April 11, 2026 • 37 mins
It's school holidays, and boredom is setting in...
While it can send parents into a bit of a spiral hearing their children complain about how bored they are all day long - being bored is one of those skills we all need to learn at some point.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks
at b Texas.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Second tell by the way he's to stamping rounroom.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
And judging by.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The smile tree all his face, there's nothing I can do.
It doesn't take a Christal bar to see a cowboy
always bounds away drinking jackob By myself. He's choosing Texas
(00:41):
icond test.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Well.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I guess he forgot about the smoky Mountain rain. The
bull hangings them.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yes, So welcome back to the Weekend Collective Upton Beverage.
This is the Parents Squad where obviously you know what
we talk about all things parenting, not all things at once,
of course, but of course at school holidays, you know,
the boredom can be settling in and so look, I
think it's a challenge that often sends parents into a
bit of a spiral, you know, hearing of their children
complain about how bored they are all day long, and
(01:25):
you know, what do you what do you actually have
to do to keep your kids occupied? But how I
guess the question around it is, I mean, I get
the sense I don't know about you as a parent,
but I think a little bit of a little bit
of boredom sometimes goes a long way. It's not something
I also, I'll be honest, I don't remember it particularly
(01:49):
being much of an issue when I was a kid,
because I don't know, do we have better ways of
amusing ourselves or I'm not sure. I don't know what
it is, but it seems that there is more anxiety
I think a lot of the time, and this need
to keep your kids busy. I would imagine that some
of that is also driven by the fact that you know,
parents are working. Of course they don't get to take
(02:10):
time off, and you want to know that your kids
are not just sitting at home on their devices, et cetera.
So what's your what's your approach to boredom and your
kids in activity? Is a bit of boredom a good thing?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty text nine to nine two
and joining me to discuss it? He is well, he's
a regular on the show. Now it's Google Sutherland, principal
psychologist at Umbrella Well Being.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Can I google? How are you going?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Got a tim? I'm well made?
Speaker 5 (02:40):
How are you not too bad? Did you you're a
boredom warrior? Do you ever worry about the old, you know,
whether you've.
Speaker 6 (02:47):
Got no No, I do worry. When our kids was younger,
I did worry picking up on what you said before
about them being on their devices all the time and
how that might be the substitute for boredom. Nowadays, I
think boredom is a good thing. Actually, I think it's
nice to have a bit of nice to have.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
A at of boredom.
Speaker 6 (03:06):
I think it's good gets kids creative, gets them thinking,
gets them active.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Has boredom the new PlayStation?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Imagine if you can market it like PlayStation.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Imagine that we are going to bore your kids senseless
with our fantastic product. It's called a book, mind you.
Actually books are not boring there anything, But.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's not boring at all, is it.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
That's funny I've been I'm not a child, obviously, but
with our kids having left home more recently, I've found
myself occasionally getting a bit bored and going, oh, okay,
what I've.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Just got time on my hands? Well, what should I do?
And that's that's It's not a bad thing, I don't think.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
I think that's actually a really interesting bit of honesty
from you. Not because I'm surprised that you're honest, because
I would assume you're honest all the time to so
it sounds like a backhanded insight, didn't it.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
I know what you mean.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I've you know, we all have our habits of how
we fill our time, and for some people it's hitting
the button on Netflix. I've got nothing to do, click way,
I mean, because goodness me, it's not like the old
days of TV one, two and three, which I can
remember where.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
But I it's because I'll be honest as well. I
you know, I've always had my.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Series, which I will tune in for it too from
time to time. And then I suddenly looked at it
and I thought. I didn't say this consciously, but I went,
I'm sick of TV.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I've got to start.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And I started reading, and the stumbling block happens is
now I would get to a stage where I'm like, oh, good,
I get to pick up my book because I've been
lucky that I've read a couple of really interesting books,
and you know, I'm a bit of a piecemeal reader,
so I'm always going back and recapping and anyway, then
I finished a couple of really good books and I
(04:55):
was like, I don't know what to read. Next I
came across the same block.
Speaker 7 (05:01):
Yeah, it's good, though, I think it's a good tr
I'm definitely trying to resist that temptation just to go
on the screen and turn on you know, you're streaming platform,
what you've chosen one of those, because I don't know,
I just have a I have an aversion to watching
TV when I'm during the day pretty most of the time.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
I think it's a hang of it from childhood when
you're never allowed to watch team work. There wasn't much
on but you know, but but you were allowed, we
were allowed anyway during the day, and I just still.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Have an aversion to it. It's like, no, no, we
should have the TV.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
We should be reading or outside or doing something or
cooking or I don't know, taking the dogs for a walk.
So I think it's good to help them find stuff
to do, because.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I mean, the obvious question is I mean, we all
have an instant gut reaction. I wonder if there's anyone
here who's listened, anyone who's listening right now that won't
have an instant response which is exactly the same as
mine and yours to this question. Do kids need to
learn to be bored. Of course they do.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
But I I mean, that's just an easy ahead of
a question, isn't it. But of course, I mean I
don't think it's.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Actually the funny thing is I'm trying to I'm going
to struggle away around this one. But I don't think
we want kids to be bored. No, we need them
to get to that state where they have to find
something to do.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Imagine a kid literally sitting on the couch, not knowing
what to do, not really thinking about life, just staring
at the wall. That's not what we want to learn
them to cope with.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
No, No, no, I agree, I agree. You want them
to get to them.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Oh we've just lost you. We've just lost Google. Hang
on a second, No, you're back.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I left. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
No, you want them to get to the stage where
they're just you know, they're just doing I'll do this,
or I'll try that, or how about this.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But our nemesis, our nemesis comes back, does not social
media or the intern will return.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Actually, what we might do Google, I might get you
to turn your camera off because we're just getting a
little bit of buffering there with your audio so much
as I love to see your smiling face. And I'll
do the same thing as well, because we're just sorry,
we're just having a little bit of buffering. And I
must say, I confess I'm suspicious that cyclones are to
blame because it does seem that it's getting a bit grayer. Sorry,
(07:30):
go back to what you were saying about that you
know that headspace between boredom and filling it?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Yeah, I just picking up what you said really around
you know that space where kids then have to find
they find something to do and engage with something, they
trott something you.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Yeah, and we've still got some buffering issues there. Actually,
we are just losing you a bit. I might just well,
we'll see how we go with that. It might just
be a temporary buffering problem at the moment. But we'd
love your calls on this as well. Do kids need
to learn to be bored? Look, that's the cheap, easy
(08:08):
access question for it. But what is I mean, what
do you remember when you were a child of being bored?
And is it more about you need to just create
the space where your imagination can.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Start to activate a little bit. I just check if
Google's still there, actually we still get your Google.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I'm still here. I'm getting you loud and clear.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
But I know that's all right. It might have just
been it might have just been a brief blit. Okay,
psychological yes, what about the busy kids? Is there a
danger in just trying to keep your kids busy all
the time?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
It depends whose busyness it is, I reckon, is it
the parents business or is it the kid's business?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
You know, often parents are always trying to get their
kids into things and I've got this, they've got that,
and let's do them. Those will get them ahead if
they have extra this and extra that. But if kids
are really into it, and they're leaving full lives that
they want to lead and that are useful for them,
then I think that's good. But some times I think
it can be but two parent leads sometimes.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Well.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
The other thing that's cropped into my mind as part
of the conversation was that often busy kids it doesn't
stop them being bored. The fact that you've got them
doing truckloads of things. I can imagine there be times
when children are at all this event or that event,
but if they're not engaged with it, they're probably just
as bored as if they were sitting on the sofa.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
Yeah, that's very true. You can be doing something but
actually quite mentally bored. Really can't you if you're not
really engaged in it. I can remember doing tennis lessons
when I was when I was young, and I was
pretty horrible and terrible at it, and I just spent
a lot of time just being deadly bored that I
was there. But Mum said, no, no, you have to start.
You've started. You have to see through the term.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
It's like make this. So that wasn't all that. I
was pretty bored then, and I wasn't really good at
tennis either.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
I got to say, I'm just getting this image of
like Google, it's your turn and you walk into the corner.
Oh god, do I have to serve?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Did it? I'm out? Yeah? No, I didn't love it.
Love most sports, but never really got tennis. I'm afraid
get that. Couldn't get the top spin on it.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Oh well, okay, well that's slightly fatal to a tennis career.
It was Hey, what about I mean, do you think
what do you striking the space of boredom with kids?
