June 14, 2026 • 22 mins
WARNING: This episode contains mentions of eating disorders. A list of resources is available at the bottom of the description if you or someone you know needs help.
The relationship between women and food can be incredibly complicated, and in many cases harmful. With weight loss and dieting engrained in girls from a young age, maintaining a positive mindset around food can be nearly impossible.
That's why Nicole Gaviria created Binge Free Bestie and is on a mission to help women improve their relationship with food, using her own experience with binge eating coupled with a master's degree in counselling.
In the episode, Toni and Nicole chat about how Nicole recognised her own binge eating habits and the work she's done to have a more positive mindset around food, her mission to help other women, and the amazing opportunity she had to meet Diary of a CEO host Steven Bartlett.
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
• What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
• Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)
• Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We Need to Talk, Toni Street's lifestyle and wellness podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, it is great to have you with us for
another episode of We Need to Talk Now. Women and
weight loss are two words that have been linked for decades.
When I was growing up, it was Jenny Craig, weight Watchers,
the Atkins diet, and in more recent times, fasting, plant
based and GLP ones. Our relationship with food is complex
and for many it can be quite overwhelming, and it
(00:29):
can be seriously damaging as well. Nicole Garbirea knows this
all too well. She's on a mission to help women
gain a better relationship with food after her own experience
with binge eating coupled with a master's degree in counseling.
It is so great to have you with us, Nicole.
I know that you have had a whole lot of
things going on in the past year, but I actually
(00:49):
think let's start with why you created.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
This binge free bestie. What is it and why did
you start it?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Well, thanks for having me into your space, Toni. I'm
so excited to be here, and I'm excited because I
feel like binge eating or emotional eating, we're just struggling
with food is something that's not spoken about enough. So
super excited to be here and be able to share
my story. So Benjfree best see that's my little well
(01:17):
not little, actually, it's my food freedom empire that I'm building.
It's starting off here an al Turtler. But my plan
is to go global, and the intention behind that is
that I want to create or have created, a really
safe down to Earth space for women to be able
to talk about these struggles, to say, you know, I'm
(01:37):
sick of doing this on my own. I'm sick of
hiding in my car, eating the burgers. I'm sick of
living this almost double life or feeling like I'm the problem.
So my intention is creating a space for us or
to come together to get some real evidence based tools
to actually start making some changes and find what we
call food freedom.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
How does it practically work? So you sign up to app?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Do you?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
But what actually is it? Yeah? So, Benjamarin BESI, I've
got a couple of different things. First, I've got a podcast,
and the intention with that is conversations like this, just
real talk Gale to gal about things that maybe you
have been in the backle of our mind for probably decades.
So I'm a registered counselor, and I, like you said,
(02:23):
I have lived experience with bungetting disorder. So I'm talking
about the experiences that I've had, the woman I've supported
have had or having, and just putting it all on
the table and giving you some really accessible, easy tools
to play with and get started. So that's kind of
one of the things they do. And the other is
I created a program and it's called The Breakup, and
(02:44):
it's all about breaking up with diet culture, food guilt,
food shame, and actually finding finding that piece and confidence
with yourself again, really learning how to tune in and
not have to follow a tracker or Jenny Craig or
weight watches or any of those external things that told
(03:06):
us how to behavior on food or what to eat
or how we should look. We've just been following rules
for so long. So my intention is to give you
the tools to follow your own internal compass, and that's
what we do in The Breakup.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So what is your feelings then, towards GLP ones that
are so prolific at the moment.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Well, I guess I have a little bit of a
spicy take on that. I think it should be really
nuanced and so I'm not a medical professional, not a doctor,
so it can't comment on medication per se. But I
am someone who works in the mental health field. And
I'm also a woman who sped decades dieting, restricting, trying
(03:49):
to alter my body, trying to fit that mold because
I really felt like weight loss was going to be
this golden ticket. So throughout my twenties I was bengening.
I put on a lot of weight. I went to
my GP and they said, hey, the kind of there's
not a lot we can do about binge eating here
in New Zealand. There's not a lot of resources, not
(04:11):
a lot of services. How about we try a bariatric surgery.
So I had a gastric sleeve, so I had eighty
percent of my stomach removed. And I thought, this is
the solution. If I don't have a tummy, I won't binge.
