Follow up on free information

When someone mentions somehting important in passing, circle back

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that if a person mentioned something important in passing,
circle back to it. When people share something about themselves,

(00:27):
they are okay with you knowing it, and knowing it
can help you feel more connected. So we have probably
all had conversations when the other person mentions something going
on in their life while focused on another topic. Maybe
your colleague asks to reschedule a meeting because of a
parent teacher conference at her daughter's new school. A fellow

(00:51):
volunteer might apologize for turning something in late and note
that she has been behind on everything since being out
of town for a funeral last week. Your buddy from
yoga might arrive late for class and as she is
squeezing her mat into place, mutter and explanation about her
puppy not wanting to let her out of the house.

(01:14):
All of this is sometimes called free information, tidbits of
personal information people drop while they are talking about something else.
When you follow up on information like this, you show
that you care, which can help build the relationship. As
you are chatting about the rescheduled meeting, you could ask

(01:36):
your colleague if her daughter as liking her new school.
You could tell your fellow volunteer you are sorry for
her loss, and perhaps ask about the person who died.
And after yoga class you could ask to see photos
of the new puppy. There are some upsides to following
up on free information versus other ways of connecting one

(01:58):
obvious one. With free information, you already know that the
other person is comfortable talking about it, since they mentioned it.
You don't have to feel around blindly for ways to connect,
like what are your hobbies or do you like the Phillies.
When you follow up on free information, you know the
topic is relevant to the other person. This gets you

(02:20):
to genuine connection much more efficiently. I have noticed that
some people are pros at noticing free information. They seem
to remember it effortlessly. If you are one of those people, wow,
thank you for making people feel seen. If you are

(02:41):
not naturally one of those people, and I would include
myself in this category, I have some tips. First, be
on the lookout for free information now that you know
it has a name. This could be helpful. You don't
have to engage with every piece of free information, but
when a person feels something important, notice sometimes you may

(03:04):
be able to acknowledge the free information right there. You
mentioned you were away for a funeral recently. I'm sorry
for your loss. Then leave some silence in case the
person wants to volunteer something about the person who died.
Other times, you may want to follow up on free
information later. You can treat this like any other sort

(03:25):
of follow up you would do. That is, track it
and schedule it so you don't forget about it. The
colleague who rescheduled a meeting because of a conference at
her daughter's new school. In your personal notes for the meeting,
make a note new school as a reminder to ask

(03:45):
about it. If your friend mentions she can't run before
work next Thursday morning because she's giving a big presentation,
write an entry on your task list for that day
or the day before Julia's big presentation. Then, when you
see the entry on Thursday, text her to wish her
good luck or to ask how it went. We are

(04:08):
all complex people with complex lives. Free information can offer
us little glimpses into something we might not have known about.
When this information is acknowledged, it can make other people
feel seen in the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

(04:31):
and here's to making the most of our time. Thanks
for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

(04:59):
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