I mean, is there any shoe around just kids not
allowing themselves to just have a bit more space. Again,
I'm almost bored with the word boredom, but yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I think there's less of it
now because the defaulters pick up your device, will get
on a screen, and I think that sort of substitutes
perhaps I think it's a band aid. It glosses over
what might be boredom otherwise, but it doesn't necessarily mean
you're using your time wisely. If you're on a screen,
it just means you And I think we have lost
(10:54):
the art of just kind of doing nothing. We immediately
go to our phones or our screens or whatever, and
it's nice just to not do some something like that sometimes.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I think.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I actually, I think that's where we went when I
was thinking about the topic for today's discussion around boredom,
because it's such an easy you know, yeah, it's such
an easy sort of theme to we know what we're
talking about. But it really is about the art of
doing nothing, isn't it?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Or very little.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and seeing what happens. I think,
right as you say, you don't want considering there staring
at the walls, but the idea is getting bored, so that.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Then something comes. Then something you get challenged to do
something new.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
You have an idea, you think, I'll try that, and
lots of good things come from that. I think there's
a reasonable amount of psychology literature saying boredom is quite
good for creativity because people get bored and then they
start thinking and having ideas which they may not have otherwise.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Well, that's about I mean that. I think there is
something even just in terms of the way the brain
functions that I mean, if you're always keeping it's a
bit like a parking space, if you're always shoving a car.
If there's always a car in the space, there's no
vacuum for something, you know, something else to get in there.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
That's a terrible analogy, you know what I mean. You
can come up with a better one than can't you.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Yeah, you've got too many apps open on your phone,
and actually your hard drive just needs to defragment for
a while, and you've got.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You're buffering, there's buffering. There's too much buffering going on.
You just need to stop and allow yourself just to
be for a little while.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
I think it's I think it's great and we should
encourage our kids to do it, take everything off them,
put them and put them outside.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
What about.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
See, see, I've always look our kids. My daughters love reading,
and I have to give a credit. I'm going to
give one hundred percent of the credit to my wife,
who you know, just introduce made sure that they always
had a great supply of books. You know, it's one
of the holiday activities. We're going to go shopping for books,
(12:51):
you know, and they're latest. And look, that's that's on
her because she, I mean, she's a teacher and everything.
But I mean not all teachers are going to shove
that down their kids. You know, I don't mean shoving
down their throats, but you know what I mean, give
them the opportunity for it to be a really rich
part of their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, it's good because.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
When I think, I'm trying to think about, you know,
the idea of if my girls didn't have a book
that they were looking at. Because they do keep themselves
busy with something. I'm not sure how much time they
spend well, actually they're teenagers to probably spend plenty of
time just lying on their beds thinking and I think
as long as their phones out.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
There listening to music, times changed. That't though.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I can remember my brother getting told off for reading
too much when we were just put that book.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Down, get outside. Will you get some fresh air?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Actually, that's quite funny. I'm sure there are parents who
do that now, wouldn't they.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Be Probably well, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I mean, if you want them to get some exercise,
if their glued to a book and you're like, god,
the sun is shining, when you just put that book
down and get outside. I mean, I think I can
almost hear myself saying it.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
We can never quite be satisfied as appearance can. We
never quite a hard work. There are too much on screen,
they're too much, that's reading books too much.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
They're out too much. So they've got too many friends,
they haven't got enough friends. Sometimes, Yeah, we do make
it hard for them and ourselves.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I think at time.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I love this quote here. Somebody sent me Crist's sender
text saying, my dad told me about sixty years ago,
make yourself the most interesting person you know, as that's
who you're going to be spending most of your time with,
which is nice.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
It's kind of cute, but also, yeah, I have a
couple of reflections and that I can't sum up how
I'm thinking about that.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I mean, it's a very philosophical time the evening for you,
this evening is that it isn't it?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well?
Speaker 5 (14:33):
What I mean is.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What I mean is it says you're that's the person
you're going to spend the most of your time with.
There's a part of me that thinks that that's a
prediction of loneliness as well. But I don't think it's
meant that way, is it?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Yeah? Yeah, no, No, I think there's some truth in that.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
You do spend you better get to know yourself and
kind of like yourself, you know, reasonably because you do that.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
And so if you're not, you know, if you're not
comfortable at least with most of yourself, then that's a
cool place to be. So I think it's wise advice
from from from that text.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, okay, we're going to take a quick moment. I
guess the thing is for you parents out there, how
do you cope with kids when they're like you've got
nothing to do? What is the solution you give them?
Do you just leave them for their own devices and
wait for them to fill in the gaps or do
you have a few go to suggestions, like we'll just
get outside in the garden.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Just something that resonates with me as well.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty text nine nine two Google, Sutherlands.
My guess we'll be back in just a ticket's twenty
two past five. Yes, News Talks be this is the
parents Squad. We're with Google Sutherland. Well where we we
sort of with Google because we're sort of not with
Google because I'm convinced that there is a little bit
of atmospheric disturbance going on and we've got oh, we
have got them back Google.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Are you there here?
Speaker 6 (15:52):
I am on back and blazing on all cylinders.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Oh oh oho, Okay, Well, I'm just going to step
out and we'll leave the audience with you. You can
just take over. I've also there's an observation I want
to make that I was just having a chat with
my producer Tyra, who won't mind me relaying the basic
the gist of the conversation, and I think it is
(16:18):
I think it's a it is harder for our kids
these days.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Because she was.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Talking about how, you know, she was part of a
generation where you'd go out on your bikes and I
love this instruction from her. Mum was been like, come
back when the street lights come on, because that's when
it's dinner. And we don't really let our kids do
that these days so much do we?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
We don't know.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
I think a lot perhaps, and you know, less built
up areas and maybe provincial areas, there's still a lot
of that goes on, but certainly big cities. I don't
think people do that hardly any more. I can remember
going to stay with a friend on the farm out
in Dunedin, just out on the tyrie, and we would
do that. We'd take off on our bikes and we'd
(17:01):
say we'll see you tonight and off we go, sit
around the tiree planes and going to all sorts of things,
but nothing bad, but just good fun.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
It was just good, you know, we were young teenagers.
It was good fun.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah, because well, same thing.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I grew up in right Aua and when I was
I'm sure when I was seven or eight, i'd just
tell Mum, I'm going along to some best mate Kevin,
you know, jump on the bike or just walk along.
Whereas maybe it's not so much a time thing as much,
but bigger cities. I mean, there are plenty of headlines
of kids getting you know, assaulted out of the blue
(17:36):
on trains and stuff like that. We're just we are
a more worried generation appearance, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I think.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
Look, it's a busier place to you know, wandering around
Central Auckland all the suburbs.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
You know, it's not it's a busy place. There's lots
going on. It's quite different.
Speaker 6 (17:52):
Even when when I was young and growing up in
the need and you know, we'd go down to the
park at the bottom of our street and go into
the bush and play war in the town for hours
and hours, but there was really nobody around. And I
think the busyness of life has changed that a lot.
I had an answer to your check to your question
before the break too, you know, about what do you
(18:13):
say to your kids when they're bored? And I can
remember my daughter particularly would say this, and I would say, look,
I can I'm going to suggest three things, but I'm
only going to make suggestions if.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
You don't poop poo them immediately.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
So and so we got into this routine where she
would say, Dad, I'm bored. Can you think of three
things for me, and so I would and I avoided
saying things like you could.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Do the dishes, you can work in the floor, you.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Know, because those are obvious parent things to say, so
I avoided those, and I would try and I would
come up with something like, you know, you could read
your book, you could do da da. And it's not
necessarily that she would pick up one of the things
that I said, but she would often cause her to
think about something related and go, oh, I've got to
thank you, and if you go and do something.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
So it was it was quite good.
Speaker 6 (18:58):
But there was an agreement that I wouldn't suggest done
things and she wouldn't immediately just poopoo them just because
it was your dad said.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Seeing them, and it did work quite well for her.
Speaker 5 (19:07):
I can remember what what do you remember particular suggestions
that were you know, yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
Well I just thought about what the things that she'd
been doing over the last week, you know, maybe she'd
been you know, and this is when she was at
primary school, so maybe she'd been playing, I don't know,
with a particular set of toys or something.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
And it was never screens. I never suggested screens. I
mean I think I would often.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Say you could read a book, or you could go
and do such and such, or have you thought about
playing with dah dah? And usually that was enough for
her to Again, she didn't necessarily take up the suggestions,
but it just got her thinking and it was a
catalyst to her going and doing something.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And nine times out of ten it worked.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
And yeah, well that parents having a bit of imagination too.
There'd be some of parents would be like, oh, I
can't think of three things myself.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
That's true. Look, it was a bit of a struggle
at times. It was like you could do the now,
and you know, there was a temptation.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
You could come up for a title for my thesis
is Google?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What about that? Yeah? No, she should Strangely, that didn't
really resonate for her.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
That would be great fun if I came up, If
I if I said to my girls, because I've been
thinking about writing a play on something which I'll keep
to myself, and I would probably say, you need to
come up for a title for my play.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Nice, it's very good. One, that's very good.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
It's a little teaser when I finally get around to
right in the thing. Right, let's take some calls lou Hello.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
Hi, how are you good thing?
Speaker 5 (20:39):
So how you don't good?
Speaker 6 (20:41):
Thank you?
Speaker 8 (20:41):
I just wanted to call and say I love it
with my kids are board. It's like one of my
favorite things for them to come and tell me and
they say, I'm bored mum, and I just say, that's
so cool. You can now do whatever you want, Like
what a cool place to get yourself in a position
that you can now figure out what you want to
do and go and do it. Like that's a cool
feeling to have.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
That sounds so appealing.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
I actually my producer was scowling, but she's actually scowling approval.
She's going she sounds like such a cool mum.
Speaker 8 (21:09):
No, I thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
But actually it's like Zen, you're saying boredom is zen?
Speaker 8 (21:15):
It is because imagine as an adult, like if we
got to feel bored more often, Like we are so
into being so hyper productive and we have to be
doing stuff all the time, but that feeling of being
bored and being able to really figure out what does
you feel like doing next?
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Oh God, you're making me want to be bored.
Speaker 8 (21:32):
I want to be bored as well.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Doogle.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Yeah, No, I think it's it's great and I love that.
Speaker 6 (21:37):
I love the spin the reframe on that, moving it
from oh my god, I'm bored to ah, excellent, I'm bored.
Now what an opportunity that presents me with I think
that's a really nice spin on it.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Yeah, I also wants it's Lou. By the way, just
in case you didn't catch a name Google, I actually
want to say it's it's easy to sort of think, oh,
you know, that's just a quirky take on it, but
I think that actually loves onto something that with that
isn't it? It's that you've you've got yourself in a
state where you can make a choice to do whatever.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You want.
Speaker 8 (22:12):
One thing, and you can then move on to your
next thing. Like that's a really cool position and you
don't have it to do list right, Yeah, there's no
one's got expectations of you. So now'll figure out what
do you want to do? You want to read a book?
Do you want to go outside and play in the sandpit?
Do you want to go down the road and see
your mate?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Forget that out, good shivers.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I'm going to have to bottle this little bit of
advice up and to my kids. Does that always work
for you though, Lou? Because I can here's me being
a kid. I'll pretend. You have to pretend that your mum.
I know that's going to feel weird, and it's like, oh,
just let's say we're friends, Lou, I'm bored.
Speaker 8 (22:47):
That's so cool. Do you know what you might want
to do next? There's so many things you could go outside,
you could do whatever you want to do.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I knew you'd say that, but I can't think of
a single thing.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
Well, I reckon if you go outside, Bud and come
back in five minutes to will have figured out what
you feel like doing.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
Good, call okay you when.
Speaker 8 (23:07):
Honestly and normally we're I don't know whether it just
annoys them that I like kind of don't care that
they're bought, you know, like it doesn't phase me. They're
not going to come and get a reaction from me,
but they just don't really come and say it. But
I'm also lucky. I've got four children. We live on
a reasonable size section, like in a semi rural town.
I let my kids walk down the road to friends
houses they had to sleep over. Last night, two of
(23:29):
my boys and they walked downtown and picked up pizza
and then they ate it at the local school. Like
that was another thing I wanted to mention. I've read
this amazing book called The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Hate,
which is a life changing book, and it's just about
what you were talking about, like really living our kids
go out and do things, and trust in our kids
that they can do that and they can judge the
risk involved and leaving them practice.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Guess guess who we're trying to get on our show.
Speaker 8 (23:55):
Oh are you?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Oh my gosh, we have got we haven't got them yet,
but nothing will beat having Google a Google right.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Now, I'm over here just.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
By the way, lou When did you come up with
this way of approaching it, because I mean, I don't
want to overdo it, but I do think that's a
really cool way of handling it.
Speaker 8 (24:20):
I think it was probably pretty early on. I had
four kids within five years, so I just didn't actually
have the capacity to be able to redirect my kids
or give them you know what I mean. Like I've
never been able to pander to that. They've always had
to kind of figure it out themselves, and so I
think that that has helped that your board, But like,
and also we always have books We've got like there's
(24:41):
so much in the backyard. There's football's like, it's not
like there isn't stuff to do at all. And I
when when they were younger, I'd set up you know,
like PlayStations, like not PlayStation the game in thing, but
like stations would play like other magna tiles with some
toy animals or you know, like to have some set
up for them to go and engage with if they
wanted to. But I think it's having those open ended
things and then it's crazy what they'll come up with.
(25:02):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Do you think you're a bit I sort of feel
that at least in terms of your environment where you
can send your kids down the road on their bikes
or whatever. That I mean that is that is a
lucky situation for you to be in, because I do
think in the biggest in some of the biggest cities,
especially with some of the headlines we've had around here
with random attacks on kids for wearing the wrong color
(25:23):
in the McDonald's and stuff.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Do you think that's what's your thought? What are your
thoughts on there? Any reflection?
Speaker 8 (25:30):
Yep, I think I feel safe been in a small
town because I mean, it's not that small it's carves
them in the whited Uckers. We've got ten thousand people
that live here, but you know, on every street they
would know someone. So if something that wrong, they had
gone knock on a door, or I know that there's
going to be a mum driving down the road that
if they saw one of them had fallen over, they
can go and help them. The other thing I've done, though,
(25:50):
is I've got three or four really good friends who
kind of parent in the same way that I appearent,
and so they're all down for letting our kids free range.
And so having those safe people who our kids can
explore with is It's nice and it kind of enables it.
I'm sure it would be different if we lived in
well right, No, No.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I wasn't trying to put any block up to it.
It's just interesting reflecting that, you know, like my child
had been in Rodua.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
You know, it was pretty out neck of the woods.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I mean everyone knew everyone's business, yeah, for good or
bad reasons. I guess how old are your kids now?
Speaker 8 (26:26):
Four, six, eight and ten?
Speaker 5 (26:27):
Oh criky, okay, you've got a hand for good.
Speaker 8 (26:30):
It's such a nice age. Honestly, I love this point
they all still want to be with me and hang
out with me and be my friend, and they don't
need me twenty four seven. So I'm like, I feel
like I'm in a sweet spot.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Well, no, I reckon, and I'll bring Googlan, who's standing
in the corner they're feeling ignored. I actually reckon. See
like at the moment, you know, it's just talking. This
is just a digression. Really the age four, six, eight,
and ten, which is a lovely age.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
But my kids are.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Thirteen and fifteen now, and while they are a little
bit more feisty, I also think it's a phenomenal age.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I don't know, was there.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Ever a bad age for you Google as the slightly
more experienced, you know, my kids are out the doorno.
Speaker 6 (27:08):
I can definitely remember the time when our younger got
old enough that she didn't need me, sort of twenty
four to seven or one of us twenty four seven,
and she could just play independently. I went, oh my gosh,
I've got time to breathe. And I think it was
probably about four or five maybe maybe, And it was
just that nice little zone where they still are. As
(27:30):
Lou said, you know that they still around, They still
want to be around you, but they're independent enough to
do their own thing. They're not reliant on you for everything.