I'll finally get control, I'll finally get the love of
my dreams. Because when I reach that body, I'll get
(04:32):
the job, I'll get the guy. You know, I'll finally
be that woman I always wanted to be. So when
I talk to clients about GLP, one's what I always
refer to as part of my own story, which is
yes you'll get weight loss. Yes, glp ones and peptides
do turn down that food noise. And I absolutely understand
(04:57):
wanting that relief. It is it being on that treadmill
for years and years and years and worrying and obsessing
and doing that mental type of war. So why wouldn't
you want to use something that tells you it can
pause on all of that stuff and you can do
your dream body. We have sold this, this lie by
(05:19):
diet culture in our society that if we only get
that dream body, will get that dream life. Glp ones
will help you to get your dream body, but it
won't give you your dream life. When I lost I lost
fifty kds after my surgery. After six months, I started
(05:40):
been je eating again. So really, you can use these
tools like a surgery or an injectable. You can reach
those sort of health and wellbeing goals, but it's not
going to heal your relationship with food.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Can you talk to me about your personal binge eating
and why you think that after getting the suity you
resorted or reverted back to those binge eating ways. Can
you explain why that happened in.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Hindsight of course, at the time, I was feeling like, well,
this is a me problem. I'm broken, Nothing's ever gonna work.
What is wrong with me? And I hear this in
a lot of women who struggle with food is they
feel like they are the exception to the rule. They
see other women having success climbing mountains, doing the things
(06:29):
maintaining weight loss. But for some of us, it just
doesn't work that way. For some of us, it is
really hard to maintain the weight loss. And that's because
it was never about the weight. There's something else going
on for us, and for me when I figured out
was it was my nervous system. So I was quite disregulated.
(06:52):
Six months after my surgery, life started throwing me curveballs again,
as it always doesn't always will, and I didn't have
any tools to deal with it. I hadn't done any
behavior or work or why I had been eating. I
hadn't done anything to really peel back the layers and
understand all of the root causes. Because it's more than
(07:15):
just my nervous system was out of whack. It was
I was entrenched in dire culture. It was that I
felt like my worth and my value was strictly tied
to my way in shape. So when life got hard
again and I didn't know how to manage, I used
food like I always had, and it works. Food does
(07:36):
give you that sense of grounding, that sense of safety
in even pleasure, and those are things that we are
wired to seek out. So of course we turned to
food in those hard moments, and that's what happened with me.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Follow on Instagram and we need to talk with Toni Street.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
How did you unlearn those behaviors then, and what did
you do to do that work and to unpack those
other issues.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's not easy, and I would like to preface by
saying that even though I've done the work and I've
been bene free since twenty nineteen, which I'm so proud
of myself for doing, but I haven't crossed the finish
line because there's no finish line. So recovery you can
use that word if you want, but just stepping into
(08:25):
a life where you have freedom of food is an
ongoing thing. We're still going to be constantly bombarded with messages,
like in the media. Even when you go out with
your girlfriends and you go and have brunch, you might
hear that chitter chatter of well, you know, maybe just
have the holidays on the side, or what's she wearing.
(08:45):
Just we're constantly getting this messaging about food and body.
So even if you heal, just be aware of the
fact that it's a continued, ongoing job. But the way
that I did it was, as I said, she found
it really hard to find support. I know there's different
services around the world, but in New Zealand particularly, we
(09:06):
don't have a lot of resources for benge eating and
I think largely Benji's are dismissed because you can't look
at someone and know that they're struggling with beinge eating disorder.
You know, you can't take someone at face value and
see that struggle. And yeah, there's just not the resources.
(09:26):
And when I did find some, it just didn't feel relatable.
