Second Cup: Don't play ping pong with plans

Spend time getting together instead of on logistics

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to stop playing ping pong with plans. When
you are making plans with people, aim to figure out

(00:25):
what you are doing in the fewest number of messages possible.
Save your effort for interacting live rather than figuring out logistics.
In professional and personal contexts, it is easy to find
ourselves spending way too much time scheduling things. A colleague

(00:47):
sends a group email asking about availability next week. People
respond with paragraphs about their schedules, recounting vacations, dentist appointments,
big deadlines, and more hours or even days pass by
the time every one has responded, and the organizer suggests
the time that seems to work, But by that time

(01:09):
people's availability has changed and the process begins again. This
happens in our personal lives too. A friend suggests lunch
your game and ask when is good. She says any time,
so you suggest Tuesday at noon. Somehow any time doesn't

(01:30):
include Tuesday at noon, so eventually you land on Monday.
You start discussing where to go, and multiple messages later,
you've decided on a restaurant, only to realize it is
closed on Mondays, and so the ping pong continues. But
our planning procedures don't have to be quite so time consuming.

(01:50):
There are lots of ways to plan more efficiently. I
know some people use software like Calendly for scheduling meetings.
This can certainly be helpful if you need to schedule
a lot of one on one type calls, and you
don't want to offer three people Monday morning and then
need to circle back with each of them as times disappear.

(02:14):
You also don't need to hear every one's life story
as you are scheduling them. Each person can just choose
a time that you've made available that works for them.
I know some folks also use doodle polls and the
equivalent for group get togethers. These have the advantage of
allowing you to quickly see which is the most popular option,

(02:36):
and allowing people to specify that they are available at
a certain point but not particularly happy about it. You
can meet if need be, but the organizer knows it
is not your first choice. I love that little tweak.
But these tools don't necessarily solve all the logistical problems
such as where are your meeting or what you're doing

(02:58):
if those are relevant questions, and plenty of offices have
meetings go through their own scheduling software, which often suffers
from the problem of not really allowing people to state
their preferences. So before someone issues a calendar invite, they
are generally still emailing around about availability. This is definitely

(03:20):
going to be the case for someone you haven't met
with before, as an unsolicited calendar invite can feel a
little well aggressive, so if you are emailing, you should
have a strategy. One option is to suggest three options
and ask the other person to choose what sounds good
to them. For instance, if someone suggests lunch next week,

(03:44):
you could reply with, how about Monday eleven forty five
a m at the Bluebird Cafe, Chopped or India Palace.
That time might not work for the other person, but
he or she is likely to follow your lead on
specif and in the best case, is going to respond
with could you do Tuesday or Wednesday at that time

(04:07):
at any of those places? At that point you respond
with your favorite and your first choice of Tuesday or Wednesday,
and you're all good. The ping pong game stops if
proposing just one time feels wrong to you, feel free
to propose two to three times or small windows, but

(04:27):
no more. People get overwhelmed by too much choice. If
you know the other person has a bad habit of
not responding with specifics, feel free to add the helpful nudge.
If these times don't work for you, please suggest a
few that do. Ideally, this prompts the other person to

(04:48):
respond with two to three options that you can pick from.
If you are coordinating with more than one person and
you're not doing a poll, or you have multiple questions,
the approach of suggesting a few specific options can still work.
Ask people to reply by a specific time with all

(05:09):
the options that work for them. Then you can choose
the one that's the best fit and communicate the plan.
For instance, you might write by the end of the
day to day please reply just to me to let
me know whether you are available for a zoom meeting
Monday at ten, Tuesday at one, and or Thursday at nine.

(05:33):
Please let me know all the times that are possible
for you. Then I will see what works for everyone
and communicate the plan tomorrow morning. I have taken this
approach to scheduling a virtual meeting I do regularly with
four other people who have busy schedules. Now, I know
some people like to come across as flexible, and if

(05:55):
you are truly open, that's great. But often so when
people claim to be flexible, they aren't. So be kind
and cut down on the ping pong by giving some parameters.
If a friend asks where you'd like to go to lunch,
you can say I'm game for anywhere you choose, But

(06:17):
then you truly have to let them choose, and it
might be a restaurant in their office lobby forty five
minutes from your place of work. If you have any
sort of place preference or dietaria requirements, it truly is
nicer to just list three places that will appeal and

(06:38):
are reasonably priced, I mean, unless you're paying for it.
If you tell someone how about an Italian place in midtown,
this requires them to do some research. If you suggest
an Italian place, you are giving them the easy option
of just saying yes. A similar approach can work for

(07:00):
professional meetings too. I am currently available anytime Monday morning.
Please propose a time. Then this works. No one is
going to believe that you are free for the entirety
of the next week, so don't say it. Plus, it's
a bit overwhelming for someone trying to schedule something. I mean, really,

(07:21):
anywhere in the hours you might conceivably be working. If
someone gives you a range, feel free to be decisive.
It is more efficient for everyone. When a colleague says,
I am free for a zoom call anytime Wednesday or
Thursday after two, simply choose a time within that window. Great,

(07:42):
let's do Wednesday at two thirty. Here's a link. Now
your scheduling is done, no more ping pong. You may
think that being flexible is desirable, like, oh, yeah, Wednesday
after two works for me too, When would you like
to meet? But you are putting work back on the
other person and delaying the resolution. More ping pong. One

(08:04):
side note, if the person you are making plans with
sometimes takes a while to get back to you, specify
that you are currently available at the times you are offering.
That way, they won't be disappointed if several days later
your availability has changed. Of course, if we are talking
about meeting with a new potential client that you have

(08:25):
been pursuing for months, you may want to put calendar
holds on all the times you offer so that you
know your schedule won't have changed by the time of
the reply. By communicating clearly and acting decisively, we can
avoid sinking lots of time into plan ping pong, so

(08:46):
we can get on with our lives and enjoy the
plans that we have made in the meantime. This is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
our tak Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

(09:09):
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four then
Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at
Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com. That before Breakfast

(09:30):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much.
Should I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast
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