And it's a very nice sweet spot.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
And you know, if you.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Sew that seed, well, it'll come back tenfold. I'm sure
when they're adults and they want to be back around
with you.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Again, did you ever have a moment Do you ever
ever have a moment doogle where your kids are?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Like, do I have to spend time with you dad?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yes, quite frequently, And that's still in case.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
I'm sure you know, but it's nice knowing them sort
of as young adults now too, it's sort of it's yeah,
but again, if you do the hard work now when
they're when they're this sage, you'll get that lifetime of reward.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I reckon fantastic. He hate lou, Thanks for your call,
love it so welcome, Take care bye bye.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Is that nice to hear such a fresh sort of
energetic just you know, you know, I've mentioned this a
few times, but I quote a friend of mine who
was original.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
I mean, of course he's my builder, But you know,
there's this thing with parenting.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
There was at one stage you know people, Oh, I
can't wait to the kids leave home, then we can
do X one and zyet And he said to me,
the day my girls leave home is going to be
the worst day of our lives. We love them, they
are awesome human beings, and I love that view of parenting.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, as opposed to what an inconvenience?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yes, yes, that's yeah.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
I love there are obviously there are tiring aspects of
having kids, but the more you can enjoy them and
and just you know, just be with them and just
hang out, I think they're better without any sort of
preconditions and without any rules and regulations just hang There's
a lot, there's reasons, amount of research saying that just
hanging out with your kid for thirty minutes a day
is really great for your relationship.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
And that's that's where there's no kind of rules.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
There are rules obviously, but it's not like you were
telling them to do something.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
It's just you're just hanging out doing stuff together.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
It's really good for a parent child relationship and something
maybe that we get too busy to do sometimes, but
it's brilliant.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's actually why when it's
you know, when it's time to go to bed, and stuff.
The kids always know that I'm going to go and
come and sit next to them on the bed and
just have a chat about stuff for a while. And
it's it's funny one of those things that after you
you've done it for a few years about God, I'm
in a few years time, I'm going to really miss this.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Anyway, Hey, look we'll be back in a moment. We're
just going to take a quick break. We were talking
about boredom, and we still are, I think, but you know,
we're talking about keeping your kids, I don't know, engaged
or whatever or not engaged.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Do you worry about it during the holidays. We just
need and let them have a bit of space. But
you can pick up on the the comments that have
been made, and we've got some texts. Will come back
and within just a moment, we're with Google Southern and
he's a principal a principle, he's principal psychologist at Umbrella.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
While being we'll be back in just to tech news
Talk said b Yes, News Talk said be.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
We're with Dole Sutherland talking about talking about getting bored Actually,
our last caller, Lou has set off a chain of
texts to dogle with people, you know, basically picking up
on that theme of I love our kids being bored.
It's almost like the goal. It's almost like being bored,
but having so many cool things they can choose to do,
and being bored is time to decide what you actually
feel like doing. That's I don't know, that's been quite
(30:46):
revelatory for me.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I think Lou too.
Speaker 6 (30:49):
She sort of slipped in there some things that she
did that I think are quite clever as well. You know,
she said she's set up little stations for the kids, yeah,
to play it or PlayStations, but not the PlayStation.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Which is that?
Speaker 6 (31:02):
So she's actually doing quite a bit of thinking and
planning a head I read and isn't she and so?
Speaker 3 (31:07):
And which is great. Well, that's fantastic, But she's probably
not doing herself quite due credit.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
I reckon she's she's actually being a little more active
in there than she might give herself credit for, which
is I think it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I think it's really good.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah, I think Lou. Also, I'm guessing she's kind of
the cool mum.
Speaker 5 (31:24):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, people better be to her kids,
be like your mum's so cool.
Speaker 6 (31:32):
She gave such a nice description of the neighborhood that
she lives in, though didn't she in terms of you know,
there's people on every street and you know that somebody
driving down they'd.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
See their kids. So there's some safety sort.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
Of barriers, some bumpers in place. But she's allowing the
kids to go out and just experience things and do
stuff knowing that there is this circle of security around them.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
It's interesting because I'm trying to think of those things
for our girls as well, because I think that in
even in the big cities, that you can find parts
or areas of your community where.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
They are safer. But it's just trying to work that out.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
So for instance, you know, I live in an area
and I live on in the Eastern Bays, and I
was chatting with my wife about this, and I'm not
going to give too much away, but it's about, you know,
where the girls can go. And I sort of said, well,
you know, if she's going to go down to Tamiki
Drive and go for a walk along there with her friends,
every man in his every man, every man and woman
and their dogs, are there, it is there would be
(32:32):
a community of people there. I think he would look
after you know what I mean. And I don't know
w if I'm being overly optimistic, but I think that
that's safe, safe as houses, whereas going down some of
the back streets of some of the other you know
parts be like maybe not.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Yeah, when our kids were growing up in this house
we were in there were the main house anyway for
most of their lives. We were probably.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
About three or four blocks away from their school and
from love shops and from some friends. And they you know,
when knew when you kind of where they were, and
if they were all going down.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
The shops, that was kind of cool. When they just
go down to the supermarket buy lollies or whatever they did.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
So there was that sort of zone of kind of yeah,
this is kind of cool and safe and where it's
all good and we don't mind them wandering around there
too much. And as Lou kind of said, you know,
there would be somebody around that would know some of
them any if there was any trouble, So there was
still sort of you know, eyes on them at all
(33:32):
well not at all times, but there were some safety
barriers around them.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Yeah, And that is probably one of the big things
for parents to work out because ultimately, I mean it's
that sliding. We might have to do this on another
hour actually, but it's that sliding. You know, there's a
sliding point of independence and trying to navigate that and
work it out because when they're eighteen, guess what, they
can leave home and get a flat and if it's
(33:56):
working out those stages where.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Yeah, I agree, yes, yeah, yep, yep. And look I
think that there's trust involved there too, right, Sometimes they're
going to blow it and get it wrong, but and
there'll be a consequence for that, and then they get
the opportunity to try it again after that consequence.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
But no, I agree with you that just finding their
own independence is great.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Plus you can track them on their garment as well.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
They've always got from you always know where.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
They are really Actually, Ray and Sparky I'm not sure
if where and Sparky one or two different people, but
has said what a ripper of a show. Tim and
Dougal we used to play next door at the Moira.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
M O E r A. Was it mori? Is he
split it wrong? Railway workshops? That sounds kind of dangerous?
Does he mean heart doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (34:46):
Anyway, Yeah, but yes it does yeah, yeah, but it
does sound kind of dangerous.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
But you know they're alive, I presume, and got all
their living intact. Yeah, but yeah, it's we Yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:59):
No, I can remember playing, as I said before, we
used to go down to the to the to the
town belt at the end of our street play war
in the bush and which was just running around madly
being stupid with guns really and not real guns.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
But you know, that was just that was just fun.
Speaker 6 (35:17):
And I don't know if I'd let my kids do
that now, but there it was.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
There was nobody around, and it was good. That was
good for fun.
Speaker 5 (35:24):
I used to play guns all the time. I mean,
isn't it funny? I'm not sure it is it not
politically correct to have guns that go bang these days?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I know, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (35:33):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's it's I think it's
less common. I think it's less common. We need some
we need some input from the from the texting audience
to say is it common for children?
Speaker 5 (35:43):
Well, there's another one these topics up. What are the
games you play?
Speaker 4 (35:48):
Well, you know, we used to play with cap guns
when we were kids, you know, and you weren't and
you weren't you hadn't been shot.
Speaker 6 (35:56):
If it didn't go off, which it only went off
about every fifty you'd have to get the roll.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Did you have a roll of caps and get under the.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
Yeah, the whole thing, you know.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Yeah, yeah, it was great when it worked for in
my memory.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Somebody has also pointed out that, you know, the challenge
for parents these days is, you know, we all grew
up with the backyard.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
I mean we had we had a half acre section.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
We could literally play rugby in our backyard.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yeah okay, yeah, yeah we did too well.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
I don't know we had a quarter acre, but we
had a we had a backyard and we could kick
a ball.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
And you know, throw a credit ball around and all
that kind of thing. And if you're if you're living
in you know, if you're not living in that area,
that that.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Is harder to very fond memories of punting a rugby
ball my brother took, taking a placekick over the washing
line and shoving it straight through mum's bedroom window.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
It wasn't open at the time.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
It's anyway, Hey, look, I can't believe we've got to
go because we've got.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
To talk sport. There we go well, well barely scratched
the tip of the iceberg there with the we.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Have to come back.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
We'll have to get you back Google, I think shall
we get Google back? Yep, tyros Seals will get you back.
We'd love to. Actually, I think we should probably get
our caller Lou back as well. Give her a slot
on the Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yeah, yeah, she was very good.
Speaker 5 (37:20):
Great to see.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Take care.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
We'll be wrapping sport and thank you for all your texts.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
By the way, I'm sorry I didn't actually get onto
all of them because we filled them up with conversation,
but that's how it works on talk radio, but I
do appreciate you taking the time to send those messages through.
We'll be back to wrap sport with Christopher Reeve, who's
with us in just a moment.
Speaker 5 (37:39):
News Talks.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
He'd be for more from the weekend collective. Listen live
to news Talks he'd be weekends from three pm, or
follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks
at b Texas.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Second tell by the way he's to stamping rounroom.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
And judging by.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The smile tree all his face, there's nothing I can do.
It doesn't take a Christal bar to see a cowboy
always bounds away drinking jackob By myself. He's choosing Texas
(00:41):
icond test.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Well.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I guess he forgot about the smoky Mountain rain. The
bull hangings them.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yes, So welcome back to the Weekend Collective Upton Beverage.
This is the Parents Squad where obviously you know what
we talk about all things parenting, not all things at once,
of course, but of course at school holidays, you know,
the boredom can be settling in and so look, I
think it's a challenge that often sends parents into a
bit of a spiral, you know, hearing of their children
complain about how bored they are all day long, and
(01:25):
you know, what do you what do you actually have
to do to keep your kids occupied? But how I
guess the question around it is, I mean, I get
the sense I don't know about you as a parent,
but I think a little bit of a little bit
of boredom sometimes goes a long way. It's not something
I also, I'll be honest, I don't remember it particularly
(01:49):
being much of an issue when I was a kid,
because I don't know, do we have better ways of
amusing ourselves or I'm not sure. I don't know what
it is, but it seems that there is more anxiety
I think a lot of the time, and this need
to keep your kids busy. I would imagine that some
of that is also driven by the fact that you know,
parents are working. Of course they don't get to take
(02:10):
time off, and you want to know that your kids
are not just sitting at home on their devices, et cetera.
So what's your what's your approach to boredom and your
kids in activity? Is a bit of boredom a good thing?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty text nine to nine two
and joining me to discuss it? He is well, he's
a regular on the show. Now it's Google Sutherland, principal
psychologist at Umbrella Well Being.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Can I google? How are you going?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Got a tim? I'm well made?
Speaker 5 (02:40):
How are you not too bad? Did you you're a
boredom warrior? Do you ever worry about the old, you know,
whether you've.
Speaker 6 (02:47):
Got no No, I do worry. When our kids was younger,
I did worry picking up on what you said before
about them being on their devices all the time and
how that might be the substitute for boredom. Nowadays, I
think boredom is a good thing. Actually, I think it's
nice to have a bit of nice to have.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
A at of boredom.
Speaker 6 (03:06):
I think it's good gets kids creative, gets them thinking,
gets them active.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Has boredom the new PlayStation?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Imagine if you can market it like PlayStation.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Imagine that we are going to bore your kids senseless
with our fantastic product. It's called a book, mind you.
Actually books are not boring there anything, But.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's not boring at all, is it.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
That's funny I've been I'm not a child, obviously, but
with our kids having left home more recently, I've found
myself occasionally getting a bit bored and going, oh, okay,
what I've.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Just got time on my hands? Well, what should I do?
And that's that's It's not a bad thing, I don't think.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
I think that's actually a really interesting bit of honesty
from you. Not because I'm surprised that you're honest, because
I would assume you're honest all the time to so
it sounds like a backhanded insight, didn't it.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
I know what you mean.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I've you know, we all have our habits of how
we fill our time, and for some people it's hitting
the button on Netflix. I've got nothing to do, click way,
I mean, because goodness me, it's not like the old
days of TV one, two and three, which I can
remember where.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
But I it's because I'll be honest as well. I
you know, I've always had my.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Series, which I will tune in for it too from
time to time. And then I suddenly looked at it
and I thought. I didn't say this consciously, but I went,
I'm sick of TV.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I've got to start.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And I started reading, and the stumbling block happens is
now I would get to a stage where I'm like, oh, good,
I get to pick up my book because I've been
lucky that I've read a couple of really interesting books,
and you know, I'm a bit of a piecemeal reader,
so I'm always going back and recapping and anyway, then
I finished a couple of really good books and I
(04:55):
was like, I don't know what to read. Next I
came across the same block.
Speaker 7 (05:01):
Yeah, it's good, though, I think it's a good tr
I'm definitely trying to resist that temptation just to go
on the screen and turn on you know, you're streaming platform,
what you've chosen one of those, because I don't know,
I just have a I have an aversion to watching
TV when I'm during the day pretty most of the time.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
I think it's a hang of it from childhood when
you're never allowed to watch team work. There wasn't much
on but you know, but but you were allowed, we
were allowed anyway during the day, and I just still.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Have an aversion to it. It's like, no, no, we
should have the TV.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
We should be reading or outside or doing something or
cooking or I don't know, taking the dogs for a walk.
So I think it's good to help them find stuff
to do, because.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I mean, the obvious question is I mean, we all
have an instant gut reaction. I wonder if there's anyone
here who's listened, anyone who's listening right now that won't
have an instant response which is exactly the same as
mine and yours to this question. Do kids need to
learn to be bored. Of course they do.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
But I I mean, that's just an easy ahead of
a question, isn't it. But of course, I mean I
don't think it's.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Actually the funny thing is I'm trying to I'm going
to struggle away around this one. But I don't think
we want kids to be bored. No, we need them
to get to that state where they have to find
something to do.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Imagine a kid literally sitting on the couch, not knowing
what to do, not really thinking about life, just staring
at the wall. That's not what we want to learn
them to cope with.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
No, No, no, I agree, I agree. You want them
to get to them.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Oh we've just lost you. We've just lost Google. Hang
on a second, No, you're back.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I left. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
No, you want them to get to the stage where
they're just you know, they're just doing I'll do this,
or I'll try that, or how about this.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But our nemesis, our nemesis comes back, does not social
media or the intern will return.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Actually, what we might do Google, I might get you
to turn your camera off because we're just getting a
little bit of buffering there with your audio so much
as I love to see your smiling face. And I'll
do the same thing as well, because we're just sorry,
we're just having a little bit of buffering. And I
must say, I confess I'm suspicious that cyclones are to
blame because it does seem that it's getting a bit grayer. Sorry,
(07:30):
go back to what you were saying about that you
know that headspace between boredom and filling it?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Yeah, I just picking up what you said really around
you know that space where kids then have to find
they find something to do and engage with something, they
trott something you.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Yeah, and we've still got some buffering issues there. Actually,
we are just losing you a bit. I might just well,
we'll see how we go with that. It might just
be a temporary buffering problem at the moment. But we'd
love your calls on this as well. Do kids need
to learn to be bored? Look, that's the cheap, easy
(08:08):
access question for it. But what is I mean, what
do you remember when you were a child of being bored?
And is it more about you need to just create
the space where your imagination can.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Start to activate a little bit. I just check if
Google's still there, actually we still get your Google.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I'm still here. I'm getting you loud and clear.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
But I know that's all right. It might have just
been it might have just been a brief blit. Okay,
psychological yes, what about the busy kids? Is there a
danger in just trying to keep your kids busy all
the time?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
It depends whose busyness it is, I reckon, is it
the parents business or is it the kid's business?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
You know, often parents are always trying to get their
kids into things and I've got this, they've got that,
and let's do them. Those will get them ahead if
they have extra this and extra that. But if kids
are really into it, and they're leaving full lives that
they want to lead and that are useful for them,
then I think that's good. But some times I think
it can be but two parent leads sometimes.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Well.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
The other thing that's cropped into my mind as part
of the conversation was that often busy kids it doesn't
stop them being bored. The fact that you've got them
doing truckloads of things. I can imagine there be times
when children are at all this event or that event,
but if they're not engaged with it, they're probably just
as bored as if they were sitting on the sofa.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
Yeah, that's very true. You can be doing something but
actually quite mentally bored. Really can't you if you're not
really engaged in it. I can remember doing tennis lessons
when I was when I was young, and I was
pretty horrible and terrible at it, and I just spent
a lot of time just being deadly bored that I
was there. But Mum said, no, no, you have to start.
You've started. You have to see through the term.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
It's like make this. So that wasn't all that. I
was pretty bored then, and I wasn't really good at
tennis either.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
I got to say, I'm just getting this image of
like Google, it's your turn and you walk into the corner.
Oh god, do I have to serve?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Did it? I'm out? Yeah? No, I didn't love it.
Love most sports, but never really got tennis. I'm afraid
get that. Couldn't get the top spin on it.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Oh well, okay, well that's slightly fatal to a tennis career.
It was Hey, what about I mean, do you think
what do you striking the space of boredom with kids?
I mean, is there any shoe around just kids not
allowing themselves to just have a bit more space. Again,
I'm almost bored with the word boredom, but yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I think there's less of it
now because the defaulters pick up your device, will get
on a screen, and I think that sort of substitutes
perhaps I think it's a band aid. It glosses over
what might be boredom otherwise, but it doesn't necessarily mean
you're using your time wisely. If you're on a screen,
it just means you And I think we have lost
(10:54):
the art of just kind of doing nothing. We immediately
go to our phones or our screens or whatever, and
it's nice just to not do some something like that sometimes.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I think.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I actually, I think that's where we went when I
was thinking about the topic for today's discussion around boredom,
because it's such an easy you know, yeah, it's such
an easy sort of theme to we know what we're
talking about. But it really is about the art of
doing nothing, isn't it?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Or very little.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and seeing what happens. I think,
right as you say, you don't want considering there staring
at the walls, but the idea is getting bored, so that.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Then something comes. Then something you get challenged to do
something new.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
You have an idea, you think, I'll try that, and
lots of good things come from that. I think there's
a reasonable amount of psychology literature saying boredom is quite
good for creativity because people get bored and then they
start thinking and having ideas which they may not have otherwise.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Well, that's about I mean that. I think there is
something even just in terms of the way the brain
functions that I mean, if you're always keeping it's a
bit like a parking space, if you're always shoving a car.
If there's always a car in the space, there's no
vacuum for something, you know, something else to get in there.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
That's a terrible analogy, you know what I mean. You
can come up with a better one than can't you.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Yeah, you've got too many apps open on your phone,
and actually your hard drive just needs to defragment for
a while, and you've got.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You're buffering, there's buffering. There's too much buffering going on.
You just need to stop and allow yourself just to
be for a little while.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
I think it's I think it's great and we should
encourage our kids to do it, take everything off them,
put them and put them outside.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
What about.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
See, see, I've always look our kids. My daughters love reading,
and I have to give a credit. I'm going to
give one hundred percent of the credit to my wife,
who you know, just introduce made sure that they always
had a great supply of books. You know, it's one
of the holiday activities. We're going to go shopping for books,
(12:51):
you know, and they're latest. And look, that's that's on
her because she, I mean, she's a teacher and everything.
But I mean not all teachers are going to shove
that down their kids. You know, I don't mean shoving
down their throats, but you know what I mean, give
them the opportunity for it to be a really rich
part of their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, it's good because.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
When I think, I'm trying to think about, you know,
the idea of if my girls didn't have a book
that they were looking at. Because they do keep themselves
busy with something. I'm not sure how much time they
spend well, actually they're teenagers to probably spend plenty of
time just lying on their beds thinking and I think
as long as their phones out.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
There listening to music, times changed. That't though.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I can remember my brother getting told off for reading
too much when we were just put that book.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Down, get outside. Will you get some fresh air?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Actually, that's quite funny. I'm sure there are parents who
do that now, wouldn't they.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Be Probably well, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I mean, if you want them to get some exercise,
if their glued to a book and you're like, god,
the sun is shining, when you just put that book
down and get outside. I mean, I think I can
almost hear myself saying it.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
We can never quite be satisfied as appearance can. We
never quite a hard work. There are too much on screen,
they're too much, that's reading books too much.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
They're out too much. So they've got too many friends,
they haven't got enough friends. Sometimes, Yeah, we do make
it hard for them and ourselves.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I think at time.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I love this quote here. Somebody sent me Crist's sender
text saying, my dad told me about sixty years ago,
make yourself the most interesting person you know, as that's
who you're going to be spending most of your time with,
which is nice.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
It's kind of cute, but also, yeah, I have a
couple of reflections and that I can't sum up how
I'm thinking about that.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I mean, it's a very philosophical time the evening for you,
this evening is that it isn't it?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well?
Speaker 5 (14:33):
What I mean is.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What I mean is it says you're that's the person
you're going to spend the most of your time with.
There's a part of me that thinks that that's a
prediction of loneliness as well. But I don't think it's
meant that way, is it?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Yeah? Yeah, no, No, I think there's some truth in that.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
You do spend you better get to know yourself and
kind of like yourself, you know, reasonably because you do that.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
And so if you're not, you know, if you're not
comfortable at least with most of yourself, then that's a
cool place to be. So I think it's wise advice
from from from that text.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, okay, we're going to take a quick moment. I
guess the thing is for you parents out there, how
do you cope with kids when they're like you've got
nothing to do? What is the solution you give them?
Do you just leave them for their own devices and
wait for them to fill in the gaps or do
you have a few go to suggestions, like we'll just
get outside in the garden.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Just something that resonates with me as well.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty text nine nine two Google, Sutherlands.
My guess we'll be back in just a ticket's twenty
two past five. Yes, News Talks be this is the
parents Squad. We're with Google Sutherland. Well where we we
sort of with Google because we're sort of not with
Google because I'm convinced that there is a little bit
of atmospheric disturbance going on and we've got oh, we
have got them back Google.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Are you there here?
Speaker 6 (15:52):
I am on back and blazing on all cylinders.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Oh oh oho, Okay, Well, I'm just going to step
out and we'll leave the audience with you. You can
just take over. I've also there's an observation I want
to make that I was just having a chat with
my producer Tyra, who won't mind me relaying the basic
the gist of the conversation, and I think it is
(16:18):
I think it's a it is harder for our kids
these days.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Because she was.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Talking about how, you know, she was part of a
generation where you'd go out on your bikes and I
love this instruction from her. Mum was been like, come
back when the street lights come on, because that's when
it's dinner. And we don't really let our kids do
that these days so much do we?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
We don't know.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
I think a lot perhaps, and you know, less built
up areas and maybe provincial areas, there's still a lot
of that goes on, but certainly big cities. I don't
think people do that hardly any more. I can remember
going to stay with a friend on the farm out
in Dunedin, just out on the tyrie, and we would
do that. We'd take off on our bikes and we'd
(17:01):
say we'll see you tonight and off we go, sit
around the tiree planes and going to all sorts of things,
but nothing bad, but just good fun.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
It was just good, you know, we were young teenagers.
It was good fun.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah, because well, same thing.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I grew up in right Aua and when I was
I'm sure when I was seven or eight, i'd just
tell Mum, I'm going along to some best mate Kevin,
you know, jump on the bike or just walk along.
Whereas maybe it's not so much a time thing as much,
but bigger cities. I mean, there are plenty of headlines
of kids getting you know, assaulted out of the blue
(17:36):
on trains and stuff like that. We're just we are
a more worried generation appearance, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I think.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
Look, it's a busier place to you know, wandering around
Central Auckland all the suburbs.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
You know, it's not it's a busy place. There's lots
going on. It's quite different.
Speaker 6 (17:52):
Even when when I was young and growing up in
the need and you know, we'd go down to the
park at the bottom of our street and go into
the bush and play war in the town for hours
and hours, but there was really nobody around. And I
think the busyness of life has changed that a lot.
I had an answer to your check to your question
before the break too, you know, about what do you
(18:13):
say to your kids when they're bored? And I can
remember my daughter particularly would say this, and I would say, look,
I can I'm going to suggest three things, but I'm
only going to make suggestions if.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
You don't poop poo them immediately.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
So and so we got into this routine where she
would say, Dad, I'm bored. Can you think of three
things for me, and so I would and I avoided
saying things like you could.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Do the dishes, you can work in the floor, you.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Know, because those are obvious parent things to say, so
I avoided those, and I would try and I would
come up with something like, you know, you could read
your book, you could do da da. And it's not
necessarily that she would pick up one of the things
that I said, but she would often cause her to
think about something related and go, oh, I've got to
thank you, and if you go and do something.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
So it was it was quite good.
Speaker 6 (18:58):
But there was an agreement that I wouldn't suggest done
things and she wouldn't immediately just poopoo them just because
it was your dad said.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Seeing them, and it did work quite well for her.
Speaker 5 (19:07):
I can remember what what do you remember particular suggestions
that were you know, yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
Well I just thought about what the things that she'd
been doing over the last week, you know, maybe she'd
been you know, and this is when she was at
primary school, so maybe she'd been playing, I don't know,
with a particular set of toys or something.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
And it was never screens. I never suggested screens. I
mean I think I would often.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Say you could read a book, or you could go
and do such and such, or have you thought about
playing with dah dah? And usually that was enough for
her to Again, she didn't necessarily take up the suggestions,
but it just got her thinking and it was a
catalyst to her going and doing something.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And nine times out of ten it worked.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
And yeah, well that parents having a bit of imagination too.
