Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the Sunday Session podcast with Francesca Rudkin
from newstalksb Right Back.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
In twenty twenty four, mental health advocate Jazz Thornton began
to receive obsessive messages from a stranger overseas, Initially brushing
the messages off as harmless. Things went up a level
when the man flew to New Zealand and turned up
at her house. Friendick Calls to the police revealed to
Jazz stalking was not a criminal offense in New Zealand.
Jazz has been instrumental in campaigning for stalking to be criminalized,
(00:35):
and as a result, reforms to the Crimes Act come
into effect next month. Inspired by her own story and
those of others, Jazz has created a new documentary. It's
called Stalked. It's coming soon to sky and Jazz Thornton
joins me. Now, good morning, good morning. So in this documentary,
you and two other women, Tessa and Zenny, tell their
(00:59):
what I can only describe as horrific stories of being stalked.
Can we start with your story? How did it start? Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
My gosh, it was a really odd situation and like
I get a lot of messages all the time, so
I don't see most of my message requests. And it
was actually my housemate who takes all of my photos
for me, so she's always tagged, and my staff came
up to me and she was just like, Hey, this
is this guy who is messaging me saying that he
is obsessed with you and he wants to come to
New Zealand to meet you. And I was like okay,
(01:30):
and like I looked up as username and saw kind
of quite a big amount of messages that he had
been sending in.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Like two weeks, so it probably should.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Have been a flag at the time, but I was like, like,
that's fine, he's in the Netherlands, like whatever. And it
wasn't long after that she said, oh, he messaged me
he's booked a fly he's coming, and still I was like, oh,
it'll be okay, Like it's fine. And it was about
(01:59):
two weeks later that Yeah, he was at my house
and he was in the country.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Wasn't it interesting that he made the connection to your
friend and then started messaging her.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Yeah, because I wasn't replying. It was another kind of
desperation to try and get to me. And what I
found out a bit later on through the forensic psychologist
who got involved in my case. He works with the police,
and he was assessing this guy and his behavior, and.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All of that was that before this guy got to.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
The country, he would have already known everything about me,
including everything about everyone close to me that had been
a part of anything public I'd even done.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
So that escalated quite quickly, Oh, yes, very very quickly.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
It was literally I think he was in the country
for twenty four hours before he found my house, and
I thought it would be impossible to find. Like my
little naive brain was like, there's no way. Like he's
now sending these creepy messages that are like I've done
something really bad that involves you, and I can't promise
you not to do something with the information that I've gathered,
(03:07):
like real cryptic. And then he's yeah, he's turned up,
left a package at our house and then just sitting
outside looking at our windows.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
So how does that How does that make you feel?
And what are you thinking When you sort of, you know,
you realize that he was here and he'd left a
package outside your house.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
My heart sunk, and I genuinely don't think I.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Had felt fear like that before.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
The second that we pulled into the driveway and we
saw this paper bag sitting out the front and we
were like, it's like you just I just knew. But
then when we walked inside the house and we had
these big, like floor to ceiling windows that looked over
this beach, and we just saw this man sitting on
the beach looking up into our windows and it's it's him.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It's Peter. It was just yeah, it was it was shock, it.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Was fear, and it was uncertainty of like what do
you even do in this situation?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Like I still then was like do I call the police?
Do I not call the police? Like what do I do? Yeah,
And you talk about that quite a bit in the documentary.
You say, look, this is happening to me and you
feel very helpless. But at the same time, when you
sort of step back and look at it, you think
to yourself, oh, the police are just gonna look at
this and go they're just some messages, what you know,
Like you kind of you would totally rationalizing why you
(04:28):
shouldn't actually act on your gut instinct, which is this
is not right.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, I felt like I was being dramatic, and like
I remember messaging a friend of mine who's a cop
the night that I got those real creepy messages before
he came to my house, to be like should I like,
what do I do? I don't want to call anyone.
I don't want to like it feels dramatic, but also
like this is really cryptic and weird. And she was
the one that was like, you should at least make
like an online report. This is this is not okay,
(04:55):
And it was that kind of validation that actually, this
is kind of weird that at least enabled me to
eventually get the cops involved.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So when you did see him sitting outside and you're
you called the police, what action did they take and
what advice did they give you?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
So while we were on the phone to the police,
before they actually got to the house, we were literally
like army crawling around the house because they were like, okay,
go through, like pull down every blind, lock, every window, lock,
every door. But once the police arrived, he had gone.