It wasn't resonating with me. It was quite clinical and
quite stuffy, and it just doesn't float my boat, so
you can tell it's not my style. So I happened
to be doing my masters at YUNI and so I
had access to their libraries and their resources, and I
(09:47):
was learning different modality. So essentially I just became my
own guinea pig and started trying out different things I
went to India for a week while too, and I
did a yoga teacher training and loon breath work and
somatics and popped that into my practice as well. And
just over time, I've created this smallas board of different
(10:08):
tools that I know work for me. I've offered them
to my clients it's worked for them too, And essentially
I've put together a food freedom method, which is working
on physical restriction, so like not eating enough, eating irregularly,
so we tackle that mental restriction, which is letting go
(10:29):
of all of those food rules, so good food, bad food, naughty, nice,
calves of the devil. And then that nervous system regulation piece,
so really coming home to yourself, learning to not eat
your feelings basically, So you've got to have all those
pieces in play, and that is how we find piece
(10:49):
and freedom or food. It's not through another diet, it's
not through more control, it's not through just eat moderately,
and it's not through a GLP one either. If you
want to use them, I'd love to support people who
are using them because I think it is really important
to give them a shame free space. So many women
(11:09):
are not talking about being curious about using pit tides
or using them because there's so much judgment the same
there's just so much judgment, and I don't want them
to have just another thing to hide. So that's why
I say it's if you're using them, that's your probative,
it's your body, it's your choice. Well let's peer it
(11:30):
up with some of these other tools as well.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
What does binging look like? If we've got someone listening
to this thinking do I have a problem with binge eating?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
What did it look like for you?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Well? I think the interesting thing about benge eating is
a lot of people may not resonate with that word
benge eating or think that they have binge eating disorder.
I know when my GP said you have bingeating disorder,
I was like, oh no, that's an eating disorder. That's
not me. I don't put me in that box. And
I was incredibly cam'fort are worth that? So a lot
(12:02):
of people who benji some of the classic behaviors are
eating past that point of fullness. So just say, if
you put hunger in fullness of a scale of one
to ten, ten is I'm so full i feel like
I'm going to be sick or I'm unbuttoning my pants,
or maybe having to rush off to the toilet. You're
eating it like beyond an eight when you're having those
(12:23):
Benje episodes. So eating past fullness, eating rapidly is common
sometimes a bit of dissociation from your body, so it's
like zoning out, or it's almost like you can look
down at yourself bird's eye view and you just come
to it and you're like, oh my gosh, I've eaten
three bags of chips. How did this happen? I've just
inhaled this food, so it could look like that. But
(12:46):
I think the most common key piece is this double life,
the guilt, the shame, the secrecy. So for me when
I was benge eating, what happened was every day on
the way home from work, I would automatically swing through
the burger being drive through, and I was buying as
many burgers as I could afford to get on that day.
(13:08):
So if I had twenty dollars, it was I'd buy
twenty dollars of burgers. If I had ten dollars, it
was ten. It was as much as I could get.
I would eat it as fast as they could hide
the rubbish in the glove box or hide it in
the neighbors bins. I never ever shared with my partner
what was going on. I even used to burn rubbish
(13:28):
in the fireplace or even hide it in the in
the parks rubbish bins. It was just so much shame.
And then I would cook a dinner for the family
and would all sit down and eat together, even though
I was so full, full past you know, past my
head here. But they're essentially very common. Is women using food,
(13:49):
having this double life to see to regalate, to tap
out of life, to have a bit of avoidance, a
bit of me time as a biological or psychological response
to the extreme dieting or irregular eating. So if that
(14:09):
sounds like you could be like binge eating, emotional eating,
we can pop in the same basket. Is maybe not
eating such large porsches, but it's using that food as
a tool to manage life. Either way, if you label
it as I'm addicted to food or I'm a compulsive eater,
I'm a binge eatter. Whatever word do you want to use,
(14:32):
you choose your language, But the tools that I've got
work for all of those words.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You're listening to. We need to talk with Toni Street.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What age do you think this started for you.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
For me, it's a funny one because I feel like
it's the same thread that I hear in all of
the women I support stories that when I first became
aware of my body around like eleven or twelve, you know,
the schoolhard start noticing the boys, and I started noticing
(15:05):
the boys weren't noticing me. And so that was when
I first started comparing my body to the other girls.
And I looked at the woman around me and saw
the behaviors they were doing, the books they were reading,
even what was happening in the movies, right the girl
gets the guy when she fits the mold or when
(15:25):
she has the glow up or the makeover. And so
my young brain put those things together and said, well, okay,
I'll I'll alter the way I look. So that's when
I started doing things like squats in my bedroom after bedtime,
and just little things over time that slowly snowballed into
(15:46):
you know, doing the Gillian Michael's DVD's mom had in
the lounge, or stealing her weight watcher's book or looking
in the women's health mag and like trying to follow
the calorie you know, cabbage suit diet they had in there.
I just slowly, over time, escalated into that Benjini.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Interesting. Interesting, it often starts really young, doesn't it. Now.
I love that you're on.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
This crusade and you've had this lift experience. You've also
got a master's in counseling, and you've had this incredible
opportunity to meet the diary of a CEO Steven Bartlett.
Can you tell us how that opportunity came about and
what that has meant for you?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Bill, it's a little bit mad. It feels like almost
like a fever dream. So about well, actually this time
a year ago. Started on June first, I competed in
a thirty day business challenge and it was hosted by
Stephen and it was four people who wanted to build
an online business and some sort of a product. And
(16:45):
that's when I decided to build the Breakup. So it's
all an online program. I built video lessons, I built
a community, and I hosted it on a platform that
Stephen had just invested in. And the strange thing was
my husband and I we were over in the Gold
Coast the day that the competition opened, and it came
up as a Facebook ad and it said would you
(17:07):
like to win one hundred thousand dollars to build your
dream business. And I just had this feeling in my bones.
I was like, yes, I'm going to win that. This
just absolute knowing. And my husband was like, for goodness sake,
like you know we're on holiday, come on, there's like
let's relax and say no. Like I just know. It
(17:29):
was maybe a little bit delulu, but I just had
this really strong sense. So I got to work. I
did the thirty days. I absolutely hustled. I built out
the whole program. Every day I would post in their
community this is day one of building my dream business
or my food freedom Empire. And I really just wanted
(17:50):
to grab his attention. And in July last year, I
woke up one morning and I checked my Instagram notifications
and it was blow and I just knew in that moment.
I opened it up and it was a video of
Steven with a suitcase of money and he goes the
winner is Nicole from New Zealand. I was like, I'm sorry,
(18:17):
what And it just to this day I think about
it all the times. I'm like, is that is this
real life? And I ended up going over to La
and January this year, so just in the New Year,
I went over over there. I had a bit of
a boss bag trip. I did all the cool touristy
(18:38):
things and I've never been to the US, so yeah,
I got to go to his place and see behind
the scenes of the divers CEO podcast when you hear
Tony Robbins on, which was pretty cool for yeah, and
we had a bit of time and went weoring talking
about Okay, so how am I going to keep building
(18:59):
this empire? How am I going to keep making impact
for women, making change? Because ultimately that's what I want.
I don't want woman to be struggling for as long
as I did. And I think it's really what made
this possible for me, Like winning that competition and being
able to do that is killing because when I was
(19:22):
binge eating, when I was chasing Skinny, I was so
tunnel vision on that one goal. I was diluting myself.
I was distracted, I was playing small and there is
absolutely no way that I would have put myself forward
or even dreamt of being in that room. And so
when I tell a woman food freedom, it's not just
(19:42):
about it's not even really even about food. It's about
reclaiming yourself and stepping into the life you deserve and
having that bravery and that courage to choose yourself. And
I just don't think that I ever would have got
to LA and been in that room and doing that
seven if I hadn't done the other pieces of work first.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
No, Well, it's proof that your method works. Right, So
what's next for you? What's next for you? Now?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
What's next for the business.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Well, what's happening right now is I'm just continuing to
build my bench farbst community. I'm welcoming women into the space.
We're doing the Mahy, I'm doing my podcast. I'm like
really into the podcasting as Wow. Essentially a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
And so fun, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
It's fun? You know, it's a little scary. I definitely
have the imposter syndrome and that little voice in my
head saying like, who are you to say this? Who
are you to put your face out there and do things?
But I think my mantra of the last year has
been why not me?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I've got a manstra that I use in my Confident
Communication course, which is taking opportunities and not being afraid
to put yourself out there. And it's If not me,
then who you know? It's not you someone that's got
a master's and counseling. You've been through the bin as
a as a child and all the way through, and
you've had weight loss surgery.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
If you're not qualified, then who else is you know?
Speaker 4 (21:07):
And I have to remind myself that as well. It's
like and also who cares?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Who is Zach?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Don't like me? Who cares? At the end of the day,
Here's where I am and what I'm doing, and my
approach and my energy will resonate for some woman and
someone else will resonate for others. And that's great because
there should be lots of fuster to choose from, So
why not me?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I feel like that's such a good place to eat. Nicole,
thank you so much and all the very best. And
I know that you're on Instagram. What's your Instagram handle?
For anyone that wants to follow you.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
It's binge Free Bestie. If you pop binge Free Bestie
and any pos YouTube, Spotify for the potty, and my
website everything's under bene Free Bestie, So pop them in
and you're going to find me on all the different
places on the interwebs.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Thanks for listening to we need to talk. Contact us
on Instagram at we need to talk with Toni Street,
or email we need to talk at Costonline, dot co,
dot z
We Need to Talk, Toni Street's lifestyle and wellness podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, it is great to have you with us for
another episode of We Need to Talk Now. Women and
weight loss are two words that have been linked for decades.
When I was growing up, it was Jenny Craig, weight Watchers,
the Atkins diet, and in more recent times, fasting, plant
based and GLP ones. Our relationship with food is complex
and for many it can be quite overwhelming, and it
(00:29):
can be seriously damaging as well. Nicole Garbirea knows this
all too well. She's on a mission to help women
gain a better relationship with food after her own experience
with binge eating coupled with a master's degree in counseling.
It is so great to have you with us, Nicole.
I know that you have had a whole lot of
things going on in the past year, but I actually
(00:49):
think let's start with why you created.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
This binge free bestie. What is it and why did
you start it?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Well, thanks for having me into your space, Toni. I'm
so excited to be here, and I'm excited because I
feel like binge eating or emotional eating, we're just struggling
with food is something that's not spoken about enough. So
super excited to be here and be able to share
my story. So Benjfree best see that's my little well
(01:17):
not little, actually, it's my food freedom empire that I'm building.
It's starting off here an al Turtler. But my plan
is to go global, and the intention behind that is
that I want to create or have created, a really
safe down to Earth space for women to be able
to talk about these struggles, to say, you know, I'm
(01:37):
sick of doing this on my own. I'm sick of
hiding in my car, eating the burgers. I'm sick of
living this almost double life or feeling like I'm the problem.
So my intention is creating a space for us or
to come together to get some real evidence based tools
to actually start making some changes and find what we
call food freedom.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
How does it practically work? So you sign up to app?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Do you?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
But what actually is it? Yeah? So, Benjamarin BESI, I've
got a couple of different things. First, I've got a podcast,
and the intention with that is conversations like this, just
real talk Gale to gal about things that maybe you
have been in the backle of our mind for probably decades.
So I'm a registered counselor, and I, like you said,
(02:23):
I have lived experience with bungetting disorder. So I'm talking
about the experiences that I've had, the woman I've supported
have had or having, and just putting it all on
the table and giving you some really accessible, easy tools
to play with and get started. So that's kind of
one of the things they do. And the other is
I created a program and it's called The Breakup, and
(02:44):
it's all about breaking up with diet culture, food guilt,
food shame, and actually finding finding that piece and confidence
with yourself again, really learning how to tune in and
not have to follow a tracker or Jenny Craig or
weight watches or any of those external things that told
(03:06):
us how to behavior on food or what to eat
or how we should look. We've just been following rules
for so long. So my intention is to give you
the tools to follow your own internal compass, and that's
what we do in The Breakup.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So what is your feelings then, towards GLP ones that
are so prolific at the moment.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Well, I guess I have a little bit of a
spicy take on that. I think it should be really
nuanced and so I'm not a medical professional, not a doctor,
so it can't comment on medication per se. But I
am someone who works in the mental health field. And
I'm also a woman who sped decades dieting, restricting, trying
(03:49):
to alter my body, trying to fit that mold because
I really felt like weight loss was going to be
this golden ticket. So throughout my twenties I was bengening.
I put on a lot of weight. I went to
my GP and they said, hey, the kind of there's
not a lot we can do about binge eating here
in New Zealand. There's not a lot of resources, not
(04:11):
a lot of services. How about we try a bariatric surgery.
So I had a gastric sleeve, so I had eighty
percent of my stomach removed. And I thought, this is
the solution. If I don't have a tummy, I won't binge.
I'll finally get control, I'll finally get the love of
my dreams. Because when I reach that body, I'll get
(04:32):
the job, I'll get the guy. You know, I'll finally
be that woman I always wanted to be. So when
I talk to clients about GLP, one's what I always
refer to as part of my own story, which is
yes you'll get weight loss. Yes, glp ones and peptides
do turn down that food noise. And I absolutely understand
(04:57):
wanting that relief. It is it being on that treadmill
for years and years and years and worrying and obsessing
and doing that mental type of war. So why wouldn't
you want to use something that tells you it can
pause on all of that stuff and you can do
your dream body. We have sold this, this lie by
(05:19):
diet culture in our society that if we only get
that dream body, will get that dream life. Glp ones
will help you to get your dream body, but it
won't give you your dream life. When I lost I lost
fifty kds after my surgery. After six months, I started
(05:40):
been je eating again. So really, you can use these
tools like a surgery or an injectable. You can reach
those sort of health and wellbeing goals, but it's not
going to heal your relationship with food.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Can you talk to me about your personal binge eating
and why you think that after getting the suity you
resorted or reverted back to those binge eating ways. Can
you explain why that happened in.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Hindsight of course, at the time, I was feeling like, well,
this is a me problem. I'm broken, Nothing's ever gonna work.
What is wrong with me? And I hear this in
a lot of women who struggle with food is they
feel like they are the exception to the rule. They
see other women having success climbing mountains, doing the things
(06:29):
maintaining weight loss. But for some of us, it just
doesn't work that way. For some of us, it is
really hard to maintain the weight loss. And that's because
it was never about the weight. There's something else going
on for us, and for me when I figured out
was it was my nervous system. So I was quite disregulated.
(06:52):
Six months after my surgery, life started throwing me curveballs again,
as it always doesn't always will, and I didn't have
any tools to deal with it. I hadn't done any
behavior or work or why I had been eating. I
hadn't done anything to really peel back the layers and
understand all of the root causes. Because it's more than
(07:15):
just my nervous system was out of whack. It was
I was entrenched in dire culture. It was that I
felt like my worth and my value was strictly tied
to my way in shape. So when life got hard
again and I didn't know how to manage, I used
food like I always had, and it works. Food does
(07:36):
give you that sense of grounding, that sense of safety
in even pleasure, and those are things that we are
wired to seek out. So of course we turned to
food in those hard moments, and that's what happened with me.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Follow on Instagram and we need to talk with Toni Street.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
How did you unlearn those behaviors then, and what did
you do to do that work and to unpack those
other issues.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's not easy, and I would like to preface by
saying that even though I've done the work and I've
been bene free since twenty nineteen, which I'm so proud
of myself for doing, but I haven't crossed the finish
line because there's no finish line. So recovery you can
use that word if you want, but just stepping into
(08:25):
a life where you have freedom of food is an
ongoing thing. We're still going to be constantly bombarded with messages,
like in the media. Even when you go out with
your girlfriends and you go and have brunch, you might
hear that chitter chatter of well, you know, maybe just
have the holidays on the side, or what's she wearing.
(08:45):
Just we're constantly getting this messaging about food and body.
So even if you heal, just be aware of the
fact that it's a continued, ongoing job. But the way
that I did it was, as I said, she found
it really hard to find support. I know there's different
services around the world, but in New Zealand particularly, we
(09:06):
don't have a lot of resources for benge eating and
I think largely Benji's are dismissed because you can't look
at someone and know that they're struggling with beinge eating disorder.
You know, you can't take someone at face value and
see that struggle. And yeah, there's just not the resources.
(09:26):
And when I did find some, it just didn't feel relatable.
It wasn't resonating with me. It was quite clinical and
quite stuffy, and it just doesn't float my boat, so
you can tell it's not my style. So I happened
to be doing my masters at YUNI and so I
had access to their libraries and their resources, and I
(09:47):
was learning different modality. So essentially I just became my
own guinea pig and started trying out different things I
went to India for a week while too, and I
did a yoga teacher training and loon breath work and
somatics and popped that into my practice as well. And
just over time, I've created this smallas board of different
(10:08):
tools that I know work for me. I've offered them
to my clients it's worked for them too, And essentially
I've put together a food freedom method, which is working
on physical restriction, so like not eating enough, eating irregularly,
so we tackle that mental restriction, which is letting go
(10:29):
of all of those food rules, so good food, bad food, naughty, nice,
calves of the devil. And then that nervous system regulation piece,
so really coming home to yourself, learning to not eat
your feelings basically, So you've got to have all those
pieces in play, and that is how we find piece
(10:49):
and freedom or food. It's not through another diet, it's
not through more control, it's not through just eat moderately,
and it's not through a GLP one either. If you
want to use them, I'd love to support people who
are using them because I think it is really important
to give them a shame free space. So many women
(11:09):
are not talking about being curious about using pit tides
or using them because there's so much judgment the same
there's just so much judgment, and I don't want them
to have just another thing to hide. So that's why
I say it's if you're using them, that's your probative,
it's your body, it's your choice. Well let's peer it
(11:30):
up with some of these other tools as well.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
What does binging look like? If we've got someone listening
to this thinking do I have a problem with binge eating?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
What did it look like for you?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Well? I think the interesting thing about benge eating is
a lot of people may not resonate with that word
benge eating or think that they have binge eating disorder.