There'd be some of parents would be like, oh, I
can't think of three things myself.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
That's true. Look, it was a bit of a struggle
at times. It was like you could do the now,
and you know, there was a temptation.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
You could come up for a title for my thesis
is Google?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What about that? Yeah? No, she should Strangely, that didn't
really resonate for her.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
That would be great fun if I came up, If
I if I said to my girls, because I've been
thinking about writing a play on something which I'll keep
to myself, and I would probably say, you need to
come up for a title for my play.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Nice, it's very good. One, that's very good.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
It's a little teaser when I finally get around to
right in the thing. Right, let's take some calls lou Hello.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
Hi, how are you good thing?
Speaker 5 (20:39):
So how you don't good?
Speaker 6 (20:41):
Thank you?
Speaker 8 (20:41):
I just wanted to call and say I love it
with my kids are board. It's like one of my
favorite things for them to come and tell me and
they say, I'm bored mum, and I just say, that's
so cool. You can now do whatever you want, Like
what a cool place to get yourself in a position
that you can now figure out what you want to
do and go and do it. Like that's a cool
feeling to have.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
That sounds so appealing.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
I actually my producer was scowling, but she's actually scowling approval.
She's going she sounds like such a cool mum.
Speaker 8 (21:09):
No, I thank you.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
But actually it's like Zen, you're saying boredom is zen?
Speaker 8 (21:15):
It is because imagine as an adult, like if we
got to feel bored more often, Like we are so
into being so hyper productive and we have to be
doing stuff all the time, but that feeling of being
bored and being able to really figure out what does
you feel like doing next?
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Oh God, you're making me want to be bored.
Speaker 8 (21:32):
I want to be bored as well.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Doogle.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Yeah, No, I think it's it's great and I love that.
Speaker 6 (21:37):
I love the spin the reframe on that, moving it
from oh my god, I'm bored to ah, excellent, I'm bored.
Now what an opportunity that presents me with I think
that's a really nice spin on it.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Yeah, I also wants it's Lou. By the way, just
in case you didn't catch a name Google, I actually
want to say it's it's easy to sort of think, oh,
you know, that's just a quirky take on it, but
I think that actually loves onto something that with that
isn't it? It's that you've you've got yourself in a
state where you can make a choice to do whatever.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You want.
Speaker 8 (22:12):
One thing, and you can then move on to your
next thing. Like that's a really cool position and you
don't have it to do list right, Yeah, there's no
one's got expectations of you. So now'll figure out what
do you want to do? You want to read a book?
Do you want to go outside and play in the sandpit?
Do you want to go down the road and see
your mate?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Forget that out, good shivers.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I'm going to have to bottle this little bit of
advice up and to my kids. Does that always work
for you though, Lou? Because I can here's me being
a kid. I'll pretend. You have to pretend that your mum.
I know that's going to feel weird, and it's like, oh,
just let's say we're friends, Lou, I'm bored.
Speaker 8 (22:47):
That's so cool. Do you know what you might want
to do next? There's so many things you could go outside,
you could do whatever you want to do.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I knew you'd say that, but I can't think of
a single thing.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
Well, I reckon if you go outside, Bud and come
back in five minutes to will have figured out what
you feel like doing.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
Good, call okay you when.
Speaker 8 (23:07):
Honestly and normally we're I don't know whether it just
annoys them that I like kind of don't care that
they're bought, you know, like it doesn't phase me. They're
not going to come and get a reaction from me,
but they just don't really come and say it. But
I'm also lucky. I've got four children. We live on
a reasonable size section, like in a semi rural town.
I let my kids walk down the road to friends
houses they had to sleep over. Last night, two of
(23:29):
my boys and they walked downtown and picked up pizza
and then they ate it at the local school. Like
that was another thing I wanted to mention. I've read
this amazing book called The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Hate,
which is a life changing book, and it's just about
what you were talking about, like really living our kids
go out and do things, and trust in our kids
that they can do that and they can judge the
risk involved and leaving them practice.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Guess guess who we're trying to get on our show.
Speaker 8 (23:55):
Oh are you?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Oh my gosh, we have got we haven't got them yet,
but nothing will beat having Google a Google right.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Now, I'm over here just.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
By the way, lou When did you come up with
this way of approaching it, because I mean, I don't
want to overdo it, but I do think that's a
really cool way of handling it.
Speaker 8 (24:20):
I think it was probably pretty early on. I had
four kids within five years, so I just didn't actually
have the capacity to be able to redirect my kids
or give them you know what I mean. Like I've
never been able to pander to that. They've always had
to kind of figure it out themselves, and so I
think that that has helped that your board, But like,
and also we always have books We've got like there's
(24:41):
so much in the backyard. There's football's like, it's not
like there isn't stuff to do at all. And I
when when they were younger, I'd set up you know,
like PlayStations, like not PlayStation the game in thing, but
like stations would play like other magna tiles with some
toy animals or you know, like to have some set
up for them to go and engage with if they
wanted to. But I think it's having those open ended
things and then it's crazy what they'll come up with.
(25:02):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Do you think you're a bit I sort of feel
that at least in terms of your environment where you
can send your kids down the road on their bikes
or whatever. That I mean that is that is a
lucky situation for you to be in, because I do
think in the biggest in some of the biggest cities,
especially with some of the headlines we've had around here
with random attacks on kids for wearing the wrong color
(25:23):
in the McDonald's and stuff.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Do you think that's what's your thought? What are your
thoughts on there? Any reflection?
Speaker 8 (25:30):
Yep, I think I feel safe been in a small
town because I mean, it's not that small it's carves
them in the whited Uckers. We've got ten thousand people
that live here, but you know, on every street they
would know someone. So if something that wrong, they had
gone knock on a door, or I know that there's
going to be a mum driving down the road that
if they saw one of them had fallen over, they
can go and help them. The other thing I've done, though,
(25:50):
is I've got three or four really good friends who
kind of parent in the same way that I appearent,
and so they're all down for letting our kids free range.
And so having those safe people who our kids can
explore with is It's nice and it kind of enables it.
I'm sure it would be different if we lived in
well right, No, No.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I wasn't trying to put any block up to it.
It's just interesting reflecting that, you know, like my child
had been in Rodua.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
You know, it was pretty out neck of the woods.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I mean everyone knew everyone's business, yeah, for good or
bad reasons. I guess how old are your kids now?
Speaker 8 (26:26):
Four, six, eight and ten?
Speaker 5 (26:27):
Oh criky, okay, you've got a hand for good.
Speaker 8 (26:30):
It's such a nice age. Honestly, I love this point
they all still want to be with me and hang
out with me and be my friend, and they don't
need me twenty four seven. So I'm like, I feel
like I'm in a sweet spot.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Well, no, I reckon, and I'll bring Googlan, who's standing
in the corner they're feeling ignored. I actually reckon. See
like at the moment, you know, it's just talking. This
is just a digression. Really the age four, six, eight,
and ten, which is a lovely age.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
But my kids are.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Thirteen and fifteen now, and while they are a little
bit more feisty, I also think it's a phenomenal age.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I don't know, was there.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Ever a bad age for you Google as the slightly
more experienced, you know, my kids are out the doorno.
Speaker 6 (27:08):
I can definitely remember the time when our younger got
old enough that she didn't need me, sort of twenty
four to seven or one of us twenty four seven,
and she could just play independently. I went, oh my gosh,
I've got time to breathe. And I think it was
probably about four or five maybe maybe, And it was
just that nice little zone where they still are. As
(27:30):
Lou said, you know that they still around, They still
want to be around you, but they're independent enough to
do their own thing. They're not reliant on you for everything.