And I often feel like I say that stalkers are
kind of like spiders. Finding them is really scary, but
(05:33):
losing them is worse. Because at least when he was
we could see and we knew that's where he was.
So the police at the time, when they got to
the house, they couldn't find him. And I remember there
was three different officers coming in and out just with
like confusion on their faces and confirming that this guy
has come into the country. And then you just saw
(05:54):
this kind of fear in their faces. But that was
when I found out for the first time that stalking
wasn't illegal in New Zealand. I had no idea, and
so they were very much like, this is not okay,
this is not good, but by law, we don't know
what we can do. And especially because right now we
don't know where he is, we don't think you should
(06:16):
stay at this house tonight, but like we need to
see if there's anything that can happen.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I thought the advice to you about how to deal
with him if you came face to face was really
interesting because it tells you a little something about a
stalker and how unreliable and unpredictable they are and how
you don't want to aggravate them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Yeah, So I got that advice from the criminal forensic psychologist,
which came after he was arrested and let go again,
and it was literally all how to avoid being taken hurt,
and yeah, like being so so thankful that he had
come up to me, and trying to keep it in
(07:00):
public and even learning how to like look for trackers
on the cars and don't leave one person at a
time and don't go to your normal routines because they
already know it. It was all the scariest part of
it was when I said, am I allowed to go
see my therapist and the psychologist said, oh no, there's
a chance he already knows where your therapist lives.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And that's the problem, right, there's still because as you mentioned,
they've invaded all parts of your life, and then you
suddenly take on responsibility for making sure other people are
safe as well.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yes, that was the hardest thing, I think, even for
all three of us in the show with Zeenie and Tessa,
we've all talked about this, that the fear you fear
for yourself is one thing, but realizing that this is
not just affecting you, but this literally puts the lives
of everyone you care about in danger. And I think
that's something that I still haven't been able to fully
(07:53):
forgive myself for and something that you still live with,
Like my immediate response was to go and live on
some tiny island somewhere news on the tiny island. But
like I was, like, I can't have anyone that I
care about my vicinity because they're in danger. And it's yeah,
it's not just one person that effects, it's the whole community.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Did you fear for your life? WHI yes, I did.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
The message that he sent that eventually got him arrested,
I found out later because he right at the end
of it said I hope to see you in the
next life soon. And they believed that he was potentially
going to take himself out and try to take me
out with him, And yeah, it was the predictability. And
you have the commander of the police on the phone,
(08:41):
and all of these detectives and cameras are getting stored
in your house and he is out there and you
know this concern from the police, but you don't know
why because I'm not allowed to know what's come up
in their investigation or from Interpol or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
But yeah, I did. The impact on a victim is physical,
it's emotional, and it's mental, isn't it? Is he any
way that you can try and you've already explained a
little bit of it, but just try and give us
a sense of the toll that it took on you En,
Zini and Tessa in your lives.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It I think it changes everything. I mean for Zini,
she was so young when this started for her and
it completely changed who she believed that she was. For me,
it took away any sense of safety ever, and so
I panic every time I leave the house. I am
(09:41):
so hyper aware all the time, and you just you
feel like you're being watched all the time, but also
your body. The best way I can describe it is,
you know, like when you're in traffic or like you
have like a really quick like a near miss of
someone that's like about to hit you, or you know something,
and you're just like that, but you live in that
all the time, and that like five seconds that you
(10:02):
would feel that in the car is just permanently with you,
and you are being feel like you're being watched all
the time, even though you are not. You know, I'm
not right now, but it never leaves you. And I
think it rips your sense of safety forever.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
All the situations were quite different for the three of
you who are in the documentary, and yet I think
you all shared a similar experience of kind of what
you went through, and there are similarities there. But Zenny's
story really kind of terrified me because her stalker was
just someone that she sort of came across and passing.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
You know.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
He was her boss's boyfriend and her mum gave them
a lift once and that's all it took. And she
didn't she had no real relationship with him, nothing, he
just done and what you know, and how he managed
to devastate her life for such a long period of time.
