when you went into.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
The cycle board, yep, that's it.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Yeah, oh cool, and and that that was frightening me.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Oh yeah, man as a as a fifteen year old,
Well anyone you know at the age doesn't ever matter
for that, Like going into a psych world can be
quite a scary experience.

Speaker 4 (40:12):
And that's psych wood in Auckland Hospital yep.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yeah, there's an adolest one over there in Auckland Hospital.
I wasn't one in South Aakland. That's why I.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
Ended up in Auckland, so I wasn't around it.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
How is adults only? I think ateen But I've been
I've been in there as an adult as well, So yeah,
like that. My first experience was in the Auckland one
because that's an adolescent one, but I've been in ti
Homa as well.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Yeah yeah, except adults. I never knew Auckland the hospital
had a mental Ormal Center, because I know I wish
they have Mason Turn of Growth.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
Yeah. Have you have you had your own experiences with
with you know, turned some of the me into health
services Maden.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
Oh, definitely, Yeah. Yeah, they had my experiences of why
are you the gateway of bipolo? Is it your schizophren
isn't it.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Kyle? It can be?

Speaker 5 (41:10):
Yeah, yeah, look, I mean but I mean, if again,
if we want to get technical, one of the things
with bipolar disorder is agains at the point where people
are frequently experiencing psychotic symptoms. Then it's what we call
schizo effective disorder, which is where people have a mood
disorder and the psychotic but as well.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
So yeah, that's what they said last time with their
distartment from the psych word. It said, unknown to him,
he's got effective disorder. But no one's ever ready talked
to me about that. But I do know that is
something I experience, you know, and I've sort of had
to do my own research around that. Funnily enough, because
I've sort of been outside of the services since my
last time, so I've been out of the it's about

(41:50):
five when was that twenty twenty one, So I've been
about five years out of the psych border mental health
teams and sort of managing on my own kind of
thing with good support around me obviously, you know.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Awesome. And I'm getting your degree in the university, you know,
getting through there. It's like real, what a story, awesome story.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
It can it can happen mat as possible.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
Yeah, well, well I've got an opportunity to do a
university course, so I might look into it. We're getting
inspired by so and Tim.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
What are you thinking, madam? What would you like to do.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
At I of course at the university. I wouldn't like
getting into like something like accounting, buzzarting, savings.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
Go for it. Tell you what, I've met a lot
of really interesting people in finance. I grew up being told,
oh yea, they want to get involved in finance, it's
all bean counters. And then I actually started meeting people
in finance, and I thought wow, I thought I knew
crazy people. And then you meet people in finance.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
Oh yeah, well you know, fine aspects the world goes around,
and I wouldn't mind seeing how a mint machine operates,
how they're big money and that kind of stuff there.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Well Perth, Perth is the place
for that. If you want to go and see where
the money gets made, that's that's the spot.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
So our gets made.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
And my understanding is that our coins and our cash
is is all made off sure, yeah, yeah, and then
and then it's brought in him. The Perth Mint is
where it's made. Of course you've been there. You've been
you've been to the Perth Mint.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Yeah, not not mint, but I've been through Perth. I
didn't find much interesting there. We drive two hours to
a desert to look at some rocks, the pinnacles up there.
I don't know. Yeah, the Perth was a good place
to live, though I reckon cost of living and stuff
was cheap, you know, but lots of kiwis.

Speaker 5 (43:49):
Yeah that's not as good as the Blues last night.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Now, yeah, that's right, that's right. Madam. Thank you so
much for your call. I really appreciate that. Great conversation.
Much appreciated. We are going to have to take a
break when we come back. More of your calls, more
of your texts, if you want to join the conversation.
I've got one free line there now. I eight one
hundred and eighty ten eighty bexing.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
This is the Nutters Club thanks to New Zealand on
air on News Talk ZB.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
Welcome back to the Nutterers Club. We'll go straight back
to the lines because you've been holding for a while.
You're very patient, though, Daniel, good morning to you.

Speaker 6 (44:26):
Good morning. I've got to use the speaker function on
the flying I'm sorry if I'm an eco wee person.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
No note, you sound absolutely fine to us on this end.

Speaker 6 (44:36):
Great at the first became mentally ill when i was
seventeen working for the job at Sky Television. I'm a tradesman.
I built houses, built a lot of houses, residential housing
and was now the diagnosed change it's effective disorder. And

(44:57):
I'm really this year, I'm really learning a lot. The
other people are coming in my life, other people who
suffer from elders us, you know. And I'm cautious that
big friends with people that you meet in basketball, the

(45:18):
fatships that you make because I'm a local to Awkland,
sure and there a mate. It's just getting bit mutch
because I'm coming back to work after a long time
of just there's a lot of builders to get in
suicide in the construction industry, losing our tradings.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Well, it's a lot of high pressure, isn't it, Daniel,
And you know that all too well. You would know
that all too well.

Speaker 6 (45:46):
They wouldn't make it simple for people the first time
by is a tiny home and the fixt the house,
the grandy flat law, the new new thing Luxeon's brought in.
It's changed the game. Now we can work. Now I
can work without council consent. Putting that cabin on the
on the on the corner to get in the house

(46:09):
to fix it. Yeah, it's it needs that. That building
needs to be done by by a certified building great destioner.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
And you're the man.

Speaker 6 (46:20):
I'm the man, and I'm working on it. I'm back
to work great now. Time I get off the benefits
three one lot a long time.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Personally, Daniel, thanks for your you know, sharing your experiences there,
especially going through you know, it's because the effective disorder
and all that stuff. And yeah, like I was unemployed
for most of my life, you know, like holding down
a job was so difficult, so I relate to that,
and even getting back to work was quite a challenge.

Speaker 4 (46:49):
You know.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
It sounds like you've gone through a few things, you know,
in recent times, but you know you're you're going to
throw it and you're actually you know, getting back there
and living again, which is amazing.

Speaker 4 (46:58):
Man.

Speaker 6 (47:00):
Well I think is oh mate, Yeah, to get back
end of the trade. We needed to for a long time.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
Yeah, it's really yeah, you know it's a lot of
hard work to do that, you know, because yeah, going
into construction, there's a lot of stuff in there, you know,
but you know you're.

Speaker 6 (47:19):
Doing building is appalling, mate, at Northcote, it's appalling. It's
ugly three story prisons reconstructing. Yeah, that's that social healthing
situation there. It's no good mate, thirty years that stuff's
going to be a hovel right now?

Speaker 5 (47:41):
Have you had support yourself to help you get back
into the work.

Speaker 6 (47:44):
Getting support now, I've got beer support, fantastic, We've got yeah,
I got peer support and ps W.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
How have you found peer support?

Speaker 6 (47:55):
Oh they're just there to do their job, get paid
and go home.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
You know.

Speaker 6 (48:00):
Yeah, this is I mean, a food parcel is supposed
to arrive, never happens.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, because, like I had
a peer support once in the community and it was
very similar kind of experience, you know, And this is
something I got.

Speaker 6 (48:16):
I got peport person. I got Ukrainian Jewish person, And I.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
Guess this is the thing with anything in healthcare that
I've discovered as well. Sometimes you'll go see a doctor
and it won't be any good, and then you go
see another doctor will be really good. You know, some nurses.
This variance in the healthcare professional and also a variance
in how people connect as well, you know, like the
right person to And there's a lot of people within

(48:46):
my peer support career that I probably wouldn't have been
able to help as much as other people, you know,
like there was things challenges I couldn't relate to, you know,
because the whole thing is around foundation and lived experience.
You know, when I can connect with the person that
I've gone through something similar, there's some kind of hope
that's sparked by that. But you know, if it's you know,

(49:06):
experiences that outside my scope, it's a bit harder, you know,
but we can't still build that rapport, you know, And
I'm sorry that you know, your experiences with the peers
to board haven't been that good. I recommend, you know,
try to get someone else if possible, within that organization,
you know, you know, there's definitely there would be more
other peers supposed to look into, you know, if that
is a path you want to go down.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
You know, Kyle, you talk about this often when it
comes to trying and find you know the right person
to work with, right, it's you don't always get it
right the first time.