And it's a very nice sweet spot.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
And you know, if you.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Sew that seed, well, it'll come back tenfold. I'm sure
when they're adults and they want to be back around
with you.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Again, did you ever have a moment Do you ever
ever have a moment doogle where your kids are?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Like, do I have to spend time with you dad?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yes, quite frequently, And that's still in case.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
I'm sure you know, but it's nice knowing them sort
of as young adults now too, it's sort of it's yeah,
but again, if you do the hard work now when
they're when they're this sage, you'll get that lifetime of reward.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I reckon fantastic. He hate lou, Thanks for your call,
love it so welcome, Take care bye bye.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Is that nice to hear such a fresh sort of
energetic just you know, you know, I've mentioned this a
few times, but I quote a friend of mine who
was original.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
I mean, of course he's my builder, But you know,
there's this thing with parenting.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
There was at one stage you know people, Oh, I
can't wait to the kids leave home, then we can
do X one and zyet And he said to me,
the day my girls leave home is going to be
the worst day of our lives. We love them, they
are awesome human beings, and I love that view of parenting.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, as opposed to what an inconvenience?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yes, yes, that's yeah.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
I love there are obviously there are tiring aspects of
having kids, but the more you can enjoy them and
and just you know, just be with them and just
hang out, I think they're better without any sort of
preconditions and without any rules and regulations just hang There's
a lot, there's reasons, amount of research saying that just
hanging out with your kid for thirty minutes a day
is really great for your relationship.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
And that's that's where there's no kind of rules.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
There are rules obviously, but it's not like you were
telling them to do something.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
It's just you're just hanging out doing stuff together.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
It's really good for a parent child relationship and something
maybe that we get too busy to do sometimes, but
it's brilliant.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's actually why when it's
you know, when it's time to go to bed, and stuff.
The kids always know that I'm going to go and
come and sit next to them on the bed and
just have a chat about stuff for a while. And
it's it's funny one of those things that after you
you've done it for a few years about God, I'm
in a few years time, I'm going to really miss this.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Anyway, Hey, look we'll be back in a moment. We're
just going to take a quick break. We were talking
about boredom, and we still are, I think, but you know,
we're talking about keeping your kids, I don't know, engaged
or whatever or not engaged.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Do you worry about it during the holidays. We just
need and let them have a bit of space. But
you can pick up on the the comments that have
been made, and we've got some texts. Will come back
and within just a moment, we're with Google Southern and
he's a principal a principle, he's principal psychologist at Umbrella.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
While being we'll be back in just to tech news
Talk said b Yes, News Talk said be.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
We're with Dole Sutherland talking about talking about getting bored Actually,
our last caller, Lou has set off a chain of
texts to dogle with people, you know, basically picking up
on that theme of I love our kids being bored.
It's almost like the goal. It's almost like being bored,
but having so many cool things they can choose to do,
and being bored is time to decide what you actually
feel like doing. That's I don't know, that's been quite
(30:46):
revelatory for me.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I think Lou too.
Speaker 6 (30:49):
She sort of slipped in there some things that she
did that I think are quite clever as well. You know,
she said she's set up little stations for the kids, yeah,
to play it or PlayStations, but not the PlayStation.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Which is that?
Speaker 6 (31:02):
So she's actually doing quite a bit of thinking and
planning a head I read and isn't she and so?
Speaker 3 (31:07):
And which is great. Well, that's fantastic, But she's probably
not doing herself quite due credit.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
I reckon she's she's actually being a little more active
in there than she might give herself credit for, which
is I think it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I think it's really good.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah, I think Lou. Also, I'm guessing she's kind of
the cool mum.
Speaker 5 (31:24):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, people better be to her kids,
be like your mum's so cool.
Speaker 6 (31:32):
She gave such a nice description of the neighborhood that
she lives in, though didn't she in terms of you know,
there's people on every street and you know that somebody
driving down they'd.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
See their kids. So there's some safety sort.
Speaker 6 (31:42):
Of barriers, some bumpers in place. But she's allowing the
kids to go out and just experience things and do
stuff knowing that there is this circle of security around them.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
It's interesting because I'm trying to think of those things
for our girls as well, because I think that in
even in the big cities, that you can find parts
or areas of your community where.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
They are safer. But it's just trying to work that out.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
So for instance, you know, I live in an area
and I live on in the Eastern Bays, and I
was chatting with my wife about this, and I'm not
going to give too much away, but it's about, you know,
where the girls can go. And I sort of said, well,
you know, if she's going to go down to Tamiki
Drive and go for a walk along there with her friends,
every man in his every man, every man and woman
and their dogs, are there, it is there would be
(32:32):
a community of people there. I think he would look
after you know what I mean. And I don't know
w if I'm being overly optimistic, but I think that
that's safe, safe as houses, whereas going down some of
the back streets of some of the other you know
parts be like maybe not.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Yeah, when our kids were growing up in this house
we were in there were the main house anyway for
most of their lives. We were probably.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
About three or four blocks away from their school and
from love shops and from some friends. And they you know,
when knew when you kind of where they were, and
if they were all going down.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
The shops, that was kind of cool. When they just
go down to the supermarket buy lollies or whatever they did.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
So there was that sort of zone of kind of yeah,
this is kind of cool and safe and where it's
all good and we don't mind them wandering around there
too much. And as Lou kind of said, you know,
there would be somebody around that would know some of
them any if there was any trouble, So there was
still sort of you know, eyes on them at all
(33:32):
well not at all times, but there were some safety
barriers around them.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Yeah, And that is probably one of the big things
for parents to work out because ultimately, I mean it's
that sliding. We might have to do this on another
hour actually, but it's that sliding. You know, there's a
sliding point of independence and trying to navigate that and
work it out because when they're eighteen, guess what, they
can leave home and get a flat and if it's
(33:56):
working out those stages where.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
Yeah, I agree, yes, yeah, yep, yep. And look I
think that there's trust involved there too, right, Sometimes they're
going to blow it and get it wrong, but and
there'll be a consequence for that, and then they get
the opportunity to try it again after that consequence.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
But no, I agree with you that just finding their
own independence is great.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Plus you can track them on their garment as well.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
They've always got from you always know where.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
They are really Actually, Ray and Sparky I'm not sure
if where and Sparky one or two different people, but
has said what a ripper of a show. Tim and
Dougal we used to play next door at the Moira.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
M O E r A. Was it mori? Is he
split it wrong? Railway workshops? That sounds kind of dangerous?
Does he mean heart doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (34:46):
Anyway, Yeah, but yes it does yeah, yeah, but it
does sound kind of dangerous.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
But you know they're alive, I presume, and got all
their living intact. Yeah, but yeah, it's we Yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:59):
No, I can remember playing, as I said before, we
used to go down to the to the to the
town belt at the end of our street play war
in the bush and which was just running around madly
being stupid with guns really and not real guns.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
But you know, that was just that was just fun.
Speaker 6 (35:17):
And I don't know if I'd let my kids do
that now, but there it was.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
There was nobody around, and it was good. That was
good for fun.
Speaker 5 (35:24):
I used to play guns all the time. I mean,
isn't it funny? I'm not sure it is it not
politically correct to have guns that go bang these days?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I know, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (35:33):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's it's I think it's
less common. I think it's less common. We need some
we need some input from the from the texting audience
to say is it common for children?
Speaker 5 (35:43):
Well, there's another one these topics up. What are the
games you play?
Speaker 4 (35:48):
Well, you know, we used to play with cap guns
when we were kids, you know, and you weren't and
you weren't you hadn't been shot.
Speaker 6 (35:56):
If it didn't go off, which it only went off
about every fifty you'd have to get the roll.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Did you have a roll of caps and get under the.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
Yeah, the whole thing, you know.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Yeah, yeah, it was great when it worked for in
my memory.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Somebody has also pointed out that, you know, the challenge
for parents these days is, you know, we all grew
up with the backyard.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
I mean we had we had a half acre section.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:25):
We could literally play rugby in our backyard.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yeah okay, yeah, yeah we did too well.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
I don't know we had a quarter acre, but we
had a we had a backyard and we could kick
a ball.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
And you know, throw a credit ball around and all
that kind of thing. And if you're if you're living
in you know, if you're not living in that area,
that that.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Is harder to very fond memories of punting a rugby
ball my brother took, taking a placekick over the washing
line and shoving it straight through mum's bedroom window.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
It wasn't open at the time.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
It's anyway, Hey, look, I can't believe we've got to
go because we've got.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
To talk sport. There we go well, well barely scratched
the tip of the iceberg there with the we.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Have to come back.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
We'll have to get you back Google, I think shall
we get Google back? Yep, tyros Seals will get you back.
We'd love to. Actually, I think we should probably get
our caller Lou back as well. Give her a slot
on the Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yeah, yeah, she was very good.
Speaker 5 (37:20):
Great to see.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Take care.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
We'll be wrapping sport and thank you for all your texts.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
By the way, I'm sorry I didn't actually get onto
all of them because we filled them up with conversation,
but that's how it works on talk radio, but I
do appreciate you taking the time to send those messages through.
We'll be back to wrap sport with Christopher Reeve, who's
with us in just a moment.
Speaker 5 (37:39):
News Talks.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
He'd be for more from the weekend collective. Listen live
to news Talks he'd be weekends from three pm, or
follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.
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