I know when my GP said you have bingeating disorder,
I was like, oh no, that's an eating disorder. That's
not me. I don't put me in that box. And
I was incredibly cam'fort are worth that? So a lot
(12:02):
of people who benji some of the classic behaviors are
eating past that point of fullness. So just say, if
you put hunger in fullness of a scale of one
to ten, ten is I'm so full i feel like
I'm going to be sick or I'm unbuttoning my pants,
or maybe having to rush off to the toilet. You're
eating it like beyond an eight when you're having those
(12:23):
Benje episodes. So eating past fullness, eating rapidly is common
sometimes a bit of dissociation from your body, so it's
like zoning out, or it's almost like you can look
down at yourself bird's eye view and you just come
to it and you're like, oh my gosh, I've eaten
three bags of chips. How did this happen? I've just
inhaled this food, so it could look like that. But
(12:46):
I think the most common key piece is this double life,
the guilt, the shame, the secrecy. So for me when
I was benge eating, what happened was every day on
the way home from work, I would automatically swing through
the burger being drive through, and I was buying as
many burgers as I could afford to get on that day.
(13:08):
So if I had twenty dollars, it was I'd buy
twenty dollars of burgers. If I had ten dollars, it
was ten. It was as much as I could get.
I would eat it as fast as they could hide
the rubbish in the glove box or hide it in
the neighbors bins. I never ever shared with my partner
what was going on. I even used to burn rubbish
(13:28):
in the fireplace or even hide it in the in
the parks rubbish bins. It was just so much shame.
And then I would cook a dinner for the family
and would all sit down and eat together, even though
I was so full, full past you know, past my
head here. But they're essentially very common. Is women using food,
(13:49):
having this double life to see to regalate, to tap
out of life, to have a bit of avoidance, a
bit of me time as a biological or psychological response
to the extreme dieting or irregular eating. So if that
(14:09):
sounds like you could be like binge eating, emotional eating,
we can pop in the same basket. Is maybe not
eating such large porsches, but it's using that food as
a tool to manage life. Either way, if you label
it as I'm addicted to food or I'm a compulsive eater,
I'm a binge eatter. Whatever word do you want to use,
(14:32):
you choose your language, But the tools that I've got
work for all of those words.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You're listening to. We need to talk with Toni Street.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What age do you think this started for you.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
For me, it's a funny one because I feel like
it's the same thread that I hear in all of
the women I support stories that when I first became
aware of my body around like eleven or twelve, you know,
the schoolhard start noticing the boys, and I started noticing
(15:05):
the boys weren't noticing me. And so that was when
I first started comparing my body to the other girls.
And I looked at the woman around me and saw
the behaviors they were doing, the books they were reading,
even what was happening in the movies, right the girl
gets the guy when she fits the mold or when
(15:25):
she has the glow up or the makeover. And so
my young brain put those things together and said, well, okay,
I'll I'll alter the way I look. So that's when
I started doing things like squats in my bedroom after bedtime,
and just little things over time that slowly snowballed into
(15:46):
you know, doing the Gillian Michael's DVD's mom had in
the lounge, or stealing her weight watcher's book or looking
in the women's health mag and like trying to follow
the calorie you know, cabbage suit diet they had in there.
I just slowly, over time, escalated into that Benjini.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Interesting. Interesting, it often starts really young, doesn't it. Now.
I love that you're on.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
This crusade and you've had this lift experience. You've also
got a master's in counseling, and you've had this incredible
opportunity to meet the diary of a CEO Steven Bartlett.
Can you tell us how that opportunity came about and
what that has meant for you?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Bill, it's a little bit mad. It feels like almost
like a fever dream. So about well, actually this time
a year ago. Started on June first, I competed in
a thirty day business challenge and it was hosted by
Stephen and it was four people who wanted to build
an online business and some sort of a product. And
(16:45):
that's when I decided to build the Breakup. So it's
all an online program. I built video lessons, I built
a community, and I hosted it on a platform that
Stephen had just invested in. And the strange thing was
my husband and I we were over in the Gold
Coast the day that the competition opened, and it came
up as a Facebook ad and it said would you
(17:07):
like to win one hundred thousand dollars to build your
dream business. And I just had this feeling in my bones.
I was like, yes, I'm going to win that. This
just absolute knowing. And my husband was like, for goodness sake,
like you know we're on holiday, come on, there's like
let's relax and say no. Like I just know. It
(17:29):
was maybe a little bit delulu, but I just had
this really strong sense. So I got to work. I
did the thirty days. I absolutely hustled. I built out
the whole program. Every day I would post in their
community this is day one of building my dream business
or my food freedom Empire. And I really just wanted
(17:50):
to grab his attention. And in July last year, I
woke up one morning and I checked my Instagram notifications
and it was blow and I just knew in that moment.
I opened it up and it was a video of
Steven with a suitcase of money and he goes the
winner is Nicole from New Zealand. I was like, I'm sorry,
(18:17):
what And it just to this day I think about
it all the times. I'm like, is that is this
real life? And I ended up going over to La
and January this year, so just in the New Year,
I went over over there. I had a bit of
a boss bag trip. I did all the cool touristy
(18:38):
things and I've never been to the US, so yeah,
I got to go to his place and see behind
the scenes of the divers CEO podcast when you hear
Tony Robbins on, which was pretty cool for yeah, and
we had a bit of time and went weoring talking
about Okay, so how am I going to keep building
(18:59):
this empire? How am I going to keep making impact
for women, making change? Because ultimately that's what I want.
I don't want woman to be struggling for as long
as I did. And I think it's really what made
this possible for me, Like winning that competition and being
able to do that is killing because when I was
(19:22):
binge eating, when I was chasing Skinny, I was so
tunnel vision on that one goal. I was diluting myself.
I was distracted, I was playing small and there is
absolutely no way that I would have put myself forward
or even dreamt of being in that room. And so
when I tell a woman food freedom, it's not just
(19:42):
about it's not even really even about food. It's about
reclaiming yourself and stepping into the life you deserve and
having that bravery and that courage to choose yourself. And
I just don't think that I ever would have got
to LA and been in that room and doing that
seven if I hadn't done the other pieces of work first.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
No, Well, it's proof that your method works. Right, So
what's next for you? What's next for you? Now?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
What's next for the business.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Well, what's happening right now is I'm just continuing to
build my bench farbst community. I'm welcoming women into the space.
We're doing the Mahy, I'm doing my podcast. I'm like
really into the podcasting as Wow. Essentially a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
And so fun, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
It's fun? You know, it's a little scary. I definitely
have the imposter syndrome and that little voice in my
head saying like, who are you to say this? Who
are you to put your face out there and do things?
But I think my mantra of the last year has
been why not me?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I've got a manstra that I use in my Confident
Communication course, which is taking opportunities and not being afraid
to put yourself out there. And it's If not me,
then who you know? It's not you someone that's got
a master's and counseling. You've been through the bin as
a as a child and all the way through, and
you've had weight loss surgery.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
If you're not qualified, then who else is you know?
Speaker 4 (21:07):
And I have to remind myself that as well. It's
like and also who cares?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Who is Zach?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Don't like me? Who cares? At the end of the day,
Here's where I am and what I'm doing, and my
approach and my energy will resonate for some woman and
someone else will resonate for others. And that's great because
there should be lots of fuster to choose from, So
why not me?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I feel like that's such a good place to eat. Nicole,
thank you so much and all the very best. And
I know that you're on Instagram. What's your Instagram handle?
For anyone that wants to follow you.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
It's binge Free Bestie. If you pop binge Free Bestie
and any pos YouTube, Spotify for the potty, and my
website everything's under bene Free Bestie, So pop them in
and you're going to find me on all the different
places on the interwebs.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Thanks for listening to we need to talk. Contact us
on Instagram at we need to talk with Toni Street,
or email we need to talk at Costonline, dot co,
dot z
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