Speaker 5 (49:35):
No, it's not about the right it's not about you know,
whether or not you like someone, or it's not personal.
It's actually just any human relationship. And I say this
in the first session of everyone I meet with is
just like any other human relationship, if you don't click
and get along, then it's probably not going to work.
And actually we know to say it even stronger, we
know in counseling and psychotherapy, if it doesn't click, it's

(49:57):
not going to work. That's not to say that at
times you might not have disruptions or disagreements or like
any human relationship, but that first meeting, I think it's
really important you feel like it's the right person. And
that doesn't metter whether it's a GP, a psychiatrist or
a peace support worker.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
It's got to be right.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
I've been in and out of therapy for years. Theyah,
and it took me a long time to find someone
actually connected with that I could be open with and
you know, talking to Cayle today, I might have them
up afterwards.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Look, I've got a couple of text messages I want
to come to Daniel. Thank you so much for you
call and all the best. And like I said, you know,
take take a little bit of advice there and give
that a try maybe, and just see if you can
find somebody else, because I'll tell you what, Mate, with
everything it sounds like you're going through, you are most
deserving of having some support while you go back through
this transition.

Speaker 5 (50:44):
It's a big one, and of course it's a hard conversation,
but I mean it is the simplest as being able
to say, hey, look, I don't think we click. Is
it possible that I can meet with someone else and
give it a go.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
What's the worst that could happen? Yeah, Looking at a
couple of text messes here, I just want to read
this one just says how wonderful that is to have
such open talk about mind health issues. And that's from
Sarah with love to all the lonely despairing people of
all ages. Thank you so much, Sarah, much appreciate And
this one says all the best, mate. I'm coming up

(51:16):
nine years clean and sober, always will be, but one
day at a time. Spent thirty years living in chaos
and destruction, I know that feeling of serenity and peace
in my mind and soul, and I hold on to
it just for today. And that's from Jason. Amazing Jason,
and I think that's what they say, right, you know,

(51:37):
you just say it's just one day at a time,
take it easy. But I mean, look, it's not. I
mean I'm saying it's not just like it's a wonderful
way to approach sobriety is just to do it one
day at a time. But have you found that the
same approach for other parts of your health have been
you know, both mental and physical. You know, you've talked
about mental health tonight, you've talked about cancer. Has it
been the same approach as it has been for sobriety?

(51:59):
Is there similarities?

Speaker 3 (52:01):
Yeah, I mean there's definitely different tools and strategies you
can use, and that is one of it. Recently, I've
been trying to lose a bit of way to so
about a week or two ago, I went up to Clevetond.
You know, the thousands steps up there. The thousand vertical
steps is bloody for someone. So I'm felt like me,
it's a meschonee And I was, I don't know, like.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Three safe for anybody mate, Seriously.

Speaker 3 (52:22):
I did it again yesterday actually, and it was it
was a lot bit easier. The more you do it consistently,
the easier it gets. But anyways, you know, going back,
I don't know, it was like three weeks ago something, yeah,
and every one hundred and fifty steps I had to stop.
And somewhere in the middle of it, I was like,
with my addiction, I had to get to this point
where this became life or death, you know, and where
my physical health is now with you know, I mean,

(52:44):
I'm not like super overweight, but I'm not doing myself
any favors with the weight that I do have, and
it's you know, I'm thirty five this year, you know,
and it's going to get harder to manage my weight.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
You know.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
The older I get is what I hear, and it's
becoming life or death, you know, Like I can you know,
I'm putting myself at rest for like you know, problems
with blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, all this kind of stuff
will start becoming a problem within the next ten year.
So I pretty much did that same thing. I was
like over it halfway, like not even halfway through this
bloody thousand step climb. I'm like, I don't want to do,

(53:16):
you know, but I'm like, I have to. This is
life or death for me now, you know, Like, and
the only way that I can survive this is just
do the next few steps. Eventually I got to the top,
you know, and it was a decent view.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
It's always good when you look back on the progress
you've made, right, Yeah, Well, I hope you're enjoying some
of that tonight because you know you've done a figurative
thousand steps more than a few times. Well that's it
for this episode of The Nutters Club. Thanks so much
to our excellent guest Shelwyn Kahn, as well as all

(53:50):
your awesome calls and texts. If you like what you
heard and you think it might help someone out there,
then please share this episode on your own channels or
with family and friends. And if you ever want to
be on the show, then just give us a call
or a text when we broadcast live on Newstaloks. He'd
be I live in pm nights New Zealand standard time.

(54:10):
Check out newstalkzb dot co dot nz for local frequencies
or a link to the live stream. A big thanks
to New Zealand on Air for their ongoing support in
making this show. Take care and always remember that the
world it's a better place with you in it. Life
has showIn told us it isn't easy, it is, however,

(54:32):
worth it.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
For more from Newstalk ZEDB, listen live on air or online,
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