And she says at one point in the documentary, it
just felt like it was all a mistake. And I
(10:59):
totally understood what she meant, like, how is this happening
to me? Why is this happening?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
You know?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, Zenie's Zeni's story. Every time that I hear it
watch it, I both get so sad for her and
so angry because it had to have been a mistake.
It's insane. But then also when you see and you
hear the police's response to her, this is a young
girl who is literally having the worst kind of communication
(11:29):
with someone. She's even like, doesn't even communicate with the guy,
but the things that he's saying to her, those are
the things that the police were waiting for my guy
to say to me to be able to arrest him.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
But for Zini, it was just constant. It was constant.
It was constant threats, threats of life and other people's life.
It was horrific.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Yeah, and he is still out to this day.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
That's what.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
For me, it was one week and the police were
incredible and they were fast. For Zini, this was a
decade and she lives with the consequences and he is
walking free.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And Tessa's story is also horrific because it involves it
does involve a lot of violence. Yeah, it's Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
The first time I heard Tessa's story, I also sobbed.
But what was also incredible about Tessa's story is that
when we were talking about the criminal psychologist and the
things that he told me to do, the biggest thing
he was telling me was about that being so kind
and so nice if you saw them out, because that's
the only way you can try and de escalate. And
(12:32):
at the time, I was like, I can't do that,
and other people don't understand that either, Oh no, like
how do you do this? But for Tessa, that's what
saved her life. Yeah, and learning that you know, she's
literally been kidnapped from her beard and it's not physical
strength that gets her out, it's her ability with her
words to talk them out of it and be like,
I'm in love with it. That it's insane.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I mean, I just so appreciate those two sharing these
stories because they are extraordinary and I think they were
very very brave to do so. So so appreciate that.
Do you have faith the new laws that are going
to come into effect on May twenty six are going
to make it difference. It's going to enable police to
act earlier and help protect people. This is, of course
the changes that actually makes stalking illegal. Yes, sounds nuts
(13:15):
that we're saying.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
That, I know Australia has had it for twenty years,
Like that's how far behind we are? I definitely think so.
I've heard a lot recently from police officers who are
going through training at the moment, all just saying how
thankful they are that this law's coming in because they've
always been bound by this non existent kind of space
that they had, whereas now they feel like they can
do something and they're getting instructed on what to do
(13:38):
in these situations. So I think we've obviously got a
long way to go. But a law is everything, And
it also means that as the show comes out, if
people identify situations within themselves that they're going through, they
have an actionable thing that they can do. We're not
just putting it out and then it's like good luck
because we don't have laws.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Have you to make any other changes to your life?
Like what we see in this documentary is it doesn't
matter if you block people and change things. The way
that these stookers managed to manipulate and communicate, to communicate
with their victims, I was like, oh okay, I had
no idea they went to this extent and things. So
(14:19):
as someone who is a content creator, this is your job,
it's your career. You put yourself out there. Have you
had to make any changes to the way you work?
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah. I will never post anything that identifies my house,
nothing outside my windows. I will never post in my
suburb or like even the area in Auckland and which
I live in anymore. We've moved houses a bunch of
times since this incident. But I'm also I'm a lot
more hyper aware of all of it. But I mean,
I never to this day, never applied to this guy.
(14:47):
I've never spoken to him, and so you know, there's
always going to be a risk with that, with putting
yourself out there, but I just have to do what
I can to protect myself and not posting routines and
stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But also for me, the people.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
That my content helps is far more important, and that's
the only thing that kept me posting afterwards. Every part
of me wanted to stop, and I would have if
it wasn't for the other side of what I do
and being able to hear these messages of how it
helps people. So yeah, I've got to be a lot
more careful and cautious, and I definitely have a lot
(15:26):
more anxiety when I'm posting now, But yeah, my why
is so strong that I think it makes it more tolerable.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
And Okay, Jess, thank you so much for sharing your
story and for making the documentary it is. I think
it's you know, must must see viewing. You know, I
think everybody needs to kind of get their head around
what a real stalker and being stalked is all about
and how it works. So thank you so so much.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Of course, thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Stalked will air on sky Open on May fifth, May fourth, fifth,
and sixth. It will also be available to stream on
Neon and sky Go from the fourth of May.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
For more from the Sunday session with Francesca Rudkin, listen
live to News Talks A B from nine am Sunday,
or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio